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Bean Sidhe Vs Chaos: Entering the Library


Bean Sidhe

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Hi Bean,

 

Here's hoping you have a fun day on this Christmas Eve Eve. I'm sorry I disappeared this challenge. I guess I have my own trolls I need to learn to deal with. All I can say is that, even with everything, you're still here, you're still trying and you're talking about the next challenge like it WILL happen, not like you're going to quit. When I started my first challenge I don't think I believed I'd actually still be part of the group, still making progress, still going forward, albeit slow. If you can look back at your journey, even with all the mountains being dropped on you, you can see that you didn't let those mountains stop you. Sure they may have derailed you and made you change your course, but you always found your way back and you're still going. That's what matters!

 

I wish you a very blessed/merry/happy/abnosome Christmas and say cheers to you for all you do and have done!

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J3NN

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16 hours ago, J3NN said:

Hi Bean,

 

Here's hoping you have a fun day on this Christmas Eve Eve. I'm sorry I disappeared this challenge. I guess I have my own trolls I need to learn to deal with. All I can say is that, even with everything, you're still here, you're still trying and you're talking about the next challenge like it WILL happen, not like you're going to quit. When I started my first challenge I don't think I believed I'd actually still be part of the group, still making progress, still going forward, albeit slow. If you can look back at your journey, even with all the mountains being dropped on you, you can see that you didn't let those mountains stop you. Sure they may have derailed you and made you change your course, but you always found your way back and you're still going. That's what matters!

 

I disappeared for about a week or so in there too. Sometimes you just have to say "I hope they will wait" and you guys waited for me, so I am okay if you need a minute too. Sadly, I have yet to meet someone who doesn't have a troll or 2 they need to deal with. It is something we all figure out our own way to deal with. Some ways work better than others.

As much as I would love to give up, I can see where my lack of trying to get healthier and stronger (and thinner) leads. I have a living example of someone who stopped trying and that makes me not want it. I don't want to have to ask someone every day for a week to get the 8lbs of kitty litter out of the car. I don't want to have to ask someone to come put the tinsel on my tree for me. This is why I keep trying.

I know that first challenge, everyone does the "Do I belong here. Will I make it past the first one" and your doing great. You keep coming back too. While not all challenges are going to be perfect, you have hung around too and you found people to support you and I try to remember that slow is a good thing since it means the changes will stick.

I am getting there. I Know that. Its just frustrating when I really would like some more progress, but I think that is something we all understand.

 

16 hours ago, J3NN said:

I wish you a very blessed/merry/happy/abnosome Christmas and say cheers to you for all you do and have done!

 

I hope you have a good holiday as well. I hope to see you next challenge as well.

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Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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Grumble


So I am trying to work on what I want for a challenge. Christmas Day was full of reminders why I need to change which direction I am going in. I need to get healthy. I do not want to be unable to cook Christmas dinner. I do not want to need a stool to sit on while making mashed potatoes.

The question I have is HOW.

How do I get there? How do I get to losing the weight.? How do I conquer the chaos in my house and make it so I am not just pushing things around to make counter space to cook on?

I am feeling a bit defeated. I am feeling like there is no choice but accepting my destiny and following that path.

I can't come up with goals. I can't come up with a path here. What I am doing will help, but it needs more. So what do I do next?

 

Help me Rebels. Your my only hope.

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Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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1 minute ago, Bean Sidhe said:

What I am doing will help, but it needs more.

But does it need more now? Or can you find it within yourself to say "okay, I know I need more to hit my ultimate goals but right now I have no time to breathe so maybe the more can come later when I'll have the capacity to deal with it"? 

 

3 minutes ago, Bean Sidhe said:

I am feeling like there is no choice but accepting my destiny and following that path.

I can't come up with goals. I can't come up with a path here.

Nah, your destiny is to be fucking awesome, but there are hurdles in your way. You'll get there, just slowly. I feel like there's a LotR reference I could make but it's been like 15 years since I've watched/read any of them. Aaaanyway. Are there any goals from challenges this year that made you feel really fucking awesome when you did them? Eating certain foods, drinking more water? I know you did a lot of bodyweight exercises. What about doing those again? Or is there anything you feel like is missing that you need in your life right fucking now? That you think would be fun to do or a nice change or just something that would make you feel better physically or mentally? Maybe you don't need to find a path right now. Maybe you need to stop where you are and take few breaths to regroup. 

 

I would suggest a sleep goal, but I know your life is insane. Yoga or meditation? Journaling a few minutes every day just to get some thoughts out? Hang up a pillowcase or sack full of old pillows/fabric in the garage so you can beat the everloving shit out of it when you need to work off some adrenaline?

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2 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

Grumble


So I am trying to work on what I want for a challenge. Christmas Day was full of reminders why I need to change which direction I am going in. I need to get healthy. I do not want to be unable to cook Christmas dinner. I do not want to need a stool to sit on while making mashed potatoes.

The question I have is HOW.

How do I get there? How do I get to losing the weight.? How do I conquer the chaos in my house and make it so I am not just pushing things around to make counter space to cook on?

 

And I want to look like Angelina Jolie did 20 years ago, but that's not going to happen either. :) 

 

I promise I'm not making fun of you. I'm trying, in my less than tactful way, to suggest that too much focus on where you want to go, can make it impossible to get there. You are not going to wake up tomorrow and discover that you have lost all the weight, that the chaos is forever gone, and that your destiny to be awesome has arrived. But that's okay. Small baby steps forward are considered great victories in this fight.

 

I may be over-analyzing, but I have gotten the impression that's the part your're struggling with. You're focusing on perfection and by doing so turning it into the enemy of the good in your life. You had to sit on a stool to make mashed potatoes, yes, but you made them. And I bet they were considerably better than mine are (Mine get unevenly lumpy and taste of cashews. Long story.).

 

I'm going to suggest you take a moment to read the words below (lightly edited), written in another thread by a very wise and caring person, who has been a source of great comfort and support for several other Rebels throughout this December challenge:

 

1 hour ago, Bean Sidhe said:

I say do what you think you can and want to do. I would love to say I need to lose 100+ lbs this year, and it could be doable, but I would not enjoy the process. So focus on maybe 20-30 lbs which is more doable and allows a bit more flexibility for if you do change countries.
 

As far as how to look at it. I am trying to be nicer to me. I am trying to remember 10 leg lifts when I know I Can do 30 or 50 is still better than 0 leg lifts. It's all about doing SOMETHING other than sitting around and doing nothing.

I say keep the streak alive, even if its a maintain and cement this sucker while working on what you want to do for the rest of the year. Maybe even make part of the challenge "Spend X time a day figuring out what I want to do this year" is a reasonable goal.

 

Don't be so hard on yourself. You deserve all that comfort and kindness too. :) 

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14 hours ago, fleaball said:

But does it need more now? Or can you find it within yourself to say "okay, I know I need more to hit my ultimate goals but right now I have no time to breathe so maybe the more can come later when I'll have the capacity to deal with it"? 

 

Yes and No. I could wait, but that is how I got here. I spent 10+ years doing "I only have the kids home now, I can wait. I am too busy to eat, I will eat later. I am too busy to brush my teeth, I will do it later." The laters are catching up. I am in the middle of paying my dues on the teeth. I am on meds I don't like for the weight. If i keep pushing to later, I may never get where I need to be, then I will be the one at 400 lbs and asking for help with lifting 8 lbs of cat litter. Or only being able to buy a 6 pk of water bottles since I can't get them off the shelf or into the car.

 

14 hours ago, fleaball said:

Nah, your destiny is to be fucking awesome, but there are hurdles in your way. You'll get there, just slowly. I feel like there's a LotR reference I could make but it's been like 15 years since I've watched/read any of them. Aaaanyway. Are there any goals from challenges this year that made you feel really fucking awesome when you did them? Eating certain foods, drinking more water? I know you did a lot of bodyweight exercises. What about doing those again? Or is there anything you feel like is missing that you need in your life right fucking now? That you think would be fun to do or a nice change or just something that would make you feel better physically or mentally? Maybe you don't need to find a path right now. Maybe you need to stop where you are and take few breaths to regroup. 

 

Honestly, I am still doing like 90% of my goals from previous challenges. I stopped marking it on here, but I am doing them. The big goal for me is to figure out how to eventually add enough little changes that in the end, I am doing a serious work out every day. That these little "5 minutes" add up and I am doing a real workout every day. As far as what I am missing, I don't know. I know I need to work on my core, but I don't know what to add. I know I need to feel stronger, I just don't know how. I need to feel like I am not living in a pile of mess, but I am not sure what to tackle next. I want to stop and regroup. I want to say "Okay, I am good" but I am not yet at a point where I feel I can. Especially when I know if I don't get things like my BP under control by April, the doctor is going to change my meds, and that scares me since I have really bad reactions to meds.

 

14 hours ago, fleaball said:

I would suggest a sleep goal, but I know your life is insane. Yoga or meditation? Journaling a few minutes every day just to get some thoughts out? Hang up a pillowcase or sack full of old pillows/fabric in the garage so you can beat the everloving shit out of it when you need to work off some adrenaline?

 

I was thinking of setting a bedtime. More because Hubby won't go to bed without me since he is afraid I will pull all nighters. But determining a "That's it, your done now" time is the hard part. The yoga I kinda do in my stretching. Maybe I need to look into more, but it would probably be adding one more pose and not a timed aspect. again, add one more thing a day, so its not as overwhelming.

I love the pillowsack idea.

 

Yay, ideas. I am going to keep working on this. Thank you flea

 

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Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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13 hours ago, scalyfreak said:

 

And I want to look like Angelina Jolie did 20 years ago, but that's not going to happen either. :) 

 

I promise I'm not making fun of you. I'm trying, in my less than tactful way, to suggest that too much focus on where you want to go, can make it impossible to get there. You are not going to wake up tomorrow and discover that you have lost all the weight, that the chaos is forever gone, and that your destiny to be awesome has arrived. But that's okay. Small baby steps forward are considered great victories in this fight.

 

I know this isn't an overnight thing. I really do. I just struggle with the fact that I feel like I am flailing wildly and not making any progress. I did it before, I just need to remember how. Part of me is just sitting here going "everything I am doing isn't working. There is no real difference in the weight since I gained it from that surgery" and its frustrating. I know I didn't clean the basement overnight, but over 18 months. I know I wasn't at 100 sit ups a day overnight, but again, its something I wish I could do better at.

 

13 hours ago, scalyfreak said:

I may be over-analyzing, but I have gotten the impression that's the part your're struggling with. You're focusing on perfection and by doing so turning it into the enemy of the good in your life. You had to sit on a stool to make mashed potatoes, yes, but you made them. And I bet they were considerably better than mine are (Mine get unevenly lumpy and taste of cashews. Long story.).

 

First off, I didn't sit on the stool. The family member I am afraid of becoming did. The one who taught me moms had to be fat to be good moms. The one who will tear down others when they are down. That is who I am afraid of becoming. We are talking 400 lbs of "You will never do it.  Why try?" That is constantly fed to me. Jokes about my goals, and reminders that My knees will never hold up to running a 5K, or that 100% isn't good enough (Because didn't you do the extra credit).  That is what I faced at Christmas.  And now I am dealing with the aftermath

That being said, I know why I feel I must be perfect. and why I don't have another option. Its all in the paragraph above. I am struggling with remembering that perfect isn't where I need to be, but it is a journey I work on too. That is just not one I work on here. 

 

13 hours ago, scalyfreak said:

I'm going to suggest you take a moment to read the words below (lightly edited), written in another thread by a very wise and caring person, who has been a source of great comfort and support for several other Rebels throughout this December challenge:

 

*Hugs* Thank you for reminding me that I count as a rebel. I do need to be nicer to me. I guess part of me is just trying to use the "OMG, Jan is a fresh start" to get moving forward instead of feeling stuck. Problem is, I know what the "perfect dream" goals are but I am not sure how to reach them. I am generally the planner, but this is one of those times, I wish I could just say "Hey, heres some money, make a plan for me."

 

13 hours ago, scalyfreak said:

 

Don't be so hard on yourself. You deserve all that comfort and kindness too. :) 

 

Thanks, I am trying. The problem is, I am use to being the one that people are hard on, so I expect the same out of myself.

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Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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24 minutes ago, Bean Sidhe said:

First off, I didn't sit on the stool. The family member I am afraid of becoming did. The one who taught me moms had to be fat to be good moms. The one who will tear down others when they are down. That is who I am afraid of becoming. We are talking 400 lbs of "You will never do it.  Why try?" That is constantly fed to me. Jokes about my goals, and reminders that My knees will never hold up to running a 5K, or that 100% isn't good enough (Because didn't you do the extra credit).  That is what I faced at Christmas.  And now I am dealing with the aftermath

 

Okay, stupid question time: Why are you spending time with this person?

 

What you're describing sounds a lot like a form of emotional abuse, and there doesn't seem to be any good reason for why you should willingly walk into their blast radius and allow them to do this to you. And for the record, regardless of where you are on your life journey, you're a lot better than this abusive individual. That's a huge victory for you. (As well as a reasonable explanation for why they keep treating you the way they do - your existence is a constant reminder of how much better they should have been, and that's the root of almost all personal resentment in the world.)

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“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

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37 minutes ago, scalyfreak said:

 

Okay, stupid question time: Why are you spending time with this person?

 

4 words : Close influential family member.

 

37 minutes ago, scalyfreak said:

What you're describing sounds a lot like a form of emotional abuse, and there doesn't seem to be any good reason for why you should willingly walk into their blast radius and allow them to do this to you. And for the record, regardless of where you are on your life journey, you're a lot better than this abusive individual. That's a huge victory for you. (As well as a reasonable explanation for why they keep treating you the way they do - your existence is a constant reminder of how much better they should have been, and that's the root of almost all personal resentment in the world.)

 

It took me years to get to where I didn't think everyone';s family is like this. Now, I am at the "Yep, they are being a jerk" and while most of that was over the last few years (its never more than 3-4 a visit)I do see what its doing. However, The person is only really bad when they are torn down, and I am the good child, so I can't leave at this point. However, they are also the reason the Agents understand what Chosen family is since they know the chosen family is only to build you up. And they are the ones who remind me I am not what I hear. So its a balancing act. Most days, I can keep it from getting to me, but some days, I know why I am the way I am. So yeah, its not as easy as just walking away. Not yet. One day, maybe, but not yet.

 

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Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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10 minutes ago, Bean Sidhe said:

 

4 words : Close influential family member.

 

 

Those are the worst. ;)

 

Having an opposing influence like a chosen family, that counters the bad one is critical to balancing someone like that. And so much easier and less messy than walking away too, particularly if there's a group of others also involved and impacted. (Side-note: A friend of mine uses the terms bio-family and "real family", on the grounds that the term has nothing to do with DNA to begin with. Dealing with the first of the two is considerably easier if you have the second close by.)

 

Good luck with the balancing act! Reaching out to hold on to someone to keep from falling is not cheating! It's support. :)

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Book Riot Challenge 2021

“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scaly Freak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29; Ch 30

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32 minutes ago, scalyfreak said:

 

Those are the worst. ;)

 

Having an opposing influence like a chosen family, that counters the bad one is critical to balancing someone like that. And so much easier and less messy than walking away too, particularly if there's a group of others also involved and impacted. (Side-note: A friend of mine uses the terms bio-family and "real family", on the grounds that the term has nothing to do with DNA to begin with. Dealing with the first of the two is considerably easier if you have the second close by.)

 

Good luck with the balancing act! Reaching out to hold on to someone to keep from falling is not cheating! It's support. :)

 

Pretty much, I can't walk away right now. I am aware of that. However, I am able to find ways to cope and hopefully stay grounded. I know more about what is going on with my chosen brothers and sisters than my blood brother. Those chosen family know my kids as well as I do and can help with Eldest is having a moment or when Youngest needs a shoulder. My bio brother, Would panic and run at either.
 

Like I said, I see what i can become, I am trying to avoid it. Part of that is finding a different path that doesn't lead where that one did. So back to me trying to come up with a challenge....

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Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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So I am stuck. I hadn't planned on doing a new challenge yet. In fact, I was going to milk this one along a bit longer until at least the end of the 3rd Christmas (2 more weeks) but I feel odd about it. I mean in theory, it should be fine, but for some reason, I feel like i need to switch over. I mean I have been working on goals, but not sure why.

Maybe in my head I said this would go longer, but nothing goes past Christmas. Nothing is planned out past Christmas. But as I sit here puttering at making a new challenge, I feel kinda like swapping so I can focus on doing well with 3 more big christmas things coming up. And a birthday party.

I just need one more nutrition goal. I was going to track breakfast and 2nd breakfast, but I don't know now. I was going to say no sugar, but there are too many days I can see between christmases weddings ect, to do that.

I found one more stretch, I found one more body weight, but the nutrition is going to be the hard one. Something I can do easily and at the same time, not stress over too much. and if not nutrition, then what do I do.

Part of this is me really not wanting to go to the dentist today. I am not going to lie, I just don't wanna. But at least I am doing something productive.

And I have no real theme, so I am probably going to go back to walking through the forest.

What I have so far:

Goals

Life/Family 3.5

Spend Time with Agents (1 pt)

Plan (1 pt)

1 good thing – keep positive  (1 pt)

Check seedlings ( ½ pt).

Walking 2.5

                10,500 steps (1 pt)

                Walk 15 minutes (either on treadmill or an actual walk, not just the longer short way to school). (1 pt)

Walk to Mordor (1/2 pt)

Strength 2

                Balance ball pushups (1 pt)

                Continue other exercises (1 pt)

                                Leg lifts

                                Sit ups

                                Reverse sit ups

                                Push ups

Flexibility 2 pts

                Continue other stretches (1 pt)

                                Yoga (dog and child)

                                Butterfly

                                Toe Touch/Ballet

                                Wrist extention

                ** Meditating Groot ( 1 pt)

 Nutrition

                120 oz water (1 pt)

                Log breakfast and second breakfast 1 pt**

Fighting Chaos 3

                At least 5 minutes in at least one room (1 pt)

                                Computer room

                                Bedroom

                                Basement

                Keep current surfaces clean (1 pt)

                                Island/Pennisula

                                Bathroom up and down

                                Table

                                desk

                Clean half wall (1 pt)



Why is this so hard. I can usually come up with SOMETHING...

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Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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Oy, Bean. I offer you all the Internet hugs you want. When you have time to read things that aren’t school-related, I’m sure @Wobbegong and I could offer a bunch of resources for dealing with emotional abuse and shitty families. Tank too, since he’s a wealth of information, but iirc his situation was a little different.

 

i hate quoting on my phone, so +1 to everything @scalyfreak said. 

 

I think a hard bedtime would be a good idea, especially since you have someone to hold you to it. Maybe swap that for the missing nutrition goal? And is there anything on your list you can delegate? I know you had a talk with the Agents recentlyish about helping out, right? Can you assign them each one of the rooms for 5-minute cleanings?

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2 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

Fighting Chaos 3

                At least 5 minutes in at least one room (1 pt)

                                Computer room

                                Bedroom

                                Basement

                Keep current surfaces clean (1 pt)

                                Island/Pennisula

                                Bathroom up and down

                                Table

                                desk

 

Wait.

 

In addition to you, there's a husband, three human agents and three or four animal ones living in your house with you, correct?

 

So why is the fight against chaos your individual goal, instead of an ongoing family project that everyone has to help with?

 

There's one of you and four of them... of all the things on your list, this should be an easy one to delegate. Unless you truly are a force of nature, at least 4/5 of the chaos is created by someone else, yet you are the one who takes it on? That seems very unfair.

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Book Riot Challenge 2021

“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scaly Freak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29; Ch 30

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13 hours ago, fleaball said:

Oy, Bean. I offer you all the Internet hugs you want. When you have time to read things that aren’t school-related, I’m sure @Wobbegong and I could offer a bunch of resources for dealing with emotional abuse and shitty families. Tank too, since he’s a wealth of information, but iirc his situation was a little different.

 

*hugs* I have known for at least a few years now that it wasn't the best situation. Honestly, I spent too long thinking this was normal and just adapted to it. Now, I know its a thing, I just deal with it.

 

13 hours ago, fleaball said:

i hate quoting on my phone, so +1 to everything @scalyfreak said. 


 

I think a hard bedtime would be a good idea, especially since you have someone to hold you to it. Maybe swap that for the missing nutrition goal? And is there anything on your list you can delegate? I know you had a talk with the Agents recentlyish about helping out, right? Can you assign them each one of the rooms for 5-minute cleanings?

 

I am starting to think the bedtime may not be a bad idea. The one that I had come up with I still need to do, but I think sleep may be more important.

As far as delegating I know this sounds weird, but I already have. Hubby does the dishes and cooking, and I assign him some of the more "monkey" work jobs that he admits he is better at (go buy the books from book order, take all this to the post office). And the Agents do have chores and things they are responsible for, but one needs constant reminders to do them.  THe 5 minute cleanings are more declutter/organizing, so if I give that to anyone else,  they will come ask me every minute "Where should this go? Should we keep this?"  so its not really worth moving it to someone else. Although I am working with Youngest Agent on her room in the 5 minute space. Honestly, this is a case where its faster if I do it.

  • Like 2

Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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13 hours ago, scalyfreak said:

 

Wait.

 

In addition to you, there's a husband, three human agents and three or four animal ones living in your house with you, correct?

 

In the house are 1 Hubby, 2 human Agents and 3 animal ones. So correct.

 

13 hours ago, scalyfreak said:

So why is the fight against chaos your individual goal, instead of an ongoing family project that everyone has to help with?

 

The short answer. I have to pick battles when asking Agents to help declutter. I have one that hates the idea of putting toys in storage or giving them away (I blame toy story 3). I have one that needs to keep every scrap of yarn and paper because she may use them. So, most of the 5 minute rooms are declutter organizing that I am lucky sometimes if they return the way they find it. We are working on this, but its still a process.

 

13 hours ago, scalyfreak said:

There's one of you and four of them... of all the things on your list, this should be an easy one to delegate. Unless you truly are a force of nature, at least 4/5 of the chaos is created by someone else, yet you are the one who takes it on? That seems very unfair.

 For the clean the surfaces, Hubby sometimes gets to before me, especially if I am studying. Then I just make sure it gets done and cross it off. However, Hubby does the dishes and the cooking. Eldest puts said dishes away, brings down laundry and worries about animals. Youngest takes out recycling, cleans up the mess made by her and her friend every am and randomly will clean all the things. Part of it is also, they have to be home. Most activities run until 5 (one runs until 6). Then its get home, homework, dinner and then in bed by 7:30 since they have to be up at 5:15 every morning. And most of the activities are really good for one of them who hates people but asked to go be around people on a regular basis.

  • Like 2

Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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On 12/26/2017 at 5:15 PM, Bean Sidhe said:

Help me Rebels. Your my only hope.

I am only two days late and I feel like you've moved way past this, but I had some thoughts to share, so I hope you don't mind a little back-tracking. :)

 

Re: workouts, have you seen Darebee? https://darebee.com/ They have programs and workouts and take all the thinking out of it. They even have videos and instructions sheets on form. I'm going to try some of their stuff this next challenge just so I don't have to think and can keep trying to move my body.

 

Re: that feeling of blah I have two things.

  1. Have you considered journaling to track more specifically what you're doing, when your'e doing it, how you're doing it, so you can look at the trends and then see some room for improvement? I know a lot of productivity experts that say to write down everything you do for three days (or up to 7) to get a good idea for how your life is working. Then you have data to work with and can see areas that are working and areas that aren't so you can start tweaking things so that more areas are working. This also works for health and fitness. Track your diet and then your symptoms, or your exercises and your symptoms. You may find out that if you eat dairy in 6 hours you're going to have a burst of energy (or the opposite) or if you sleep 5 hours, you'll be dragging by 11, but if you sleep 6 hours you'll make it through the whole day fine. Here are a couple links to some journal templates. Nutrition Journal and Take A Personal Inventory of How You Are Spending Your Time. It might be an interesting thing to include in your challenge so that you can come up with some ideas for future challenges that may feel more relevant and meaningful.
  2. One thing I learned personally through my own reflection was that while I was doing the challenge each month and felt like I was definitely doing stuff, I didn't feel like I was "leveling up." I'm still struggling with this, but one thing I'm trying is that I'm making bigger goals and breaking them down so that I can focus on a little bit each challenge. With each successful challenge I'll be that much closer to the big goal finale. So it's not leveling up in the traditional way, but it's breaking things down into bite size chunks while still having a big picture to work towards. It might be something worth considering for you as well.
    1. You had two things specifically, losing weight and housekeeping, those can both be big picture goals that can break down challenge by challenge. But you have to look at things in a different perspective. Take a quarter, three months, and see what you could reasonably accomplish in that time-frame then break it down over the course of the three challenges. When you reach that goal at the end, give yourself a reward, you'll have earned it! I'm also tackling both of those things. I'm starting with the elimination diet to cleanse and find out what foods do to my body, and I'm journaling that so I can really learn instead of guess. For my house, I'm following the Fly Lady and doing her baby steps program which is 31 days of building habits that will help keep the house clean. But I've broken it down further. I'm focusing on only the master bedroom/bathroom. I don't want to go crazy here, so I need to do what's reasonable. My long term goal is to have a decluttered clean master bedroom space that will be conducive to healthy living, sleeping well and special time with my hubby. For my weight loss goal, I haven't set a goal there, I'm waiting to see what I learn from the diet to find out what will be reasonable, but I want to use either measurements or clothing sizes and not weight as my metric.

Okay, that was really long, sorry about that, but I thought there might be something in there that would inspire or help you. Good luck to you!

  • Like 3

J3NN

Current Challenge || Challenges: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9  10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17  18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25

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3 hours ago, J3NN said:

I am only two days late and I feel like you've moved way past this, but I had some thoughts to share, so I hope you don't mind a little back-tracking. :)

2 days isn't that bad. And feel free to bring up things we may have moved past. If I put it in here, I am looking for other opinions. So feel free to bring up something from last month if you see something I don't.

 

 

3 hours ago, J3NN said:

Re: workouts, have you seen Darebee? https://darebee.com/ They have programs and workouts and take all the thinking out of it. They even have videos and instructions sheets on form. I'm going to try some of their stuff this next challenge just so I don't have to think and can keep trying to move my body.

I have heard of darebee. The problem I have is some of the stuff I am just not strong or flexibile enough to do yet. The second part is that darn time thing. I looked at the work out for today. For a normal day (aka, we are back in school, and homework and things) then I will have time to add 1 of those exercises to my day. Not all 6. Especially if I am suppose to be doing sets of them (so 60 instead of 20 of each).

 

 

3 hours ago, J3NN said:

Re: that feeling of blah I have two things.

  1. Have you considered journaling to track more specifically what you're doing, when your'e doing it, how you're doing it, so you can look at the trends and then see some room for improvement? I know a lot of productivity experts that say to write down everything you do for three days (or up to 7) to get a good idea for how your life is working. Then you have data to work with and can see areas that are working and areas that aren't so you can start tweaking things so that more areas are working. This also works for health and fitness. Track your diet and then your symptoms, or your exercises and your symptoms. You may find out that if you eat dairy in 6 hours you're going to have a burst of energy (or the opposite) or if you sleep 5 hours, you'll be dragging by 11, but if you sleep 6 hours you'll make it through the whole day fine. Here are a couple links to some journal templates. Nutrition Journal and Take A Personal Inventory of How You Are Spending Your Time. It might be an interesting thing to include in your challenge so that you can come up with some ideas for future challenges that may feel more relevant and meaningful.

 

I have thought about journalling for nutrition and for the blah. But the thing that concerns me most is the time. I eat lunch most days in the car between work and picking up Youngest Agent. I eat Breakfast in the car on the way to work. The time thing sounds really intriguing, but . I would almost feel like i Need to inventory as I go what I am doing each day. I mean I Know from 5:15-6 is get everyone up and dressed and dog out. 6-630 is nerd board time. 630-645 is lunches, 645-715 is extra kid in the house, more nerd time if needed, or other jobs that need done (homework, ect). 715-740 is walk kids to school ( 715-730 if driving). then 745-8 is finish packing up and load car. 8-820 is drop off Eldest, then 820-830 is get me to work, then work is a different monster (depending on the day and the week) then it changes daily. But generally I can be multitasking on things done in those time tables. It idea of trying to find time to look at my time is a bit overwhelming. Maybe next challenge when I am not facing the back to school headaches.

 

3 hours ago, J3NN said:
  1. One thing I learned personally through my own reflection was that while I was doing the challenge each month and felt like I was definitely doing stuff, I didn't feel like I was "leveling up." I'm still struggling with this, but one thing I'm trying is that I'm making bigger goals and breaking them down so that I can focus on a little bit each challenge. With each successful challenge I'll be that much closer to the big goal finale. So it's not leveling up in the traditional way, but it's breaking things down into bite size chunks while still having a big picture to work towards. It might be something worth considering for you as well.
    1. You had two things specifically, losing weight and housekeeping, those can both be big picture goals that can break down challenge by challenge. But you have to look at things in a different perspective. Take a quarter, three months, and see what you could reasonably accomplish in that time-frame then break it down over the course of the three challenges. When you reach that goal at the end, give yourself a reward, you'll have earned it! I'm also tackling both of those things. I'm starting with the elimination diet to cleanse and find out what foods do to my body, and I'm journaling that so I can really learn instead of guess. For my house, I'm following the Fly Lady and doing her baby steps program which is 31 days of building habits that will help keep the house clean. But I've broken it down further. I'm focusing on only the master bedroom/bathroom. I don't want to go crazy here, so I need to do what's reasonable. My long term goal is to have a decluttered clean master bedroom space that will be conducive to healthy living, sleeping well and special time with my hubby. For my weight loss goal, I haven't set a goal there, I'm waiting to see what I learn from the diet to find out what will be reasonable, but I want to use either measurements or clothing sizes and not weight as my metric.

Okay, that was really long, sorry about that, but I thought there might be something in there that would inspire or help you. Good luck to you!

Ideally, I know that the end goal is to get my degree and a full time job, lose at least 100+ lbs and be stronger/healthier and maybe even get off my BP med, and not feel like my house is so cluttered, so fifthly that I am afraid to have people over without warning. That everything has a home, so it is not up to mom on "where is this".  Those are the big goals. However, I know I only have maybe 5 minutes a day (in general) to add new things. I mean I went from doing nothing to now every day I do sit ups, leg lifts, plank, reverse sit ups, warriors, yoga, stretches, incline push ups, wall push ups, regular push ups.  In 18 months of 5 minute chunks, I took a basement you could bare walk in and made it a functional space. its just time and sometimes, I  just have no idea what the next step should be. They don't make work out plans for people who need to work in such small time frames. Usually they do "20 minutes, or 30 minutes a day" I don't have time for that. I kinda use fly lady for the house (aka, focus on this surface this challenge, now add another) but again, I can't do too much. I know in the time I have been doing this, I have reached much further. I mean this time last year I was only doing the computer room 5 minutes, 100 oz of water, 10000 steps, and wall pushups and cleaning the table. But I really would love someone to just "Here is  your next set of steps." Plus, it takes a ton longer to not only see results but to make progress this way. But trying to do too much more, I would give up. Because at the end of the day. the family and the degree for the family is the important parts, and I let myself go because I was taking care of the family. I let the house fall apart to take care of the family. Now I am left cashing int he things that I said I would do later. I will exercise later, I will deal with the papers from Kindergarten later (Hes a freshman). I will find a home for this thing later. I will put this away later.

There are no more laters. I need to do this, or I Need to accept it won't happen. So here is to no more "laters"

  • Like 3

Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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tumblr_inline_ngluk5yWfn1r261l0.gif


The librarians have returned. They are grateful for my help in standing guard over the library. However, that means I also need to head back out into forest to walk forward.


This challenge could of gone better, but considering the month, it could of been much much worse. I guess I need to focus on doing better than nothing at all. Time to head back out into the snow and try making progress following the path to getting better.

Next challenge

 

  • Like 2

Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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Hi,

5 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

I mean I went from doing nothing to now every day I do sit ups, leg lifts, plank, reverse sit ups, warriors, yoga, stretches, incline push ups, wall push ups, regular push ups.  In 18 months of 5 minute chunks, I took a basement you could bare walk in and made it a functional space.

This randomly came on the internet radio and so I had to share:

5 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

The problem I have is some of the stuff I am just not strong or flexibile enough to do yet. The second part is that darn time thing.

OK, so I found this on their site, and it makes it easier to find exercises for beginners. My two cents...

  1. Go to the Darebee.com site
  2. Click on Workouts
  3. You'll see a handy dandy filter here, go down to difficulty and select 1 - light (or higher, if you want to challenge yourself)
  4. This is still a lot, so I filtered further, because I knew I wanted to focus on easier stuff; filter to the things that work for you.
  5. Now find and print out the workout and post it somewhere. I picked 4, 2 each upper/lower so I can alternate. The workouts I found were only minutes, one of them is only 2 minutes... Also, they're flexible. If they want you to do a billion sets. Break it down and do what you can fit in the 5 min you have. Maybe for you one circuit is one of each exercise. It's better than nothing right?
5 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

But the thing that concerns me most is the time. ... Maybe next challenge when I am not facing the back to school headaches.

 

Absolutely, you must do what works for you at the right time... It was just an idea I had that may help you find a direction. 

 

5 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

I know that the end goal is to get my degree and a full time job, lose at least 100+ lbs and be stronger/healthier and maybe even get off my BP med, and not feel like my house is so cluttered, so fifthly that I am afraid to have people over without warning. That everything has a home, so it is not up to mom on "where is this". 

 

5 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

But I really would love someone to just "Here is  your next set of steps."

 

This is what I would do for your goals:

  1. Get Degree
    1. Figure out how many classes you have left
    2. Put homework in every challenge, like you already do
    3. Create a grid for you to cross off each class as you finish it. Maybe you can make the grid in the shape of a graduation cap, and you cross the classes off you'll be filling in that graduation cap and getting closer every challenge. 
    4. Walk down that aisle and across that stage to get your fake diploma and celebrate like crazy
    5. Hang your real diploma when you finally get it somewhere prominent for you as a reminder of your accomplishments
  2. Get Full Time Job (Fair warning: I haven't looked for a job in 20 years so I could be way  off on this one)
    1. Pending completion of get degree goal
    2. You'll need to polish your resume to add your new accomplishment; I recommend a cover letter too
    3. Sign up for notifications on job boards to be notified when a job you're wanting is available
    4. Check email regularly to get notifications (like daily, not hourly)
    5. Apply for jobs
    6. Attend interviews
    7. Negotiate job offer
    8. Accept job
  3. Lose 100 lbs (get off meds)
    1. Depending on how long you wan to take to do this, numbers may change
    2. There are 10 challenges, so if you want to lose the weight in one year, that's average of 10lbs a challenge.
    3. You know what works for you to lose weight, cut calories, increase exercise, yada yada
  4. Have everything in my house have a home
    1. I've been thinking about this one... I think I would personally break it down into one room/level per challenge
    2. For the challenge I'd set a reasonable time limit per day, or average per week. FlyLady says 15 minutes, but if that's not reasonable, do 5
    3. For bonus throw in extra 27-fling boogies in that room or even in other rooms if you're really feeling ambitious

There you have it, completely unusable, but some next steps for you... Feel free to use or abuse as you see fit. I'll be there for the next challenge!

  • Like 4

J3NN

Current Challenge || Challenges: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9  10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17  18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25

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16 hours ago, J3NN said:

Hi,

This randomly came on the internet radio and so I had to share:

 

 

Okay, first off, thank you for the song. And between talking to you about the fact I have made progress (even if its slow and painful) and people asking about the 5 minutes a day thing, I am seeing the forward progress here. Not as fast as I would like, and the scale isn't moving, but there is progress elsewhere, and I need to remember that its not all going to be overnight. I love the song by the way. I may have to find that now.
 

Quote

 

OK, so I found this on their site, and it makes it easier to find exercises for beginners. My two cents...

  1. Go to the Darebee.com site
  2. Click on Workouts
  3. You'll see a handy dandy filter here, go down to difficulty and select 1 - light (or higher, if you want to challenge yourself)
  4. This is still a lot, so I filtered further, because I knew I wanted to focus on easier stuff; filter to the things that work for you.
  5. Now find and print out the workout and post it somewhere. I picked 4, 2 each upper/lower so I can alternate. The workouts I found were only minutes, one of them is only 2 minutes... Also, they're flexible. If they want you to do a billion sets. Break it down and do what you can fit in the 5 min you have. Maybe for you one circuit is one of each exercise. It's better than nothing right?

Absolutely, you must do what works for you at the right time... It was just an idea I had that may help you find a direction. 

 

This is a great idea. I still like using the same ones over and over again, since then it does show the progress, but maybe it will give me an idea of what to do for future challenges. Especially when I am stuck in the "what do I do next."
 

 

Quote

This is what I would do for your goals:

 

 

There you have it, completely unusable, but some next steps for you... Feel free to use or abuse as you see fit. I'll be there for the next challenge!

First off, this is usable since this is steps. And sometimes that is where I get stuck. I am doing things, but don't always knwo what the next step is. For each group, see below.

 

  1. Get Degree
    1. Figure out how many classes you have left - Done, I have 36 credit hours left,  which is about 6 semesters based on my current rate of schooling (if I take a half load of my current load over summers).
    2. Put homework in every challenge, like you already do This doesn't even make challenges since it takes priority to most things.
    3. Create a grid for you to cross off each class as you finish it. Maybe you can make the grid in the shape of a graduation cap, and you cross the classes off you'll be filling in that graduation cap and getting closer every challenge.  - I have a spreadsheet. It even calculates how long I have left for me. So I am on step 3.
    4. Walk down that aisle and across that stage to get your fake diploma and celebrate like crazy Not going to lie, this is why I chose a school close enough to walk at.
    5. Hang your real diploma when you finally get it somewhere prominent for you as a reminder of your accomplishments
  1. Get Full Time Job (Fair warning: I haven't looked for a job in 20 years so I could be way  off on this one) Your ahead of me, I am still working a job I got out of high school since my mom was friends with my boss. I have worked there almost 20 years now. (so step 2 here. And I can't work on any of this until Youngest gets a bit older, daycare is EXPENSIVE)
    1. Pending completion of get degree goal
    2. You'll need to polish your resume to add your new accomplishment; I recommend a cover letter too I need to write one. I don't actually have anything
    3. Sign up for notifications on job boards to be notified when a job you're wanting is available
    4. Check email regularly to get notifications (like daily, not hourly)
    5. Apply for jobs
    6. Attend interviews
    7. Negotiate job offer
    8. Accept job
  2. Lose 100 lbs (get off meds) This is not realistic this year. Current goal is to get to 275. Then it will be 250. But the steps are still the same.
    1. Depending on how long you wan to take to do this, numbers may change Honestly, if I can get the 11 lbs I need by my birthday (end of challenge) I would be over the moon, however, spring break in March is more realistic.
    2. There are 10 challenges, so if you want to lose the weight in one year, that's average of 10lbs a challenge.
    3. You know what works for you to lose weight, cut calories, increase exercise, yada yada This is where I get stuck sometimes. Sometimes the things that work for me work, sometimes they don't, I mean I have been off soda for over 500 days, and I never lost anything out of it. The hope is the exercise (and maybe calorie counting next challenge) will push things more. If not, I will at least be a strong fat person.
  3. Have everything in my house have a home
    1. I've been thinking about this one... I think I would personally break it down into one room/level per challenge  This is what I have been doing. I can't get to a level a challenge, but rooms are working. And sometimes when I am stuck on what to do next, swapping to another room helps. Part is sometimes rooms get stuck at a point where I need another family member, to go through their stuff with me. That is like pulling teeth.
    2. For the challenge I'd set a reasonable time limit per day, or average per week. FlyLady says 15 minutes, but if that's not reasonable, do 5 I say 5 minutes, but that is mostly to get me started. Sometimes it is 2 minutes (if that is all I have time for) sometimes its 15-20. So I am doing this too.
    3. For bonus throw in extra 27-fling boogies in that room or even in other rooms if you're really feeling ambitious Actually I started doing the One a day - 365 clutter Experiment a year maybe 2 ago. Sadly, we still have stuff to purge, but its helping a ton and its keeping me from getting overwhelmed with "where do I start". Sometimes I am throwing out old menus off the fridge, sometimes its a melted spatula or a shirt I will never wear again. Most go to charity if I can, but some do go in the trash.
  • Like 2

Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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