Rey of Light's Journey: Nascence

[FatboySuave]

Nascence: (Noun) A coming into being; a beginning.

 

Introduction: I'm back. It's been a while, so allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Richard and I'm a newspaper editor who loves hip hop, board games and hiking. (For my origin, check out my battle log.) I'm a wordy person, so here's your spoiler warning that I tend to ramble quite a bit. I used to go by EternalJourno, but I renamed myself a while back as Rey of Light. Rey is Spanish for king and obviously a play on the word "ray." The idea was to rebrand myself as a being or force of light and positivity, which has been hard to incorporate into my life lately. I've been dealing with depression and anxiety, but I finally started seeing a therapist and psychologist a few months back to get the help I needed. I took a break from the forums and I've been struggling to regain my discipline and willpower. A foot injury slowed me down significantly, so I haven't been exercising, which intensified my depression. And my emotional state has led me to eating a lot of junk food. As a result, I'm practically back to square one. Last year I lost 40 pounds. At this point I'm nearly back to my starting weight (I've gained 30-35 pounds back). I realized that without the accountability of the forums, I've allowed myself to stray too far from my goals. It's time to get back on the right path.

 

My therapist recently said I'm in my own head too much and encouraged me to find something to help me take my mind off things. She mentioned video games, which I moved away from for many years. I figured I'd give it a shot and bought the game Journey for the PS3. I had always been attracted to the art style but didn't really know much about it. It had been recommended as a chill game. My first time playing was (and subsequent plays have been) an incredible, beautiful, emotional experience. I've been obsessed with it for the past week or so, and it has given me inspiration to move forward with my life's journey. The game is designed around the hero's journey, which Steve Kamb is also obsessed with. The game begins with a traveler waking up in the desert and gradually learning about his history and how to use his abilities — a sort of birth or rebirth. Your quest is to reach a mountain in the distance — and along the way you may encounter random companions. Once you've completed your journey, you are taken back to the beginning to start anew.

 

I feel like last year was my first journey. I made a goal of losing 40 pounds and learned many new abilities to help me reach the mountaintop. However, I allowed myself to fall back down, so here I am again wandering in the desert, having lost my scarf and my ability to fly. No longer can I do pushups and pullups with confidence. No longer can I walk long distances without feeling sore and losing my breath. It's time to take baby steps to learn how to redevelop my willpower and discipline. I will once again reach the mountain (and beyond) with the help of the knowledge I gained on my first journey. And I'm back to the forums to connect and reconnect with new and old companions.
 

Main Quest: I strive for the Triforce. I will build Power (physical health/lose weight) via good eating and exercise habits. I will achieve Courage (mental health/self confidence) through therapy and other potential means. I will exercise and cultivate Wisdom (knowledge/art) by devouring books as part of a balanced diet and reinvigorating my love affair with writing. 

 

Quest 1: Complete my assigned Bodyweight exercises three times a week and complete a cool down afterward. I update these on my battle log if you want to see details and follow along.

A = Complete workout/cool down 3 times a week.
B = Complete workout/cool down 2 times a week.
C = Complete workout/cool down 1 time a week.
D = Complete 0 workouts/cool downs in a week.
F = No physical activity.

 

Quest 2: Walk every day with my dog Booklet and complete a cool down afterward. I usually track these with the RunKeeper app on my battle log as well. I'm also tracking my miles on my Walk to Mordor.

 

A = Walk/cool down 6-7 days a week

B = Walk/cool down 4-5 days a week.

C = Walk/cool down 2-3 day a week.

D = Walk/cool down 1 day a week.

F = No walking/cool downs.

Quest 3: Drink less alcohol (If I do drink, I will stick to low carb cocktails).

A = Have no more than 3 drinks per week (add a plus if only low-carb cocktails).
B = Have no more than 5 drinks per week (go up a letter grade if only low-carb cocktails). 
C = Have no more than 7 drinks per week (go up a letter grade if only low-carb cocktails).
D = Have no more than 9 drinks per week (go up a letter grade if only low-carb cocktails).
F = Anything more than that (go up a letter grade if only low-carb cocktails).

Quest 4: Cook paleo meals more often, eat out less. If I do eat out, I will find healthy/paleo-ish options.

A = Eat out no more than 2 times a week. 
B = Eat out no more than 4 times a week.
C = Eat out no more than 6 times a week.
D = Eat out no more than 8 times a week.
F = Eat out more than 8 times a week. 

Life Quests: Perform "Awesome Hour" every night before bed and learn to better care for my mental/emotional health. This means powering down without screens. I will stretch my foot, meditate, read a book, color and/or write. I will also update my journal with notes about good things from my day and positive things about myself.

Motivation: Originally, I wanted to look good in order to build confidence so that I could learn to live life to the fullest, but I realize I've been looking at things backward. The truth is I've put too much focus on my physical attractiveness. I want to find love, but I know I need to love myself first. I need to build self-esteem, take chances and stop holding myself back in order to live life to the fullest.

 

 

[JessOfAllTrades]

Absolutely love the idea of awesome hour, and the rest of your goals look great. Welcome back!

[Bookish Badger]

It's so good to see you back! Following along and hoping for Booklet & Novel pics.

[Vibrantella]

Welcome back and good luck!

 

That game sounds fabulous, shame I don't have a PS  - can't find it for PC.

[FatboySuave]

6 hours ago, JessOfAllTrades said:

Absolutely love the idea of awesome hour

Here's where Awesome Hour came from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWaFI-SKcuc

 

5 hours ago, Vibrantella said:

shame I don't have a PS  - can't find it for PC

 

Yeah, it was a PS3 exclusive apparently. I'm considering getting a gaming PC! I primarily use Mac, but I'd like to have something for games. Here's a video I found about chill games (some of them are on Steam): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqubwujjpl4

 

5 hours ago, Bookish Badger said:

hoping for Booklet & Novel pics

 

I'll definitely try to bring you guys new ones. To hold you over, here are pictures of my new roommate's cat and dog.
 

 

[Bookish Badger]

The puppies seem to get along. What does Novel think of OKC?

[FatboySuave]

11 hours ago, Bookish Badger said:

The puppies seem to get along. What does Novel think of OKC?

 

The pups do get along pretty well. Sometimes they play rough and I occasionally hear whining outside. Rocky is so small but super strong! He's gonna be a handful when he gets bigger, lol. Novel is wary of OKC and will hiss at him, especially because he likes to come into our room and eat her food. But there have been no spats. OKC likes to chase Novel, but she doesn't seem to appreciate it, lol.

[Bookish Badger]

Congrats on getting a new roommate btw. I remember you'd been a bit worried about finding one. Hopefully this will help take some pressure off. 

[FatboySuave]

@Bookish Badger, thanks! Yeah, there was a lot of anxiety at one point, but my house is currently full, which definitely relieves the pressure! 

[Wolfy]

I love how you grade your goals based on how much you accomplish. I might have to try that next time! 

[FatboySuave]

On 11/24/2017 at 10:14 PM, CraftyHeathen said:

I love how you grade your goals based on how much you accomplish. I might have to try that next time! 

 

I highly recommend it! But it definitely helps to actually track what you're doing, which I haven't been doing recently, lol.

[FatboySuave]

Week Zero: I cooked a ton of food for my parents and roommates for Thanksgiving — none of it really healthy, lol. I ended up making way too much because my brother and his fam were supposed to visit, but they ended up not making it. But I hosted game night last night, and my friends helped me finish off the leftovers, lol. I also drank too much wine over the holiday weekend.

 

Game night was the first I've hosted in a long time. I've been feeling reclusive lately. I also deactivated my Facebook to reduce my screen time, but as a result I've been missing out on some invites. The hermit mentality started around my birthday in October. I attribute it to the depression and possibly the medication I was on before. It was making me irritable and more annoyed with everything in general. For some reason I just felt like being by myself. My psychiatrist recently switched me to sertraline (Zoloft), which I've been responding to better. I'm visiting with my therapist tomorrow. I haven't seen in her about a month because she called in sick when we were supposed to meet two weeks ago. At that time I was dealing with a lot of work stress, but I'm definitely feeling better now.

 

Willing myself to do things is still tough. But I think I'm making baby steps to getting back in gear. This weekend a friend and I went to Chaco Canyon national monument, which is the site of ruins that were once a central meeting place for Native Americans in the region around 900-1200 AD. We walked a lot and I got a lot of awesome pictures. It was a lot of fun.

 

I weighed myself recently and found that my weight gain wasn't actually as bad as I thought it was, which gives me a little hope and more motivation to get back on track. I'm still struggling to take daily walks with Booklet, and I've yet to complete a workout. I'm thinking that once I get back into updating my battle log, I'll be able to hold myself more accountable. I think that's the biggest thing that's been missing lately.

[FatboySuave]

And here's a fun picture from Chaco
 

 

[FatboySuave]

Week is off to an OK start. Didn't do my meal prep over the weekend, but I had some lunches leftover. The good thing is I haven't had an energy drink in a week or two. I was getting bad there for a while, sometimes drinking 2 Rockstars a day. I took Book on a walk yesterday, which was nice. I also did a lot of dishes (they've been piling up since Thanksgiving), so I felt accomplished. I also stretched for my plantar fasciitis, which NEEDS to become a habit. It's been aggravated for far too long and I really want to get back into running and zumba. Things are far from perfect, but baby steps!

 

And here's Booklet hogging the bed, lol. I always wake up contorted because of her, but I don't mind much.
 

 

[FatboySuave]

Oof, and I just got a call that my therapist called in sick again, so I have to wait another 2 weeks before I see her. Thankfully, I've been feeling much better lately, so I think things will be OK.

Also, this reminds me of some good financial news I got. The clinic called me a while back about my health care plan. Apparently my insurance doesn't cover my therapist's credentials, but the clinic has a program that pays for visits, so my sessions should be free and I should be getting a refund for all the visits I paid for in the past.

[Bookish Badger]

It's amazing how much space a relatively small animal can take up on a bed! And great news about the therapy reimbursement!

[FatboySuave]

1 hour ago, Bookish Badger said:

It's amazing how much space a relatively small animal can take up on a bed!

 

She just has to push right up next to my legs every night, lol. I can usually get her to start on one side at the beginning of the night, but by morning she's found her way into my space again lol

[JessOfAllTrades]

Gah, I wish instagram weren't blocked at my work place because I am missing puppy pictures. I need to remind myself to visit your thread once I'm home. 

[FatboySuave]

2 hours ago, JessOfAllTrades said:

Gah, I wish instagram weren't blocked at my work place because I am missing puppy pictures.

 

Aw, that sucks. You're totally missing out lol

 

Booklet and I went on a walk yesterday, so that's two days in a row! A new record as far as the past few months go, lol. I wore my walking shoes with my new inserts, and my feet/calves felt really sore throughout the walk. Not sure if my feet will get used to it, or if I should stick with my regular day-to-day shoes for the walking. I also did some meal prep for the rest of the week, so I'm setting myself up for success there. However, my buddy who I haven't seen in a while texted me and invited me to lunch, so I may end up splurging, cheating. I'm gonna try to order something semi-paleo-ish, but I'm not gonna beat myself up about it.

 

 

[Vibrantella]

43 minutes ago, Rey of Light said:

I'm gonna try to order something semi-paleo-ish

Or, just for a laugh, you could try to order something completely paleo, like a salmon or beef steak with a veggie side and a green salad...? 

[FatboySuave]

@Vibrantella, challenge accepted!

[FatboySuave]

@Vibrantella, aaaaaand challenge failed, lol. But that's OK.  

 

I spent some time yesterday following some Journey players on Twitch. It was nice to connect with other people who love the game. They also know tons of tricks and secrets, so I think I may spend some time learning how to fly better so I can enjoy the game on a new level.

[Vibrantella]

2 hours ago, Rey of Light said:

aaaaaand challenge failed, lol. But that's OK.  

LOL!   I don't quite believe you as you haven't said what you had for that lunch    But even so, good on you for attempting the challenge and accepting that sometimes things don't work.  I listened to a podcast today (Bulletproof with Esther Perel), and she said that the definition of self esteem is accepting your flaws/failings and still respecting yourself.  Not sure if she was quoting someone, but I agree with that definition.

[FatboySuave]

20 hours ago, Vibrantella said:

the definition of self esteem is accepting your flaws/failings and still respecting yourself.

 

That's a really good definition! I definitely struggle with my self esteem and accepting my flaws. I'm trying to be more mindful of that these days. As for the lunch, I had enchiladas with beans, rice, posole, chips and salsa, and a sopapilla with honey, lol. I was so stuffed though that I skipped dinner.

[FatboySuave]

I took Booklet on a nice little walk yesterday. I've started using this time to listen to podcasts. I've only recently started getting into them. Before I deactivated my Facebook, I got a ton of suggestions from my Facebook friends — so many that I've yet to sample everything, lol. But if you guys have recommendations, I'm totally willing to give them a shot. Right now some of my favorites are Reveal and Code Switch. I also listen to NPR's Up First and Politics and the NYT's The Daily.

 

I spent more time watching Twitch streamers play Journey yesterday. It's nice knowing there's still an active community for this game. The game itself is really short, so it leaves me wanting more, especially with its companion mechanic. You basically meet a real person in the game, but you can't communicate other than chirping at each other. You find out at the end of the game who they are and can send them a message. And it looks like there used to be a forum for companions, but it's gone now. So I felt kinda lonely, wanting to connect with people about the game. So this online streaming community is a way to do that.

 

I also started to learn how to do some flying and other tricks in the game. I have this half-baked desire to start streaming myself. It seems like a cool way to connect with people while playing video games, which has always been a problem for me. I've never really known many people who play games IRL, so it always felt like a solitary thing, and that's a big part of the reason why I started distancing myself from games. Recently, though, I've been able to connect with my friends more via board games. And Twitch has given me a connection to other people via video games. So I feel like I'm rediscovering an old passion in a new way, which is kinda like rediscovering a piece of myself.