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Found 5 results

  1. Some days are difficult, everything is a fight and no win feels like a victory. Some days are easy, everything flows and smiling is no effort. Some days are empty, I don’t know where those ones go or how time manages to melt into the abyss unnoticed. Some days are full, a frantic maelstrom of stuff and things that don’t mean anything alone but add up to exhaustion together. And some days don’t pass at all, they linger in awful silence, stretching across weeks until the clouds finally move on and emotions creep back in. Healing is not an easy or linear process, it’s an active process that requires an unearthly amount of work and the threshold for a good day varies wildly. Overall, it’s not entirely surprising that I’m getting my ass thoroughly kicked by my mental health right now. Which why it’s time to start a new chapter and put the focus where it belongs. There are three general areas that need watching. The first, and most important, is self care. Everything from getting out of bed before 3pm to treating myself when need be to remembering to write down any appointments I need to keep. Anything and everything I do to ensure I’m a functional person, and maybe even a happy or comfortable person from time to time. The second is food. There has been a slow improvement here, but as with the recovery process as a whole, it has not been linear. The third and final is fitness. I’ve taken a step back from just about everything out of necessity. Anything that could possibly become something competitive has had to go as the sheer negative impact it had on my mindset was overwhelmingly… not good, to put it mildly. What I don’t want, however, is to have my fitness stagnate and vanish entirely. So I’m figuring that out also. None of this is really about chasing a goal or achievement, it’s more like a restoration of self. So we’ll see how it all goes.
  2. annyshay

    Annyshay Writes Like the Wind

    Hello nerds! I'm annyshay! Here are my goals for the next 6 weeks... Pass my boards Win NaNoWriMo Go Deeper with Health Coaching There's been a lot of upheaval in my life in the recent past from moving across country to the death of my Grandpa to a lot of traveling, but things are starting to mellow out just in time for... my boards and NaNoWriMo. Hehe. That's right, within the span of this challenge, I will be taking two sets of medical boards and trying to write 50,000 words in one month. So, I want to try to lean on my community here a little bit harder instead of just phoning in my updates. So, I have overarching goals and will give narrative reports within those about what's going on for me at the moment. I hope to continue to post consistently and wander among other nerds threads a bit more than I have been doing lately. We'll see how it goes, and everything is open to tweaking as necessary to help support my goals. Sound good? Let's do this thing!
  3. iatetheyeti

    iatetheyeti: push and pull

    It often seems like we have to fight for everything we get in life, and once we have it, something tries to take it away. Not that that’s always a bad thing, sometimes what we have is less than we deserve, dangerous, perhaps, or maybe something we’re better off leaving behind but have become attached to instead. But it isn’t personal. Chances are there isn’t any kind of something doing any kind of taking. It’s just a thing that happens. We assign meaning to it all by ourselves. I used to believe that everything happened for a reason, that the bad was always a lesson and the good was always a reward. I don’t believe that anymore. There’s a constant rhythm of pushing and pulling, a dance played out across nature conducted by an indifferent universe. Things happen because they happen, because that is the nature of life. It’s up to us what we make of it. It’s up to us what we do with it. I had this challenge all planned out and ready to go, and then the universe pulled. Now I have the threat of homelessness hanging above my head on top of everything else. And maybe this is something that will get resolved tomorrow, maybe my landlady will decide not to sell the flat after all, but until I know one way or the other I have to prepare myself for the worst outcome. But that is not the same as letting fear and anxiety rule my life. Right now it’s a waiting game. At some point I will get an answer and I either get the immense relief and embarrassment that comes with overreacting to something, or I get the information I need to make the appropriate arrangements. After all, even if it does come to the worst, it won’t be a permanent thing. Really, it means carrying on doing the best I can, striving to keep the little trickle of progress going. That was going to be the whole premise of this challenge anyway, but with the focus on the oncoming winter and how that usually leeches both happiness and drive away from me. This latest situation is just the latest pull, but I will keep pushing myself forward regardless. I’m not ready to give up just yet. These aren’t SMART goals, but they are adaptable ones and not too different from the direction I was originally going in. If the worst comes to the worst, I can continue on with the majority of these. If things turn out for the better, I can build on them and take the steps I originally wanted to. Goal One: Food After undeniably massive success with cutting out sugary junk, I’m taking the next step along to improving my diet. Sugar watch - Chocolate almond milk is allowed when I feel the need for the world’s cheapest mocha, plus a weekly non-dairy treat. But only if I feel like it, it’s not an essential, nor is it a reward. Veggies - The current NHS RDA is 5-10 portions of veg a day. I thought that was a lot until I found out that a portion is 80g. Regardless, I will have five portions minimum daily. Goal Two: Movement It turns out that daily walks are not always doable for me, but exercising whilst not leaving the flat is far more agreeable when I’m in a low mood. Therefore I will be capitalising on that (but if I can walk, I will walk). Yoga - I’m keeping the short daily sessions and adding in two extended sessions weekly. Either I’ll follow an NF yoga video or I’ll string together several short sessions to make something longer. No strict guidelines here, just as long as it happens. Mobility - Wrist mobility exercises three times weekly. I have truly awful wrist mobility and it makes so many things more difficult than they need to be, for example I actually cannot do push-ups with my hands flat on the floor, my wrists just do not bend that far yet. Primal movement - Something else to help my sub-par mobility. To begin with I’ll be focusing on two things. First, the simple squat. That’s something I’m going to incorporate at work. Whenever I need to spend time reducing/stocking the lowest shelves, I will settle myself into a squat rather than subject myself to knee pain by kneeling. Second will be the just as simple dead hang. At the end of every day I’ll spend a little time hanging off of my pull-up bar, not until failure, but until near failure. No time limit yet. I'm also not ruling out doing bear crawl/duck walk laps of my flat when I've been sitting still for too long... Goal Three: Recovery I think this could also be called self-defence right now, I’m working on protecting me from myself… Meditation - Continue the daily habit, but also branch out, try new techniques and do more reading on the subject. People - The worse my anxiety and depression get, the more I want to pull back and isolate despite knowing that that only does more damage. I do need to balance this, however, as too much will overwhelm me fast. So I’m going to commit to being more active within the Druids and check in with other people on a weekly basis at the very least. Positivity - A lot of what I have written is heavily flavoured by my current negative mood. I do not want that to become the norm. At all. I want to be able to find the positives, to speak about them, to live them. So I will. I will make an effort to put at least one positive in every update, no matter how small it may seem. And that is that. Fortunately I’ve got the whole of zero week off of work, and I fully intend to spend it calming myself down and allowing myself to relax. All going well, I’ll get the answers I need before the week is up and at the very least that will remove the anxiety caused by waiting and not knowing. For the rest of zero week I will make the effort to check in daily.
  4. iatetheyeti

    iatetheyeti: metanoia

    metanoia (n.) the journey of changing one’s mind, heart, self, or way of life Or all of the above. It’s another step along the way to become the person I want to be, the kind of person I know I can be, if I give myself a chance and enough support to grow. A large chunk of this journey has been moved to my battle log as it’s more a day-to-day, goalless kind of thing. Though that does technically mean I have to find myself some goals for these challenges. Like so: Goal One: The Pistol I used to be able to do pistol squats. Only a couple on each side, but still… My progress in that area has reversed drastically over the years. I can just about wobble to the ground on each leg, but it is a very shaky wobble and I cannot rise up on either leg without ending up on the floor. As far as I recall, I managed to figure out pistols the first time around through brute force and ignorance. There will be a fair amount of that this time around, but there will also be some specific mobility and balance work. I can do this, I just need to help my body remember how. Aim: Do a whole pistol squat on at least one leg (more likely to be the right leg) by the end of the challenge (ambitious, not the end of the world if it doesn’t happen, but I’m determined to make sure it does!) Goal Two: Downward Facing Dog My heels do not now, nor have they ever, touched the ground in the downward facing dog pose. All signs point to my not-so-great mobility and general lack of flexibility. This is where the specific mobility work mentioned in the first goal comes in, and I’m hoping that since there are two outcomes resting on it that it will encourage me to actually get it done properly. Aim: Three times weekly leg mobility practice Goal Three: Vegetables Seriously. I am not getting enough in and it has a noticeable impact on my insides and my energy levels. This is basically a repeat of my food goal last challenge. Aim: Five to ten portions of vegetables daily Side Project: Guitar Something to force me to have some fun, even on the days I feel like crap. I can kind of play guitar. Very badly. I’ve wanted to improve for ages but have never actually made it a priority. Until now. I’m committing to ten minutes a day, five days a week minimum. Doesn’t matter what I’m doing so long as I’m playing for ten minutes. And that’s that. Keeping it simple goals-wise in an effort to help myself actually stick to things (as well as continuing the things I’ve tried to incorporate into my life already), especially when life gets rough and the stress climbs higher. I’m going to also aim for five small updates per week to try and keep me a little more social and connected.
  5. Aquarii

    Aquarii - Control

    I am back for another round with the Rangers. A little late to the party...but at least here, nonetheless. My last challenge kind of fell apart and went in a lot of different directions, but eventually evolved into a journey of self-reflection and discovery. I became a lot more aware of what I really wanted to prioritize and, perhaps more importantly, how that differed from how I actually spend my time every day. So my goal for this challenge is to start implementing that in a realistic manner. As much as I want to have a fiery intro to this challenge, as much as I want that inspirational "I am changing my entire life, right here, right now," as much as I want to just crash head first into this challenge with crazy goals...we are keeping it simple. This challenge is not going to focus on moving forward. This challenge is going to focus on rebuilding a foundation that will allow me to move forward in the future. Mental health has never been my strong suit. I am fairly good at a lot of things, but maintaining a healthy mental state is not one of those things. There are times where I do better with managing my issues, and times where I don't. This year has been a gradual decent into not really managing it well at all. And there are plenty of reasons for that, but regardless of those reasons, it is my responsibility to take care of myself and work to get back on track. No one else can do that for me. Lately, my mental health, and the escapism that accompanies it, has probably been the biggest obstacle for achieving my goals. Not only has it hampered my goals moving forward, but I have let it lapse to the point of affecting my physical health. So, getting back on top of habits that support managing my mental health is going to be a primary goal for this challenge. And that brings me to control. I am a person who feels a desperate need for control, and my worst choices are usually during times when I feel like I don't have control of my life (like right now, yay). Now, some of that is healthy (I think it is good for people to want to live intentionally and take the initiative to do what they want and what matters), and some of that is unhealthy (feeling anxious or depressed when you can't control everything). My goal for this challenge is to focus on building habits that give me a better sense of control in areas that I have control over, and learning to cope better with situations that I cannot control (instead of reverting to bad coping mechanisms and escapism). Control Goals: Control My Environment: Spend 5-10 minutes tidying each day Set Boundaries for My Health: Get to bed by midnight Control My Movement: 5-10 minutes of yoga or stretching each day Schedule for Food: ~ 16/8 Intermittent Fasting (11a-7p or 12p-8p depending on the day) Coping Goals: Learn/Self-Discover: Start working through CBT workbook for 15 min at least 3x a week Dance it Off: Continue attending new Hip Hop and Music Theater Dance classes Push Myself to do Uncomfortable Things: Run at least 2x per week in prep for first 5k in November (I have always been very bad at running and feel way out of my depth) EDIT: Oh! For those of you who don't know me, Hi! I am Aquarii. Ummmm, not really relevant facts include: I am 25, 5'10", left-handed, INTJ, questionably human. SECOND EDIT: Added IF to goals