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16 hours ago, annyshay said:

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This made my morning when I check NF this morning thank you! This is pretty much hows I feels....

 

13 hours ago, Teros said:

 

Also, congrats!  :)

 

 

Needed that video as I'm sulking to have to work on extra credit.... Not perfection just a good try!

 

 

 

Today is a crash day of the great wins this last week. I went to work, came home and declared I was done with the world. I spent the afternoon in bed, evening online. Trying to work on extra credit with a Prezi.....

 

 

In terms of procrastination, I finally watched Doctor Strange. Oh what a movie to help you fight your inner thoughts. The last scene with Dormammu, was pestering over and over again expecting to lose...

 

Dormammu: End this! You will never win.

Strange: No. But I can lose. Again. And again. And again. And again, forever. That makes you my prisoner.

Dormammu: No! Stop! Make this stop! Set me free!

 

Never thought of being a way, since Dormammu could easily be the picture of my horrible anxiety that I've been noticing to get  in the bad habit....

So practicing by working on this presentation, turning in whatever I have done at 11:45. I can lose, and get no points. Even if I'm feeling like I'm wasting the Professor's time, this is a chance for me to fight against this anxiety. Knowing that failing isn't going to end the world, but can keep me too far preoccupied with myself.

 

 

Edit: I did turn in bad extra credit just to practice this full in turning in thing. Next to I really want to unlock Sims this week......

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8 hours ago, Bouncer the Resilient said:

This made my morning when I check NF this morning thank you! This is pretty much hows I feels....

Your welcome! I learned my gif skills with the Assassins, so I thought you might appreciate. :D It feels that way because you’re awesome! I still haven’t done NaNo... maybe next year...

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Just wanted to say I haven't worked on school assignments daily, but still working on my total goal of turning in everything I can turn in. The rewards are a bit of an incentive (I may or may not have done sims games already though...). Been dealing with my old habit of resistance, but just allowing myself because I've hit my stamina limit.

 

My mood has finally perked up after a week of "I can't think...". I can think, but thinking straight is a bit difficult sometimes.

 

Bullet journal? Ugh.... I carry it with me. But opening for writing lists, yeah in my fictional world... My magic would suck right  now.

 

Didn't miss any writing last week, and missed a day on Sunday but able to protect my streak on 4thewords with which I'm allowing for my 90 day goal (if I can keep a solid enough habit the next two months, I will be better off then keeping one straight month).

 

Job applications... I'm avoiding finishing my resumes... Tomorrow will start back on them. I have two jobs I'm looking at that aren't outdoors, but would look great on my resume  for working with a variety of different people.

 

 

Also found out while job searching, their hiring for a new Ninja Warrior Gym......

Kind of gave me a wake up call on my fitness level again, and jobs I wouldn't mind trying out.

I'm adding walking outside daily starting this week. I wanted to start a workout routine but don't think its going to happen yet. Bonus points for days I walk around the pond that's a few blocks away from my house. I need to measure out that walk, but its at least a mile walk that would help with my depression and keep my stamina up during my winter break that offically starts tonight.

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On 12/6/2017 at 2:04 PM, annyshay said:

Yay walks!

Yes walks, and have bumped my walk goal to a month's bootcamp. Getting down to the wooded park for 6/7 days a week for some green walking. And goal of 7/7 of cool down.

Of course the weekly amount will change if I get that needed job change.... But will make sure I still follow my daily walks.

 

 

The hope is to use this next month of break for my benefit. To getting my endurance and strength up! Hopefully finishing my unwritten to do list I haven't been able to do because of school (a lot of the finishing touches of moving things over and restarting stuff). Getting some habits up on hydrating myself and veggies up (or figuring out how to make it easier with the extra brainstorm power).

 

While also dealing with the lows that have started to hit me harder since I finished school work last week (I ended with at least an A- in IT!). Partly why I see the need to get outside closer to nature while I have the extra time. 

Some of it is my brain processing, while also noticing the depression of wanting to isolate myself and melt into my fears (falling into bad thinking habits). Also noticed how  can isolate myself, it makes sense when I get overstimulated or around people a lot (like being into two classes with 50+ people or my job at a retail chain). Another goal this winter break is getting back into a daily habit onto here. I noticed how quickly I avoided the forums, I ended up avoiding taking care of myself... (needing the support, to help get through the rough times I guess).


I don't have huge plans for the holidays, more of trying to figure out what would make me personally happy for myself. New Year's is easy, compared to Christmas/Yule due to huge life changes for the better, but not having anything to replace it yet. Nothing that has made me happy at least... First big holiday for myself without access to a car... A large amount of freedom, but also restriction.
Will be back on tomorrow. Trying to figure out what type of boot camp Bouncer gets herself into in my personal RP.

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Seems like you're doing great @Bouncer the Resilient setting priorities and staying active.

 

8 hours ago, Bouncer the Resilient said:

Getting down to the wooded park for 6/7 days a week for some green walking.

 

Green walking is my favorite kind of walking, especially barefoot. :)

 

8 hours ago, Bouncer the Resilient said:

my unwritten to do list I haven't been able to do because of school

 

You have one of those, too?

 

I'm proud of you for listening to yourself and recognizing when you feel down or need something to lift you up. Let me know if I can help in any way.

 

 

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On 12/11/2017 at 11:03 PM, Bouncer the Resilient said:

I don't have huge plans for the holidays, more of trying to figure out what would make me personally happy for myself. 

 

 

It's a long slow road... but you can find the way. If you can't see to the end of the road, I believe that you will be able to figure out where the next foot goes. The important thing is trying. 

 

And congratulations on your classes!

 

Are you going to apply for the Ninja gym? That does sound fun.

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My keyboard decided to break this last week, so my goal to be active on here fell apart.. Ended up being a week of rest mostly  between work and daily walking  (only missed Tuesday for an hour  walk,  missed 3 days on doing cool down but still did more than I have done in one week all year.) Was surprised to find my upper body getting  a wake call by just carrying my walking stick...

I turned in 4 applications on Thursday, and had an email back within 24 hours. It's a position within a group home. I Interview on Monday, first time I've been asked to bring a list of references for an interview. I'm excited to finally get a response, but I'm not sure if its going to conflict with my school schedule. So will have to see how it turns out .

 

 

On 12/12/2017 at 7:17 AM, Wolfen said:

Green walking is my favorite kind of walking, especially barefoot. :)

Agreed. I've been missing barefoot walking since I moved.

 

On 12/12/2017 at 7:17 AM, Wolfen said:

I'm proud of you for listening to yourself and recognizing when you feel down or need something to lift you up. Let me know if I can help in any way

Thank you for this, it helped remind me I'm getting off the couch for a daily walk.

 

 

35 minutes ago, CallunaTook said:

It's a long slow road... but you can find the way. If you can't see to the end of the road, I believe that you will be able to figure out where the next foot goes. The important thing is trying

I'm definitely learning the difference between being told its long and actually living it. Thank you for the encouragement!
I realized a mix of the daily walking and continuing the organization of moving in is going to help find some thing good.

 

 

1 hour ago, CallunaTook said:

And congratulations on your classes!

Thank you !

 

1 hour ago, CallunaTook said:

Are you going to apply for the Ninja gym? That does sound fun.

It's one of those places where  I really wish I could. But mixed with my weaknesses of not able to handle busy/chaotic  atmosphere... It wasn't a great match for me...

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I've been a little inattentive when it has come to the forums.... Having  no working keyboards hasn't helped...

 

Walking I have been staying on track, for  at least every other day. I'm at a point where I crave a 30+ minute walk, and a good long stretch at least every other walk to help loosen the muscles that are getting tight from the cold. I'm a tad annoyed my depression is still hanging around when I'm at home, but luckily isn't hindering my enjoyment of the outdoors. Been taking small steps on finding DBT therapy since last Thursday.

 

Goal for journal, I'm dropping. The issues of not using it some days is something connected with my resistance for every day to dos.When school starts I'll approach the goal a little differently.

 

Job stuff- interview last week went well. But realized I may not want to work for them, because the job duties are a bit more medical like than I'm personally comfortable with. I gave up on the job search a bit by telling Goodwill I was interested in a backroom position. The manager for the position is on holiday until Thursday, so been a bit in limbo. Today though I asked by a small bakery for an interview for a janitorial position I applied to. Still waiting on the interview time, but its a job with some perks- small business over a chain, more than a mile closer to my apartment, in the "old town" part of the city (aka one of my favorite parts), more hours, and excuse to go the bakery. Will have to wait and see.

 

Well that's the basics!

Will continue update tomorrow.

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