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On 11/23/2017 at 12:22 PM, Ensi said:

 

Just remember to book in some rest days. They're super important for ze mental health!

 

I'm taking trigonometry and probability classes. After finishing them, I will probably be able to tell if some shape is a triangle or not.

Ah yes, rest days! i took one wednesday and some of thursday :D. of course now with two days of weekend staring down at me and not that many of my assignments done i'm starting to feel Regret (tm). 

On 11/23/2017 at 8:30 PM, maegs said:

Spooky!

How was the cake you made?

maegs <3! it was good! i didn't have solid chocolate and i used extra cocoa powder with sort of messed with the texture a bit but it was still tasty :D

 

On 11/24/2017 at 12:48 AM, NeverThatBored said:

SPOOOOOOOOKY!! Hello!! Welcome back!! 

NTB!!! HI!!!! thank you! <3

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7 hours ago, Ensi said:

I I really like the idea of toughening up. I don't want to perform well only under perfect circumstances - I want to be that person who adapts, survives and thrives, no matter what life has in store. 

Ensi posted this in her challenge and I'm thinking about it a lot this morning. Especially in the context of my life these past couple of weeks. 

 

It's been a pretty tough time personally. Two weeks ago I had a Wednesday through Tuesday that was just...absolute hell. A constant stream of small and big things going wrong. in chronological order below the cut:



-the person i wanted to advise my senior essay had too many thesis projects on his plate and couldn't

-issues with a bank money transfer

-finding out my grandmother was in the hospital 

-finding out the cat that i took in because she was being neglected to the point of animal abuse had fleas and that i had to treat her and clean my whole house

-realizing i didn't have enough money to treat her and my own cat because of aforementioned money transfer issues

-figuring out the money situation and then having a nightmare with zipcar where i got lost, was late to return it, it wouldn't turn on since i was past my reservation leaving me stranded, and on top of that they over charged me late fees including the time i was on the phone with their representative. this exchange included: "can you get back by 6pm" *sees clock stike six while on call* "unless you've invented teleportation that's not physically possible. if it was i wouldn't need your service"

-getting scratched applying flea meds and spending six hours cleaning everything 

-finding out my grandmother passed away (sunday morning)

-still having papers that were due monday and tuesday ( i can fully blame my own stubbornness for not wanting to ask for extensions as i'd asked for extensions on my last papers because i had the stomach flu.)

-not being able to go home for my grandmother's funeral

if you read that list...it was A Week. somehow i still got all my homework done and found time to be sad. under some of the shittiest circumstances i managed to deal with being overwhelmed and accomplish the things i needed to. is my house currently a mess? absolutely. am i overwhelmed with work? you bet. but...clearly i've figured it out at other points. i honestly don't know what this post is doing other than providing myself a reminder. 

 

i've got a lot to do today and tomorrow so i'll be trying to think through that in my next post. just a heads up that that's probably a lot of what's going to happen in this thread. me, working through things. 

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Big things: 

  • what to do with Nancy 
    • either find someone to take care of her/stop by over break
    • or figure out how to fly with two cats, one who is an ESA and one who is...not currently an ESA (and might not be able to be one? i'm really not sure. this was not planned)
  • local vets (need to do this very soon!)
  • writing portfolio due december 6th
    • speaker reflection
    • revision
    • finish 2nd story
    • artists statement
  • story submission due december 4th
  • healthcare enrollment
  • CLEAN YOUR HOUSE

Today's things:

  • write more of second story (literally if you spend 30-45 minute that is fine, just some time!)
  • start revising 1st story (ditto the above! don't feel like you need to spend all day or it doesn't count!)
  • read 3 keats poems
  • tbd, some cleaning i hope
  • today is probably a good day to actually use your bullet journal on the weekend, self. 
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I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother passing. As for toughening up: You have a whole lot more going on than I currently do...! As in, things you don't have that much control over. I've had stress during the past few weeks, but I've been mostly in control of what's going on. You've done wonderfully with getting everything done - just allow yourself time to take it easy. No need to be a trooper here: get help, if you can! Ask for the extensions for papers, if you need them :) My toughening up isn't as much about blocking the pain out, but it's all about embracing it - I try not to shy away from uncomfortable feelings, like I have in the past. I've had this thought that being uncomfortable and struggling means that I'm doing something wrong, or that I'm stupid/weak. Just remember to stay open and allow people to help you :)

 

You're always welcome to PM me, if you need to talk about anything! I'm only partially Ron Swanson, so...

 

tumblr_inline_nmd042NtFU1slrvm0.gif

 

... even if he isn't interested, I am :D

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22 hours ago, spooky said:

. me, working through things. 

This right here is what being a Druid is all about.

Lots of love to you, @spooky. I understand the grief and am holding your hand through these days of Balance and Acceptance.

You are doing very well indeed. 

 

The house and chores will get sorted.

Much love,

H

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On 11/25/2017 at 10:48 AM, NeverThatBored said:

Wow, that is QUITE a week. 

Yeah it was certainly...something. But I'm getting by, and getting my stuff done. That's all I can really ask. 

On 11/26/2017 at 1:46 AM, Ensi said:

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother passing. As for toughening up: You have a whole lot more going on than I currently do...! As in, things you don't have that much control over. I've had stress during the past few weeks, but I've been mostly in control of what's going on. You've done wonderfully with getting everything done - just allow yourself time to take it easy. No need to be a trooper here: get help, if you can! Ask for the extensions for papers, if you need them :) My toughening up isn't as much about blocking the pain out, but it's all about embracing it - I try not to shy away from uncomfortable feelings, like I have in the past. I've had this thought that being uncomfortable and struggling means that I'm doing something wrong, or that I'm stupid/weak. Just remember to stay open and allow people to help you :)

 

You're always welcome to PM me, if you need to talk about anything! I'm only partially Ron Swanson, so...

 

tumblr_inline_nmd042NtFU1slrvm0.gif

 

... even if he isn't interested, I am :D

thanks for that, Ensi. I do think sometimes i let myself get worked up about small things, so it's more that I want to try and put certain events in perspective. Still acknowledge them, but also remember that I've found my way through worse. 

 

I will definitely take you up on the PM <4

On 11/26/2017 at 4:00 AM, deftona said:

What a stressful week, Spooky. I'm very sorry about your grandmother. <4

thanks, def <4. it was....a lot. there's a really bit about it though where i feel like the compressed time frame forced me to deal with it sooner than i might have otherwise. so i sort of had to deal with the feeling as it came, acknowledge it, and keep going. like there wasn't time to put it off. 

On 11/26/2017 at 7:01 AM, Heidi said:

This right here is what being a Druid is all about.

Lots of love to you, @spooky. I understand the grief and am holding your hand through these days of Balance and Acceptance.

You are doing very well indeed. 

 

The house and chores will get sorted.

Much love,

H

thank you so much, Heidi. As I saw this week, I'm not sure how much I'll be able to be here Monday-Thursday since that's when all my classes are and I get caught up in the rush (though that probably means checking in here is more important) but I'm still making it a goal to check in throughout the challenge. And to be kind to myself if I don't check in every day, but still make an effort to check in here when I can. This is supposed to be something to help myself, not another source of guilt. 

 

house is cleaner but there's still work to be done. i'd like to do 10 minutes or so of cleaning every day, but finals are coming up so those are my primary priority. 

 

<333

On 11/26/2017 at 7:04 AM, Heidi said:

You can't edit what you don't write.

 

Let it be awful, as long as you write it.

THIS IS TRUE. I have a full draft of one story, but it needs significant revision (which i've made headway on) and the other one I have plotted and will be finishing my draft today. My portfolio is due wednesday, so I'll be putting in a lot of extra work this weekend!

 

get it written, and then get it good :)

On 11/26/2017 at 10:41 AM, Terah said:

I'm sorry about your grandmother :( 

((hugs))

thanks, Terah <4. 

 

She as 96 and had a long life. She travelled the world and remained independent until the end. I think her quality of life had declined so much in the last year that she was just ready. I just wish I could have been there. 

On 11/26/2017 at 2:03 PM, DrFeelgood said:

You have my fond wishes and prayers, spooky.  May your grandmother's memory be a blessing.

Thank you <4. She was a special person and I'm glad I got to know her as well as I did. 

On 11/27/2017 at 10:40 AM, LadyShello said:

What a week Spooky.  Sorry to hear about your grandmother.  

Thanks Shello <4. It's a bit easier to deal with now, with some time. I'm sure I'll visit her as soon as i get home. 

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Just thinking things: 

 

IT'S DECEMBER. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN???

 

Anyways, I got a bit caught up in the rush of the week but I'm here! I don't have any classes on Fridays so I'll be doing a lot of productivity sprints and general life housekeeping. That's what my weekends end up being most of the time. I did use yesterday to mostly catch up on sleep though, which I needed. And then I had dinner with a friend which was really nice. We went over a big Drama(tm) thing that happened this week, details below: 

 

 

So one of my stories got workshopped a while ago, but I just wrote down the class discussion and suggestions rather than reading the critique letters. Well. I read them this week and one of them was ridiculously rude. I can deal with someone not liking my story, that's always going to happen. This was just outright insulting and there was no actual constructive criticism, just insults. So I transcribed it and sent an email to my professor who dealt with it really wonderfully. It'll be reflected in that person's grade because thoughtful, civil critiques are part of the syllabus. Usually the professor reads our critique letters before handing them back to the story writer, but my workshop was prior to a break so he handed them directly to me, since he wanted me to have that time to use them. He also offered to talk with this student, but only with my consent. There have definitely been stories I didn't like but I always make a point to mention things I thought they did well or compliment them on an ambitious choice, and then say what I wanted from the story as a reader. This critique was objectively insulting. If someone wants to see the text of it I can message it to you.

Anyways, by chance, we were workshopping that person's story this week. And it was...really bad. We had the option to opt out of reading it/attending workshop/writing a critique because it contains extreme violence and sexual assault. I scratched out the person's name and sent it to a few other writer friends to see if it was just my bias affecting my viewpoint but...no. I was going to just opt out but I indulged my pettiness for a moment and write a critique that was incredibly savage while also being constructive. Because that is possible. I did give it to my professor to read and told him if he felt it was too harsh then it would remain between us. He emailed me later saying he thought it was "5000% more constructive and thoughtful than [rude person] deserved given the content and tone of [their] critique." 

I'll be honest, I would have submitted this critique as part of my portfolio because I think it's that good. Could I have chosen not to engage? Absolutely. But given the context of my general non-confrontational attitude and my difficulties standing up for myself in the past, this felt like a victory. 

 

 

Got some essays back, did really well on one, pretty well on another. I'm going to put upcoming stuff in another post because this is my reflection bit, and the next will be "moving forward." 

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My To Do's. This got long so...spoilered. I have a lot to get done this weekend so that I'm in good shape during the week. I will be working in small pomodoro sprints because I don't need to spend as long on everything as my brain convinces me I need to. Take baby steps every day, get things done gradually rather than all at once. I want to check in quite a bit today so I keep myself on task. But also so I remember to take breaks. 

 

This Weekend:

 

 

Friday:

-Add new scenes to story 1

-Finish shitty draft of story 2

-shitty draft of essay

-Read half of Pt.2 of The Women by Hilton Als (25 of 50 pages)

-Keats reading and initial response outline

-Portfolio reading response

 
Saturday:

-reading response

-revise story 1 (time contained, not till "finished" because that is nebulous)

-revise story 2 (ditto the above)

-Read Villarosa Essay

-Finish Pt.2 of The Women


-essay draft revision 

 

-writer manifesto


Sunday:

-Revise story1 (same time constraint strategy)

-Revise story 2 (same time contraint strategy)

-Keats response

-Essay Revision

-Finish Keats reading
 

 

 

The Week Ahead

 

 

 

Monday

-Class (10:50 am)

-Class (1:20 pm)

-Reading Response, Keats

-Lecture on Alt-Right Ideology and the Middle Ages (4:30pm)

-Necropolitics of Waiting (6pm)

-Carol Phillips (8pm)

-There are a lot of talks I want to go to on Monday. I don't think I'll be able to do all of them, but I'm definitely going to the one at 4:30

-Remind Dad about paying J

 
Tuesday

-Class (8:50am), Take home final assigned

-Class (1:20pm)

-Essay and Portfolio due tomorrow


Wednesday

-Class (10:50am), Last chance to turn in reading response

-Class (1:20pm), Turn in Portfolio

-Essay Due by 5pm

-Portfolio Due in class
-CALL THE VET, order 2nd carrier (probably)

 

Thursday
-Class (8:50am) [LAST CLASS OF THE SEMESTER!!!!!]

-CALL THE VET IF I DIDN'T ALREADY

-Start Poetry Take Home Test (Due Dec. 15)

-Start Film Take Home Test (Due Dec. 15)



Friday

-All Day House Meeting: Elections (10:30am-10:30pm). I will probably only go for Chaplain elections. 

-Story and Essay Prize Submissions due by 5pm


Saturday:

-TBD, mostly work + sleep

 
Sunday

-work

-sleep

-apply Advantage flea meds

 

 

 

 

 

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i didn't get anything on my list done/finished but i worked on my first story pretty intensely. the plan is to wake up early tomorrow and camp out in the library for a bit. i'm still doing a bit tonight but if i beat myself up for not sticking ot my plan then i'll get overwhelmed and get nothing done. so i have to accept what i did do and then go from there. remain flexible. i did still work on something I needed to today. so i'm trying not to lose sight of that. 

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On 12/1/2017 at 3:23 PM, Ensi said:

 

It was extremely entertaining! In many ways :D Spooky is a wonderful, intelligent writer, and I know she's gonna go far!

THANKS ENSI <4 

 

honestly writing that critique was incredibly entertaining haha. 

18 hours ago, maegs said:

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. 

 

It sounds like you handled that drama incredibly well & maturely. And I bet writing that critique felt good ;) 

 

thanks, maegs <3

 

IT FELT REALLY GOOD. it also helps that my professor was wonderful and supportive throughout the whole thing. he's going to advise my senior project next semester and i'm very excited. we've also chatted about MFA programs because he went to the one I've been thinking about for a while and it's been really helpful!

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hey hey it's Sunday! I was definitely more productive yesterday. Am I where I hoped I'd be? No. But I got most of my reading for Monday and Tuesday done (just one more essay to read) drafted half of one of my essays, got close to finishing my second story draft, and started drafting my response paper. So I made progress on a lot of things! I have so many assignments that are due Wednesday that making sure I make progress on those now is extra important. 

 

So, here are my goals for today: 

 

-Finish Romantic Poetry Reading Response (~500 words, should take about 1.5-2 hours. This is what it usually takes me since these are short argumentative papers/analyses) 

-Finish Story 2 (approx 1 hour? I only have to more big plot moments to write as far as I have it right now) 

-Finish Story 1 revision. This has at least 3 scenes I still need to add. I want to prose outline them at the very least. That way at least plot matters will be handled and then I can focus on language over the next few days (time estimate: ???? maybe 1 hour for prose outline, more to finish writing it in full)

-Artists Statement (45 min)

-Reading Response for Portfolio (30-45 min)

-Villarosa Essay (30-45 min) 

-Finish drafting essay (1 hour, based on the fact it took me 1 hour to write half of a rough draft yesterday)

 

it's a lot but do-able if I use my time well and actually focus during the periods I'm working. 

 

this would put me in great shape for this week. I would have all of my tuesday reading done so I can focus on the essay revisions and story revisions tomorrow night. tuesday i'll have some more poetry reading but that'll be the only additional piece and that doesn't take that long. 

 

*cracks knuckles*

 

i'll be checking in !

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