Search the Community

Alright, round 2. I sorta messed up my last challenge by distancing myself from everything and avoiding dealing with stuff.. That's probably going to happen again, I mean statistically speaking I have a history of flaking out. But this time I'm just gonna try and still update and stay on track. Regardless of whether I'm actually going to the gym or writing or trying new stuff, I don't want to quit. So that's goal no.1. Complete the challenge regardless of how I do. I just wanna cross that finish line, even if I'm limping. The goals are pretty much all up in the air. Maybe I should be doing some writing, haven't written anything in weeks. I'm thinking the book that I'm working on is kinda boring so I think I need to start that over- after all, all writing is rewriting. But then I'm thinking I should start a blog? I'm definitely more excited about that, easier to handle, more chunk-size projects. I just don't want to continue doing nothing but I don't want to get overwhelmed either. I am insanely busy at the moment- work, work, work.. My social life has been pretty hectic as well (which is mostly a good thing) but I'd like to be able to say that I can't hang out late because I've got gym tomorrow. It's all about priorities. I want to be the kind of person who works out regularly and with consistency so I gotta make that happen. Other stuff I'd like to happen is just general feeling good about myself; dressing up, wearing high heels, getting laid, going out and DOING things, not being afraid to speak my own damn mind (this is in reference to me sharing an article on facebook about feminism and my uncle being a complete nincompoop about it. It's ok that Ghostbusters has women in it, it's actually a really good thing, please remove your hyperventilating head out of your asshole). So, goal stuff thingies: Complete the challenge Continue with my workout program Train for the half marathon Write something at some point or another Be happy Maybe it's stupid to go at this with such a vague plan. Maybe I'll get nothing done because nothing on my list is concrete enough or focused enough or whatever. We'll see. I'm just gonna play it by ear. Cancel

After planning comes... Action! Trigger warning: I post pictures of food and tempting stuff. @Naxius So yeah, I am going to start swimming this month and hopefully keep at it all summer. Since my knee is not showing any sign of getting better, I had to find and alternative to running and high impact sport, so obviously, like every recovering athlete in the making, I went for swimming. In addition, I have decided to start trying something new. NerdFitness might be a fitness-based website, but I don't think I am the only one that has found the community amazingly supporting in all areas for life. It is truly amazing to get to see the "behind-the-scenes" of people's progress, when normally you only get to hear the success stories. It really makes you realise that in the end, everyone is just doing their best to try and balance busy lives while staying healthy. Anyhow, I don't just want to level-up my fitness level, but level up all areas of my life - Emotional, Physical, Spiritual and Mental. Now as all Nerds know, it is not a good idea to try and do too many things at once, so every month I will focus mostly on one aspect, with one week . The last challenge was mostly a mental one - I focused mostly on self-discipline, study and overall setting the ground for what is coming now, which is the physical practice. Aside from the holistic approach, there is also a bit of non-formal learning theory applied here that I might get into a further post. So, what does this challenge concretely look like? Well - here it goes: Health - Physical 1) Get your cardio Go swimming 2x a week The number is dictated by my budget, unfortunately, as I have quite a few things to pay for this month. I am going back home for the holidays though so I will be able to go more often then. 2) Nourish your body I have started to suspect that one of the reasons my knee is not healing is that the time of injury (whatever it may be) also coincides with the time I decided to try and go on a diet because I had started spotting my abs. This period was, however, also combined with what I suspect is a real underestimation of my current physical activity, which lead to a cycle of binges as well as one week in between where I was constantly eating - but eating junk. Which in turn was followed by a week where I barely ate anything because I felt so sick... sooo... yeah... Because of this, I figured I should try eating instead. Eat between 1600 and 1800 calories Get at least 103g of protein 5x a week 3) Fight mindless snacking This has been a problem lately... it has always been, really, in my life. I had managed to curb it at the beginning of the year thanks to, um, having barely enough budget to eat, but it has come back with a vengeance lately. So, yeah, that needs to stop. No mindless snacking: if I want to snack, I need to take prepare the snack, like our moms and grandmothers did for us when we were children. So, let's say I feel like a slice of bread with nutella on it. This is what I would have to do: take out the bio-nutella equivalent and the orange juice and put it on the table together with cutlery, plates and glasses. Take out the bread, toast the bread, put it on a plate. Sit down, serve myself, then put everything back. I am pretty sure that should be too much effort 9/10. Once a week, fast till the 9th hour This is a fasting method I have found where you don't eat anything until 9 hours after you wake up, then break the fast with a light meal, and have a hearty meal later on for dinner. This is to teach myself to be patient with food - part of the snacking issue comes from just not being able to wait until the next meal. This should train it. This is also why I have a calorie range - I should be eating around 1650 calories a day form what I gathered, so going over on certain days will ensure I make up for the deficit I will certainly have on fasting days. So those are my health goals for the physical aspect of my life. Social - Emotional Blogging practice I really want a blog one day. Check in daily into NF Post a daily animation on my Tumblr (here, for those interested, though it's mostly a collection of mind blurbs and some of those are in French) Art - Spiritual Draw I haven't drawn anything in weeks and it's starting to get closer to months Set aside at least 1h per week to draw. Post progress picture. Learn - Mental Finish the edX Nutrition Course Nutrition and Health Part 1: Macronutrients and Overnutrition It's excellent, approaches the whole question of nutrition from a biological and medical standpoint while being very honest about the limitations of research. It anybody has the time to audit it or wish to get a certificate, they will re-run it this month. I have been on and off it for months, no thanks to the "self-paced" format. I really, really want to wrap it up over the next couple weeks and move on to Part 2. Work on the assignments of the course at least 4 hrs every week. That is it. I think you can see how this works - there is a "main area" for development, and then small goals for all the rest. They rotate. Side Quest: Monkey Level 2. I have not forgotten, no. ^^

“Hi I’m Xantall Farwood and I like the Backstreet Boys and wolves.†Ugh I will never live that down from high school. I hated days like that when you had a sub, a new student or just a new teacher. They always made you say your name and say two things you like. I hated talking about myself I never knew what to say that won’t be miss interrupted so I just said something stupid and simple. And then the laughs would start so I would skip my next period (or find a way out of that one) and end up in the weight/mat room (went there a lot more than that). I would spend the next hour working out (well more like 45 minutes but an hour sounds better in the story). After school I would go to practice tennis (fall), basketball (winter starting line up for three seasons), track and field (spring placed every time). I walked a mile to the bus stop in the morning, every morning! Yet despite all of this I was fat. No I didn’t have a little muffin top. I had a spare tire from a Mac Truck! I didn’t gain anymore but I couldn’t lose it. The problem? I never actually ate much but I drank sooooooooo*inhales* ooooooooo much soda. Actually there is a bigger problem that I still have. Because I’m fat I don’t like people to see me eating. It’s in my head that because I’m fat people think the way my family did/does that I shouldn’t be eating. It’s messed up and I know it’s not true but it’s so ingrained it’s hard to fight it. Anyways I went to a nutritionist for help, thinking being told how to work this (food exercise balance) by a professional would help me figure it out. She had me do a week diary of what I ate and did. I was in tennis at the so that meant two to three hour practices after school! Not to mention my gym class and my weight room time. Yeah that was a bust. She looked me dead in the eye and said “eat less exercise moreâ€. Seriously! Seriously! That is the professional opinion I paid for. I probably got more exercise than her lazy butt! So besides that and my mom trying to bribe me to lose weight but never actually helping I abandoned the idea. I knew if I did find a way it would be a long lonely walk with no help from anyone. I found myself letting that bleed into the rest of my life. “Leave me alone.†“No I said don’t come near me.†“Gods, do you people even understand english?†“You got a problem with me!†“Don’t F****** talk to me!†The words of my defense. People became my enemy and nothing was safe. I fell deeper and deeper into my own darkness, my hate because in my head no one liked me, no one really wanted to help me they just wanted something. I was an embarrassment to my family because I was fat so they wanted me thinner to fit in. The doctors only wanted money and never to actually help. My coaches didn’t say much as long as I left my snapping off the court or directed it away from my teammates. Three years of isolation later in eleventh grade I met a boy, Borellean Keayo. There was something between us instantly. Not like that he’s gayer than a three dollar bill. I was alone playing my Pokémon Silver on my original Gameboy in the back of shop. He came over and stood there right in front of me looking at me. I don’t know how long it was before I finally looked up at him glaring. He asked me “Do you wanna trade Pokémon?†while holding up his GBA. He had Gold. I swear this is no damn joke. Those were literally the first words this kid ever spoke to me. I looked at him confused for a moment. People avoided me and when one would dare to come to close I snapped but he didn’t and I didn’t. I just said “Sure.†And shoved the chair I was using for my feet out for him. I actually made a friend in high school over Pokémon. Go figure, right? So we started hanging out he didn’t care that I was fat. He said if I can do the things I like then who care what you weigh. We became best friends and still are today. The hate I had for myself and others never really went away it just became …manageable. I still keep something between me and the rest of the world. I was able to make nice and be “friends†with some people yet none were like Borellean. I was reserved and quite with the others, untrusting. I kept to my old habits. Borellean would have none of that for years he’s pushed me to do better to stop being an NPC in my own life. I needed to turn into the Hero. I shrugged it off and let my life slip. I’ve always wanted to be a writer but have been too afraid to really show it to anyone (I’m just an anonymous faceless writer on the net). I’ve tried before to make the change but my heart I guess was never in it. I was missing. About three weeks ago I was feeling really down on myself because I had come to the idea that I would have to take life alone forever so I text Borellean (he doesn’t live close any more but I visit now and again) Hey What’s up? I have a weird question. Ya don’t need to answer if ya don’t want to. What? Do you think I’m pretty? (He didn’t answer for a few minutes. I didn’t know what to think. How hard was it to say yes or no? Then my phone went off.) Yeah. You have let yourself go a bit because you don’t see it so you don’t try to maintain it but it’s definitely there. When you catch me staring at you is when I see it. I’m 28 years old now. I work a dead end job, have few friends, never had a boyfriend and I’m not doing the things I love. I’m not trying to sell you a sob story but if I’m going to write daily to you out there you need to know me. I’ve come to realize that I need to see that in me, that thing he can see. Something that helps me balance and make the world easier to deal with like it is when Borellean and I are hanging out. So three weeks ago (about an hour after his text) I delved farther in than I have before into understanding how to fix what I left to degenerate. I dove in like I was studying for school. Focusing and trying to understand the complicated mess that has become “healthâ€. Yet along with that I would need to find me. I haven’t gotten that far. I think the Farwood I has ran away when I shut down. She’s back in the recesses of my mind chasing wolves and listening to backstreet boys. I want to find my way back there.