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Hello! Today I woke up after a terrible night of sleep and I felt sick and tired but I was planning on going for a swim and lifting so I went to the gym anyways. I ended up walking on the treadmill for like 20 minutes because I was too tired to do anything else and I had a really hard leg workout yesterday so everytime I tried to run I would just burn out after like 20 seconds. I always feel so guilty whenever I miss a workout and I spend the whole day feeling like a fat ass and a loser. On my rest days I always feel guilty for eating and I don't know how many calories or carbs or fats I need. I haven't taken a day completely off since January ( I have taken rest days for either lifting or cardio but never from both) yet somehow I still feel like I am lazy and all my gains will be lost. I am supposed to be putting on weight anyways because I had an eating disorder and I now weigh 110-112 pounds at 5'8" but I worry after skipping a day I will just put on a ton of fat. I just don't know how to eat on my rest days or what to do to calm my brain. Any suggestions?