RisenPhoenix Posted September 14, 2017 Report Share Posted September 14, 2017 When we last left our hero.... he had written this entire thing and then the page reloaded and he lost it all. This is a prime example to how my life has been over the last several weeks, and probably why I am such a mess of self loathing, anxiety, and stress right now. Bear with me, this is now going to be the cliff notes version of the very long post I just wrote up. 1) The Shrine of ressurection I'm a mess. I'm a ball of stress and anxiety, and a large amount is self-inflicted by how I schedule things in my life. I tend to try and fill up every nook and cranny with things, and as of late that's been murder to me. I need to strip a whole lot away and focus on being in a better place mentally. So this first goal is less an weekly one, and more a "get things settled in the first week" one. I need to get some relaxation in, and I need to take a whole week to accomplish it. Goal: Self-care via removal. Sleep. Self-care. Unwind. Watch the diet. Tell people to piss off No for social things. I'm going to spend the first week sleeping in (relatively), having a nice and laid back morning routine, try to keep work to a 40ish hour work week, and ditch pretty much all my physical activities. Yes, you read that right. My morning activities make me get up at 5:30 and rush to wake up. Aikido makes me not get home until 8 or 9PM and then rush around to prep for the morning/eat before trying to get to sleep at a reasonable hour. I need to free up some time just to get myself to unwind a bit. I love aikido, lifting, and November Project, but right now I don't want to force myself to adhere to anyone else's schedule but my own. I have been running around like crazy the last few weeks (months?), and I have definitely shirked selfcare more than I should have. 2) The Cooking Pot My diet has been creeping up in the carb category lately, and I'm not a fan. I've been feeling bloated and gassy and gross the last couple of weeks, and I'm starting to wonder if it's that carb macro creeping up. Less from the carbs themselves, more from their sources. Work has (not shockingly) a lot of free carby snacks available. So I want to try and limit those. Goal: Reduce carb intake. Only have 1 granola bar from work a day. Bring fat and protein heavy snacks to work. Walk to long way back to my desk to avoid the junk food box. Hopefully I can feel somewhat better by eating less junk. Nothing I have been eating is inherently bad, but I think the quantity is getting to me. Also if it comes with losing half an inch or so around my gut, so much the better. 3) Sheikah Slate Update So a large chunk of my stress comes from this: I'm over half way through my contract period at work. And while my boss has flat out said that she intends to fight to get me a job full time after the contract ends, the fact of the matter is that statement is a far cry from "You have a full time job after this." So I need to make sure I have irons in the fire to cover myself, because at the moment I can't see a very good argument for her to present besides "We like him and he works hard." Good things to say, for sure, but not great when the workload isn't going to be the same once the person I'm covering for comes back and when we just had a former intern return on a part-time basis to cover smaller tasks. Goal: Update my resume, start looking twice a week for positions. Spend 1-2 hours on Saturdays applying to potential positions. Interestingly, this will be the first time I am applying to places while employed AND enjoy what I'm doing. I suspect that'll add to the demotivation factor, so I'll need to combat that somehow. No idea how, so if people have suggestions, that would be great. 4) The Adulting Adventure Log Just the general list of Adulting Tasks: Spend a day to clean the bathroom (yes, it is that gross and requires that much of my attention to actually do the damn thing). Then clean 10 minutes a week. Take out AC unit from bedroom window. Register for Fenway Spartan Sprint Figure out if I can help a friend cover his booth at King Richard's Faire Help prepare dojo for the annual seminar (Oct 13-15) I'm sure I have more than few other adulting things. I just need to not die in a puddled ball of stress in the next week to remember them. 6 Quote RisenPhoenix, the Entish Aikidoka Challenge: RisenPhoenix Turns to Ash "The essence of koryu [...is] you offer your loyalty to something that you choose to regard as greater than yourself so that you will, someday, be able to offer service to something that truly is transcendent." ~ Ellis Amdur, Old School Link to comment
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