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  1. Back to School I am going back to work after four months off on furlough and I have spent it in quite the same way as I used to spend summers off school when I was a kid only I have replaced the C64, NES, Sega Mega Drive and PlayStation with the XboxOne because it appears nothing ever changes, just the console. So I am going to think about this challenge as if it were September and I was being thrust back into forced education. New pencil case, new me! In this challenge I am going to retake my GCSEs (standard, secondary school tests in England that you take aged 16) and see if I can beat my actual GCSE results which were actually pretty good but this was before I discovered boys and dancing the night away in rock clubs. Also my mom was letting me go to Reading Festival if I did well and was I going to let my grades stand in the way of me and System of a Down and Fun Lovin’ Criminals? No fucking way. Interestingly, my A Level results (taken aged 18, and after discovering boys and partying) were considerably less good. Including failing psychology. But I didn’t mention that on my application to Uni to study... wait for it... PSYCHOLOGY and I got a first class degree in that whereas if I had declared it they wouldn't even have let me in. So what have we learned, people? Lie, cheat and steal. Wait, no hang on, that’s not the take home from this. Bribe your kids with rock n roll. Yes, that’s the take home. Anyway, I digress. The Subjects (I loved this game!) The Sciences Biology - Focus on nutrition. I shouldn’t have any meals that are utterly devoid of nutrition. Like pepperoni pizza and chicken dippers. Why the fuck wasn’t there a vegetable on that plate I mean really. Bonus points if I post food porn because, and this is a secret so don’t go telling everybody, if I am not posting pictures it’s because it ain’t a thing to brag about. Physics - Cals in/Cals out. Nothing demanded, except everything being tracked. Chemistry - Skin care, or some other cosmetic way of helping me pretend I look better than I actually do. Maths - Financials! Be wise with money with a view to squirreling as much away as possible because I hit my savings goal and then had to spaff some of it on a car which dropped me below my goal and made me sad. Game on. The Humanities English - Reading! I want to hit my goal of 25 books this year yet I am lagging woefully behind. In fact, I haven’t hit my reading target since 2017. FOR SHAME. I would like to finish at least three books this challenge. Which shouldn’t be hard since I am part way through 7. Modern Languages - I caught myself thinking in French the other day. And I noticed I was doing this when I got a bit stuck and then literally thought the sentence “Je ne sais pas comment dire ca en Francais” to myself. I am taking this Frenchception as an indication that something is going well with this, and also that I might need to stop speaking to myself in my head using full sentences because it’s probably above and beyond. History - Finish the main story of Assassin’s Creed Odyssey Geography - 100% everything on the AC Odyssey map. P.E - Fitness testing! I am working my way through the built in programmes on the elliptical and seeing how many infractions I get. Infractions are when I drop below the required RPMs. I tested out of the first one with flying colours so I want to get further through this and see where I am at. I want to do at least one fitness test per week. Baby steps, being back at work is going to knacker the actual fuck out of me. New challenge.... go! White Pony is amongst the best albums ever released. Discuss.