Space_Elf Posted July 24, 2017 Report Share Posted July 24, 2017 OK, trying once again to drag myself out of my own personal pit of anxiety and depression. Social Anxiety and Depression are not easy to deal with, so baby steps. If I can stick to a daily routine for a set amount of time, then I can build the routine one step at a time. In building up the routine, I can go back to school. Eventually, I can live independent of my family and pursue a career I care about. Step One: Stick to my routine for a week. Wake up by 7am - set wake up time helps to set bedtime. Say my affirmations: life is imperfect, many of my negative emotions stem from seeking perfection and focusing on the lack of perfection, to end the cycle I must learn to accept the imperfection that is life, I am intelligent, I am capable, failure is not the end of the world, what would commander Shepard do? - I need to remind myself and to internalize this. Do stretches (five minutes) - fixes my posture builds flexibility. Drink Super food smoothie with probiotics and focus factor - breaks my fast without upsetting stomach and helps my brain function first thing in the morning. 20 minutes of tai chi - it helps with stiffness and sore muscles, I always feel better afterwards. Have breakfast: green tea, cereal, fruit, almond milk - easy on my stomach, mildly energizing. Every other day: 5 - 60 minutes of whatever exercise tickles my fancy. - changing it up keeps things interesting. Freshen up and get dressed by 10am - sets in my mind the start of the day, means I'll be less embarrassed to answer the door than if I'd been lounging in pyjamas. 10 minute tidy - set timer and put things away, start laundry, check the kitty litter box, do the sweeping, air out the house. Rest of the morning dedicated to free online courses or reading library books Lunch: soup/sandwich/ veggie burger/frozen meal from trader joes with tea/juice/ginger beer - lots of options depending on how hungry I am, how my stomach is doing, and my emotional state. Twice a week: I go to the library unaccompanied - part of my therapy is to leave the house on my own and spend time is a largely nonthreatening environment. 4pm: ten minute tidy - same as morning, keeps the house from becoming a health hazard. (7pm ish) Walk the dog 20 minutes with Dad - I don't like it. I'm not a dog person and Dad and I have a difficult relationship. But it gets me out of the house and getting some very moderate exercise... The dog is very old and not inclined to walk faster than a gentle meander. Feed the cat - entertaining to make him go in circles and beg for dinner, he makes the cutest sounds Every other day my turn to cook: lots of options including the option to say I don't feel like it and then dad and I fix ourselves soup or whatever whenever we get hungry. Twice a week music practice with dad at a friends house - I have mixed feelings. Dad annoys me, but I like singing, the friend is a terrible singer but good company. It good for me to socialize, but sometimes I'm just not in the mood. Bedtime around 10pm: shower, change, meditate, listen to audio book. - This is what I'm supposed to be doing. In actuality, I hit the snooze or turn off my alarms. I read books or game instead of getting things done. I am also supposed to journal if I skip anything. Just say why I skipped doing whatever nothing major. If I can follow this routine for a while (make it my challenge?) Then I can add other stuff in. Like selling a lot of junk so I can remodel my room and go back to school. 1 Quote Space_Elf, Fallohide Hobbit Level 0. STR 0 | DEX 0 | STA 0 | CON 0 | WIS 0 | CHA 0 Battle Log | Science fiction is an existential metaphor, that allows us to tell stories about the human condition. Isaac Asimov once said: "Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today, but the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all." Link to comment
Space_Elf Posted July 25, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2017 Ok.... So while lat night was mostly fine. I did my evening routine, but I just didn't fall asleep until after midnight. Kinda my fault I have these pillows that are made of some kind of foam and they have to be fluffed in the dryer every few months or get oddly lumpy and flat. Sadly, when they're initially fluffed, they're not comfortable for the first few days. So, since I didn't get much sleep I hit the snooze button (buttons, plural because I have multiple alarms scattered around my room). So exercise didn't happen. I am having breakfast and I did take my supplements and drink my smoothie. I was good and journaled about why I skipped stuff and I will be on track again once I finish breakfast. Quote Space_Elf, Fallohide Hobbit Level 0. STR 0 | DEX 0 | STA 0 | CON 0 | WIS 0 | CHA 0 Battle Log | Science fiction is an existential metaphor, that allows us to tell stories about the human condition. Isaac Asimov once said: "Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today, but the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all." Link to comment
Space_Elf Posted July 26, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2017 Yesterday I did get back on track except that the evening tidy completely slipped my mind. For some reason none of my alarms managed to get my attention and I was kinda busy checking email and reading. Today has been a kind of repeat. I skipped exercise in favor of having breakfast and then I got back on track in time for the morning tidy. I just keep hitting the snooze button. I didn't sleep well and all I wanted was just a little bit more sleep, then I'd get up. I did journal about it though, so that's something. Quote Space_Elf, Fallohide Hobbit Level 0. STR 0 | DEX 0 | STA 0 | CON 0 | WIS 0 | CHA 0 Battle Log | Science fiction is an existential metaphor, that allows us to tell stories about the human condition. Isaac Asimov once said: "Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today, but the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all." Link to comment
Loyster Posted July 27, 2017 Report Share Posted July 27, 2017 8 hours ago, Space_Elf said: I just keep hitting the snooze button Nothing on any forum has ever been so relatable. 1 Quote Link to comment
Space_Elf Posted August 5, 2017 Author Report Share Posted August 5, 2017 And... More issues with the snooze button. So far the one energy level correlation is the sun. I hit the snooze until I need the bathroom or the sun comes out. Also, once I'm up I feel pretty sluggish unless the sun is shining. Whee double the SAD. Social Anxiety Disorder and Seasonal Affective Disorder. OK, so I've not incontrovertibly proved the seasonal thing. Quote Space_Elf, Fallohide Hobbit Level 0. STR 0 | DEX 0 | STA 0 | CON 0 | WIS 0 | CHA 0 Battle Log | Science fiction is an existential metaphor, that allows us to tell stories about the human condition. Isaac Asimov once said: "Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today, but the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all." Link to comment
Space_Elf Posted January 15, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 15, 2018 back to the drawing board. I completely fell apart here. I'm very out of shape and had to do an emergency clothing run to target when Ifinally admitted to myself that I've gotten too fat for most of my wardrobe. Not to mention the depression just keeps dragging me down and makes everything feel impossible. However, it was my birthday yesterday and I'm going to get back on track. My goal is to lose 40lbs in a year. Plus, I really really want to go back to school in the fall and I need to work on that. Goals For January: Talk to doctor about antidepressants. It's time, I clearly can't kick the depression with just therapy. adhere to my new weekday schedule! 7am - Weigh myself, take photo of scale. Drink smoothie with supplements. Do tai chi for 20 min 7:30am - have cereal and tea, read comics 8am - do 5-40 minutes of some kind of exercise, anything will do. 9am - tidy up around the house, check in with Nerd Fitness, pack stuff for the day. 10am to11:30am: do online coursework, productive stuff. Bonus points if I leave the house and do my work from a cafe or library. 12pm - eat lunch, keep the portions small. Free Time! 4pm - do some tidying up, update my planner, check emails and other correspondence. Dinner when Dad gets home or when I'm hungry. Small portions. Sometime before 9pm I can have a small serving of dessert. After 9pm, I can only have herbal tea and water crackers. I think the diet will be easiest to stick too since that's pretty much what I am doing now. The tidy up times are a little easier, though I procrastinate a bit. Doing the online refresher courses (I hate math, so much) and possibly leaving the house to face weather and other humans is really the hardest part. Quote Space_Elf, Fallohide Hobbit Level 0. STR 0 | DEX 0 | STA 0 | CON 0 | WIS 0 | CHA 0 Battle Log | Science fiction is an existential metaphor, that allows us to tell stories about the human condition. Isaac Asimov once said: "Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today, but the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all." Link to comment
Space_Elf Posted January 16, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2018 I hit the snooze button a lot. I did most everything except the online class I meant to and leaving the house. Well, technically I did. I went with Dad to a local stationery shop. I don't count it because I use Dad as a sort of shield in social situations. I let him do all the talking. Quote Space_Elf, Fallohide Hobbit Level 0. STR 0 | DEX 0 | STA 0 | CON 0 | WIS 0 | CHA 0 Battle Log | Science fiction is an existential metaphor, that allows us to tell stories about the human condition. Isaac Asimov once said: "Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today, but the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all." Link to comment
Space_Elf Posted January 18, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2018 I have come down with a cold or maybe flu. I hate being sick, everything hurts. Quote Space_Elf, Fallohide Hobbit Level 0. STR 0 | DEX 0 | STA 0 | CON 0 | WIS 0 | CHA 0 Battle Log | Science fiction is an existential metaphor, that allows us to tell stories about the human condition. Isaac Asimov once said: "Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today, but the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all." Link to comment
Space_Elf Posted July 19, 2020 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2020 After a prolonged bout of depression and some digestive issues, I'm going to try and make a come back from the swamp of despair. I'll consider myself out of the swamp when I've got a diet/exercise routine I can stick to at least five days a week. Quote Space_Elf, Fallohide Hobbit Level 0. STR 0 | DEX 0 | STA 0 | CON 0 | WIS 0 | CHA 0 Battle Log | Science fiction is an existential metaphor, that allows us to tell stories about the human condition. Isaac Asimov once said: "Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today, but the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all." Link to comment
Sloth the Enduring Posted July 20, 2020 Report Share Posted July 20, 2020 Welcome back. Quote “We might as well start where we are, use what we have and do what we can." – Caitlin Rivers Sloth: The Man with the Hammer battle log Link to comment
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