Course Correction

[Lincoln_R1]

Lincoln's Log

Respawn Report

Stardate [-4]94697.4

 

First off, hi. Fist time posting here. Usually I post in my Daily Battle log cleverly titled "Lincoln's Log," hence the header with the stardate of the beginning of this post.

 

I suppose some background is in order. I've found my biggest road block in my health and fitness journey, and actually in all things that I struggle with, stems from my at the moment thoughts and feelings towards romantic relationships. More accurately in my case, my lack of said facet in my life.

 

I'm going to be 24 this Friday (not that big of a deal for me, I actually dread my birthday since I'm an introvert), and I've been single for the last eight years or so. When I say single, I mean REALLY single. Like I've gone on two or three dates in that time span. 

 

Part of this is due to my depression cycles. During them, I find no redeeming qualities in myself. Actually the best thing I've found to help me out of them is a quote from Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic 2, where Darth Traya tells the character that she can tell they are a Jedi by their posture. Helps for some reason, I don't know.

 

Anyway, yesterday I faced my fifth rejection in the time I've been looking for a relationship. I suppose my self confidence is improving, as three of those rejections have occurred within the last 14 months, and all three of those aforementioned dates have been within the last 10 months. 

 

I'm getting used to being rejected honestly. Over time, my recovery rate from the initial depression onset has gotten faster. I'm almost healed now. But, for a long time my fitness and health journey has been at least in part fueled by my wish to start a new relationship. With my rather abysmal success rate in that field, I'm starting to drift away from relationships in general (I'm almost to the point where I prefer to be alone), so I've been searching for some new thing to guide my drive to succeed. 

 

Other than looking like, and maybe eventually cosplaying as Alex Louis Armstrong from FMA Brotherhood, I'm in an admitted deadspot (though cosplaying as the most manliest of men that I've seen in Anime might very well be motivation enough).

 

So yeah, there's my first respawn report. Hopefully I won't post too many of these, but everyone needs to be heard once in a while. 

 

September 12, 2017 14:04:36

End of Log

[Taoin Sisu]

Hi, I'm a newbie here but just wanted to say good on you for dating as it takes a lot of courage, and rejections are often a blessing in disguise. 

 

In terms of motivation, a relationship is an important goal, but life is made up of many different aspects. Maybe you can use this as a chance to re-evaluate your current goals and see where you want to be in 6 months time. Do you want adventure or travel, financial freedom, closer relationships to family or friends? Maybe you want to try out another guild or get great at a new skill? You can have fun with it once you get into it. 

 

I used my difficulty with relationships in the past to work on my personal growth, but everyone is different. Whatever adventure you choose, good luck! Hope it goes well : ) 

 

Edit: Should mention that I met the man I eventually married when I was 33. By then I'd sorted through some personal stuff and was ready to be in a relationship. 

 

[Lincoln_R1]

19 hours ago, Taoin Sisu said:

I used my difficulty with relationships in the past to work on my personal growth, but everyone is different. Whatever adventure you choose, good luck! Hope it goes well : ) 

 

Edit: Should mention that I met the man I eventually married when I was 33. By then I'd sorted through some personal stuff and was ready to be in a relationship. 

Hi there,

 

Yeah, last night actually I had an epiphany moment. I've acknowledged in the past that I do need to work on myself before I'm ready to try getting into a relationship again. But last night, I just remembered that I'm part of something bigger than my own life (I'm religious, so that's where this realization came from). After that, my depression... evaporated I guess haha. 

 

But yeah, I do need to focus on bigger things, and focus  on my own life first.

 

Thank you for the encouragement!

[Taoin Sisu]

No worries, sounds like you're doing the stuff you need to do. Hope the epiphany helps, they're rare and hard won aren't they? Keep up the good work : ) 

[Roamer]

I can relate well to this friend. Only different than you and me is about 2 years (I'm older) and however many rejections you've gone through. I never really had the courage to try! I commend you for making it that far. I've always been told if you can face the rejection you can face anything. Here's a protip I learned in sales that I also believe applies to dating: You can NOT get them to change their mind, however you can get them to change their decision by introducing new ideas to them. Basically once they've made up their mind it is absolutely final... UNTIL something new enters the mix (ie something they didn't know about you before) in which case they are forced to re-evaluate their previous stance. Hope that helps some.

 

Also I LOVED KOTOR. I preferred the first one, but the second one was a good sequel. I guess if I had to put everything I told you in nerd speak it would be: gather your lightsaber parts, put it together and go conquer the galaxy! (Or save it - whichever term you prefer to use, after all that game is all about choices.)