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The Bangingest Things: Deffy’s 2018 Road Map Well hello there, I am Deffy and I am waiting patiently to kick 2018 in the face. 2017 was pretty cool to me, I lost a nice chunk of weight (*cringes at that use of the word “chunk” but leaves it in anyway*) and made plenty of gainz in my primary main objective – getting the best ass in the United Kingdom (no longer excluding Greater London – come fight me Sil). I spent the last 2 months of this year with chronic back pain and greatly reduced mobility and I had to accept that training through it was a very terrible idea and I spent the last few months resting and recuperating, with daily yoga and stretching and hopefully everything will be well for the start of 2018 because I got big plans. I do have a really bad feeling I won’t be ready but I am hoping this is down to a fear rather than anything concrete – and I also hope that in writing that prediction down means it won’t come true because I am superstitious like that and it’s worth a shot. Goal One: Become the Queen of the Butts and Other Things So what does 2018 have in store? Well, I am going to continue working on getting a banging butt because I haven’t been crowned Queen of the Butts yet, but at the same time I realised that perhaps I am committing a great injustice being so blinkered in my goals. I have many bits and pieces that can also be banging. Why stop at the butt? So 2018 is going to be about making everything banging so I can look really great naked which if we’re all honest is a universal goal am I right? This nudity includes looking great without make up on so I am going to focus on skin care, moisturising (and if you’ve followed me before you know I hate that) and hydration levels, along with nutrition and targeted training. STRENGTH I also got really close to the weight at which I was going to treat myself with pole fitness lessons and although I have gained a little of this back being unable to train properly, it’s not too far away and I want to be prepared for this starting. I have terrible upper body strength so I want to build this up. I am buying parallettes and will incorporate these into my training too. Cardio will still be there because I love it, but the focus will be on chiselling my body because this is how banging happens. Daily Habits In 2017 I had a goal to do at least 3x30 minute workout sessions every single week and I got quite far into the year with this streak intact before I was signed off training for medical reasons. I want to make it through the whole of 2018 this time so this is a goal. As is reading 10 pages every day (I have a Goodreads goal of 26 books for 2018 so this will help that) as well as eating 5 portions of freggies every day and drinking 8 glasses of water daily too. Making these habits the minimum means my diet stays fairly clean and I stay active and the rest tends to take care of itself. Futureproofing 2018 is going to be so awesome, I can feel it! New year......... LET’S GO! (but, like, in 2 weeks or something)

Butt Stuff Last year was pretty successful. I inched closer to my goal weight and that's just how I like it, inching towards it feels much less traumatic and a lot less like hard work too. I experienced an upswing in weight after having to take time off training due to injury in the last few months of 2017 but I am ready to kick 2018 in the face. Well, sort of. My back feels bad again for the first time in a couple of weeks but I am not going to let that bring me down and besides, my plans in this challenge should help that. I start of 2018 with my thighs a little thicker than I'd like and not in a Sloth Swole Quads way either but again, all this can be addressed. So my plans for this year are HEOUGE and can be found in my Battle Log. I read the letter I wrote to myself last new years eve and I surpassed my expectations for myself but I had forgotten what they even were which is one of my favourite things about doing this. Hang on, maybe I should explain this - every new years eve I write a letter to myself setting out my hopes and dreams for the year ahead, as well as a summary of the most important things that happened to me over the last year. I seal this and hide it, and I can't open it until the next new years eve. I keep all these letters and they're a novel way of looking back over my life. The most important lesson I learned last year is how small actions every day build up to huge results over time so this is my approach this year too and the first challenge of 2018 is about starting the fire that will burn all year. Goals ahoy! 1. Nourish I do not want to starve myself. I want my body to be strong and powerful and healthy and beautiful like a gazelle's. I want to feed it the good stuff, track everything I eat, eat 5 portions of freggies (fruits and veggies if you're new here), drink 8 glasses of water every single day and enjoy my meals. I don't want to put too much pressure on myself regarding calorie goals (although I do have a ball park figure I aim for but I find not concretely adhering to it works best for me and stops me throwing my toys out of the pram). I will for the most part be doing Pollan Rules which is essentially Don't Eat Like A Dickhead with the addition of glasses of wine. I will take pictures of 6/7 meals a week and post them here, mostly to stop myself face planting pizza every day. Pizza. Mmmm. 2. Surrender my butt to Bret (it's all in the eye contact) I want to be strong. I want to be lean and I want to be a gazelle (I appear to be suddenly obsessed with gazelles huh that's new). I want to do 3 x 30 exercise sessions every single week of 2018, and this will be cardio, strength or yoga - just in case my back continues to give me problems - this cannot be used as an excuse. My main focus will be building the best butt you have ever seen in your life. Like starlight on a moonless night. So magnificent one weeps for the majesty thereof. I am currently reading Strong Curves by Bret Contreras (the architect of that fabulous booty training move Sloth posted on my last challenge which is yet more evidence if we needed it Sloth is psychic) and I am going to put all this into action and trust Bret with my butt. I haven't finished the book yet so I am not 100% sure wtf I am doing but I have faith it will all become clear in the end. I am going to become the Booty Meat Queen, just you watch. 3. Peripherals. I want to read 26 books this year so I want to read 10 pages per day, every single day of 2018. I also want to make my bed every morning because getting into an unmade bed at night makes me really sad. I'm worth more than an unmade bed *hair flicks*. Yeah, 2018 - Deffy's back on her bullshit LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo!

Deffy Goes For Gold Yes I have picked a theme so uniquely British and of the 1980's it is quite possible nobody will get the reference. I think even I am technically too young to remember this, it just has legendary status in my house because as my mom never tires of reminding me, as a 2 year old I was obsessed with Henry Kelly and nobody knows why. But I digress. The aim of this challenge is to amass coinage and earn some good old fitness loot. Doing certain tasks earns me a pitiful amount of money that will add up over time and I can buy myself rewards and fun stuff with the earnings. I have made it so things I am automatically doing (like eating 5 a day, reading my ten pages and drinking approved fluids - things I have an intact streak for all year) aren't worth anything, I have to overachieve in these areas to earn for doing the things. All sums are paid on a daily basis and nothing can carry over (so if I eat 8 portions of freggies one day and 2 the next, I earn nothing each day for that task) Things worth money are: Eating 10 portions of freggies [10p] Drinking 2 litres of water (it has to be water) [5p] Following my skin care routing both morning and night [5p] Each 500 cal deficit in a day (has to be a whole 500, no rounding up) [5p] Each 30 minutes of cardio (again, no rounding up) [5p] A Darebee workout (must be completed on the hardest level for points) [10p] Eating the meals I have scheduled [5p] Applying body lotion (all over or nothing) [5p] Face mask [5p] Yoga session [10p] Stretching properly both pre and post workout [5p] Daily Dare [5p] Completed the weekly to do list (payable once per week) [25p] Stick to monthly budget (payable once per month) [500p] Per unique milestone (5p) But as well as not earning the bonuses for doing the tasks, some of the tasks are worth penalties for not doing them: Exceeding maximum calories (-25p) Per missed task on the to do list (-10p) Not eating the scheduled meal (-10p) Exceeding the monthly budgets, even by a penny (-750 points) I also have a section on my spreadsheet where I can award extra money on a discretionary basis for good stuff. Big weight loss milestones will be included here but other stuff can be too. The Loot! Currently on the list of "shit I want" is: a dehydrator, a breadmaker, a squat rack, new healthy cookbooks, fitness gear and a sports bra. There is also fun stuff on the list like Sims expansion packs, and some self care stuff like Lush bath bombs and fancy shampoo. The idea is, if it is on the list of loot then I cannot buy it with regular money, it has to be Going For Gold money. I have been trialling this format since Wednesday and it's working really well so far. I have already amassed a lofty £2.55 (please, no begging letters) and this is just the pace I wanted to earn the loot at so I think the amounts are pretty much bang on. It's working to motivate me well and I am excited for the format to continue so............ New challenge.... goooooooooooooooo!

Deffy Drops the Dead Weight I have had a lot of success this year but recent events have led to my feeling atomised yet again, a feeling that always seems to sweep me up in the spring. I start to look at where I want to go in relation to where I am currently at, and I feel the need to spring clean my life so that is the focus of this challenge. I have asked myself why I have the possessions I have, why I do the things I do, why I want the things I want, why I mix with the people I do and why I let myself lose touch with some people, and some of it doesn’t make much sense any more. So the focus of this challenge is to ensure I am giving the daily focus to the things that are important and not wasting my time on the things that aren’t. 1. Escape the Unbearable Weightiness of Stuff I have too much stuff, I might have mentioned this before. I like the idea of living amongst only those items I truly love and dropping the stuff I don’t particularly care for. I am not quite ready for a full Konmari but for this challenge I want to get rid of one item every day, which I believe is 32 items in total. At the end of the challenge, I have 14 days to donate this stuff or I have to get rid of my favourite dress too. I will be a throwing away monster, ruthless and cruel. 2. Drop the Excess Weight I still have my chain going for all my daily goals and they will continue but I also want to aim for a specific calorie goal. This is not set in stone and there will be no penalties for me not hitting it which is the only way I can do this without activating my inner Rebel to sit up and do what she damn well pleases but I will keep this calorie goal in mind every day and shoot for it, on the downlow. 3. Stop Stockpiling Food I open my pantry door and that crap just falls out all over the floor. My freezer is full and I am not intentionally preparing for a zombie apocalypse, I do not need to stockpile food. I want to eat down my cupboards and buy less food so meal planning will be around what I already have. There are only two of us in my house, we do not need three months worth of food hanging around. 4. Stop Being Frivolous with Spare Time and Pursue an Old Passion When I was younger, I used to write a lot. I maybe showed a little promise but somewhere along the line I just stopped doing it. I would really love to get back into it but I find myself stumped, creatively. So I am going to start at the very beginning and read a book about how to effectively write, make notes and hopefully snatch back some of that lost talent. 5. Explore Avenues This is a semi secret goal so little will be discussed publicly on the forums but I don’t mind discussing it semi publicly so this may be chronicled on Instagram because I use this exclusively for you fine people. In the interests of making this goal SMART, I want to explore 5 avenues. Obviously all the other stuff is still required – 3x 30 minute workout sessions a week, daily Daily Dare, 5 a day every day, proper hydration, daily journaling, daily MFP tracking and reading 10 pages per day. I have 100% success for these goals for this year and that will not end here. My challenge starts on Tuesday and goes through until the Friday before the official end of the challenge. Maybe longer if I'm feeling fruity.

M4XIMUM EFF0RT! Hello again friends, it’s that time again where we put ourselves through low-key torture together for funsies! Now for those who don’t know, 2017 Deffy is doing pretty well. She seems to have forgotten all the bad habits 2016 Deffy discovered and I am trying my best to keep her ignorant of this and things are going pretty ok so far. So well, in fact, that I only have a little to go before I equal my previous lowest weight evah. And so close that it is only just out of my reach (considering my current rate of loss so far this year) by the end of this challenge. Maximum effort will be employed to get me as close to this as I can, so if I don’t reach it by the end of this challenge (and if you are fluent in subtext you may have an idea that I certainly endeavour to without actually saying it so as not to invoke my inner rebel because that would be disastrous) I will be well placed to trounce this goal next challenge. So what is maximum effort? Well it’s doing everything I already do now, but better, with more gusto, more sweat and more determination. My current plan is tracking everything I eat without having a concrete calorie goal, eating at least 5 a day every day, drinking at least 2 litres of water each day, reading 10 pages every day, doing the daily dare every day, journaling every day and working out for 30 minutes 3 times a week. These have been my goals all year and I am still on 100% (but for goodness sake don’t tell 2016 Deffy). My workouts generally look like a 45 minute elliptical session as a warmup followed by a 90 Days of Change session and a Killer Butt session because I want the best ass in England. Things are moving slowly in that department but they are definitely moving. I guess you could say all of my goals are geared towards me not looking shit. I even have a new skincare regime and I decided now is the time to start using eye cream. And do you know how you're supposed to apply eye cream? You kinda splodge it on under your eyes and then give yourself lots of little slaps with your finger. Weird huh, who thought of that. But I digress... there is one more aspect to this challenge: DO I REALLY LIKE IT, IS IT IS IT WICKED? I am not a nutrition purist and I am happy to let junk food into my diet in reasonable quantities since I don’t mind fasting for something epic and if I follow this method I generally see more success. Having said that, I am a pretty awesome cook and I think my food tastes better than what most companies can offer. For realsies - I tried KFC for the first time this weekend. I have intentionally never had this before since I already have enough vices but I was seduced by the Dirty Louisana burger. I make my own baked version and I expected this trip to KFC would be dangerous but I much prefer my version. So if it’s not worth it, I don’t want to waste the calories. If I really like it, and if it is, in fact wicked then it is welcome to pull up a seat at the table of my allowed foods. If not, it can watch me through the window crying. So I am going to really consider if this stuff is worth my money and my calorie budget. Also included in this challenge! Battle log goals! Eating round the world! EXPLOSIONS! Q&A Questions! And lastly, an apology for putting this terrible song in your head every time you visit my thread. AIYA NAPA AIYA NAPA AIYA NAPA

Last run through, I completed my most successful challenge ever scoring 100% on every goal. I saw some great improvements to my general health, state of mind, resolve and butt, and I am not going to rock the boat and make changes I do not need. Ruminating on the things that brought me most success last go around, I am going to maintain all my streaks and continue to blossom into Peak Deftona in 2017. (An artist's rendering of Peak Deftona) So what does that mean? 1. Track all food eaten. No pressure to stay within a certain limit because when I add pressure, I rebel because I am an idiot like that. If I don't have any boundaries, I tend to keep it as low as I can anyway so that's still the goal. 2. Stick to Training Plan. I am seeing a big change in my body already so I want to see how much I can change it in another month or so. I generally train five times a week but three times (for at least 30 minutes) is the bare minimum. If I skip a workout, I don't get let off. I still have to do whatever work I had scheduled for that day but across my other workout days. 3. 5 a Day, Plenty of Water, Reading 10 Pages Per Day, Journaling Every Day and Daily Daily Dare. Every day, without fail. I have done all of these every day in 2017 so far and I want to go right until the end of the year. 4. Stick to all Battle Log Goals. I have a number of other goals running in my 2017 Battle Log including a shopping ban (but with specific rules), eating seasonal foods, creating less waste and experiencing more stuff from the comfort of my sofa (books, movies and video games). These will mostly be tracked on the Battle Log but I need to keep them in mind here. 5. Eat Around the World This is a project I started many years ago but I lost all my stuff for it. I have to cook a dish from a random country every week, taking an authentic recipe and keeping it as close to the original as I can. I have made a post to keep track of this on here because I have tried to make this into a blog so many times and I just let it decay so if you want to follow that more closely, see here. Some spies already found it 6. Getting to Know my Fellow Rebels I did a song challenge in the last challenge and I loved getting to know everyone so I am going to do a Q&A thing. There won't be any personal questions (they're certainly not intended to be personal anyway), but I'd love to know more about everyone if people are willing to share. And I think that's it. New challenge GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

2016 has been a weird old year. I achieved a lot of things I have been working towards for the last few years but at the same time, I made hardly any progress on my health goals. I just couldn't get into the zone, my motivation waned a lot and I was too easily thrown off course. A lot of the challenges I had hitting my health goals in 2016 have been sorted, at least on a superficial level and I am not entirely sure exactly what has been holding me back in the latter part of this year. In the absence of any concrete answers, I am going to take my best guess and put into motion some rules and restrictions to at least work around this, if not solve it completely. 2017 is about working towards becoming more of the person I want to be. A lot of this stuff I already do, I just want to prioritise it and do it more. Main Goal #1 - Be an Unobtrusive Guest on this Earth. I consume too much. I buy too much stuff on impulse without properly considering if I want or need it. This refers to all kinds of purchases, including food. So I want to consume less in general and in order to achieve this, I will implement the following rules: Waste Not - Produce as little waste as I can. The waste I cannot avoid will be recycled or upcycled and I will work towards as little food waste as I can achieve. There will be monthly targets for this every month. Want Not - Buy only that which I need. I want to have less in the way of possessions so I will buy less and pass on what I can. All items that are new to me will be purchased second hand for the whole of 2017. Credits for brand new items can be earned through successfully completing NF challenges - about 80% earns me a single credit, above 90% earns me two credits. These can be spent immediately if I choose to, or saved up for a larger shopping trip. Free items do not count towards this, and neither do gifts for or from other people (but I can't cheat and ask for things as gifts except when people would usually buy me gifts any way such as birthdays, Christmas or St Deftona's Day). There is a caveat for items that will help me achieve my other goals. If I definitely do not have anything that can be used, borrowed or acquired for free then I can make a formal request a calendar month in advance and if I haven't been able to get my hands on the items by alternative means, I can purchase them from new after the entire calendar month notice period is up. Eat Seasonally and Locally- When planning my weekly menu, I need to check what items are in season and plan my menu accordingly. This will mean I not only eat fresher produce, but it is also cheaper and less of a burden on the environment. When the season is appropriate, I want to plant my own vegetables and produce as much as I can in my small garden. Main Goal #2 - Make Choices that Prioritise Health I want to make decisions that will get me to where I want to be. I feel like I have a lifetime to achieve my health goals, and while this is true, I have no idea how long the rest of my lifetime will be. Becoming healthier will extend this, but without knowing how much time I have, I have no idea if I can afford to be so lax. I want to: * Eat Right * Exercise often * Hydrate myself properly * Look after my general appearance (body, skin, nails and hair - maybe get better at makeup) * Track food every day. I don't even have to be hitting a specific calorie goal, I just want accurate data for every day * Work out for at least 30 minutes, 3 times a week every single week of 2017 * Weigh in every single week and track this on a year long graph * Set monthly challenges that bring in aspects of every part of this battle log and assess these goals on a monthly basis here. To introduce impetus for this aspect of my battle log I am going to take pictures of myself in my underwear in December 2017. I then have to show these photos to someone who has never seen this before. Depending on how well I do, these photos might end up here (tbh, that's pretty unlikely but why not aim for the stars), on Instagram, in the Yak's Head. I can even just send them to one person (probably you, @LadyShello - sorry about that. I promise my friendship will pay off one day <4) but this has to happen, no backsie outsies. Main Goal #3 - Experience Stuff, Use Time Wisely and Future Proof I'd prefer to make travel a big goal for 2017 but with other things I have planned this may not be possible. So instead, I am going to experience the world through my mind. * Read 25 books * Watch 100 movies * Actively look for opportunities to grow as a person and come out of my comfort zone * Work towards Antifragility (where the name of this whole Roadmap comes from) * Play more games and work towards 45,000 xbox gamerpoints (currently around 40,000) * Stop wasting so much of my free time. Get into the habit of always doing something. * Save some money every single month and look after my financial future Work Towards Becoming Peak Deftona I want to be healthier. I want to consume less. I want to be kind to those around me. I want to give more to others. I want to be less wasteful. I want to be less impulsive with my purchases. I want to fritter away less of my time. I want to be more focussed and driven. I want to help those who may need it. I want to be smarter. I want to be stronger. I want to be braver. I want to follow up on things I say I will do. I want to look better naked. I want the best arse in the United Kingdom. Every night, I want to reflect on the day and decide if I have made choices that will bring me closer to being the person I want to be. I will grade each day red, amber or green. Everything but red is acceptable. 2017. Let's do this. JANUARY - Week One - Week Two - Week Three

2016 was a raging dumpster fire but who cares?! That shit is over. 2017 is going to be sparkling sunshine and sexy unicorns, you heard it here first! I actually start 2017 heavier than I started 2016 which sort of sums up the entire year which on a personal level was pretty troubling, and I really suffered from lack of motivation and failure to see things through which really isn't like me. So I decided to start 2017 with 30 days of pure, unbridled excellence to kick start the year and set the scene for the 365 days ahead. I want to get 100% on every single aspect of this challenge. Failure is not an option. My challenges are running slightly different this year. I have overarching goals that are tended to on my battle log and these have monthly objectives. The challenges don't run in perfect months so I am having different (usually) goals to complete in my 4 week challenges. You can find my plan for January here. My goals for challenge one are below. I want to get my good habits back so for the next 30 days I want to do the following every single day. The 30 days finishes on 31st January but I will set other objectives for the remainder of the challenge. 1. Eat at least 5 portions of freggies every day Only unique freggies count (per day, obviously) and it has to be at least 80g of one type to count as a serving. I can have a maximum of 2 servings of "mixed veg" but these have to look different to each other. I didn't explain that well. Nevermind, I know what I mean. 2. Drink 8 glasses of water a day Yep, this is all basic stuff but you know what? I let the basics slide last year and it led to me gaining so I'm not too proud to go back to the baby steps. 3. Track everything I eat in MFP This is about baseline data and observing my habits. I am not even demanding daily deficits but I really do expect them. 4. Prep breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks ahead of time where possible and track food for the following day the night before Preparation is the key to this. The snack box shows this method works best for me so we're going to run with it again. 5. Do the Daily Dare on Darebee every single day No ifs, no buts, no coconuts. 6. Complete 30 Days of Change Do the whole thing with one single bit of leeway - I do not have to do it on days where I am at my work-out-of-the-home job because there is too much travelling and I am already very active at this job anyway so it's not particularly necessary. However, I still need to complete this within the 30 days and I have to complete every single day in that time period. I am achieving this by looking at what is planned for each day, assigning the days that take the least time to complete to days I am working and then attaching this to another day so I do two workouts on one day, twice a week. This is decided at the beginning of the week to form a training schedule and I cannot deviate from this, I have to consider it as set in stone. 7. Read 10 pages of a book per day I have two books on at the moment and it doesn't matter which one I read, I just need to read 10 pages. I need to get back to the Deftona who used to really put herself out for her goals. The Deftona who realised the Pancakes were 8 hours away from completing a reading challenge in an epic Pancake v Waffle battle so she sat there and read for EIGHT WHOLE HOURS because that's what she did. I don't do that any more. But I will. 8. Observe all relevant rules from the Battle Log The challenges are intended to compliment the Battle Log so all rules from there are still relevant despite what my individual challenges lay out. For example, I cannot buy anything from new this year unless I have submitted a formal petition for a specific item a calendar month before. One caveat to this is I can earn tokens from 4 week challenges that I can spend on new items without making petitions. I earn a single token by getting 80%+ and I get two credits for earning 90%+. I also have food waste targets, seasonal food eating goals, Gamerpoints targets and savings goals. 9. Thirty Day Song Challenge This is an interactive part of the challenge because I want everyone to join in! I have a list of a few questions from some different Song Challenges I found online and I have randomised them and given them a number. I will pick one at random each morning and post my song and I want other people to post their songs too. I love finding new (to me) music so this is purely a selfish endeavour but join me, it'll be a riot! 10. Journal Every Day I have a 5 year Q&A journal that is a lovely way to track my character development over time and also my trusty BuJo which works so much better when it is actually up to date. 2017 is the Year of the Rebel, let's do this.

Last challenge was a bit of a shit show as I spiralled into apathy and The SadzTM but I found that relaxing my goals (and not posting here) was actually making me worse and I ended up staying down longer than I needed to, or ever should have. But as a very unwise man once said: (Never change, David. Never change<3 ) I haven't made a lot of progress on my weight loss goals this year and it does feel like a bit of a waste of the year in this respect. I achieved quite a bit in my personal life though so I will not write 2016 off completely but I want to finish the year stronger than I have been living the year so far. This challenge is about having a final burst of glory like a star that is supernova-ing, tying up loose ends and trying to get excited for my goals in 2017 and all the success I am going to have burning some fat and getting hot. Goal One - Lose 5 lbs this challenge I want to insure against Christmas weight gain in the hope of, at worst, being the same weight on January 1st as I am right now so I want to get a little cushion to begin my 2017 pushin'. And I am going to tackle this one with maths! To lose 5 lbs in 23 days, I need to have a total deficit of 17500 calories which works out at 673 calories per day. I have a spreadsheet where I input yesterday's calorie burn (from Fitbit data) and I knock 673 calories off to work out that day's calorie allowance. This takes the guesswork out of it and helps me trial to see if this method is actually going to work since this is my projected plan for next year. Goal Two - Workout 3 times per week, every week This can be anything. Preferably an elliptical session, a P:BA session (Project: Best Ass - If you're new to following me, I am trying in vain to get a sexy butt) a heavy lifting session, swim session or a Darebee session but if I am injured or sick then yoga or a big stretching session will suffice. There is no minimum time I want to spend doing this, I am just making sure the habit is there. Goal Three - Tie up loose 2016 threads I have a list of things that must be completed by the end of the year and I will work to knock those out one by one. These are: * Submit my tax return for the 2015/2016 financial year (Yes, this has been my goal since April and no, I haven't done it yet) * Finish Baby von Fartypants' Christmas present * Finish X present * Finish W present * Finish all current books: - A History of the World - Inside the Whale * Have all my own possessions in my own house * To have finished Darebee Foundation Light * Finish portfolio for work * Move all recipes from my broken recipe file to my new recipe box Completed! 26/11/2016 Goal Four - Finish and publish 2017 Road Map in a new Battle Log Exactly what it says on the tin. Goal Five - UPDATE THIS BLASTED THREAD Daily and weekly updates. Twice daily if I'm feeling fruity. New challenge, let's gooooooooooooooo!

Def Avoids Putting the Long ‘un in the Wrong ‘un. Ah Tetris. The beautiful game. Nobody can quite describe the thrill of getting a long Tetronimo when you have saved the perfect space for it,.. only to completely screw it up and accidentally dump it in the wrong place This, my friends, is known as “putting the long ‘un in the wrong’un” and this forms the basis of my challenge. Not doing this. Getting some Tetrises up in here. There are a number of positive actions I want to perform in this challenge and each action earns me a square towards a Tetronimo. Every time I get four squares, I build a full Tetronimo and I roll a dice to see which one I can have. I can then place this anywhere on my Tetris board. Six of the Tetronimos can be gained by doing positive behaviours which are: eating 5 a day, sticking to food rules, sticking to my training schedule, daily stretching, BuJo-ing and adhering to my skincare routine. Long ‘Uns These are gained from screwing up. If I fail a goal, a get a square towards a long ‘un. If, by midnight Sunday I haven’t completed the Long ‘Un, I can complete this and put it in a place of my choosing. If, however, I have completed the Long ‘Un, I have to stick it in the worst possible place at that moment – the wrong ‘un. The Goals Eat 5 a day – Every day I eat 5 portions of freggies (around 80g of each type) I get a square towards a regular Tetronimo. If I less than 3 portions in a day, I get a Long ‘Un square. Stick to Food Rules – This is Michael Pollan’s approach to healthy eating. All my food must be "clean" (a terrible term I usually shy away from but I know what I mean by this and if you've read 'Food Rules' then you will too!) unless it is made from scratch by my own hands. A Long ‘Un square for every non compliant item I eat. Train Every Day – I want to at least do my daily Darebee challenge workout, and I also want to do elliptical tests, swimming and yoga sessions, and P:BA is also returning (YAY!). I get a Tetronimo square for every day I do every workout I have scheduled for that day, I get a square towards a Long ‘Un for every day I do no exercise. Daily Stretching and Lemon Water – I am having a lot of muscular problems such as my back, neck and also knee issues. I want to stretch every day to try and stop this crap happening and I also want to drink warm lemon water every day when I have done it because this is what those yogis on Instagram do OKAY?! Follow skincare routine – Miscellar water helps my skin. When I don’t use this regularly, I look like shit and it takes literally seconds so there's no excuse. I want to use moisturiser at night and I also want to use a facemask 2x per week and put body lotion on 2x a week. Long ‘Un squares per missed part of routine. BuJo every day – Just keep it current. Track properly and keep my diary intact. Stick to budget – Don’t go crazy with the money, November is an expensive month for me. 2 full Tetronimos for each week I stick to this. Food Waste – I don’t waste much food at all but I’d rather waste nothing. I plan to take this even further next year but just to establish a baseline, my current goal is to waste less than £5 worth of food per week. I get 2 tetronimos per week I meet this goal Weigh in and track - every week even if I don’t think I am going to like it – A whole Tetronimo when I do. If by the end of the week I am a single square short of my second full Tetronimo for that goal, I get to complete it as a bonus for 100% the goal that week. I am also going to allow discretionary Tetronimoes when I feel I have done things exceptionally well. And for your viewing pleasure... my Tetris board! And I think that's it. New challenge............ GO!

The Clone Wars: The Prequel – Def and Shello Get Their Shit Together Are you ready for this? This is a tandem challenge. @LadyShello and I both had an abysmal challenge last go around. It was supposed to be the one where we each got back into the groove and made some progress. Rather than an improvement from the challenges before, it got worse, like, super off the rails worse. Our current levels of accountability don’t seem to be enough. We’ve been accountable to ourselves, to the Doodlies, to the entire NF community but for some reason, right now, this doesn’t seem to be enough. Before we can get back to waging war, we need to get our shit together. And what do you do when you can’t do something on your own? You get back up, you phone a friend, and you potentially risk your friendships by causing unnecessary punishments if you fuck up. So that’s what we’ve done. For this challenge we are in this together. We’ve tried challenges with rewards for hitting our goals. We’ve tried challenges with punishments for not hitting our goals and both methods have come up a little short. In order for this reset to work we need more accountability than ever before, accountability2 (patent pending). For this challenge, if either of us misses a goal, we both pay the price. The deets: We each have our own goals but they boil down to 5 workouts a week and following a sensible calorie limit. The calorie limits are tiered so that there is a specified amount that we can go over without incurring any punishment, going over more than that is either a minor or a major infraction, depending on how much over the limit we go or how we go over that limit (depending on whose challenge we’re talking about). Dietary punishments are to be completed the following day. Each missed workout incurs a penalty as well. Training penalties are cumulative and should be completed by the end of the following week. The sexy part everyone’s here for: PUNISHMENTS: 1st Dietary Minor Infraction: Add extra sets or miles on top of whatever we had planned for our next workouts 2nd Dietary Minor Infraction: Do the Darebee daily workout (in addition to our normal workouts) 3rd Dietary Minor Infraction: The same as a major infraction Major Dietary Infraction: 1 dairy-free meal and only cold showers the following day 1st missed workout: Darebee Daily Dare, with extra credit if possible, or do it twice Any subsequent missed workout: 50 burpees per missed workout Deftona's Particulars (Shut up, Scotty) I want to stick to my calorie limit which is currently 1800 calories since I am pretty active. If I eat at or below this, of any food it is a pass. I can go over this by a little as long as I eat healthy food and that will still be a pass. if I eat over 1800 calories with some unhealthy shit (eating like a dickhead, I guess) then it's a minor infraction. If I completely take the piss and faceplant a cake factory or something, it's a red infraction and Shello is going to have a bad time so let's not do that, right Def? RIGHT DEF? I also want to work out five times a week. To channel my inner Jean-Ralphio - 'IF I AIN'T MAKING IT RAININ', I'D BETTER BE TRAININ'" I have two jobs, one where I work for myself making sex aprons (this might be a lie) and another job where I work two days a week. If I am not at my outside-of-the-house job then I had better be in BatCena Boulevard paying my dues in sweat. On every training session I want to do a 5K on my elliptical and I also want to do a Darebee session because I am trying to do ALL OF THE THINGZ on there too. I also want to work on my 2016 goals which have fallen a little to the wayside of late because life has got in the way. I am doing pretty well on my financial goals but I want to make a harder push for these final months. I have spent way more money than I would normally like so far this month so from now until payday, I want to limit my spending. I have used a formula to disguise actual figures but I want to spend less than 855 Tokens of Monetary Holding (TMHs) from today until a week on Friday. I will make another financial goal after payday when I have done my monthly budget and that will be the goal for the rest of the challenge. I also want to spend the equivalent of 30 minutes a day on my other goals. I have fiction reading goals, education goals, KMing goals and a couple of others so I want a total 990 minutes this challenge on allowable activities. For this goal and the Token of Monetary Holdings goal, Shello does not get punished for me being a massive tit but I do not earn my prize if I mess it up. Shello has a vacation during this challenge and I have a mini break too. Shello's vacation is worth 6 days and mine is 3 so I am going to take 3 floating days because symmetry is very important to me for some reason. For an aced challenge, I get to keep Shello as a friend because she won't hate me. I also get to buy myself this: I think that's it. New challenge... GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Hi everyone! My name is Deftona and I have been hanging in these dark corners of the internet for a while. I usually track my progress in the challenges but since I am going to start a meta challenge that will run alongside all of my challenges for the next two years or so (wow, two years+ makes this project sound a little intimidating.... shoves fingers in ears lalalala) I thought a Battle Log to compliment this would be a sensible idea. Darebee has a range of challenges including a lot of 30 day programmes and I decided to run one of these alongside my usual cardio for my next challenge. The more I looked into them though, the harder I found it to choose one to do and the more I thought about this, the more I came around to the idea of DOING ALL OF THEM. So that is what I am going to do. I have listed them all in order in my Bullet Journal from the easiest to the hardest and I am going to complete them all. They are going to take longer than 30 days to complete because I got other shit to do but as long as I complete them in a reasonable time frame, I can consider them all aced. The first one on my list is Foundation Light and although it is probably aimed at people working below my personal fitness level, this thing is about completion so if I am doing it, I am doing it now. The challenge starts today, woo! My prize for completing this is:

Deffy The Vampire Slayer Season 2 Deffy vs Angelus: Deffy Finds the Passion "Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have?" This challenge will pick up where the last one left off. I successfully defeated The Master but because I set myself so many tasks to do outside of health and exercise I got a low score despite doing ok with the exercise goals because I got addicted to Arkham Knight. I'd like to say I have learned my lesson but I haven't and probably never will so I will have to work around the weird obsessions I get that pop up from time to time, and also learn to live with setting myself lofty goals I have few intentions of meeting So the challenge will follow the same format as the last - I have a different special opponent every few days and I have a special task I have to complete to beat said opponent. I am not running any special opponents during weeks 3 and 4 because work is about to go seriously crazy and I will have zero time for myself for that fortnight. The Main Goals Don't Eat Like A Dickhead Whenever I calorie count for a long time my diet gets crappier and crappier. I focus on calorie load instead of nutrition and my diet gets filled with stuff I don't want to be eating so I am going to half forget about calories and focus on eating good nutritious foodstuffs and stay the heck away from the chemical shitstorms. This is back to the heady days of 'Don't Eat Like A Dickhead' but with more rules than I used to follow when I first started doing this. I have a list of contraband items ('contras') with portion sizes worked out and I am allowed thirty contras across the challenge. Some examples of contras are: White bread (per slice/bagel half/mini bagel etc), chocolate with stuff in (chocolate without stuff in doesn't really appeal to me so don't eat a lot of it), all cake, fizzy drinks, biscuits and cookies, sweets and anything else that is clearly frankenfoodstuffs masquerading as food. All alcohol is included in this too (except alcohol I cook with) with the exception of red wine. Because give me red wine or give me death. Move that Body I want to do 50 kms and get 750 fitness minutes. This has been heavily scaled down to account for those two weeks of being really busy. Chase the Booty I am done messing around, I want a great ass and I want it now. But I can't have it now so I am going to focus on working on it for this challenge so I can have it soon. I want to do 2,016 standing splits or heel kicks in this challenge period. And to say there are at least eight days when I won't be able to do any exercise at all, that averages out at more than 80 per day. If that doesn't help me achieve my bubble butt goals I should probably give up on them. Passion That's it. I am not going to set myself any extracurricular goals except my villain battle focus challenges because if last challenge is anything to go by, I set these goals and then laugh in their faces while I sit on my non excellent ass and play video games. But what I am going to do is approach everything in my life with more passion. No formal grading for this, just an attempt to keep it at the forefront of my mind. The Prize If I get 85% or above for this challenge, I get this. Lower that 85% and I get a kick up the arse. I think that's it. New challenge.... goooooooooooooooooooo!

This is a continuation of my Epic Quest for 2016, where I beat Nikki Bella's Diva's Title reign record whose reign was 301 days. To continue my streak, I have to perform on every TV show (Raw, NXT and Smackdown), as well as every televised special (eg Beast in the East) and PPV. In order to perform, I have to complete a cardio session - currently a 5K elliptical session for every day the TV show airs. I can move these days around if I need to but the idea is that I will 'perform' every Monday (Raw), Wednesday (NXT) and Thursday (Smackdown). I have created a roster of 50 female wrestlers, all the current batch, along with some important ones from yesteryear and each person has an exercise session attached to them. For every show I perform on, I roll dice to determine if it will be a title defence, and if it is, I have to do a 10K instead of a 5K. I also have to perform at every PPV and televised special where there is always a title defence. I have to do this for at least 302 days beginning 4th January so this challenge should take me up to 1st November 2016. These rules will stand even when I am not on a challenge. The challenge at hand: Goal One: Deftona Harnesses The Power of Positivity I had a pretty good challenge last time and I stuck well to all of my health and fitness goals but stress was a little harder to handle. So the focus for this challenge is looking after myself, looking after the people around me and generally making efforts to remain positive despite stresses I may encounter. I have come to realise that some people are just dickholes, and that is ok. I like to think I am not a dickhole, and I make efforts to not act like a dickhole, but in the world of dickholes, this is pretty much where my control in this matter ends. I cannot force my anti-dickhole agenda on other people. I can only be the kind of dickhole I want to see in the world around me. And that's an un-dickhole. So every day I am going to make efforts to be positive and generally be lovely and patient with myself and people around me, whether they are a dickhole or not. Although I am awesome, I am still human so the goal here isn't perfection, but if I find my state of mind slipping I have to make efforts to improve my mood and my outlook. Goal Two: The Hall of Fame I was considering making different little goals for P:BA sessions, KMs, freggies, water and continuing The Rock goal from last challenge but really, this is stuff I just do. So I am going to continue doing what I do and track all of this as part of The Hall of Fame. These are as follows, all values are for the whole challenge (so almost 5 weeks) 30 P:BA sessions 200 KMs 250 portions of freggies 350 cups of approved fluids Days stuck to 'IF YOU SMEEEEEEELLLLLL!' goal Stuck to Macros Stuck to Training Plan Goal Three: Demolition Briniel has inspired this aspect of the challenge and instead of trying to be generally productive, I am going to be more targeted. I am going to wake up in the morning and think of three tasks I should achieve today to consider the day a success. This can't be something I would do anyway, it has to be distinct (so no P:BA sessions if they are already scheduled in my Passion Planner) but every day there will be an Ax, Smash and Crush goal and I have to demolish these three tasks to pass the day. Goal Four: Gold and Stardust I have a morning (Golddust, for the sun duh) and an evening (Stardust) checklist that I have to complete every day. The morning one will include basic self care but also making the bed and cleaning up any clothes I have hurled onto the floor with gay abandon the night before. The night one is all self care but things I don't always do like hand cream. I have made a new P:BA programme for this month and it's a killer. I have also re-started 100 Days of Excellence from today and sticking to all my macros and my training plan will be tracked as part of the Hall of Fame goal. I think that's everything. Week One..... GOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ETA - Women are people too now so no more divas.

In the terrifying hellscape that is my imagination, I am a Diva employed by WWE at the top of my game and I am such a badass, I don't even have to star in Total Divas. I have held the Diva's title for 26 days so far and I am aiming to beat Nikki Bella's 301 day record. And just because I like you all, have a booty gif. The Rules for the Title Reign: To retain the title, I have to perform on every TV show (Raw, NXT and Smackdown), as well as every televised special (eg Beast in the East) and PPV. In order to perform, I have to complete a cardio session - at least a 30 minute elliptical session for every day the TV show airs. I can move these days around if I need to but the idea is that I will 'perform' every Monday (Raw), Wednesday (NXT) and Thursday (Smackdown). I have created a roster of 50 female wrestlers, all the current batch, along with some important ones from yesteryear and each person has an exercise session attached to them. For every show I perform on, I roll dice to determine if it will be a title defence, and if it is, I have to complete that wrestler's exercise session in addition to my own cardio in order to retain the belt. PPVs are always title defences. My other long term goal is to get the Best Ass in England (excluding Greater London)TM and I am trying to accomplish this with Project: Best Ass (henceforth referred to as P:BA) which is a strength training regime targeting my booty. This Challenge Goal One - Tye Dillinger's Perfect 10 (plus ten multiplied by a thousand) (Did I just win the prize for most tenuous sub-goal title?) Have a deficit of 20,000 15,000 (due to injury) calories by the penultimate day of the challenge. Goal Two - Get Bull Fit Get at least 100 75 (due to injury) km in mileage (kilometreage?) on the elliptical. Goal Three - No Sexual Chocolate I have done this before but it worked so ZERO CHOCOLATE. Which reminds me, I still have chocolate left from Christmas I should probably offload... Goal Four - Basic (Eco)Thuganomics Stick to monthly budget, don't make any frivolous purchases and don't buy anything new to wear (with two exceptions, the perfect black denim jacket should I come across it and a chunky, mustard coloured cardigan because I have been looking for the perfect one of these since forever) YEAH, FEBRUARY! LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!