Echocheanic's log

[Echoceanic]

17 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

I'm glad you did - NF is technically a fitness community, but part of fitness is tending to our emotional needs; and it sounds like you're in need of some support and people coming alongside you. You are more than welcome to get things off your chest whenever you like.

Thanks, it really did hep to hear all of that from someone else. She is mentally exhausted and pissed off to boot (all the good people that had the option to leave left, so only jackasses are left), I can see it. She sleeps more, forgets things, and is basically falling apart, but she is strong and resilient - I don't know how she does it, but she does it so I don't have to. She was a math teacher for hell's sake. She used to be really fit, like move a 7 foot solid wood wardrobe on her own, chop wood fit (she's also one of the reasons I have always wanted to be strong physically). But now we are in a tiny apartment and she has been at this place for 5 years. But I do know I ways I can help - lifting heavy things and doing some stuff she can't (even though I still suck at doing the dishes regularly).

And like both of the careers I am drawn to are super shitty for where I am - graphic design/typesetting and writing. So it's 'how fast will the store clerk's eyes glaze over when I mention I am fluent in English and freelance doing this?'. Usually pretty fast.

 

17 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

Can you remind me again where you live?

I don't think I've actually told you guys where I live. I usually don't think anyone will know where it is, so I don't bother. Balkan Peninsula, Europe. 

[Cataleya]

I know where that is! I've been there!

[fleaball]

1 hour ago, Echocheanic said:

And like both of the careers I am drawn to are super shitty for where I am - graphic design/typesetting and writing. So it's 'how fast will the store clerks eyes glaze over when I mention I am fluent in English and freelance doing this?'. Usually pretty fast.

So this may be potentially shitty advice, but what would happen if you stopped telling people that? I'm assuming you mean this happens in interviews? What if you just said "yeah I've done some freelance work, here's my portfolio" and left off how long you'd been doing it and how much English is involved? I don't mean lie about it, but just telling them enough to get the job and not so much that they'd think you're wildly overqualified and dismiss you right away? 

 

If I'm totally misinterpreting things here and/or this is awful advice, feel free to ignore me. Or yell at me.

[Mad Hatter]

9 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

you have to remember that it's not your responsibility to make your mom want to change

So much this. 

[Echoceanic]

10 hours ago, fleaball said:

So this may be potentially shitty advice, but what would happen if you stopped telling people that? I'm assuming you mean this happens in interviews? What if you just said "yeah I've done some freelance work, here's my portfolio" and left off how long you'd been doing it and how much English is involved? I don't mean lie about it, but just telling them enough to get the job and not so much that they'd think you're wildly overqualified and dismiss you right away? 

 

You're not misinterpreting!

The whole thing is that they want experience in sales, and this is the only sales experience I have but 'freelance' doesn't have a good reputation here. I used to not tell people I freelance/volunteer at a magazine, and I got the 'so you have no experience' look. Now I get the 'wrong experience' look (even though it made me feel comfortable communicating with people). I can't get experience if someone doesn't give me a job, for hell's sake. I might try your advice though and just say freelance next time and see what they do.

I've had some training for a dispatcher and a fast food worker but when it came to the first the other two quit and I was told that I have to work 7 days a week with no insurance, so I noped out, and the second one I got a creepy 'you don't have a boyfriend, it's okay we'll get you one' from the girl that trained me and I couldn't wait to run home.

 

10 hours ago, Cataleya said:

I know where that is! I've been there!

Yay! What country, if you don't mind me asking.

 

Today I got up late, but I didn't go to bed till the morning because I got stuck reading. This is exactly why I avoided fan fiction for so long, but dammit I got roped in.

[Cataleya]

Technically I crossed the border to a couple of countries, but I mostly stayed in Macedonia. Some of my best friends are from there, so we visited them a few years back.

 

 

[Echoceanic]

2 hours ago, Cataleya said:

Technically I crossed the border to a couple of countries, but I mostly stayed in Macedonia. Some of my best friends are from there, so we visited them a few years back.

 

And now you have another friend from there.  

[Cataleya]

Nice! I loved going there. Beautiful country.

[Echoceanic]

 

 

Well this week was a shitshow. My computer decided to fuck up its update and I had a meltdown, doubly because the last time I took the computer to a service they fucked it up. I was so scared I lost all my data (and the two books I have written).

I took a taxi to the place where I got the computer, and the warranty was expired, but the dude there told me where to take it. 

I not only met one of the very few kind schoolmates again, but I got my computer back in two days and with all my data back. I did spend two days sitting in the living room and feeling like ants crawled under my skin.

I didn't exercise, but I did get some suggestions for the back of my knees - thanks @Kestrel Grey, and @shaar for telling me I'm not alone  So I am calling it a win, I will add those in my routine for sure.

 

I think I need to get a PC, and a drive. It will be expensive, most of my savings, but it might help. We'll see. I'd want a job first honestly.

[Kestrel Grey]

2 hours ago, Echocheanic said:

 

 

Well this week was a shitshow. My computer decided to fuck up its update and I had a meltdown, doubly because the last time I took the computer to a service they fucked it up. I was so scared I lost all my data (and the two books I have written).

I took a taxi to the place where I got the computer, and the warranty was expired, but the dude there told me where to take it. 

I not only met one of the very few kind schoolmates again, but I got my computer back in two days and with all my data back. I did spend two days sitting in the living room and feeling like ants crawled under my skin.

I didn't exercise, but I did get some suggestions for the back of my knees - thanks @Kestrel Grey, and @shaar for telling me I'm not alone  So I am calling it a win, I will add those in my routine for sure.

 

I think I need to get a PC, and a drive. It will be expensive, most of my savings, but it might help. We'll see. I'd want a job first honestly.

Take the win where you can.

I used to think I was defective because I can't do a push-up or sit upright with straight legs.  After hanging around NerdFitness you see how diverse the starting points are (there is always someone working on the same problem).

[shaar]

Oh, friend, you are DEFINITELY not alone!  I feel like I'll be working on that knee issue for forever at this rate!!  We will figure it out!

 

( Also, glad to hear you didn't lose all your data!  PHEW; such a scare.....!! )

[Echoceanic]

2 hours ago, Kestrel Grey said:

I used to think I was defective because I can't do a push-up or sit upright with straight legs.  After hanging around NerdFitness you see how diverse the starting points are (there is always someone working on the same problem).

I didn't think I was defective, but I definitely thought that I was weaker than what I wanted to be - working on it now though  so I feel better, it's more than most people do.  And yes they day was ultimately a win. And hey I got an unplanned 2 day break.

 

51 minutes ago, shaar said:

( Also, glad to hear you didn't lose all your data!  PHEW; such a scare.....!! )

I partition my drive and keep all my data in one. Along with exe files of most programs I use. So yeah. If I manage to get a good computer I will also get a backup drive (since then I'll feel more confident trying new stuff with my programs) and wont  depend on the online storage I have right now.

I did once delete a folder that had every single thing I had on it. I had to run a recovery program and nearly hyperventilated and wanted to punch myself in the face really hard. 

[Echoceanic]

Hiii!

So today I walked a lot. I had so much to do and all was outside - I didn't finish everything but I did finish a great deal of it. I found out that people here still send resumes over mail even if the town is so small it would take you an hour to walk from end to end, and how hard is it to leave a phone number... 

 

 

Okay no need to rant yet again about this.   Anyway I did get the pain in the right shoulder - I feel like I was squeezing it a lot or something, but as soon as I got home it went away, I think because I stretched. I didn't do much else, but hey I was out for two hours.

[Echoceanic]

My mom is sick. I think she has a cold. The good thing is that she still has some vacation time from last year so she can take it and stay home for the rest of the week. I made lunch and ate like 90% of it alone, but she did at quite a bit.

I for the life of me can't open cans. I can open soda cans but not the other kind. I yank on them and no matter how much strength I use to open the thing. Weird. Now work, then phone call (I suck at them) and exercise - din't wind up doing this because I was busy all day.

 

Also, I think I'm scared to finish my book rewrite. When I do I have to send it to my editor and after editing I should be ready to publish it. I want this. I want to move on to the next book. So why am I procrastinating? No, bad brain!

[Echoceanic]

Since I technically finished my mini challenge (I'm counting week four as a loss, but I did get 4 out of 5), I have been thinking of a way to focus on things more. And I think I'd do well if I take the mini challenge setup and use it for me (I'll still do mini challenges because I like them, but the goals will be more refined). 

So starting next week, I'll be having theme weeks of sorts, where I tackle a thing and see if it's for me. Including things other than exercise too, though those goals will still be in the minority.

I feel like this is the best way to focus on more things without trying to do everything at once, because I will never be a person that wants to do just one thing. I know the first week will be yoga related, because I want to see what I can do with that. Plus I want to calm down, and that seems like a nice focus for the first week of this little experiment.

 

Rules:

- each week is a different focus, no same focus two weeks in a row, though they can be similar

- if you find that the focus is not something that is for you and you would rather not focus on it, you strike it out from the list; also applies to specific things in the week (how many times can I say focus?)

- if you fail the week but you like it, you repeat it fully and exactly after a week of doing something different.

- all things must be hit (though of course not working on everything at once, I am trying to avoid that) strength, endurance, flexibility, discipline, and mental improvement.

- if I have a month of successes I get myself a present and get to be smug for a while

- if I have a month of failures, I reevaluate and don't rage

- if you quit the thing in the middle of the week, you do at least one of these as a replacement: bodyweight circuit, push up practice, plank exercise circuit, days vary.

- trackers and general goals can be included in this, and are encouraged

 

Focus Week #1 - yoga and chilling out

- Do a yoga video three times this week or more. Update: Since you don't like yoga, you can try out different stretching. 

- Emotions are not for bottling up and holding onto them. Feel them, because feeling is healthy (numbness is not), but don't dwell on them and keep going. No focusing on an anger/panic/frustration source and letting it consume you. I have been doing this for a while now, but it will help to put it on the front of my mind.

- Since I have been getting to bed super late this week, next week I am going to try and go to bed on time every day that week.

 

I am tempted to add more goals, but nope, that is what gets me in trouble. Keeping things simple. Feel free to lob your opinions at me, that is why I'm posting this.

[Echoceanic]

I am so sore. I carried the water home (two bottles, so like 10 kilos total) instead of dragging it, so now my shoulders and the outside of my thighs hurt. I never get sore down my back, just above my shoulder blades, not sure if that is what is supposed to happen.

 

Focus week: I found a yoga video I am going to do, for the soreness on my shoulders today. I'm not going to follow any program like the 30 day thing because I am not committing to this but I will listen to my body and do whatever. Let's see if it works to ease some of the soreness.

I did manage to go to bed a half hour later than I needed to though.

 

Update: I did this one. It was fine and helped until the 11 minute mark, and then I couldn't handle it anymore. The poses didn't help much. I got the poses right from the first go, and didn't have any of the tightness she was warning against, but I went a bit faster than her (and always did them to the maximum stretch right away while she was easing into them) - that's my impatience showing. I can understand why people like the calming voice she uses but it doesn't calm me, in fact it does the opposite. I am usually pretty chill but this pulled out my inner 'yeah yeah just hurry it up already geesh I am here to stretch not listen to you yammer' grouch, and I could feel the annoyance and stress rising up and making me have to move and turn the video off or I would turn to anger. And while some stretches did help a bit, nothing really did much better than my usual fix, which is rolling my shoulders a lot and stretching my hands, pressing into the muscle with my fingers to force it to release - an old sports medicine trick I found out while googling. So this yoga video is a fail (and I am suddenly really glad I wasn't doing this with others). Gonna try and calm down now because wow did that not feel good. If I ever need to just be pissed off at the world I should do yoga. 

 

Life: I have so much typesetting to do, that is makes me want to curl up and not do anything, but I already did that this weekend so I can't do it now too. I volunteer for a magazine (everyone works for free so it's not that big of a deal, plus I get to practise) and the woman who started it doesn't take it seriously at all. I really just want to yell at her. I might just compose a short message with the polite version of 'get your act together woman'. The problem is every time someone does tell her she is being difficult she apologises and is really sad about it, and then she does the same thing. 

I called about another job and now I have another on the list of "we'll call you". because I hate waiting, but oh well. Not sitting still during it. I have like 5 or 7 jobs that are on that list. It will be hilarious if I get more than one.

[Jord]

20 hours ago, Echocheanic said:

Update: I did this one. It was fine and helped until the 11 minute mark, and then I couldn't handle it anymore. The poses didn't help much. I got the poses right from the first go, and didn't have any of the tightness she was warning against, but I went a bit faster than her (and always did them to the maximum stretch right away while she was easing into them) - that's my impatience showing. I can understand why people like the calming voice she uses but it doesn't calm me, in fact it does the opposite. I am usually pretty chill but this pulled out my inner 'yeah yeah just hurry it up already geesh I am here to stretch not listen to you yammer' grouch, and I could feel the annoyance and stress rising up and making me have to move and turn the video off or I would turn to anger. And while some stretches did help a bit, nothing really did much better than my usual fix, which is rolling my shoulders a lot and stretching my hands, pressing into the muscle with my fingers to force it to release - an old sports medicine trick I found out while googling. So this yoga video is a fail (and I am suddenly really glad I wasn't doing this with others). Gonna try and calm down now because wow did that not feel good. If I ever need to just be pissed off at the world I should do yoga. 

 

 

I think it's also about asking yourself why you want to do yoga. If it's to correct a problem you already know how to address (stretching your shoulders, etc) then it's not going to feel satisfying. If you want something faster pace I believe the vinyasa yoga is the faster yoga, she has a series of playlists that group yoga vids, and there is a playlist with all her vinyasa vids: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBPP_izKKSs&list=PLui6Eyny-UzzyYOtKfMfLl0h94mjsUKv9  If you look on the right side you'll see the list of videos.

 

Either that or maybe yoga isn't really what you are looking for? There are some other stretch based exercise types that are much less yoga-esque but the names are escaping me at the moment. One is pilates, another is PiYo (pilates/yoga blend), but there are some others my brain is drawing a blank. I have a DVD of another type at home. Not to mention all the types of stuff like Thai Chi and martial arts based movements. I think the thing is to identify your goal and then identify the type of fitness to reach that goal?

[Echoceanic]

3 hours ago, Taddea Zhaan said:

I think it's also about asking yourself why you want to do yoga. If it's to correct a problem you already know how to address (stretching your shoulders, etc) then it's not going to feel satisfying.

The stretching I do only partially helps my sore shoulders so I am trying to find a better way. I have always wanted to not only improve my flexibility but my focus as well, and I do need a way to calm down (but as you can see it's hard to find what works). I'll try that one actually, will see if it works. I definitely need something that is fast paced.

 

3 hours ago, Taddea Zhaan said:

Either that or maybe yoga isn't really what you are looking for? There are some other stretch based exercise types that are much less yoga-esque but the names are escaping me at the moment.

I've never even looked into Pilates because I apparently had the wrong idea about what it was. I thought it was more cardio esque, ball thing, than it apparently is.  But yeah if your suggestion doesn't work then yoga is surely not for me, and I'll try another type of stretching. 

[Mad Hatter]

22 hours ago, Echocheanic said:

I've never even looked into Pilates because I apparently had the wrong idea about what it was. I thought it was more cardio esque, ball thing, than it apparently is.  But yeah if your suggestion doesn't work then yoga is surely not for me, and I'll try another type of stretching. 

Pilates has a lot less stretching elements than yoga, it's more a postural correction ab intensive activity. It could still help as it could potentially address instabilities and strength deficiences that cause tightness  - but if it's stretching you need maybe you should just stretch?  And maybe for the other calming down stuff you need a different activity, maybe walking or something super high intensity? I don't really enjoy yoga either, I find it mostly boring, unless it gets into contorty or armbalancy stuff and then I might as well just do circus. Which I do.  

[Echoceanic]

1 hour ago, Mad Hatter said:

 And maybe for the other calming down stuff you need a different activity, maybe walking or something super high intensity?

General cardio and strength exercises do help me relax. I find I need something that makes me focus enough for me to stop thinking and slow, non-intense things don't do that. But I can't do high intensity as often as I'd like. 

Your pilates description actually sounds like something I'd like to do. I never thought I'd have any ab strength but now I do (though a little) and I spend a lot of time sitting down which affects my posture a lot. I can't do contorty or armbalancy stuff yet, though I'd find that fun - hell I find planks and anything hard fun. 

 

 

Yesterday I was late turning off the computer but I did went to bed early. Didn't wake up early though. But hey it's only two days in I still have time to do it. 

[Mad Hatter]

1 hour ago, Echocheanic said:

General cardio and strength exercises do help me relax. I find I need something that makes me focus enough for me to stop thinking and slow, non-intense things don't do that.

I’m exactly the same. Except for cardio that’s just awful.  

 

Pilates really helped my mum with gaining basic strength and with random aches and pains that came with her job, so definitely give it a try and see if you like it!

[Echoceanic]

6 minutes ago, Mad Hatter said:

Pilates really helped my mum with gaining basic strength and with random aches and pains that came with her job, so definitely give it a try and see if you like it!

That sounds awesome. I'll surely look into Pilates videos that I can check out. I don't like general cardio either, I feel like I'm being watched when I do it, but I like circuit training, and that gives you cardio but i haven't done it in a while. When I do it too often it can get boring. When I do anything often enough it gets boring.

 

I tried the vinyasa  thing today and I am not nearly flexible enough for that or have enough patience for it.  

[Echoceanic]

Sooo....

 

Instead of doing the yoga week, this has been a writing week. I might have a small novella done in a few days.

[Jord]

I remembered another thing that is like yoga but is not yoga - Feldenkrais.

[Echoceanic]

22 hours ago, Taddea Zhaan said:

I remembered another thing that is like yoga but is not yoga - Feldenkrais.

Oooh, googling!

 

After a really weird blur week, this day started excellent with a lot of things going on. I like when things happen, it's much easier to move. You know the old about objects in motion stay in motion.

 

I am doing wood choppers with no weight (because I haven't done them before) and they are fun. I have forgotten how good it is to do new stuff and feel sore and winded after. I am also doing elevated push ups again, I have lost a bit of strength. But that happens when you take a long break.

I need to learn how to push through blah weeks, I know I get them every month (guess why why don't you) and I slow down every time, but I know that I'd feel better if I didn't.