Second Respawn

[Lincoln_R1]

Lincoln's Log

Stardate [-4]94845.5

 

Well, I'm back. I decided to start here at the respawn point since I've been gone so long. These last few weeks have been very hard for me. My depression is coming back, due in part I think to the coming holidays (So it begins...), but also because of a couple of hiccups I've had in my personal life. Part of me thinks they aren't relevant to fitness, but they are hindering my ability to function, and that makes them relevant. Short version is this: I'm caught in a negative feedback loop of thinking "nothing ever works out" (which is a blatant lie though try telling the little twerp in my brain that). My 75 gallon aquarium didn't work out, so I had to deconstruct it (which ended up being for the better, so if there are any saltwater enthusiasts out there, let's talk! I need advice), I ended up not getting a job I really wanted (my brother got it, and I feel bad for feeling jealous), and I've started going back to Kung Fu but my social anxiety is preventing me form staying for the whole time (I'm very out of practice, and I'm a brown belt, so I feel like I'm expected to perform at a higher level). So yeah, that's why I've been out for a while.

 

I'm starting to TRY to get out of this hole. I've started preparing all of my meals for the week (turkey and salmon burgers FTW), and I'm drinking a gallon of water every day. I'm also going to Kung Fu twice a week, and I'm planning on starting to do some Yoga in the mornings (next paycheck will be for the NF Yoga download thing). I also plan on starting to do strength training twice a week, though it would help if I could find people to work out with (I'm friends with three bodybuilders, just getting the courage to ask for their help is tough. That's how bad my self esteem has gotten).

 

Anyway, that's my respawn report. 

 

Thank's for reading 

End of Log

[LucentFrost]

Welcome back