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  1. iatetheyeti

    iatetheyeti: letting go

    I learned a lot last challenge, and not all of it was good. The goal I've had for over fifteen years, the one of being 'fixed', of being free of mental illness, is more likely than not something that I will never see accomplished. More than that, at the moment it's a desperate and damaging dream that's been causing me more harm than good to hold on to. So I need to let go. There are more important things to focus on, things more realistically achievable, things that will be good for me mentally and physically, and hey, maybe even spiritually. And to work towards those things, I need to let go of that mouldering old comfort blanket that really isn't a comfort blanket at all, more like an anchor. I need to stop letting that block my progress before I can even start. It might sound like a dour note to start out on, but for me even just typing that out was surprisingly freeing. Any big picture, major kind of goals will have to wait though. Right now I'm still picking up the pieces of my latest rough patch and learning how to function again. Last time around I feel I made a good start, all things considered, and now I need to try and move things alone. So that's what this is, another little step towards being a functional, slightly healthier person. Walk: Last time around I was extremely loose with the rules about this, and while it did work after a fashion, it also allowed for laziness to seep in. This time around I'm trying to prevent that and keep things enjoyable for myself. Daily Minimum twenty minutes If sticking to the minimum, find a hill or some stairs Run: I don't like running, I'll admit, but I have a Spartan Sprint in September (the week after this challenge is over), so I need to pick up running again for just a little while in order to get through that. I'm not aiming for a good time, nor am I trying to get injured before I even get a chance to race, so I'm playing as safe as I feel I can get away with. Twice weekly 3km minimum Longer or more often is fine ONLY IF I feel able Yoga: Upping the frequency this time around, and adding some variation to keep things interesting. I've collected a handful of short routines that I enjoy to do just that. Not that I find my never ending battle to successfully do pigeon pose uninteresting, but still... Daily (morning if possible) On days off work string together two or more routines On running days add in some mobility work Hydration: Going from 2L to 3L daily. I think 2L is just fine for normal day to day life, for me anyway, but it is inadequate for the back to back heatwaves we're experiencing. Food: Time to cut out the junk and weather the storm of sugar withdrawal. No fizzy drinks, no cake, no chocolate, no sweets, nothing like that at all. Fact is, most of the time I get no particular enjoyment about consuming those things, in fact I often feel fairly awful because of the lactose content of said junk food. And whenever I've cut it out before, I've felt better. So I'm going cold turkey. No exceptions will be made as I don't trust myself to moderate properly. Meditation: Given the good it did me last time, it'd be just plain stupid not to include a meditation goal to try and keep up the habit. Daily Anything goes But maybe read a couple of meditation books anyway Record the results ======= Unofficial Zero Week Goals: Get the flat tidy again. Make preparations for the official start of the challenge (ensure I have enough bottled water for work, designate running days etc). Clear the donate/dump/sell pile sitting in my living room. ======= And that's it. A little step up from before, simple enough that I won't get tangled up and let things slip away completely when things get difficult. Because things will get difficult, that's just life, and I intend to carry on anyway.