I was a slave. I seek emancipation.

[Akira Kurusu]

Hi, 
so I've hard the worst year so far. I graduated out of one of the most premier colleges in my country with an engineering degree but I wanted to pursue writing/filmmaking/game design. So I quit my first job and joined a screenwriting gig and then moved to writing for videogames. Things were great but then the game I was working on flopped and I was laid off.

Meanwhile, I had 4 string of flames that ended so terribly and iconically they can be part of a movie. Also, because I was so disorganised, I was dead broke. I had to move out of my home and live with my friend for a while. I went for several interviews and none worked out. Meanwhile, people kept talking how I was wasting my prestigious engineering degree. I had to leave town and go back to my parents where I'm currently stationed. Dad's giving his usual shit talk about how I'm a disappointment to the family so atleast that thing is still normal I guess .

Due to severe depression, I lost all my gym gains and have ended up weighing 90 kgs (I'm just wee bit under 6 ft tall). I was ready to give up on life, but things changed when I took a flight for my last interview. I grabbed three books from the store there with last few bucks of cash I had. Those were:

 

1. Mastery by Robert Greene
2. 48 Laws Of Power by Robert Greene
3. 4 Hour Workweek by Tim Ferris

 

I had never considered self-help books before and these certainly changed my life. I realized I was giving an interview for a job I'd have hated. I did not want to get away from gaming industry. I called a few friends and luckily, one of them told me that he got his idea for a gaming event company seed funded and was actually going to approach me to be a content marketeer. But that startup won't be live till 2 months from now. 

I saw that as a great opportunity and decided to dedicate these two months to correct all my faults and turn everything around. I've been taking courses, polishing my speaking skills, practicing daily chores, everything. As for fitness, I was looking at fasting techniques and that's how I found this site. I've tried intermittent fasting with a bit of paleo diet involved. Sufficed to say, I've lost more than 1 kg already in a week! (not faking it)

I'm tired of life just happening to me as I sit back, feeling victimized. I'm tired of this feeling of helplessness. I seek to have control. I look towards turning this year into my best by ascending and becoming another person altogether. I have never been more driven to give it back to the world. I'm glad to be a part of this rebellion. 

Thank you for having me!

 

[zeroh13]

Welcome to the rebellion!

 

We have a bit of stuff in common. My last year of college, where I was working on an accounting degree and a film studies degree (I picked the concentration that involved screenwriting), I decided to dive into video game writing. Needless to say, it did not work out. And I was left with one class needed to graduate, and all my savings down the drain. I did go back and graduate, but I really did not want to do accounting, plus I had zero experience outside of the classroom. And now I've been stuck at a dead end job for the past couple years. I'm working on getting something new now, but it's not easy.

 

I've struggled with pretty bad depression (and anxiety) for a long time. It's gotten better (with medication and therapy), but it still tries to do it's damnedest to throw everything off.

 

If you have any questions, let us know and we'll be happy to help. If you haven't checked them out yet, take a look at the four week challenges. We'll be starting a new one soon. They're great for a bit of extra structure and accountability.

 

Good luck on your journey!

[godjira1]

hey Akira, 

 

Can i recommend one more self-help book? To me, it's one of the best I have read in years. 

 

The Subtle Art of not giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. 

[Akira Kurusu]

11 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

Welcome to the rebellion!

 

We have a bit of stuff in common. My last year of college, where I was working on an accounting degree and a film studies degree (I picked the concentration that involved screenwriting), I decided to dive into video game writing. Needless to say, it did not work out. And I was left with one class needed to graduate, and all my savings down the drain. I did go back and graduate, but I really did not want to do accounting, plus I had zero experience outside of the classroom. And now I've been stuck at a dead end job for the past couple years. I'm working on getting something new now, but it's not easy.

 

I've struggled with pretty bad depression (and anxiety) for a long time. It's gotten better (with medication and therapy), but it still tries to do it's damnedest to throw everything off.

 

If you have any questions, let us know and we'll be happy to help. If you haven't checked them out yet, take a look at the four week challenges. We'll be starting a new one soon. They're great for a bit of extra structure and accountability.

 

Good luck on your journey!

Hey, thanks a lot! Great to find someone else with similar backstory. Does therapy really help? I really don't want to try any medication. I mostly realise that I have deep anxiety because my mind became an empty vessel in past two years. While in college, I'd always be researching something and taking online courses on psychology, philosophy, etc. So, my mind was always occupied. That stopped when I got the job. I'm getting back to reading/learning, and it's helping. I have a lot of problems with overthinking.

 

1 hour ago, godjira1 said:

hey Akira, 

 

Can i recommend one more self-help book? To me, it's one of the best I have read in years. 

 

The Subtle Art of not giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. 

Thanks a lot for the suggestion!

I've bought other books by Greene and Tim Ferris. I'm also looking at Man's search for meaning and The way of the superior man. But, I'll definitely be adding this to the list.

Thanks again!

[zeroh13]

6 hours ago, Akira Kurusu said:

Hey, thanks a lot! Great to find someone else with similar backstory. Does therapy really help? I really don't want to try any medication. I mostly realise that I have deep anxiety because my mind became an empty vessel in past two years. While in college, I'd always be researching something and taking online courses on psychology, philosophy, etc. So, my mind was always occupied. That stopped when I got the job. I'm getting back to reading/learning, and it's helping. I have a lot of problems with overthinking.

I find therapy good for showing me new ways to look at things. And pointing out patterns that I never saw on my own. And just overall someone good to have in my support network.

 

I think how useful it is depends on finding the right fit. There's several different types of therapy. Mine is a mix of CBT and mindfulness, and is fairly dialogue based. One of my first therapists relied a lot on worksheets, which wasn't as helpful for me. But I know several people that do great with them. It's also about finding a therapist that you don't clash personalities with.

 

The way I see it, medication is good if the symptoms are interfering with your life, especially if you lack the energy and motivation to change things for the better. Therapy is good for getting at the causes and learning what to change and how to change them. Like learning new coping skills for instance.

[Akira Kurusu]

On 8/3/2017 at 8:12 PM, zeroh13 said:

I find therapy good for showing me new ways to look at things. And pointing out patterns that I never saw on my own. And just overall someone good to have in my support network.

 

I think how useful it is depends on finding the right fit. There's several different types of therapy. Mine is a mix of CBT and mindfulness, and is fairly dialogue based. One of my first therapists relied a lot on worksheets, which wasn't as helpful for me. But I know several people that do great with them. It's also about finding a therapist that you don't clash personalities with.

 

The way I see it, medication is good if the symptoms are interfering with your life, especially if you lack the energy and motivation to change things for the better. Therapy is good for getting at the causes and learning what to change and how to change them. Like learning new coping skills for instance.

Ooh I do love narratives as a means for therapy. I just read Man's search for meaning and it's one of the most inspirational things I've come across. It really lifted my spirits and also made me gain interest in logotherapy :).

I might just seek a therapist. Thanks for the info!