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Morag - back again for more


Morag

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Sushi-List, stolen from dear, inspirational @Xena, I will make a masterlist of some random number of connected and unconnected items to do. Finished list = Sushi for me.
 
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Neil Gaiman coined the term "the mountain" here:

And I have to say this last year has had it in it! This time of year is always a bit introspective-heavy, the light is waning and my s.a.d is waking up and my birthday is not far away (early November, so it's a while still) and I am thinking and measuring: am I headed towards or away from the mountain?
 
This challenge I will go clean a lot.
Get on that list,
while keeping on doing everything else as I have been for a while now: eat green things, keep tracking cals, drink water, work out and go the heck to sleep!
 
So nothing changing, except for the major thinkithink, I feel I am headed for.
 
Storm blowing through town, but it's okay.

 


---
"Travel lightly, for what you bring with you becomes part of your landscape." -Anne Bishop

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

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11 hours ago, Katrin the Morag said:


So nothing changing, except for the major thinkithink, I feel I am headed for.
 
Storm blowing through town, but it's okay.
 
---
 
 
 
"Travel lightly, for what you bring with you becomes part of your landscape." -Anne Bishop
 
 

 

 

Perfect combination!

Plus it wasn't so bad, just enough to curl up with a blanket and tea and be happy that you don't have to get outside...

 

I will be around again, you know?

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On 14.9.2017 at 8:32 AM, Casbin said:
 
Perfect combination!
Plus it wasn't so bad, just enough to curl up with a blanket and tea and be happy that you don't have to get outside...
 
I will be around again, you know?

I know, right?
I couldn't fit my shoe over the insect bite on my ankle and had to wear sandals.... also I was out and about morning, noon, afternoon and evening.... come to think of it, maybe I do know why I find it hard to get a move on today afterall...

Thanks for helping me figure that out.

So I started making that sushi list, it's one page long, so I took a preliminary screenshot, I'm not sure if it isn't long enough already to count for sushi... maybe... we'll see, and once it's done I can always start a new list.

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---

"Travel lightly, for what you bring with you becomes part of your landscape." -Anne Bishop
 

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

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Hello you wonderful people.

 

Good to have you. Made some in rows on the sushi list. Even went to bed at a decent hour and drank some more water. Logging my food has been iffy, been logging at night trying to recreate what food I had. It's not optimal, indeed it's one step away from not logging at all, so I will try to improve that, definitely.

 

We just had early shift week and are enjoying the weekend off, kids, hubby and I. Last week a horsefly bit me into the juncture of shin and ankle, which sucked, all of it: the initial bite, the swelling as well as the itching since. As a result I was walking around in sandals all week, stormy wet weather and all. And I also skipped training Thursday night, just didn't feel like stuffing my swollen ankle into my sport shoes, play hockey and basketball and in general run around a lot. As a small side note hubby and I and even the kids have gotten a lot done in the apartment and the unplanned rest was well received.

 

I may or may not have mentioned it in the past: a while ago I was helping run an online crew of mechwarriors. I was second in command of the international part of an online community of players of mechwarrior online (MW:O). I was running 2h long training nights two or even three times a week, we dissected the maps, ran recon, discussed builds and tactics and trained to keep track of our lance mates and rarara. It was involved. But mostly I was dealing with people, people that clicked together, people strewn across the globe. Timezones, cultural differences, and most of all people who enjoyed the game. And you might wonder why I tell you about this, some of those wonderful men I still have sporadic contact with. And yesterday morning I called out to them through the various channels we have available to us, and we got together and played some Left4Dead2 and Mechies and chatted a bit and once hubby's shift cycles around again (four weeks) we'll do it again.

 

Gaming with my old crew. God's above and below, I missed these men!

 

So that's my weekend. My mum has a bronchitis, with her quad bypass and a tendency to have trouble with her lungs, I worry and fret, but she's on sick leave and very sensible, so that's good.

 

Updated sushi list in a while... have done the bathroom-pretty thing:

Bathroom Pretties

 

 

But am not done overall. Still a lot to do. So much to do...

---

 

 

 

"Travel lightly, for what you bring with you becomes part of your landscape." -Anne Bishop

 

 

 

 

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

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On 19.9.2017 at 1:00 AM, Raxie said:
Happy challenge start! Yay Morag! *cheers*

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk

 

Thanks Raxie!!!

 

 


I am in a WEIRD MOOD lately. Hubby and I both really pitched in and we got schtuff done. We are actually almost done completely... But I am only tired. I am very careful of the things I say, because right now my thoughts are not always healthy...

Actually --- I'm gonna plug in my daylight lamp and continue writing while soaking up ze rayz.

Mmmmm.... better.

My mum has a bronchitis, with her quadruple bypass operation 2 years ago (I think) and her still smoking... I worry about her. I can't make the choice for her. She has to want it and she kinda does. But she doesn't know how to start.
She's a dry alcoholic and she beat that by deciding that living is a good goal, so she stopped buying her poison, found someone trained to talk about crap, without feeling bad about unloading on her family, though we tried to make sure she knew she was welcome to talk or vent anytime. And that helped. She had some relapses, bad ones, and those scared her enough to stay dry for ... I don't actually know... 8 months (9?). I have to ask her sometime.
So I told her about stacking her life in her own favour, about trying to remove willpower as much as she can... She's been talking about having her walls renovated... putting some money into the living area... and I suggested she could have the walls done and then not smoke indoors anymore. She and her husband smoked everywhere, after he passed she reduced the smoking to Kitchen Only, if she had her walls done for good money, it might be enough to make a new Not Inside The House rule stick. And reducing from 15-20 a day to anything less... It's a place to start. But she has to want it. I can want it for three people, it still won't change anything.

Anyone of you quit smoking? Did anything someone said to you before or during help?

My mum is going to turn 60 this year. She's too young to be this broken and resigned.


In other news the list is almost... okay half... defeated. And the new list is already conceived, this way I'll eat sushi 1-3 times a month... hopefully. I love sushi.

Training this week was weird and fun, boxing gloves, polster swords, tug of war, and volleyball so far. Looking forward to Thursday night, I missed last Thu training because of ankle being swollen from stupid horsefly bite and I guess a bit of I Need A Break attitude was also involved. This week is not even half through, but I've already killed the Hard Rain campaign (L4D2) with some of my old MW:O crew and hung out with those wonderful people, had a coach-y talk with my trainer about me being a trainer and LMB and sports club and schtuff. I've done all the laundry, I've not been this on top of the laundry EVER. And am constantly throwing out or giving away things we don't need.

Plus my weight slipped below 93kg for the first time in a WHILE. Once the moving average gets here I'll have lost 10kg since starting my journey so long ago (Apr '15). Weird how important these arbitrary milestones are, right?

Anyway, I hope I have something less dull and down to share sometime soon.

Love ya.
Katrin aka Morag

---



"Travel lightly, for what you bring with you becomes part of your landscape." -Anne Bishop
 

 

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

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There's a book that someone that my mom worked with read, that is apparently magical and makes people stop smoking right away. I'll find out on the weekend what it's called [emoji4] 
 
And I think there's some NF articles by Spezzy about how she quit smoking? 
Thank you maegs, appreciate it, I'll have a look see for those articles.

---



"Travel lightly, for what you bring with you becomes part of your landscape." -Anne Bishop

Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

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Windowsills have been painted, plants have been repotted and the spare pots have been thrown out or put into storage in the basement. Note the newly rooted and potted cutting of a store-bought pineapple in the middle there, it is actually making new leaves, which are too young for us to see them from the outside, but I assure you they are there.
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In other news the last bed-linens are in the wash right now and I am sitting on my bum not doing anything other than write this post and then go back to sorting out the sample class I have to hand in for the LMB-course. And I even have sent the dreaded e-mail I had to write, so yay.

Current Sushi List:
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Newly Conceived List, that's not actually a real list yet:

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So far my food so far this week has been good, I had what felt like a huge workout Tuesday night, but didn't eat any of the extra calories, then Wednesday was a high-stress low-mood day and I ate 1720 of my 1500 kcal. Together with my not eaten 680 kcal of what my Garmin and phone told me I burned Tuesday... no, it's all good. Break week I my average was 1400ish which is awesome.

As I said before currently head is not right, tonight is training, and it's hubby's day off, he has to get up early Saturday, so sleeping kids and an evening as a couple would be an option, if I didn't have training. As is, I'll miss hubby, go to class, the crash right after if I can.
Last night I stupidly got home from board meeting and subsequent IT things around 11pm. My bedtime on school nights is 10. And then I talked hubby into watching more of Season 2 the Expanse with me, hubby hates the light-filters, so we watched it in all its blue-lighted glory. We turned in around midnight. I wasn't asleep until almost 1am. Worries and hamster wheel inside my mind driving me bonkers, until I called up my kindle app on the phone, red-filter and all and read another chapter of how James FUCKING Holden almost starts a war between Earth, Mars and the Belt and finally my frantic mind was sufficiently distracted to let me relax into sleep.
(I am reading the first book of the Expanse "leviathan wakes", now that watching the netflix show we are squarely into the plot of the second book. Hubby read 3 of the 6 books, so I get little snippets of "this is different" and "I don't remember a character like that", it's fun, but I want to read it for myself. Hubby has no patience for languages for example, and belter speak is a thing I am really curious about, and he... Just reads it and forgets most of it, except the feel of things, like belter being more sign language-y, but such vage infos are not enough for me.)


Regards

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(Kid and I were writing things)


---



"Travel lightly, for what you bring with you becomes part of your landscape." -Anne Bishop
 

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

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On 9/20/2017 at 7:33 AM, Katrin the Morag said:

Anyone of you quit smoking? Did anything someone said to you before or during help?

 

She said, "I can't keep dating you if you keep smoking."  I immediately threw my last pack in the trash and never bought more.  We've been married 13 years.  Best decision ever.

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"Forget failure.  Forget mistakes.  Forget everything except what you're going to do NOW, and DO IT." - Lou Ferrigno

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Friday morning update.

 

Training last night was humpf. Good overall but for example the running bit at the start (15min running around the gymnasium): I struggled. I'm never fast, I know that, but my feet were complaining A LOT. When I run around a park my feet do that too, but eventually they resign themselves to their fate and then running is comfortable and brings my mind peace. I haven't run (outside class) in a while so I think it's just a matter of not being used to it at the moment. And I don't know if I want to fix this. Sure, running without my feet complaining would be good, but do I really want to run regularly? Is this gonna be my thing? 5k, 10k, not mudruns, just regular street and trail/park runs? Maybe those popular local races? Kiel Lauf has 10k participants. I just don't enjoy running.... or at least I don't enjoy running in circles. Doesn't matter if it's small circles in the gymnasium (54m) or longer circles around the park (1.315km). Circles are aggravating. I did enjoy going off the tracks the last time I ran... been a month at least, I posted pictures in my thread at the time.

Not much running since... entirely not sure...

 

In other news, I did stay within my caloric budget yesterday. During training I sweated like no tomorrow. But I didn't really get much out of it. Some, yes, but not sure.

 

Playing around with things is fun, but I need to get some strength training in too. Also someone broke one of my swords so that was a mood dampener. Hubby wasn't surprised, apparently they can't withstand too much... which is kind of stupid for a sports-thingy you hit each other with, but whatever.

 

Food was decent, a bit low on the veggie side, which is correlated with the tight budget. There's things I have in the freezer and such that I can do, just have to remember they're there.

Macros last night looked good:

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Sleep' s been crap all over. But I finally got 7 1/2 hours last night. It's still under my goal, but I'm getting closer.

 

Water is okay, not awesome, but not worryingly low either.

 

Logged all the kcals. Cleaned all the things. I am almost done with the list and that's cool too.

I am constantly adding things to the new list and this morning I started the list for after next list. Let me explain. I have stuff I need to knit, crochet and such, but finish project a, b, AND c is just too much, I'll never eat sushi again if I put all my WIPs on one list. So the third one is on the third list.

[mention=24241]Xena[/mention] Do you ever scratch things off a list, not ticking off as done, but "delete"?

I was just wondering.

 

Mum will come over later today. Kids were given choice of making cookies or muffins for the visit, the little one demanded cookies, so once the kids return from school after lunch we will bake cookies... I'm thinking banana-chocolate-oat-cookies of some sort, then I won't have to eat the banana-chocolate-oat-mix as porridge, because it's not good. We'll see. Will ranger a recipe and it'll be fine.

 

Plus sample class. I did get ~70-80% done yesterday AND scrubbed the kitchen in an attempt at procrastination.

 

Rangered!

 

That's new with me, I should slim down my posts... always such a wall-post!

 

 

Regards

 

Morag

 

---

 

 

 

"Travel lightly, for what you bring with you becomes part of your landscape." -Anne Bishop

 

 

 

 

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

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I had a long talk with mum. Talked about staking the deck in her favour, about not relying on willpower, about how long she's been smoking (46 years) and about being kind to herself and smart about it. There will be good days and there will be fuck ups, and she has to be kind to herself, not expect and demand miracles but start moving in a direction and adjust as needed.

She had some good ideas: not smoking when she's here (balcony), not smoking at work any more, having a case in her purse with a pre-counted number of smokes per day.
I think telling her to be kind and gentle with herself and not beat herself up over shit she's been doing for almost half a century and now she wants to not do any more, was something that she needed to hear. Expect failure, and not be discouraged by things not instantly working. Smoking is a coping mechanism for stress, she doesn't have other coping strategies yet, and she will have to find some, if this is going to work long-term, and she will.
We spoke about interrupting/awareness exercises, to notice what is actually going on inside while she takes all those steps until lighting that cigarette. It was a lot, but maybe it helped her. Self-forgiveness she definitely didn't think of on her own, so that's helpful. Telling her that she's been smoking for a really long time and some strategies may work and some may not and something not working is not a failing of her character, it's information, nothing more, and some things that sound good: not smoking at work may work or they REALLY won't, she has to try them out and forgive herself if something doesn't work and learn from that. Work might be a stressful place she can't not-smoke at until she figures out something that really works for coping with stress. Or it may work and give her a boost of momentum, she'll see.

If she spoke any English I'd drag her on here, but sadly she knows almost no English at all.

More update later or tomorrow.
Is it only week 1???

---



"Travel lightly, for what you bring with you becomes part of your landscape." -Anne Bishop

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

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Great job in spreading the spirit of the rebellion!!   I hope your mom will treat non-smoking strategies as a series of experiments.  

 

IV_FacebookQuoteTile_WithPicture_Edison_

 

 

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We are better than we know, if we can be made to see it, [then] for the rest of our lives, we'll be unwilling to settle for less.  

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On 9/22/2017 at 4:32 AM, Katrin the Morag said:

 I just don't enjoy running.... or at least I don't enjoy running in circles. Doesn't matter if it's small circles in the gymnasium (54m) or longer circles around the park (1.315km). Circles are aggravating. I did enjoy going off the tracks the last time I ran... been a month at least, I posted pictures in my thread at the time.

Not much running since... entirely not sure...

----

 

[mention=24241]Xena[/mention] Do you ever scratch things off a list, not ticking off as done, but "delete"?

I was just wondering.

 

You do plenty of exercise that you seem to like. I don't think you should force yourself to run if you don't like it (unless it serves some other goal, like helping you improve at something you DO like). I think exercise should be more of a reward than a punishment :-)

 

YES! I had "get handyman to come over and fix ceiling" on my list the first time. The guy stood me up two times. I decided I had tried hard enough and scratched that one off. My ceiling still hasn't been fixed, the world hasn't ended, and I've enjoyed sushi treats a few times.

 

14 hours ago, Katrin the Morag said:

I had a long talk with mum. Talked about staking the deck in her favour, about not relying on willpower, about how long she's been smoking (46 years) and about being kind to herself and smart about it. There will be good days and there will be fuck ups, and she has to be kind to herself, not expect and demand miracles but start moving in a direction and adjust as needed.

------
If she spoke any English I'd drag her on here, but sadly she knows almost no English at all.

 

@Jarric and some other Rangers (can't remember who) read a book that was very helpful for quitting smoking. Maybe it's available in....German (???)

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Xena, Level 14+ Valkyrie Ranger

January 2017  December 2016

Oct/Nov 2016

 

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On 23/09/2017 at 9:14 AM, Katrin the Morag said:

I had a long talk with mum. Talked about staking the deck in her favour, about not relying on willpower, about how long she's been smoking (46 years) and about being kind to herself and smart about it. There will be good days and there will be fuck ups, and she has to be kind to herself, not expect and demand miracles but start moving in a direction and adjust as needed.

 

17 hours ago, Xena said:

@Jarric and some other Rangers (can't remember who) read a book that was very helpful for quitting smoking. Maybe it's available in....German (???)

 

The book was "The Easyway to Stop Smoking" by Allen Carr, and I believe that they have it in a lot of different languages. I would seriously seriously recommend it, it definitely helped me to open my eyes about smoking and to get free.

 

Also, I agree on the running in circles thing, it's really no fun. Try and find somewhere you can run to instead. Or, as Xena says, try something you enjoy more - you definitely don't have to run to be fit.

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Thank you @Chris-Tien Jinn @Xena and@Jarric.

I don't know what will become of her and her smoking, but I hope, I seriously hope my mum pulls through this thing and comes out stronger. I know she can do it, I just don't know if she will chose the harder, longer path over the easier shorter one... I mean none of us get out of this alive. It's the journey that matters and the memories we make with those people touching our lives...


Update:
I have to guesstimate my calories for today, I have no feeling for it right now.
My sister in law joined us for flea market and dinner and card games and rockband and it was nice to have her around for a change.

Small kid is bouncing back and forth between the sweetest angel and poison-spewing rattlesnake of unlimited, hating-the-world-tantrums and back to teary-eyed cuddly, I am sorry, I don't know why I punched you mummy, or why I threatened to do those things (stomp on glasses, destroy mommy's drawing, he's a really creative threatener). I am so sorry, can I haz a hug? Please? Back to "no, I don't want to brush my teeth" "GRAAAAAGH"...

Older one is tummy and headache struggling, not eating much of anything, not taking meds he is supposed to take when his gastro system acts up (it's disgusting stuff, I sympathize, but if it helps just take the damn stuff!!) And not repentant, not seeing that he is his own problem-aggravater and overall reclusive and teenager.

So they are in bed. I am tired beyond what is normal for this hour but overall it's not a bad day.

Can't believe it's almost Monday already. Where did the time go?

I am done with my sushi list, almost, just have to write it down, the things I prepped for class, pack it up and throw it in the mailbox. I may spend Monday "lunch" at hubby's place of work, buy sushi, then spend his 9am break with him, maybe.

I cannot possibly earn enough money to get over the threshold so I'd have to pay taxes. Work away.

Should have drunken more water today, but I've had heaps of fruity tea, that counts too.

Gonna shut up now. It's late.

Rock on!!



---



"Travel lightly, for what you bring with you becomes part of your landscape." -Anne Bishop
 

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

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3 hours ago, Katrin the Morag said:

I am done with my sushi list, almost, just have to write it down, the things I prepped for class, pack it up and throw it in the mailbox. I may spend Monday "lunch" at hubby's place of work, buy sushi, then spend his 9am break with him, maybe.

 

Yay! Mission accomplished :-)

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Xena, Level 14+ Valkyrie Ranger

January 2017  December 2016

Oct/Nov 2016

 

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It is Wednesday. Must be update time.

I haven't slept enough in the last few days, but apart from that yesterday was a badass day:

Breakfast salami on whole wheat toast 267kcal.
7:30-8h Walked kids to school. 2km
9h-10h Trying Fitness Class my "Spartenleiterin" is giving. Sweated like a pig, but could keep up. Just so.
11h-13h Scrubbed the shower. I hate my shower.
Bundled with playing Rimworld. I love Rimworld.
Finished 1st bottle of water. Munched on grapes 142kcal.
Forgot to eat. Hubby joined me on my walk to get the kids. 14h another 2km with company.
Warmed up some leftovers, ate them on toast, mfp says 1061kcal, but I'm entirely not sure about that. Shrug, it is what it is.
16:20 got little one to kiddy fitness class, where he will enjoy 2h of running and playing and sweating.
Prep cold dinner for the kids hang out with hubby, more Rimworld.
Older kid and I leave for the school gymnasium down the road.
Hubby goes to school parent thing.
18:25 Younger one comes out of the gymnasium elated and sweaty, that's what I like to see.
We say our good nights. Kids walk home, I change into gym shoes.
18:30 Trainer shows up and I help carry things and training happens and I sweat more, but not as much as this morning. I practice wall handstand and that stresses my mind, but I am building mental durability, even in that small way.
19:30 we switch to volleyball. Starting out with 2v2, going 2v3 and finally 3v3 at the end of match one. We play 5 full matches. I was in the winning team all but the last match, for which we changed things up a little and it was a hard fight and they finally beat us a well deserved 25:21, making it a 4:1 win for us, but they didn't go home losers either, so that was fortunate.
21h-21:45 Trainer coached me on how to get where I wanna go as a trainer and rarara. I'm definitely gonna go teach LMB classes if I at all can. And it looks like I'll be able to do that no matter what my club says, so that's: yay!
Finished 2nd bottle of water. My Garmin tells me I burned an extra 1000+kcal this tuesday.
22h I pop some microwave popcorn and watch the 2017 Scarlett Johansson Ghost in the Shell. I was well entertained, even though hubby is right they could have done the music better. Are my popcorn 473kcal, finished my 3rd (1L) water bottle, and went to bed around midnight.
I ate half of the extra calories (total 1997kcal with 501kcal left uneaten) drunken 3L water easy. And got a heaping pile done.


Just under 6h of sleep later I wake 10min before my alarm. Life is good I can do this.

The Tuesday morning training really put my mind to a whole new level of self. I may do morning training more. I will definitely go to this class again, that's for one. But what else I am still pondering.

I needed a day to go like this. Monday was crap. Older boy and I had a big drawn out fight all day long. It was just bullocks. He can't sleep. His tummy and head are aching for no reason. He is not seeing that getting up early will make him tired more, he's just tired and dozes in and out all day Monday, yelling and screaming at me. I know it is torture to wake him up, but what can I do? He has to go to school. Not sleeping at night, because he snoozed through the whole day before, having a headache and tummy ache, because he's not eating any veggies and barely any fruit and the sleep thing on top of it all. Who can blame his tummy for not playing ball at this point.

So Monday was a drain. Eventually he slept and Tuesday (and today) he went to school as he should. Life is hard when you're a teenager and your mum knows everything better and has suggestions for everything.

So far so good.

---



"Travel lightly, for what you bring with you becomes part of your landscape." -Anne Bishop

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

Current Challenge

 

Road map to Level 50

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Friday. I am procrastinating on my paperwork. But I'll get to that in a minute.
The second sushi list feels bigger than the last. I will get my sushi today, I think and maybe I'll even make a good dent in the new list too.

Been a good week. Emotions are still wobbly. Sometimes I can see how amazingly lucky I am, sometimes I can't see it at all. Hubby doesn't want to go to class anymore. He hasn't been since he hurt his knee, hasn't had the doc check that out fully either. I am not sure why, but I sure miss him every time I have to decide between going or not going, getting the workout I truly need in this continuously darker time of year or spending the evening with him and enjoying cuddly time with a game or a movie or a book.

So last night I went to class. It was difficult. I really didn't want to go. But I'm to sub the next two Thursdays and one Tuesday (next week being an national holiday and no class because of it).
So I have been thinking on what to do for class and it is starting to form up in my mind, which I enjoy watching happen.

We will do some things, it'll be fun.

Now to the sushi list. I'll post a review update about calories and water and such either one of the days of the weekend or in my Monday update.

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"Travel lightly, for what you bring with you becomes part of your landscape." -Anne Bishop
 

  • Like 3

Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

Current Challenge

 

Road map to Level 50

Link to post

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