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fleaball

Year of the Flea

Starting the Year off Right: Poll Tiem!  

26 members have voted

  1. 1. Is this gonna be your year?

    • FUCK YEAH!
      17
    • Damn right!
      6
    • YES but I don't like cursing!
      3


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I love your goals!

 

On 12/26/2017 at 12:08 PM, fleaball said:
  • take a pole dancing class
  • make new friends
  • find a hobby

I can see these 3 working together symbiotically :)

 

On 12/26/2017 at 12:08 PM, fleaball said:
  • complete GMB Elements
  • run a full 5k
  • run a full 10k
  • do one or more OCRs since I hate myself and have terrible friends
  • do a handstand
  • do the monkey bars

Sweet, we are going to have some overlapping goals this year! Handstands, monkey bars, OCRs, basic mobility...  We are going to like twins or something :D

 

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4 minutes ago, WhiteGhost said:

I love your goals!

^-^

 

Quote

I can see these 3 working together symbiotically :)

Haha I see your point. Sadly, the pole dancing class will probably have to wait til the latter half of the year. Because they cost money, and also because I want to be in better shape than I am now. As in, actually have some core and upper body strength so I’m not just flopping around and getting frustrated and never want to do it again. 

 

Quote

Sweet, we are going to have some overlapping goals this year! Handstands, monkey bars, OCRs, basic mobility...  We are going to like twins or something :D

 

Pretty sure you’re already miles ahead of me with most of it. Although I’ll take it as a sign that I picked good goals. :)

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Ugh. So I had this super awesome post all ready to go and Tapatalk struck. I don’t have it in me to go back and make it as awesome as it was, so I’ll just say this:

If you hate being in the kitchen, and can afford to spend a little bit more than just grocery shopping for all your meals, you might check if Munchery is available in your area. Here’s their website to check it out: https://munchery.com/weekly/#/


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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On 12/25/2017 at 10:08 PM, fleaball said:

Also: bonus points! Other good-for-me things that have made appearances in past challenges, including journaling, eating freggies, skipping coffee, cleaning, etc. They're all listed on the spreadsheet so it's kind of a monster, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

I really liked how you did it a few months back where you focused on doing one of a group of things for you. It's a great concept. 

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27 minutes ago, WantMy$2 said:

I really liked how you did it a few months back where you focused on doing one of a group of things for you. It's a great concept. 

I almost did that again for this challenge tbh. But the desire to focus on building actual habit won out. i'm still keeping it in my back pocket in case shit hits the fan again and I need a reboot though.

 

21 minutes ago, WantMy$2 said:

I made my first gif today, I know these types of things live in your thread. This is Barry and Phil singing some Naughty by Nature this afternoon...

 

hip-hop.GIF

love it!

 

18 minutes ago, Sylvaa said:

cheerleading_cat_d_by_s_c4ever.jpg

Awwww, he looks so unhappy. 

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27 minutes ago, fleaball said:

Awwww, he looks so unhappy. 

 

I thought it was perfect for you though! The kitteh is like, "I'm trying. . . rah"

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You got this :D
Even if baby steps suck, I'm cheering you on for completing them so you can go from baby steps to little kid steps and move on from there :)

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

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On 12/26/2017 at 11:43 PM, fleaball said:

This post is now a lie and you do have a thread, so now we have twice the number of places to make dirty jokes!  :D

Accurate, I posted it right after commenting here!

And counting your battle log, and mine, we have a foursome.... ;) 

(pun completely intended... :lol: )

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On 12/28/2017 at 10:18 AM, fireandlight said:

Ugh. So I had this super awesome post all ready to go and Tapatalk struck. I don’t have it in me to go back and make it as awesome as it was, so I’ll just say this:

If you hate being in the kitchen, and can afford to spend a little bit more than just grocery shopping for all your meals, you might check if Munchery is available in your area. Here’s their website to check it out: https://munchery.com/weekly/#/


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'll bookmark that for later. Not a thing I can afford right now but it looks delicious. Thanks for sharing!

 

On 12/29/2017 at 2:18 AM, Siferiax said:

You got this :D
Even if baby steps suck, I'm cheering you on for completing them so you can go from baby steps to little kid steps and move on from there :)

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk
 

:) thanks!

 

On 12/29/2017 at 11:43 AM, RES said:

Accurate, I posted it right after commenting here!

And counting your battle log, and mine, we have a foursome.... ;) 

(pun completely intended... :lol: )

Goddammit I can't come up with a dirty enough response. D:

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I’m starting tomorrow because lol rules are dumb. But I also feel decidedly Not Ready. I have everything I need to hit my goals, but mentally there’s something missing. Fear of succeeding is entirely plausible. Mostly I think it’s that the anxiety taking over my life is pretty much crowding out everything else in my brain. The point of this challenge is to give me something to focus on rather than just winging it every day, but right now I’m also like “Wait, I have to do these things now? When I haven’t been doing much of anything lately? Uhhhhh nope.” Even though I’m not expecting 100% success, especially not on the first day, I’m still freaking out. And actually I lied, I don’t have the right filters for my coffee maker. Aldi didn’t have the right size, I didn’t make it to another supermarket today, and when I asked my brother to get them he had no idea what he was looking for and grabbed the wrong thing. 

 

Okay. I started this post two hours ago. In the interim I’ve calmed down a bit and managed to be productive, so that’s good. I’m still anxious as fuck about the challenge. It’s also my first “proper” challenge in... what, 8 months at least? So that’s fun. I know it’s less the challenge stressing me out and more just the level of anxiety I’m at in general, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating. :/

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39 minutes ago, fleaball said:

 Mostly I think it’s that the anxiety taking over my life is pretty much crowding out everything else in my brain. 

 

Okay. I started this post two hours ago. In the interim I’ve calmed down a bit and managed to be productive, so that’s good. I’m still anxious as fuck about the challenge. It’s also my first “proper” challenge in... what, 8 months at least? So that’s fun. I know it’s less the challenge stressing me out and more just the level of anxiety I’m at in general, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating. :/

 

Have you heard of the worry tree?  I don't remember when it first got presented to me, therapy in my early teens I reckon, but I've generally found it pretty productive in managing the overwhelming anxiety attacks I end up with if I just try to brute force my way through the worry without actually acknowledging it's existence.

 

worry_decision_tree.png

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2 minutes ago, Stardust said:

 

Have you heard of the worry tree?  I don't remember when it first got presented to me, therapy in my early teens I reckon, but I've generally found it pretty productive in managing the overwhelming anxiety attacks I end up with if I just try to brute force my way through the worry without actually acknowledging it's existence.

Hadn't heard of it as such, but I do try to do something similar when things come up. The problem is, I'm pretty much in a constant state of anxiety and while I'm working on coping mechanisms, I can't resolve the source of the anxiety itself. tl;dr until I get a job and can move out of my parents' house, I will continue to be a hot mess. So the anxiety that comes with just being awake and in this environment tends to make smaller, otherwise manageable worries into these huge disasters, if I can pinpoint them at all underneath the rest of the anxiety.

 

Oh, balls. I bet I'm freaking out over all of my goals but the flossing one because they'll be things that are New and Different for me, Things Flea Doesn't Do, and such things are always commented on and usually derided, before or after an interrogation. 

 

Welp. Not actionable but also not something I can brush off. Thanks for making me realize what it was, anyway.

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10 hours ago, fleaball said:

Goddammit I can't come up with a dirty enough response. D:

You're not the first to ever have this issue ;) 

 

Probably isn't going to do any good to remind you that since your needs are rarely if ever considered in your current situation, your explanation of your actions shouldn't be needed...should they be inquired upon, "Something I'm doing for myself" should be a sufficient explanation. My .02, keep the change....

 

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8 hours ago, fleaball said:

I’m starting tomorrow because lol rules are dumb. But I also feel decidedly Not Ready. I have everything I need to hit my goals, but mentally there’s something missing. Fear of succeeding is entirely plausible. Mostly I think it’s that the anxiety taking over my life is pretty much crowding out everything else in my brain. The point of this challenge is to give me something to focus on rather than just winging it every day, but right now I’m also like “Wait, I have to do these things now? When I haven’t been doing much of anything lately? Uhhhhh nope.” Even though I’m not expecting 100% success, especially not on the first day, I’m still freaking out. And actually I lied, I don’t have the right filters for my coffee maker. Aldi didn’t have the right size, I didn’t make it to another supermarket today, and when I asked my brother to get them he had no idea what he was looking for and grabbed the wrong thing. 

 

Okay, so the filters are kinda a thing. But you just admitted that day one may not be the best day of the whole challenge. So do what you can and maybe make it a thing to go get the filters today (I know, easy to say from here because Winter, but still). Day one is about restarting and you restarting from much further back than you use to. You got this, and if need be, post today that "I need to go get filters" and we will all bug you till you do it. (What are friends for)

 

 

8 hours ago, fleaball said:

 

Okay. I started this post two hours ago. In the interim I’ve calmed down a bit and managed to be productive, so that’s good. I’m still anxious as fuck about the challenge. It’s also my first “proper” challenge in... what, 8 months at least? So that’s fun. I know it’s less the challenge stressing me out and more just the level of anxiety I’m at in general, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating. :/


I am glad you calmed down some. Some anxiety in your situation is probably normal (you know what I mean). The last 8 months were more about just surviving and making it through a day. Now your ready to start working on things a tiny bit a time. I wish I could do something to help with the anxiety monster, but alas, right now, I can't. I have yet to teach him to settle, sit and stay. Remember these are tiny steps that will help you so you can get out of there and start feeling better.

*hugs* you got this.

 

7 hours ago, fleaball said:

Oh, balls. I bet I'm freaking out over all of my goals but the flossing one because they'll be things that are New and Different for me, Things Flea Doesn't Do, and such things are always commented on and usually derided, before or after an interrogation. 

 

Welp. Not actionable but also not something I can brush off. Thanks for making me realize what it was, anyway.


I agree with RES that "Just working on something for me" should be enough of an issue. However, it may not be. Maybe try and work on your challenge stuff when your home alone. *hugs* You got this. Maybe it will finally prove to them both that you won't be around to take care of them forever, so they need to learn to do so themselves. *hugs*

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11 hours ago, fleaball said:

I’m starting tomorrow because lol rules are dumb.

I'm starting tomorrow too. Yay, anxiety. :/

 

11 hours ago, fleaball said:

I know it’s less the challenge stressing me out and more just the level of anxiety I’m at in general, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating. :/

Ditto. And for me, thinking about dealing with the cause of my anxiety causes a lot more anxiety.

 

11 hours ago, Stardust said:

 

Have you heard of the worry tree?  I don't remember when it first got presented to me, therapy in my early teens I reckon, but I've generally found it pretty productive in managing the overwhelming anxiety attacks I end up with if I just try to brute force my way through the worry without actually acknowledging it's existence.

 

worry_decision_tree.png

I think I've seen something like this before. And I really like the concept. But in practice, I usually get stuck on the "let the worry go" part. (Like, I try to change the focus of my attention, but the anxiety still stays.)

 

But maybe cat gifs will help? 

a1624fce5003d304346b1430abe40aaf.gif

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Tried to take what is hopefully my last set of “before” pics ever, camera battery is dead and I’m not sure I have a charger for it? So that’s useless. They’re on my phone now and I need to figure out how to get them off later. 

 

Will address other posts later. Right now I need to shower, get food/coffee, and then go driving. I overslept and I’m not pleased. I’ll probably wind up pulling into a supermarket at some point while driving and will look for my coffee filters. Blah I am a grumpy flea.  

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Pulled into a Target parking lot to report a massive asshole of a customer. Go into Target for a snack, they don’t have my damn coffee filters either. Raaaaaaaage. And I’m now at least a half hour drive from any area actually worth driving in. 

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Aaaaaaaaaaand turns out my brother did his best and got me the only kind they had in the size I asked for. Stopped where he works to get gas and they don’t even a sticker on the shelf for it. Guess I’m buying a reusable one on Amazon and putting this goal on hold?

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