Cataleya Means Business

[Urgan]

19 hours ago, Cataleya said:

Picked up my meds. I'm a bit annoyed I couldn't exchange my meds, meaning I had to buy them again. Cost wise that was fine, $20 is whatever, but I would have been screwed if I was on my old insurance because they'd have charged me full price since it was within 30 days or whatever. And then I was like fine, can you guys dispose of this at least, and they were like no but you can take them to the sheriff's department.

I flushed them down the toilet.
(Yes, the FDA is fine with that.)

Then I found out they gave me the generic birth control I don't like as much. That might actually be CVS's fault. I asked for the brand name when they tried to renew it the first time and the guy sent it to the wrong doctor. I also made sure to bring it up to them the second time I tried to get it refilled, to the correct doctor, who didn't respond. So the third time I don't know if they sent the same note or left it blank, or if the doctor didn't pay attention.

What I need is a PCP again, but finding a woman friendly PCP might be hard around here. (A LOT of my female friends have had complaints so they just skip the PCP when possible.) We'll see.

 

Wut.

 

19 hours ago, Cataleya said:

Protein is going well. I'm slowly edging up to 110g, so I'm going to use that as a goal for next week. As a reminder to myself, MFP is recommending about 131g of protein a day, so it'll be longer I think before I can focus on carbs and fat, though I think that's naturally been shifting. I'm not in a rush in any case. I find that many days I end up cramming my protein in the tail end of the day, which ends up feeling kind of gross. So today I had a protein drink in the morning, which worked out much better but I was full most of the day. Which is good but also funny when someone is trying to get a macro in. Calories are hovering between 1300 and 1500 with the occasional 1600, which isn't bad.

 

This is evidence you are making progress, I think everyone goes from "I can't eat that much protein!" to "Oooof I got all the protein finally," to "I'mma eat it first thing...oops now I'm full." Gotta experiment with protein sources that work for you. 

 

19 hours ago, Cataleya said:

Getting enough steps in now. Running will help, too. Tomorrow is my scheduled running day. I'm debating between running outside in the morning, but it'll be like 20F/-7C outside. I have the gear for it, and I probably should do it in the morning to guarantee I do it. MFP has this blog post about how running in the cold makes you lose more fat or something. Maybe true, maybe not. Haven't looked at the research. We'll see what I end up doing but part of me wants to feel like a Real Athlete and do the early morning workout. We'll see, lol.

 

Real morning Athlete = Real Cranky. Preworkout or coffee is life.

[Cataleya]

 

Real morning Athlete = Real Cranky. Preworkout or coffee is life.

Or I can just get swept up in life and not run at all. Whoops. Tomorrow morning it is.

 

Today was hectic. Dealt with passive aggressiveness from the lead in the project I'm trying to wrap up. Gave a couple students makeup tests. Called someone trying to work here's reference and had a fairly awkward but good convo. Tried to focus enough to get some work done, failed miserably. Then swung by home so we could mail out Christmas presents, and then we went to the mall to pick up some last minute presents before we head to Schatz's family tomorrow. We ate at a local Greek restaurant and met up with a friend to give him his Christmas present since he was in town this weekend. Then we went home and I wrapped the presents and realized I hadn't run. Otherwise I hit all goals. Had 75g of protein in me before I went home. Might have been a bit too much frontloading.

 

So my plan is to run in the morning before graduation. If not it'll be after, but it will get done before we leave. Just gonna start c25k and see where that takes me.

 

Ugh. Tired. Finishing up this episode of Parts Unknown and going to bed.

 

[Urgan]

3 minutes ago, Cataleya said:

So my plan is to run in the morning before graduation. If not it'll be after, but it will get done before we leave. Just gonna start c25k and see where that takes me.

 

When I graduated, I was shocked at how much standing around happens. Especially if you are anxious and show up early lol.

[Cataleya]

 
When I graduated, I was shocked at how much standing around happens. Especially if you are anxious and show up early lol.

Ah, I did that already this summer. I'm faculty now, and I guess we mostly sit for the whole hour. XD

[Cataleya]

Brief update, will be more in depth tomorrow, but visit to the family was good. The only goal I did not hit was getting 100g each day this weekend. I got around 72g each day, which was still pretty good. Carbs were twice as high today as yesterday though, but I had about twice as much control over what I ate yesterday vs today. So still not terrible.

Also had fun. [emoji813]

[Cataleya]

So yeah. Weekly update and such.

 

Meds and steps are good. Still getting 10k on everything, upped to 3 Metformin a day today. I feel okay now, but we'll see how I feel after tennis.

Strength training. I think I'm gonna try to work my way through the NF beginning bodyweight workout for now.

Running. I only did one last week, and finals end this week, so I might do an extra day of this, but we'll see how I feel. First day I could do it is Wednesday.

Protein is bumped up to 110g/day this week. I ate like an asshole this week. I think TOM is coming, and I had a bunch of carbs over the weekend, and I feel like when I eat more carbs I want more carbs. So I will get 110g today, but everything else feels kind of gross.

 

Weekly digest from MFP is saying that I ate mostly between 1200-1500 calories, with some exceptions. Macros are kind of all over the place; mostly I see I'm still mostly over on carbs, under on protein, and either dead on or above on fat. This is with regard to the 40/30/30 split, not my #g goals right now. Just something to keep an eye on.

 

Soda is officially counted and water are added this week. I'm going to do the standard 8 8oz glasses of water per day thing and see how that feels. If it feels like too much, I'll cut down, and vice versa. I've felt dehydrated lately, so this will be welcome, I think. I haven't had soda for a while, so that should be pretty easy.

 

I might shift my goals a bit, to focus on sleep and fat next week, then stretching, then carbs and sweets. If only because I think trying to cut out sweets during the holidays is going to be its own special kind of hell.

 

Tennis in an hour and a half. I'm playing number 3 doubles (the whole league is doubles this season), mostly because I had dropped out then added myself back in, and we rotate around a lot since it's not an official league.

 

EDIT: Got bumped up to number 2 doubles, and yup, TOM is all but here. Wonderful. Without the pill this month I had no real idea when that was happening. Glad I can start that again next week.

[Cataleya]

Eh, we lost pretty badly despite me having my best serves yet (two aces even) and a great net game (to the extent they tried not to hit it to me when I was up). We played out in what's known as The Bubble (outdoor courts that have a tent put up, reminds us of a bubble). My tennis partner apparently saw aquatic warfare during her time in the service and the venue reminds her of her time there, and the guy running things tonight knew that but put us in there anyway, so she wasn't really feeling it. Add in that it was hot and I was gassy and frustrated, and by the end I wasn't much feeling it either, though my performance didn't seem to suffer for it. It's not an official league so it doesn't matter, and well even if it was it's not like any of us are going to be playing in Wimbledon or anything so as long as you try your hardest and have fun who cares. Just frustrating that I was playing so well comparatively speaking and it didn't work out.

[Urgan]

14 hours ago, Cataleya said:

I might shift my goals a bit, to focus on sleep and fat next week, then stretching, then carbs and sweets. If only because I think trying to cut out sweets during the holidays is going to be its own special kind of hell.

 

A gentle taper down and then setting some rules about when/how much sugar you will allow yourself to have might work? 

 

11 hours ago, Cataleya said:

Eh, we lost pretty badly despite me having my best serves yet (two aces even) and a great net game (to the extent they tried not to hit it to me when I was up). We played out in what's known as The Bubble (outdoor courts that have a tent put up, reminds us of a bubble). My tennis partner apparently saw aquatic warfare during her time in the service and the venue reminds her of her time there, and the guy running things tonight knew that but put us in there anyway, so she wasn't really feeling it. Add in that it was hot and I was gassy and frustrated, and by the end I wasn't much feeling it either, though my performance didn't seem to suffer for it. It's not an official league so it doesn't matter, and well even if it was it's not like any of us are going to be playing in Wimbledon or anything so as long as you try your hardest and have fun who cares. Just frustrating that I was playing so well comparatively speaking and it didn't work out.

 

But you did it. Your body doesn't care about the score, sounds like you worked hard and did well for your part of the court.

[Cataleya]

5 hours ago, Urgan said:

A gentle taper down and then setting some rules about when/how much sugar you will allow yourself to have might work? 

Well, part of the problem too is that a lot of these sweets are homemade, so it's hard for me to even accurately measure the sugar content in a lot of these. During most of the rest of the year, if I eat something sugary, it's generally something that is packaged by a professional company or I make it myself and have some control over how much sugar is in it. When it's other people's stuff though, I don't know what they did.

 

I'm not terribly strict on my logging (I don't need to find the exact thing, just something like it), but knowing my history with sugar I really am going to need to focus on what I'm taking in once I get to that point. I want to start that journal when I'm not in an environment that screams, "ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT ANY WHY ARE YOU NOT EATING ALL THE THINGS CAT" because let's be frank my willpower isn't that strong. I just kind of feel like I'm setting myself up for failure if I time it now. I will be watching myself (or attempting to) over the next few weeks, but I don't want to hold myself to the same standards that I do with, say, protein just yet, especially since it's more of an "absence of" rather than a "reach benchmark" sort of goal and that's a little bit more difficult. If that makes sense. It will definitely be a slow tapering off though, because I feel like with diet, huge sudden changes are just not going to stick as well.

 

I also want to note that my goal isn't to cut sugar completely, just to get a better handle on it. Because to do otherwise would be insane.

 

 

 

5 hours ago, Urgan said:

But you did it. Your body doesn't care about the score, sounds like you worked hard and did well for your part of the court.

True enough. I did feel like I wasn't playing much tennis when they kept hitting it to my partner. XD But it was still fun, and I'm proud of the nice shots that I did hit.

[Urgan]

38 minutes ago, Cataleya said:

I also want to note that my goal isn't to cut sugar completely, just to get a better handle on it. Because to do otherwise would be insane.

 

I live in this world as well. 

 

39 minutes ago, Cataleya said:

True enough. I did feel like I wasn't playing much tennis when they kept hitting it to my partner. XD But it was still fun, and I'm proud of the nice shots that I did hit.

 

Annoying as it is to stand there holding the racket, it's an acknowledgement that you were not the weak link there.

[Cataleya]

Welp, haven't updated in a bit. Sorry about that. Have been keeping up via Insta and MFP.

 

I've been meeting all my goals, so things are going mostly smoothly. The last few days, probably because of TOM, I've been really wanting sweets like no tomorrow. One day I got two London Fogs at Starbucks, which aren't terrible compared to most of the other drinks you can get there, and it fucked up everything. It was really hard to get enough protein without doing crazy numbers on calories. So Starbucks is officially tea only from here on out. Maybe the occasional London Fog (no more than one per week) but it'll be sugar free sweetener and no larger than a tall. That day was rough. (It didn't help that I also got a cake pop or something which KILLS in calories and carbs holy shit...) I actually think that was supposed to be part of my soda goal, but I didn't word it that way and I guess I forgot. So it's a part of it now. I now get negative points in Habitica for soda or sweetened drinks at Starbucks.

 

Anyway, let's see. I finished up the project with the person that's been kind of frustrating lately, and it doesn't look like he ever wants to touch that data again, so they probably won't need me again. I have a weird relationship with that group, in that I mostly like them as individuals, but I don't trust several members of the group and my self-preservation instincts definitely come in when talking to them. And the lead guy has some personal issues that he really should work out because he's great when he's on top of his life but when he's not... yeesh. But yeah. I think I'm done with that.

 

Protein. So despite me making 110g every day this week, I have a feeling that the percentages from this week aren't going to be any better than last week's. We'll see if that pans out, I could be wrong. I'm not specifically tracking that, but I will be interested in seeing if my hunch is right. I just kind of feel like in general I'm eating more. But we did pick up more real food this week, including chicken (and tomorrow we're grabbing salmon) so maybe things will end up being okay. I am going to have to compare this week and last week in terms of numbers to see what's happening, and of course continue to monitor stuff.

 

Been getting 64oz of water-like substances in (I count uncaffeinated tea as well). Nothing really to report there. Probably the least interesting of my habits. Also have had no soda since... well a while, so that's an easy thing to check off. Again, added Starbucks to this, except regular tea.

 

I am just doing one set of the bodyweight workout so far (and without the dumbbell rows) because that kills my legs for at least a day afterward every time. I say every time but I've done it like three times so far. I'll probably add the dumbbell rows once I feel comfortable doing one set of everything, but that will be a while. I'm sure being overweight is part of what makes me so tired/weak during it, but still. Damn. Beginner my ass! XD

 

As we said before, tennis was fine. Also getting 10k steps; most days I do need the biking help, but that's okay. Once I kick up running and such, it'll probably be less of an issue. Next week is a tennis clinic and then some light refreshments to finish off the season. I'm not sure when the next league is but until then my tennis day will be replaced with a run day.

 

I managed to do running on Wednesday, which went fine. I went in the morning, and ran outside, which was surprisingly okay. It helped that I was rehearsing an argument at work I knew was going to be happening later on. (I play devil's advocate for myself pretty often to make sure I am making logical sense, so it wasn't out of anger or anything.) The argument did happen, it was not great, and no one sides with the other person but they still got their way. So figure that one out. It's not really something I have been dwelling on, but I just really dislike how condescending this person gets and how shitty their logic is on basically everything they ever try to argue. I ran my feelings past a coworker after the argument (am I taking this too personally or were they being too condescending for no reason?) and the coworker agreed that no, the arguer does this a lot and really needs to stop. I don't know what that means for the future, but it makes it hard on everyone since no one wants to serve on committees or anything with this person because, well. They get shitty.

 

Medication compliance is fine. My weight has struggled to dip below 205lbs, so I wondered if maybe the Metformin wasn't working right or something, and then I read it can take anywhere from 4-8 weeks (estimates varied pretty widely) to actually start helping with weight loss, if it's going to help at all. So I've got a while, unfortunately. Everything else is fine. I need to pick up more of the B-12 liquid, which is probably my favorite thing to take (and I have gummies!) since it's quick and actually kind of tastes good. I do seem to have a bit more energy and it's easier to get up in the morning, but I'm changing quite a few things at once so it could be anything, really. It could also be the increased caloric intake from increasing my protein, but I'll wait until I have more data to try to parse that, especially since I am also increasing activity levels.

 

Anyway, run day tomorrow. Hopefully my legs aren't too dead from strength training today. They still weren't feeling great from Tuesday! XD

 

Habitica has been really helpful for tracking all of this. I'm not sure I really care about the reward system because I'm already pretty intrinsically motivated, but there's a little NF community on there and I like talking to them. I'm also a member of a party, so when we do challenges, if I miss a habit, my whole party gets hurt. So that's been a bit more motivation to make sure I do everything every day. Don't care about the rewards really, but I would hate to cause my party damage. This works way better than a bujo ever did for me, though it basically is a bujo, just a bit more automated and there's a party system.

[Urgan]

10 hours ago, Cataleya said:

I've been meeting all my goals, so things are going mostly smoothly. The last few days, probably because of TOM, I've been really wanting sweets like no tomorrow. One day I got two London Fogs at Starbucks, which aren't terrible compared to most of the other drinks you can get there, and it fucked up everything. It was really hard to get enough protein without doing crazy numbers on calories. So Starbucks is officially tea only from here on out. Maybe the occasional London Fog (no more than one per week) but it'll be sugar free sweetener and no larger than a tall. That day was rough. (It didn't help that I also got a cake pop or something which KILLS in calories and carbs holy shit...) I actually think that was supposed to be part of my soda goal, but I didn't word it that way and I guess I forgot. So it's a part of it now. I now get negative points in Habitica for soda or sweetened drinks at Starbucks.

 

10 hours ago, Cataleya said:

Habitica has been really helpful for tracking all of this. I'm not sure I really care about the reward system because I'm already pretty intrinsically motivated, but there's a little NF community on there and I like talking to them. I'm also a member of a party, so when we do challenges, if I miss a habit, my whole party gets hurt. So that's been a bit more motivation to make sure I do everything every day. Don't care about the rewards really, but I would hate to cause my party damage. This works way better than a bujo ever did for me, though it basically is a bujo, just a bit more automated and there's a party system.

 

I made a joke on @Br0din's thread that knowing is half the battle, but it really is. The fact that you are connecting food to macros is a big leap of progress in itself. It discourages you from making random sub-optimal choices without building it in to your macros. Nothing wrong with a cake pop or coffee IIFYM. Later on, a variance here and there will matter less.

 

10 hours ago, Cataleya said:

Medication compliance is fine. My weight has struggled to dip below 205lbs, so I wondered if maybe the Metformin wasn't working right or something, and then I read it can take anywhere from 4-8 weeks (estimates varied pretty widely) to actually start helping with weight loss, if it's going to help at all. So I've got a while, unfortunately. Everything else is fine. I need to pick up more of the B-12 liquid, which is probably my favorite thing to take (and I have gummies!) since it's quick and actually kind of tastes good. I do seem to have a bit more energy and it's easier to get up in the morning, but I'm changing quite a few things at once so it could be anything, really. It could also be the increased caloric intake from increasing my protein, but I'll wait until I have more data to try to parse that, especially since I am also increasing activity levels.

 

Can't speak to the medication's effects on bodyweight, but this. If you can hold your calories static and get to 3-4 exercise sessions per week, you will see that number move. You're still getting your habits in place, so please remember patience lol. 

[Br0din]

[Echoceanic]

On 15/12/2017 at 5:24 AM, Cataleya said:

I am going to have to compare this week and last week in terms of numbers to see what's happening, and of course continue to monitor stuff.

 

I am actually really learning things from how you track things. So much that I wanted to ask you a question about MyFitnessPal. I opened an account (gonna try it for one month next year to just see what my food is like) and I have a question about tracking food. Example - I eat wheat bread with rye. The exact brand is not in the scroll down thing (I didn't expect it in there), so how do I know which one is near it? The answer might be something stupidly simple as in - compare them.  

[Cataleya]

 

I am actually really learning things from how you track things. So much that I wanted to ask you a question about MyFitnessPal. I opened an account (gonna try it for one month next year to just see what my food is like) and I have a question about tracking food. Example - I eat wheat bread with rye. The exact brand is not in the scroll down thing (I didn't expect it in there), so how do I know which one is near it? The answer might be something stupidly simple as in - compare them. [emoji3] 

I'm glad I'm helping! If you're using the app, you can actually scan the UPC (the bar code) and 99.9% of the time it'll pop up. Even my German food pops up. Sometimes it'll be off by a little bit (like if they reformulated their recipes) but I don't take too strict of an approach with that stuff unless it's way off. If you're at a restaurant they also have a restaurant button up near the top that looks like a map marker you can use. That's a bit more hit and miss, so I often have to search anyway.

 

So I do those things first when possible, and then I will search the brand and whatever it is and get it that way. If neither of those work, or it's homemade or something, I just search the item and pick something in the ballpark of the other items. So like if most of the rye breads say a slice is like 120 calories, I'll pick one of those rather than the one that says it's 50 calories or the one that says it's 200 calories. I also have a food scale which helps me differentiate, if I'm at home.

 

Sometimes I'll eat somewhere where I can build my meal and then use their nutrition calculator to figure out what I ate. In that case I'll use their calculator and then just Quick Add the macros. No point in doing anything more complicated than that.

 

I'm lucky I guess that most of my stuff seems to be accurate according to the labeling, so I don't sweat it too much if I have to estimate a few items here or there. Several years ago, before I was diagnosed with hypo and PCOS, I mean I tracked EVERYTHING down to shit I didnt even understand and it just wore me out trying to hit 100 different goals and wondering if I wasn't losing weight because I didn't get enough of this random nutrient today. It was probably the healthiest I ate in a while, but I wasn't happy.

 

So if I sneak a chocolate covered pretzel here or there, that's okay and I don't log it unless I feel like from that one I'm gonna eat more (common), or if I notice I've snuck quite a few one pieces here or here (this happens less often). It's also why I am tracking one macro at a time, while just monitoring how my food choices affect the others. It's less overwhelming that way.

 

So yeah, all that to say just make your best guess with the tools you have available and don't sweat it. Maybe you pick one that has more carbs than your bread actually has. Sometime next week you'll probably pick an option with fewer carbs than what you're actually eating. And good luck! The people commenting on my thread are super knowledgeable so stick with them and feel free to ask whatever. I love it when we network and learn from each other!

 

[Cataleya]

So friends, I need a boost.

It's funny because while I keep marveling at my improvements in some areas, things which are improvements in and of themselves, I still feel a bit down this week because of a lack of primary outcomes.

Example: I knew company was coming over for a small holiday get together yesterday, so I front loaded some protein and crafted a simple meal that was protein friendly. Since it was at our place, I had control over this, and took advantage of that. Then, I went to a community event that a friend was organizing, and she suggested sending her brother on a Taco Bell run after he was done doing something. I checked, and a chicken chalupa fit and even would put me at 110g protein, so I ordered. One. Not two, but one. No soda. And I was satisfied and happy for myself that I made this happen.

And yet I weighed myself this morning out of curiosity and my weight is 206lbs. I officially log tomorrow, but yeah. I should really measure but truth be told I'm still just embarrassed by my body and am treating it like it's me confronting how I look which doesn't make sense logically, it's just tracking. But emotionally I feel a bit out of it this week.

In fact, comparing this past week with the week of November 20th, I see that on average I reduced my carb intake by about 30g (from 47% to 34% of my total intake) and increased my protein intake by almost 50g (from 18% to 29%). That's great! But I feel bleh.

Maybe part of it was like yes I can at least get under 200lbs before 2018 which is completely arbitrary but would have been a nice start to the year, a bit of a morale boost.

Maybe I also expected, just from what everyone always says, but grad school is really stressful and I hear these stories from people I know about losing 15lbs after graduating because the stress is gone. Much like those "I dropped soda and lost 10lbs" stories and what have you. And it seems like, with every other story, that doesn't seem to apply to my body. Dropping soda has never done anything noticeable and even though I do feel a lot less stressed now that I have graduated, that doesn't seem to have done anything either. I wasnt really expecting it to fall off overnight but I wish I'd seen something by now.

And I have a hangover headache this morning, despite not having had alcohol in... a while. Not sure how long but definitely a few weeks.

I also realized said home gathering was the last of my get togethers, except maybe next Saturday there's another event I am going to which might have food, but otherwise Schatz and I aren't really going anywhere the rest of the holidays, so I might stick with my original schedule. Except I'm going to stay at 110g this coming week and keep everything the same because I want to see if this funk is just that I'm trying to progress too quickly and need to slow down or what.

I got new protein powder and it tastes like ass IMHO so for those of you who use it, what's your favorite? I was using Eas soy protein powder which was okay. Now I have Purely Inspired and no thanks. I don't think even adding strawberries would save it.

[Sloth the Enduring]

Maintaining your weight over the holidays is an impressive feat. You seem to be developing good habits; keep them up and you’ll get to onederland.

 

I get unflavored protein from Truenutrition.com and add fruit and sweetener to make it palatable. I’ve never liked any preflavored powders.

[NeverThatBored]

Hey there! I totally didn't realize you had a thread going here. I'm following along now!

 

On 12/7/2017 at 8:42 PM, Cataleya said:

I tried to do the beginner bodyweight circuit from NF and couldn't get through one set. So. I guess I have my work cut out for me. I think the weights goal is the one thing I am kind of disappointed with because I just don't know what I want out of my strength training. I want to be strong. That's great. There are a lot of ways to get to strong though, and I'm terribly unsure of how to get there.

 

I started out on NF doing the beginner bodyweight circuit. I still go back to it sometimes. I started doing some bootcamp workouts at one point after I'd been doing it for a while, and I was objectively a lot stronger than a lot of the other people there just from doing that circuit. So, it's a good place to start while you're still figuring out what your strength goals are.

 

It's totally ok if you can't get through the whole thing. Just try to do one more rep or a few more seconds each time, and do it consistently, and you'll be able to do the whole thing before you know it. 

[Echoceanic]

On 17/12/2017 at 4:57 PM, Cataleya said:

So I do those things first when possible, and then I will search the brand and whatever it is and get it that way. If neither of those work, or it's homemade or something, I just search the item and pick something in the ballpark of the other items. So like if most of the rye breads say a slice is like 120 calories, I'll pick one of those rather than the one that says it's 50 calories or the one that says it's 200 calories. I also have a food scale which helps me differentiate, if I'm at home.

 

 

Thanks for responding. Most of my food is homemade and I rarely go out, so I probably just won't log the restaurant foods if it's something overly complicated. I am in a really tiny town/country and most things I eat are made locally-ish so I'll go with the approximate one. I have to learn to not be a perfectionist when it comes to this - after all I just want to see if I'm getting too little of any of the big three. 

 

On 17/12/2017 at 6:46 PM, Cataleya said:

Much like those "I dropped soda and lost 10lbs" stories and what have you. And it seems like, with every other story, that doesn't seem to apply to my body. Dropping soda has never done anything noticeable and even though I do feel a lot less stressed now that I have graduated, that doesn't seem to have done anything either. I wasnt really expecting it to fall off overnight but I wish I'd seen something by now.

 

Everyone has a different body. And every require different things. It's okay if you don't change drastically, your body has its own speed. Focus on not letting it change your mindset in regards to food/exercise into something unhealthy and don't give up. This is as much of a mental shift as is a physical one, you're taking control of a part of your life that fell to the way side when your life became hectic. Any change is a good change.

I'd suggest the same thing as @NeverThatBored, consistent slow progress is a good thing. Focus on what you can do that you couldn't before and celebrate any tiny milestone you reach. Either way you can count on us waving some pom poms and cheering when you need it  

[Cataleya]

So I made some changes after realizing how happy I was the day I missed my protein goal. I went back to 100g protein and and moved it on Habitica from a daily to a habit. I realized I was starting to develop unhealthy habits and thoughts about food, scarfing down protein drinks and eggs to get to my goal. I don't mind shakes and I love eggs but it was getting to be a bit much. Taking a step back to find ways to just improve my natural intake of protein without making me hate my life.

[Cataleya]

So, real update time. I got into a slump the past few days, maybe weeks, I dunno. I feel like where I'm at in life is just kind of a weird place. I got my PhD but I'm still a junior faculty member so it's hard to feel like that's an accomplishment, especially when you have coworkers treating you like you're stupid despite you probably being better trained than they are. (I'm not trying to brag or whatever, there's just some basic shit one of them gets wrong that I'm like how did you even get this job?)

Anyway, I am engaged but we haven't done any wedding planning and it's making me a little anxious. I don't know if I want kids. I don't know if I can have kids, what with the PCOS and everything. I don't know, well, a lot about where I am or where I want to be. I was on autopilot for so long and so busy fixing other people's problems that I wasn't focused on myself, and sometimes even made to feel guilty for wanting to improve myself and draw boundaries for what I was willing to do. Lots of saboteurs out there. And then worrying about my partner's health and how long he's going to live and not wanting to be like my grandma and spend 20 years wanting to die after he dies, and not wanting to put him in that position either. Schatz is really supportive of my goals and tries not to be a bad influence despite also having a sweet tooth or two. We're both learning moderation a bit better. But I wish he was doing more. I also realize that's not my job. He has to want it.

And you know, all of that death stuff. We get told our 20s will be crazy, and I guess mine were, but in a different way. I didn't sleep around or drink a lot or party or make a bunch of stupid decisions or whatever, other than maybe going to grad school (lol). And then the more cynical part of me is like what's the point if we're just going to kick it and there's nothing after (YMMV, I'm an apatheist) and no one will remember you and if you don't have kids nothing lives on after you, and that part of me fighting with the optimist in me saying then why not spend this time living the best life you can? Like trying to get a high score for a game you're only going to play once. I got two quarters, and this game costs 50 cents. That kind of thing.

I think winter just does this to me and it sucks. I don't know how to escape that mindset.

More recently? I guess... Part of it was also me scarfing down stuff I didn't want to eat and trying to pass that off as reaching protein goals. It wasn't. I mean it might have been, but it was also creating an unhealthy relationship with food. I realized this after a wave of relief hit me when I said fuck it to my protein goal for that day. So I made some adjustments and I could tell right away I feel better today. I still want to get more protein but I think it's just going to have to happen more organically than what I was doing. And hey, getting 100g of protein consistently isn't bad, especially when that's pretty much double what I have been getting.

Everything else is going fine, goal wise. I'm feeling impatient with my meds, but I know I have a game plan and I'm trying to trust the process. I am going to ask if my doctor can up my dose per Metformin pill so I can take fewer meds in a day, but I'll do that once I'm a bit lower on pills. I'm at 8 different pills/liquids/chewables with tge three Metformin doses and even dropping to 7 would be nice.

I'm getting better at the bodyweight circuit. Still having to take lots of breaks, but the breaks are fewer and shorter. I was taking 3-4 breaks per exercise, now it's 1-2. Once I can get through the whole thing without stopping, I'll add in the dumbbell rows or whatever, then once I'm used to that I'll work toward two sets. And so on.

Running is what it is. I'm thinking of registering for a 5k in May. I want to make sure I'm not jumping the gun, but I also want to bite the bullet in hopes it keeps me motivated. I'm not sure what to do here.

My weight has been steady at 203.8lbs, which as someone said holding steady during winter/holidays isn't awful. I still wish I was losing. I wish I was back in the city. I feel like it was so much easier then.

I found my road map for 2017. Once I'm at a laptop I'm going to update it with my progress and start to seriously think about my roadmap for 2018. I have ideas of what I want to do but I struggle with being realistic. One of the downfalls of being an overachiever as a kid and a grad student as an adult. I'm excited to get back into shape. I just don't want to put myself in a position where I end up resisting my progress. I am gonna sign up for the Academy, probably in January, or at least after December's paycheck hits.

So. We'll see where that gets me. I'm struggling but making progress. Not much more I can ask for right now.

 

ETA: 

 

[NeverThatBored]

53 minutes ago, Cataleya said:

And hey, getting 100g of protein consistently isn't bad, especially when that's pretty much double what I have been getting.

 

100g is super impressive. I honestly don't know how you do it! I could barely get the 75 I was aiming for when I was working on protein a while back!

 

54 minutes ago, Cataleya said:

Running is what it is. I'm thinking of registering for a 5k in May. I want to make sure I'm not jumping the gun, but I also want to bite the bullet in hopes it keeps me motivated. I'm not sure what to do here.

 

You should do it! Worst case, you just walk/run the thing.

 

55 minutes ago, Cataleya said:

I'm getting better at the bodyweight circuit. Still having to take lots of breaks, but the breaks are fewer and shorter. I was taking 3-4 breaks per exercise, now it's 1-2. Once I can get through the whole thing without stopping, I'll add in the dumbbell rows or whatever, then once I'm used to that I'll work toward two sets. And so on.

 

Awesome! 

[Sylvaa]

8 hours ago, Cataleya said:

I feel like where I'm at in life is just kind of a weird place. I got my PhD but I'm still a junior faculty member so it's hard to feel like that's an accomplishment, especially when you have coworkers treating you like you're stupid despite you probably being better trained than they are. (I'm not trying to brag or whatever, there's just some basic shit one of them gets wrong that I'm like how did you even get this job?)

 

So I'm going to play devil's advocate here (because I totally was in this same place). How vocal are you in your current position in regards to your abilities and confidence (the second one is the hardest!)? I was having issues with a coworker because I felt that she didn't respect me, because she was treating me like I was in a lower role (in my case, she was treating me like her analyst, but I doubt that's relevant to you). The thing is, in terms of career, she was only a promotion ahead of me. It is a hard place sometimes - particularly if there is an age difference between you and your coworkers. But don't let anyone discredit you for any reason! RAWR (okay, maybe I had too much coffee too).

 

Re tracking: I also don't get into a good headspace with MFP. I track occasionally, depending on how my clothes feel or how I feel my meals have gone. I'm at a point where I can tell if I need to start being more diligent and I'll track for a week or two, just to get back to where I should be. There isn't anything wrong with this at all. 

[Urgan]

9 hours ago, Cataleya said:

I found my road map for 2017. Once I'm at a laptop I'm going to update it with my progress and start to seriously think about my roadmap for 2018. I have ideas of what I want to do but I struggle with being realistic. One of the downfalls of being an overachiever as a kid and a grad student as an adult. I'm excited to get back into shape. I just don't want to put myself in a position where I end up resisting my progress. I am gonna sign up for the Academy, probably in January, or at least after December's paycheck hits.

 

We only have room for creating so many habits at once. My suggestion is to look at each of the goals you've been working on and evaluate which are still hard for you and which are now becoming easy enough that you do not have to make (as) conscious effort to hit them. At some point soon you should be able to free up a goal "slot" or two. It's definitely a balance between holding onto one goal too long and setting it into the wild too soon. My sleep goals are so like the latter. We try and sometimes there's error, but the great thing is you can always bring a goal back into the spotlight, right? It's not ever really one and done.

[Cataleya]

 
So I'm going to play devil's advocate here (because I totally was in this same place). How vocal are you in your current position in regards to your abilities and confidence (the second one is the hardest!)? I was having issues with a coworker because I felt that she didn't respect me, because she was treating me like I was in a lower role (in my case, she was treating me like her analyst, but I doubt that's relevant to you). The thing is, in terms of career, she was only a promotion ahead of me. It is a hard place sometimes - particularly if there is an age difference between you and your coworkers. But don't let anyone discredit you for any reason! RAWR (okay, maybe I had too much coffee too).
 
Re tracking: I also don't get into a good headspace with MFP. I track occasionally, depending on how my clothes feel or how I feel my meals have gone. I'm at a point where I can tell if I need to start being more diligent and I'll track for a week or two, just to get back to where I should be. There isn't anything wrong with this at all. 

When it comes to my intelligence and skill, I'm actually pretty confident and assertive, if not a bit idealistic in how things are supposed to be done. People usually learn pretty quickly not to demean me because I don't play those games and my sharp tongue has ruffled a few feathers in the past. (I only use it when others start it.)

This particular person actually questioned how much I'd like this job when I applied because I had so much research experience and it's a teaching-focused university. Now that I'm here of course he has apparently decided I know nothing about research despite the fact I'm likely getting published in a pretty high ranking journal alongside some really amazing people here soon. I want to note that this guy doesn't even really understand the difference between basic and applied research, which isn't a big deal... unless research is one of the three things you're evaluated on in your job. (Spoiler alert: it is.)

I think he's trying to play devil's advocate and highlight just how good his ~critical thinking skills~ are, but doesn't seem to understand that being a proper devil's advocate means your arguments should actually be good. This is one of the things I hate most about academics from certain training backgrounds: tearing people down doesn't make you a good scientist. It just makes you an asshole. And this is a guy who clearly just wants to get promoted and be an administrator (spoiler alert: he would be *horrible* at it, worse than me even). So I don't particularly care about his opinion but I do care that serving on committees and stuff is that much more difficult when you have someone like him around.

Re: MFP, I am still getting a lot out of, "Oh, I should maybe not eat Starbucks's baked goods because holy carbs Batman," and I am trying to keep myself in a place to remind myself these are only estimates. I think that's helping and I don't get into a spot where I end up like I was when I was on SparkPeople, looking up what low calorie foods could get me enough niacin and thiamine or some shit. But yeah, for those of us who like stats and/or organization, it can get ugly fast.