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I hit a breaking point last challenge. I've been pushing myself too hard and keeping myself stuck to too strict of an ideal. On top of that, my mood was taking a nosedive and I wasn't coping well with my challenge goals or with life. I backed off a lot and had to spend some time evaluating what I need for my sanity and what my goals really are. If I keep pushing too hard, I'll break. But not pushing hard enough gives me anxiety about losing ground. This challenge focuses on balancing the goals for the success of my future self and the sanity of my current self. I have always struggled with balance and have had numerous challenges devoted to it. And here I am again. But now the balancing act is between the perfectionist, overachieving part of me (future self) competing against the sane, living in reality part of me (current self). [Disclaimer: this does not and should not imply that I am actually sane.] And the Battle of Wits has Begun... But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. Don't be a Fool. Eat Right Eating the right foods is still 80% of the battle. If I could just manage this part I wouldn't have to worry so much about losing ground. I need to be strict enough keep from gaining fat and also to keep from feeling like crap. But I need to have some wiggle room to enjoy what I'm eating and be able to make changes based on my body and my what's going on in my life. My varying daily calorie goals really work but not necessarily on a strict schedule. In an effort to make this a SMART goal, here are some guidelines: Food is Fuel, not comfort - make healthy choices Food should still be enjoyable Aim for the varying daily calorie goals but allow for a range of 1450-1650 calories daily, 1800-1900 on weekend Weekly average should be in the low 1600's You’ve made your decision then? Not remotely. Because Iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. Be Honest. What is Your Goal and Your Why? During the last challenge, after backing off of my goals, I took the time to evaluate what I was doing and what my goals were. I was doing things for the sake of the goals and losing sight of the Big Why. Once I stopped paying so much attention to my goals, I found that I still did many of the same things because I wanted to do them or because they would help me reach my mail goals. This made the same activities much more enjoyable. I don't want to do things anymore because I have to. Even things I don't want to do I am doing for a reason. I may not want to go to the gym some days, but I am more likely to get satisfaction from going anyway because I deserve to be strong AF than if I go because I made it a goal and now I just have to suck it up and do it. Keeping in touch with the goals and the why will help me make good choices most of the time and also keep me from getting too stressed about the times that I don't make good choices. Main Goal: Achieve goal weight status (around 160-180 pounds) and be strong and agile. Mini Main Goal: Arrive at the Elusive Onederland Big Why: Losing the weight I have lost so far has given me freedom. Freedom to do things I once thought impossible, the freedom to comprehend that I can do anything I really set my mind to, and the freedom to test my bounds. I do not want to lose any of this freedom. I need to at least maintain the weight loss. I also want to set a good example for my daughter. She is at a very crucial stage where I can no longer dictate exactly what she does. Too much pressure will cause her to push against what I want for her. I need to set the example so that she can have the tools to start her life in a better place than me. It also pays to remember that part of setting a good example is to teach her how to fail and get back up and that success does not mean being perfect. Truly, you have a dizzying intellect. Wait til I get going! Where was I? Australia. Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. Stop and Think. Don't just do what's in front of you. (aka Self Care) I have a tendency to keep mental lists of things that need to get done and then I go on autopilot and keep doing things on the list. Such and such has to get done on this day or it messes up my entire schedule. I do this until it's the end of the day and I'm tired and just want to escape to my room and recharge alone. I am learning to take cues from my mood and take a break when I need to. Sometimes my future self needs to let some things go so that my present self can, well, be present. By being more intentional with my time, I can recharge before it's a dire need and I can be more present and do fun things with family. I have found recently that by doing this I might actually get more stuff done. This aspect of the challenge can manifest in many ways and is my no means a SMART goal. But here are some guidelines: expect less be flexible get enough rest be mindful allow for more downtime You’re just stalling now. You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you?! You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. Be Strong and Active Taking breaks for myself is fine, but I still need to stay active. The trick is balancing these. This was really tough over the last couple challenges where I was adding activities to my goals with the right intentions but because I HAD to do them, I was starting to resent those activities. I want to focus on activities that not only aim towards my future self’s goals but also ones my present self can enjoy. Since changing my outlook on this I have started rucking again and enjoying it. Guidelines for this goal: Do something active daily Lift 2-3 days a week Anything counts - walking, rucking, yoga, GTG, Shovelglove. Just pick something that matches energy levels and time. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. There's more to future success than just being strong. Be Productive Too. I worked on this a lot earlier this year and finally found a system that works for me. I’ve gotten away from using the system. Plus my dark moods has made it more difficult to get stuff done. In order to make it easier to get myself going, I need to at least make the weekly list. When I did this before I would choose any 3 things from the list daily to accomplish. This time I need to do at least 1 thing. I have found that recently, the more lenient I am with my expectations, combined with allowing myself more free time, I am actually getting more done. But it starts with a list. You’re trying to trick me into giving something away. It won’t work. It has worked. You’ve given everything away. I know where the poison is! Then make your choice. I will, and I choose…. What in the world could that be?

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