Heidi: Hurrah!

[Heidi]

Vivian and I went to meeting for worship this morning and it was delightful.

Harvey has started the six-possibly-seven-days-a-week work schedule that is the holiday warehouse routine. Given that I'm on fumes in my bank account, we aren't feeling anything but grateful about the extra hours.

 

Bonus: One of the friends at the meeting house gave us tickets to next weekend's NAACP luncheon, which we are very much looking forward to attending. I'm going for certain; Harvey will be there if he isn't working. This gift leaves me feeling really supported and loved and welcomed.

 

Also, here are some more delightful pics of us out and about last week and over the holiday, as well as at home playing cards. She is wicked good.

 

 

 

[DarK_RaideR]

Pictures of you and Viv together are always lovely, but I especially like the one where you're both posing in your coats.

[Heidi]

18 hours ago, DarK_RaideR said:

Pictures of you and Viv together are always lovely, but I especially like the one where you're both posing in your coats.

That coat required a pose.

 

[Heidi]

Knitting project update:

 

The Parisian Poorboy dress is coming along nicely. Earlier in the month I had it about two-thirds done, and it looked exactly as I wanted it too, if I were four feet tall. I decided the grey section should be much more the full body of the dress, so I ripped out a bunch of what I had knit so that I could scooch the pink farther down the hips.
 

The First Incarnation, with pink stripes starting at the waist. I decided to drop the stripes to the hips.	The First Incarnation on the body.

Harvey's look of dismay when I told him I was going to rip out over five inches of stitches was priceless. He saw me do this the first time when I was designing Vivian's dress last year, but it's still a shock to him. The women at the yarn shop were equally horrified when I told them, but I picked up the additional skein of grey and went home to set about getting what I had on the needle to match what was in my mind.

It didn't take long for the grey to be what I envisioned, and then I started adding the pink back in. This time around, the pink patch is the same three inches that it was the first time, but starts seven inches lower to balance the design, and I like it much better. The black is coming along too, and I'm almost finished with the body of the dress. I expect I'll be done with the sleeves no later than next week.

And yes, I do have a beret to wear with it.

 

The Eiffel Tower is around here somewhere, right?

 

 

 

[Heidi]

This is what happens when Madmen meets Paris.

As I put it on, sort of lamenting the finishing of the project at the same time as being excited that it fit as I had envisioned, I thought:

Wow.

I need stockings.

Knit stockings, in lace, sort of a feminine fishnet.

 

And yes, we are off to the races once more.

 

[DarK_RaideR]

Diggin' the vibe of your recent clothing picks. Keep it up.

[Heidi]

How did it get to be Thursday?

This week has seen no gym time yet, no reading, little writing, and way too much emotion.

Yesterday's road trip to a co-mediation was a relationship travesty, both on the two hours before the co-mediation and the two hours after. Issues in the mediation and the other editor's deep bias were triggers in their own right.

Also, the jeep is making a weird noise.

Then I received notification that the personal scholarship I had been given in July is being rescinded.

 

(It was a major Druid-skills needing afternoon and evening.)

 

I have cancelled all pending co-mediation appointments that are out of town and I have withdrawn from all classes for next term except one, and that one might get axed at the new year.

 

Tonight is visiting with Vivian. She sounded strange on the phone last night, and kept sounding unsure and uncertain about seeing us again, asking to talk with Harvey and asking us both for reassurances.

 

I'm looking forward to the visit, and hoping I can sit with the various feelings of betrayal and hurt, anxiety and vulnerability through the morning enough to process them before this afternoon's visit.

[DarK_RaideR]

Ugh, fingers crossed going forward. Let me know if you need some Ranger backup for your problems.

[Heidi]

Thanks, @DarK_RaideR. If I could Ranger my way out of this, I would call you in a heartbeat.

This is going to take some stillness, some quiet, and some serious feels.

 

While I was doing all that today, I decided to poke about with the stuff on my To-Do list, since I have so much of it coming up, what with a contest deadline tomorrow, a submission due date tomorrow, and three papers due Monday. I also have a spiritual formation book discussion tonight, but I made an executive decision that something had to go, and that was it.

 

I started off by not doing any of the things on the list, as is frequently my weird, nesting way. I applied for a part time job creating presentations and tours and exhibits for the local museum to work with and enhance the state standards and school curriculum. How cool would that be?

 

I also sent a note a few days ago to the head of the Community Supported Agriculture farm offering to provide dry goods (beans, grains, oil, sugar, flour, baking supplies and the like) to her subscribers if she wanted to partner up. She wrote me today that she is thinking it over, which I think is really positive (frankly, if i were to get a couple dozen subscribers in the valley, I would be able to consider myself in business, period).

 

Meanwhile, I set about sending in the piece for the contest, but I couldn't find the link, so i went to the submission dashboard and sussed it out from there, finding a handful of others in the process. I applied to five contests, in all. 

I worked with the pieces I have for submission to the workshop tomorrow and made them ready. They could use more work, of course; no draft is ever final. Tomorrow will see a submission without issue.

I wrote my reasons as to why i should get a scholarship from the other MFA program i am applying for, and finalized the work on the portfolio for that as well. I can send it in next week after I have the papers done.

 

I got a note back from my thesis advisor that he is recommending me for the MFA program. Did I mention that the other professor I asked said yes as well? He did, last week, and this brings my work on the submission packet to nearly complete. I have the portfolio itself and the scholarship application to assemble, but otherwise, the work is done.

 

With all the emotions, I'm surprised I was able to sleep at all last night, but bonus: I did. And I wasn't a grouch this morning, and that was a sheer act of willpower. Knowing I only had to hold my tongue for a finite amount of time helped.

 

Yesterday I took a hot bath, and it helped. I am looking forward to swimming with Vivian this afternoon.

[Heidi]

I forgot to mention that I wrote up two knitting projects on Ravelry, and that I'm working on writing the pattern for the dress so that I can submit it to knitwear magazines as well as making it available in my local yarn shop.

 

Parisian Poorboy dress

Aurora capelet

[Heidi]

Applied to four more publications.They aren't contests, so no awards, but publication is cool.

I wrote to the farmer and offered a ten percent discount to her members if they sign up for dry goods delivery.

 

I think I'm pretty well done for the day.

[Heidi]

Made it to the gym with Vivian after her violin lesson. Swam 600 yards, then 15 minutes in the sauna.

Rice beef and peas for dinner while we played Sleeping Queens (a card game).

And she set up her Playmobil advent calendar; the first piece is an ice skating girl.

 

I'm wiped out.

[Heidi]

Submitted my work for December for the MFA class. Last one for this term.

Submitted a piece for publication. That makes nine this week.

Working on the Aurora capelet for Vivian.

 

There are too many emotions to deal with, so God made knitting and tea.

And the sauna. I'm looking forward to the sauna later.

[spooky]

Sending lots of good vibes your way, the universe needs to find its chill, but until then, you've done an amazing job finding yours even in the midst of a ton of obstacles. 

 

what sort of stories are you submitting for publication? (i'm 100% cheerleading this, and it's also inspiring for me). 

 

I love the dress, and it looks fantastic on you. 

 

Most of all, I love seeing you dealing with what comes while always reaching for the things you want. 

 

<333

[Heidi]

From Friday:

Submitted my work for December for the MFA class. Last one for this term.

Submitted a piece for publication. That makes nine this week.

Working on the Aurora capelet for Vivian.

 

There are too many emotions to deal with, so God made knitting and tea.

And the sauna. I'm looking forward to the sauna later.

[Heidi]

Out and about

 

Harvey and I met up with some Friends to attend the NAACP luncheon on peace and social justice. It was an inspiring and uplifting gathering, and Jeff May's message was motivating. As a lovely bit of synchronicity, I was seated next to Idella Glenn of Hollins. We had a lovely chat during the event.
 

After the Friends dispersed, we visited the local yarn store and I got advice on where to get test knitters and technical editing for the dress pattern (ravelry, of course) and talked yarn weights and processes and more fiber goodness.

Then we made our way downtown, where we got some sipping chocolate, talked about what we had learned, and relaxed.

We grabbed a pizza from Buddy Marconi's across the street and considered ourselves off the hook for cooking for the day.  They sell a 28" pizza and give away $500 if you eat it all in an hour. I didn't make it all the way through my single slice of pepperoni; it's huge.

In the village, we dropped in on Erica at the toy store to give her an Advent gift and to enjoy caroling on the porch. I love that place.

Before going home, we caught up with Linda at Too Many Books. I have been eyeing a stitches book that she has and finally decided to buy it for the home library.

We played Quiddler while we ate pizza and then picked up some oranges and sundries at the co-op before watching Mr. Robot.

Another fantastic Saturday in my town.


 

Caroling on the toy store porch

 

Planning my next project

 

 

[Heidi]

Sunday I spent at the meeting with Friends, then knitting at home before time for the gym (swim 440 yards, 15 minutes sauna) before catching a movie, the second this week.

We saw Lady Bird at the local theatre on Friday, then caught 3 Billboards last night, and both are brilliant. 3 Billboards really hit home for me, and I am glad to see works taking a more substantive turn. Maybe there's hope for the film genre yet (and the industry, too).

 

This morning I turned in my craft papers, all three of them, and that leaves only the critiques for the completion of this term.

In a moment of synchronicity, the newcomer to the Friends meeting is in the MFA program I'm applying to in town. She and I talked shop for about thirty minutes, and I can't wait to see her again. I'm also now pretty certain that she came to reinforce my assessment that the program I'm in isn't the one I need -- I think @DarK_RaideR went through a similar bit of angst when he decided to transition from one CrossFit Box to another, and I have been leaning into my  intuition on this matter.  I also had two Friends offer letters of recommendation, one a former professor at the school, though in a different program. I have a month or so to work on the portfolio and the personal statement; the letters of recommendation are coming in, and that is enough to push me. I'm a little intimidated by the work requirements of fifteen-twenty pages a week, but we all know I can do it if I focus, and pushing the focus is what the program is for.

 

I'm having a tired day, but I have been trying to look at what is working as opposed to what isn't. I got the papers done and I feel solid about them; I have nothing on my plate until the afternoon therapy appointment, which I am looking forward to. The weekly evening meeting might have to take a back burner. We'll see. It's all about balance.

[Heidi]

On 12/1/2017 at 2:04 PM, spooky said:

Sending lots of good vibes your way, the universe needs to find its chill, but until then, you've done an amazing job finding yours even in the midst of a ton of obstacles. 

 

what sort of stories are you submitting for publication? (i'm 100% cheerleading this, and it's also inspiring for me). 

 

I love the dress, and it looks fantastic on you. 

 

Most of all, I love seeing you dealing with what comes while always reaching for the things you want. 

 

<333

Thank you for the good thoughts, @spooky -- i need them! I write creative nonfiction, and for reasons I don't understand, the muse is writing memoir pieces right now, focusing on the 6-16 years mostly, and that's what I have been submitting to the journals. I am probably not good enough to get in, but it's the act that matters right now. This is, in fact, the best work I'm producing, so it deserves my best efforts in response (did that make a lick of sense?)

 

Thanks about the dress! I'm super excited and proud, and I kind of feel awkward about my physical shape, so positive reinforcement is good for me. I'm thinking that the first one above, in the chocolate shop, is the cover photo for the dress, while the one in the book store is my biography picture for where they always include a pic and a bit about the designer.

[DarK_RaideR]

1 hour ago, Heidi said:

Looking sharp there, good call in combining that dress with high boots. I think this illustrates your point that this needs some stockings.

 

1 hour ago, Heidi said:

I'm also now pretty certain that she came to reinforce my assessment that the program I'm in isn't the one I need -- I think @DarK_RaideR went through a similar bit of angst when he decided to transition from one CrossFit Box to another, and I have been leaning into my  intuition on this matter.

Not sure if the analogy is the most appropriate, but certainly go with your gut feeling.

[maegs]

Your dress (and you!) looks so great! Moving the stripes down was definitely the right way to go  

[Heidi]

3 minutes ago, maegs said:

Your dress (and you!) looks so great! Moving the stripes down was definitely the right way to go  

Thanks!
Want to be a test knitter for me?

https://www.ravelry.com/groups/village-knits-test-group

[Heidi]

What a week so far. 

There has been lots of personal drama, and frankly, i'm just tired of it.

In case, you know, the universe is listening, and decides that my preferences matter or anything.

 

In other news, I wrote and delivered all three papers that were due on Monday. I had a moment of brief panic when the rest of my small group started sharing the pages around on Tuesday, some of the ones we were to read for the paper, and I started to think i had Messed Up Everything and done the assignment wrong and turned it in wrong and was going to fail.

 

But no.

 

They hadn't started the reading yet.

(Yes, this was Tuesday afternoon. Yes, the papers were due Monday. Yes, the Monday before. I don't understand people.)

 

I have three critiques to write for delivery tomorrow. 

 

In other news, we had our basic pre-court meeting with the attorney, and all seems well.

We have made some headway on tweaking the organization of the apartment. It will be a lifelong process, most likely.

We went to small group spiritual formation gathering, and it was nice to see everyone again.

 

I had therapy, which is a delight.

 

Nope, I haven't made it to the gym yet this week. What is up with that?

 

Happy Thursday!

[Heidi]

I'm writing the critiques this morning and I'm working on neatening up the house.

The First Snow energy is on me, and i'm quiet and still but poised, coiled inside, ready to Spring.

 

I'm writing today, looking out the window on occasion, waiting for the first flakes to fall.

It's a good day.

[maegs]

On 12/4/2017 at 1:21 PM, Heidi said:

Thanks!
Want to be a test knitter for me?

https://www.ravelry.com/groups/village-knits-test-group

I mean, I would be the slowest test knitter of all time, especially cause I've just got the supplies for a big sweater I'm making for a friend, so I'm not sure how actually useful I would be for you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

[Heidi]

Snow happened, and a visit with Vivian, and lots of paperwork and playtime.

In knitting : I scrapped the sweater for Vivian, realised I might need to use a different black yarn for Vivian's caplets, and started on a lace stole.

I had two co-mediation meetings, though one was cancelled for weather.

 

No gym, but a week of winter festivities and social events, including Dar Williams' talk on community building, a women's meet up, the Friends Winter party, therapy, and a hair appointment.

 

I heard back from one contest: the piece didn't win but they want to publish it. I had to let them know the piece is ought at other contests, but they can publish if it gets rejected from those. It was a nice problem to have.

 

And court yesterday.

Court was difficult, with my sons and mother coming to say things against me, but they weren't called. There were plenty of difficult and untrue things to hear from Vivian's father, and from the guardian ad litem; the counselor who was called sounded confused and ultimately said that she didn't see the need to continue with counseling.

 

The ruling is that the twice a week calls will be maintained, with Vivian's father leaving the room and Vivian not having distractions. Every other weekend will be maintained, with overnight Sunday being added. I will continue to have Vivian on Thursday after school until taking her home at 7:30 p.m.

 

There were specific orders for me to wash and feed her, as well as specific orders to have her homework completed every night. It's a loss of face, but no real issue, and Vivian deserves to have assurances if any claim is made otherwise, which there were, because there isn't anything true they can say.

 

Of course, I would like to see her more, and I would like to have better communication with her father about Vivian. We were all lectured to get along and discuss Vivian, which I think is a great idea.

 

Love leads to forgiveness.
Forgiveness leads to reconciliation.
Reconciliation leads to peace.