Siferiax' journey of recovery

[Siferiax]

This is a little weird for me... This is my 10th challenge, but it feels like my first.

The last challenge I did was november 2013. Then I left NF. But now I'm back!

 

Diet goals

- Don't buy snacks on weekdays (morning and afternoon)

- Dare to say no to cake at work at least 2 times this challenge

 

Fitness goal

- Do therapy exercises at least every other day

 

Level up life goal

- Stop electronic activity at 9:30pm

 

I'm currently dealing with some medical issues due to having hyper-mobility. See my battle log for more details.

So that's why my challenge is rather simple

I currently have 8 exercises as well as 1 relaxation exercise. I wish to do 4 exercises a day, but at least do them every other day at minimum.

 

(also I used to be an assassin, but right now I don't know where my fitness journey will take me, so I decided that for now I'll just be a rebel )

[fleaball]

Hey welcome back! Simple challenges that work for you are totally acceptable.

[Jlailin]

I wasn't here when you were last at NF, but welcome back! 

 

9 hours ago, Siferiax said:

Diet goals

- Don't buy snacks on weekdays (morning and afternoon)

- Dare to say no to cake at work at least 2 times this challenge

Love these goals!  I've got to try that cake one myself.  Free work time treats are usually the bane of healthy eating for me. 

 

Best of luck on your challenge! 

[zeroh13]

Welcome back!

 

The hyper-mobility issues sound rough. I hope your therapy exercises help.

 

17 hours ago, Siferiax said:

(also I used to be an assassin, but right now I don't know where my fitness journey will take me, so I decided that for now I'll just be a rebel )

All the best rebels used to be assassins.

[Siferiax]

13 hours ago, fleaball said:

Hey welcome back! Simple challenges that work for you are totally acceptable.

 

Thanks! 

 

13 hours ago, Jlailin said:

I wasn't here when you were last at NF, but welcome back! 

 

Love these goals!  I've got to try that cake one myself.  Free work time treats are usually the bane of healthy eating for me. 

 

Best of luck on your challenge! 

 

Thank you  

Yes, I'm fortunate there is not cake often, but I always take it.

 

5 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

Welcome back!

 

The hyper-mobility issues sound rough. I hope your therapy exercises help.

 

All the best rebels used to be assassins.

 

Thank you!

Yes it's very frustrating, especially because I finally found motivation to exercise... and hit a brick wall in the form of my body just being NOPE.

 

Lol. For now I just have to see what I can do, which best makes me fit with the Rebels I think.

I also like the idea of not being pinned down as any one thing  

[Siferiax]

Today's goal: do my therapy exercises. 

 

I didn't do them Friday, or yesterday, so today I HAVE to do them.

 

Yesterday was a bit of a fail in some way. Wrote about it in my battle log.

 

Today though, the challenge starts and I will have to be my best!

I will try to update here daily with my progress. But no promises.

[Siferiax]

Goal achieved!

I did all 8 exercises and sort of figured out how to do the relaxation exercise, but it wasn't ideal.

 

I have to lay down on my back and then have my legs up in a 90 degree angle.

With my lower legs supported, so that my back can relax.

My BF and I couldn't quite find a suitable elevated place to put my legs on.

 

Also the foods I ate were okay.

Homemade cheese bread for brunch, with mandatory homemade cappuccino and mug of warm milk.

Cauliflower, minced meat and left over cheese sauce/filling for dinner.

NOM!

 

I also closed down my computer at 9:30 pm.

 

This morning I didn't go snack shopping  

Tonight I have a new therapy session.

[Wobbegong]

Hey Siferiax! Glad to see your challenge is going well so far. I've seen you around in a few other people's challenges so I'm glad I finally found yours! 

 

Looks like you have a good set of goals. The workplace food one is a real tough thing to overcome, my sympathies! My mom feels so awkward about it she usually will "take a piece for later" and then bring it home in the hopes me or my dad will eat it! Thanks a lot, Mom! 

 

For your lying down relaxation goal, it can be tough to get into position, but would doing it against a wall work? I sometimes sit like that on my bed, on my back with my legs upright against the wall. Walls make very good supports. 

 

Best of luck with your challenge and don't hesitate to shout out if you need anything!  We're all here to help each other. 

[Siferiax]

Hey Siferiax! Glad to see your challenge is going well so far. I've seen you around in a few other people's challenges so I'm glad I finally found yours! 
 
Looks like you have a good set of goals. The workplace food one is a real tough thing to overcome, my sympathies! My mom feels so awkward about it she usually will "take a piece for later" and then bring it home in the hopes me or my dad will eat it! Thanks a lot, Mom! 
 
For your lying down relaxation goal, it can be tough to get into position, but would doing it against a wall work? I sometimes sit like that on my bed, on my back with my legs upright against the wall. Walls make very good supports. 
 
Best of luck with your challenge and don't hesitate to shout out if you need anything! [emoji3] We're all here to help each other. 

Hey! Thank you for stopping by

I try to do my best with what I can do right now.
And yeah work place treats are something I don't need/want to stop entirely right now, I just want to be able to make a conscious choice. Not snack because it happens to be there.

Unfortunately I have to place my lower legs on a surface, so that won't really work. But I'll figure it out.

Thanks again!!

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[Siferiax]

Didn't buy snacks yesterday afternoon! So that's going well.
I feel that having an extra "responsibility" toward my challenge really helps here.

So far no work treats have happened, so that's easy.

Had therapy and my gosh! Three new exercises added to the roster.
Including squats, but then maybe half squats for you guys? [emoji14]
No muscle pain this time though!

Didn't close down at 9:30, but at 9:45.
Such is life... I mean it was my own fault this time [emoji14]
The movie took longer than expected...

This morning I went in for shoe soles. I will get them October 6th. I'm excited and hopeful!
So far no snacks, but I still need to pass through "snack heaven" aka the train station.


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[Siferiax]

No snacks bought yesterday. But man it was hard!
Temptation hit me at every corner yesterday afternoon.
I made it though!

Did do my exercises. Half of them. Today the other half.
Still need a fitness mat, but for now I'll manage.

Found out that the desk chair is the right height for my relaxation exercise! So that helps.

Closed down at 8:30. I was kinda drained from sleeping badly the last few days. Went to sleep early. Still slept badly though.

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[Jlailin]

10 hours ago, Siferiax said:

No snacks bought yesterday. But man it was hard!
Temptation hit me at every corner yesterday afternoon.
I made it though!

Yay!  Good job!   It's tough when the snacks are right in front of you.  I will sometimes avoid sections in the grocery store to remove the temptation of buying things like a huge box of cookies (because it's more economical when you buy it in bulk, right?  ).  Glad you beat it!

 

10 hours ago, Siferiax said:

Found out that the desk chair is the right height for my relaxation exercise! So that helps.

Huzzah!  Glad you found something that works for your exercise!

 

10 hours ago, Siferiax said:

Closed down at 8:30. I was kinda drained from sleeping badly the last few days. Went to sleep early. Still slept badly though.

Aww, sorry you're having a tough time sleeping.  For me, that's one of the most frustrating things--your rest time gets turned into stressful time.  Bleh.  Sometimes I'll distract myself by reading myself to sleep.  For some reason that works better for me than just staring in the dark and telling myself I need to sleep.  Hope you sleep better tonight!  

[Siferiax]

13 hours ago, Jlailin said:

Yay!  Good job!   It's tough when the snacks are right in front of you.  I will sometimes avoid sections in the grocery store to remove the temptation of buying things like a huge box of cookies (because it's more economical when you buy it in bulk, right?  ).  Glad you beat it!

 

Huzzah!  Glad you found something that works for your exercise!

 

Aww, sorry you're having a tough time sleeping.  For me, that's one of the most frustrating things--your rest time gets turned into stressful time.  Bleh.  Sometimes I'll distract myself by reading myself to sleep.  For some reason that works better for me than just staring in the dark and telling myself I need to sleep.  Hope you sleep better tonight!  

 

YES! Especially when you have to traverse a train station with food shops EVERYWHERE

The grocery store is generally not so much an issue as I rarely visit it (I have man power for that )

 

The falling asleep part is not the issue. My body just feels it's a good idea to wake up at ungodly times and be done with sleeping.

Been up for 2 hours now, it's 8 am... Was awake for 30 min before that. (I was able to sleep in for a change.......)

[Siferiax]

No snack buying, but did buy my dinner at the train station... because I had to get dinner for myself.

 

No work snacks... how easy will this goal be

 

No exercises done unfortunately...

I'm not even going to make excuses.

 

Closed down at 9:30 pm. Didn't necessarily need to, so extra proud I did anyway.

[Jlailin]

11 hours ago, Siferiax said:

The falling asleep part is not the issue. My body just feels it's a good idea to wake up at ungodly times and be done with sleeping.

Been up for 2 hours now, it's 8 am... Was awake for 30 min before that. (I was able to sleep in for a change.......)

Aww, that's no fun.  D:  When that happens for me, I'll sometimes just get up and go do something instead of laying in bed and not sleeping.  ...Depending on my  schedule that sometimes works and that sometimes makes the work day oh so fun the next day as I'm loopy from not sleeping at all..

 

11 hours ago, Siferiax said:

No snack buying, but did buy my dinner at the train station... because I had to get dinner for myself.

 

No work snacks... how easy will this goal be

  YAY!   Combating snacks with meals is usually pretty effective.  I'll sometimes bargain with myself and say I can get something special for dinner if I don't get the snack.

 

 

[zeroh13]

How was the rest of your week, @Siferiax? Have you been getting your exercises in?

[Siferiax]

I have ditched NF in favor of vacation!

So no snacks buying and no work snacks obviously.
We shall ignore the muffin, marzipan and cotton candy. (Omg cotton candy, so long since I had that, the pure sugar goodness was great!)

No exercises done since last therapy session. New session just now.

I deal very badly with routine switches. Blame my autism (easy way out)
But routine is back and so I'm back to kick butt!

Closing down electronics didn't suffer so badly. Except for one day I went late to bed.

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[Siferiax]

No snacks bought, but man the cupcakes!
Colleague is going away and had brought delicious cupcakes instead of the standard pie, so couldn't resist!
I took one and there's another one I didn't eat in my bag to share with my BF :3

Therapy left me unable to walk in the afternoon or something
When going home my hip was screaming and I barely made it to the tram. My BF picking me up by car on the other side. (This avoided a 5-10 min walk... It was that bad)
Pain is still not completely gone and I really hate this happened.

Otherwise not much is happening right now.

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[Jlailin]

13 hours ago, Siferiax said:

We shall ignore the muffin, marzipan and cotton candy. (Omg cotton candy, so long since I had that, the pure sugar goodness was great!)

Ohhh, cotton candy...  I don't know when was the last time I had that.  That sounds so good!  

 

2 hours ago, Siferiax said:

No snacks bought, but man the cupcakes!
Colleague is going away and had brought delicious cupcakes instead of the standard pie, so couldn't resist!
I took one and there's another one I didn't eat in my bag to share with my BF :3

Your goal is technically just not to buy snacks, yes?  ...so the cupcakes shouldn't count.  xDDD

 

2 hours ago, Siferiax said:

Therapy left me unable to walk in the afternoon or something
When going home my hip was screaming and I barely made it to the tram. My BF picking me up by car on the other side. (This avoided a 5-10 min walk... It was that bad)
Pain is still not completely gone and I really hate this happened.

Aww, sorry you're in pain.   Lots of hugs, and I hope it resolves itself! <3  

[Siferiax]

14 hours ago, Jlailin said:

Ohhh, cotton candy...  I don't know when was the last time I had that.  That sounds so good!  

 

Your goal is technically just not to buy snacks, yes?  ...so the cupcakes shouldn't count.  xDDD

 

Aww, sorry you're in pain.   Lots of hugs, and I hope it resolves itself! <3  

 

My goal is also to refuse snacks at work twice this challenge XD

 

Yeah it's not fully gone yet, but it will go away.

To truly resolve it though, I feel I'm still far away from it, but on the right path. (therapy and shoe soles)

Thanks!

[Jlailin]

4 hours ago, Siferiax said:

My goal is also to refuse snacks at work twice this challenge XD

Oh, whoops.  Forgot about that one. xD  ...It's okay, I'm certain more opportunities to refuse snacks will come!  One certainty in life is the ever bountiful office snack hoard.  

 

4 hours ago, Siferiax said:

Yeah it's not fully gone yet, but it will go away.

To truly resolve it though, I feel I'm still far away from it, but on the right path. (therapy and shoe soles)

Thanks!

Hope the therapy and shoe soles help you get there!  <3  

 

I had to jump on google because I don't fully understand hypermobility (before you, I'd only ever heard of it in gymnastics, but it was a very mild version that didn't cause pain but just an over extended angle in the arms when in the start/finish position), but I'm still a little confused.  Can the cause of it be resolved or is the idea to change your movements with the therapy and soles to strengthen other muscles to avoid the pain?  

[Siferiax]

Hope the therapy and shoe soles help you get there!    
I had to jump on google because I don't fully understand hypermobility (before you, I'd only ever heard of it in gymnastics, but it was a very mild version that didn't cause pain but just an over extended angle in the arms when in the start/finish position), but I'm still a little confused.  Can the cause of it be resolved or is the idea to change your movements with the therapy and soles to strengthen other muscles to avoid the pain?  

Yes well I'm this special flower [emoji14]
I'm not completely hyper mobile. I'm very selectively so. Meaning not all my joints can do crazy things.
In my specific case mostly my hands and shoulders are super flexible.
One of my shoulders has had surgery for this reason. But for a shoulder which had surgery it's still very flexible, just not crazy anymore.
My problem right now is my hips though.
What is happening though is that the flexibility of my foot and the lack of strength in the inner part, the arc, makes me stand inward a lot.
This causes all kinds of issues and the shoe soles should correct that.
The therapy is specifically to make my core strength better. But not with the usual exercises that get thrown around here. Those generally overburden my body.
So instead I do these really small, really efficient things. (And the muscle pain tells me it does it's thing [emoji14] )

So long story short, the cause can't be fixed. It's something I will have to live with. However I can do things to make it not suck so much

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[Siferiax]

Been a little bad with staying on top of NF. I will just focus on updating my thread and managing my challenge.

So far still 100% on no snack buying.
Work snack refusal failed once for now.

Exercises have not been done since last therapy session
I should really get on top of these.
But I've been hung up on a new addiction which makes it hard for me to do things. (It's a site, nothing truly bad...)
I need to plan them better, instead of having a reminder go off at 8pm that I promptly ignore, because "I'm busy right now leave me alone".
Hurray good job brain. (FYI my brain doesn't do priorities, everything is equally important. It takes effort to manually override this setting when it's a problem)

Shutting down at 9:30pm has been equally difficult because of this.

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[Siferiax]

/Rant
I'm very frustrated by my inability to function as a normal human being.
Getting diagnosed with autism has helped a lot, but I still feel I need to do more/better. Except you know, I'm unable to, because autism isn't something you can just work hard to overcome it.
But I'm very aware of what is happening and that makes it so annoying!
When you finally take a break from something and your brain is like oh yeah btw you really need to go to the bathroom, and you're super hungry, also thirsty, and here's a million other things I forgot to tell you about while you were doing a thing...
Yeah... My brain doesn't prioritize. Not all signals make it to my consciousness. Especially not when I'm busy with a thing.
That my boyfriend checks in, shouldn't you eat?
Why?
Because it's 2 pm, you've been up since 8 am and haven't eaten anything substantial.
Oh. (Brain takes note) yes actually I'm terribly hungry.

And that's so annoying!
On the other end of that spectrum, my brain also refuses to send "full" signals on time. So if I don't stop myself, my stomach will be like. Seriously I'm full. I'm going to make you feel sick now to get my point across.

My obsessive nature, my easy routine forming ability, and just generally having a brain with a few wires wrongly connected, gets so frustrating. But I'm slightly helpless to substantially change it.
I manage, but it's still frustrating.

Also everything, especially social things costs so much energy it's ridiculous.
And not in the introvert kind of way. More in the I can't function anymore and need to seriously recharge because I met a stranger. I had to remember all the social rules and which ones apply to the current situation.
Like someone explain to me when do you give someone their birthday present when you go to their birthday party.
That's not something that goes on autopilot, but something I have to consciously decide. And then feel I did it wrong as other people handle it differently. And then you have to take that new input and process it and try to do better next time.

When is the exact moment you shake hands when saying goodbye?
Like when you go away from a professional like a doctor. It seems appropriate to shake hands then. But when would one do such a thing?
I don't know. So I fail to do this. Until like someone offers their hand and it's like, oh hand, should shake it.

When and for how long do you make eye contact? When is it appropriate to look away again, look back again?
How does this thing work?

When can and can't you interrupt someone?
I feel it's rude, but if you don't, you never get a say. But if you time it wrong people get offended.

All these questions I need to figure out on a day to day basis.
Choices to make to avoid things as much a possible.
Finding people to trust with your weirdness. (I tend to say meaningless shit, burst into random songs, and dance, and other inappropriate things)

Sigh. Life is made too hard for someone like me. Life is made for overachievers with loud mouths.
Not quiet hard workers who just wanna be left alone.
/Rant

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[Jlailin]

On 10/1/2017 at 2:12 AM, Siferiax said:

Yes well I'm this special flower
I'm not completely hyper mobile. I'm very selectively so. Meaning not all my joints can do crazy things.
In my specific case mostly my hands and shoulders are super flexible.
One of my shoulders has had surgery for this reason. But for a shoulder which had surgery it's still very flexible, just not crazy anymore.
My problem right now is my hips though.
What is happening though is that the flexibility of my foot and the lack of strength in the inner part, the arc, makes me stand inward a lot.
This causes all kinds of issues and the shoe soles should correct that.
The therapy is specifically to make my core strength better. But not with the usual exercises that get thrown around here. Those generally overburden my body.
So instead I do these really small, really efficient things. (And the muscle pain tells me it does it's thing )

So long story short, the cause can't be fixed. It's something I will have to live with. However I can do things to make it not suck so much

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk
 

Thank you for explaining this to me!  <3  I hope the shoe soles and therapy help you out!

 

On 10/1/2017 at 2:38 AM, Siferiax said:

/Rant
I'm very frustrated by my inability to function as a normal human being.
Getting diagnosed with autism has helped a lot, but I still feel I need to do more/better. Except you know, I'm unable to, because autism isn't something you can just work hard to overcome it.
But I'm very aware of what is happening and that makes it so annoying!
When you finally take a break from something and your brain is like oh yeah btw you really need to go to the bathroom, and you're super hungry, also thirsty, and here's a million other things I forgot to tell you about while you were doing a thing...
Yeah... My brain doesn't prioritize. Not all signals make it to my consciousness. Especially not when I'm busy with a thing.

I can't say that I can truly empathize with what you're going through, but I send lots and lots of hugs!  <3  Your situation sounds incredibly frustrating (especially because you're aware of what's happening all the time), and I admire your strength of living with it everyday.  I haven't personally met someone autistic before (at least that I know of), but I have a close friend with severe seasonal depression.  It's not the same thing, but come winter, her brain's rationality will shut down and ordinary people rules don't apply.  I don't know how she gets through it.  Life is tough enough as it is, but for people like you and my friend, I don't know how you guys do it.  I majorly applaud you.  

 

On 10/1/2017 at 2:38 AM, Siferiax said:

Finding people to trust with your weirdness. (I tend to say meaningless shit, burst into random songs, and dance, and other inappropriate things)

This is so difficult to find, but so wonderful when it actually happens.  I hope you find these people!  <3

 

On 10/1/2017 at 2:38 AM, Siferiax said:

Sigh. Life is made too hard for someone like me. Life is made for overachievers with loud mouths.
Not quiet hard workers who just wanna be left alone.
/Rant

I feel you on this one.  If you've ever heard of the DISC personality types, I'm a primary S (supportive) and secondary I (inspirational), which basically means I primarily like to be a quiet, supportive hard worker, but I have moments of wanting to be the sparkly, dazzling social butterfly that wows the room.  My comfort zone is definitely the quiet mode, but I do feel like I have the potential to gain a lot when I'm in sparkly mode.  E.G. People notice you when you actually speak up and they'll usually work with you or help you out.  I feel like you can get by in quiet mode, but people that are louder tend to move faster.  ...But that said, being in quiet mode isn't a terrible thing.  Many times I love finding another quiet soul to just sit with.  Quiet folks may not always get on with the louder people, but when the quiet people find each other, it's like finding still islands in a stream.  The two can rest together and watch the rushing waters of the world swirl around them.  It's not so bad with the right company.  <3