Search the Community

Next week another movie about my life comes out. I like the guy playing me, he's a handsome chap. And is he built or what? My red and blue suit mocks me from the back of the closet, reminding me of a healthier time in my life. I may be getting old (82 last I checked), but if you believe a man can fly, then I believe I can still get back in shape. I have a world to save, whether by journalist's pen or warrior's fist. Lo, as I call her, is getting tired of me sitting on the couch watching reruns of my great deeds. She asks me what I stand for anymore. The truth is I stand for the McDonald's line, and that's only because they do not provide chairs. My goal is to fit back into my suit by October 2016. I'll have a new goal by then, probably involving Wonder Woman and Catwoman, but let's stay simple for now. S.M.A.R.T. Goals: reduce sugary drinks to 3 per week (including fruit juice)increase vegetable servings to 4 per weekdecrease refined carbs to 3 servings a week (white pasta, white bread, sugary cereal)Walk my staircase 3 times a week for 14 minutesComplete the Nerd Fitnessâ„¢ Beginner Bodyweight Workout 3 times per weekComplete 15 consecutive pushups