Anaticula - Late Start, But Here at Last

[Anaticula]

Been on again off again here for years. Time to give it a go again. My goals for this go round are fairly simple: food, walking, and tracking.

 

1. Food. My husband and I are taking the kids to Disney World in October. We've been before and I've been getting fatter each trip. Last trip the rides were tight and I've put on about 25 lbs since then. Thus, I need to lose a bit of weight so I can fit on the rides. I've a friend who's going low carb keto and she says it's been working great for her, so I'm giving it a go. From now until October 14th (when we leave for our trip) I'm going to stick to a low carb diet. I started this morning.

 

2. Walking. Disney involves a LOT of walking. Each trip we walked 7 to 12 miles a day. We've been three times, and the day with the least amount of walking we did 6.8 miles, then my phone died, as it was tracking my steps we likely did more than that. The day with the most walking we did 15 or 16 miles, I forget exactly, but that was one day only. On average Disney has us walking 12 miles a day. Yesterday I walked for 30 minutes and got out of breath. I can't do that at Disney. I need to get back in the habit or I'll be in serious pain when the trip rolls around. Starting today I'm going to walk 30 minutes a day on Tuesday and Thursdays. Saturdays my husband, the kids, and I are going to take a long walk in the park for at least an hour. We've two kids, ages 8 and 5 going with us. In the past we rented a double stroller and pushed the kids around. This year our oldest daughter will be walking and we're only getting a single stroller. We will let the kids swap out from time to time, but our oldest is getting too heavy to push. Thus, we all need to get in the habits of long walks. As we get closer to the trip we may increase the walk time. We don't want to push our daughter too hard, but we need her to be ready for the trip. We only get the kids on weekends (I'm step-mom and they live with their mom and step-dad during the week) so they won't have to go on walks every day.

 

3. Tracking. I'm going to make myself log how I'm doing every day. I find that when I don't make the daily posts I tend to slip and get off track. So I should be here each day to at least post photos of what I'm eating if nothing else.

[Anaticula]

Day 1

Breakfast was scrambled eggs and beef broth. I made my lunch last night, beef patties and cabbage. Following the 2 week meal plan from dietdoctor.com. So far I feel good. Not super hungry. Hopefully I'll stay full as the day continues.

[fleaball]

Welcome back! We're here to cheer you on

[Anaticula]

Thanks! It's good to be back.

[zeroh13]

Hi, welcome back!

 

Good luck with your goals.

 

[Anaticula]

Day One - Part Two

 

My day did not go so well and I'm already off to a rough start. my stomach isn't agreeing with all the vegetables I'm eating as it's sued to food that's easier to digest. I did okay though until about 4pm. Around 4 I started to get hungry. I normally get off work at 4:30 then get home from work between 5:30 and 6, meaning i eat at about 6:15. On Mondays I work until 5 and get home for 6:30. It didn't work like that yesterday though. A coworker stopped me on my way out to chat and would not stop talking no matter how many times I mentioned that I needed to leave. I finally managed to get away from her at 5:45 and start the drive home. By then I was so hungry I spent most of the car ride crying about how much my stomach hurts. It's also that time of the month, so I cry a lot easier than I normally would. By the time I got home at 7 I grabbed the closest kind of on my diet thing I could find, a chunk of blue cheese and some pepperoni and shoved them into my mouth I also grabbed a few bites of the leftover  turkey leg my husband was having for supper. I cooked the spinach and fish that was on the meal plan and the 15 minutes felt like forever. Then, it tasted like crap. I ended up crying into a salad with croutons and ranch dressing. Luckily my husband managed to keep me from going totally off track by having water instead of a Pepsi and keeping me away from the icecream. Once I was in bed and not likely to go back to the fridge he went to the store and bought me some beef jerky which he's told me to keep in the car for driving home if I get stuck late at work and in traffic again. 

 

Day Two. It's early, so I'm on track so far. Bacon and eggs for breakfast. Packed a salad with no dressing or croutons for lunch. I need to buy some Italian as it's allowed or make some on my own for next time. I know how to make homemade ranch, which I love, I just didn't have time. I've got my pork chops marinating and the beef jerky in the car. Hopefully today will go better than last night did.

[Anaticula]

Day 2, Part 2 - My salad yesterday went over well. Even with no dressing I still enjoyed it. I was still a little hungry afterwards, so I had 2 pieces of beef jerky and a cup of chicken bullion. After that I felt great. My husband cooked dinner for us, so it was ready when I got home. We did pork chops, green beans, and a salad. We made some crystal lite to go with it. I wanted something sweet later that night and whined and complained a lot. I found a recipe for a low carb hot chocolate and made it, but didn't care for it. It was basically hot water with a little coco powder in it. Didn't finish it. I did have a spoon of chocolate ice-cream. A small spoon as opposed to the usual huge bowl I'd normally have. My husband asked if I wanted to do a walk, but I was feeling crappy so I instead went to bed around 7:30. He has been really great about supporting me, I've been whining and complaining a lot.

 

Day 3. This morning I was too depressed to eat. And I wasn't really hungry. So I skipped breakfast. On the car ride to work I did get a little hungry, so I grabbed a piece of the beef jerky. Now I'm at work sipping on a cup of bullion. It seems to be filling me up. I'm not really hungry, just a tiny bit. I'm trying to get myself into the eat when I'm hungry and only when I'm hungry mindset. It's difficult. Last night with the dessert. I knew I was full, but I still wanted that bite of something sweet. Then when I gave in I felt guilty even though I only had a tiny amount compared to what I would normally have. It's tough. And I know I'm whining all the time right now, but I can't stop. Hopefully next week will be better.

[fleaball]

I've never done low-carb myself, but in reading threads of people who have it sounds like the first few days can make you kind of miserable as your body adjusts? Not sure how low you're going, exactly, but try to remind yourself it's not going to be terrible forever.

[BP88]

15 hours ago, Anaticula said:

Day 2, Part 2 - My salad yesterday went over well. Even with no dressing I still enjoyed it. I was still a little hungry afterwards, so I had 2 pieces of beef jerky and a cup of chicken bullion. After that I felt great. My husband cooked dinner for us, so it was ready when I got home. We did pork chops, green beans, and a salad. We made some crystal lite to go with it. I wanted something sweet later that night and whined and complained a lot. I found a recipe for a low carb hot chocolate and made it, but didn't care for it. It was basically hot water with a little coco powder in it. Didn't finish it. I did have a spoon of chocolate ice-cream. A small spoon as opposed to the usual huge bowl I'd normally have. My husband asked if I wanted to do a walk, but I was feeling crappy so I instead went to bed around 7:30. He has been really great about supporting me, I've been whining and complaining a lot.

 

Day 3. This morning I was too depressed to eat. And I wasn't really hungry. So I skipped breakfast. On the car ride to work I did get a little hungry, so I grabbed a piece of the beef jerky. Now I'm at work sipping on a cup of bullion. It seems to be filling me up. I'm not really hungry, just a tiny bit. I'm trying to get myself into the eat when I'm hungry and only when I'm hungry mindset. It's difficult. Last night with the dessert. I knew I was full, but I still wanted that bite of something sweet. Then when I gave in I felt guilty even though I only had a tiny amount compared to what I would normally have. It's tough. And I know I'm whining all the time right now, but I can't stop. Hopefully next week will be better.

 

Don't let it get you down when you don't follow the plan exactly for the day. I know what you mean about feeling guilty when things get off track a little, but the fact that you are striving to eat well and walk is all that matters right now! If you build those habits, it will be self-sustaining until you reach your goals. All of my success over the last few months can be traced back to just walking 5 minutes a day. It was never going to be enough to make me lose the weight Ive lost, but it showed me I could actually do something consistently day in and day out. Then it dawned on me that if I could make that a habit, then I could make anything a habit. After that my confidence went through the roof and i haven't looked back. Ive kind of figured out (at least for me) that the best mindset has been to trust in the process and not the result at the end of the day. That might sound counter intuitive where you could say all that matters is results, but I firmly believe now that all that matters is your mindset and habits. Ive willed myself to weight loss before by giving up the things I enjoy eating, only to put it all back on because my identity and habits never changed (the day in and day out process) and only the short term daily results changed. But the second you decide to become a healthy person and adopt that as your mindset, the battle is over. You wont have to beat yourself up for slip ups as you change the habits that you have built over time. The simple fact that you are here fighting is enough to say you have what it takes! My wife and I are doing the Whole30 diet right now and its very low carb, and I can personally vouch for how your are feeling. Its normal as your body adjusts. We are on day 11 and I'm just now feeling normal again. Its worth fighting through the short term whining, I promise!

 

And you also have your hands full with all that walking at Disney! My wife and I love the parks and I know exactly what you mean about how much you walk. We took our fitbits one time and it said we walked 12 miles. We couldn't wait to get back to the hotel

 

[Anaticula]

Thanks Fleaball and BP88! It's good to hear from others. I have read up on the diet and they do say the first week is the worst. Next week should be a little easier, then after two weeks the worst of it's supposed to be out of my system. I'm actually rethinking the walking this week. From what I started reading they recommend just focusing on eating for the first two weeks as they know you're going to feel like crap. They say that come the third week you can start adding exercise in because right at first you're just drained of energy and grumpy from the diet change. I think I'm going to take that advice. (The diet website I'm using sends me daily emails to keep up the motivation and exercise was discussed in this one.) I think that if I had waited until next week to start things might have been a little easier (it'd no longer be that time) but I know myself and if I don't start now I'll just keep pushing it back another week each week. Then before I know it the trip will be here. 

 

Day 3 part two - I eat lunch at 11 and started actually feeling hungry around 10:30. I grabbed one of the boiled eggs from my lunch box and snacked on that until actual lunch time kicked in. I added three eggs to my salad, and that helped make it a lot more filling. I didn't have to turn to the beef jerky at all. My husband cooked for me again (he's been super supportive) so supper was ready shortly after I got home. We had pork-rine and coconut crusted drumsticks, salad, and I got 1/3 a baked potato (my husband who isn't dieting got the rest). I wanted dessert again. I know I'm not hungry after supper, but I'm so used to having something sweet and chocolate after dinner that I real REALLY wanted it. I managed to hold off though and just pout about it but not actually get anything. I did think about sneaking a bite from the freezer while my husband was in the other room, but I managed to talk myself out of it. Eventually the craving passed. Tonight I do get something chocolate though as we found a recipe for chocolate coconut milk moose. I'm so looking forward to it. I'm going to pack it into single serving jars and put them in the freezer so they become more ice-cream like, but I'm going to try to limit them. I know that I do need to break the dessert everyday mindset and save dessert for special occasions. 

 

Day 4 - I did the bullion only for breakfast again, but today it isn't going quite as well. It's only 9am, but I'm getting hungry. I'm going to break a few slices of jerky out and have them shortly. Also, my stomach isn't agreeing with all the vegetables I'm eating and the fact that it's that time, so I feel cramped, bloated, and constipated. Not a fun combination. I've read up on it and in addition to being the usual period problems these are all issues that can be caused by the change in diet, so a double dose today, ugh. I've taken my midol and I'm drinking lots of water, so hopefully it'll pass soon. I've packed a smaller salad today with two left over chicken legs and set out the chicken for supper. I have to say I love that my husband is willing to cook each night. If I had to wait until I got home from work and then start cooking I'd be much less likely to follow the diet as I'd be so hungry I'd eat the whole time the food is cooking and possibly end up binge eating. I've always had issues of my eyes being bigger than my stomach and never stopping when I'm full but instead eating everything because it's there and I was hungry earlier. Trying to learn to read my body and understand what it's telling me is a new experience.

 

I'm not looking forward to this weekend. We pick up my step-kids tomorrow night and are going to a friend's to play board games until midnight. We have a tradition that every Friday when we pick up the kids and every Sunday night when we bring them home we stop at McDonald's for supper. These are typically the only times the kids get fast food, so it's a special treat for them and I don't want to break it just because I'm on a diet, but I know I'm going to be tempted to get something too. I LOVE McDonald's french fries. It is going to be so hard to not eat any. I can have the nuggets, a side salad, and a bottle of water and stay on track, but I know I'm going to want fries so bad. It's going to be tough. Sunday will be easier, because I can make my husband drive the kids back to their mom's without me and eat healthy at home, but Friday is going to be a real problem. I'm not the type of person who can order just a small thing of fries and eat only them. Once I eat one I will want them all. I'm not looking forward to Friday night at all right now. 

[Anaticula]

Day 4 Part 2 - Instead of cooking Husband surprised me with dinner out and a movie. We watched the Hitman's Bodyguard. It was so funny. Dinner was okay. I got steak and broccoli and managed to stay away from the rolls. The steak was overdone so I had to send it back. Our waitress was great though and she got everything sorted out with the kitchen. 

 

Day 5 - Today sucks. I want to binge eat so bad as I just got yelled at by my boss. Well, not actually yelled out, spoken to in an angry tone. It was my fault, I messed up. I decided to get a patron's number and call her back with the answer to her question as opposed to putting her on hold. I should know better. I fucked up though. I'm really not cut out for this job. I'm going to start hunting for a new one, which sucks as I just passed my 6 month evaluation and got a 2% pay raise. But I just can't keep doing this. I've only been here a little while and while the pay is great, it just isn't the job for me. Time to start applying elsewhere. Going to do my best to stay away from the junk food today even though I really really want to go get a candy bar to make me feel better.

[Wobbegong]

8 hours ago, Anaticula said:

The steak was overdone so I had to send it back. Our waitress was great though and she got everything sorted out with the kitchen. 

I hate it when I have to send something back or make any kind of complaint at a restaurant, I always feel so anxious about being one of "those" customers. It doesn't happen often, thankfully, but when it does it's so stressful! 

 

8 hours ago, Anaticula said:

Day 5 - Today sucks. I want to binge eat so bad as I just got yelled at by my boss. Well, not actually yelled out, spoken to in an angry tone. It was my fault, I messed up. I decided to get a patron's number and call her back with the answer to her question as opposed to putting her on hold. I should know better. I fucked up though. I'm really not cut out for this job. I'm going to start hunting for a new one, which sucks as I just passed my 6 month evaluation and got a 2% pay raise. But I just can't keep doing this. I've only been here a little while and while the pay is great, it just isn't the job for me. Time to start applying elsewhere. Going to do my best to stay away from the junk food today even though I really really want to go get a candy bar to make me feel better.

Keep it up! You'll make it through. You're still fighting off the first week grouchiness, so it's natural that you'd be feeling pretty bad at this point. Regarding your job, I don't know you well enough to know if it's the diet transition telling you you're not cut out for it or if it's more that the job isn't well-suited to you, but if it's the latter, you should definitely move on! No point forcing yourself to do something you dislike. 

 

I'm proud of you for staying away from those candy bars! At this point, it would probably just prolong your transition phase, which might not actually make you feel better. Try to think about it like that and eat something fatty instead (nuts? not too many) and you might feel a bit better.  You got this!

[fleaball]

Boooo at feeling like you have to find a new job, but also good for you for doing it now instead of forcing yourself to stick it out and making yourself miserable forever in the process.

 

Feeling any better today?

[Anaticula]

I don't have internet at home, except on my phone, and given this weekend I was too tired to put in the effort to post from my phone. Thank you both for checking in though you're messages were emailed to me and it helped me remember to stay on track. I don't normally send food back at restaurants, but given how little I'm allowed to eat on my diet that the restaurant had available I went ahead and did it. Our waitress was very good about it and the manager checked in with us too even though we didn't ask for him. We made sure to tip our waitress well as it wasn't her fault the kitchen cooked it too long. We think what happened is that we both ordered steaks and his was bigger than mine they put them on and took them off at the same time resulting in mine being over done and his being underdone. They got them right the second time though.  For the job I suspect that eventually things would get better, but as I am prone to depression I don't know if I could last that long. I love most of what I do, I even enjoy it at times, but I hate that my boss right now blows up at me in front of everyone over little things. She is only filling in until our real boss gets back in January as she just had back surgery, but I don't know if my depression will let me stick around that long. She (the current boss) doesn't mean to get angry, she is a perfectionist and expects perfection from everyone as that is how she behaves. I'm still learning my job and make mistakes, and when I do she goes off. If she at least pulled me aside and closed the door it would be better, but to see coworkers walking by avoiding eye contact while she reprimands me (not actually yelling, she just naturally speaks loudly) makes me feel horrible. It has only happened twice, but it upsets me. She is a great person the rest of the time, and I know I am sensitive to things like this, so I try to understand she doesn't know how it makes me feel, but it leaves me wanting to cry and depressed for the rest of the weekend. Boss aside though, I know that this job will always be a high stress job even when my real boss returns, it will be very stressful. Add in that it is an hour drive in the morning and an hour and a half to two hour drive home in the evenings I wonder if it is worth it. It pays well, and the pay will get better quicker and go higher than it would at a less stressful location, but I just don't know if I can handle the stress. I stress test once or twice a week and my numbers are always insanely high. (My phone has a tracker that records heart beat and stress levels through a sensor.) Because I'm stressed out at work and can't do anything about it there it makes me bitch and whine and generally be in a bad mood when I'm at home. At this point I think it may be best for everyone if I change jobs. 

 

Anyways, back to the dieting...

Day 5 Part 2 - I struggled, but I managed to keep away from the snack machine. As I'm on floor 13 and it's on the ground floor it takes planning to go grab something and that's one of the few things that saved me. My husband had a dentist appointment, so he was out of it when I got home. (They removed a tooth and the roots broke off and had to be dug out of his jaw.) So I went to get the kids by myself. We did the usual stop at McDonald's and I got a 10 pack of nuggets and a bottle of water. It wasn't great as I seriously missed my french fries, but I managed to do without. On the way home we stopped at the grocery store and I bought some Halo low carb ice-cream. It was disappointing. But it did help with the ice-cream craving. 

 

Day 6 - Husband slept all day thanks to the pain pills. I managed to keep the kids away from him for most of the day, with an exception of taking the cat to the vet and a trip to the store later in the day. Our youngest is food obsessed and asks for snacks every 5 minutes. Because I couldn't eat and had to keep getting her food (not every time she wanted it, but a mid morning and mid afternoon snack is allowed) I ended up snapping at her once or twice telling her to go do something. I had planned to clean house, but that didn't happen. I was in way to bitchy a mood to try, so instead I played on my computer and watched a movie with the kids. They got to watch Ponyo, so for supper I made them ramen with chicken and a boiled egg. They promptly threw a fit saying that they hate ramen, so no supper for them as I ate my chicken and boiled egg plain and my husband had all the noodles. If they hadn't thrown a screaming fit and at least tried the food we would have gotten them something else, but fit throwing means bed without supper as we're trying to teach them screaming doesn't solve your problems. (They're 5 and 8 and get plenty of food, so occasionally missing a meal doesn't hurt them.)

 

Day 7 - The next morning they ate breakfast without a fuss and politely asked for scrambled eggs instead of omelets. We were all grumpy that morning and husband decided to take us out for lunch in hopes it would make us all feel better. We went to a Mexican place and when I checked the carbs on tortillas found out that I can't have them unless I buy special low carb ones, so that eliminated 90% of the menu. Finally found pork and grilled onions with the tortillas on the side. Ate that but left the tortillas alone. We then took the kids to a trampoline land where they got to jump for an hour. Naturally literally the second we left they started throwing fits again and fighting with each other. When we finally made it back to the house 30 minutes later I locked myself in the bedroom and refused to leave for the rest of the day. I did step out long enough to grab a popsicle (I can either have 1/2 cup of disappointing ice-cream or 1 popsicle each day provided I watch my carbs and sugar the rest of the day.) When my husband finally left to drive the kids back to their mom's I managed to pry my ass out of bed and make supper, which I'll have as lunch today. I found a recipe for low carb pizza crust. It's 4 eggs and a cup of cheese mixed together, spread on a pan and cooked at 400F for 15 minutes. Then I put the toppings (cheese, bacon, and grilled onions)on and cooked it another 5 minutes. Much to my surprise the crust came out really good. Almost resembled and actual pizza crust. I'll happily have it again. I'm not sure how well it will reheat today for lunch, hopefully it's okay.

 

Day 8 - At work now. Finally managing to pull myself out of my depression. Had broth for breakfast again. I'm pleasantly surprised that I actually enjoy it for breakfast and it holds me over until lunch time. I've got my left over pizza to eat for lunch and hamburger meat thawing in the fridge for supper. Not sure what I'll make for supper, I'll figure that out later. Hopefully I don't mess anything up at work again and today will be a better day. And hopefully I'll start whining and bitching less as the worst of it is supposed to be over now.

[zeroh13]

12 hours ago, Anaticula said:

I found a recipe for low carb pizza crust. It's 4 eggs and a cup of cheese mixed together, spread on a pan and cooked at 400F for 15 minutes. Then I put the toppings (cheese, bacon, and grilled onions)on and cooked it another 5 minutes. Much to my surprise the crust came out really good. Almost resembled and actual pizza crust. I'll happily have it again. I'm not sure how well it will reheat today for lunch, hopefully it's okay.

I made a low carb pizza for my wife last year, and yeah, they are surprisingly good. I think the crust recipe I used had almond flour and flax seed instead of eggs. I'm pretty sure we just ate the leftovers cold, so I don't know how well it'd reheat (we both really like cold pizza).

 

12 hours ago, Anaticula said:

Add in that it is an hour drive in the morning and an hour and a half to two hour drive home in the evenings I wonder if it is worth it. It pays well, and the pay will get better quicker and go higher than it would at a less stressful location, but I just don't know if I can handle the stress. I stress test once or twice a week and my numbers are always insanely high. (My phone has a tracker that records heart beat and stress levels through a sensor.) Because I'm stressed out at work and can't do anything about it there it makes me bitch and whine and generally be in a bad mood when I'm at home. At this point I think it may be best for everyone if I change jobs. 

It really does sound like this job isn't really worth all that. At the very least, it doesn't hurt to start looking for a new job (even if you do decide to stick it out a little longer).

[Anaticula]

Zeroh13 do you mind sharing the recipe? I'd love to give it a try. 

 

I found a job opening at the first library I worked for years back and I'm going to apply. I remember it being a great place to work for the most part, and even though that may have changed a little I think I will like it much better than where I am at now. I have until the end of next week to apply, so I'm going to work on my application tomorrow as I have the day off for a dentist appointment.

 

Day 8 part 2 - Egg crust pizza does NOT reheat well. It made me sick and I had to leave work. It was a very long drive home with my stomach churning, but I made it home without incident, thank god.  I finally began to feel better around 7. I didn't feel much like cooking, so I microwaved some chicken nuggets and ate them with some olives, a little ketchup, and a popsicle. The bad part about this is now I have no lunch packed for today as I normally eat dinner leftovers. We have a cafe downstairs and several local restaurants that deliver, so I should be able to find something. It might be a mute point though as I'm in Louisiana and they may be sending us home early due to the storm. So far we've just gotten rain and a little wind, but it's supposed to get worse tonight. As the power at my house goes out whenever there is strong wind either my husband or I will pick up some charcoal for the grill as we will likely need it. We have a small grill that is perfect to use on the porch, it'll only do about 2 burgers at a time, but that's never been an issue. We had enough food to make it to the weekend with the power off, and we live on mostly high ground so we shouldn't be affected by the flooring too much. Usually our yard gets soggy, but that's it. The river down the road my flood over leaving the neighborhood stranded, but I don't see it getting so flood we can't get by come this weekend unless the storm stalls out on top of us.

 

Day 9 - Bullion for breakfast again. A little hungry this morning as I didn't have a real dinner last night, but I have jerky if I need it. Didn't bring lunch today, so I'll figure something out later assuming work hasn't closed by then.

 

 

[zeroh13]

On 8/29/2017 at 9:41 AM, Anaticula said:

Zeroh13 do you mind sharing the recipe? I'd love to give it a try.

I'm pretty sure this is the recipe: https://www.ruled.me/low-carb-pepperoni-pizza/

 

It calls for 1 egg, but I may have substituted that with milled flax seed (there's usually directions for that on the flax seed packaging). I don't remember. I do remember that I completely ignored the suggested toppings. The crust is the important part.

[Anaticula]

Thanks! I'm going to give it a try.

 

Lets see...Day 9 was Tuesday? Tuesday I ordered a lettuce wrap sandwich to be delivered. It was pretty good. Work didn't get canceled. I can't remember what we did for supper.

 

Day 10 I was off for a dentist appointment. I cooked eggs and bacon for breakfast. Did some shopping for our upcoming Disney trip. We're going to the Halloween party and need costumes. We're all going as Alice in Wonderland characters (cartoon, not Tim Burton) our 8 year old is being Alice, the 5 year old is going as the Cheshire Cat (she wanted to be the pink hedgehog from the flamingo croquette scene, but we talked her into the cat), the girls decided I need to be the Queen of Hearts. My husband and my brother (he joins us every year, we pay for his food and he babysits when we need a break to rest a few minutes, good deal all around) are going as playing cards. My husband met me on his lunch break and we picked up costume material and grabbed lunch together. We found a Vietnamese place that has egg noodles I can eat. That afternoon I worked on costumes once the dentist appointment was over. FOr supper we did taco salads. 

 

Day 11 (yesterday) was back to work. Bullion for breakfast. A salad for lunch which did not fill me up. I got out the beef jerky, but the smell made me feel gross, so I only choked down one piece. I then sat at my desk moping and debating quitting the diet. I texted my husband telling him I was going to stop and get a cheese burger on the way home. He told me he was cooking supper so to give it one more day. He picked up some steaks and no carb shiitake noodles (I hate mushrooms and he swears they aren't made of mushrooms, given the name I'm fairly certain they are, but I'm not checking to see) with some green beans. He then packed the leftovers for me to bring to work today for lunch. Then, he gave me the bad news. I have labor day off. This was going to be my first day off without the kids around in over a month. We get the kids every weekend. So I was really looking forward to having a day off to relax, not have to worry about feeding the kids or getting the dressed and bathed, no dentist or doctor appointments, a day to relax. Nope. The kids are out of school and his ex has decided she's taking a 3 day vacation, so we have them until Monday night. She decided this Thursday evening and texted him. No warning. No please. Just a I heard your wife is off work she's keeping the kids. Fucking pisses me off. She gets every single weekend without them to rest. I never get a day off. I work 5 days a week and have the kids the other 2 days. Yes, I know when I married him I agreed to the kids too. I love the kids. But I was really looking forward to a day for just me. If she had asked 2 or 3 weeks in advance, I likely would have agreed to it. Or I would have at least had the opportunity to think about it and maybe arrange a babysitter. Instead I was so happy to have a day to relax, now I don't.  If we say no to her she will throw a fit and try to keep the kids from us all weekend. I don't want my husband to miss out on his time with the kids, so we have to keep them the extra day. I know I'm complaining when there are parents who have kids all 7 days a week and don't get a break at all, and I feel bad about that, but I was just so looking forward to a day to rest. 

 

Also, my depression has kicked in really bad this week (which is one more reason I really wanted that day off). I really need to see a doctor about getting on something to help me deal with it all. I spent most of the drive to work this morning crying, but I'm at work now and trying to keep it all together and remember that no matter how bad things get they can get better eventually. I've been getting my resume together and plan to send it in to the job I'm looking at tonight or first thing in the morning. Maybe a less stressful job will help. Part of me even considers whether we could afford for me to take a part time job and have me work at the house just until I can get myself together, but it wouldn't really work. It would mean all our money would go to bills and nothing could be put aside for fun or trips, which would really suck. It was nice to contemplate for a few minutes, but it's just not practical.

[Anaticula]

With all my bitching and whining earlier, I forgot to post my good news. I've lost 10 pounds. I haven't gone down a clothing size yet, but my shirts are feeling a little looser. If I can get from my size 26/28 to a size 22/24 by the time we go to Disney (Mid-October) I MIGHT fit the new Pandora Flight of Passage ride that everyone has been having trouble with. Have to have a waist size of 22/24 or less and a calf size of 22 inches or less to fit on it due to the restraints. No clue what my calf size is, I'll have to measure this weekend to see where I stand.

[zeroh13]

On 9/1/2017 at 10:23 AM, Anaticula said:

He picked up some steaks and no carb shiitake noodles (I hate mushrooms and he swears they aren't made of mushrooms, given the name I'm fairly certain they are, but I'm not checking to see) with some green beans.

They're actually made from a yam. I forget which one. But no mushrooms at all. I've cooked with them a few times. It's one of those foods that doesn't really have a flavor on its own, but works really well in a stir fry. 

 

On 9/1/2017 at 1:49 PM, Anaticula said:

With all my bitching and whining earlier, I forgot to post my good news. I've lost 10 pounds. I haven't gone down a clothing size yet, but my shirts are feeling a little looser. If I can get from my size 26/28 to a size 22/24 by the time we go to Disney (Mid-October) I MIGHT fit the new Pandora Flight of Passage ride that everyone has been having trouble with. Have to have a waist size of 22/24 or less and a calf size of 22 inches or less to fit on it due to the restraints. No clue what my calf size is, I'll have to measure this weekend to see where I stand.

Way to go!

[Anaticula]

Yay for them not being mushrooms! Yams I'm totally fine with.

 

So, the bad news. I broke my diet. I spent most of Friday night and Saturday morning crying. Tears and snot everywhere because I wanted real ice cream and couldn't have any. My husband, trying to make up for me having to watch the kids on Monday, offered to take them out for the day to go swimming. I still kept crying. The kids were getting worried too and kept asking if everything was okay. (Yeah, they were worried Friday night after we got our McDonald's (just nuggets and water for me) and I sobbed the whole way home. I decided I couldn't do it any longer. I was miserable. My husband and kids were worried and upset too. I ate the ice cream. And suddenly I felt so much better. I felt fine. I managed to stop crying and went swimming with the kids. We visited my husband's parents and all went out for supper together. I ate pizza (including the crust) and felt fine. My stomach issues I'd been having stopped. I felt much better than I had felt for the past two weeks. Sunday we cleaned the house (only the kitchen/dinning room and living room, but still) did all the dishes and laundry and then went to play board games with friends. Monday I watched the kids and everything went fine. (Okay, I did yell at them once for getting WAY too loud while I was working on something and needed some quiet after I'd already asked them to keep it down 3 times.) I filled out the job application for the job I'm looking into. (I still need my school transcript, I've called and emailed and am just waiting for them to send it.) The thing that confuses me though is I felt so much better when I went back to the bread and sugar. I've heard giving it up then going back normally makes you sick. The only issue I have had is a little heart burn. I'm really confused now, because even though I was full and eating less when I was on the diet I felt worse. I was miserable and making everyone else feel like crap too. DO I go back to low carb and make everyone miserable or do I eat carbs and feel better but not lose weight. I'm kind of lost right now. 

[zeroh13]

If I remember right from when my wife tried it, there can be an adjustment period (of complete miserableness) both ways. And it could last anywhere from a few days to a month. But if your body is still used to carbs (in the first adjustment period), you don't really get that when you stop the diet. 

 

You can eat carbs and still lose weight. The low carb diet isn't the only method out there. And it isn't necessarily the best method. The best one is the one you can stick to, and doesn't leave you feeling miserable all the time. Bonus points if it helps you replace bad habits with good habits, because if you go back to eating how you used to after you've lost the weight, you'll just end up getting it back.

 

One of the reasons low carb works for a lot of people is that it's essentially a restriction diet. Less processed junk, more home cooking using real food. And I think that's the important part. If you want to eat bread, go for it. Just read the ingredients list and try to find something without a bunch of preservatives and artificial stuff, or a bunch of things that sound like you need a chemistry degree to understand. Or better yet, make your own.

 

I'd make a note of the things you didn't have cravings for, and continue stay away from them. If there's something you enjoy, like ice cream, make it a special treat instead of avoiding it completely. And savor it while you eat. If it doesn't make you happy, try to find a healthier alternative.

[Anaticula]

I think you have a really good point. I'm totally fine with skipping out on bread and pasta. They're nice foods, but nothing special to me. Ice cream however is a must have. I will admit, it is a comfort food. I eat it and it makes me feel better mentally. I just need to learn to eat a small portion of it instead of a huge bowl. I think if I can train myself to follow portion sizes I will be okay. My issue previously was that I would eat a pint of ice cream, or two or three popsicles instead of one serving size bowl or one popsicle (the chocolate fudge ones). Maybe that should be my focus. Learning portion size and actually measuring out the amount of sweets I have. I've also an addiction to soda. I can easily drink 3 or 4 cans of rootbeer in a day. However, I managed to give them up for the two weeks. It was tough the first 2 or 3 days, but then I got to the point I was okay with it. This weekend, as part of my 'relax, eat what you want' weekend I had rootbeer again, and I actually told a friend that I had to leave the box with them or I would drink them all. I took two home and sure enough, even when I wasn't thirsty I grabbed them just to have something. I think I'm going to cut the soda out permanently at home and work. I will allow myself A (one) coke or rootbeer at a restaurant, but then I will switch to water. At home and work I'll stick to the carbonated lemon water we found (it's really good, there is a lime version that is even better, but kind of hard to find) or water from the cooler (at work). This will cut out a lot of calories that I don't need.

 

Job application is submitted. I had to email them my transcription as it arrived after I sent the application, but as I technically still have until 11:59 pm tonight they allowed their HR to add it to my application. I'll hear back in two weeks if I'm going to hear anything. I used to work at this same company in a different position and got to be on the hiring committee once. Last time they received 50 applications for a similar spot. The committee looked over the applications for 2 weeks and picked the best 10. Those 10 did phone interviews. They were then narrowed down to three for in-person interviews. The top two candidates then got to speak with the director who made the final decision between them and the job offer. If I don't hear anything back in two weeks (three at max) I know I did not make the cut. Here's to hoping I make it! I would love to go back to this library as I loved the environment. I only left because due to department shifting they did away with a position. Because the person who was filling it had 10 years more seniority than I did she was allowed to bump me from my spot and take it. The position I'm applying for now is a much better one that is a permanent spot and cannot be removed due to budget cuts. I potentially could still be fired if I screwed up, but that's true for any job.

[fleaball]

Good luck on the application! 

 

Question: do you drink caffeinated root beer or the regular kind? If there's caffeine in it just be aware of potential caffeine withdrawal. I've seen a lot of people cut out soda and forget that so I just remind everyone when I see it now.

[Anaticula]

No worries, I drink Mug, which doesn't have caffeine. Occasionally I'll have an IBC, but as they're in the glass bottles and more expensive it's a rare treat or an A&W which is hard to find here. Some restaurants do have Barqs (which does have the caffeine), but it's usually well marked. I like Mug better as it has a little more sweetness to it than Barqs.