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  1. (…because almost everything I do has a "the 13th" in it.) TL;DR version at the bottom. And so, after many months of travelling through the wilderness and scaling the Mountain of False Complacency, the 13th disciple arrived at the entrance to the Dojo of the Rebellion[1]. Like a child about to enter an amusement park, the 13th disciple's eyes widened as he laid hands on the massive gate that decorated the entrance to the dojo. Beyond the gate, he could see the hordes of veteran Nerd Fitness disciples training, most of them bearing the NF insignia on their clothing. The 13th disciple stood there for a while watching the veterans, growing more and more nervous by the minute. Someone was bound to initiate contact with him soon, and then he would see whether they'd accept him into their ranks. "Hello there, young lad. What brings you here?" The 13th disciple turned around to the direction of the voice, and froze in place. Talking to him was none other than the great Grandmaster Spezzy[2]. The 13th disciple continued staring at her for a few moments, dumbstruck (and much to his own embarrassment), then he dropped down to his knees and bowed to her. "Grandmaster, it is an honor to meet you! I am M, the 13th disciple. I hail from the far east[3], and I am eager to learn the Ways of the Rebellion![4] Please accept me as your disciple!", he pleaded. "Don't! He's far from ready yet!", another voice shouted from nowhere. The 13th disciple looked up and, to his horror, realized his mom was standing right next to Grandmaster Spezzy. "Mom! What are you doing here?!" "Quiet, kid!", the 13th disciple's mom answered. "You're nowhere near ready to be training with the NF veterans! Just look at yourself! All skin and bones, and nothing else! Why, do you even eat enough, my boy? 3 square meals a day!" "I—I—" "Aha! So you're still watching TV and reading and browsing while eating, aren't you? No wonder you're not getting quality food into your system! Son, I forbid you to work, play, watch TV, read, or browse, or anything else while you're eating! No exceptions!" "Wha—?" "Spezzy, I expect you'll make sure that he eats his 3 meals a day without any distractions, right?" "Of course, ma'am.", Grandmaster Spezzy assured the 13th disciple's mom. "Splendid.", the 13th disciple's mom answered. "Don't hesitate to, I dunno, give him a kick in the butt or something." "Mom! :-(", the 13th disciple exclaimed, exasperated.[5] "And your complexion…", his mom started, looking back at him. "Son, you look really pale. Have you been sleeping enough, my boy? Nah, I doubt it. Then I hereby order you to get enough sleep." Turning back to Spezzy, the 13th disciple's mom asked, "Spezzy, I trust that you'll make sure it's lights out by midnight? And that you'll kick him out of bed by 9am?" "Certainly, ma'am." Grandmaster Spezzy assured the 13th disciple's mom once again, while the 13th disciple himself stared disbelievingly at both of them. "My my, what have we here?", another familiar voice asked. As if the situation weren't already stressful enough, suddenly, out of nowhere, the 13th disciple's sifu[2] appeared. "The 13th disciple, I can't believe that you think you're ready to join the NF veterans! You haven't even been regularly attending to your own training! Why, until you get back into training your own martial arts for 4 days a week, you can't hope to keep up with them. Have you been attending training for 4 days a week? Have you?" He too, turning to Grandmaster Spezzy, told her, "I'm not going to let you have him before he isn't back in shape, training for 4 days a week at least!" "I wouldn't have it any other way.", Grandmaster Spezzy answered him. "Not so fast, kid!", yet another voice echoed. The 13th disciple, too tired to to be truly surprised, looked back at his university professor[2], who had just arrived on scene. "You still have to finish that Master's Thesis I asked you to send in months ago! Why have I not seen anything yet? You promised me an outstanding thesis! I expect it on my desk by September 1st!" Turning to Grandmaster Spezzy, the Professor said "I don't care about all this diet and fitness and health stuff, I just want that thesis done!" "Don't worry, Professor," Grandmaster Spezzy assured her. "I'll see to it. Diet and fitness and health isn't the only thing we teach; we do offer guidance in life goals as well." Turning to the 13th disciple, the Grandmaster finally declared: "The 13th disciple, I have now seen the work you still have to do before I can teach you the Way of the Rebellion. If you still wish to learn the Way, then I order you to fulfill the tasks given to you by the three wise men (two of which are women, btw) and return to me in 6 weeks. Fear not, for there are many others who have yet to fulfill tasks before I can teach them the Way. You shall go seek them, and help them in whatever way you can, so that they may then help you. You are also to wear this special hat, so that other seekers of the Way can find you and you can find them. I shall engrave your personal mantra onto the hat. When anyone asks you 'What is your quest?' or 'What is your main mission?', you are to stand tall and proclaim the words engraved on your hat." And with that, out of thin air, Grandmaster Spezzy pulled out a large conical paper hat, scribbled something onto the back, and handed it to the 13th disciple. The 13th disciple looked at the hat in disbelief. On the front side, printed in a colorful and comical font, were the words "NF Nooblet (Lvl 1 Rebel)", with two smiley faces in the o's of "Nooblet". On the back side, scribbled with a cheap pencil, were the words "What is your quest? To be consistent." "See you in six weeks.", Grandmaster Spezzy said, and pressed a button. At once, the floor beneath the 13th disciple gave way, and he fell along a deep chute. A minute or two of agony later, and he resurfaced at the bottom of the Mountain of False Complacency and landed in a giant haystack, not unlike the ones in the Assassin's Creed video game series. Lying there in the hay, still not sure he had understood what just happened, the 13th disciple looked toward the sky. "What the bloody hell just happened?!" [1]: "Dojo of the Rebellion" may or may not be a trademark of Steve. Uh… use at your own risk…? [2]: Apologies to the people portrayed here, for all of these tasks I'm coming up with are really my own, not forced on me by any of you. But I figure it makes the story more fun if I give you more active roles. [3]: Assuming that the Dojo of the Rebellion is located somewhere in the United States, then, since I start in Europe, and since "somewhat far east" doesn't quite have the right ring to it: "far east" it is. [4]: This may be another trademark. See [1]. [5]: Yes, the 13th disciple literally said "mom sad smiley emoticon". TL;DR version of the above My Quest: Consistency (…because I can do the 3 items below, but I never follow through.) Specifically: Eat properly. Eat 3 meals a day, without any distractions (TV, books, etc).Sleep well. Lights out by midnight, and out of bed by 9am.Train regularly. Attend martial arts training 4 times a week.Other life goal: Write a damn fine Master's thesis. It's due by Sept. 1st, and it'd better be damn fine.Success Criteria I have eaten my meal without any ongoing distractions, such as TV, reading, etc. Rule of thumb: I'm finished eating within 40 minutes.I have shut down all of my work and play by midnight. I only have to change into pj's/brush teeth/etc. before crawling into bed.I am already awake by 9am, or my alarm rang at 9am and I am awake by 9.10am.I have attended martial arts classes on 4 days per week. Rule of thumb: I attended classes on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday.(Thesis) Rule of thumb: I'm proud to show my Master's thesis to other people, even non-mathematicians.
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