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Hey there! Time for my second challenge in the Assassins D8< The last time around I made some pretty good push-up gainz, as well as mental gainz. This time around, I will take care of my brain, and work with my body to live a happy, balanced life :)

 

1. Create the Fox-Box

 

b6ce4fbc4edf8bb6f9750a213e98e125--self-c

look at this random picture I found and how well it fits this!!

 

I've lived most of my life harbouring toxic thoughts and not dealing with failures very well :'D Things have started to turn for the better during the past few years, and this year has been especially fruitful: I became aware of my unhealthy relationship with food, and how my willingness to please everyone has lead me to keep up relationships that are no good for me. I have decided to forgive myself for my past mistakes, and keep going for a more balanced future.

 

I'm not a religious person, but I do believe that since we as a species have evolved the capacity to ask questions about our existence, it is a part of my mind that needs to be acknowledged and taken care of. So, I'd like to build a daily ritual, and the Fox-Box will be a part of it. The Box will have a journal, stickers, pencils, pictures and postcards, and other items that make me feel good. There will also be luxurious chocolates or other sweets, and I will have one every evening ;)

 

**

 

Evening Ritual

 

- Take the Fox-Box and sit in a chair. Put on some nice lights

 

- Forgive yourself the mistakes you possible did during the day

 

- Meditate for 5 minutes

 

- Wrap up in a blanket and have a chocolate

 

- Spend a few minutes journaling. Answer these questions:

How am I truly feeling today?

How is my relationship to my life today?

What did I achieve today?

Who did I meet today?

What am I grateful for?

Spend a few minutes journaling freely

 

- Go through the inspirational pictures and other materials that are in the box, spend some time daydreaming

 

- Check the next day's schedule

 

- Thank yourself for the day well lived

 

**

 

I hope to do this one every day, and I wish this ritual to ground me and give me a better sense of myself and to change my thought patterns that don't serve me well.

 

 

2. Fuel!

 

giphy.gif

 

My issues with food came from the fear of gaining weight and black-and-white thinking (good and bad foods). After a few months of ditching calorie and macro counting and instead practicing intuitive eating and eating a ton of carbs, my relationship with food and my body have completely changed! I have started to figure out my own way of eating, and I have a few guidelines that I wish to follow.

 

1. Eat 5-6 meals a day

2. Have most of the daily energy before 4 PM, preferably at breakfast and lunch

3. Breakfast, lunch and dinner are punches, and snacks are light jabs that keep the hunger at bay before an actual punch

4. Stay mindful while eating. Focus on chewing the food. No Internet or TV while munching

5. There are no good or bad foods, but stay aware of how different foods affect your energy levels

6. Don't think: "I will eat less now so that my overall energy intake will be low", but instead, "The more I eat now, the less I need to eat later."

 

I will stay mindful of these guidelines, and do my best to follow them. I will also follow some rules that I learned from @Terah's challenge:

 

Quote

Eating rules for this challenge:

Naamloos.png

 

The 'eat, stand still, shift' I learned in this course.

Basically it means:

1) See that you're about to eat things you don't need/binge. Project the things your body is promising you for eating on an imaginary screen. (pleasure, escaping boredom, etc.)

2) Stand still for a moment to see what is happening. Be in the moment, be mindful. Look at that imaginary screen from a distance. 

3) Shift your attention to the bigger picture/something else. Kick, punch, push that imaginary screen away, and shift your focus on something else.

 

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uhh easy there

 

3. PUSH-UPS!!!

 

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Well, not only push-ups, but other bodyweight exercises, as well...! :D I will do some tests during this week, and fill in a proper plan before the actual challenge starts. This is the most Assassin-y goal of my challenge, and I'm happy to say that working on push-ups during my previous challenge made me feel really good about the way my body performs and looks.

 

**

 

Here we go! Have yourselves a good challenge!

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FOX BOX. That sounds like such a nice ritual~

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Gargoyle Ranger | Level 47

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My epic quest | MEATBALL WARS

You don't get better at anything unless you start doing it.

Being alive is heckn swell. 

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Here to follow again - going to try and be more active on other people's adventures so I'll hopefully be around more this challenge :D 

 

I love your idea of the Fox Box!! I "assign myself" an hour or so each night to relax as part of my own routine, but I love your emphasis on reflection and mindfulness here. That's such a lovely way to end each day and look forward to the next :) 

 

All the best for your challenge!

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"Little by little, one travels far."
J. R. R. Tolkien (1892 - 1973)

 

~ Constantly Respawning ~

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The fox box is such a great idea.... and so hygge (Can I use that as an adjective?)

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Race: Amazonian Ogre Princess | Class: Ranger | Profession: SuperHero

Level: 19 Ranger | STR 36 | DEX 29 | STA  35 | CON  43 | WIS 35 | CHA 23|

 

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Accountibillibuddies: Doodlies setting the world alight

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I am not saying I am Wonder Woman. I am just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman together in the same room.

 

Current Challenge: Shello Finally Fitnesses (sort of) and does some other things

Challenges: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 789, 10, 11, 12 , 131415, 1617181920, 21, 2223242526272829303132, 33, 3435, 36??

Starting weight = 290.4; Current weight = 269; Total pounds lost: 21.4

 

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11 minutes ago, NeverThatBored said:

FOX BOX. That sounds like such a nice ritual~

 

I think it could be very helpful! Especially the idea of an actual ritual, you know. I've had some sort of an existential crisis, but reading Man's Search for Meaning gave me a lot of ideas for taking care of myself :) 

 

7 minutes ago, deftona said:

A always feel a weird sense of calm when I read your opening posts for challenges. 

 

I always feel a weird sense of calm when I cry to you about my problems :'DD

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This is so awesome! I can't wait to see how your new evening ritual works for you.

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Grey Jedi Ranger

The Valkyrie Chronicles: Novice II

Jedi Battle Log

“That's the key isn't it? To know the darkness will always remain, but how you choose to face it, handle it... that's the important part. To not let it consume. To focus on the good, the things that fill you with wonder. That struggle with the darkness is worth it to see such things.”

- Amren, A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas

Challenges#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10#11#12#13#14#15#16, #17#18#19#20#21#22#23#24#25#26#27#28#29#30#31#32#33,  #34#35#36#37#38#39#40#41#42#43#44, #45#46#47,

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5 minutes ago, Caeleth said:

Here to follow again - going to try and be more active on other people's adventures so I'll hopefully be around more this challenge :D 

 

I love your idea of the Fox Box!! I "assign myself" an hour or so each night to relax as part of my own routine, but I love your emphasis on reflection and mindfulness here. That's such a lovely way to end each day and look forward to the next :) 

 

All the best for your challenge!

 

Welcome! Don't stress about being active, it can be a real challenge in itself to keep up with everyone here :D Always happy to hear about you, though!

 

An hour of relaxation sounds great...! I easily dismiss my need for relaxation. I hope that the Fox Box Ritual will help me to sit down and reflect on things.

 

Thanks, let's rock!!

 

4 minutes ago, LadyShello said:

The fox box is such a great idea.... and so hygge (Can I use that as an adjective?)

 

I hope it will help me keep focused on the positives. I've had a few rough issues during these past few years, but I believe that I am getting over them. Looking ahead is helpful :) (I believe so, you're the native Englisher here... oh I was going to use "Englisher" as a made-up word, but it seems that it exists for real :'DD )

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1 minute ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said:

This is so awesome! I can't wait to see how your new evening ritual works for you.

 

Happy to have you here again!! :D I hope that the ritual will help me keep up the work I've done with my thoughts. Having a moment every day for myself sounds lovely <3

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3 minutes ago, Ensi said:

Welcome! Don't stress about being active, it can be a real challenge in itself to keep up with everyone here :D

Haha, I can spend hours scrolling through the threads on here, there's so much! But this challenge I have set myself a goal relating to this so I'll be held accountable! 

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"Little by little, one travels far."
J. R. R. Tolkien (1892 - 1973)

 

~ Constantly Respawning ~

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16 minutes ago, Caeleth said:

Haha, I can spend hours scrolling through the threads on here, there's so much! But this challenge I have set myself a goal relating to this so I'll be held accountable! 

 

Hours and hours of quality content!! O__o AND then it takes a long time to write posts here, too. For some reason, I never regret the time that this forum takes, though...

 

**

 

Today was very lovely :) The flu feels better, and I took the bus to a shopping center in the morning. I got a new battery for my phone and did some groceries. I've taken care of some study-related stuff today, and paid a bill. I watched Unstoppable on Netflix, and screamed a lot because it was so exciting :D I'm gonna put the Fox-Box together when I get back home, and do some journaling this evening in my sketch book. I had a slight head-ache in the morning, and I think it's because I've spent so much time on computer T__T I will now put the screen away and spend the evening doing something else. I'll catch up with you all tomorrow :D

 

The computer science department is looking for a new programmer. I think it means that HC has quit his job because he's got that job in another town that he was talking about, and I don't think I'll be seeing him again. As sad as it makes me, I am focusing on seeing this whole thing as a lesson. Life's educating me hard.

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38 minutes ago, Ensi said:

it takes a long time to write posts here, too. For some reason, I never regret the time that this forum takes, though...

 

Same.  It's always one of my favorite parts of my day. :)

 

Here to cheer!

 

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...unless you'd like it quiet in your Box, in which case I'll just root silently...

 

BtpLKHV.jpg?1

 

:D

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He has showed you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of

you but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?

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Love your evening ritual!

Go for those push-ups!

(Following :))

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The Wolverine - Level 5 // BER  6.5 // HEA  4 // STR  4.4 // STA  3 // DEX  4 // CON  4 // WIS  4.75 // CHA  1

He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty.

Adventures don't start until you get into the forest.

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10 hours ago, DrFeelgood said:

 

Same.  It's always one of my favorite parts of my day. :)

 

 

Same here! It is kinda absurd how much of my FEELINGS I burst out in a forum where I pretend to be a fox (what), but it's been very helpful. A few years ago I started reading NF articles, and they offered me alternative ways of looking at things in my life (personal responsibility, prioritizing my activities etc.). Ever so slowly, I've grown out of being a passive yet aggressive kid, who always felt defensive and angry. Now I'm active and angry :D And still a bit defensive, but eh, flawless characters are boring. Anyway, glad to have you here again!

 

10 hours ago, DrFeelgood said:

 

...unless you'd like it quiet in your Box, in which case I'll just root silently...

 

Quiet and appropriate. That's the Doodlies' motto, right?

 

10 hours ago, zenLara said:

Love your evening ritual!

Go for those push-ups!

(Following :))

 

Welcome!! :D The push-ups will be... pushed up?!

 

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can we have a new type of personal trainers: British butlers?

 

9 hours ago, Alarion said:

The quiet stalker shall follow you! ;)

 

I wonder how many of you quiet stalkers are there O_____o' I will just close the curtains in the evening, and type my soul out here on the Forum for anonymous people to see :'D

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2 hours ago, Ensi said:

I wonder how many of you quiet stalkers are there O_____o' I will just close the curtains in the evening, and type my soul out here on the Forum for anonymous people to see :'D

 

This freaks me out too. By all means stalk me, but show yo face! 

I'm more than adequate. Leave Kanye out of this. 

Profile picture credit : NF's resident super artist - NinjaKitten

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The evening ritual was very helpful :) Knowing that I'm making effort to give myself emotional support every day is huge. Going through the HC feelings made me realize that he didn't really give me emotional support (he never even asked me how I was doing). I also realized that I miss him because of the feeling of companionship and connection. I made a list of things I can do in order to feel companionship and belonging (my family and friends, the forum, the library), and now I'm focusing on those. Imagining a future where I have a meaningful job and relationships is really helpful: I feel like I'm planning a trip or something, and it's kinda fun :D I'm taking lessons for the future here to know what kind of people I want to let in my inner circle from now on. I forgive myself, and move on.

 

I went to bed slightly hungry, and woke up super hungry at 5 AM T__T I had some sweet potato and turkey cold cuts, and got some more sleep. I had a second breakfast when I woke up, and a nap afterwards. A bit messy, but if I let myself go tired, it'll just lead to worse decisions in the long run (like eating sweets and drinking a lot of coffee to get energy). I'll take another nap later in the day :D From now on, I'll have a small evening snack with starchy carbs that'll give me enough energy to sleep at night. The flu is definitely better, so I'm gonna go for a short bike trip :) Have a lovely Tuesday!

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It's been a lovely day :) I took care of some study related stuff in the morning, and went for a short bike trip. I'm still not at 100 % health, but I'm happy to get some exercise...!

 

I bought some e-books a couple of days ago (my new addiction), and I picked up a Finnish book about life traps (Tunne lukkosi, here's the website in English) because it's got pretty good reviews. Even my friend's husband has talked about it, and hes' a psychologist, so I figured that it's probably not a complete waste of time. and it was very cheap. I finished Man's Search for Meaning, and now I'm continuing with the Life trap book. After the first two chapters, the book has already helped me understand my reactions and feelings better (for example, why I was so worked up about ser Jorah: I pretty much panic when someone gets close emotionally). They stem from my childhood, and going through the book isn't very pleasant (the book actually warned me about it in the first chapter lol).

 

For some reason, I haven't seen emotional needs to be just as important as physical needs. The book spelled this out clearly enough so that I understood it. If I feel lonely, it doesn't go away by avoiding the feeling. It's like being hungry, and trying to make it go away by not eating. I need more warmth, presence and kindness to treat my needs.

 

However, I stopped today to wonder if I'm still collecting underpants, this time with books considering mental health. I used to do that with dieting: doing research, and not really using that information.

 

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But I don't think so, because I'm becoming aware of my issues, and I have actually identified what I want to work with (I have this paralyzing fear of intimacy, because some things that happened when I was a kid). I'm already a very functional human being, and I recognized a few life traps that I have already gotten out of. I will continue to work through the book. For now, I want to identify concrete things I can do every day to take care of my emotional needs. I'm going to combine what I learned from MSFM with what this book has to offer. (I try to take breaks from thinking about my mental health 24/7, though! :D It's like with my disordered eating: the goal is to reach a state where I don't have to think about it. It takes time.)

 

After reading, I called my grandparents, and went to have dinner with them. It started to rain, so I took the bus there. Grandma made chicken with salad and potatoes (having to eat a potato would have been super hard before, because carbs. I did plan on having only half a potato because they were kinda big, but then just ate the whole thing). Dessert was strawberries with cream, and coffee with milk. My grandparents are getting old, and I'm glad whenever I get a chance to spend time with them. I walked back home, even though it rained. I had an umbrella, so it was actually nice to get some fresh air :) It took me an hour to walk home, and then I got some more exercise by doing push-ups and squats. Nothing too hard, but just a little something to get my muscles moving after the flu! I took a shower, and called Mom. Now I'm just hanging, and I'm going to do my evening ritual before bed.

 

... as you can see, I'm all about long posts again T__T Haha enjoy!!

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I kept reading the book, and did my evening ritual. Having the questions helps me with writing it, and it makes me focus on the good things. I really like this ritual :)

 

... and then the book. I took the test to see which lifetraps I have, and I thought I would have two, maybe three. The tests was like "b**ch please, you have 5 very strong, 6 strong, 4 somewhat strong traps, and one weak trap. And even that one is arguably strong, because the description fits you pretty well." I was like "nahhh...??" but then I read the descriptions and the behaviour that the traps cause, and I... agree.

 

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I tend to stay critical when I read this kind of literature or diagnose myself, but knowing that this book has been praised by even psychologists and it spelled out to me clearly why I develop crushes on emotionally unavailable people (hahahahahhahahaa), I think I'm gonna believe it. I'll keep working with the book.

 

I wonder if it's because I've had to think about my childhood, but random memories are coming up. For example the time when a magpie bit me in the nose :D It had a broken wing and I was carrying it to Mom, when it turned around and bit me. Good times!

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I did the test to, and it is very enlightening. I never knew I had so many weak spots. 

Doodlie for life, Pancake by choice
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Challenge 12, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 

Challenges 2017: 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28

Challenges 2018: 29, 30, 31, 32, 3334, 35,

Challenges 2019: 36, 37, 38, 39, 40

 

Challenges 2020: 41, 42, 43, 44, 45

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1 hour ago, Terah said:

I did the test to, and it is very enlightening. I never knew I had so many weak spots. 

 

Well, it's an online test, so you can be critical about the results (as you probably are, you Nerd <3 ). It's hard to summarize the book, but it's really helpful in recognizing the behaviours and thoughts that make me feel bad about myself. I'm sure that becoming aware is already a huge step :)

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3 hours ago, Ensi said:

as you probably are, you Nerd <3

Guilty 

 

3 hours ago, Ensi said:

I'm sure that becoming aware is already a huge step

So true.

And the explanations that go with the test really helped getting insights. I thought I was afraid of failure, but that only scored 'weak'. But the thing that scored 'very strong' was unrelenting standards. That, with the extensive explanations, helped change my perspective. 

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Doodlie for life, Pancake by choice
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Challenge 12, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 

Challenges 2017: 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28

Challenges 2018: 29, 30, 31, 32, 3334, 35,

Challenges 2019: 36, 37, 38, 39, 40

 

Challenges 2020: 41, 42, 43, 44, 45

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I just took the lifetrap quiz and... wow. Well. I've got a lot of lifetraps. Woah. At first I wasn't sure but then I read the descriptions and I'm just like... well. um... yeah.

 

That was a very interesting insight on myself, thanks for sharing Ensi <3

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Grey Jedi Ranger

The Valkyrie Chronicles: Novice II

Jedi Battle Log

“That's the key isn't it? To know the darkness will always remain, but how you choose to face it, handle it... that's the important part. To not let it consume. To focus on the good, the things that fill you with wonder. That struggle with the darkness is worth it to see such things.”

- Amren, A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas

Challenges#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10#11#12#13#14#15#16, #17#18#19#20#21#22#23#24#25#26#27#28#29#30#31#32#33,  #34#35#36#37#38#39#40#41#42#43#44, #45#46#47,

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5 hours ago, Terah said:

 

So true.

And the explanations that go with the test really helped getting insights. I thought I was afraid of failure, but that only scored 'weak'. But the thing that scored 'very strong' was unrelenting standards. That, with the extensive explanations, helped change my perspective. 

 

I'm glad to hear you've got some perspective, too :) The explanations are rather interesting, aren't they? I haven't reached the part of the book where I actually get to work, it's been all theory up to this point. And a couple of tests. I'll keep you all posted :P

 

3 hours ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said:

I just took the lifetrap quiz and... wow. Well. I've got a lot of lifetraps. Woah. At first I wasn't sure but then I read the descriptions and I'm just like... well. um... yeah.

 

That was a very interesting insight on myself, thanks for sharing Ensi <3

 

You're welcome!!

 

Funny-Laughing-Gif-Picture.gif

 

I think that becoming aware of the traps you have is already a huge step. I hope you got something to think about :) There's a link for additional information on the website...!

 

1 hour ago, SomeGuyFromScotland said:

Show me the Fox Box!

 

I'm already in my pajam... Oh wait, the Fox Box!! Sorry :D I'm gonna put it together when I travel back home in a couple of days! I'll show it as soon as it's presentable ;)

 

**

 

It's been a good day! The flu is back with a slight vengeance, but parents came back from their trip. Mom and I went to our cottage for a while, and I was just going to stand there and do nothing, but I just couldn't not pick some blueberries when there were at least a million in the forest x__x I just had some blueberries for evening snack. I've had some chocolate and other sugary foods today, but I don't feel like I've overdone it. The workout yesterday cheered me up, even if the flu came back for a while :P

 

I've been a lot more calm today, and I'm relaxed with my parents. I think that becoming aware of my behaviour is helping me, and I'm happy to do my evening ritual again. I'm gonna put the Fox Box together when I get back home :) I'd like to have something from nature in it, as well, like stones from the beach. A few Skeletor is Love pictures wouldn't hurt, either:

 

tumblr_n98ld6gNOy1s46h7vo1_500.jpg

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