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  1. Hey Nerds! My name is Skullz B Kraken and I'm a crazy cat lady who loves pirates, cheese, Morrowind, Stardew Valley, and all things Halloween. I stumbled across NF last week by googling "Workouts for people who have no idea how to work out." I was the goth kid in high school who hated gym class and the college kid who went to murder mysteries put on by the campus librarian, rather than partying at the frat house. As a kid and all the way into my mid-twenties, I was tiny... size 0, turn sideways and disappear kind of tiny, all without trying. That being said, when it all went down-hill in my late 20s (I'm 30 now), and I had absolutely no idea how to eat healthy and create effective and sustainable workout plans. After college I moved to our beautiful capitol city and joined the local roller derby league. "But Skullz," you say, "You play a sport. Surely you're fit and healthy!" NOPE. One: I've been on hiatus for a while due to a car accident, followed by a pregnancy, followed by a baby. And two: I've always been the weakling on my team. Once the plague is over (will it ever be over?) I'm hoping to start back up, but first I need to love myself. Cheesy, I know. But I hate who I see when I look in the mirror. I've read all sorts of stupid so-called fitness blogs with "10 ways to loose 1,270 pounds in 5 seconds" or whatever, but all of these blogs just ended up collecting dust in my Pinterest board. My goal is to make a HABIT of eating nutritious food, cutting back on sugar, and not overeating. I would also like to create easy-to-follow workout routines that include strength training. I struggle with the nutrition part because I'm a vegetarian. "But Skullz," you say, "You're a vegetarian. You just eat vegetables. You must be so healthy!" HA! I live on carbs. Diets that just have you eat veggies and meat don't work for me. Any tips in that area? Long story short: I'm an exhausted mom of a 14 month old, I work full time, and I have no idea how to work out or eat healthy. (I'm also extremely impulsive and have no self-control. 😬mmm donuts. *drool*) For funziez, here are some of me on wheels, pictures of my cats, and my pirate wedding.