Bouncer Attempting to go With the Flow

[Loveable_Bouncer]

Thank you @Leigh for making sure I get on the right thread within 24 hours.... Whoops.

 

*copy and paste*

Back with the Druids after my respawn, since a lot of my goals revolve around being mindful while doing them. Along with things that keep me happy is getting outdoors…

 

So I figured out when I respawned giving myself $1 for hitting goals that are a tad difficult has been working. Only way to keep this up though is keeping my budget to what I can live off of and side extra money, and helping to maintain myself.

 

Main goals:

 

   - Daily DBT Dairy Card (Dialectical behavior therapy): For my therapy to checkoff the skills I use and emotions for that day.

-Side goal: Will make a page in my bullet journal across from my weekly challenge page. I can make these in the beginning of the challenge but they had to be made (found it makes tracking tens times easier, even though it takes 30 mins to make the page). (2 of 4 pages are filled so far for this challenge (9/20))

 

2.  - “Learn to Feed Myself” -Sticking to a weekly food budget (with a grocery list), grocery shopping once a week for my main stables, writing down my main stables for the week. I learned I need to figure out how to feed myself no matter what my mood or life is at- based on this video.

-Daily Bonus if I don’t buy any extra food (mainly convenient food) with reward money (basically the extra calories I want but don’t need). The exception to this rule is finding out I miscalculated on food to have at home or cooking a healthy meal with reward money (buying ingredients for making a meal to get enough calories) or stocking up on cheaper food options. 

-Extra bonus: Writing a list of wants and a list for needs in bullet journal. Pretty much able to break down items on paper for an extra step. Along with me remembering what I need when I do go shopping… (Become more aware of my actual budget).

 

3.       20 mins of Base maintenance: Picking up my apartment for 20 mins each day, can help keep my apartment from turning into pure chaos… (A fact that I questionably avoid with ninja like moves).

 

4.       Keeping the darkness away…   Hiking 3 times a week. Writing 444 words of creativity on 4thewords (attempting every day).  These two things are my biggest boosters on raising my light magic that helps keep the darkness away (But like any good goals I resist). (I will be tracking each as their own, for a $1 each day.)  "Screens off" (when I get home in the evening and kept off until I'm ready for the next day, or at the next location). ($1 reward for each morning and evening)

 

5.       Work on homework during the weekdays – Every 1 hour of productive study is a $1… My goal is 10 hours, but working on it a bit every day is better than nothing. I get a a free $1 if I study at least 30 mins that day.

 

6.       Fake it till I Make it – I’m waking up new emotions, and trying new things. Which means ordinary things for every day be even more difficult to do. From showing up to work on time and actually working at work. or staying positive when its tough I’ll give myself a point. (This is very broad but I’ll note as I go on.)  (Right now I'll stick to work for the main goal to help define, else all the other goals fit in the Weekly Side goals). 

 

Weekly side goals (here I put all the goals I need to get on a weekly basis or doing for trial to be a main goal, all will have deadlines I have to report back to). Or these are also my monthly challenges. Or part of bigger challenges but challenges I’ve broken down to duckling steps. (This is combined a bit to Fake it till I Make it- lots of these goals I have a bit anxiety around and avoid until I must do it... If I don't do by myself my "negative" is asking for help from a professional)

Week One: Sept. 17^th – 23^rd 

Spoiler

-Go to PowWow on 23rd (social monthly goal)

-Figure out details of Rec and Park Conference in October

-Turn Paperwork and fee to professor I haven't talked with yet for Rec and Park stuff....

-Notify work about days to take off

-Email IT professor about the Conference and best approach

-Email IT professor about when the exam is happening

-Make appointment with resource office for testing room 

-Turn in Paper due on 19^th on time

-Email Department to help subsitute classes

 

1

1

2

Week Two: Sept. 24^th – Sept. 30^th:

-turn in Presentation on time, and have practiced for Presentation at least 3 times (3 different days)

^-figure out how to celebrate brother’s birthday (with cake and special candle) (yes I need a reminder, sadly my brother can fall into the cracks if I'm not careful)

Week 3: October 1^st – 7^th

 

Week 4: October 8^th – 14^th

-MRPA conference (Tuesday-Friday) (monthly social adventure)

 

Note: Yup, lot’s of money points. However, when I’m taking out my extra spending and relooking at my needs (whole control over my impulse shopping). It’s pretty much having me work on being more mindful on my money, instead of spending a ton of money on extra unneeded items and extra calories that make my life worst.

 

Rewards won so far:

Week 1:

$5 towards school treat money.... (Earned!)

$10 random chipotle money... (earned!)

$2 amazing cinnamon roll.... (earned!)

$25 club fee for the year (earned)

$12 burger money, it was worth it.... (on deck)

[Vibrantella]

Good luck with your challenge!  

[Loveable_Bouncer]

12 hours ago, Vibrantella said:

Good luck with your challenge!  

Thank you! Will need it!

 

 

Started the challenge over the weekend with a good house cleaning (found out on Friday they are going through apartments for today....). So with a work weekend I did cleaning both after work on Saturday (procrastinated like crazy on this day) and Sunday (vacuumed like crazy). Realized it was my monthly milestone since school started, so it was more than needed. Still need to tackle some of the dishes and clean off kitchen surface/fridge. But realized it was a nice way to start the challenge (after I actually realized walking around my apartment without an obstacle course is nice).

 

Hiked one of the river trails around my museum job on a Sunday, got work reward bonus since I showed up and technically worked 90% of the time of my told jobs.

Today was cold and rainy... Along with being Monday (I am so happy I didn't have anything scheduled until noon).

Pretty much adding to my "extras" list when I've noticed a list of things I've been avoiding but have need to get done by the end of the week. Getting an idea I need a new strategy to work on these extra goals. Since I can't use them to procrastinating on studying and I throw them out the window when I get home (going to find a different computer to use for jumping on when having to ask questions or contact people.... Perk of a larger school, many options.)

 

Realized at therapy today, most of my "weekly side goals' are me facing fears. (Since of course Anxiety is a form of fear...). Last week I learned my knee gut reaction is either to get angry (fight mode) or procrastinate/trigger depression... (flight). By how my list is getting longer, I can already tell it's going to be a really quick/long/tiring week of learning.... Pretty much knowing if I can keep on going for the next month I will be able to tell myself "yup you can try 3 classes next semester because of that new pretty independent study class....)

 

 

1 more thing! Today I discovered Cocoa Tea at my school's coffee shop, (needed something warm after getting soaked when walking to the school...) It was one of their Decaf options, yummm. Found my replacement for Matcha Lattes (had to quit them shortly after discovering them due to new meds had me quit caffeine)... Going to see about buying some to try at home, since I have a feeling the shop puts a ton of sugar in it (most likely a syrup). While what I've read on the internet its the comfort of Cocoa without the extra sugar... (Sounds like a perfect winter drink to me). If anyone knows of anything of this awesome tasting stuff let me know.

 

Going to squeeze 30 mins of study time today because I have other list of needs to get done tonight at home. This "going with the flow" and "productivity" is still something I can't wrap my head around...

 

 

[Equinoxe]

Best of luck!! I joined up with the Druids for the same reason; focusing on mindfulness for this challenge (and probably many to come).

 

Cocoa Tea sounds deliiiicious, and it's probably very relaxing as well. I don't know anything about it, but let us know if you find some! It sounds like a good comfort in the midst of a strong challenge. Rooting for you!

[Murphy's Roommate]

Mindfulness will be a challenge for me in the future, I'm not there yet.

 

Looking forward to seeing this challenge!

 

 - Murphy's Roommate

[Sunmage]

Welcome back, good luck and have fun!

Bonus point for usage of Resilience in the title! 

[Loveable_Bouncer]

23 hours ago, Equinoxe said:

Best of luck!! I joined up with the Druids for the same reason; focusing on mindfulness for this challenge (and probably many to come).

 

Cocoa Tea sounds deliiiicious, and it's probably very relaxing as well. I don't know anything about it, but let us know if you find some! It sounds like a good comfort in the midst of a strong challenge. Rooting for you!

Thank you, will have to check out your challenge for sure...  Will share if I get my hands on it!

 

19 hours ago, Murphy's Roommate said:

Mindfulness will be a challenge for me in the future, I'm not there yet.

 

Looking forward to seeing this challenge!

 

 - Murphy's Roommate

Thank you for stopping by, and more than understand the slowly getting to mindfulness. I realize looking back over the last couple years that I had some small tools but actually working toward it was a whole other story, thankful I was able to get into therapy especially after the realization of how much I have to change my worldview and way of thinking to enjoy life better.

 

18 hours ago, Sunmage said:

Welcome back, good luck and have fun!

Bonus point for usage of Resilience in the title! 

Thank you!

Appreciate it!

[Loveable_Bouncer]

So procrastinating on homework once more... But I got a hike in today! A must need after having a melt down this morning (just an hour after I woke up...). Sadly my mother was in the cross-hairs of my wrath, but by the sound of it I woke up her a bit from her own "feeling stuck".

 

When I finally calmed down at work (had nearly taken me a couple hours to fully calm down... which was interesting on try to do things with). I realized the needed change I need to do is get more sleep/rest, I'm taking away old coping habits with some new good ones. I realized though with my life (and so far in the future) I will always have something to go do every single day... (Even when I take days off to be my rest days... example PowWow this Saturday on my 2nd day off of September). I however I know I can't give myself a bed time, or a "time I should be up" everyday since I cringe at that idea (next to my schedule needs to be open to constant changes still).

 

I'm going to work on changing a habit though, by taking out "444 words" out and adding "No Screens when I get home and until I'm ready for the day the next day". This one is going to be hard, since I love my relax screen time, so I'm making it a double pointer by giving myself a point for no screens at night (the goal is to give a few hours where I can relax without screens so I go to bed earlier or at least rest more productively). And keep the screens off until I'm ready for my first thing of the day (I've been late for things just because I was doing nonsense).

 

With this goal I'm also adding a bonus for no facebook days! I get notifications on my phone so I know if someone is trying to contact me (and can use messenger on both my phone and tablet to stay in contact with people that mainly keep in touch through facebook). But so much time has been wasted on facebook scrolling, and one too many things being a trigger on top of it. I'm taking another thing away from myself, but pretty much hoping to trade my scrolling with nerdfitness (or my sims site) since they are 10x more positive then facebook is on a good day.

 

 

 

 A little help on snack ideas that don't need a cooler. I've been eating whole apples, jerky, prunes, protein bars and cheese. As my easy go tos, however gets quickly "tiring" and some days not enough food... Getting an idea I may need to add more to my food budget, but got any ideas with minimal steps, lack of fridge and tastes interesting. I've tried nuts in the past but they are more irritating to me along with trail mix then actually filling. My protein bars are peanut butter chocolate so I'm more likely to eat it, but not a lot of flavor options that I actually like.

My snacks are my main meals until I get home at night (breakfast I've been good at lately, but even my busier/bad days are questionable). Just wondering if anyone has any good ideas.

[Loveable_Bouncer]

Also today is not the best for food money wise...

 

As I said I need more food earlier, I ended up having a day where the world told me "you can't control stuff". My lunch hour ended up being wide open after I found out things weren't working out, and for the first time in a long time I was craving Chipotle (there is one rather close to campus). It was a craving for the first time since I got up that wasn't sugary, and I figured it would help get me through classes. A high fiber, high protein meal I probably more than need it.

Perk of me watching money rewards, I skipped a pop since I figured I didn't want to waste $2 and unneeded sugar to my mood.... 

So it could be worst.

 

 

I turned in my second paper on time this semester. I didn't hit my goal of working with a writing tutor (the tutor canceled due to illness), which had me bummed. But I had at least figured out where the writing tutor center is, and a good piece of knowledge to get into a tutor a few days before the paper is due (lesson learned). Compared to last semester this is going REALLY well, I'm working through my anxiety, didn't write the paper last minute. And was actually somewhat satisfied with my results.

I'm going to celebrate and go crash with one of those Cocoa Teas to help me home...

 

Will update the first post tomorrow after I get ready for the day.

[Loveable_Bouncer]

Huzzah I updated the first post! (I always forget...)

 

Didn't get Cocoa Tea due to forgetting my wallet was in my car (wasn't going to walk back... and realized it was a tad too warm for something warm). Instead, I went for a cinnamon roll when I picked up other things for my mother. 

I didn't go on screens last night and stayed off of them until I knew I could go to school with no problem! (If anything noticed more things I should be doing....) Proud of myself for being able to get through the tough thinking times (such as every interaction of people I like going through my head)

 

Had some minor extra stresses today with the van... Oh the van.... How I despise and still love you every day... It's turning on and moving. However, had me forgo hiking before class and ended up leaving me with a headache for rest of the day. 

 

Bright side today maybe the first day I don't buy anything! 

Was reminded how easy making sliced apples and peanut butter is (and how honey crisp apples are like candy with peanut butter). 

May try a vegetable with a cheese dip next week (like the happy cow cheese) to add extra flavor variety/nutrition. 

Still open to ideas!

 

 

Had some realizations on needing to rearrange somethings in my bullet journal. Things are falling through the cracks, I'm able to do school work, however, avoiding other things that need to be done. I figured out I need to keep "homework" and "everything else" in separate areas since I have the scheduled time when I can work on school stuff (no question to that). However, life stuff gets interesting. Sometimes I'm just avoiding an email, other times I'm realizing I've forgotten an entire plan I had. 

 

 

I made a planner section with rest of the dates of the year to help prevent me not seeing different appointment and events. And to organize my master list from everything one list to "I'm afraid of this shit for no reason other than because", "Just need to put time aside soon" and "I can do it, but needs to be broken down into duckling steps". 

 

 

Whelp I've been avoiding saying goodbye to the screens, now to get back home to continue on. 

 

[Loveable_Bouncer]

For my RPLS class today we had a staff panel to get the different views of the major and other advice. Ended up given an idea to look into backpacking foods (edible versions of course), but gave me the idea on where to look into for snacks (or at least add some needed variety so I have enough food, and don't run to convenient food). Idk was an epiphany that seemed a must hear after I heard it, will be interesting to see if I follow through with it. 

 

Another no screens followed through, and I think helped with sleep. Since I read instead of stare into a screen for the half hour to settle down (and don't think I had any time wasting to fall asleep). I've been rereading a manga series I have around and may have to save up for the next one (hoping that it gets completed so need to throw more money at the company that is nice enough to pubish the english version in the last year). 

 

 

Today went on Facebook to work on finding pictures for class... Oh the irony of the challenge. But found of course that facebook lags after scrolling your timeline after 3 years... Probably a good thing since I realized that was harder years, so need to save the pics else I won't need to get on facebook rest of the week. 

For the Facebook challenge I'm not counting when I have certain pages that send me notifications (smaller NF groups and some activity groups that share some info on there). Will work on turning off notifications of places I don't want to worry about. 

 

 

Figured out my headaches are coming from carrying my backpack. So need to really watch my posture (I have no idea why its getting heavier since I just cleaned it out on Tuesday... except I'm avoiding carrying any other bags lately). Bright side strengthening the right muscles if I keep my posture up (may look into other backpacks that are better for the body on extra weight wise... since the next few years it really isn't going to get lighter). 

 

[zeroh13]

2 hours ago, Bouncer the Resilient said:

Figured out my headaches are coming from carrying my backpack. So need to really watch my posture (I have no idea why its getting heavier since I just cleaned it out on Tuesday... except I'm avoiding carrying any other bags lately). Bright side strengthening the right muscles if I keep my posture up (may look into other backpacks that are better for the body on extra weight wise... since the next few years it really isn't going to get lighter). 

I can never figure out why my bag is so heavy. At some point I always get annoyed enough to just dump everything onto my bed and then figure out what I actually need to carry around. (It occurs to me, that my bag gets heavy cause I just toss stuff into it when I'm out and then forget about it.)

[Loveable_Bouncer]

2 minutes ago, zeroh13 said:

I can never figure out why my bag is so heavy. At some point I always get annoyed enough to just dump everything onto my bed and then figure out what I actually need to carry around. (It occurs to me, that my bag gets heavy cause I just toss stuff into it when I'm out and then forget about it.)

Hehe, I hope to come up with a conclusion. I think what gets to me was that I sorted out thoroughly on Tuesday and it felt like it gained another pound. I'm questioning if it's my back resisting the weight, by making it seem heavier. I'm keeping an eye on it. I know my snacks and extra stuff could be weighing it down... What I probably need to do is figure out how to weight it (wonder if the doctor wouldn't mind next week ... lol) Just to make sure it isn't more than 15% of my weight (advice on a backpacker site), so I know I'm not wrecking my back (especially since I could be easily walking a mile or more on campus with it on my back). 

 

Found out that I can drool over backpacks now, its kind of  cool that outdoor companies have their own school version of backpack. More expensive, but it would be nice to have some waterproofing... Will be looking around to find the best one and probably get it hopefully before any holes appear on my bag (at least the excuse I have in my head, will be using it as a reward cost unless a hole appears. Then might do 50/50 for Reward). 

[Murphy's Roommate]

If left unattended, I will fill a backpack.  To the extreme.   The more capacity it has, the more I'll put into it.  One of the reasons I prefer horrifically expensive, and overbuilt backpacks - Kifaru fits the need.  Still have all of them, and all of them have paid for themselves over the last decade plus.  Story for another day.

 

The hill people gear tarahumara pack is the best light weight pack I've run into.  The owners of hill people gear are big burly guys, but they really get the need to stay light and mobile.  The shoulder harness and weight distribution elicits commentary from everyone who wears it - mostly to the extent of "why doesn't everyone do it this way?"  It will quickly let you know if you are carrying too much, but if needed, you can badly overload it and it will not fail. 

 

When it comes to waterproofing, a visit to your local store and a box of contractor trash bags will fit the need.  Put it at the bottom of your bag, and if there is any risk of getting wet, you can either cut a few holes and use the bag as a poncho, or dump everything in your bag into it, and stuff that into your backpack.  The contractor bags are much sturdier than normal trashbags, and more versatile. 

 

If you need a regular bag that will never fail, Tom Binh is a maker of bags that won't fail.  I have one of his bags, and the material and stitching are rock solid.

 

 - Murphy's Roommate

[Loveable_Bouncer]

12 hours ago, Murphy's Roommate said:

f left unattended, I will fill a backpack.  To the extreme.   The more capacity it has, the more I'll put into it.  One of the reasons I prefer horrifically expensive, and overbuilt backpacks - Kifaru fits the need.  Still have all of them, and all of them have paid for themselves over the last decade plus.  Story for another day.

 

The hill people gear tarahumara pack is the best light weight pack I've run into.  The owners of hill people gear are big burly guys, but they really get the need to stay light and mobile.  The shoulder harness and weight distribution elicits commentary from everyone who wears it - mostly to the extent of "why doesn't everyone do it this way?"  It will quickly let you know if you are carrying too much, but if needed, you can badly overload it and it will not fail. 

 

12 hours ago, Murphy's Roommate said:

If you need a regular bag that will never fail, Tom Binh is a maker of bags that won't fail.  I have one of his bags, and the material and stitching are rock solid.

Ooh thank you! I would have never looked at either of the brand unless directed.

Definitely has me seeing my options and good investments, especially with my plans of adventures and the unknown of what of type of jobs I may have in the next few years (no less decade). Next to it would be nice to be more versatile... Oh the daydreaming I will have now... 

 

12 hours ago, Murphy's Roommate said:

When it comes to waterproofing, a visit to your local store and a box of contractor trash bags will fit the need.  Put it at the bottom of your bag, and if there is any risk of getting wet, you can either cut a few holes and use the bag as a poncho, or dump everything in your bag into it, and stuff that into your backpack.  The contractor bags are much sturdier than normal trashbags, and more versatile. 

Of course! Duh, for how many times I've been drenched in the last month from just doing normal errands (four times....) It's an easy way to keep at least my stuff protected (because damn water is the one thing that can wreck about anything in my backpack). Nice thing is I know my mother has contractor bags around for her own needs so I can skip a step for now... 

 

 

[Loveable_Bouncer]

Happy Autumn Equinox! 

(The most mouthful celebration I could come up with). 

 

Spiritual Paragraph:

In my base or respawn I had said I had found a bit of spirituality this last July. Enough where I found some needed inner connection and peace. I had started celebrating the Wheel of the Year holidays recently, Lammas was my first which was something special to help get me outside and find that needed enjoyment of cooking that I had lost. 

I found it funny on Monday when I realized I would mainly be going to the PowWow for the celebration, next to small things around me that are part of daily practices have been making this day special. Just wanted to share the energy that helped me get out of bed this morning. I ended up accidentally watching the sunrise on my way to work this morning, and realized at noon I'm riding the waves of the holiday for myself. 

 

 

 

Anyways, its really humid and hot here in Minnesota... At least there's a wind, but gives me an excuse to stay at the library longer to work on homework (now to actually get my attention back to homework....). 

 

I'm already seeing a benefit to my no screen time! Where I would usually wake up late on a Friday and barely get to work on time (if on time), I was able to shower, make breakfast, and take my time until I was out the door early (wasn't sure how the traffic or weather would be, so figured better safe than sorry). I was the first one at work! And was productive! 

And still am going a bit! Now to finish this homework, and a long errand tonight and then I can enjoy my Saturday!

 

Changing up my reward system slightly. For my monthly social goal I'm giving myself an allowance of $20 (if I don't use it all at one place, I'm going to have that money rollover into the next month outing). But I must give myself some goals for the outing, such as tomorrow my goal is to be at the PowWow for at least an hour and smile (the smiling part is terrifying if I'm by myself). I found out this last week that it will be a large fair, with a cheap entry fee (if I like it this year, I may try to volunteer next year if I'm free). 

 

Whelp back to the grind! 

 

 

[Loveable_Bouncer]

I had a really long post I've been working on, but I did two things I'm proud of. I got to see the benefit of working on my homwork five days a week, and face a social fear (along with other fears I'm dealing with that I just viewed as stupid anxiety). The PowWow was interesting, and had given me a different view on self-evaluation. How much I've grown in the last few months, and a few more things I'm mourning over/processing to move on soon but take what I learn.

 

I got seen in a new place, and got a taste of different atmosphere while being in the lovely nature heat for a few hours (and had stayed hydrated during it along with sunblock). Have to keep telling myself sometimes, its something I had to do to help grow and a piece of bigger picture I didn't quite understand.

 

If anything it was an event that reminded me things aren't always going to be AWESOME, but I would sum up those few hours as good. Which with my only presentation due on Tuesday for Rec & Park has me answering questions what leisure or recreation is to me. What i find it to be happy. A lot of my end answer is, "I'm stlill learning the real happy me, but I know what makes the days easier and more interesting. I know this helped".

 

Bad part of my outing:

I'm having new interesting times with my family van..... Just another reminder on why I'm doing my new money ways. But I'm able to deal with and planning to get up early tomorrow to help get the van ready before work and to show up on work on time. Along with adding in steps so I can go grocery shopping.

 

 

Anyone here also watch Transparent? The show itself always intrigued me, but I realized while watching the last episode on the brand new season that I enjoyed watching the growth on how all the characters are trying to identify themselves. And so much more. Kind of like I was heavily annoyed by everything on the third season, but had to watch the fourth season just because (and it was worth it to the point I want to rewatch all the seasons just to resee how they grew from their horrible messes they made).

[Loveable_Bouncer]

Update with car problems.... My car is unable to go reverse right now (I can turn it on, supposedly tell it to move reverse, hit gas and go neutral with a weird thump noise either from hitting the curve in the parking lot or something is broken.)

Have to call in work and tell them I can't show up. I probably need to rest, but this is the second month in a row where I can't get to work because of the van... It's not the job I care for, but it has me worrying about school and how can I change it to the near future.

 

Part of me is on freak out mode... But it's something telling me I need to figure out how to move into the city I go into, not just because it would be easier. But because I'm unable to keep fixing a car... No less earn enough to take care of myself while finishing school. Kind of looking into the universe for signs but I know I'm too stuck in my head right now. Waiting to call in work... Then I'll have to figure out what to do next.

 

 

The twist of me having to stick to my discipline.

Will write a end of a week post later today.... 

[zeroh13]

1 hour ago, Bouncer the Resilient said:

Update with car problems.... My car is unable to go reverse right now (I can turn it on, supposedly tell it to move reverse, hit gas and go neutral with a weird thump noise either from hitting the curve in the parking lot or something is broken.)

Have to call in work and tell them I can't show up. I probably need to rest, but this is the second month in a row where I can't get to work because of the van... It's not the job I care for, but it has me worrying about school and how can I change it to the near future.

 

Part of me is on freak out mode... But it's something telling me I need to figure out how to move into the city I go into, not just because it would be easier. But because I'm unable to keep fixing a car... No less earn enough to take care of myself while finishing school. Kind of looking into the universe for signs but I know I'm too stuck in my head right now. Waiting to call in work... Then I'll have to figure out what to do next.

 

 

The twist of me having to stick to my discipline.

Will write a end of a week post later today.... 

Maybe one thing you could do is figure out how much money the car is sucking up, and compare that to how much it would cost to move closer. Since you're a student, you might also be able to get some help finding an affordable place, or at least some information. Like, it may or may not be feasible to move now, but you can still work on figuring out what steps you would have to take if you decide to move.

[Loveable_Bouncer]

2 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

Maybe one thing you could do is figure out how much money the car is sucking up, and compare that to how much it would cost to move closer. Since you're a student, you might also be able to get some help finding an affordable place, or at least some information. Like, it may or may not be feasible to move now, but you can still work on figuring out what steps you would have to take if you decide to move.

Pretty much when you said it, right now the best option would be to move to the city. Since with the amount of stress and repairs, moving would be the best option.

 

So the plan? Mainly taking the steps to move before the winter comes in. With my luck, a lot of life stuff is going to start picking up (so many pretty things I've been signing up are going to come up), but after feeling the optimism of last week I think I can breathe through it. One day at a time. Good part I have a month of school under my belt (and I saw how much time I need to put into it already.

 

Goals until my mom comes home after her weekend gone: (mainly needing some grounding since I'm in full fight or flight mode, and I have already taken a nap since my last post):

-Work on cleaning and start the packing process (I have a lot of things that can easily be packed up, or finally thinned down).

-Post weekly update

-Start practicing presentation for Tuesday (luckily there are ways for me to get to the city during the week and bus to my brother's by Tuesday, and get to class that week).

-Start up new week in bullet journal

-do that one thing I've been forgetting about

 

Bonus goal: (will give myself a $1 if I stay off Facebook for rest of the day)

Stay off Facebook for rest of the day (I've been falling on my old habit of scrolling for hours to escape... I have no idea why it became so soothing).

 

[zeroh13]

4 minutes ago, Bouncer the Resilient said:

Stay off Facebook for rest of the day (I've been falling on my old habit of scrolling for hours to escape... I have no idea why it became so soothing).

Yeah, I'm pretty sure someone designed it to be an addictive time sink.

[Loveable_Bouncer]

36 minutes ago, zeroh13 said:

Yeah, I'm pretty sure someone designed it to be an addictive time sink.

The sad part if how many times I accidentally opened facebook with only three keystrokes.... Restarted this goal for the sixth time already.

[Loveable_Bouncer]

Today's goals:

-Work on cleaning and start the packing process (I have a lot of things that can easily be packed up, or finally thinned down).

-Post weekly update

-Start practicing presentation for Tuesday (luckily there are ways for me to get to the city during the week and bus to my brother's by Tuesday, and get to class that week).

-Start up new week in bullet journal

-do that one thing I've been forgetting about

 

Bonus goal: (will give myself a $1 if I stay off Facebook for rest of the day)

Stay off Facebook for rest of the day

 

-----

Looking over the weak, it was an amazing first week. All these goals are still being trained, but the motivation is still there. On the weekend I of course fall out of my habit, so I need to figure out a way to add structure to my weekends without feeling like I can't rest... But as the new week gave me a surprise I'm more than ready, I know I'll be able to take it on and knowing that in the end it is going to be worth the extra work pretty quick.

 

I did enjoy the structure, and was surprised on how the evening and morning screen off time seemed to allow me to enjoy my time more. It didn't go as quickly. I was able to enjoy smelling the flowers and still show up every where more than ready to go.

Working on figuring out new goals for cleaning and packing, and  I think I will have to reward myself for every hour of work. However, have a rule if I need to do homework for that to be first.

[Loveable_Bouncer]

Sunday's Goals:

-Work on cleaning and start the packing process (I have a lot of things that can easily be packed up, or finally thinned down).(Got a really good start, all the dishes finally cleaned)

-Post weekly update (Easiest thing to get done)

-Start practicing presentation for Tuesday(Ugh avoided...)

-Start up new week in bullet journal (didn't get to)

-do that one thing I've been forgetting about (So glad I was able to get this done)

 

-------

Out of all things I avoided was my presentation it makes me giggle a little....

A lot of the good habits I had been able to get to last week are falling through. However, I can name it all and know how to jump back on the wagon with ease. That is the good part. 

 

Shitty news- The van is pretty much on its deathbed.... The price of having to fix it would cost nearly a new car.... So the choice of moving is now a requirement next to stick to school and work.... 

Luckily with my emergency funds and my mom's friend, I will be able to figure out reliable driving for the next month (hopefully). 

My brother directed my mom and me to an apartment he wanted to move to if he didn't sign his lease already for the year, it looks really good for the price and rated well online. Hopefully, they have an opening and we can get in there (please share the good vibes- especially since it's right by a nature area). 

 

Tha bad part with the car problem is some really bad family stuff will have to get involved to get rid of it.... The family I haven't seen for nearly 2 years, or at least kept my distance from them since 2015. A whole other stress which my mother is being served by the universe that she had been avoiding. 

 

Bad news also of moving is that I'm having to leave my Museum Job since I won't have a car after October. Hopefully, the universe will have something interesting to replace.  As I've been reading Steve's old articles "believe in things happen for a reason". This just has me wanting to write a story for my alter ego, to help make these challenges more fun. 

 

 

 

The one goal I have stuck to since car problems! Is not buying convenient food. Partly because I was too tired (or it started to storm) to walk to a store in my town. Today I said I could enjoy whatever my brother's birthday dinner guilt-free (and helped take care of my budget if I was mindful throughout the day). Which is pretty good because all I want to do is escape. While also showing up to 2 appointments and class on time, even with my depression coming up a bit. 

 

Except first I have a presentation to finish for tomorrow! Then cake!

 

[zeroh13]

1 hour ago, Bouncer the Resilient said:

Hopefully, they have an opening and we can get in there (please share the good vibes- especially since it's right by a nature area). 

*Fingers crossed!!!*