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Rhovaniel: Consistency is the Key


Rhovaniel

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3 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

You're sick. Cut yourself some slack. Especially being sick with the counselling on top of all that.

If I was more ill, I might be inclined to go easier on myself. But its just a cold and I could do with being tougher on myself. 

 

Got into the office this morning and proof reading a report, realised I made a mistake on the one I sent out yesterday. I emailed my supervisor and he thinks it should be fine, but still it grates. It was something I should have been on top of and noticed. 

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1 hour ago, Rhovaniel said:

If I was more ill, I might be inclined to go easier on myself. But its just a cold and I could do with being tougher on myself. 

*Looks over top of glasses* Jon is right. It would be wise to listen to him.

1 hour ago, Rhovaniel said:

It was something I should have been on top of and noticed. 

Don't should on yourself. (say it out loud somewhat quickly)

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4 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

*Looks over top of glasses* Jon is right. It would be wise to listen to him.

Don't should on yourself. (say it out loud somewhat quickly)

 

Jon and Tank speak truth.  Treating yourself like a precious object will make you strong.

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7 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

If I was more ill, I might be inclined to go easier on myself. But its just a cold and I could do with being tougher on myself. 

You are plenty hard on yourself. It isn't useful.

 

So here is a question that you don't need to answer here but you should think about. Are being sick and emotionally strained and drained reasons or excuses? There is a difference. If you are making excuses then I agree with you. Cut it out and get the work done. If you are physically ill and emotionally exhausted by facing demons long buried then, for crying out loud, go easy on yourself. 

 

7 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

Got into the office this morning and proof reading a report, realised I made a mistake on the one I sent out yesterday. I emailed my supervisor and he thinks it should be fine, but still it grates. It was something I should have been on top of and noticed. 

Okay. You are new to the job and everybody makes mistakes. Someone new to the job will, generally, make more mistakes than someone more experienced. The very, very important thing in this statement is the second part. You made a mistake but you spotted that  mistake and you owned up to making that mistake. That says a massive amount about your character and integrity. With my supervisory/management hat on, what you did was very impressive because, I assure you, you are expected to be making mistakes. You are going to be judged on how you handle those mistakes as much as, if not more than, what you didn't do to prevent them in the first place. 

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22 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

*Looks over top of glasses* Jon is right. It would be wise to listen to him.

Don't should on yourself. (say it out loud somewhat quickly)

 

18 hours ago, Moros said:

 

Jon and Tank speak truth.  Treating yourself like a precious object will make you strong.

 

15 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

You are plenty hard on yourself. It isn't useful.

 

So here is a question that you don't need to answer here but you should think about. Are being sick and emotionally strained and drained reasons or excuses? There is a difference. If you are making excuses then I agree with you. Cut it out and get the work done. If you are physically ill and emotionally exhausted by facing demons long buried then, for crying out loud, go easy on yourself. 

 

Okay. You are new to the job and everybody makes mistakes. Someone new to the job will, generally, make more mistakes than someone more experienced. The very, very important thing in this statement is the second part. You made a mistake but you spotted that  mistake and you owned up to making that mistake. That says a massive amount about your character and integrity. With my supervisory/management hat on, what you did was very impressive because, I assure you, you are expected to be making mistakes. You are going to be judged on how you handle those mistakes as much as, if not more than, what you didn't do to prevent them in the first place. 

Thanks guys. I did think about it and I know that sometimes, I do need to accept the need to rest and process everything. I just fear that it's me making excuses and then I'll slide back into old ways. But I genuinely think it's not an excuse. Long buried demons are not to be trifled with apparently. And as much as I hate to admit it, sometimes they knock me on my butt, mentally. Just one phone call and it all came up like brain vomit. If this is what dealing with it feels like now, I truly dread the actual counselling sessions. I'm feeling a little better and emotionally calmer today, at least. 

 

The cold and cough are irritating my lungs right now, but I'm planning a light cardio workout tonight anyway. Tomorrow, I'll just double up on the lifts and get both bench and deadlifts done. I got knocked back a little is all. I'm still fighting. 

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1 hour ago, Rhovaniel said:

If this is what dealing with it feels like now, I truly dread the actual counselling sessions. I'm feeling a little better and emotionally calmer today, at least. 

If you find yourself going through hell, keep going.

-Some guy who's name I can't remember

 

You are opening an old wound to let puss drain out. It isn't going to be easy, it is going to be worth it. You are a Ranger of the Dunedain. You will not fail.

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1 hour ago, Rhovaniel said:

Long buried demons are not to be trifled with apparently. And as much as I hate to admit it, sometimes they knock me on my butt, mentally. Just one phone call and it all came up like brain vomit. If this is what dealing with it feels like now, I truly dread the actual counselling sessions.

If it were easy there wouldn't be such a pressing need to deal with it. You will make it through. Just keep moving forward and it will be better on the other side.

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6 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

If you find yourself going through hell, keep going.

-Some guy who's name I can't remember

 

You are opening an old wound to let puss drain out. It isn't going to be easy, it is going to be worth it. You are a Ranger of the Dunedain. You will not fail.

Winston Churchill. A divisive character, but very quotable ;) And thanks. I needed to read that today. A Ranger of the Dunedain is what I aspire to be :D 

 

5 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

If it were easy there wouldn't be such a pressing need to deal with it. You will make it through. Just keep moving forward and it will be better on the other side.

Very true. Just about the only thing keeping me moving with this instead of running for cover is the hope I'm clinging to, that I emerge from this stronger than ever and at peace both with what I find and who I am. My worst fear is that I find I'm not strong enough to handle it all. 

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Week Two, Thursday

 

Fine. I admit it. I'm ill. Activating Plague Protocols™. *pushes the big red button*

 

Pug-Dog-Funny-Sick-Meme-Picture.jpg

 

Until my head stops feeling like it's stuffed with wool and drifting backwards (mostly at work trying to make my brain concentrate and not make any more mistakes), and I stop being the walking snot factory with a cough for added interest... I reluctantly have to admit that goals are currently adjusted to the following Plague Protocols™:

 

1. Drink all the water. No fizzy, no juice. Water. Hydration will be the sword I slay this beast with. 

2. Continue the strength workouts but be mindful of how I feel. Rest longer between sets if needed. 

3. Cardio workouts to be light (not hard, since even I realise that no running is happening when I feel this crappy). Walks, slow and steady miles on the bike maybe. Something I can breathe through ;) 

4. Eat the best I can. I tried out my spiraliser on a courgette today, and the result was pretty good. Quick and simple, too, so dinner can be courgette spaghetti and protein for a while. Though right now, my appetite seems to have taken a hit. Which isn't actually a bad thing, so long as it doesn't last too long. 

 

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Heal up and feel better.

53 minutes ago, Rhovaniel said:

Winston Churchill. A divisive character, but very quotable ;) And thanks. I needed to read that today. A Ranger of the Dunedain is what I aspire to be :D 

 

I said you ARE a Ranger of the Dunedain. I am The Encourager, the Chaplain of the Ranger Corps, and your guide. If I say you are a Ranger of the Dunedain, you are a Ranger of the Dunedain. 

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35 minutes ago, Rhovaniel said:

Plague Protocols™:

 

Just a thought, based purely on anecdotal evidence, but an additional protocol to consider... when I'm fighting these things I nuke the sickness with hot sauce.  Loads of it, on whatever I'm eating.  I swear it works.

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9 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Heal up and feel better.

I said you ARE a Ranger of the Dunedain. I am The Encourager, the Chaplain of the Ranger Corps, and your guide. If I say you are a Ranger of the Dunedain, you are a Ranger of the Dunedain. 

Well, I'm certainly not going to argue with the Chaplain of the Ranger Corps! :D 

 

9 hours ago, Cheetah said:

 

Just a thought, based purely on anecdotal evidence, but an additional protocol to consider... when I'm fighting these things I nuke the sickness with hot sauce.  Loads of it, on whatever I'm eating.  I swear it works.

Uh... I'm gonna pass. But thanks. Not a huge fan of hot sauce!

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I'm suffering with the same cold, this one does seem to be a particularly evil bugger. Get lots of rest and fluids. I hope you feel better soon.

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The crud sure is going around!  I hope you feel better soon!

 

giphy.gif

 

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22 hours ago, Charlie_Quinn said:

I'm suffering with the same cold, this one does seem to be a particularly evil bugger. Get lots of rest and fluids. I hope you feel better soon.

 

5 hours ago, Stribs said:

The crud sure is going around!  I hope you feel better soon!

Thanks.

 

Friday at work I was... rather less productive than I usually am. I finished my report but I am going to go over it with a fine tooth comb on Monday and see what my ill-addled brain wrote before sending it to QA. My boss ordered pizza for everyone at lunchtime, and my salad got forgotten. I ate three slices, a handful of wedges and a triangle of garlic bread. Hard to say if the carb coma hit or not, since I was already half-asleep and drifting at my desk. Got home and thought I'd take a quick nap. Woke up an hour and a half later disorientated and groggy. Trying to do something else didn't help so at about half past 8 I crawled back into bed... and stayed there. Until quarter past 7 this morning. Woke up a few times through the night (thanks mainly to Frodo) but only for a a couple minutes each time. I must have really needed the rest. 

 

The good news is that whilst my nose is still a little stuffy, I feel more or less human again. Slight headache and the usual sinus issues associated with a cold I can handle. I got back in the gym this morning, but only did three exercises: Bench, Deadlift and one arm dumbbell rows. 5 sets of 8 for the big lifts, 5 sets of 10 for the dumbbell rows. I'll do some light cardio tomorrow, maybe a very slow jog, and hopefully by then I'll be ready to kick Week 3's butt good and hard. 

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Work pizza always puts me to sleep at my desk. It's horrible. I've gotten very good at saying 'thanks but no thanks'. I have an advantage though in that everyone now knows I've lost a huge amount of weight (although it took an amazing amount of time for everyone to realise) and don't really bat an eyelash when I turn stuff down now. 

 

I'm glad your cold is on the way out. I've had the early symptoms floating around the edges for the last few days now. I'm really hoping I don't get sick (although I was mainly hoping i wasn't sick today) 

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So, maybe it's because it's now about three weeks until another intensive BreakPoint weekend, but I started doing some serious thinking about why I want to lose the extra 3-4 kilos and get fitter and stronger. Then I read this article @Super Starling! posted on Tank's thread and it helped pull it into focus for me. Which is good, because for a few months I've been thinking that I hadn't really got a 'Big Why' as the Academy calls it. So, my big why:

 

Why am I doing this? Why am I pushing myself beyond what I’ve ever done, why do I want to get up early and train in the gym, or run till my legs are on fire and I’ve been willing myself not to stop from the very first kilometre? Why do I want to be strong and lean?

 

Because I will not be the Many. I will not bow to peer pressure. I will not give in to body-shaming or backhanded body-complimenting (when people, particularly other women, say you look great/skinny/etc. even though they know that you look heavier than you did the last time they saw you, or worse, they don’t want you to get fit for their own reasons. I’ve even had one acquaintance say it was good I had meat on my bones now, because it was better for when I had kids.) I will not be governed by what society tells me is ‘sexy’, ‘attractive’ or any other label designed to make me feel less for not fitting the mould. The mould is a lie.

 

I fight for my health and my strength because those attributes are necessary for the life I want to live. A life of adventure and challenges. Lived on my terms. I want to conquer obstacles that currently look insurmountable (I’m looking at you, MvL and Three Peaks). I want to be bold. I want to look at something and think ‘I’m going to train for that, and I’m going to do it.’

 

Oh, and because feeling like a strong badass ranger is a worthy life goal all on it's own ;) 

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1 hour ago, Rhovaniel said:

Oh, and because feeling like a strong badass ranger is a worthy life goal all on it's own ;) 

Yes it is! Nothing wrong with saying 'I want to be strong! I want to be powerful, I want to push and challenge myself! I want my body to be able to do things that the Many cannot even imagine being possible!' 

 

All I want from you is to see you stop doubting yourself. You are capable of doing all of this and more. Yes, it will take work and yes, it will require you pushing yourself hard but there is no reason you cannot be strong enough to conquer MvL or Three Peaks and challenges beyond! 

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2 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

Because I will not be the Many. I will not bow to peer pressure. I will not give in to body-shaming or backhanded body-complimenting (when people, particularly other women, say you look great/skinny/etc. even though they know that you look heavier than you did the last time they saw you, or worse, they don’t want you to get fit for their own reasons. I’ve even had one acquaintance say it was good I had meat on my bones now, because it was better for when I had kids.) I will not be governed by what society tells me is ‘sexy’, ‘attractive’ or any other label designed to make me feel less for not fitting the mould. The mould is a lie.

 

I fight for my health and my strength because those attributes are necessary for the life I want to live. A life of adventure and challenges. Lived on my terms. I want to conquer obstacles that currently look insurmountable (I’m looking at you, MvL and Three Peaks). I want to be bold. I want to look at something and think ‘I’m going to train for that, and I’m going to do it.’

 

Oh, and because feeling like a strong badass ranger is a worthy life goal all on it's own ;) 

 

I love this, you badass rangerly individual!!!  Get it!

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On 10/1/2017 at 8:07 PM, jonfirestar said:

Yes it is! Nothing wrong with saying 'I want to be strong! I want to be powerful, I want to push and challenge myself! I want my body to be able to do things that the Many cannot even imagine being possible!' 

 

All I want from you is to see you stop doubting yourself. You are capable of doing all of this and more. Yes, it will take work and yes, it will require you pushing yourself hard but there is no reason you cannot be strong enough to conquer MvL or Three Peaks and challenges beyond! 

Thank you. Doubting myself has been the default position for years, but I am finally finally starting to see that the only limits to what I can do truly are the ones I put in my own way. My mission to keep smashing the blocks and break through my limitations.

 

On 10/1/2017 at 8:57 PM, Stribs said:

 

I love this, you badass rangerly individual!!!  Get it!

 

21 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

That's a really good big why.

Thanks. It's what I need to keep reminding myself of every time I start to falter. 

 

 

Week Three, Monday:

 

Putting my Big Why into words helped kick me back into my routine, and it was a lot easier to get out of bed, dress and go to the gym in the dark. It's not fun, but that's winter for you. Bonus, I actually managed to pack my gym bag last night, so all I had to do was my smoothie. Lunch was already in the work fridge since Friday was Pizza day, though I brought in some chicken thighs for the extra protein. Which I figure can't hurt since I'm back to daily push ups and bar hangs. I don't know when I stopped, but it's time to get back to grease the groove bodyweight exercises. 

Work itself was... challenging. Went through last week's report, got that sent to the next stage and started work on a prelim that is the hardest one I've done yet. It's an awkward shape, in a place with no readily available bombing records (not that we obtain for a prelim stage, anyhow) and in an area that starts off as fields in the early 20th century, so plotting it's exact location on recent mapping is... problematic. I'll get there, but I never felt in the groove today. My computer was slower than normal (as in, type something and it comes up a few seconds later. Click something and it takes a full minute to think about it), randomly put itself into what must be standby mode since when it woke up again (I didn't even push any buttons, I just went to get some water and let it have its tantrum ;)) all my documents were exactly how I left them. Frustrating, but I'm sure tomorrow I can handle it. 

 

Also had a proper dinner, and made a second helping for tomorrow! One of my 'throw it in the pan and see what happens' dishes. Browned some mince, added some chilli sauce (from a jar, but hey, i'll get there. And it had whole beans in it :)), a half tin of baked beans to bulk it up and cooked on high till I figured it looked done enough. Took maybe 15 minutes total, added a splash of worchester sauce and it was a pretty decent meal. 

 

Oh, just remembered this. This morning, the water delivery came. Our water cooler bottles are heavy (i will have to check how much they hold). So when one of the managers popped his head through the door to ask for a couple of 'strong guys' to help carry them up the stairs, of course I decided to get up and go help. Heavy, yes. Actually sort of heavier than I was expecting... But I managed two trips up the stairs with one in each hand. Was glad when it was all done though! Definitely a lot heavier than the weights I usually use for a farmer's carry in the gym, so I was kinda impressed with myself. :D 

 

All in all, a good day. I think I need to keep an eye on water intake though. I've noticed I've got a bit slack with it and then wonder why I have a headache and I'm so thirsty....

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“All You Have To Decide Is What To Do With The Time That Is Given To You.” - Gandalf

 

Current Challenge: A Bold New Year

 

 

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2 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

readily available bombing records

We agreed you would stop using strategic bombing as a method to express your frustration ;) 

 

2 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

Oh, just remembered this. This morning, the water delivery came. Our water cooler bottles are heavy (i will have to check how much they hold). So when one of the managers popped his head through the door to ask for a couple of 'strong guys' to help carry them up the stairs, of course I decided to get up and go help. Heavy, yes. Actually sort of heavier than I was expecting... But I managed two trips up the stairs with one in each hand. Was glad when it was all done though! Definitely a lot heavier than the weights I usually use for a farmer's carry in the gym, so I was kinda impressed with myself. :D 

 

All in all, a good day. I think I need to keep an eye on water intake though. I've noticed I've got a bit slack with it and then wonder why I have a headache and I'm so thirsty....

I feel compelled to point out the irony in you not getting enough water after showing off your strength by carrying it up all those stairs.

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"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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Lots of little victories!  Gym!  Proper dinner! Being a badass (again)!  Get it!!

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“Do I dare disturb the universe?” – T.S. Eliot

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5 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

 

Oh, just remembered this. This morning, the water delivery came. Our water cooler bottles are heavy (i will have to check how much they hold). So when one of the managers popped his head through the door to ask for a couple of 'strong guys' to help carry them up the stairs, of course I decided to get up and go help. Heavy, yes. Actually sort of heavier than I was expecting... But I managed two trips up the stairs with one in each hand. Was glad when it was all done though! Definitely a lot heavier than the weights I usually use for a farmer's carry in the gym, so I was kinda impressed with myself. :D 

 

All in all, a good day. I think I need to keep an eye on water intake though. I've noticed I've got a bit slack with it and then wonder why I have a headache and I'm so thirsty....

 

giphy.gif

 

Nice job! Always good to remind people that it's not only guys who can be strong ;) 

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9 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

We agreed you would stop using strategic bombing as a method to express your frustration ;) 

 

I feel compelled to point out the irony in you not getting enough water after showing off your strength by carrying it up all those stairs.

We did? It slipped my mind... :D

Aha, yes that thought had occured to me too!

 

6 hours ago, Stribs said:

Lots of little victories!  Gym!  Proper dinner! Being a badass (again)!  Get it!!

Thanks! 

6 hours ago, EmeraldEagle said:

 

giphy.gif

 

Nice job! Always good to remind people that it's not only guys who can be strong ;) 

It is! I mean, most people in the office know I go to the gym but its still nice to challenge the thought that anything physically demanding needs a male to help with. 

 

Got up and before I got in the shower I decided to step on the scales. Dead on 73kg. Dammit. I fluctuate between 72 and 73kg so its not a leap up or anything but it's annoying. I really need to get over the calorie counting issue and just do it.

“All You Have To Decide Is What To Do With The Time That Is Given To You.” - Gandalf

 

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Spoiler

Previous Challenges: 1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13 1415|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|2728 29|30

The Chronicles of Rhovaniel, Dúnedain Ranger: Vol I, Vol IIVol III, Interim| Vol IV|Vol V 

 

 

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