Athaclena's Gonna Get The Hang Of This.... Eventually!

[Athaclena]

I'll start with my traditional "beginning of Challenge post".  For more about me (for the curious) - check my signature for previous challenges where I'll have a bio (beyond that I'm a traveling consultant - emphasis on travel LOL).  I also love to cook and have started a Recipe thread (I'll throw that into my sig as well).

I've decided to stick with the Rebels until I can figure out this "workout" thing.  My last FEW challenges have been quite successful.  I've got a handle on my eating (and continuing to tweak) and I'm still struggling to form some sort of workout routine!

 

SO - this challenge I'm going to keep on keeping on - but focusing on getting on the workout bandwagon.  Starting with walking.  I've been working on getting in at least 3 days of walking per week although I'm not remotely getting to my ultimate goal of 10k on those days - so I'm going to back my "goal" down to average 5k per day over the week with a goal of 3 "walking" days where I need to far exceed that to meet that goal.  Any other Fitbit users want to track and keep me honest - my public URL is www.fitbit.com/user/27X45Y - feel free to friend me!  I also reserve the right to throw this RIGHT OUT and come up with a different workout plan LOL.  I just need to find SOMETHING that I can be consistent with - although I really, really want to work on my cardio health.

 

So - onto the list:

1) Nutrition - keep up with Probiotic and Breakfast shakes 5+ days per week. Continue cutting carbs for most meals (one cheat day - and realize I need to stick as much as possible when traveling).

 

2) Set myself up for success - During the week - drag my a$$ out of bed by 7am (may have to get up a BIT earlier when on the road - but enough time to get in AT LEAST 30 minutes of walking - or dang - SOME SORT OF WORKOUT in the AM) - this does mean taking "workout gear" with me when traveling - but that shouldn't be a problem.

 

3) Exercise - Walk.  Just Walk.  I want to do MORE, but I've got to get some weight off so I'm focusing on walking this challenge.  Goal is 5k steps PER DAY average.  May throw this out and do a Body Weight Workout - or something completely different though......

 

4) Sleep - Do my best to keep a sleep schedule\get enough sleep.  Fell off a bit this challenge - need to get back on the wagon here.... I mean I totally rocked it last week - but I was sick and my body sort of forced me to.  If only I can do that NORMALLY.

 

5) Check in here more.  Even while traveling - I have the technology LOL.  Check in on my thread at LEAST 3 times per week, keep up with the Juice Bar.  If I have time, follow a few other threads to encourage others and at least TRY to do the mini-challenges.

[Wobbegong]

Yaaaaay! Welcome back, Athaclena! 

 

Your goals look wonderful, and from your Juice Bar post it sounds like you're on your way to success within a number of parameters (even if you insist you're not tracking). Keep at it! 

 

I have no idea if I'm just a morning person or if this actually works, but I find staying hydrated helps a lot with waking up in the morning. Not... really sure why. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But something to consider! 

[zeroh13]

Welcome back!

 

3 hours ago, Wobbegong said:

 

I have no idea if I'm just a morning person or if this actually works, but I find staying hydrated helps a lot with waking up in the morning. Not... really sure why. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But something to consider!

It helps me because then I really have to pee in the morning. The trick is not getting back in bed after going to the bathroom.

[Bean Sidhe]

Welcome back.

Your challenge looks great.

Not going to lie, I use a regular alarm with a snooze button to get up that starts going off at 5:15. I also have an alarm on my phone for my I really don't want to get up days that goes off at 5:45 am Saying "GET UP NOW, YOU OVERSLEPT" which helps. I know if that goes off, and I am still in bed, I am in trouble. I also have one at 6 to remind me to get downstairs since at that point I have like 20 minutes until the girl I watch in the mornings comes over.  Since you travel, maybe have different sounds for the 2 alarms?

 

Looking forward to seeing how you do.

[PixiePrincessPea]

13 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

Welcome back!

 

It helps me because then I really have to pee in the morning. The trick is not getting back in bed after going to the bathroom.

 

Same here lol 

[Wobbegong]

21 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

It helps me because then I really have to pee in the morning. The trick is not getting back in bed after going to the bathroom.

It should be noted that this technique does not work as well for people who wake up in the night to pee. If you are that person, you have to keep drinking more water every time you get up. I understand that's... a thing for some people. 

[Athaclena]

Had a great week with friends and family. Quite the"bye" week diet wise but didn't do TOO much damage.

 

Thankfully the closest thing to drama for the week was my brother "forgetting" Mom had scheduled a family dinner Tuesday after I flew home before he, the wife and kids went out of town for a wedding. 

 

Mom and I cooked for a small batch of friends Thursday, spent Friday "in town" visiting Mom's father (my last living grandparent), caught a movie, visited with one of my oldest friends at Starbucks and rounded out with dinner at one our favorite, small, family restaurants. We made overnight french toast (breakfast bread pudding) with the leftover Brioche I made this morning with Mom #2 - Mom's best friend before they dropped me off at the airport. One of my best Thanksgiving visits ever!

 

Now back to the real world and to start off this challenge with a bang!

[Bean Sidhe]

I am glad you had a great week off with the family. It sounds like it was a wonderful week to be home and see people.

Welcome back and good luck with the challenge.

[Athaclena]

Holy crap - is it Thursday ALREADY?!

 

Well, what was supposed to be an easy couple of weeks home before my travel to LA - well - turned into just 1.  Emergency trip to Kansas City next week to un-snarl a database for a product upgrade.  For something relatively stupid - but engineering is blaming the client for something set up (wait for it) 8 years ago.  So I'm going to go fix the setting on 70 tables - which means copying data, dropping and re-creating the tables with all of the relative indexes and constraints and re-loading the data back - preserving any keys.  OH - and I get to script it so it's repeatable for when we do their production database. I'm going to need a constant caffeine infusion to get it all done - and tested - and right.  Time to add some WD-40 to my SQL Admin skills.... Oh and I took an earlier flight out Friday so I'm home before midnight - because I head to LA on Sunday *sigh*.

And now for the challenge update..

 

1) Nutrition - Doing well on the probiotic\shake front.  Eating too many carbs though - need to keep my eye on that....

 

2) Set myself up for success - I've been up a bit earlier - but not early enough.  Getting there though!

 

3) Exercise - Walk.  Just Walk.  Not this week....

 

4) Sleep - Actually doing well here - 8 hours every night! And I can tell I'm getting good quality sleep because it's not as much of a drag getting up....

 

5) Check in here more - been checking on the mini-challenge a bit, but not posting much.  I do need to be in here a bit more....

[Bean Sidhe]

23 hours ago, Athaclena said:

Holy crap - is it Thursday ALREADY?!

 

Well, what was supposed to be an easy couple of weeks home before my travel to LA - well - turned into just 1.  Emergency trip to Kansas City next week to un-snarl a database for a product upgrade.  For something relatively stupid - but engineering is blaming the client for something set up (wait for it) 8 years ago.  So I'm going to go fix the setting on 70 tables - which means copying data, dropping and re-creating the tables with all of the relative indexes and constraints and re-loading the data back - preserving any keys.  OH - and I get to script it so it's repeatable for when we do their production database. I'm going to need a constant caffeine infusion to get it all done - and tested - and right.  Time to add some WD-40 to my SQL Admin skills.... Oh and I took an earlier flight out Friday so I'm home before midnight - because I head to LA on Sunday *sigh*.

And now for the challenge update..

 

1) Nutrition - Doing well on the probiotic\shake front.  Eating too many carbs though - need to keep my eye on that....

 

2) Set myself up for success - I've been up a bit earlier - but not early enough.  Getting there though!

 

3) Exercise - Walk.  Just Walk.  Not this week....

 

4) Sleep - Actually doing well here - 8 hours every night! And I can tell I'm getting good quality sleep because it's not as much of a drag getting up....

 

5) Check in here more - been checking on the mini-challenge a bit, but not posting much.  I do need to be in here a bit more....

 

Yikes on the emergency trip. Good luck getting it all take care of. Sadly, I have no SQL knowledge yet, otherwise I would tell you to hit me up if you need it.

 

Sounds like your doing good on your challenge. Getting up a bit earlier is a good start. Good luck with the walking. I hope you can get some in.

[Diadhuit]

Holy crap - is it Thursday ALREADY?!
 
Well, what was supposed to be an easy couple of weeks home before my travel to LA - well - turned into just 1.  Emergency trip to Kansas City next week to un-snarl a database for a product upgrade.  For something relatively stupid - but engineering is blaming the client for something set up (wait for it) 8 years ago.  So I'm going to go fix the setting on 70 tables - which means copying data, dropping and re-creating the tables with all of the relative indexes and constraints and re-loading the data back - preserving any keys.  OH - and I get to script it so it's repeatable for when we do their production database. I'm going to need a constant caffeine infusion to get it all done - and tested - and right.  Time to add some WD-40 to my SQL Admin skills.... Oh and I took an earlier flight out Friday so I'm home before midnight - because I head to LA on Sunday *sigh*.

And now for the challenge update..
 

1) Nutrition - Doing well on the probiotic\shake front.  Eating too many carbs though - need to keep my eye on that....

 

2) Set myself up for success - I've been up a bit earlier - but not early enough.  Getting there though!

 

3) Exercise - Walk.  Just Walk.  Not this week....

 

4) Sleep - Actually doing well here - 8 hours every night! And I can tell I'm getting good quality sleep because it's not as much of a drag getting up....

 

5) Check in here more - been checking on the mini-challenge a bit, but not posting much.  I do need to be in here a bit more....

Gah! I have always been avoiding SQL, just cannot stand the unpredictability of it!
And... I never realised you were a DBA? I didn't even realised you worked in IT... should read more properly
Hello fellow WIT
Coffee is what charges us up, you are doing great with all that travelling!

[Wobbegong]

A year ago my boss told me I should learn SQL since it would be "good if you're going to continue in this field" (customer service???). He dumped some online resources in my lap and then never mentioned it again. But I probably should work on my coding skills... there's money there, after all. 

 

Enjoy your time at home if you can!! And good luck with your upcoming work trips, unexpected snarls from eight year old nonsense are no fun at all. Sounds like your challenge is going pretty well, even if it's not all perfect. That's fine, just stay with it and you'll get there. Let us know if there's anything we can do to support you! 

[Athaclena]

Actually @Diadhuit - I'm not a DBA - have never been one - OFFICIALLY.  My background is Web Development - BUT - my apps were always very data heavy and I ended up finding out that I was VERY GOOD at DB Design in general and SQL. I actually think in data structures - just didn't realize it until I was realized I was designing the data layout in my head while requirement gathering. So - I've done a lot of "DBA" things in the past.  Now I'm really an Architect.  I design implementations for the massive software package my company sells that integrates with tons of systems at clients (and we're talking everything from 10k employees to 500k employees). So my background in moving data around has been VERY helpful.  And sometimes I get to write some code\customizations - and sometimes I have to roll up my sleeves and fix something that engineering (that's our developers) won't (or can't).   Next week it's a relatively small client - but I'm also trying to make sure we don't end up with yet ANOTHER half-assed upgrade.  I don't do half-assed and I WILL fix it.  Dammit.

If you're in IT and either write code or reports - I ALWAYS recommend learning more about data structures and SQL.  Because all of the "tools" out there that do that for you suck.  Like really, totally, are completely abysmal. Of course you wouldn't know they were if you've never seen comparisons with an actual properly designed DB. If you learn how to do your back end databases properly and write your own DB code - your code will be OODLES more efficient and you will become a coding god\goddess with the sheer efficiency.  Trust me

And in the art of next week sucking a little less, a Window seat opened up on my Monday morning flight.  So HURRAY for airline status letting me move seats LOL - and for remembering that I needed to check again the next day after booking the flight.

[Diadhuit]

Actually [mention=63447]Diadhuit[/mention] - I'm not a DBA - have never been one - OFFICIALLY.  My background is Web Development - BUT - my apps were always very data heavy and I ended up finding out that I was VERY GOOD at DB Design in general and SQL. I actually think in data structures - just didn't realize it until I was realized I was designing the data layout in my head while requirement gathering. So - I've done a lot of "DBA" things in the past.  Now I'm really an Architect.  I design implementations for the massive software package my company sells that integrates with tons of systems at clients (and we're talking everything from 10k employees to 500k employees). So my background in moving data around has been VERY helpful.  And sometimes I get to write some code\customizations - and sometimes I have to roll up my sleeves and fix something that engineering (that's our developers) won't (or can't).   Next week it's a relatively small client - but I'm also trying to make sure we don't end up with yet ANOTHER half-assed upgrade.  I don't do half-assed and I WILL fix it.  Dammit.

If you're in IT and either write code or reports - I ALWAYS recommend learning more about data structures and SQL.  Because all of the "tools" out there that do that for you suck.  Like really, totally, are completely abysmal. Of course you wouldn't know they were if you've never seen comparisons with an actual properly designed DB. If you learn how to do your back end databases properly and write your own DB code - your code will be OODLES more efficient and you will become a coding god\goddess with the sheer efficiency.  Trust me [emoji4]

And in the art of next week sucking a little less, a Window seat opened up on my Monday morning flight.  So HURRAY for airline status letting me move seats LOL - and for remembering that I needed to check again the next day after booking the flight.

My degree too is Web Development and I stick to to it.
I also have to admit that I love normalised table structures!
More and more I love Front End after seeing companies DBs. It's an act of self care more than anything as I'm a perfectionist! I look at how an application is and feel for it as for a person. I do feel like a surgen going in and fixing something with the minimum impact for the patient, or, when writing a new feature, trying to avoid health consequences as much as possible.
I would be overwhelmed by fixing DBs because you guys are the neurosurgeons! And you can operate only with a sword and an awake patient! Nope, I would loose nights awake preparing for it.
I get scared each time I see the DB structure of the product in my company. I want to cry after seeing how badly it has been put together... How could they not think that would work?

[Athaclena]

10 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

I get scared each time I see the DB structure of the product in my company. I want to cry after seeing how badly it has been put together... How could they not think that would work?

I have a semi-permanent eye-twitch whenever I'm forced to look at the Stored Procedures.  The actual table structure isn't too bad - but holy cripes they don't know how to write efficient queries.

Actual "discussion" with one of my co-workers about writing a block of code for something - the end of the heated discussion went something like this.

 

Co-Worker: But if you do it that way, the more records over here the slower it's going to get.

Me: Not if you know how databases work - it won't matter HOW many records because there will be a limited number of the type we care about.

Co-Worker: But you'll have more records to sort through and code against?!

Me: .... You know what - you think I don't know what I'm doing? You code it your damn self.  This conversation is over have a great day. (because I was frankly beyond explaining something so frickin' basic to a "Principle")

I have managed to not have to work with him again - it's pretty known at this point that he and I aren't oil and water - it's more like lighter fluid and a match.  In fact - he wrote the stored proc in question and not me because "he knew how to code it" - and I got pulled in to update it when there needed to be more use cases processed.  I re-wrote it, added in the new use cases - plus a couple they didn't ask for but I knew that the client would want anyway - and I could do it within the requested billable time allotted.  And you know what? It was faster than the initial stored procedure and did more.  BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT THE F' I AM DOING AFTER 20 YEARS OF DOING THIS!?  And DUDE just refuses to understand that I just MIGHT know more than he does.  Male chauvinist prick! Heaven FORBID he learn something. Sorry - that was a year ago and still p*sses me off.  We had a good junior guy quit after witnessing that BS (there was more to it, but I think that was the final straw for him). I don't have to deal as much with the whole "women don't know IT" as I used to - it just really chaps my butt when it's within my own company with a co-worker who SHOULD have seen my work over the last 4 years and realized I really DO know what I'm doing...... If only getting my blood boiling like that counted as a workout LOL.

[Diadhuit]

I have a semi-permanent eye-twitch whenever I'm forced to look at the Stored Procedures.  The actual table structure isn't too bad - but holy cripes they don't know how to write efficient queries.

Actual "discussion" with one of my co-workers about writing a block of code for something - the end of the heated discussion went something like this.
 
Co-Worker: But if you do it that way, the more records over here the slower it's going to get.
Me: Not if you know how databases work - it won't matter HOW many records because there will be a limited number of the type we care about.
Co-Worker: But you'll have more records to sort through and code against?!
Me: .... You know what - you think I don't know what I'm doing? You code it your damn self.  This conversation is over have a great day. (because I was frankly beyond explaining something so frickin' basic to a "Principle")

I have managed to not have to work with him again - it's pretty known at this point that he and I aren't oil and water - it's more like lighter fluid and a match.  In fact - he wrote the stored proc in question and not me because "he knew how to code it" - and I got pulled in to update it when there needed to be more use cases processed.  I re-wrote it, added in the new use cases - plus a couple they didn't ask for but I knew that the client would want anyway - and I could do it within the requested billable time allotted.  And you know what? It was faster than the initial stored procedure and did more.  BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT THE F' I AM DOING AFTER 20 YEARS OF DOING THIS!?  And DUDE just refuses to understand that I just MIGHT know more than he does.  Male chauvinist prick! Heaven FORBID he learn something. Sorry - that was a year ago and still p*sses me off.  We had a good junior guy quit after witnessing that BS (there was more to it, but I think that was the final straw for him). I don't have to deal as much with the whole "women don't know IT" as I used to - it just really chaps my butt when it's within my own company with a co-worker who SHOULD have seen my work over the last 4 years and realized I really DO know what I'm doing...... If only getting my blood boiling like that counted as a workout LOL.

Don't .let .me .started!
A colleague of mine refuses to refer to me as senior when he has the same title and call himself such. And sometimes addresses me as darling. He is f#cking 35, not 70!
And that's the tiny thing that makes my blood boil in a quite good job (everyone else is considering me equal)
I had baaaad things happening in the past and I see it is getting better and where I have been lately it's nearly there.

[Athaclena]

5 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

Don't .let .me .started!
A colleague of mine refuses to refer to me as senior when he has the same title and call himself such. And sometimes addresses me as darling. He is f#cking 35, not 70!
And that's the tiny thing that makes my blood boil in a quite good job (everyone else is considering me equal)
I had baaaad things happening in the past and I see it is getting better and where I have been lately it's nearly there.

#Word While I did at least INSIST on getting paid fairly (and refused quite a few job offers that just refused to pay the proper rate for the work I was being hired for), it took WAY too much job hopping to 1) get into something OTHER than tied to a chair programming - because while I CAN legitimately do the work of 3 - I was totally burned out and 2) GET A FREAKING PROMOTION.  Equality is not JUST equal pay people!  I've been with my current company now 5 years and received actual, real raises and a promotion (yes, I had to go to HR to get said promotion but that was because my favorite manager left to take care of his mother and my manager after that has 0 balls) - my first same company promotion in 20 years (yes, you read that # right).  When my favorite manager left, I legit cried - because I knew the promotion was lost and how could I be mad at him when he was quitting to take care of his mother?! I just simmered after my conversation with my "new" manager about a promotion and he "didn't even know what that would look like".  Confidence inspiring isn't it? At some point I simmered enough until I basically said F it and made the HR call - because I was DOING the job of the next level, legit deserved the promotion and what would they do - fire me? Highly unlikely given the amount of work I was doing and deals I was helping them close.  Needless to say, my promotion came through within 60 days.  But I SHOULD NOT have needed to make that call.....

[Scaly Freak]

It is always disturbing to discover that you as a female have bigger balls than your male boss.

 

Gender aside, it is never good when you have a boss you can't trust to have your back. It's screwed up and sucks that it happens to women in IT and STEM jobs more often than it does to men in any job or to women in nursing or teaching.

[Diadhuit]

#Word While I did at least INSIST on getting paid fairly (and refused quite a few job offers that just refused to pay the proper rate for the work I was being hired for), it took WAY too much job hopping to 1) get into something OTHER than tied to a chair programming - because while I CAN legitimately do the work of 3 - I was totally burned out and 2) GET A FREAKING PROMOTION.  Equality is not JUST equal pay people!  I've been with my current company now 5 years and received actual, real raises and a promotion (yes, I had to go to HR to get said promotion but that was because my favorite manager left to take care of his mother and my manager after that has 0 balls) - my first same company promotion in 20 years (yes, you read that # right).  When my favorite manager left, I legit cried - because I knew the promotion was lost and how could I be mad at him when he was quitting to take care of his mother?! I just simmered after my conversation with my "new" manager about a promotion and he "didn't even know what that would look like".  Confidence inspiring isn't it? At some point I simmered enough until I basically said F it and made the HR call - because I was DOING the job of the next level, legit deserved the promotion and what would they do - fire me? Highly unlikely given the amount of work I was doing and deals I was helping them close.  Needless to say, my promotion came through within 60 days.  But I SHOULD NOT have needed to make that call.....

I 'only' have 7y work experience and my worse was at the beginning where even before asking for a promotion one of my two managers (I had two because the other is a friend who really wanted to work with me so he would have been partial) more than once joked in a group and in my presence on the fact that women just need to open their legs to have a promotion. He was referring to people he thought were not doing their job right and looking at the company way of doing thing he might have been right that those (and other people) were not good in their jobs, but this demonstrate he wasn't either.
Aaand I went to job interviews that I want to forget.

Lately I discovered that one thing is very different between men and women in the workforce and it still seem a secret: men ask for raises/promotions continuously while I always feel 'cool, I'm lucky, I have a job, I don't even need a raise!'
I'm inspired by you going and fighting for your raise, I recently covered the gap formed of me lowballing myself when I moved country. My gross salary nearly doubled and still I think I should ask for a raise as soon as I am out of probation...

[Diadhuit]

It is always disturbing to discover that you as a female have bigger balls than your male boss.
 
Gender aside, it is never good when you have a boss you can't trust to have your back. It's screwed up and sucks that it happens to women in IT and STEM jobs more often than it does to men in any job or to women in nursing or teaching.

I don't know how it is in the US, here in Europe males in nursing and teaching have it equally hard (e.g. it's difficult to see a male head nurse), with the equal lack of support outside work.

And while there is a conversation and meetups to support women in STEM, I don't see one for men in traditionally feminine jobs.

I know a male teacher that was doing his job and talk to a female student on her own because she was misbehaving and said to her that if she didn't change he would have had to report her. Her reply? If you do I will say that you sexually molested me today. Can you imagine?!? He saw his career and life ending...

[Athaclena]

8 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

I 'only' have 7y work experience and my worse was at the beginning where even before asking for a promotion one of my two managers (I had two because the other is a friend who really wanted to work with me so he would have been partial) more than once joked in a group and in my presence on the fact that women just need to open their legs to have a promotion.

This - right here - should have been reported to HR immediately. Joke or not, that is wrong and should have been reported.  Even if it was through "anonymous" channels.  I realize I'm at a point in my career where I would just call up HR, tell them my name, what happened and who was there - because if they DID fire me I'd just sue the shizzle out of them while working for another company w\in 2 weeks (making the same or more $$).  But it's this shite that needs to stop.

 

9 hours ago, scalyfreak said:

It is always disturbing to discover that you as a female have bigger balls than your male boss.

 

Gender aside, it is never good when you have a boss you can't trust to have your back. It's screwed up and sucks that it happens to women in IT and STEM jobs more often than it does to men in any job or to women in nursing or teaching.

Yep - it's taken a long time to discover I actually had the cojones - but I kind of need them in my line of work. It is not uncommon for me to be the only female in a room of male IT guys I've never met and need to be able to immediately command their respect that I know what the heck I'm doing.  That has always been easy for me - but dealing with management? Took me a while to get that to translate.

I've had very few bosses I fully trusted. And the one that left? The absolute best of the bunch. I could literally talk to him about anything and he always had my back. It was almost like losing the father I always wanted - and says something when we literally only worked together 2 years. My current boss will fight for me - as long as there's something in it for him.  But I know that so I make sure I'm indispensable and take the time to make sure he closes the big deals.  As a result, he and management are looking at creating another level to keep me happy, give me the raise I deserve and keep my hands in the technical area they really need me - and I don't want let go of the tech stuff yet (and may never LOL).

 

8 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

I don't know how it is in the US, here in Europe males in nursing and teaching have it equally hard (e.g. it's difficult to see a male head nurse), with the equal lack of support outside work.

It's like that here too unfortunately.  While I don't have any male friends in nursing or teaching, I do have some female friends in both professions and they see it.  All that aside, neither are paid enough for what they do - no matter the gender.  It's the administration that makes the $$ in both fields....

[Scaly Freak]

8 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

Lately I discovered that one thing is very different between men and women in the workforce and it still seem a secret: men ask for raises/promotions continuously while I always feel 'cool, I'm lucky, I have a job, I don't even need a raise!'
 

 

I don't think that's a male-female thing, I think it's a personality thing. Whether a person is ambitious, or content to stay in their current position for the rest of their professional life, is a matter of how happy they are in their current job, what kind of personality they have, and most importantly of all, how their immediate superiors treat them. X or Y chromosome doesn't directly impact any of those.

 

8 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

I don't know how it is in the US, here in Europe males in nursing and teaching have it equally hard (e.g. it's difficult to see a male head nurse), with the equal lack of support outside work.

And while there is a conversation and meetups to support women in STEM, I don't see one for men in traditionally feminine jobs.

 

I think that's the same everywhere, just because it's human nature to react in a negative way to things that are not how we expect them to be. In the minds of certain people men are not suppose to be naturally nurturing and caring, so a man who wants to be a nurse instead of aiming for the more powerful and prestigious role of a doctor, must have something wrong with him.

 

I'm hoping most of it is generational and will go away as the generations who grew up with the more "traditional" gender roles are replaced with generations who grew up in a more fluctuating and flexible society. Time will tell.

[Scaly Freak]

7 minutes ago, Athaclena said:

This - right here - should have been reported to HR immediately. Joke or not, that is wrong and should have been reported.  Even if it was through "anonymous" channels.  I realize I'm at a point in my career where I would just call up HR, tell them my name, what happened and who was there - because if they DID fire me I'd just sue the shizzle out of them while working for another company w\in 2 weeks (making the same or more $$).  But it's this shite that needs to stop.

 

I have female friends in STEM jobs who have been fired for doing so.The managers who fired them made sure to let their friends in the industry know that this woman was unreliable, not a team player, unprofessional, and deliberately tried to cause trouble out of a sense of spite and jealousy of the success of others. They learned their lesson and never called HR over a sexist joke again.

 

It absolutely needs to stop. And it will, they day the other men in the room are the ones to object to the joke, tell the wanna-be comedian to stop being an ass, and then they are the ones who call HR. When that starts to happen on a regular basis, it will stop.

 

I think that's another generational thing, or at least I hope it is. That means there is an end in sight.

[Diadhuit]

 
I have female friends in STEM jobs who have been fired for doing so.The managers who fired them made sure to let their friends in the industry know that this woman was unreliable, not a team player, unprofessional, and deliberately tried to cause trouble out of a sense of spite and jealousy of the success of others. They learned their lesson and never called HR over a sexist joke again.
 
It absolutely needs to stop. And it will, they day the other men in the room are the ones to object to the joke, tell the wanna-be comedian to stop being an ass, and then they are the ones who call HR. When that starts to happen on a regular basis, it will stop.
 
I think that's another generational thing, or at least I hope it is. That means there is an end in sight.

That company didn't have HR. Sexism, bullying, rampant racism against the only one poc were common and left ignored my managers because they were not real managers, they had no training or time allocated. So no wonder that the people who decided they could emigrate went fast. I stayed less than my probation! After that that manager started bullying my other manager and he left in other 6 months. He managed to lose 3-4 stones after leaving only by not being bullied and not severely overworking

[Scaly Freak]

1 minute ago, Diadhuit said:

That company didn't have HR. 

 

Danger! Danger! RETREAT!!!

 

Sounds like a horrible place. I hope they went out of business.