Don't Starve, Yasha

[Yasha92]

Hi guys. Yasha back again. Starting with the heavy stuff, so skip on by if you don't have the spoons for that xXx.

 

I've really been struggling these last couple weeks (hence the drop-off from my last challenge) Mr's medication for his depression/anxiety stopped working quite suddenly and his unwellness really shook me. I ended up taking a couple days off work to be home and keep an eye on him (the step just before suicide watch). I managed to encourage him to get to a doctor to get the green light on doubling his meds, set up an appointment with the psychologist and just generally supported as best I could. Basically we're on the right road, but it's really rocky right now.

 

I had a lot of stuff go down at work as well, another full timer has resigned to take a position elsewhere, and two of my reliable casuals as well. On top of that we had a student and a member of the extended community complete suicide within two weeks and we have been dealing with the backlash of that at the center as we process all the leave/extension applications for the whole university. Being that this was an issue so close to home at the moment it really shook me. As part of my coping I have been playing a fair amount of the videogame "Don't Starve". It is really resonating with me at the moment, and so I have decide that this challenge I am having a theme, and the theme is drawn from the game. In this game there are three main trackers to keep an eye on: Stomach, Brain, Heart (Hunger, Sanity, Health).

 

 

Stomach: In don't starve the stomach bar is slowly but constantly depleting, and daily work is required to keep it full and the avatar satisfied.
- My Fitness Pal, daily. I am trying out a nutritionist (free as they are a nutrition student and need peeps to use in future assessment tasks). For week 1 I will be simply tracking and reporting back. We'll see how the goal changes week-to-week from there.
- Drink 2L Water, daily. I want to drink minimum two of my 1L drink bottle per day.
- Dry challenge (what? Yasha I thought you said you wanted to drink more?!). No alcohol for the period of the challenge. This morning I drank a rum and lemonade at 9am. This is not who I am nor who I want to be. Alcohol doesn't play nice with Mr's medication at the moment either, so it will be good to support him in not drinking at the moment.

 

...couldn't find a picture just of the healthy brain, but it illustrates my point nicely...

 

Brain: This is the sanity tracker in Don't Starve. Lots of things can affect sanity loss, similarly to how lots of things in life are stressful which will try to drain my mental resources.
- 10min mindfulness, daily. This can take the form of colouring (as it did today), walking in the botanic garden making flower hats, doing a quick yoga video, basically making sure to fill up my mental meter before trying to give. As a full time carer it can be really difficult to remember to put myself first, but I've had a wobbly few weeks and need to hone in on that to keep it from becoming a real problem.
- Daily affirmation. Initially I had 'morning affirmation', but that sets me up to fail if I forget in the morning with no way to redeem myself. I will recite my three lines each day at least once.
- Save $40 this challenge towards new computer. My current laptop was only ever meant to take notes in class. It's dying and while it gets the bare minimum done it is frustrating to use, I waste time and mental energy waiting for it to complete simple tasks. I will dedicate $20 per paycheck towards getting a new computer.

 

 

Heart: The health meter.
- Krav Magar 1/week
- Gym 1/week
- Brush teeth, daily.

 

That's it! hoping keeping it super simple will get me back on track (or at least as on track as I can be).

[Sloth the Enduring]

I'm sorry things are so tough right now. I hope they get better.


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[Tanktimus the Encourager]

What Sloth Said. We are here for you.

[jonfirestar]

Sorry to hear things are so rough.  I hope the turn for the good soon. 

[Emerald Eagle]

Sounds like you've done an amazing job being there for Mr when he needed you. Looking forward to seeing you keeping those health bars nice and full

[Yasha92]

I'm sorry things are so tough right now. I hope they get better.

Cheers for that Sloth, I’m tentatively hopeful that a meds adjustment and some talk therapy will really help. Mostly he needs to get out of his toxic workplace and so I reached out to some contacts that I have in my extended work community in case something comes up (and I am painfully aware that I’ve just lost three full time staff, but it would be a massive conflict of interest for him to come and work for my team so that’s a no-go).

What Sloth Said. We are here for you.

Thanks Tank. I realised yesterday when I was feeling super alone that I hadn’t been updating my challenge and that I was missing all my nerd buds. It’s good to be back on the forums even if it means baring a bit of my not-okayness.

Sorry to hear things are so rough. [emoji20] I hope the turn for the good soon. 

Thank Jon, me too. Here’s hoping!

Sounds like you've done an amazing job being there for Mr when he needed you. Looking forward to seeing you keeping those health bars nice and full [emoji4]

Thanks Em, and yay on your whole30! I’m making an effort to really look after myself this time because the last time there was a swing like this (they tend to come around every 2-4 years from what I can tell) I put myself last for so long that I stacked on weight, was extremely unhappy and basically burnt myself out so hard I was falling asleep on the floor of the University classroom where we used to play DnD. Not interested in a repeat of that particular timeline.

Sunday:
So far, so good. Having small goals that don’t take much to get done was a good idea at least for today. I was able to get all the ‘daily’ tasks done without too much stress. Considering taking tomorrow morning off to drop Mr off to the psyc and let the firemen in to check our fireproof door. (/fun/ story- I got a weirdly worded message from the psyc on Friday saying to come in ‘tomorrow’ at 19- when I messaged back to clarify what time 19 was she said Saturday at 10. So we turned up on Saturday at five to ten and found someone else in the waiting room, who said she also had an appointment at ten... turns out that this other patient had the same name as the psyc, so when the psyc texted me thinking I was that client she said “hi -client’s name, how about this time...” and I read it “hi [its] psyc’s name, how about this time...”. Thank goodness I went with Mr that time and was able to figure out what the confusion was, because otherwise that would have wrecked him, to turn up and be told his appointment was on Monday instead... now I’m a tad paranoid about sending him alone). I’ll see how I (and he) feel in the morning and decide.

Stomach~
MFP: tracked
Water: drunk
Alcohol: not drunk
Brain~
Mindful 10mins: colouring with background music
Affirmation: yes
Heart~
Teeth: yes

[Yasha92]

Monday~ so far so good. I called work in first thing in the morning so I could take Mr to his appointment and let the fireman in to check our smoke detector and the fireproof door on our apartment. This time the psychologist knew we were coming, and she apologised for last times’s mix-up, so that was a relief. Mr said it went well, so that’s also a relief. I stayed in the waiting room while he was having his appointment (I walked to a nearby corner store and bought a bottle of water and then came back and waited actually, I didn’t want to miss out on my water goal because I forgot to pack my water bottle), in the waiting room they had a colouring book, so I used that for my 10mins of self care. After we had done that we visited the electronics store so I could see what gaming laptops they have (I need to be portable with my computer, otherwise I’d get a desktop), they had a couple which I was pondering, but ultimately decided I don’t want to jump right in, I want to make sure Mr has a different job first to be sure we can afford it. Otherwise a relatively uneventful day, best lady came over in the evening and hung out for a bit. We haven’t had a DnD game for a while since Mr hasn’t been feeling up to running it (which is fair) so there was an open offer for people to come and hang out but there wouldn’t be a game. Only best lady turned up so we ended up ordering in burgers and watching some of a movie (Dr Strange I think) and just hanging out. I’ve retired to bed early because I’m super tired.

Stomach~
MFP: yep. Went waaay over the estimated calories, but seeing as this is meant to just be the tracking baseline I’m not super cut up about that. Baby steps. I also filled in a survey for the nutritionist on what foods I suspect upset my digestion.
Drink water: yes, drank 3+ bottles today because I’m donating blood tomorrow.
Don’t drink not water: succeeded.

Brain~
10mins mindfulness: coloured in cats at the drs office
Affirmation: completed

Heart~
Brush teeth: yes
Save $20: set it aside.

[Wild Wolf]

On 10/21/2017 at 5:58 AM, Yasha92 said:

and just generally supported as best I could. Basically we're on the right road, but it's really rocky right now.

 

That's all you can do in tough times like this. Being there in all sorts of ways will go a long way to helping Mr. get back on track and help YOU guys get back on track. Being the prayer warrior I am, I like to include my friends, family and loved ones in my prayers and will add you and Mr. to them. Also, just sending good vibes in general.

 

On 10/22/2017 at 7:10 AM, Yasha92 said:

Having small goals that don’t take much to get done was a good idea at least for today

 

It's always a good idea to have those sustainable yet smaller goals to keep you afloat  I like the challenge set up on "Don't Starve" and the coloring pics are fun! That maze one is really cool-show us a pic when that one is finished if you don't mind?? BTW, I still owe you toe pics lol 

 

 

BTW, this gif is from my all time favorite romcom movie, The Cutting Edge. It's an older movie but absolutely awesome!

 

Wolf

[Yasha92]

 
It's always a good idea to have those sustainable yet smaller goals to keep you afloat [emoji4] I like the challenge set up on "Don't Starve" and the coloring pics are fun! That maze one is really cool-show us a pic when that one is finished if you don't mind?? BTW, I still owe you toe pics lol 
 

 
BTW, this gif is from my all time favorite romcom movie, The Cutting Edge. It's an older movie but absolutely awesome!
 
Wolf

I appreciate the thoughts and prayers I’m sure the receiver of them knows who you mean, but in case real names flow better I’ve friended you on BookFace and you can poach them from there.

I love the pictures in the maze book (secret garden), it has heaps of tiny details of leaves and flowers and it really helps switch my brain off while I’m doing it, I’ve packed it to do some more today in my work break~

Toe pic!

I dug around some old photos for a truely nerd fitness representation of my toes



I will also check and see if this movie is on Aussie Netflix

[Yasha92]

Tuesday~ so far so good. When I arrived at work I had 87unread emails just for me (I remember why I never take time off now), I cancelled all the one on one meetings with the fulltimers to plough through the emails, had a bunch of meetings and basically got a bunch of shit done. I had an energy drink at morning tea (remember that it comes later) and was able to get through most of the emails, auctioning things etc. In the afternoon I took a late lunch break and went to donate blood on campus. All was going well, I’d updated my name on their system, I was all tubed up and donating when I noticed I was filling my bag really fast (for me), I figured it must have been a combo of really hydrated (hello water goal) and the energy drink making my heart pump faster and get the blood in the bag all speedylike... as the bag hit full I suddenly felt very sick- the lady who was taking out the needle saw that I went grey and she laid the seat back to get the blood back in my head... due to that little performance I had to stay an extra half hour while they kept an eye on me oops! Moral of the story: no energy drinks on blood donation days! Otherwise that day was fine, went to the Boomerang Bags sew-in and then came home and played a little don’t starve, just waiting for Mr to get home then headed to bed.

Stomach~
MFP: semi tracked? I didn’t track all the chips and juice they gave me at the donation station to get some colour back in my cheeks...
Drink water: heaps in the lead up to donation, plus a bunch of juice while I was there
Not drink alcohol: success

Brain~
Affirmation: yes
10min mindfulness. I did my 10 of colouring under a tree after a short walk.

Heart~
Teeth: brushed
Save: money set aside in a safe place




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[jonfirestar]

2 hours ago, Yasha92 said:

When I arrived at work I had 87unread emails just for me

Only 87! If I take time off there can be thousands of emails sat in my inbox when I get back. That's not including the thousands I filter out. Most of it is junk though and I just skim and delete.

[Salinger]

Hey Yasha, hope you are well today. Your colouring is amazing, really lovely. Not sure i would be able to stay in the lines! 

 

I hope your Mr is doing better, and thank you for being there for him. My ex partner was pretty awful when i was suicidal, in fact, she pushed me to the edge a few times with countless selfish things. (i wont get into that!) 

 

Anyway, he is lucky to have you, really. And its important you look after your own mental health too. So use us to lean on if you need it!

 

Will be following along and hoping the rocky road straightens out soon xx

[Yasha92]

Only 87! If I take time off there can be thousands of emails sat in my inbox when I get back. That's not including the thousands I filter out. Most of it is junk though and I just skim and delete.

D: thousands?!

Is it always the same junk mail? Or always new? I can’t imagine how much time would be wasted sifting through that much junk!

Funny junk mail story: when I was a fulltimer I was on email shift and working through the main email inbox, deleting junk and answering questions etc- one junk mail was a proposition from a lonely Russian woman looking for a husband (spaaam), closing line “please find attached nudes for your consideration”. I didn’t open the attachment, but it was a long running joke with the fulltimers ‘please find attached nudes’.

Hey Yasha, hope you are well today. Your colouring is amazing, really lovely. Not sure i would be able to stay in the lines! 
 
I hope your Mr is doing better, and thank you for being there for him. My ex partner was pretty awful when i was suicidal, in fact, she pushed me to the edge a few times with countless selfish things. (i wont get into that!) 
 
Anyway, he is lucky to have you, really. And its important you look after your own mental health too. So use us to lean on if you need it!
 
Will be following along and hoping the rocky road straightens out soon xx

Good to see you Salinger

I do my best to be a good carer, the alternative is too terrible.

I definitely think being active on the forums, while sometimes tricky to open up, is good for my self care- checking in with cool people doing cool things

[Emerald Eagle]

10 hours ago, Yasha92 said:

 I was all tubed up and donating when I noticed I was filling my bag really fast (for me), I figured it must have been a combo of really hydrated (hello water goal) and the energy drink making my heart pump faster and get the blood in the bag all speedylike... as the bag hit full I suddenly felt very sick- the lady who was taking out the needle saw that I went grey and she laid the seat back to get the blood back in my head... due to that little performance I had to stay an extra half hour while they kept an eye on me oops! 
 

 

I've been donating blood for years but hubby never had, I finally convinced him to make an appointment with me last year and he had a very similar reaction. I haven't convinced him to come back yet  

[Salinger]

1 hour ago, Yasha92 said:

Good to see you Salinger

I do my best to be a good carer, the alternative is too terrible.

I definitely think being active on the forums, while sometimes tricky to open up, is good for my self care- checking in with cool people doing cool things

 

 

You do a great job, i wish i had someone like you!

 

Yes this place is good for me too. Always here for you xx

[Yasha92]

14 hours ago, EmeraldEagle said:

 

I've been donating blood for years but hubby never had, I finally convinced him to make an appointment with me last year and he had a very similar reaction. I haven't convinced him to come back yet  

 

I had a really bad experience my first ever time (needle went through the vein and out the other side of it and tore a little hole - I had a wicked bruise wrist to shoulder and the whole way round my arm for ages) took me a long time to screw up the courage to go again, but I like to do it when I can.

 

13 hours ago, Salinger said:

 

You do a great job, i wish i had someone like you!

 

Yes this place is good for me too. Always here for you xx

 

I had a moment of 'dunwanna' today, but thinking about reporting in a 'didn't' got me to do it and now I can come and say 'dun'. Good ol' forums.

[Yasha92]

Wednesday. So far so good~

 

Hmmmm... I can't imagine why this Don't Starve gif in particular spoke to me...

 

 

Today was an ok day, went to work and it kept me busy. I was feeling kinda average and I even messaged Mr and told him I was going to use my blood-donation excuse and not go to the gym for PT. Still, when it came to home time I put on my gym clothes and went to the gym. Even more impressive than that in my opinion is when I got there the PT had booked someone in my usual slot (we shuffled last week in an attempt to get Mr there, but didn't end up going so PT had moved this weeks to the same day because we didn't tell him not to, oops). Because I was there a few mins early for what would have been my slot he wrote me a quick workout plan on a paper and I went and did it all without supervision or gym buddy. There was one point where I was waiting for a light barbell to do overhead press that I almost quit halfway, but I persevered and Got. It. Dun. Afterwards I felt a bit woozy, but I bought a burrito and a coke and felt better after those. After that I came home and watched some tutorials on cell-shading makeup to try and get some skills for our halloween party on Saturday then had a bath for the self-care points.

 

Stomach~

MFP: semi tracked... I need to figure out how to download the week's report to send to the nutrition dude. It was a pretty awful week to be reporting on... I think I maybe averaged 1 freggie/day.
Drink water: smashed back 3 bottles
Not drink alcohol: success 

Brain~

Affirmation: yes
10min mindfulness: bubble bath.

Heart~

Teeth: brushed 
Save: money set aside in a safe place

Gym: dunwanna dun.

 

[RhiaWolfe]

Following for Don't Starve Madness!!!!  I love this game! 

 

 

 

[Yasha92]

I was going to post this pic in Sloth’s thread in a stoolie spoiler, then I was going to post it in Wolfie’s thread, because who else would get such a kick out of my loo roll’s branding. Then I realised I can post it here for all mah friends to appreciate! Behold! My delivery of toilet tissue has arrived and the jokes are the best-worst.

[Mr_Willes]

Hey T, the people who did the packaging must have seen your squatting videos!!!

 

 

Sorry to hear about your man. Real admiration to how you are handling it. Serious is not my best side, so i'll try to pop in with some funny stuff...

 

Hang in there!

 

[Salinger]

How are you and your man doing Yasha?Xx

[Yasha92]

Hey T, the people who did the packaging must have seen your squatting videos!!! [emoji3]
 

 
Sorry to hear about your man. Real admiration to how you are handling it. Serious is not my best side, so i'll try to pop in with some funny stuff...
 
Hang in there!
 

Squats, squat-squats squat-squats (to the tune of ‘shots’). Good to see you Willes! Funny stuff much appreciated

How are you and your man doing Yasha?Xx

Hey hey. He’s gone to a friends tonight for the guys game of DnD, that gave me free reign to go to Krav Magar, come home and try out some more cell shading makeup practice then head to bed when I felt like it (currently chilling in bed watching an epic thunderstorm roll over). We will persist!

[Yasha92]

Thursday~ so far so good. Had heaps of people call in sick for work today, including my boss, managed it as best we could. After work I went to Krav Magar. I felt pretty good this time, I was by far the worst at the warmup (still/again) and I was the second largest lady there, but I was able to get my head around the steps this time to successfully get out of a bear-hug grab... still feeling a welling up of emotions when the instructor tells us the ‘problem’ (eg- this person is trying to grab you and lift you off the ground to get you into their vehicle/ to hold you pinned until their friend attacks from behind etc) I have never (thank goodness) experienced anything like what they are describing, but the feeling I get is almost like a memory- pretty weird. I’m just being patient with myself and letting myself feel the feelings. Interestingly I am one of the best at vocalising- my buddy today was almost whispering her “get away, stay back”, whereas when I go for it I can hear it echo in the squash court next door (I wonder what the squash players think...). Mr went to a friends house to play DnD, so I filled his script at the chemist for this higher dose and picked up some vitamin D to supplement too. Otherwise relatively chill evening- I’m sore all over, I’m guessing a mix of gym yesterday, Krav today and having lowered overall hit point total due to blood donation (also the little hole where they drew from is really sore today and a little bruise popped up, I’m guessing the elbow-drives aggrevated it), Ive taken some magnesium and hopefully that will sort things out.

Stomach~
MFP: I really, really don’t want to track today... not sure what’s going on there... I’m not more ashamed of what I ate today than other days in the week, but I just haven’t added anything in there... I opened the app, but searching for what I wanted to input was just too hard.
Drink water: yes
Don’t drink alcohol: yes

Brain:
Mindful 10mins: no specific time set aside for it, did relaxing things, but not with purpose.
Affirmation: yes

Heart:
Teeth: yes
Gym: down for the week
Krav: done for the week
Save $20- still in savings.


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[RhiaWolfe]

Looks like you've got a solid start to this challenge! That mindful thing can be rather difficult as simple as it sounds. I actually have that as part of my challenge (kinda). It's one of those things you don't really think about regularly. lol. 

[Yasha92]

Friday~ a pretty good day. Smashed out a bunch of work, still not up to date but that’s ok. Mr was able to get himself to the gym with only minor prodding on my part (messaged him a couple times to remind him PT was booked and rang at the right time to wake him up). He went and did squats and smashed out a PB- 150kg back squat. I’m really pleased for him, that is exactly the type of win he needed on his first class back... speaking of backs his has some wicked bruising to show for it...


The bar mark is so much lower than I would have guessed... the fact that he was able to get there gives me hope that the medication is kicking in.

I watched some Stranger Things and painted some of Mr’s pants for tomorrow’s Halloween gig- we’re going as Snow and Bigby from The Wolf Among Us and the cell-shading makes for a cool but labour intensive costume.

MFP: No. careful Yasha, that’s almost two in a row.
Drink water: yes
Not drink booze: achieved

Mindful 10mins: painting pants
Affirmation: just now in bed

Teeth: no
Gym: done for the week
Krav: done for the week
Save $20: it’s still set aside but we’re waiting on a cheque to clear, so if that takes much longer we might need to use the cash.