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Teros

Teros 39: [Hardcore Crusader]

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On 11/28/2017 at 4:31 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I'm assuming AngelFace and Angel are different. Angel and the way she relates to you sounds like she has some identity issues, some of the way she phrases things makes me wonder if she has some sort of Axis II/Cluster B diagnosis.

 

Oh yes, AngelFace and Angel are *Very* different people.

 

AngelFace= The New Project Manager for my Agency.  A blodn woman with thick black glasses, who vapes.  Her original nickname was 'BigFace' because of how large her eyes and lips are in proportion to her face (which isn't a *bad* thing. It's how she looks).  However, after recent weeks and our interactions and how supportive and grateful she is for me, her nickname has been upgraded.

 

Angel = a woman that I had feelings for a few months back.  We both mutually realized that we like each other, but not "in that way".  As for the issues and phrasing: she has bi-polar and borderline personality disorder.  She's incredibly funny and a sweet person, but she also has a temper that can flip on a dime and also lacks a serious amount of self-realization. She'll criticize other people for doing things that she is doing.  She also has no confidence in herself and needs constant reassurance that she's not a bad person because of her history of being treated horrible by her own family.  She's a mixed bag, but overall; I'm glad she's in my life and she's one of the few people that I haven't wanted to cut out.

 

On 11/28/2017 at 11:44 PM, GregT. said:

This is fantastic man.  I am very happy for you.  I brought this up in the past when you were really down with the internship and you have completely taken over.  Fantastic work my friend.  You have taken control of your destiny and by being a decisive and insightful person with natural leadership are making a real diffence in others peoples lives.  Now they are recognizing this and you have made a difference in your own.

 

Related image

 

On 11/28/2017 at 11:44 PM, GregT. said:

keeps it Spicy!

Image result for ainsley harriott spicy meat rub

 

 @Wolfen & @RES  Lol, I love it.

 

8 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

You are rocking this, Teros!  Reading your challenge here is inspiring me in a big way

 

Great to hear :)

 

12 minutes ago, DarK_RaideR said:

This topic needs moar crusader. Lucky for you, I got a 2 for the price of 1 deal

 

You're damn right it does.

 

---

I think I'm going to write about the past couple days and then go through my challenge goals.  Something huge happened on Thursday evening and I'm not ready to talk about it just yet.

 

November 28 / Tuesday /  Day 10 (Continued):

 

So I had that meeting with AngelFace and was near-euphoric the rest of the day.  I finished some internship hours and I didn't bother with going to my evening Outreach.  I'm stillclaiming that I'm sick but I *guess* I should start going back.  I didn't want to run into a potential client because I want to make contact withi them and help them *before* I see them on the street. I don't want to think that I'm neglecting them and forgot all about them.  I totally didn't so this is a delicate situation.  My plan is to contact them on next Monday, set up an appointment for next Tuesday, and I also will have my AngelFace meeting and a meeting with Kathy: the woman from another residency that hooked me up with a bunch of cooking supplies.  Kathy is going to work with me to get me connected to churches and donation centers so I can build up a pantry.

 

This evening I was supposed to see a movie with Angel.  We go once a month to see old terri-bad movies.  This evening it was:

 

Image result for blood rage movie

 

A short review:  It starts off with 2 identical twin brothers in a drive-in theater.  One of the brothers grabs an axe and then chops some guys fucking face for NO reason. 

 

Image result for blood rage movie

 

Then he smears some of the blood on his brother.  The two of them get admitted to a psych ward, and one of them gets out immediately afterwards, blaming the brother for the murder.

 

Fast-forward 10? 20? years and Brother #1 is free and living with his mom.  Brother #2 is still in the psych unit.  The mom goes to see Brother #2 and gives him, what looks to me, like a box filled with pureed butternut squash. He's not happy about this and throws it at the wall.  No one wants a cardboard box of squash for their birthday.  Seriously, if this was supposed to be  cake, it was the worst fucking cake ever.

 

Later that night, the mom says she's going to get engaged to some new dude.  Free Brother #1 isn't happy about this. Psycho sense tingling.  Then Brother #2 gets free from the asylum.  Why no one calls the cops EVER throughout this movie is never explained.  Here's the 'twist' if you want to call it that:

 

The locked up brother #2 is actually innocent, and the free brother #1 is the psycho murderer.  The rest of the movie follows:

 

Like 8 random friends (with no continuity or transition) need to stop the 'bad' brother, and trust the free/good brother.  Bad idea.  'Free' brother grabs a machete and cuts off the mom's new b/f's hand and butchers him.  Then he wanders around and chops up everyone else.  Meanwhile, pl are scared of 'bad' brother and run away from him while he tries to tell them that he's not bad or a murderer.  The movie ends with a brother fight and the free/psycho brother gets killed.

 

There were some gems in this movie.  For instance, how a woman was cut in half with a half-hearted machet swipe.  She was also 'put back together' by the non-psycho brother.  Her legs were made out of paper mache or something.

Image result for blood rage movie

 

He literally picks up the legs and moves them over.  The whole basement was laughing (these movies are hosted on a big projector in the basement of a brewery).

 

It's cringe-worthy at parts, funny at others because of the directors and actor's baffling choices and the low budget.  Worth checking out for a chuckle or if you're bored, but not worth paying to see.

 

Also: why the fuck did dudes in the 80s (it looks like it was 70s though and I can't explain how) all look like fucking feet?  Was that era just filled with Stump Chunkman toe-heads?

 

Related image
He's using a grill fork to check and make sure the teen is well done.
 
Anyways, Angel and I drive around for a bit afterwards and I tell her the news from earlier in the day.  I also tell her about how Little has been acting lately and that I don't want *more* from Little.
 
We get into a very long conversation about what love is and how it affects people.  
Related image

 

Her and I both have the same thoughts on the quality of Love.  We agree that there are 2 types of love:

 

-Love= Enjoying being with the person.  Caring about the person.  Wanting what's best for the person and being glad they are in your life.  Having a solid and grounded friendship and possibly even a little intimacy.
 
-IN Love= The above, but there is also the heavy romantic and lust aspect.  There is a bigger depth in how you feel about the person.  Wanting to grow old with them.  Not knowing how to be without them.  Feeling this intense connection and chemistry that is extremely extremely rare.  There is also only 1 at a time.  This is the person you choose over everyone else.  They are the one that matters the most and who you want to spend as much time with as possible.  It's a near-obsession that has passion and intensity.  While 'love' is calm, casual, and enjoyable, 'IN love' is a raging fire that doesn't go out.  It's the person you want to fall asleep next to, who you want to wake up next to, and there is no replacement for them.
Image result for go on living a little bit

 

 
 
Angel tells me about the only man that she was ever 'IN love' with: a delivery guy that would show up at her store back when she lived in New Jersey.  According to her, they locked eyes immediately and they were able to have long conversations.  Something about their personalities meshed and there was something more than the 'basic' love.  Eventually, the guy admitted that he was married and after a year or 2, moved to North Carolina with his wife.  She still can't get over him and has never felt that way before or after him.  He is the only guy she was ever "IN love" with.
 
I understand completely.  We talk about how we love each other, but that we're not IN love with each other.  This makes perfect sense to me: If Angel found someone to be with or disappeared from my life, I would feel bad for a bit but I would NOT be devastated and feel like an empty shell.
 
I tell Angel about my current situations with Little and JJ.  I tell her how I've been clear with them and told them I *merely* love them.  I'm not IN love with them.  I told both of these women that I've been IN love with a woman that has barely spoken to me for over 2 years now, and that I don't know what to do about it.  I told both of them that I feel broken inside and don't know if I can ever really be IN love with another person ever again: including them.  JJ and Little both know this because I said it all blunt and directly to their faces after about 2 months of knowing each of them.  Little told me that's how she feels about her old ex, Alex, and how she's a mess.  JJ understood but didn't have a similar situation.
 
After Angel tells me about her IN love person, I tell her the story of mine and how things feel apart, and how I feel like I've been in limbo ever since.  I bring up how I had a weird nightmare over a week ago about this person.  In the nightmare, they were telling me how they hated me and wanted nothing to do with me.  I woke up with tears in my eyes and in a cold sweat.  I admit to Angel that I don't know how to shake this feeling and how for years, this situation has been eating away at me.  I tell her that I just wish this woman would message me and tell me what the hell happened.  I also admit that I don't think that day will ever come, seeing as how I've been waiting this long so far.
 
Angel brings me back home.  She gets out of the car and we have a very long hug and she leaves.  I feel that since I can't sleep, I should post the next part of Bellmyst by about midnight.  I have trouble sleeping...again.  It feels like it's been at least 4 weeks by this point.
 
November 29 / Wednesday /  Day 11
 
Wake up and head to work. I have a mountain of homework that I need to get done.  Once I get home, Little started texting me, asking if we can hang out.  I tell her that I have an assessment paper that's worth almost 1/3 off my whole grade and it's due in 24 hours.  No chance.  I'm sorry.  This is a serious priority.  Little admits that she's 'being a brat' and selfish for wanting to see me all the time.  The rest of the day is uneventful, as I try to get through this painful paper.
 
--
 
I feel it's time to look at my challenge.
On 11/19/2017 at 3:51 PM, Teros said:

1) Purge the Body - I'm starting a whole30+.  I'm eating whole 30, with Thanksgiving/Krampus being the ONLY flexible days for me.  Everything else is 100%.

 

2) Purge the Mind - I'm purging things that distract me.

a.) I'm purging Facebook and not going on at all.

b.) I'm purging Youtube and not going on unless I need a link for goal #6.

 

3) TomeWork - A Crusader has trusty tomes of knowledge.  This is multiple parts to complete:

 

a.) (School) - Do my assessment paper

b.) (School) - Do my first process recording

c.) (School) - Do my second process recording

d.) (Intern) - Do my client trainings

e.) (Intern) - Organize paperwork

f.) (Intern) - Built resource list

g.) (Intern) - Start policy drafts

h.) (Personal) - Finish anatomy picture book

 

4) Temptations of the Flesh - Purging physical temptations.

a.) Purging any porn sites.

b.) Only 3 evenings per week with 'ladyfriends'.

 

5) My Hammer - My workouts.  I'm doing at least one of each:

a.) Sledgehammer

b.) Interval Jog

c.) MMA class

 

6) My Shield - I'm doing something creative at least once per week (besides this whole challenge idea).  This includes any of these (and what I would maybe need Youtube for):

a.) Bellmyst Campaign

b.) Painting

c.) Claywork

d.) Papermache

e.) Anything else creative that might come up

 

1) It was a rocky start and with all of the drama, I'm amazed I even handled this without getting into a spiral of junk food. I'm about to go food shopping because I actualyl ran out of vegetables.  I also *might* have taken the almond milk that JJ bought for me so I can start getting back into having protein shakes.

 

Related image

 

PROTEEEEEEEEEEEEIIN

 

2) I have not been on Facebook since last challenge.  That's a...idk...40+ day streak or something?  As for youtube, I've had some close calls but I downloaded that app to block it and it's helped tremendously.  I haven't gotten sucked into any 2+ hour youtube wormholes.

 

3) I've been working on all of my homework.  I'm going to Staples to get a bunch of manilla folders so I can have my entire sorting paper project done by the end of the day.  I'm ridiculously excited about this, because I've been living with my entire living room scattered with papers in smaller piles for almost 2 months.  I'll be able to VACUUM today.  Also, I finished that microscope anatomy book thing, and I re-rented my next read:  Encyclopedia of Symbols.  I'm about 1/3 done with it and my plan is to finish it within a week or so.

 

4) No porn.  And I think I've stuck with the # of lady hangouts.  Although....can I be honest with you about an upcoming lady hangout?

 

Like really honest with you?

 

I'm fucking nervous about next Thursday.  I was joking with a bunch of ladies in class (because it's literally me and the very effeminate guy, Evan- the other 16ish people in class are all 25 year old women).  It was brought up that next week, they want to go clubbing or to a bar after class and I was unanimously invited to go. Natasha, Shalissa, Sabrina, and Lori want to go drinking with me.  I'm assuming that Beth and Julia will want go as well.  It will be me and 6 tipsy, attractive, friendly, younger women next week.

Image result for fanning self gif

  If I'm over on interactions next week, I SO don't care...

 

I think that the fact I don't bother with any porn now seriously boosts my Eros/Libido.  I feel like I'm more charming, witty, and extroverted.  It feels like, because I'm not focusing on that energy on myself, I'm radiating it outwards.  I ended up getting Natasha's phone number last night and we were sending gifs during class.  I officially have texted with all 6 of these ladies.  According to Sabrina, she has only 2 women's numbers from class and she told me, "And I'm a lesbian!  I should have way more than you!" 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  However, Sabrina has Simone's number, which I do not have.

Image result for challenge accepted

 

 

5) Workouts.  I still have been sick, but it won't be an excuse anymore.  I'm going for a walk and doing my sledgehammer training TODAY.
 
6) Bellmyst.  Plus I'm going to do something fun on Saturday.  Maybe pics.
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I honestly needed a couple of days to process this and it still feel surreal to be honest.

 

November 29 / Wednesday /  Day 11(Continued)

 

I saw that I had a missing call.  It was from Bestie.  The Jay to my Silent Bob.  It had been weeks since we had last talked.  After the $-taking and facebook disappearance and no responding, I thought that was it: I thought our 26+ year friendship was over with.

 

I decide that I should call him back.  When I answer the phone, I ask what's going on.  I pretend like nothing happened and see how the conversation plans out.  He apologizes and says it's been a long frigging time.  He was out of money and he needed to shut off his phone to spare himself the phone bill.  He got laid off from his job, but after talking to someone in his class, he is supposed to get a phonecall to pick up new work.  Because of that, he begrudgingly had to turn his phone back on and wanted to check in with me.

 

He *has* sold all of his shit before in a desperate attempt to recoup some funds, so this doesn't seem like a load of shit.  However, the unfriending on facebook doesn't make any sense.  I table that question and keep talking with him.  After about an hour, I need to go.  I recently hopped back on Facebook just to see what the hell happened.

 

His account was shut off as well and because I quit Facebook, I didn't know it was reactivated.  I clicked on his name and it loaded just fine...

 

Talk about a mindfuck.  I thought he took the money and ran, and couldn't wrap my head around why he would do all this.  It's just a matter of two events in close proximity.  I feel a hell of a lot better.  I'm never letting him borrow money again though.  I had to pay an extra fee on my account because I dipped too low.

 

November 30 / Thursday /  Day 12

 

On 11/4/2017 at 2:04 PM, Teros said:

Lyn (the woman of my dreams) is someone that I can't help feeling like I *need* to be with (but she's still sending me barely one text a month).

 

To explain:  The night that I posted this challenge, while at my residency, I told my friend TJ about the woman I fell in love with and the whole 2 and a half years that I felt empty about it.  I told him how it never sat right with me.  I admit I...teared up a bit while I explained the story from start to finish.  This was the catalyst for mentioning this thing that has been eating away at me in my challenge when I wrote:

 

On 11/19/2017 at 3:51 PM, Teros said:

As time wore on, I started falling *hard* for a woman that I wanted to be with.  She is exactly what I wanted.  I got close to a couple other rare women that I developed feeling for as well but I didn't know what to *do* with these emotions.

 

I started to become complacent.  I was still losing weight, having lost a grand total of 120 pounds; but I still wasn't at my goal.  Work and school were draining me, and then I started an internship which pushed myself from passionate into apathy.  I felt myself falling, slowly, and I didn't know what to do.  I drifted away from NF more and more, as I felt like there was nothing to say, I beat myself up more, I started getting suicidally depressed, and after a year, I decided that I just needed someone to talk to.  I needed friends irl.  So I signed up on a dating website with no intention of being with anyone.  The woman that I had fallen in love with had her own demons to deal with and drifted further and further away.  There was nothing I could do to convince her that I want to be with her, through thick and thin, that I want to grow old with her, that I want to start a family with her, spend the rest of my life with her. She just....wasn't there.  I haven't given up on her yet.  I just can't.

This has been on my mind since a couple months after Project Phoenix, which was back in August 8th, 2014.  The following May is when *She* started to push away and disappear.  And it only got worse and worse as time went on.  I felt like I had no closure.

 

Then this happened:

 

On 11/24/2017 at 12:20 PM, Teros said:

November 24 / Friday /  Day 6: 

 

Had a nightmare early this morning while at JJ's place.  It was about the woman I'm in love with.  I had this nightmare about how she hated me for all of these reasons and I didn't understand.  Snapped awake in a cold sweat and a coughing fit.  I couldn't get back to sleep.

I sent a text to her, saying that I really wish I could talk to her about this.  No response.

 

 

Then:

On 12/1/2017 at 10:08 AM, Teros said:

November 28 / Tuesday /  Day 10 

-IN Love= The above, but there is also the heavy romantic and lust aspect.  There is a bigger depth in how you feel about the person.  Wanting to grow old with them.  Not knowing how to be without them.  Feeling this intense connection and chemistry that is extremely extremely rare.  There is also only 1 at a time.  This is the person you choose over everyone else.  They are the one that matters the most and who you want to spend as much time with as possible.  It's a near-obsession that has passion and intensity.  While 'love' is calm, casual, and enjoyable, 'IN love' is a raging fire that doesn't go out.  It's the person you want to fall asleep next to, who you want to wake up next to, and there is no replacement for them. 

+

I told both of these women that I've been IN love with a woman that has barely spoken to me for over 2 years now, and that I don't know what to do about it.  I told both of them that I feel broken inside and don't know if I can ever really be IN love with another person ever again: including them. 
+
After Angel tells me about her IN love person, I tell her the story of mine and how things feel apart, and how I feel like I've been in limbo ever since.  I bring up how I had a weird nightmare over a week ago about this person.  In the nightmare, they were telling me how they hated me and wanted nothing to do with me.  I woke up with tears in my eyes and in a cold sweat.  I admit to Angel that I don't know how to shake this feeling and how for years, this situation has been eating away at me.  I tell her that I just wish this woman would message me and tell me what the hell happened.  I also admit that I don't think that day will ever come, seeing as how I've been waiting this long so far.

on Thursday, November 30th, 2017, at 12:12...she responded.

 

 

I won't got into huge detail because it's her story and it's personal, but I can say some of what happened...

 

Around May, she was supposed to come up and see me.  She was doing crossfit and injured her knee.  She didn't want me to see her like that.  Spiraled into a depression.  Shortly after the knee surgery, the diagnosis....she had cancer, chemo, surgery, and had a mental breakdown.  How she explained it to me, was that she wasn't sure if she was going to live to the end of the year.  She said she didn't know how to handle emotions and shut down.  She started traveling the world as an escape.  And she apologized for treating me the way she did.  She said she never hated me and wanted to make sure I knew that.

 

I text-replied and told her to please talk to me.  She was at the doctor's office.  I didn't care.  We talked on the phone for about 20 minutes.  I told her how I felt lost and empty for so long.  She felt the same.  Neither of us know what the hell to do at this point.  I know how I feel about her still but she hasn't socialized with anyone during this whole process besides medical staff and I'm the first person she's talked to since this landslide.  There are no promises of what the future holds and there's a lot of confusion and emotions that need to be sorted out on her part.  I said that as long as she keeps the channels of communication open and is honest, we can get through this.  Baby steps.

 

I feel like a crooked painting has been fixed.  A long-time wrong has been righted.  Words can't describe how this makes me feel.  It's like a huge burden that has been crushing me has been lifted.  It's like I've been holding my breath for years and I can finally exhale.  The mental exhaustion....this nagging and raw soreness in my heart...it's finally gone. 

 

This has been the most insane month of my life, next to me starting Project Phoenix all those years ago.  Ready?

 

November 1

-Started Bellmyst Story at midnight.

-Alpert Medical Center of Brown University

 

November 2 

-Connecting with my teacher about my Bestie having disappeared

-Lots of attention in class because of my cookie-making skills and that internship proposal for next year at a school

 

November 3

- Neighborhood Watch Meeting where I get praised by the co-head of my agency (Laura) and I also save the agency's' face by becoming friendly with both heads of the Watch.

 

November 4/5

 -Beat a Spartan Race and cut my hair and beard down

 

November 6

-Chocolate milk debacle

 

November 7 

-The Resident dies

-My monthly reflection rant

 

November 8

-Connection with church/made cookies

 

November 9

-Massive teacher praise

-Severe allergic reaction where I thought I was going to die and I can't breathe

 

November 10

-Resident Evil Recapping

 

November 11/12

-Septum gauge piercing started/finished

-Hair dye

 

November 13

-Resident funeral

-Day Case Manager telling my Project Lead to hire me

 

November 14

-Medical Insurance Scare

-E.R.

-Septum Infection

-Eye Infection

 

November 15 

-Throat Infection

 

November 16

-Learning Contract Panic

 

November 17

-Learning Contract Meeting where I swear and have an eyepatch, but it goes fucking fantastic

 

November 18

-Septum piercing infection makes me have a nosebleed the same color as buffalo sauce

 

November 19

-New challenge

-Signed up for another Spartan Race

 

November 20/21

-Finally healed eye and septum piercing

 

November 22

-Mad Max

 

November 23

-Three Thanksgivings: residency, my own, met JJ's family

 

November 24

-The nightmare

-Candy Vodka Time

-the BDSM beating

-Little professes love

 

November 25

-'Kidney Pea'

 

November 26

-BDSM of Little

 

November 27

-JJ Birthday

-Master Gardeners

 

November 28

-Job Offer from internship

-Little writes me a lovesong

 

November 29

-Bestie back

 

November 30

-The woman of my dreams for years came back

 

And during all of this, I managed to:

-Interval Jog

-Handle Work

-Handle School

-Handle Internship

-Connect with another Agency

-Youtube Purge

-Facebook Purge

-Porn Purge

 

What....The....Fuck....

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Dude,

 

  glad you are able to look back and see just how amazing this has been for you.  I am loving your posts like the next installment of a book series!  You are beasting this shit out of this.  I am inspired and I know you are inspiring others on the forum, and IRL.   Keep it up.  It is good to hear your bestie is alright and didn't just bail on you.  As for your Love, glad you are getting some form of contact.  Cancer is a bitch, I have first hand experience losing someone close if you need to chat send me a message.

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9 hours ago, Teros said:

I feel like a crooked painting has been fixed.  A long-time wrong has been righted.  Words can't describe how this makes me feel.  It's like a huge burden that has been crushing me has been lifted.  It's like I've been holding my breath for years and I can finally exhale.  The mental exhaustion....this nagging and raw soreness in my heart...it's finally gone. 

I had to take a break as I was reading through this because I was starting get a little teary.  I am so happy for you, it looks like all of the work you have been putting into your life over the last few months has been coming back to you many fold.  

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I just read through your thread and I'm beyond awed and inspired. You're an amazing person and I'm really happy for you.

 

(Also I reckon you'd be awesome at writing smut ;))

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1 hour ago, Mad Hatter said:

Also I reckon you'd be awesome at writing smut

 

You mean insightful articles about mature subjects for the thoughtful and broad minded reader?  I bet he would be good at that.

 

 

Edited by GregT.
oops used thoughtful instead of insightful
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3 minutes ago, GregT. said:

You mean thoughtful articles about mature subjects for the thoughtful and broad minded reader?  I bet he would be good at that.

Sure.

And also filthy smut. :D 

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I'm not sure what to say about that; It is a bittersweet chapter to the story. Best of luck to your lady love. I hope things go better than expected. You never know... one of my coworkers beat pancreatic cancer, which we heard was supposed to be almost impossible. Sometimes miracles happen.  But at least you have this new opportunity to be friends again and give her support...  what a good thing for you both. 

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Congrats on powering through such an insane month. So glad to hear you have been able to reconnect with both your Bestie and Lyn and finally get some answers.

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On 12/6/2017 at 11:29 PM, GregT. said:

I am loving your posts like the next installment of a book series!

 

I seriously hope things in December are *calm*.

 

On 12/6/2017 at 11:40 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

That's one hell of a month.

 

Indeedy doodle. :apple:  I just felt like using the apple emoji because who the fuck uses the APPLE emoji?

 

On 12/7/2017 at 1:40 AM, WhiteGhost said:

I had to take a break as I was reading through this because I was starting get a little teary.  I am so happy for you, it looks like all of the work you have been putting into your life over the last few months has been coming back to you many fold. 

 

Thanks a lot.  And that's why it took me a few days before I wrote again. I really needed to hash all of the emotions that I ran through.

 

On 12/7/2017 at 5:48 AM, Mad Hatter said:

I just read through your thread and I'm beyond awed and inspired. You're an amazing person and I'm really happy for you.

 

(Also I reckon you'd be awesome at writing smut ;))

 

Awww thanks. :) 

 

I think she's referencing the BDSM post, @GregT. but yes, I agree with both.

 

So... regarding the 'smut' comment.

Story Time

 

Years ago when I was with my ex, I noticed she used to read those god-awful "books"

 

Image result for dr evil quote

 

She was a fan.  I told her that they were boring as hell after I had read a couple pages, and that she read through them so fast, I doubted she even *remembered* any of them.  She said I was saying that just to piss her off.  I asked her to summarize the previous book that she finished only a week ago. 

 

Blank Stare.

 

I motioned and went, 'See!?  You don't need any talent to write these kinds of books because it's the same recycled crap over and over.'

 

I was then called an asshole and she said, "You can't do any better".

Related image

 

Image result for challenge accepted

 

 

I stood in the doorway for a minute, grimacing.  Then I began...

 

I told her a story about a guy that picked up a woman who was running out of her wedding in the rain.  I went into detail about the guy, the tattoo on his upper arm, the bride, the truck, and I then jumped 12 chapters ahead and told my ex about how he got the tattoo and the name of the book ('Thirteen').  I explained a murder and the secret that a doctor kept which the bride eventually found out about (because she's a nurse and tracked down the doctor). I kept talking for about 15 minutes while I detailed all of these things.  My ex sat there, leaning forward.  She asked me, "Well what then?  Did they end up together?"  and I told her, "*pfffft* I'm not telling you."  She then, literally, begged for me to write this book.  I still remember her words: "I would read the shit outta that." 

 

I refused.

 

So I told her that her books are trash, she wanted me to prove I could do better, I did in 15 minutes just to prove a point, then out of spite, refused to write the actual book so she could never read it and find out how the story I just invented ended.

 

I still know exactly how that book would be written, by the way.  I have an entire romance novel that is in my head, start to finish, that I never wrote: complete with all the long, slow, dirty details.  I wanted an engaging story that the romance could be hung on.

 

On 12/7/2017 at 8:07 AM, DarK_RaideR said:

Closure is the key word. Really happy to read about both your bestie and Dreamwoman. Looks like it'll be a happy Krampus time.

 

It will be.  Oh yes, it will be. :) 

 

On 12/7/2017 at 8:19 AM, CallunaTook said:

Sometimes miracles happen.  But at least you have this new opportunity to be friends again and give her support...  what a good thing for you both. 

 

Every time I think about it, I'm so happy that she is back in my life.  Again, words escape me in how I can convey this.

 

16 hours ago, RES said:

Happy for you!

 

*hugz* ;)

 

4 hours ago, StarlordPhoenix said:

Congrats on powering through such an insane month. So glad to hear you have been able to reconnect with both your Bestie and Lyn and finally get some answers.

 

And now, to move forward.

 

I think I'm not going to count days anymore.  I think I'm going to restart a *countdown* in a bit.

 

December 1st, Friday:

 

After my conversation with Lyn, I needed to decompress emotionally.  I decided a few days earlier that it was time to get some new dang clothes.  I'm supposed to get new clothes delivered on Wednesday, December 6th.  I think to myself, "Now would be a GREAT day to go for a long walk and do my sledgehammer workout!"  I grab my phone, my iRiver, and head out for a walk.  Fuck yeah.

 

Related image

 

iRiver: the thing that has lasted about 5 years LONGER than my piece of shit ipod.  I love this little gadget.  For one, it's durable.  Also, it fits a single AA battery instead of a million fucking chargers that always get fucked up.  It's also funky-fresh looking.  I got this back in the day when some of my favorite songs were Rap SuperStar, Adeema,  and I Wish.  Obviously, my taste in music is perfectly honed and timeless.

 

 

 

  

 

Funfact: The lead singer of Adeema is related to the lead singer of Korn.  You can kind of tell in the voice. 

 

As I'm getting my mutha-fuckin groove on, I check my phone.  It's from Beth, asking me where I am.  Uh oh, why?  I ask and continue walking.

 

"Because the meeting started."

 

Ohhhhh no.  Stupid Jerry said in the group message that he was going to be there at 3pm.  In my brain, that stuck and I thought the meeting was at 3.  I now have to speed-walk a half a mile home and then put on different clothes and race to the meeting.  We all decided to meet (last week) at the coffee shop for our meetings instead of the Agency HQ because screw dealing with the traffic and all the cars in this state that don't know how road ROTARIES work.

 

With Jerry not being there, that means that if I rush, it will be two solid hours of time with Beth and AngelFace.  Ahh AngelFace...

 

 

My new supervisor is quickly becoming one of my favorite people.  Every time I meet with her, we click.  It's refreshing to be with someone on the same page as me, that always appreciates me, and in fact, listens to what my concerns are.  I finally get home and grab all of my art stuff.  My plan in this meeting was to show the various things I've done so far creatively and my plans for the future with the residents.

 

I show up only a little late and apologize about the mix-up.  Beth and AngelFace are amazed and what I brought with me:

-A clay pumpkin

-A clay skull

-A clay maskk

-An abstract painting and poem

-Miniature tree

-Miniature hut

-Miniature church

-Miniature trebuchet

 

I go into detail about what I made and how I did it.  "Oh my God, these are amazing!" AngelFace says.  Beth is less impressed because she saw all of this a couple weeks ago when I brought it into class and that other girl told me about a possible art teacher internship.

 

We have a strategy:  the stress class I suggested, Beth is going to facilitate and I will co-facilitate it because I have 0 experience doing that.  Beth will teach this on the 13th.  Then AngelFace looks at me and says, "We can start that week, right?"  She wants me to start teaching art therapy in like 3 weeks.

 

Image result for seal face

  

Oh wait, what? Already?

 

AngelFace tells me that I can come up with budget proposals and she will get the resources all taken care of.  I suggest that I start art therapy AFTER Beth does the stress class.  My plan is to have us talk about healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms with stress and that can lead into my art therapy the following Tuesday.  It's agreed: great success.

 

Image result for great success

 

Also we talked about the agency paying me back for the food that I've bought for the Sunday dinners.  I need to fill out a form and I'll all set.  I also joke with Beth and AngelFace that, because there is a start date for my art therapy, that I should make an Advent calendar.  AngelFace smiles and goes, "Can you do that please!?"  Ohh Angelface... :redface:  ...ok.  I will also be baking sugar cookies in about a week because we're going to have a Krampus Christmas party with the residents and we're going to decorate the cookies and the tree.

 

After the 2ish hours of us all bantering, Jerry shows up.

 

Fucking Jerry.

 

Ugh.

 

UGH!  JERRY!

 

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With his weird perfectly parted hair, tiny little mustache and soul patch, ill-fitting pants, Brak-sounding voice, and oblivious non-self-awareness.  Ugh....Jerry.

 

AngelFace wants to know what Jerry would like to do.  "Oh ehh-heuah, I don't know. I mean the food stuff looks good..."

 

Don't. You. Fucking. DARE. Touch. My. Cooking. Project.

 

Beth suggests that he do a 'movie night'.  I then chime in about how that's a *way* better idea since I have all the cooking stuff covered and I tell him that he can rent tons of movies from the library for free.  This appeases the-mustachioed-one.  "Yeah--ehh-heuah yeah, that works.  People like movies and stuff."

 

Yeah Jerry. Yes they do.  Why the fuck do you keep kicking me under the table?  Do you now know how FEET work?

 

AngelFace then tells us all about a person that is getting into the house: a friend of one of the residents who is not supposed to be on the premises.  Jerry chimes, "Oh what's he like? Black or...?"  AngelFace confirms. Jerry replies, "Ohhh ok, he seems like a nice guy" and nods like a bobble-head.

 

Jerry...

 

...JERRY

 

You were talking to this person in the house and you didn't know what his name was?  Don't you think a STRANGER in a house that you never saw before that has homeless people and has drug-dealer connections, that maybe you should say something to someone at some point, instead of thinking this is a 'nice guy' standing in the hallway?  Jerry?  JERRY!?  JERRY!?

 

*sigh*

 

Whatever.  We convince Jerry that he can watch movies and that shuts him up.  AngelFace has one last piece of good news: the agency has been approved for a grant to get a bunch of money to grow that garden.  We are getting those sunlight lamps so we can grow the seedlings in the basement.  I jest about how the crops are just the beginning.  We'll have a whiskey distillery, grow pot, and then we'll move up to cooking meth.  We agree that a certain resident would be the perfect Jessie Pinkman to me being Heisenberg.

 

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Laughing, Beth says, "If you can't have a dark sense of humor about this place, it'll eat you up.  So we're getting weed lamps.  Sweet!"

 

Jerry then replies, "Oh we aren't doing that.  Those are those special lamps, right?  Those are the vitamin E lamps. We can call them that."

 

To which I mutter under my breath, "Vitamin p-o-t lamps..."  AngelFace smiles and calls out my name and my eyes widen.  Beth, AngelFace, and myself are all laughing about it.

 

Does that little exchange sum up AngelFace, Beth, Jerry, and myself?  I hope it does.

 

--

 

Little messages me.  She had a panic attack and had to leave work.  She was officially written up for missing the parent-teacher conference from a week ago.  She tells me that she's going to be very lonely and a mess.  I tell her that I have a few things for homework that I have to do, but I can make time for her tonight IF we don't hang out on Sunday.  I'm prioritizing.  She says that is fine.  I also ask her if she wants to make an Advent calendar with me.  I head over with some art supplies: posterboard, glitter pen, and markers.  She has construction paper at her place.  After some fooling around with Little, the design:

advent.jpg

 

 You can see how they are like small double-doors to open up.  I put each of the days.  The bottom doors open for my art therapy class: December 19th.

 

December 2nd, Saturday:

 

I head to the residency to tack the calendar on the cork board.  As soon as I show up, SadResident is outside.  He looks worried and he asks me if I can help him out.  I say that as soon as I tack this to the wall, I can see about what's going on.  He thanks me and tells me about how he forgot all of his stuff on the bus- including his bus pass.  And he needs to get to the methadone clinic for his treatment this morning.  He has no way to get there.  I decide to bring him.  I now know where the local clinic is.  Took about 20 minutes.  He tells me in the car about how he's not the 'typical homeless'.  He admits that he wants to get a job and not be on the governement money, but that he's terrified after his past.  He's also sick of getting the treatments but he knows that it takes a long time to recover from his addiction.  We have some heart to heart conversation, he gets treatment, and I bring him back.  He thanks me a million times and I tell him that it's no problem: I just didn't think I was going to see anyone this morning because I'm not technically on the clock. 

 

His eyes widen, thanks me even more, and brings up how AngelFace should have hired me *already*.  I chuckle and tell him about the art therapy stuff.  He's even more impressed and wants to do the first project: A paper mache gingerbread house.

 

As we go inside, the Older Resident is yelling out in the living room: her heat isn't working.  SadResident and myself check it out, tinker around, and go back to the kitchen.  Older Resident sees the calendar.  Bitter-faced, she goes, 'What is THIS!?'  I tell her, "Oh, I made that.  It's for an art project with the residents around here.  I'm going to start doing art with all of you."

 

Her face changes instantly from angry scowl into chipper happiness.  "OH YOU MADE THIS!?" she cries out.  It was so fucking adorable that I laughed out loud.  Older Resident says, "This is one of those Advent things?  Aren't there supposed to be treat inside the doors?"  I tell her, "Yeah, but there's no way to logistically put a bunch of alcohol nips in the doors."  Sad and Older Resident bust out laughing at that.  We're talking a bit more and then I tell them both that I have to go: I thought I was just going to sneak in and tack up the calendar.

 

I had to move fast becaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaause it's CRAFT TIME.

 

I saw at the library that there was a Gingerbread House Decorating Competition at the local art store.

 

Image result for you serious bro

 

I was excited to do this.  I asked Sabrina to go but because she's overwhelmed with school, she couldn't make it.  That's fine, I'll go with someone else.  I ended up going with JJ.  We are driving there and there's a bunch of fucktards in the road, yelling at cars and swinging wreaths around.  I don't understand this.  There was no 'wreath-making competition'. Whatever.  We park at the bank and cross the street.  We go in and it's SWAMPED....

 

...with kids.

 

Goddamn it.  I see lots of parents trying to calm down their snotty kids who are yelling and eating all the fucking vanilla frosting.  We go up to the desk and say we are here for the decorating competition.  A woman is a little surprised, but hands us our tiny house.  We head downstairs and see the small containers with some mini marshmallows and other pieces.  Not much to work with.  I start off saying that we need to frost EVERYTHING.  We do a coat of vanilla frosting and then it's a mutual decision to put a bunch of mini marshmallows along the walls to simulate accumulating snow.  After picking around with some m&ms, JJ says that there's a lot of noise coming from a side room.  Maybe there's more candy to use over there.  We relocate and hit the jackpot:  the clay-spinning room is now a candy pickup.  Buckets, and I mean BUCKETS of Twizzlers, pretzels, m&ms, peppermints, mini candy canes, cereal, and more.  All we do is grab a ladle and fill up out own container.  I have more creative control!  Fuck yes!

 

We sit down and I see a couple of 8-year old girls that are working on one house and barking orders at each other like a well-oiled machine....

 

Related image

 

...These motherfuckers are going down.

 

I already know my idea for the look: Twizzler gutters, alternating m&ms-shingled room, peppermint windows, pretzel framing, and mini candycane doorway.  It's going to look SICK.  8-year-olds, prepare to have your dreams crushed.  JJ adds the touch of having tootsie rolls on the sides of the peppermint windows.  I eye that group at the adjacent table.  I decide that I'm going to grab a bunch of lifesaver wintermints.  I fill each mint with frosting and stack them up like a tower.  I put a pretzel rod through the lifesaver middle hole and then top it with a yellow skittle.  Then two yellow skittles on the front of the house.  A pretzel square back window just to change it up a bit.  Success.  Prepare for perfection:

 

gingerbread.jpg 

 

  We finish and then go upstairs.  There is a room with an arrow pointing to 'Judges'.  There's two people in front of us and a bunch of 30/40-year old women that are saying nice LIES like, "Oh that looks very pretty."

 

No it doesn't.  That looks like crap.

 

The girl in front of us had a fucking square pretzel placed diagonally on the top of the roof and smatterings of pretzels and frosting.  The judge says, 'Oh you could be an architect!' in a chipper voice.

 

Image result for grumpy cat

 

I lean over to JJ and tell her,  "If she's an architect, we're all gonna die."  JJ replies, "Maybe it's abstract art."  I counter, "No one would live in that shithole of a house."  She tries to stifle her laughter.

 

We're up for the judging.  The women look surprised that a chubby man in his 30s has a gingerbread house, but FUCK THEM.  I was not aware this was a kid's competition.  The woman points to the other judges and says, "They will look at it."

 

The other two women say, "Well *ahem* tell us about your house."

 

I then sell them on this house by saying, "Well I didn't want to go flashy or loud.  This is all about dependability. Sturdy.  This is the kind of house that a gingerbread grandma would love to live in.  See the yellow lights on the front?  That's for security.  No intruders around here. And this tower here?  See how it has a light too?  That's a flood light to show the side and back yard.  All about safety here.  Also, you can see how big the candy cane doorway is.  That's for handicapable accessibility.  This house is for someone that has LifeAlert."

 

 

The women were biting their lips to hold back smiling but burst into laughter when I mentioned LifeAlert.  They said they loved it and I saw the woman with the paper lift up her scorecard and circle '48' out of '50'.

 

Take that, 'architect'.  I'll get a call if I win, but they probably thought that they should inspire someone else who needs the morale boost, instead of giving it to someone who obviously deserves it.  It's fine, I know I won.

 

December 3rd, Sunday:

 

Little messages me, asking where I am.  I tell her that we agreed I spent Friday night with her because of her panic attack and that I had to get homework done in the morning and cooking at the internship in the evening.  She totally forgot. Probably because she was so high on Friday.  That girl abuses way too much stuff.

 

The morning was spent doing my process recordings.  Then, at 3pm, I talked to Lyn for an hour.  It's so good to hear her voice.  It feels like something is singing inside me when we talk, even if it's just about some art projects and regular stuff.  I do food shopping and head to the residency right after.   We made burgers, tater tots, and coleslaw.  I had people shred up carrots and cabbage as I had tots baking and I was frying burgers.  About half the house showed up, which is better than last week.  After the Young Resident died, I've had to start from scratch with the household's participation.  It will get back to it's glory days.  It will just take some time.  I spoke with New Resident for a bit (he is living in the room that Young Resident passed in).

 

December 4th, Monday:

 

Went to work and then I had one of my last classes.  As I was doing homework, Sabrina messages me and asks me about handing the papers in.  She, for some reason, didn't think that we were supposed to. I tell her that I'm handing mine in and I don't know why she thought otherwise. 

 

Well, Sabrina heard from Simone that we didn't need to.  And Simone claims that *I* said that.  Nope.  Confusion here! I never said that to Simone.  I clear this up with Sabrina.  I get to class a little early and talk to Sabrina in person.  Then Simone shows up early as well.  We talk back and forth.  Apparently the person next to me said that crap about handing in the paper.

 

I realize something in this confusion.

 

I hand my phone to Simone and say, "Here, that way this situation doesn't happen again..."  Sabrina bites her lip, tilts her head, and looks at me.  I can *feel* her look.  I try SO HARD to not smirk...

 

On 12/1/2017 at 10:08 AM, Teros said:

I officially have texted with all 6 of these ladies.  According to Sabrina, she has only 2 women's numbers from class and she told me, "And I'm a lesbian!  I should have way more than you!" 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  However, Sabrina has Simone's number, which I do not have.

Image result for challenge accepted

 

*ahem*  I am smirking now.

 

In this Monday-Night-Class, there is only one woman that I know and think is a cool person, but who is not also in my Thursday-Night-Class.  Her name is Cynthia.  We actually were in a creative writing class for our associates degrees years and years ago.  I never got to be friends with her because there was a certain ex-g/f that was in the class with me and honestly, how do I go about asking for a woman's number in front of my then-g/f without it seeming suspicious?

 

We have class and Cynthia brings up how she's going through a rough time and that she needs self-care.  I decide after class to talk to her.  Got her number as well.

 

Can I just say that I TOTALLY understand pokemon now?

Image result for catch em catch em gotta catch em all lyrics

 

December 5th, Tuesday:

 

With that homework out of the way and this being my internship day, I decide that it's time to do some serious cleaning.  I finally deal with the massive amount of papers that have been on my floor for months. Literally MONTHS I have had stacks of papers that I didn't know what to do with.  I sorted and filed away everything.  Oh, did I mention that a few weeks ago, JJ acquired a new building (she works with property management) and there was a small 2-drawer file cabinent that I could have for free?  Well that happened! All of my internship, classwork, residency, medical, insurance, and case notes are now all in manila folders and filed away in those hanging colored folders.  It feels so good to be organized now.

Related image

 

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4 hours ago, Teros said:

Indeedy doodle. :apple:  I just felt like using the apple emoji because who the fuck uses the APPLE emoji?

 

PEOPLE WHO FEAR DOCTORS. 

 

4 hours ago, Teros said:

out of spite, refused to write the actual book so she could never read it and find out how the story I just invented ended.

 

giphy.gif

 

4 hours ago, Teros said:

And he needs to get to the methadone clinic for his treatment this morning.  He has no way to get there.  I decide to bring him.

 

This was a solid thing to do -- both him for admitting he needed help and you providing it. 

 

I love how long these posts are. BUT HOW DOES THE WEEK END? WILL YOU LEAVE US IN SUSPENSE? 

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5 hours ago, Teros said:

I think she's referencing the BDSM post, @GregT. but yes, I agree with both.

 

 I am sure she is.  I was trying to quote a line by Danny Colman and Jerry in 1987's Dragnet with tom Hanks and Dan Akyroid when Friday ( Akyroid) Calls the magazine Jerry ( Danny Coleman) prints.  He is supposed to be Hugh Hefner, and makes the comment I did.  I tried to find a clip but was unsuccessful.  I do think you would do well writing that sort of thing.  It is a money maker as well btw. It is a new era with self publishing for Kindle.

 

   It is great to hear that you CRUSHED the kiddies in the Ginger Bread House Challenge!  It sounds like you had a good time with JJ and some much needed relaxation.

 

I am a little jealous of you for finding a calling and not only following it but excelling at it.  You are doing great work Teros.  BTW, How is the rest of the challenge going so far?

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17 hours ago, Teros said:

I then sell them on this house by saying, "Well I didn't want to go flashy or loud.  This is all about dependability. Sturdy.  This is the kind of house that a gingerbread grandma would love to live in.  See the yellow lights on the front?  That's for security.  No intruders around here. And this tower here?  See how it has a light too?  That's a flood light to show the side and back yard.  All about safety here.  Also, you can see how big the candy cane doorway is.  That's for handicapable accessibility.  This house is for someone that has LifeAlert."

If I was the judge you would have won just for this :D 

 

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On 12/8/2017 at 8:44 PM, Super Starling! said:

PEOPLE WHO FEAR DOCTORS. 

 

What about people that hate doctors and don't trust most of them?  :watermelon:

 

On 12/8/2017 at 8:44 PM, Super Starling! said:

giphy.gif

Image result for it was me, austin

  

On 12/8/2017 at 8:44 PM, Super Starling! said:

This was a solid thing to do -- both him for admitting he needed help and you providing it. 

 

I love how long these posts are. BUT HOW DOES THE WEEK END? WILL YOU LEAVE US IN SUSPENSE? 

 

I think that I have really good rapport with him in a short time, which is helpful.

 

Posting now.

 

On 12/8/2017 at 10:38 PM, GregT. said:

quote a line by Danny Colman and Jerry in 1987's Dragnet

 

Ohhhhhhhhhh yeah that went way over my head.

 

On 12/8/2017 at 10:38 PM, GregT. said:

 It is great to hear that you CRUSHED the kiddies in the Ginger Bread House Challenge!  It sounds like you had a good time with JJ and some much needed relaxation.

 

Image result for punching kids

 

On 12/8/2017 at 10:38 PM, GregT. said:

I am a little jealous of you for finding a calling and not only following it but excelling at it.  You are doing great work Teros.  BTW, How is the rest of the challenge going so far?

 

Incoming update of goals.

 

On 12/9/2017 at 9:46 AM, WhiteGhost said:

If I was the judge you would have won just for this

 

Never got a call back but like I said, I'm assuming they wanted to 'inspire' someone else.

 

December 6th, Wednesday:

 

Today. 

 

This fucking day.

 

I hate December 6th. It was my ex's anniversary.  It's like a dark cloud that hangs over me.  It reminds me of all the wasted years on a person that didn't give a shit about me.  It's a somber feeling that I have as I go into work - the same work that both of us were at for years and years.  My plan later today is to spend time making treats with JJ.

 

As I'm sorting through my list of possible item rotations, I decided to work on the 'nutrition' section of the store.  I head over there and after a couple of hours, a brand new employee shows up to put medications on the shelf.  She's about my age, maybe a little younger, Hispanic, and very pretty.

 

We have a conversation that lasts a solid two hours while we are both working.  We both talk about school: she's getting a business degree through work because they pay part of the tuition so you can become middle-management. She had a degree in the IT field, but never was able to get anywhere with it.  I tell her about Katherine Gibbs and what a shit school they were, as well as my current degree.  We also talk about kids, dating, and weightloss.  She wants to learn how to box.  I told her the story of 'D', the woman who had the manic episode that I had to call the cops on and brought to a mental hospital for her breakdown.  After detailing all of that, this new employee says, "Yeah that's why I don't wanna do the online dating thing.  I'm much more traditional: I want the guy to ask me out.  But honestly, I think I need to lose 20 pounds because no one wants to be with me."

 

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Ok, she's not even overweight.  She's got slightly wider hips. I know that in mainstream culture, it's all about being rail thin and having the thigh gap, but I don't get it.  I would feel like I was going to BREAK a woman that's skinny.  I like my women like I like my milkshakes:
 
 
 She goes on to tell me that when she was 20 pounds lighter, she used to get hit on all the time; and there was one time when a girl desperately wanted to dance with her.
 
You know how a few posts ago I wrote about no porn and how:
 
On 12/1/2017 at 10:08 AM, Teros said:

I feel like I'm more charming, witty, and extroverted.  It feels like, because I'm not focusing on that energy on myself, I'm radiating it outwards. 

 

I had a conversation in my head that went like this:

 

 

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Me: She said she wants 'traditional' so is that her saying *I* should take the initiative and ask her out?

 

Also Me:  But you don't know her that well.  This is literally the first time you saw her.

 

Me: Right but like....shouldn't I strike while the iron is hot and say something?  We've been having a good conversation.  For god's sake, she said she was *proud* of me.

 

Also Me: Aren't you already dealing with enough people?

 

Me: Well....I mean...I can ask so I can build girl-asking-out experience.

 

Also Me:  And what happens if she shoots you down?  Won't that make things are work weird?

 

Me: True, maybe.  But I also have that *new* job that AngelFace said I will have guaranteed. If things go sour, then it will only be a little weird for a little bit.

 

Also Me: How are you going to ask her out when you don't even know her name?

 

Me: Ok, so I'll ask her name *right now* and then the next sentence, I'll ask her out.

 

Also Me: Do you honestly think that will work?

 

Me: ....I'm gonna try.

 

Me: So hey, what's your name anyway?
 
Lesly: I'm Lesly.  How about you?
 
Me: Mike.  It was nice meeting you.  I'm curios...would it be forward of me if I said I wanted to see you outside of work sometime?
 
Lesly: Not at all.
 
*hands phone over*
*puts in her number*
 
Lesly: Just send me a text *giggle*  It was nice meeting you.
Image result for how?!
 
I'm serious!  How is this working?  How does this KEEP working?  I swear to fuck, I'm taking a vow of porn celibacy if this is the result!
 
After work, it's time to make some treeeeeats.  For Halloween, I made cookies that all the ladies in class loved - to the point that they were joking about what I was making next.  Obviously, with Krampus Time right around the corner, I needed to have something for my last class of the term.
 
I head over the JJ's place and we start cooking.  We make two things that I have planned out: 
 
1) Dark Chocolate Cherry Biscotti Bites -aka- Little blocks of square 'coal' that I'll be giving people bags of when class starts.
 
2) Candy cane crushed chocolate dipped marshmallows - FunFact: I made these a couple years ago with no inspiration, as a thing to bring to a blind date that my Bestie brought me to.  That's when I met Brittney, the 'aggressive' disaster.
 
Here's the candy cane shmellows:
 
Shmellows.jpg 
 
Also, my Krampus Shirt came in:
 
Image result for redbubble krampus

 

The sleeves are red, though.  Fell asleep at JJ's place.  Considering I started the day being miserable and reflective about my prior relationship; getting new clothes, making treats, getting a girl's phone number, and sleeping over a gorgeous woman's place seems *considerably better* than any anniversary I had with my ex.

 

December 7th, Thursday:

 

The day that I've been nervous about for a solid week.

 

On 12/1/2017 at 10:08 AM, Teros said:

I was joking with a bunch of ladies in class (because it's literally me and the very effeminate guy, Evan- the other 16ish people in class are all 25 year old women).  It was brought up that next week, they want to go clubbing or to a bar after class and I was unanimously invited to go. Natasha, Shalissa, Sabrina, and Lori want to go drinking with me.  I'm assuming that Beth and Julia will want go as well.  It will be me and 6 tipsy, attractive, friendly, younger women next week.

Image result for fanning self gif

 

Considering how the phone number situation went yesterday, I'm in good spirits.  Things will be fine, right?

Image result for shrug

  As I'm working, my manager comes up to me.  He asks about the donation box that I had set up in the office.  A couple weeks ago, I asked him if I could put a cardboard box upstairs to accept donations for the residency that I'm interning at.  It was almost full when I took the box and I set up a new box.  My manager wanted to make sure that I got the previous stuff.  I told him that I did, and he started asking some follow-up questions.

 

He wanted to know more about what I did.  I explain my internship and the cooking that I do on Sunday nights and how I'm trying to bridge together a community.  I also bring up school.  He tells me that what I'm doing is impressive and he wanted to know if it was possible to get a couple pictures, because there is a program initiative through work that highlights people that do good works in the community.

 

Are you telling me that I'll be a poster-boy for my current job because of what I'm doing for my internship, which then means I'll be highlighted in some sort of community involvement and have the news spread to multiple stores?   Because that's what I'm *hearing* right now.

 

I tell him that because of confidentiality, that I will 'see what I can do' and leave it at that.  I finish the rest of my work day.

 

Time for class.

 

I wear my satyr horns, wear my krampus shirt, and have a huge bag of treats.  I text Sabrina and ask where she is.  She's downstairs in a side-office.  We meet up and I tell her I need help portioning out all the 'coal' into separate bags.  She's about to say, 'But I don't think I should touch them' but I cut her thought off by handing her a plastic glove.  "Oh my gosh, you think of everything."

 

Yes. Yes I do.

 

All the coal seperated into individual bags, I lay out the 'shmellow treats on a tray and we go to class.  As soon as I walk in, the teacher and 3 women ask me what the hell is going on.

 

"GRUSEF VON KRAMPUS!"  I shout.  The spelling is 'gruBe von Krampus, but it's said 'gru-sef'.

 

I tell them each to take a 'shmellow treat and I hand them a bag of coal.  A few more women come into class.  'GRUSEF CON KRAMPUS!'  More treat passing out.  Eventually, as people walk in, they all get their treats.  I sit at the far-right table, which has: Natasha, Shalissa, Sabrina, and Lori.  Basically the women I'm going drinking with tonight.

 

Class is quick and painless.  We get out really early. 

 

Lori says that she can't go: she's wearing her army uniform and doesn't feel comfortable going to a bar while wearing that.  We convince her otherwise.

 

Meanwhile, Shalissa says that she doesn't have any money for drinking so she needs to not go.  We all cheer her on to go.  She was the one that suggested this hang-out.  It would be lame if she didn't come out.  The ladies offer to buy her drinks.  She says that she has barely enough money to get gas and she apologizes.  Eventually, Shalissa caves in and goes with us.  :rolleyes:

 

Jeez, the excuses people make.  We all meet up at a bar about a mile away.  I get there first and walk across the street.  Shalissa has a group-text for us all.  Once inside, no one knows what to get.  I think of what the *least* damaging thing would be.  Natasha gets a vodka and club soda.  I get a vodka and cranberry juice.  I don't know what the others get because I ordered my drink while standing next to Natasha and we sat down at a table.

 

We all talk for roughly three hours.  I was having the time of my life.  So, in all of my OKC online dating shit, I NEVER once went out 'for drinks' with a lady. In fact, I've only been in a bar once and that was with two dudes who ordered a pitcher of skunky beer and we sat out on the patio.  I had nothing to say to two dude who I've known for over a decade.  Tonight?  Tonight I'm a motormouth like all of the ladies!  It was fantastic.  Not once did I feel awkward and there was no weird silences. 

 

Lori even bought us all a round of shots.

 

drank.jpg

 

Everyone was blunt. Shalissa said to Natasha (who is always impeccably dressed), "I saw you come into class and thought 'why is she in social work?'  Usually if they are really pretty and have good style, they are stuck-up and stuff."  As Shalissa says this I act shocked and go, "Are you saying that I'm not PRETTY?!"  Constant laughing and joking around from everyone.  I learn about everyone, but most especially about Shalissa.  The topic of relationships comes up and I notice Shalissa mentions, "I don't want to bash and stuff since there's a guy here."  I thought that comment was interesting.  Anyways, it turns out that she's with a guy that doesn't have a job and is depressed, and is trying to get custody of his 3 kids.  Meanwhile, this amazing woman is working full time, going to school, doing her internship, and buying *him* videogames and other shit to make him happy.  She mocked him and said that he's just there as a glorified dog-sitter.

 

The whole group turned into,

 

 

To which I fully agree.  I text Sabrina while the conversation is going on and I tell her that Shalissa deserves to be treated so much better than that.  I really wanted to say how I felt about this to Shalissa, but I didn't want things to become awkward so I just echoed what the other ladies stated.

 

After everyone told her to drop him and that she should be treated better, Shalissa wanted to change the topic. We talked about school and some shit-talking.  Someone brought up 'Smiley'.

 

There's a girl in my Monday class that is blonde and always has this incredibly FAKE AND HUGE smile whenever the teacher even looks in her direction.  We unanimously agree that this girl sucks.  I didn't like her since I first saw her, but to know that the *other* women in this group felt the same way was just so....reassuring.

 

A couple hours pass and Lori needs to get home since it's getting late.  That turns into others agreeing and wanting to do this again.  Everyone had a blast and that includes me.  This might become a twice-a-month thing: me and the ladies getting drinks and talking shit.

Image result for everything worked out

  Everything went fine!

 

December 8th, Friday:

 

Oh goody gumdrops.  I have my meeting with AngelFace today...

 

  

We go over the art therapy stuff and I bring up the work-picture-confidentiality thing.  She's going to look into it.  I'm also asked about reading the 'Housing First' book that is hers (that she let me borrow).  I said that with school being done for a couple of weeks, I'm going to power through that, along with doing some of these art therapy projects.  The next couple weeks should be AWESOME.

 

She says some of the nicest stuff I have EVER heard.  I tried to not tear up at what she said that day.  I didn't want to forget how she worded it so I texted myself a long note so I wouldn't forget.  This is what she said to my face:

 

"You have this unique way about you where you are able to draw out the information and its magical.  You have a very unique gift to talk about heavy information in a very casual way that can be done anywhere.  It's an amazing skill that not many people have and it's wonderful to see you work.  You have rapport and trust with all of the household.  In social work, we're usually in such a rush to get the information, like [your original supervisor] and it's always go-go-go but you take the time and genuinely care.  I'm proud of you."

Image result for how sweet blushing

 

 

Magical? Unique Gift? Proud?  I'm like the fucking Harry Potter of social work according to AngelFace.  This means one of two things.

 

1) She secretly hates my guts and is buttering me up for an eventual betrayal.

 

2) She thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.

 

One of these are true and I'm honestly thinking it's #2.

 

===

 

Onto my goals.  Oh yeah, those things:

 

On 11/19/2017 at 3:51 PM, Teros said:

My [Hardcore Crusader] Challenge:

 

1) Purge the Body - I'm starting a whole30+.  I'm eating whole 30, with Thanksgiving/Krampus being the ONLY flexible days for me.  Everything else is 100%.

 

2) Purge the Mind - I'm purging things that distract me.

a.) I'm purging Facebook and not going on at all.

b.) I'm purging Youtube and not going on unless I need a link for goal #6.

 

3) TomeWork - A Crusader has trusty tomes of knowledge.  This is multiple parts to complete:

 

a.) (School) - Do my assessment paper

b.) (School) - Do my first process recording

c.) (School) - Do my second process recording

d.) (Intern) - Do my client trainings

e.) (Intern) - Organize paperwork

f.) (Intern) - Built resource list

g.) (Intern) - Start policy drafts

h.) (Personal) - Finish anatomy picture book

 

4) Temptations of the Flesh - Purging physical temptations.

a.) Purging any porn sites.

b.) Only 3 evenings per week with 'ladyfriends'.

 

5) My Hammer - My workouts.  I'm doing at least one of each:

a.) Sledgehammer

b.) Interval Jog

c.) MMA class

 

6) My Shield - I'm doing something creative at least once per week (besides this whole challenge idea).  This includes any of these (and what I would maybe need Youtube for):

a.) Bellmyst Campaign

b.) Painting

c.) Claywork

d.) Papermache

e.) Anything else creative that might come up

 

1) I'm having a serious problem with this one.  I know that my challenge is supposed to be hardcore, but I have a REALLY debilitating time with forgetful eating.  For example, I never walk over somewhere and think, "I'm going to eat that cookie over there".  Instead, I'm talking to someone and I absent-mindedly eat a fun-size snickers and then after I realize what I just did.  It's like my brain and short-term amnesia.  This hasn't happened a lot, but it's happening enough that I'm getting pissed off with myself and it's bordering on failing this goal.  This is where I need some serious help and I'm not sure what I can do.  I realize this bullshit *after* I've eaten something.  Good example is the gingerbread house: I had 2 twizzlers while we were building because I almost dropped them and then shoved them in my mouth.  Now, was I eating handfuls of this?  No.  I didn't grab a handful of stuff to eat it.  I didn't have any m&ms or whatever else.  Another good example was when I was making those marshmallow treats.  Yeah, I had one as soon as it cooled.  Again, I could have had 10 of them and felt like a fatass, but these little mini-cheats that are absent-minded are what got me into this predicament and it needs to stop NOW.  This is the only goal that I haven't completely fucking obliterated with awesomeness.  However, it's also the most important one.  Ehhh

 

2)a) I went on Facebook to see about my Bestie's account.  There were 70+ notifications.  I didn't even click it.  I saw his account was back to normal and I closed out.  Total Facebook time in the past 2 months: 18 seconds.  Complete Win.

2)b) I look for clips to post on here and some music.  I have not fallen into the dreaded youtube hole for 4+ hours like I used to.  Complete Win.

 

3)a) Assessment Paper: DONE

3)b) First Process Recording: DONE

3)c) Second Process Recording: DONE

3)d) Client Trainings: They are starting in a couple days.  IN PROGRESS.

3)e) Organize Paperwork: I have the whole filing cabinent labeled into folders and sub-folders.  DONE

3)f) Build Resource List: AngelFace said she found a whole binder of most resources which she was going to photocopy for me and give to me and I can work off of that.  IN PROGRESS.

3)g) Start Policy Drafts: I don't know what I need to do for this yet, which is why I need to set up an appointment with my teacher.  IN PROGRESS.

3)h) Finish Anatomy Picture Book: DONE

 

4)a) Zero Porn and my Charisma/Macking skills have increased.  Complete Win.

Related image

 

 

4)b) I honestly haven't been keeping track, but I also know that I'm setting limits, like when I told Little that I wasn't going to hang out with her on Sunday because I needed to get homework done.  I have priorities and I'm making sure those matter. Complete Win.

 

5)a)&c) Sledgehammer and MMA has been falling by the wayside. I was using the Spartan Race and being sick as excuses.  However,

Image result for fuck that gif

  Not an excuse.  Which is why....

 

December 9th, Saturday:

 

Finally able to decompress from school and the drama, the rest of my Friday was pretty uneventful and calm.  But Saturday, it was time to hit things hard.

 

I went for a 4+ mile walk with some interval jogging.  When I got home, it was time to make up any missed sledgehammering.  Also, because of the damn meeting, I missed my MMA class again so I decided penance was going to be doing bodyweight exercises as well.

 

I did rounds of:

-Burpees

-Sledgehammer: Gravedigger

-Slegehammer: Butter Churn

-Pushups

-Russian Twists with 25-pound kettelbell

 

I did one set of each and then I said out loud to myself, "Don't be a fucking asshole.  You can do more.  What matters is the last rep."  So I cranked a song:

 

  

I put it on 'Loop' and I did that set again.  And again.  And again.  And again.  Until everything was starting to hurt and I was exhausted.  I feel like I made up the difference in my workouts.  I also felt like a million dollars.  As I was microwaving my sweet potato and brussel spouts, scooping my cajun chicken, and making my protein and banana shake, I told myself, "Why the fuck don't I make myself do this?"

 

Again, like with the eating: it's absent-minded-ness.  I know I feel 100 times better when I eat healthy.  I feel 100 times better when I do my workouts.  And honestly, look at how much ass I've been kicking?  I'm going to import asses from other countries just to keep up with the demand.  I can only imagine if I was firing on ALL cylinders with a 100% whole30 and more regular workouts.  So considering I did *multiple* bodyweight circuits and sledgehammer workouts, Complete Win.

 

 

 

5)b) I have been very strict with these walks and jogs.  The sledge and MMA might have been pushed out of the picture for a bit, but I now have calluses on top of my calluses as badges of honor on my feet.

 

calus.jpg

 

Hard to tell in with the lighting, but I circled the red as the *other* callus under the one that recently ripped.  Fuck you, feet. Toughen up. Complete Win.

 

6)a-e) Bellmyst entry and the Advent Calendar both count.  And with school being done for a bit, I'm charging ahead and getting more art projects done for the art therapy program I'm spearheading. DONE.

 

I have either caught up, gotten ahead, or am crushing 95% of my [Hardcore] goals.  #1 Eating is the only thing that I personally know I can do better at.  And goddamnit, I'm going to do better at it.

 

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6 hours ago, Teros said:

Fuck you, feet. Toughen up. Complete Win.

 

 

The former dancer totally relates. I don't know how many times I heard other dancers talk with horror about trying to get pedicures. "They tried to take off my calluses!!  I'm like, STOP THAT! I need those! It took me a long time to build those!!!" :-)  

 

Anyways.... yay yay yay for you! :-D

 giphy.gif

 

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Way to go, @Teros, you are killing this challenge!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...but your German could use some work =P

 

9 hours ago, Teros said:

"GRUSEF VON KRAMPUS!"  I shout.  The spelling is 'gruBe von Krampus, but it's said 'gru-sef'.

The spelling is actually either "Grüße vom Krampus" (translated, Greetings from Krampus) OR "Gruß vom Krampus" (translated, Greeting(s) from Krampus)

 

The pronunciation is as follows:

"Grüße vom Krampus" = 'grui-suh fom 'krahm-puhs

"Gruß vom Krampus" = groos fom 'krahm-puhs

 

Initial 'v's sound like 'f's in German. Also, "von" becomes "vom" because of the grammar (Krampus is masculine singular, requiring "vom." If it were plural or feminine, it would use "von.")

 

 

...not that any of that really matters if you are in the States. BUT, if you ever happen to go to Germany in December or interact with Germans, this might be helpful.

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10 hours ago, Teros said:

This is where I need some serious help and I'm not sure what I can do

Dude,  have you thought of letting the people you are hanging around know about your food decisions so they can maybe mention to you that you just picked up a fun size Snickers?   Increase the size of you IRL accountability buddies.   As for 100% or fail, look at this as not a fail but you have no recognized a new wrinkle that you need to find a answer to.  You are 100%, you are not failing.  You have just found a new deficiency that needs to be fixed, that you wouldn't have found if you had not been doing so well.

 

  Great job over all as always.  Way to talk tough to yourself and get it done.  I have startled my work out partner a few times with him think I was talking to him when I was calling myself a pussy, or a fat ass to get a weight up.

 

    As for the new Chick, good on you.  It never hurts to ask and see what happens.   If you risk nothing you gain no think right? 

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20 hours ago, GregT. said:

Dude,  have you thought of letting the people you are hanging around know about your food decisions so they can maybe mention to you that you just picked up a fun size Snickers?   Increase the size of you IRL accountability buddies.

 

My IRL accountability buddies (my husband and my coworkers) help me make decisions on when exceptions are warranted. They'll also come up with alternatives that I hadn't considered. "How about we go to [restaurant x] because they have [option y] that fits in with your remaining Weight Watchers points?" sort of thing. 

 

It's also nice because I keep an eye on my accountability buddies, too. One of my coworkers was ordering takeout today (a thing she said she wasn't going to do this month) and I said "hey! that's against your December policy!" and she told me she'd done poorly on a test. I gave her a hug. It's a thing I might not have known if not for her monthly challenge. 

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On 12/10/2017 at 1:40 PM, Teros said:

Fuck you, feet. Toughen up. Complete Win.

 

Yeah buddy! I've gotten mine up to being able to walk on gravel without pain and in snow without feeling like they're on fire.

 

On 12/10/2017 at 1:40 PM, Teros said:

#1 Eating is the only thing that I personally know I can do better at.

 

You got this, bro.

 

ShinyGrotesqueCollardlizard.gif

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On 12/10/2017 at 8:10 PM, CallunaTook said:

I need those! It took me a long time to build those!!!

 

Might have to start getting them on my hands soon, too.

 

On 12/10/2017 at 11:38 PM, StarlordPhoenix said:

"Grüße vom Krampus"

 

I didn't know how to do the fancy B, which is why I capitalized it.  When I it into google translate, that's how the lady sounds (or at least how I hear it):

 

https://www.google.com/search?source=hp&ei=2WMwWs_9EMm8jwOQm7G4Ag&q=enligh+to+german&oq=enligh+to+german&gs_l=psy-ab.3..0i10k1l10.723.8958.0.9100.53.29.7.0.0.0.337.3877.0j10j7j2.19.0....0...1.1.64.psy-ab..29.24.3574...0j46j0i131k1j0i46k1j0i22i30k1j0i131i46k1j46i131k1.0.8l1d9iMSrpg 

 

On 12/11/2017 at 12:14 AM, GregT. said:

letting the people you are hanging around know about your food decisions

 

JJ knows.  Little knows but she's also vegan and after a couple of hours at her place, I literally have nothing to eat.  I need to batch cook and *bring food with me to her house*, which totally sucks.  Like, I know that getting some Whole Foods Indian food at the hot bar isn't *terrible*, but it's super easy to grab something extra that I don't think about, you know? 

 

Maybe this should be part of an updated #1.  Batch cook and have a 'to go box' during the week.  Hrmmm....

 

Image result for thinking

  

Yeah.  To-go box it is.  Thanks; if I didn't have someone to bounce that off of, I would't have thought of it.

 

21 hours ago, Super Starling! said:

My IRL accountability buddies

 

Not trying to shame at all, but roughly half of my accountability buddies are pudgy vegans that think pizza>lean burger, healthwise.

 

10 hours ago, Wolfen said:

and in snow without feeling like they're on fire.

 

How long does that take? I want that superpower.

 

---

December 9th, Saturday:  

 

So as I stated, I did my boss workout to catch up to what I've missed so far.  Felt like a million bucks.

Related image
 
Little wanted me to head over for a bit today, because she needed to go through her stuff at her parent's place.  She used to live in Georgia a few years ago and still has boxes of random crap there.  We're also supposed to get our first bit of snow today.  I'm there and Little needs to do some ma-ree-jay-wanna.  We get to talking and she tells me, "You know if you were a stoner like me, everything would be perfect."
 
I tell her about when I did the drugs.  It was a couple months after my ex had finally moved out.  I had a couple hits from my friend's stash and I sat on the couch.  My friend put on The Warriors.  I eventually slumped down into the laying-down position on the couch.  Next thing I remember, I'm being elbowed by my friend who gave me a frozen reeses cup.  I ate it without question and fell back to sleep.  This happened another 2 or 3 times.  That's all pot does.  I just sleep and eat junk.  Wow guys, I could have done that WITHOUT needing drugs...
 
After I tell her this, she says, "Well maybe you didn't take a big enough hit!"  I doubt this and we start talking about tolerances.  I would get headaches if people even smoked around me.  I'm probably a lightweight.  I know that I'm a heavyweight when it comes to drinking; since 5 shots of vodka makes me feel 'meh'.  This is one of the many reasons I don't want to drink: I don't want to build up a higher tolerance than I naturally have and end up being an alcoholic.
 
Also, my dad who I've never seen was apparently an alcoholic.  I just... don't want to get involved.  The vodka and cranberry juice at the bar on Ladies & Teros Night, or a random Kahlua if celebrating is the most I'll ever plan on doing in my lifetime.
 
Little hands me her bong.  Eh.  I figure why the hell not.  There's nothing to eat anyways and it's snowing out so I'm not leaving anytime soon.  I'm told to suck for about 15 seconds while lighting.  I inhale. Hold it.  Puff once and cough once.   "Ok" I say, "How long is this supposed to take again?" 
 
She tells me it will take 5ish minutes for the stuff she uses.  10 minutes later and I'm bored.  Apparently I'm supposed to take another hit.  I do it again.  This doesn't do crap.  Either she's a super MEGA lightweight and this is a lame stash, or I have a much higher resistance that I thought.  Regardless, I tell her I'm not doing anymore.  It just dries my throat out.  She starts jamming on the ukulele.  As she does this, she's sort of teaching me how to play as well.  She's telling me about 'dropped beats' and the chord progression. 

 

I've noticed that when I see *anyone* create *anything* I want to jump on the bandwagon.  There is something inside me that screams that I need to make STUFF.  Doesn't even matter what. 

 

We have a heart to heart and she asks me if I think she's crazy. She says that part of her wants to be like other people and go home and do adult things.  Eventually, Little tells me that she has a headache and we aren't going to her parent's place.  *ugh*  I plan my time accordingly to help her out and she cites having yet another headache.  Fine.  Whatever.

 

We're lying in bed and she asks me, "Have I ever told you the story of LittleFace?" 

 

LittleFace is her stuffed red panda that she's had for a couple of years.

 

I tell her that I don't know the origin story and she proceeds to tell me.  Then she tells me about her other 'stuffies' that she has.  The enthusiasm in her eyes is electric.  I have a hard time explaining this, but she seems so incredibly happy when talking about this, that it makes me happy.  I asked for more info.  And more.  As she's getting excited about this, I'm running my fingers through her hair and I notice her eyes keep fluttering and she coos.  She stops telling me about all of her stuffies and says directly, "Do you think I'm crazy?"  This is now the second time tonight that she's asked this.  I go, "Yeah, you totally are."  She replies in a disappointed and almost worried tone, "Really?"  I tell her, "Yeah, but that's not a bad thing." 

Image result for I dig crazy chicks

*sigh of relief from her*

 

She wants to show me something, but I need to close my eyes.  I do so and I hear a zipper noise.  I'm allowed to open my eyes again. 

 

Before me is Little, wearing a purple dinosaur onsie.  She charges the bed and jumps on top.  "I'm the CUDDLE MONSTER!  RAWR!"  She puts her hands in front of her like a little t-rex.  I'm then told about the 'very complicated lore' for the Cuddle Monster.  By 'complicated', she means '2 sentences'. 

 

The Cuddle Monster was living in a log in the forest when one day, her ex shows up and brings CM home.  CM is scared of the giant cat, Eesa, and CM likes to eat paper and people's faces.

 

I ask what kind of paper CM likes to eat.  "All."

 

I ask CM if she's ever eaten origami paper and she responds, "No no.  That sounds delicious.  A delicacy. Like sushi."  I nod in approval of this.

 

Little, as the Cuddle Monster, tells me that her previous owner (ex) abandoned her.  She snuggles up against me, my left arm wrapped around her.  I ask if she needs a new owner.  "Mmm-hmm" as she cuddles closer.  She asks if I'm a 'strict' or 'relaxed' owner.  I have no frigging clue.  I say, "We'll play it by ear."  I'm then told that there's a price to pay if I'm going to own a Cuddle Monster.  She needs to eat my face.  'Just a nibble' she tells me.  After a couple playful bites, she rolls around on the bed with me and drifts off to sleep with a relieved exhale. 

 

I think that something about this interaction was very intense.  Whenever I try to have an 'adult' conversation with her, she can't handle it.  She just doesn't like saying certain things.  She blushes and is bashful about certain things.  However, when using this Little lens, she opens up more.  It's so weird.  I fall asleep at her place.

 

December 10th, Sunday:  

 

Woke up at Little's place in So. Much. Pain.

 

Really crazy DOMS from the workout the previous day.  Felt accomplished though.  After a bit I realized that Little was just going to stay in bed and I had shit to do so I kissed her forehead and told her I was gonna GTFO.

 

Went home and did some cleaning, NF checkup stuff, and then went food shopping for the residency.  There's supposed to be a big Xmas party on Monday and in preparation for that, I'm supposed to make sugar cookies with the residents.

 

Shopping at the market took way longer than it should have - especially since I only picked up a dozen things.  As soon as I walk into the residency, TJ pulls up as well and we bring the food into the office.  I'm telling him about the stir fry and cookies when we hear the side door bang closed and the AntiSocial Resident is loudly yelling for the Drinking Resident. 

 

"WHERE ARE YAAAAA [name]?  COME OUT!  I'M GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS!"  *stomp* *stomp* *stomp*

 

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The party is frigging TOMORROW.  Do we really need shitty drama right now?

 

I try to talk to the AntiSocial Resident but she's having none of it.  Bangs on Drinking Resident's door for a minute, then stomps upstairs to talk to Eyeball Resident.  She eventually goes into Eyeball Resident's apartment and TJ and I can hear her wailing.  After 15 or so minutes, it calms down and it seems like her venting to Eyeball Resident somewhat fixed things.  I decide to start checking on the other residents.  Older Resident does the 1 finger curl to me as soon as I'm in her apartment.

 

Image result for point finger come here gif
 

 

A few inches away from her face, she tells me what happened earlier:

 

Drinking Resident had his sister over and they were outside in the driveway.  AntiSocial Resident saw the sister and was talking to her, then started accusing her of talking trash.  AntiSocial then hit the sister in the face with something and Drinker called the cops.  Cops took AntiSocial for a couple of hours but now she just got back home and was furious.

 

Everyone complains about the drama but maybe everyone in the house should stop drinking and it wouldn't happen.

 

TJ and I check up on the other residents.  A couple come to the kitchen to help.  We make a stir fry and then it's sugar cookie time!  I make a hybrid of two cookie recipes and the batter is a little too runny.  Whatever.  We cut up all the cookies.  Trees. Snowmen. Bells. Stars.  Gingerbread Men.   NOT GingerDead Men.

 

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Some of the cookies get a bit uh.... plump.... but overall, they turn out great:

 

 

 

 cookies.jpg

 

I eventually get home and go to bed around midnight, I think.

 

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17 minutes ago, Teros said:

To-go box it is

 

  If you want some ideas on the boxes, Check out Deffy does snack boxes       I know you know.  However, she has been doing them for a while and might have some insight.  I feel you on the To go stuff.  I find I nee to do this as well when I go to Gaming night and such. 

 

Great job on the Work out and not eating the cookies.  Sounds like Little is O.K. and just uses the Little stuff as you said as a way to communicate difficult topics.  At least she is talking to you about it.

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