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  1. Girl, you've got to change your crazy ways, YA HEAR ME?! C'm'ere baby.... Oh boy do I have to change my crazy ways, ya hear me. The extent to which I have backslid is a little bit tragic albeit expected given the year I have had. I am hoping to get back to training in this challenge, the road to recovery has been in the distance for a long time and I am ready to get on it. In my convertible so I can distract a man from his combine harvesting then steal his clothes after a long night of lesbian subtext with my best friend. I need to get out of the mindset that I don’t have to starve myself to lose weight. If I am overweight, I eat too much. If I want to lose weight I need to eat less than my body needs. Eating as much as my body needs will lead to maintenance so in order to drop weight I need to give my body less energy than it needs. This is literally starving myself, and it’s not easy which is why there are so many overweight people. These are home truths. To dismiss them is to fail. Now if I am eating high calorie foods and still hitting my target calories, this will feel like I am starving myself. Because I am. If I eat low energy foods like vegetables then I will feel full and even though I am starving myself it won’t feel like it. But I still am. This is an incontrovertible truth. So the key to this is to drop weight, get back to looking like I did this time last year, and look better in clothes and also naked just in case TH dumps my ass and I have to either die alone or go on Naked Attraction (those are the two options. There are no other options). So that’s my statement of intent, let’s get at it. By the end of this challenge I want to fit into the denim dress that is a little tight on me. It buttons all the way up so it being tight is dangerous because the buttons pop open and I show people my underwear. This has actually happened which is why I don’t wear it anymore but a few days ago I was in a shop about to buy something very similar when I stopped myself and thought “hey Deffy, if you just lay off the ice cream perhaps you can save this £60 and wear the near identical item you already fucking have” so this is what I am doing. I have to post a photo of me in this dress at the end of the challenge, even if it won’t do up. This is my motivation. Goal One - Rag Doll : Hot time, get it while it’s easy This shit is easier in the summer so I want to make sure I have the good habits in place now and I am in the right space so I am ready to battle winter. I have a deficit goal per day that I want to be hitting in order to hit my year end weight loss goal which is to lose the weight I gained and a little bit more. This isn’t a concrete goal, I just need to ensure my food is mostly in line, everything is tracked and I am going in the right direction with my food choices. I also want to be drinking lots of water to hydrate myself and keep myself looking young. There isn’t a specific goal for this because I know when I am thirsty, I just need to drink dangnabbit. Goal Two: Back In The Saddle Again I want to get back to training. My body feels very tight and cranky so yoga will also be a feature although given I cannot bear any weight on my right shoulder this won't be my usual yoga, I am going to have to make some adjustments. But I want to make my body feel better through exercise, so lots of cardio and weight training as well. No formal goals but I have to ask myself "do I feel good? Will exercise make me feel better?" and if the answer to the last question is "yes" I have to do something about it. Goal Three - Even Joe Perry Thinks I'm Alright! I don’t actually know what Joe Perry thinks is attractive. Hang on, let me check to see what his wives have looked like... Ok, I’m back and I don’t look anything like Elyssa Jerret or Billie Paulette Montgomery. I’ll just have to wing this one and make sure I think I’m alright. I want to focus on my appearance again because I have let myself go a little. Buffing, polishing, moisturizing, anything that will make me look F.I.N.E. I am also going to keep trying to buy clothes for my weird-ass body. But one F.I.N.E activity per day so I can get sexy again. New challenge, let's go!