1st challenge First Steps Toward my Quests

[CarolAnnS]

Hello!

 

I'm new here, so, hi! I've read through a lot of other posts about challenges, and you all have such entertaining and thoughtful posts! I'm afraid mine will be very droll. But here I go....

 

I'm a tech nerd, so starting with a Google doc template for figuring out my challenges was my dream. I worked through all of that, and put a lot of thought into it. I'm used to goals like, "lose weight. Boom, go!" without any particular plans, and without considering the rest of my life. I mean, I am more than what I weigh, right? I'm slowly figuring that out. 

 

My top four Quests, and the thoughts behind them:

1. Quest: Be Proud of my Body
   • At first I had a collection of goals, like, lose weight, be strong, etc. As I looked at my mind map, I saw that they all roll up into one master Be Proud of my Body Quest. I don't really care about meeting a number on the scale, but I do care about being healthy and strong, and presenting myself as confident, energetic, and as someone who cares about herself. 
   • First Challenge: Lift 3x a week. I love lifting, and I'm just starting a new protocol focused on building strength. The weights are heaving than I've used before, and it's scary, but it feels good to challenge my body and my mental fortitude.
2. Quest: Get Out of Debt
   • I've carried debt for a long time. I don't know what I spent some of that money on. This debt holds me back from doing things I want to do, like travel. As part of this Quest, I have steps to pay off this debt. 
   • First Challenge: Stop Using my Credit Cards. 'Nuff said. I took them all out of my wallet except for one that truly is for emergencies.  
3. Control my Drinking
   • I wrestle between thinking I should stop drinking altogether, or moderate my alcohol. I know when I've tried to not drink at all, I've ended up binging. However, I am able to set a limit and stick to it sometimes. Based on that, my first goal is to moderate.
   • First Challenge: Limit myself to seven drinks a week. I know any alcohol can sabotage my fitness goals, but for now at least, I am going to moderate.
4. Be More Respected as a Musician
   • I play in a couple of bands, I've been in bands for the past 11 years or so. I can write good lyrics, and my music tends to be funny/entertaining, all of which I'm happy about. Truth is though, I'm not a very good musician. I'd like to be seen as more than funny. I'd like to be seen as a decent musician. Next truth is, I'm totally inconsistent with practicing. I slack off until I have a show, then I cram practicing in at the last minute. 
   • First Challenge: Practice 15 minutes a day. I'm starting by adding consistency to my playing. 15 minutes doesn't sound like a lot, but most days, I don't play at all. This will at least get me playing every day. 

 

I'll attach my mind map here for this challenge, in case anyone's interested!

 

Thanks for reading all of this!

[Bean Sidhe]

Carol

You first challenge looks great and very thought out. I agree on the "Get to final point and go" never works, so it is good that you are breaking it down into smaller chunks. I wanted ot hit a couple of things.

 

5 hours ago, CarolAnnS said:

My top four Quests, and the thoughts behind them:

1. Quest: Be Proud of my Body
   • At first I had a collection of goals, like, lose weight, be strong, etc. As I looked at my mind map, I saw that they all roll up into one master Be Proud of my Body Quest. I don't really care about meeting a number on the scale, but I do care about being healthy and strong, and presenting myself as confident, energetic, and as someone who cares about herself. 
   • First Challenge: Lift 3x a week. I love lifting, and I'm just starting a new protocol focused on building strength. The weights are heaving than I've used before, and it's scary, but it feels good to challenge my body and my mental fortitude.

 

I love this goal. You are right, we are all more than just a number, and while that number can be a data point on how we are doing on our journey, it can be important to remember it is not the only data point. So start with just lifting and then add another. If lifting 3 times a week gets hard, maybe worry about just one lift a week and then add them on.

 

 

5 hours ago, CarolAnnS said:

1. Quest: Get Out of Debt
   • I've carried debt for a long time. I don't know what I spent some of that money on. This debt holds me back from doing things I want to do, like travel. As part of this Quest, I have steps to pay off this debt. 
   • First Challenge: Stop Using my Credit Cards. 'Nuff said. I took them all out of my wallet except for one that truly is for emergencies.  

 

This is a great first step. It is amazing how easy it is to get into debt and how hard to get out of it.

 

5 hours ago, CarolAnnS said:

1. Control my Drinking
   • I wrestle between thinking I should stop drinking altogether, or moderate my alcohol. I know when I've tried to not drink at all, I've ended up binging. However, I am able to set a limit and stick to it sometimes. Based on that, my first goal is to moderate.
   • First Challenge: Limit myself to seven drinks a week. I know any alcohol can sabotage my fitness goals, but for now at least, I am going to moderate.

 

 

I think this is a great point to work on. I Know that if i say "I iwll never eat X" then I crave it. It is also why I say I never diet, because as soon as I think those words, I want all the things I say I won't eat. So, stick to moderation and go with that. You can always decrease the amount of drinks a week in a future challenge, but getting something that is doable is a huge step

 

5 hours ago, CarolAnnS said:

1. Be More Respected as a Musician
   • I play in a couple of bands, I've been in bands for the past 11 years or so. I can write good lyrics, and my music tends to be funny/entertaining, all of which I'm happy about. Truth is though, I'm not a very good musician. I'd like to be seen as more than funny. I'd like to be seen as a decent musician. Next truth is, I'm totally inconsistent with practicing. I slack off until I have a show, then I cram practicing in at the last minute. 
   • First Challenge: Practice 15 minutes a day. I'm starting by adding consistency to my playing. 15 minutes doesn't sound like a lot, but most days, I don't play at all. This will at least get me playing every day. 

 

This is actually a fairly common thing. I know I tend to get so busy as i go throughout my day, I forget to take time for me. Making yourself take the time is a huge step and I hope it goes well for you.

I am here if you need anything or have a question. I look forward to watching your progress

[zeroh13]

Hi Carol, welcome!

 

Good job on the goals. Don't be afraid to change them if it's harder (or easier) than you though. 

 

Good luck!

 

And don't worry about having a "droll" post, the important thing is just posting in the first place!

[CarolAnnS]

Thanks @zeroh13 and @Bean Sidhe! I'm glad you both mentioned that it's ok to change goals if they turn out to be harder or easier than I think they'll be. I am so "zero-sum' about things. For the past couple of years I've been working on that - not being so 'all or nothing'. I've made some really good progress with that, but it always helps to be reminded that goals are goals, they're not punishments and they're not set in stone. I'm going to make it work for me!

[Wobbegong]

15 minutes ago, CarolAnnS said:

I am so "zero-sum' about things. For the past couple of years I've been working on that - not being so 'all or nothing'. I've made some really good progress with that, but it always helps to be reminded that goals are goals, they're not punishments and they're not set in stone. I'm going to make it work for me!

Great attitude! 

 

One thing I will say, tagging along with Bean and Zeroh: if you do need to change your goals, do it, but make sure you spend some time (even just a minute or two!) thinking about why the goal wasn't working out the way you originally set it up, and how your changes will make the goal more achievable. The idea is to make sure you're setting yourself up for success so that you can stay engaged and keep at it long-term.

 

That said, I think your goals look really thoughtful already. I especially like the "be proud of your body" one: it's so true that we get caught up thinking about the little pieces, like "weigh less" and "be prettier" and "get strong" but in the end it really all comes down to just liking yourself, doesn't it? Keep it up and don't forget to let us know how it goes!

[Bean Sidhe]

33 minutes ago, CarolAnnS said:

Thanks @zeroh13 and @Bean Sidhe! I'm glad you both mentioned that it's ok to change goals if they turn out to be harder or easier than I think they'll be. I am so "zero-sum' about things. For the past couple of years I've been working on that - not being so 'all or nothing'. I've made some really good progress with that, but it always helps to be reminded that goals are goals, they're not punishments and they're not set in stone. I'm going to make it work for me!

 

Oh I understand all too well. I get very upset with myself when I don't do well. But its okay and if you go "Maybe doing this isn't realistic, can I do part of it" is completely okay. Looking forward to seeing how you do. Good luck

[CarolAnnS]

On 8/11/2017 at 0:30 PM, Wobbegong said:

 

That said, I think your goals look really thoughtful already. I especially like the "be proud of your body" one: it's so true that we get caught up thinking about the little pieces, like "weigh less" and "be prettier" and "get strong" but in the end it really all comes down to just liking yourself, doesn't it? Keep it up and don't forget to let us know how it goes!

Thank you! That one bubbled to the top as I was working with my mind map. I had a lot of nodes with various things, one of which was "get strong" just like you used as an example. There were nodes about weight, my hair (it's thin and I'm self-conscious about it sometimes), small stuff like, keep my nails filed. As I looked for patterns I realized that they all rolled up to the fact that I want to be proud of my body. After that, it became clear that I have been piecing my goals up into too many Quests, therefore splitting up my focus and energy into too many pieces. Now that I have one over-arching Quest, it all makes sense to me and I feel more focused. 

 

I really liked the process of thinking through how to set up goals!

[Wobbegong]

2 hours ago, CarolAnnS said:

I really liked the process of thinking through how to set up goals!

That's awesome! I've been hearing a lot of positive feedback about the Big Why search but I haven't done it myself yet. It's definitely on my list, and I'm glad to hear it helped you find some clarity! 

 

Best of luck with your challenge. Let us know if you need anything, we'll be around!

[CarolAnnS]

2 hours ago, Wobbegong said:

That's awesome! I've been hearing a lot of positive feedback about the Big Why search but I haven't done it myself yet. It's definitely on my list, and I'm glad to hear it helped you find some clarity! 

 

Best of luck with your challenge. Let us know if you need anything, we'll be around!

Thanks! I'm sure I'll need help along the way. I'll be there for you, too!

 

If you do go through the Big Why search and need help or anything, just ask! I used a free mind mapping program to help me visualize things. I think that helped me see the logical groupings. There are a lot of programs out there I chose coggle.it because it integrates with Google Drive.

[Wobbegong]

1 hour ago, CarolAnnS said:

If you do go through the Big Why search and need help or anything, just ask! I used a free mind mapping program to help me visualize things. I think that helped me see the logical groupings. There are a lot of programs out there I chose coggle.it because it integrates with Google Drive.

That is good to know! I do a lot of mind-mapping and have been using Scapple (which is not free but was worth it for the convenience) but it bugs me that it doesn't have any online integration, and I do use Drive a lot. I'll take a look at coggle.it, thanks! 

[CarolAnnS]

4 hours ago, Wobbegong said:

That is good to know! I do a lot of mind-mapping and have been using Scapple (which is not free but was worth it for the convenience) but it bugs me that it doesn't have any online integration, and I do use Drive a lot. I'll take a look at coggle.it, thanks! 

Mindmeister is really good - way better than Coggle - if you can pay a little bit! It's not expensive. The nodes are easier to manage, and you can collapse and expand sections easily.

[Bean Sidhe]

5 hours ago, CarolAnnS said:

Thanks! I'm sure I'll need help along the way. I'll be there for you, too!

 

If you do go through the Big Why search and need help or anything, just ask! I used a free mind mapping program to help me visualize things. I think that helped me see the logical groupings. There are a lot of programs out there I chose coggle.it because it integrates with Google Drive.

 

I have never done the mind mapping. But I am not a visual mapping person generally. I may have to try it. Thanks for the suggestion

[CarolAnnS]

Day One is almost a wrap! 

 

I practiced for 15 minutes today. My band has a show Friday, so I worked on a song I haven't been playing on because I didn't know the chords. I'll try to play it on Friday. While I was downstairs practicing, I realized that it could be pretty comfortable practicing in my basement if it wasn't so junked up, so I tidied it up a little and swept it out. 

 

No drinks today. I would like to have some at our show Friday and a party Saturday, so I'm trying to hold off til then. 

 

Lifting is scheduled for tomorrow, Thursday, and Saturday! 

 

My mind feels much more focused, having just a few, doable goals!

[zeroh13]

For the Big Why thing, I just do it in an old notebook with a pencil. We called it brainstorming in school, but it looks like the same thing as mind mapping.

 

This is part of mine:

 

 

[Bean Sidhe]

14 minutes ago, CarolAnnS said:

Day One is almost a wrap! 

 

I practiced for 15 minutes today. My band has a show Friday, so I worked on a song I haven't been playing on because I didn't know the chords. I'll try to play it on Friday. While I was downstairs practicing, I realized that it could be pretty comfortable practicing in my basement if it wasn't so junked up, so I tidied it up a little and swept it out. 

 

No drinks today. I would like to have some at our show Friday and a party Saturday, so I'm trying to hold off til then. 

 

Lifting is scheduled for tomorrow, Thursday, and Saturday! 

 

My mind feels much more focused, having just a few, doable goals!

 

IT sounds like you are making some serious progress. And nothing says you need to clean the entire basement right now. So do some today, and some tomorrow and then you will have a great practice space in no time.

Keep up the good work

 

[CarolAnnS]

Thanks @Bean Sidhe! That's what I was thinking, clean up the basement a little at a time. Tomorrow, maybe I'll do a little more.

[Bean Sidhe]

5 minutes ago, CarolAnnS said:

Thanks @Bean Sidhe! That's what I was thinking, clean up the basement a little at a time. Tomorrow, maybe I'll do a little more.

 

Honestly, I told myself (Before NF) I would spend 5 minutes in my horrible basement. I mean we had like 2 paths and that was it. After a couple of months, you could actually walk around. And we were making weekly runs to charity. And anytime I did the "Well, I am stuck" Guess what, I walked away and dealt with it the next day.

Now I have room to exercise down there. It does work if your willing to just say "This will take time"

[CarolAnnS]

Day Two... 

 

I feel really good about how today went. No credit card usage and no alcohol. I practiced again today, too. I put new strings on my guitar last weekend, and if I don't play them a lot before our show Friday, they won't stay in tune at our show. That alone is good incentive. @Bean Sidhe I love that you got your basement cleaned out little by little! Today I took stock of my record collection - ok. Mostly I just stared at it. But I thought REALLY hard while I stared! I might be ready to sell a lot of it off. Sometime in a later than this one challenge, I think I'll address that. 

 

I also lifted today. We've put together a small but very functional set up in our garage, and I worked out there. It was really humid, so it was a bit of a slog, but I like working out at home vs. the gym whenever I can. I changed my workouts two weeks ago to focus on building strength. Today, my main lifts were Trap Bar Deadlifts and Dumbbell Chest Presses. 

 

Today's workout:

 

Trap Bar Deadlifts: 120 pounds - 8/8/8/8/8 (five sets of 8 reps each)

Dumbbell Chest Presses: 30 pound dumbbells - 8/7/5/6

Barbell High Pull: 40 pounds - 12/12/12

One Arm Dumbbell Row: 30 pound dumbbell - 11/9/10

Kettlebell Swings: 30 pounds - 15/15/15

 

After my workouts, I like to total up how much weight I lifted, then figure out how many average sized manatees it equals. Today I lifted 16.3 manatees. 

 

Time for bed! Thanks for reading this!

[chillenb]

On 10/08/2017 at 10:26 AM, CarolAnnS said:

Quest: Be Proud of my Body

• At first I had a collection of goals, like, lose weight, be strong, etc. As I looked at my mind map, I saw that they all roll up into one master Be Proud of my Body Quest. I don't really care about meeting a number on the scale, but I do care about being healthy and strong, and presenting myself as confident, energetic, and as someone who cares about herself. 

I love this! As others have said it is a beautiful way to express your goal. I share a similar goal, but I don't know if this is something I would be able to articulate it quite as nicely.

 

On 10/08/2017 at 10:26 AM, CarolAnnS said:

Quest: Get Out of Debt

• I've carried debt for a long time. I don't know what I spent some of that money on. This debt holds me back from doing things I want to do, like travel. As part of this Quest, I have steps to pay off this debt. 
• First Challenge: Stop Using my Credit Cards. 'Nuff said. I took them all out of my wallet except for one that truly is for emergencies.  

I love that you are able to say why the debt is challenging the life you want to life. You can do it! I gave up credit cards a couple of years ago, and have only looked back when I accidently misplaced my debit card.

 

On 14/08/2017 at 8:56 PM, Bean Sidhe said:

And anytime I did the "Well, I am stuck" Guess what, I walked away and dealt with it the next day.

I love this!

[zeroh13]

21 hours ago, CarolAnnS said:

After my workouts, I like to total up how much weight I lifted, then figure out how many average sized manatees it equals. Today I lifted 16.3 manatees. 

That is such an awesome idea!

 

And good work!

[CarolAnnS]

@chillenbThanks for your post and support! It's GREAT to hear that you gave up credit cards and manage just fine! 

 

@zeroh13 Thanks! I love manatees, and the image of picking a bunch of them up makes me laugh. I'd have to hug each of them and of course make sure they stay safe and under water!

 

Day Three - We went out to dinner and I paid with my debit card, so no credit card usage, and I only had one beer. Also, even after only three days, I can tell how practicing consistently is going to help my guitar playing. I started working on a new song, too. No workout, one is schedule for today! It involves push presses, which are one of my favorite lifts!

[CarolAnnS]

On 8/14/2017 at 8:38 PM, zeroh13 said:

For the Big Why thing, I just do it in an old notebook with a pencil. We called it brainstorming in school, but it looks like the same thing as mind mapping.

 

This is part of mine:

 

  Hide contents

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah! Same idea! 

[CarolAnnS]

Day Four -

 

Thursday. At this point in the week, I'm usually drinking wine, or I've already had wine. I'm surprised I'm not craving a drink, but I'm also really happy about that. I keep thinking, I can still have six this week, any time I want them. So far, moderation seems to be working for me.

 

I worked out today as planned, too. I was able to add some weight to my squats and push presses. 

 

I didn't practice today, I just flat out ran out of time. So instead, I spent time memorizing lyrics to a new song. I sorta count that. I have to really work at remembering lyrics, and I usually wait til the last minute, so at least I got a jump on it!

 

And my favorite part of today, I got my hair done. Cut, new color, new highlights. I was VERY ready for a change. Before I went, I paid all of my bills so I knew how much money I had, and I paid cash for my 'do. I normally just charge it. 

 

 

[Bean Sidhe]

On 8/15/2017 at 8:38 PM, CarolAnnS said:

 @Bean Sidhe I love that you got your basement cleaned out little by little! Today I took stock of my record collection - ok. Mostly I just stared at it. But I thought REALLY hard while I stared! I might be ready to sell a lot of it off. Sometime in a later than this one challenge, I think I'll address that. 
 

 

But the fact that you thought about it is a huge step in itself. Think home many times you have gone down there nad just ignored it or worst said "Look at all the stuff."  But realistically, I understand waiting to tackle it. This is a matter of you understanding how much you can and cannot do a day. Something I struggle with since I get the "Oh I will do all the things today." At least you have ideas for future challenges.

 

On 8/15/2017 at 8:38 PM, CarolAnnS said:

After my workouts, I like to total up how much weight I lifted, then figure out how many average sized manatees it equals. Today I lifted 16.3 manatees.

 

This is just cool. I am curious to see how that increases as the challenge goes on.

 

9 hours ago, CarolAnnS said:

Thursday. At this point in the week, I'm usually drinking wine, or I've already had wine. I'm surprised I'm not craving a drink, but I'm also really happy about that. I keep thinking, I can still have six this week, any time I want them. So far, moderation seems to be working for me.

 

Great job.

 

9 hours ago, CarolAnnS said:

I worked out today as planned, too. I was able to add some weight to my squats and push presses. 

 

so how many Manatees did you lift?

 

9 hours ago, CarolAnnS said:

I didn't practice today, I just flat out ran out of time. So instead, I spent time memorizing lyrics to a new song. I sorta count that. I have to really work at remembering lyrics, and I usually wait til the last minute, so at least I got a jump on it!

 

Sometimes this just happens. Trust me. At least you were still able to do something that would help.

 

9 hours ago, CarolAnnS said:

And my favorite part of today, I got my hair done. Cut, new color, new highlights. I was VERY ready for a change. Before I went, I paid all of my bills so I knew how much money I had, and I paid cash for my 'do. I normally just charge it.

 

This is a brilliant idea. I bet you felt better knowing you weren't paying for it for the next couple of months.

Sounds like you are doing great. Keep it up

[chillenb]

11 hours ago, CarolAnnS said:

Thursday. At this point in the week, I'm usually drinking wine, or I've already had wine. I'm surprised I'm not craving a drink, but I'm also really happy about that. I keep thinking, I can still have six this week, any time I want them. So far, moderation seems to be working for me.

I love that you are recognizing the choice to drink or not to drink. I think it is the best way to set yourself up for sucess. Feeling like I can't have something is the worst feeling in the world.

 

11 hours ago, CarolAnnS said:

And my favorite part of today, I got my hair done. Cut, new color, new highlights. I was VERY ready for a change. Before I went, I paid all of my bills so I knew how much money I had, and I paid cash for my 'do. I normally just charge it. 

YAYYYYY!! Nicely done! Excellent choices about paying bills first That is a hard thing to remember.