TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted September 11, 2017 Report Share Posted September 11, 2017 Well. Um. Hi guys. I'm back. I've been gone for a good long while. I'll explain why but I'll hide it because it's a long explanation. Spoiler Okay so after my grandfather died in November, I gained a bit of weight b/c grief. Right before my April wedding, we realized that I couldn't fit in my wedding dress. (Thanks sales person who sold me a 10 when I tried on a 12). So, to fix that, I did a hardcore crash diet. I was using MFP and was running on a 500-1000 calorie deficit daily. My normal average deficit was 700 calories. It was really bad. I was screwing myself over and I knew it. Fast forward to after the wedding. I gained back every one of the 15 pounds I lost that month before my wedding. Plus an extra 15+. I couldn't keep it together, I was SO. DONE. Finally, a couple months ago, I found Intuitive Eating. The whole concept behind intuitive eating is to teach people with disordered understandings of food how to listen to their body's needs. It teaches you tactics that you can use to fix your hunger and fullness signals. I've been working on it, and I think I've got a fair foundation. Most of the binge eating that I've been struggling with for the past several years has stopped. I feel more comfortable just eating until I feel full and less overeating. It's a slow process, but I've made a lot of progress over the past few weeks. I don't really know what's next. So yeah. I'm back. I've got a foundation and I think I'm ready for another challenge. This time, I'm going to do a different structure. I'm going to do things based on percentages and change my stats based on my real world stats over the next month. Another major change I'm making is that instead of trying to remove habits that exist, I'd like to add in new habits. The whole point of intuitive eating isn't deprivation, it's learning what you really want instead of what you feel like you are "supposed" to eat. So without further ado, this month's challenge! Goal 1- 2 Workouts Per Week 6/ 8 7 So I want to start working out again, but I don't want to really tie myself down into a specific kind of workout. Right now I'm primarily running with the c25k app. I'm going very slowly and only moving on when the workout is easy for me. But if I don't feel like doing that, I could use the elliptical, I could do a strength training workout if I wanted, it's just whatever I feel like doing. I just want to get back in the habit of moving more often. Goal 2- Stretch 2 times a week 14/16 I loved being flexible. I really enjoyed stretching regularly. So I'm going to stretch twice a week aside from with each workout. It feels good to stretch too, and I need that. Goal 3- Cook tasty home made food twice a week 7/8 So both my husband and I are exhausted when we get home from work and we eat a lot of frozen food. I want to re-introduce more tasty cooked things into our diets. He won't mind, and I am learning to enjoy cooking sometimes. As well as learning to cook properly. I've got a handful of things I can cook quickly, as well as a few crock pot recipes that are tasty as well. Well that's all that I have for now. I'll add in more as I feel more confident. 3 goals are plenty for this time. Can't wait to get moving! Edit- So I'm adding one more goal. Goal 4- Self Care 2 times a week 6/8 I have to take care of myself. Do small things that are outside of my normal routine that count as self care. It could be a bath, a face mask, journaling, buying myself something, reading, whatever. But if I take care of myself, I can learn to love myself. Basically I'm intentionally treating myself with some TLC so that I can learn to love myself. Well, that's a well rounded challenge now. 4 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted September 11, 2017 Report Share Posted September 11, 2017 Following along again! Glad to see you back in the challenges. 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
starpuck Posted September 11, 2017 Report Share Posted September 11, 2017 Welcome back my fellow Jedi. These temptations and jaunts to the darkside happen to all of us. One might even say you have to face those dark moments to truly embrace the light. Good on you for steering back and taking such a great path. (I've heard of that program before and it sounds wonderful!) Goals look great! You can do this! 1 Quote Level 83 ~*~ Ranger Deviant Art Gallery || YouTube Channel Current Challenge "It is difficult. All things worth keeping are." Thane Krios - Mass Effect 2 "Maybe it's not as simple as you imagined, Seeker." Varric Tethras Dragon Age 2 "Staying within your limits is no fun, Ryder." Vetra Nyx - ME: Andromeda Spoiler ::PAST CHALLENGES:: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 43 | 44 | NEIN | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48| 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | 77 | 77.5 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 82 | 83 | 84 | 85 | 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 | 90 | 91 | 92 | 93 | 94 | 95 | 96 | 97 | 98 | 99 | 100 Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted September 11, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 11, 2017 17 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said: Following along again! Glad to see you back in the challenges. Thanks! I'm glad to be back 5 minutes ago, Starpuck said: Welcome back my fellow Jedi. These temptations and jaunts to the darkside happen to all of us. One might even say you have to face those dark moments to truly embrace the light. Good on you for steering back and taking such a great path. (I've heard of that program before and it sounds wonderful!) Goals look great! You can do this! Thanks! It's really done a lot of good for me. I'm finally starting to see food as it is rather than my enemy. I'm learning to enjoy foods, and I'm learning what I don't enjoy. I'm not afraid of certain foods anymore, and I've learned to feed myself when I'm hungry. I'm doing better about stopping when I'm full now too! It takes time to learn. 1 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted September 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 13, 2017 Alright. So I'm kinda stuck in the middle of a binge cycle, and have been for a few days :/ Highly distressing. But every meal is a new chance to break the cycle and today will be the day! I know it! I plan on cooking dinner tonight - homemade fajitas is the goal. Pan fajitas this time since me and fajitas don't always work well together when a crock pot is involved. So last night, as I was getting in the shower, I was thinking. Getting into the shower is the worst part of my day. Not the shower itself, but right before I get in while I'm waiting for the water to warm. That's the one time when I see my own body as it is. And I hate it. I hate looking at it. I tend to get tied into a downward spiral where I just can't stop looking at the "bad" parts of my body and wanting to destroy them. But last night I went out of my way to try to kill those thoughts by thinking about the things my body can do as it is. Like when I looked at my hips, instead of thinking something negative, I thought My hips are good because they're a good place to hold small kids like my nephew. And when I looked at my thighs I thought I can run and walk on those legs. And I thought of other things my body can do. And it was fairly good at distracting me from hating my body. I really really need to tackle that. If I can work on my self worth, I think the rest of the problems will fall into place. If I can stop hating the home that my soul resides in, I can begin to take care of it better. I think I'm also going to add "self care" to this month's challenge. I have to do something twice a week that's outside of my normal "routine" that is some form of self care. It can be journaling, reading, a face mask, a bath, buying myself something small, meditating, whatever. Something that is a form of self care. It will encourage me to love myself, I hope. 3 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
Mr_Willes Posted September 14, 2017 Report Share Posted September 14, 2017 18 hours ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: But every meal is a new chance to break the cycle and today will be the day! I know it! Use this to make it your next (meal). This is so true for so many things, the first workout. The first day without liquor. That last cigaret. You name it, the step usually is quite easy but taking it is what is hard. DO IT NOW!!! I don't know if it makes sense, but when i look at my body i also see things i hate, but i also know (from previous experience) i can do better and everything becomes easier. I also see bodyfat floating around my torso (but not on my arms and legs apparently) and i know, for a fact, that WHEN i lose some of it i will come in an upward spiral, my running will become better my bodyweight workouts will become easier, my Wilks score will go up and i will generally just feel better. Short term goals are my problem, i just need to give them a lower priority, you can't make solid changes on a short term, which doesn't mean i don't appreciate the small changes. I lost 1 KG of bodyweight last challenge, from which about 0.8 KG bodyfat. That's fantastic and is extremely helpful in reaching my goal of losing another 7 KG before June next year (when i want to compete in a beginner powerlifting meet in the -74KG weight class). It also helps a lot for my 20 mile OCR i want to do in May. But it was less helpful for the OCR i'm doing sunday... Try to look at the bigger picture. Don't know if my rambling helped you any, i only hope so! Quote ... a little odd in the head ... Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted September 14, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 14, 2017 5 hours ago, mr_willes said: Use this to make it your next (meal). This is so true for so many things, the first workout. The first day without liquor. That last cigaret. You name it, the step usually is quite easy but taking it is what is hard. DO IT NOW!!! I don't know if it makes sense, but when i look at my body i also see things i hate, but i also know (from previous experience) i can do better and everything becomes easier. I also see bodyfat floating around my torso (but not on my arms and legs apparently) and i know, for a fact, that WHEN i lose some of it i will come in an upward spiral, my running will become better my bodyweight workouts will become easier, my Wilks score will go up and i will generally just feel better. Short term goals are my problem, i just need to give them a lower priority, you can't make solid changes on a short term, which doesn't mean i don't appreciate the small changes. I lost 1 KG of bodyweight last challenge, from which about 0.8 KG bodyfat. That's fantastic and is extremely helpful in reaching my goal of losing another 7 KG before June next year (when i want to compete in a beginner powerlifting meet in the -74KG weight class). It also helps a lot for my 20 mile OCR i want to do in May. But it was less helpful for the OCR i'm doing sunday... Try to look at the bigger picture. Don't know if my rambling helped you any, i only hope so! I liked hearing your POV on things I do have to be careful at how much focus is on my body. I've got some VERY disordered thoughts about my body. So for me, the best thing to do is not to focus on the way it looks, but to focus on what it does and can do. Like- yeah maybe I don't like the way my legs look. But how much more will I like them when they can carry me at a run for a mile? Two miles? My goals have to be very focused on building good habits and the ability to do things. Like right now, I'm trying to build my good habits back up. Slowly. And also I have goals to figure out how to block the disordered thoughts and reframe them. Okay. So yesterday I DID break the cycle Yay! I also cooked dinner (chicken fajitas) and it was super tasty. However, thanks to the dinner, I didn't get to go to the gym. I didn't get dinner finished until like 8pm. In which case I still had to eat, clean up, and a bunch of other stuff. By 9:30 I wasn't feeling well so I showered and went to bed. But tonight, I'll be fine to go for a run. Or whatever I decide to do. But it'll probably be a run. 1 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted September 15, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2017 Last night I did go for my run It was so nice! I really needed it. I was in a bad mood and while it didn't fix things, I got some of my energy out. Thanks to my friend Ensi here on the forums, I have also been looking into schemas/schema therapy. It's very interesting how maladaptive thought processes evolve and become such a part of our lives. Right now, I'm not really trying to do anything about these problematic thoughts. I'm more just trying to notice them. I'll never be able to completely get rid of them, the thing to do is learn how to cope with them and derail them. But the first thing to do is to take note of the thoughts themselves. A lot can be changed by just being aware of my thoughts. I've been eating fairly acceptably, but right now I'm just trying to learn to stay in contact with my body and eat based on how it feels. That's working a lot better than it used to, thankfully. It kinda makes me happy that I'm learning to listen to my body. I'm going to be spending a lot of time with people I care about over the next few days and I'm so excited Have a great Friday all! 3 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
Dusk Posted September 17, 2017 Report Share Posted September 17, 2017 Heyyyyy! I am here to follow! It's great reading about all the things you're learning about yourself. <3 Hope you had a lovely weekend!! 1 Quote Link to comment
starpuck Posted September 17, 2017 Report Share Posted September 17, 2017 On 9/13/2017 at 8:51 AM, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: That's the one time when I see my own body as it is. And I hate it. I hate looking at it. I tend to get tied into a downward spiral where I just can't stop looking at the "bad" parts of my body and wanting to destroy them. But last night I went out of my way to try to kill those thoughts by thinking about the things my body can do as it is. Like when I looked at my hips, instead of thinking something negative, I thought My hips are good because they're a good place to hold small kids like my nephew. And when I looked at my thighs I thought I can run and walk on those legs. And I thought of other things my body can do. And it was fairly good at distracting me from hating my body. I really really need to tackle that. If I can work on my self worth, I think the rest of the problems will fall into place. If I can stop hating the home that my soul resides in, I can begin to take care of it better. I have struggled with this. It gets better and then I have my lapses. I love what you're doing to tackle it- because it works. I did a challenge, where I had to not only compliment my body, but do it with a picture and a post on the forums. It was terrifying! But It really helped me to be so bold and really face my own negativity. Since I've slacked quite a bit lately, I am again struggling with those old demons, so I will join you on this endeavor this challenge! I am going to report in once weekly on a body positive post! Our bodies ARE great. They do amazing things. And they are great just as they are! If we want to help a friend out (our body hehe) and fuel them better, and exercise them, and stretch them, AWESOME! But it's because it will help us make them even betterer. 3 Quote Level 83 ~*~ Ranger Deviant Art Gallery || YouTube Channel Current Challenge "It is difficult. All things worth keeping are." Thane Krios - Mass Effect 2 "Maybe it's not as simple as you imagined, Seeker." Varric Tethras Dragon Age 2 "Staying within your limits is no fun, Ryder." Vetra Nyx - ME: Andromeda Spoiler ::PAST CHALLENGES:: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 43 | 44 | NEIN | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48| 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | 77 | 77.5 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 82 | 83 | 84 | 85 | 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 | 90 | 91 | 92 | 93 | 94 | 95 | 96 | 97 | 98 | 99 | 100 Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted September 18, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 18, 2017 20 hours ago, Shadri said: Heyyyyy! I am here to follow! It's great reading about all the things you're learning about yourself. <3 Hope you had a lovely weekend!! Thanks <3 My weekend was really nice, I got to spend time with my friends from all over and it was so great! Husband and I went to community group together for the first time too! Gah. So awesome 18 hours ago, Starpuck said: I have struggled with this. It gets better and then I have my lapses. I love what you're doing to tackle it- because it works. I did a challenge, where I had to not only compliment my body, but do it with a picture and a post on the forums. It was terrifying! But It really helped me to be so bold and really face my own negativity. Since I've slacked quite a bit lately, I am again struggling with those old demons, so I will join you on this endeavor this challenge! I am going to report in once weekly on a body positive post! Our bodies ARE great. They do amazing things. And they are great just as they are! If we want to help a friend out (our body hehe) and fuel them better, and exercise them, and stretch them, AWESOME! But it's because it will help us make them even betterer. Thanks I might have to try that. It seems like it would be a very useful way to tackle body insecurities. So this challenge has gotten off to a little bit of a slow start for me. I was going to do my weekend workout yesterday but it just didn't happen. I was exhausted from walking around in the mountains on a college campus for most of the day, and I was super busy what with going to community group with my husband for the first time (!!!) We spent time with friends and got to know some new people. It was the best <3 The plan for today is to go to the gym after work. My husband was planning on watching his favorite football team play tonight and I figured I could use that time to work out since I don't really care about football. Hopefully I'll be able to do so. I was planning on having the last of the leftover fajitas for dinner but I don't know now. Rant alert Spoiler So I'm so frustrated right now. I really really hate being a nice person. Both my husband and I are super nice, and it sucks sometimes. We have this friend who asked us if he could stay with us for like 2-3 weeks because he was supposed to have a short term temporarily job in a different spot from his usual one. He doesn't have a car but his aunt drove him to work. But he ended up staying at the other location for almost 3 months. And thus in our house. Over the course of three months he gave us less than $200, which doesn't even cover the food that he ate, let alone the fact that he was staying in and making a mess of our house that I was cleaning up. Then we drove him a couple of hours away to an airport to go see his girlfriend in Germany and he still didn't bother to help us out. Now, I don't like asking people for money if I can help it. But Husband and I are newlyweds. He's working a crap job right now for not very good pay. We literally cannot afford to take care of a third person. If we had the money, this would be less of an issue. But he knows we're not well off. And he's still taking advantage of us so much. He's got half of his crap that I've thrown in the closet and if he doesn't take it soon, every bit of it is going to the Goodwill. But I'm too nice not to help him when he needs it. And now he's going to be staying with us again because he mentioned that he was having to choose between missing work for several days and having to sleep outside at a sketchy apartment complex. And I know he did that on purpose. So now I've got people to feed and we're gonna end up getting pizza or something when I want to eat fairly healthier. But I always get super anxious when I eat something different from the people around me for the purposes of healthy. It feels... wrong. I feel anxious eating in front of people anyway, and when I'm specifically eating something different from others because it's healthier I feel extra extra anxious. I don't know. Well anyway, that's my update. Have a great day all. Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted September 18, 2017 Report Share Posted September 18, 2017 I'm sorry you're going through that with the "Friend." First off, that person is not a friend, he is abusing the two of you. It's time to set some boundaries. You are not helping him by enabling his laziness. Let him sleep in some sketchy places, it's the only way he might possibly get motivated to make a positive change. 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
starpuck Posted September 18, 2017 Report Share Posted September 18, 2017 I agree with Tank on the situation. If you can gift someone with help and care above and beyond ones normal call of duty, and all it does is encourage them to continually mooch and take advantage, then they're not going to learn by example and get their act together - they're gonna take the free ride. A serious talk, with an absolute line in the sand being drawn, is now necessary. And then stick to your guns. It will be hard, but if you are forthright and upfront from the beginning, you have NO reason to feel bad about HIS decision to react. Hang in there girl. It's a rough ride right now, but I know you can do it. Lean as much as you need here, rant until your ... fingers go numb? We'll have your back. 2 Quote Level 83 ~*~ Ranger Deviant Art Gallery || YouTube Channel Current Challenge "It is difficult. All things worth keeping are." Thane Krios - Mass Effect 2 "Maybe it's not as simple as you imagined, Seeker." Varric Tethras Dragon Age 2 "Staying within your limits is no fun, Ryder." Vetra Nyx - ME: Andromeda Spoiler ::PAST CHALLENGES:: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 43 | 44 | NEIN | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48| 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | 77 | 77.5 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 82 | 83 | 84 | 85 | 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 | 90 | 91 | 92 | 93 | 94 | 95 | 96 | 97 | 98 | 99 | 100 Link to comment
Dusk Posted September 18, 2017 Report Share Posted September 18, 2017 I third what Tank said. I have a family member who exhibited the same behaviors, and no amount of help - from a multitude of family members - ever set them straight. People like that will always take the free ride. Don't let yourself get walked on in the name of being nice. Let me know if you need anything, or ever want to talk. (I got a new email address, so hopefully the issues we had before would be averted!) <3 <3 <3 1 Quote Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted September 19, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 19, 2017 23 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said: I'm sorry you're going through that with the "Friend." First off, that person is not a friend, he is abusing the two of you. It's time to set some boundaries. You are not helping him by enabling his laziness. Let him sleep in some sketchy places, it's the only way he might possibly get motivated to make a positive change. Well I spoke to my husband yesterday and apparently I misunderstood a couple of things. Our friend didn't just drop it in casual conversation, it actually came up naturally. He'd asked Husband for a ride, and then later said not to worry about it because if he went home he wouldn't be able to work for a few days and that's all he said. Husband asked me before talking to dudebro. So basically I have no one to blame for this but myself for being too nice. Friend actually had planned to sleep in sketchy places. *shrug* 23 hours ago, Starpuck said: I agree with Tank on the situation. If you can gift someone with help and care above and beyond ones normal call of duty, and all it does is encourage them to continually mooch and take advantage, then they're not going to learn by example and get their act together - they're gonna take the free ride. A serious talk, with an absolute line in the sand being drawn, is now necessary. And then stick to your guns. It will be hard, but if you are forthright and upfront from the beginning, you have NO reason to feel bad about HIS decision to react. Hang in there girl. It's a rough ride right now, but I know you can do it. Lean as much as you need here, rant until your ... fingers go numb? We'll have your back. I think what needs to happen is that my husband and I really need make sure we work together to just not let each other do more than we really can cope with. We're both too nice. Based on what I mentioned above, I don't think friend would have had any issues if we hadn't even asked, but we both are just a little more open handed than we really can cope with being. And thanks It's nice to know that I have friends to talk to about things when I'm annoyed and frustrated. <3 14 hours ago, Shadri said: I third what Tank said. I have a family member who exhibited the same behaviors, and no amount of help - from a multitude of family members - ever set them straight. People like that will always take the free ride. Don't let yourself get walked on in the name of being nice. Let me know if you need anything, or ever want to talk. (I got a new email address, so hopefully the issues we had before would be averted!) <3 <3 <3 I mean, I always enjoy talking to you, friend <3 so I'm always open to a chat, and you're welcome to chat with me as well about things. ~~~ So report on yesterday. I really didn't want to go for a run at all. I was grumpy and annoyed about saying yes to something that I know that I shouldn't have. And stressed. I did binge a little bit, but I learned that most of my binges are now tied to stress. So that's a significant improvement- they don't tend to come out of boredom (I have found different things to do when I'm just eating bored) or just randomly. But even though I didn't go running, I took a book down to the gym and sat on the stationary bike for a while listening to music. I got a workout in, and I got to read (AKA- relax). I specifically went down there knowing that reading would calm me down. So in a way, I supplemented my stress binge with a second stress relieving behavior (reading) as well as one which will lower stress chemicals (exercising). Hopefully I'll eventually be able to train myself to, a majority of the time do something other than "emotionally eat." Though I'm of the opinion that sometimes the only cure for what ails you is chocolate. Bless my lovely husband who is going to cook tonight so I don't have to cook on the same night I have to work late. We only have a couple of days to deal with this stress of having this dudebro nearby and then we can sit down and talk about how we're going to handle this next time. As a bonus, I'm thinking of giving dudebro an ultimatum that if he doesn't get his assorted crap out of my house (clothes and random assorted objects) from previous stays, it's all going to the Goodwill or the trash. Husband was going to talk to him about getting his stuff out of the house anyway since he's here. 2 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
Mr_Willes Posted September 20, 2017 Report Share Posted September 20, 2017 20 hours ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: We're both too nice. Yes you are, but changing that isn't what needs to be done. Just keep being nice, but work out a system so others don't take advantage of it. 20 hours ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: my husband and I really need make sure we work together I think you will be fine, you've got someone around to try it out on... 1 Quote ... a little odd in the head ... Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted September 20, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2017 3 hours ago, mr_willes said: Yes you are, but changing that isn't what needs to be done. Just keep being nice, but work out a system so others don't take advantage of it. I think you will be fine, you've got someone around to try it out on... Lol thanks And yeah, that's something neither of us has really done much of. So yesterday was... interesting. I worked super late on a project that needs finishing this week so I was exhausted. My husband cooked dinner, which was super nice. I'm counting that towards the homemade dinner goal because we decided on the homemade meals together. Just because I don't specifically cook doesn't mean we didn't get a homemade meal. Today I'm going to worry about stretching and self-care. I don't like what it says about me that the self care goal was the one I forgot about >_> I'm probably going to meditate today. Just take like 5 mins out of my day and meditate. I haven't in a while but I think it would be a good thing to do for self care right now since I'm so busy that I'm not taking hardly any time for myself. Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
starpuck Posted September 20, 2017 Report Share Posted September 20, 2017 These all sound like good plans! It's amazing how quickly that self care becomes the 'thing we push aside'. Even in the name of doing other things we've decided are good for us. Juggling was never supposed to be part of this getting healthy thing! Yet here I am throwing pins. I love that your hubby is on board with the meals- that is so helpful. And that he cooked it? HUZZAH! 1 Quote Level 83 ~*~ Ranger Deviant Art Gallery || YouTube Channel Current Challenge "It is difficult. All things worth keeping are." Thane Krios - Mass Effect 2 "Maybe it's not as simple as you imagined, Seeker." Varric Tethras Dragon Age 2 "Staying within your limits is no fun, Ryder." Vetra Nyx - ME: Andromeda Spoiler ::PAST CHALLENGES:: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 43 | 44 | NEIN | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48| 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | 77 | 77.5 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 82 | 83 | 84 | 85 | 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 | 90 | 91 | 92 | 93 | 94 | 95 | 96 | 97 | 98 | 99 | 100 Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted September 20, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2017 58 minutes ago, Starpuck said: These all sound like good plans! It's amazing how quickly that self care becomes the 'thing we push aside'. Even in the name of doing other things we've decided are good for us. Juggling was never supposed to be part of this getting healthy thing! Yet here I am throwing pins. I love that your hubby is on board with the meals- that is so helpful. And that he cooked it? HUZZAH! It's actually kinda upsetting. I'm a better human if I take some time for self care tbh. I need to do it more often. Thus my goal He loves cooking we have an agreement that whoever doesn't cook, cleans up after. And since he hates the cleaning up part (and I don't mind since cooking isn't really my thing), everyone is happy. Though I am cooking again tonight. Last night was an accidental Taco Tuesday. Tonight is chicken/veggie alfredo! (or tomorrow, I'm not sure) Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
starpuck Posted September 20, 2017 Report Share Posted September 20, 2017 That's the same rule we have at my place. Cooker doesn't clean. Cleaner doesn't cook. 1 Quote Level 83 ~*~ Ranger Deviant Art Gallery || YouTube Channel Current Challenge "It is difficult. All things worth keeping are." Thane Krios - Mass Effect 2 "Maybe it's not as simple as you imagined, Seeker." Varric Tethras Dragon Age 2 "Staying within your limits is no fun, Ryder." Vetra Nyx - ME: Andromeda Spoiler ::PAST CHALLENGES:: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 43 | 44 | NEIN | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48| 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | 77 | 77.5 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 82 | 83 | 84 | 85 | 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 | 90 | 91 | 92 | 93 | 94 | 95 | 96 | 97 | 98 | 99 | 100 Link to comment
starpuck Posted September 20, 2017 Report Share Posted September 20, 2017 This just showed up in my email... I have followed Girls Gone Strong for a while and they just kicked this out. Since it was something we were both just talking about, I thought I'd share it! I might even sign up for the 7 day challenge! https://www.girlsgonestrong.com/blog/confidence/body-embracement/lybc/ 1 Quote Level 83 ~*~ Ranger Deviant Art Gallery || YouTube Channel Current Challenge "It is difficult. All things worth keeping are." Thane Krios - Mass Effect 2 "Maybe it's not as simple as you imagined, Seeker." Varric Tethras Dragon Age 2 "Staying within your limits is no fun, Ryder." Vetra Nyx - ME: Andromeda Spoiler ::PAST CHALLENGES:: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 43 | 44 | NEIN | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48| 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | 77 | 77.5 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 82 | 83 | 84 | 85 | 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 | 90 | 91 | 92 | 93 | 94 | 95 | 96 | 97 | 98 | 99 | 100 Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted September 20, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2017 3 hours ago, Starpuck said: This just showed up in my email... I have followed Girls Gone Strong for a while and they just kicked this out. Since it was something we were both just talking about, I thought I'd share it! I might even sign up for the 7 day challenge! https://www.girlsgonestrong.com/blog/confidence/body-embracement/lybc/ I'm going to do this for sure. I love it! Thanks Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted September 20, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2017 So. After the completely 100% AWFUL day I had today, I'm actually somehow happy. I'm sitting here, typing this, about to start day one of the body love challenge that was linked above by the awesome @Starpuck The "assignment" for today is, (shocker) self care! So I'm sitting in my bedroom, hiding from the chaos with a cup of my (not so) secret hot cocoa recipe (that I will gladly share). I am typing this, then I'm going to go journal on today's Mantra and enjoy some self care time by reading a chapter of my Intuitive Eating book and window shopping on a semi-cheap furniture website. And stretching. 3 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted September 23, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2017 Okay so the past couple days have been interesting. I have stretched a couple of times, and cooked again. Last night I allowed myself to sit down and relax for a while and that was my second self care for the week I also managed to slightly injure my ankle again >_> I went grocery shopping without my brace?? I dunno why it's become so finnicky. But I'm going to brace it all day and hope I can work out tomorrow. Because of that I had to cancel my second workout for the week because I'd planned on doing it today since I needed rest earlier in the week. But oh well. In the meantime I'm going to see some friends and enjoy my weekend! Have a great weekend everyone <3 3 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
Rhovaniel Posted September 24, 2017 Report Share Posted September 24, 2017 Hey, Jedi! Finally here and finally following! Quote “All You Have To Decide Is What To Do With The Time That Is Given To You.” - Gandalf The Chronicles of Rhovaniel, Dúnedain Ranger: Volume One: Wintering, Volume Two: Winter is Passing, Spring is Near, The Chronicles of Rhovaniel, Volume Three: Reborn into Spring, Rhovaniel Batltes the PEWS (late spring challenge)| Volume Four: Strength in Summer|Volume Five: Ambushed in the Archives (current) Spoiler Previous Challenges: 1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13 14| 15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27| 28 29|30 Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.