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Lil_Red_Devil goes searching for hope, and her stolen spoons...


Lil_Red_Devil

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So today was bad, then ok, and now bad again. I woke up feeling frazzled, like every nerve had been rubbed raw. But I had a meeting with my supervisor today and had to go early so my SO could make the gym. I got to the office at 8am and treated myself to a coffee. I'm trying to cut back on the caffeine, as it's not good for the bones, but today I needed it. After putting on some Dvorak, my brain started to settle and I got into my project. It was a pain with people constantly jostling around my desk, but I cracked a bit of coding that was driving me batty, so that felt good.

I had lunch outside since it wasn't raining and then went to my meeting, which went very well. I keep the fact that all the work was done in essentially 6 hours of hyper-focus rather than the 3 days of "work time" I've had because, as far as I'm concerned, if the work is getting done on time and the boss is happy, my scheduling isn't relevant.

After the meeting I went back to the office and immediately felt claustrophobic in the cramped environment that had gone up to uncomfortable levels of warm in the 2 hours I was gone. I quickly packed and fled, but got lost in the crowded city centre trying to find a park to hide in until the SO finishes work, so more stress. I'm sitting quietly on a bench now waiting for the panic to pass and trying to ignore the free people that walk by.

I hate cities.

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On ‎8‎/‎23‎/‎2017 at 7:19 AM, Lil_Red_Devil said:

After putting on some Dvorak, my brain started to settle and I got into my project

What a good idea for calming your brain.

Hope tomorrow is a better start.

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"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind' Luke 10; 27

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Hey folks,

 

Sorry for the radio silence but we had a long weekend here in the UK so me and my SO were getting our DIY on.  Let's start from Friday and fill in the blanks:

 

Friday - Hiding from the world.  I got dressed, but didn't leave the house all day.  I didn't even have the energy for yoga.

 

Saturday - Feeling a bit better for resting on Friday, but still a bit short of energy, so I did some gardening outside in spite of the expanding spiders.

 

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Spider in the front garden

 

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Back garden

 

Sunday - Yoga in the morning and some serious DIY work.  The original plan was to replace the slowly leaking bathtub tap, but the aged plumbing in the house means there are no stop valves in the water lines.  Therefore, if we want to replace the tap, we have to shut off water to the whole house and drain the entire system.  This just seems like such a horrid waste of water, so we are putting it off for the moment as the leak is very small.  Instead, we tore down the wall in the spare bedroom to assess how difficult it would be to put in a pocket door.  The answer is "not very", but not for the reasons I expected.  I was worried there would be too little space between the studs and we'd have to do a lot of cutting and shifting.  In reality, there are essentially no studs in the wall because the plasterboard was attached directly over some truly hideous wood panelling.  Chalk it up to another half-assed job done by the previous owners, but at least this one is making the job at hand easier.  We made it out to the DIY store, as well as a trip to the local shop for some drinks after the work was done.

 

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Monday - Went in to town to pick up a suit for my SO, then to Costco to stock up on some essentials.  After that big excursion, I spent the rest of the day binge-watching Vampire Diaries and finishing a crocheted shawl.  

 

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Tuesday - I woke up feeling sore all over, as if the nerves in my muscles were being zapped.  I did my yoga in spite of the pain, managed to get dressed, and forced myself outside for a short walk, but as soon as I got back to the house I was back in my pajamas with my heated cow.  I couldn't get comfortable at all, even in the evening, so I ended up taking some pain killers and slept on the couch so I wouldn't keep my SO awake.  Eventually the pain eased and I did get some sleep, but not much.

 

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Nurse Rosie is best of cows!

 

Today - Felt better this morning and my yoga was much more comfortable.  I decided to go in to the office to join in a good-bye cake for one of my work mates, and even though the sugar is sure to leave me crashing, I made it through the day.  Even my hair and make-up survived, so yay!

 

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Week 2 Summary: Rather similar to week 1, but it felt much more exhausting.  However, I think this is largely down to the amount of time spent out in crowded public places.

 

Yoga/meditation on 5 days - A day short of my goal, but still better than week 1. A-

Get dressed every day - It may not have lasted all day every day, but it did happen. A

Go outside for 10 minutes on 5 days - Nailed this one. A

Don't look at scale - My SO weighed himself and it was hard not to follow suit, but I held on. A

 

Small improvements, but any forward progress is good at this stage.  On to week 3!

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I can't see the pictures.:(Glad the home improvement project went well. I usually find they take longer and are more complicated than I planned.

Yay for another good week. You are an inspiration. The way you have determined to do something,even when you are in pain.

Wisdom 22.5   Dexterity 13   Charisma 15   Strength 21  Constitution-13

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind' Luke 10; 27

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Thursday and Friday kinda melted together in a sea of data collation (blah), but yoga happened (yay) and I made it outside for an ice cream on Thursday.

Friday's outdoors was a bit reminiscent with a trip to the sight of my previous fall (the branch is just visible through the foliage at the top of the picture 15-20 feet up). It was great getting back to the woods, with the wonderful sounds and smells of the forest. It also reminded me of all the people I know who let one accident or injury define the rest of their lives, and I don't want to be that person. I have absolutely no lingering issues from my spinal fractures, and have gotten back to full range of motion in every yoga pose without even a niggle. If I can do that, then I can get past these problems too.DSC_0038.JPGDSC_0042.JPG

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Delayed update because too much hoomans...

Saturday started with a panic attack, which kicked off a brief shouting match with my SO as we had lots to do and a visitor arriving, so me not functioning wasn't an option. We went into town to get building materials, with tasty brunch and a trip to a local theatre that was having a costume sale. Between the eggs on toast, several bundles of discount fabric, and a new mitre saw, I was feeling a bit better.

Our mate arrived in the afternoon and helped us gut the upstairs bathroom and remove more bits from the open wall in preparation for the new door frame. We enjoyed an early dinner and a game of Evolution before I crashed out.

Sunday morning I was a zombie. I managed to feed everyone breakfast, but they had to give up any hope of doing more DIY. I hid in a corner working on my calligraphy while the lads played Resident Evil 6 (?). As much as I love our friends, I was really hoping he would head home once it became obvious I was toast. Unfortunately, no, and I didn't get my couch back until late afternoon. This left very little time for spoon recovery.

Week 3 Round-up:

20 minutes of yoga/meditation on 6 days - managed 4, so B

Get dressed every day - yes but it was a near thing, A

Go outside for 10 minutes on 6 days - managed this, but it hurt my brain meats, A

No looking at the scale - too distracted for this to be an issue, A

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Week 4 is starting badly on the back of an exhausting weekend. Had to go into the office on Monday to have BOTH of my supervisors give me additional work and move up one of deadlines by a week. I needed that like I needed a kick in the teeth. No yoga/meditation as we had to leave the house early. Spent the evening bundled in a nest on the couch.

 

Tuesday I worked from home, so yoga happened and I got my brain back in some sense of order. I didn't leave the house because the weather was as miserable as my mind, but I did get dressed.

 

Wednesday was back in the office to deal with the extra work, so no yoga/meditation. Went out to dinner with the SO, which started nice but very quickly exhausted us both as the restaurant was very crowded and service was slow. I crashed pretty much as soon as we got home.

 

So...tired...

 

 

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Thursday was better-ish. I got my morning yoga in (yay!) but my hip weakness is starting to impact my knee alignment, so need to formulate a plan for that. Went in to work to finish some extra work I got this Monday so I could get going on a poster I have to finish by next Monday. Unfortunately, this supervisor is a perfectionist and seems to have no realisation that I'm not meant to be doing ANY work for her at the moment, so she's sent back several rounds of corrections. Thankfully, one of my colleagues dealt with most of them, but I'm really having to resist the urge to shout at someone. I spent the evening hiding in a nest again, which makes me mad because I started the day well, but finished not even able to take my SO's company :-( I can't wait until the double-scheduling is over.

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