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  1. So this year ended with the most difficult life situation I have ever experienced. My SO and I experienced a loss that has no words, and this is my best effort to move through the feelings I am dealing with while also trying to look ahead. This week has strictly been about physically resting, doc and boyfriends orders. The SO even came home a couple hours after getting to work on Tuesday to make sure I sat on my ass, which I am terrible at, but I realized my current limitation and am taking them seriously. The plan is to move back into things slowly, starting with walking every day next week near the house. This may just be 10 min at first, it all depends on if I feel weak or not since I really don't know how my body is going to react. After Wednesday I will be re-assessing the situation and adding/subtracting based on how my body does. Weekly Overview: Monday - Made it home from the hospital, still very week from blood loss and cold is still bad. Tuesday - Quite weak, taking out the trash increased heart rate substantially, sat on my ass afterwards like I should have, cold is still kicking my ass as well. Slept in until around 7/7:30 am, had several grief episodes throughout the day, some quite intense. Wednesday - Cried a lot when I woke up, but talked with friends/family and literally cried on the SO's shoulder when he got home from work and felt a bit better. Slept in again until about 7:30, got a few small things done around the house but still winded/light headed if I get up too quickly or move around too much in one sitting. Cold is getting better, and I'm not as sore overall. Thursday - Cold is finally subsiding, and it's the last day of my antibiotics. Only took cold medicine before bed, and pain meds twice today. Still a bit lightheaded when I get up too quickly but I was able to put up the Christmas lights on the front of the house. I stayed in bed very late this morning, getting up around 8:30 am, and laid down when I planned to go to the store and cried. Didn't make it to the store like I was supposed to. Starting to have thoughts on a career change/other bigger life changes. I know some of this is comes with trauma so I am going to sit on these for a while at least before I really start acting on anything. Today (Friday) - Cold is almost gone, still stuffed up with a bit of a dry feeling in my throat/cough. Tonsils are not nearly as swollen from the anesthesia which is helping as well, but still on anti inflammatory (and Popsicle's) /pain meds to help with that and my other pain. Got up right away this morning (6:00 am). Teared up when I woke up again, the mornings and when I am not busy seem to be the worst times for this. Going to hit up the grocery store today and do a bit more light cleaning. I put on my fitbit for the first time since this whole thing started, going to start tracking my heart rate more closely. Weighed in at 180.8 this morning as well.