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Data concerning 9-jan-18

#1 Intermittent fasting
15 hours. Decided to go for 14 hours until I can keep that up daily and then work towards 16 hours that way. So any fasting of 14+ hours is a win :)
 
#2 Drink 2 bottles of water
Done.
 
#3 Walking
Need to happen this weekend.
 
#4 Therapy
No.
 
#5 Medication
No.

Update
So gym day happened. And I did do spinning and it was tough and my foot started being annoying. So my BF and I went on a what's going on trail and error.
Namely what I had noticed it became worse as the resistance on the bike was more heavy/strong/what does one call this?!.
So we tried a couple things on the bike. And we suspected it happened when I was pushing down / using force from my top upper leg muscle. I dunno what that's called, but the one you use when pushing down the cycling paddle.
To test this, we stepped off the bike and went to a training apparatus for that muscle.
AND WE MANAGED TO REPRODUCE THE EFFECT!!
So it seems using that muscle seems to restrict something (probably blood flow but maybe my nerves) and makes my foot go weird and hurting.
January 31st I go back to the doctor for a check up, so I can lay down my findings then.

I fear it may come from my excess weight. If so, I might need professional help with losing it.
I seem very bad at doing so myself.
Problem with prof help is I would need someone specialized in autism. As autism has an effect on my eating in various ways. (Sensitivity to food sensations, hunger/satisfied signals)

Why do I think it might be my weight? Because I've gained a lot and then went exercising and then it went wrong.

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Data concerning 10-jan-18

#1 Intermittent fasting
14 hours.
 
#2 Drink 2 bottles of water
Nope.
 
#3 Walking
Need to happen this weekend.
 
#4 Therapy
No.
 
#5 Medication
Yes.

Had a really lovely evening with my BF. We talked a lot.
Also about my wish to go to New Zealand and my fear of never being ready for it.

We will figure out how to deal with my body.
And I really need to loose weight, but I'm not sure how.
I can’t/don't want to go on a diet. That's for sure.

Tonight I might go to the gym closer to me. It doesn't have spinning bikes yet, but it will let me figure out if I can reproduce my foot problem without the use of a bike.

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Still forgetting about buying that extra bottle. So! I'm noting that down right now! In my task app. I need to note most everything there to do stuff.

I've just... Felt unlike myself.
I can't really explain. But I kinda don't want to do stuff anymore.
Just wanna curl up in bed and forget about the world.
Not so much curled, but wearing PJ's and in bed... At 18:30.

I don't even really know where I'm going with this.
I feel bored I suppose.
I'm just journalling here, instead of somewhere else because it's easy to journal here.

Work's been very frustrating as I can't figure out an issue I'm having. Or actually a change I need to implement and the whole thing is so complex I can't keep it straight in my head and it looks like a mess on paper.
My coworker suggested reworking the whole thing. It seems daunting but maybe better.
I should run some tests with some test data to see how I can make this new thing work with the old thing.

I'm just gonna close my eyes for a bit.

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On 1/9/2018 at 11:38 PM, Siferiax said:

Namely what I had noticed it became worse as the resistance on the bike was more heavy/strong/what does one call this?!.
So we tried a couple things on the bike. And we suspected it happened when I was pushing down / using force from my top upper leg muscle. I dunno what that's called, but the one you use when pushing down the cycling paddle.

The words you're looking for are higher (higher resistance, resistance was higher) and quadriceps (the muscle on top of your thigh). 

 

48 minutes ago, Siferiax said:

I've just... Felt unlike myself.
I can't really explain. But I kinda don't want to do stuff anymore.
Just wanna curl up in bed and forget about the world.
Not so much curled, but wearing PJ's and in bed... At 18:30.

I don't even really know where I'm going with this.
I feel bored I suppose.
I'm just journalling here, instead of somewhere else because it's easy to journal here.

Oh no! I hope you feel better. Sometimes curling up in PJs a little earlier than usual can be really nice, but it's a bummer if you're feeling down. :( That's kind of how depression manifests for me, just a sort of bleh lack of interest or desire to do anything. I'm not sure what the secret to re-engaging is, but if you figure it out let me know! 

 

In the meantime, if there's anything we NF people can do to help support you, let us know. We're especially good at listening. 

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Oh, Sif~  I'm sorry you're having a hard time right now.  *BIGGEST HUG IN THE WORLD*  

 

When I get that sort of feeling, I usually reach out to one of my close friends or mother.  They don't usually solve the problem completely, but sometimes my friend will come over and just exist with me through the apathetic period (she has severe seasonal depression, so we are oh so much fun together in the winter--just sitting like lumps together in my apartment xD).  She might motivate me to come along with her on some of her errands just to distract me from feeling like nothing.  Or if no one can come over, sometimes they'll just give me ideas on what to do.  When I'm depressed, I have trouble making decisions and taking action, but if someone else suggests it to me, I'm much more likely to do it and realize the rewards of it.  That said, I guess the point is that I try not to go through it alone.  ...If no one answers their phones, I always have my cat to hug (well, attempt to hug but really just hold for 1.3 seconds and then be entertained by his silly ninja-like antics).

 

I am excited to see that you've started trying out IF!  Yay! :D  If you're having trouble staying full for longer periods, you could try upping the amount of protein you're eating.  I did have to do that in the beginning just so my stomach had something to do in all that free time.  I didn't think of it so much as a diet but me choosing to eat foods to help me stay full.  Nowadays, my meals are more normally proportioned since my body got used to waiting to eat.  What really helped me not eat was having a distraction when I previously ate breakfast.  E.G. I'd go take a walk or go talk to a coworker.  I physically removed myself from the environment where I was used to eating at a certain time, so that I wouldn't be tempted.  

 

As for IF being different for women, I will say that I've felt perfectly healthy since changing to it.  However, I will say that IF is not as effective for women as it is for men.  I've noticed a trend in several of my friends who have done IF.  It does work for women, but for men it seems to work dramatically well.  I think it does have something to do with the hormones in women and men being different; I'm not entirely sure.  Perhaps there's a more scientifically efficient way for women to lose weight, but the method has been working well enough for me so far.  I hope you see success in it as well!  It took me a little while to get there, but it was so rewarding to see the first pound melt off due to the changes I made.  I hope for that happiness for you too!  <3  Rooting for you, Sif! :D 

 

 

 

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The words you're looking for are higher (higher resistance, resistance was higher) and quadriceps (the muscle on top of your thigh). 


Thank you! I sometimes get a little tired of how many words I have to think of or look up just to make a sentence XD so sometimes I just default to describing what I mean.

Oh no! I hope you feel better. Sometimes curling up in PJs a little earlier than usual can be really nice, but it's a bummer if you're feeling down.  That's kind of how depression manifests for me, just a sort of bleh lack of interest or desire to do anything. I'm not sure what the secret to re-engaging is, but if you figure it out let me know! 

In the meantime, if there's anything we NF people can do to help support you, let us know. We're especially good at listening. 


The secret for me is usually time really.

Though apparently one is suppose to have a reason to feel this way. So I have to constantly come up with reasons for having a bad day/week.
Why can't I just feel bad, because I just happen to feel that way?!

Also my BF guilting me about not going to the gym. Because I was going to go and test foot things. Not helping...

Oh, Sif~  I'm sorry you're having a hard time right now.  *BIGGEST HUG IN THE WORLD*  

When I get that sort of feeling, I usually reach out to one of my close friends or mother.  They don't usually solve the problem completely, but sometimes my friend will come over and just exist with me through the apathetic period (she has severe seasonal depression, so we are oh so much fun together in the winter--just sitting like lumps together in my apartment xD).  She might motivate me to come along with her on some of her errands just to distract me from feeling like nothing.  Or if no one can come over, sometimes they'll just give me ideas on what to do.  When I'm depressed, I have trouble making decisions and taking action, but if someone else suggests it to me, I'm much more likely to do it and realize the rewards of it.  That said, I guess the point is that I try not to go through it alone.  ...If no one answers their phones, I always have my cat to hug (well, attempt to hug but really just hold for 1.3 seconds and then be entertained by his silly ninja-like antics).


Thank you for the hug :)
I often completely disengage and just try to give my head a rest. I have my BF and mom to reach out to, neither of which understand my feelings.
As mentioned above I need a reason or else my feelings are invalid.
I usually just waste time and feel better later.
It's nice to get a hug though.

I am excited to see that you've started trying out IF!  Yay!   If you're having trouble staying full for longer periods, you could try upping the amount of protein you're eating.  I did have to do that in the beginning just so my stomach had something to do in all that free time.  I didn't think of it so much as a diet but me choosing to eat foods to help me stay full.  Nowadays, my meals are more normally proportioned since my body got used to waiting to eat.  What really helped me not eat was having a distraction when I previously ate breakfast.  E.G. I'd go take a walk or go talk to a coworker.  I physically removed myself from the environment where I was used to eating at a certain time, so that I wouldn't be tempted.  

As for IF being different for women, I will say that I've felt perfectly healthy since changing to it.  However, I will say that IF is not as effective for women as it is for men.  I've noticed a trend in several of my friends who have done IF.  It does work for women, but for men it seems to work dramatically well.  I think it does have something to do with the hormones in women and men being different; I'm not entirely sure.  Perhaps there's a more scientifically efficient way for women to lose weight, but the method has been working well enough for me so far.  I hope you see success in it as well!  It took me a little while to get there, but it was so rewarding to see the first pound melt off due to the changes I made.  I hope for that happiness for you too!


I kinda do, I'm trying to let my body get used to 14 hours now. I notice it highly depends on the day/food.
This morning I had high protein yoghurt (whatever that meant XD) and a protein bar for breakfast and I was surprised how well I did till lunch.
I barely ate dinner and I'm feeling that now. Mostly because I went to bed and didn't properly eat. On the other hand stopped eating at 17:00.
Soooo I can basically eat by the time I'm out of bed tomorrow.

I may not do this properly, but I'm fine with that for now. I'll probably cut into snacking again next challenge to build upon my new IF foundation. Take it from there.
Have to consider how to increase protein in my diet though. Especially because of my stomach being easily full.

Just replying to both your messages has me feeling a bit better.
Haven't been able to sleep or anything, but still. Probably will be out of bed for a bit.


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21 minutes ago, Siferiax said:

Thank you! I sometimes get a little tired of how many words I have to think of or look up just to make a sentence XD so sometimes I just default to describing what I mean.

Describing what you mean is fine too? I think everyone can understand from your description. You do a fantastic job at making sentences in general, and communicate fairly clearly. You asked so I figured I'd follow up with the words you were looking for, but I hope I didn't imply you have to use them. English is such nonsense. 

 

24 minutes ago, Siferiax said:

Though apparently one is suppose to have a reason to feel this way. So I have to constantly come up with reasons for having a bad day/week.
Why can't I just feel bad, because I just happen to feel that way?!

I was thinking about something similar yesterday when I happened to see a bit of a facebook discussion about the movie Grave of the Fireflies. Most of the people discussing said things like "saddest movie ever" or "best movie that I will only be able to watch once." Grave of the Fireflies is my go-to movie for when I want to feel sad, but when I thought that, I realized... there are probably a lot of people who would look askance at me if I said I wanted to feel sad sometimes. Who would want such a thing? 

 

I don't think there has to be a reason why we feel what we feel. Isn't the point of emotions that they're separate from logic? Sometimes I just want to have a quiet, sad day, so I curl up with some hot chocolate and a blanket and Grave of the Fireflies. Sometimes you just have a bad day, and it's not that something bad happened to you, it's just that you felt bad. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I don't understand why it's so hard for people to grasp.  

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I seem to arrive late for hugs, and that's good because you are better :)
If I may, but I could be completely off, I think that you wanting to see sad stuff is related to the need of justify why you are sad. And it's good that you found a healthy way... recently I was crying all nights for a week for no reason (maybe I was homesick, maybe I was crying for the end of my first story that happened in June, maybe... I really don't know) and I started picking up every tiny thing a close friend would do to say that she was not my friend! And I repeated with other 3 people... Now I am ashamed, but at the time seemed logical...

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12 hours ago, Wobbegong said:

Describing what you mean is fine too? I think everyone can understand from your description. You do a fantastic job at making sentences in general, and communicate fairly clearly. You asked so I figured I'd follow up with the words you were looking for, but I hope I didn't imply you have to use them. English is such nonsense. 

 

No you didn't imply at all :) I was just saying why I hadn't looked it up myself :P /islazy

But yeah in this case it's useful to know the words. It's quicker than describing :D

And thank you. I got English at school from 10 years old. Plus lots of English tv shows / cartoons with Dutch subtitles. It helps.

I actually remember when I was 10, I was in Florida with my parents (Disney!!) and practiced in the hotel room with my parents, this one sentence. So I could go down at the desk (alone!) to ask a question. The answer was rather simple "no" lol. I believe the question was about buying disney entrance tickets at the hotel.

Safe to say, it's not by accident my English is quite good.

 

12 hours ago, Wobbegong said:

I was thinking about something similar yesterday when I happened to see a bit of a facebook discussion about the movie Grave of the Fireflies. Most of the people discussing said things like "saddest movie ever" or "best movie that I will only be able to watch once." Grave of the Fireflies is my go-to movie for when I want to feel sad, but when I thought that, I realized... there are probably a lot of people who would look askance at me if I said I wanted to feel sad sometimes. Who would want such a thing? 

 

I don't think there has to be a reason why we feel what we feel. Isn't the point of emotions that they're separate from logic? Sometimes I just want to have a quiet, sad day, so I curl up with some hot chocolate and a blanket and Grave of the Fireflies. Sometimes you just have a bad day, and it's not that something bad happened to you, it's just that you felt bad. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I don't understand why it's so hard for people to grasp.  

 

Yeah, I get it. There's this aversaty to feeling anything besides happiness. I still want to reread The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris for this reason.

"When we take action on the things that truly matter deep in our hearts, move in directions that we consider valuable and worthy, clarify what we stand for in life and act accordingly, then our lives become rich and full and meaningful, and we experience a powerful sense of vitality. This is not some fleeting feeling - it is a profound sense of a life well lived. And although such a life will undoubtedly give us many pleasurable feelings, it will also give us uncomfortable ones, such as sadness, fear, and anger. This is only to be expected. If we live a full life, we will feel the full range of human emotions."

From the intro. 

 

2 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

I seem to arrive late for hugs, and that's good because you are better :)
If I may, but I could be completely off, I think that you wanting to see sad stuff is related to the need of justify why you are sad. And it's good that you found a healthy way... recently I was crying all nights for a week for no reason (maybe I was homesick, maybe I was crying for the end of my first story that happened in June, maybe... I really don't know) and I started picking up every tiny thing a close friend would do to say that she was not my friend! And I repeated with other 3 people... Now I am ashamed, but at the time seemed logical...

 

There is no such thing as late for hugs! -hug-

And I'm especially better this new day where I actually woke up for a change. (instead of being dragged from my bed by duty)

 

And I don't necessarily need to justify why I'm sad/feeling bad. Everyone else does, to make my feelings valid?!

I think my feeling is valid with or without reason. 

 

The fact I feel better now, let's me know I was probably exhausted and completely drained.

I have a lot more energy and I actually want to do stuff again.

 

Sometimes we need to just listen to what our body wants at that time and accept that not every day has to be a happy day.

 

I'm sorry that you went through a rough spot -hug- I hope you feel better now and maybe even made it up to some of your friends.

 

Data concerning 11-jan-18

#1 Intermittent fasting
14 hours.
 
#2 Drink 2 bottles of water
Nope.
 
#3 Walking
Need to happen this weekend.
 
#4 Therapy
No.
 
#5 Medication
No.

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So work let up a little bit.
Also I managed to think on buying that extra bottle.
So my boyfriend asked how they multiplied and why.
I don't think he fully understood and would rather see me get up and get a refill.
Well so do I, but at this time I prioritize the drinking part of it.

I also feel much better about my goals.
They are no longer goals. I reframed them to habits.
Language is important.
So habits I wish to work on creating.

And obviously you have to repeat a habit daily to ingrain it.
But I feel I might need to adjust to it?!
So I work to eventually get a 100% on all my habits. And till such time they stay at level 1.

For example I want to drink more than a liter a day. So the two bottles are nowhere near where I want to be. But till I can consistently get two in, I'm not raising the number.

Let's see if this sticks / is a good way to go about it.

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Data concerning 12-jan-18

#1 Intermittent fasting
15.75 hours. I ate a protein bar on my way to work as I was super hungry :)
 
#2 Drink 2 bottles of water
Yes.
 
#3 Walking
Need to happen this weekend.
 
#4 Therapy
No.
 
#5 Medication
No.

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Let's see what I can remember without quoting stuff.

 

For triggers, I like using different ones for different things. And it's something I'm still working on. I only have four alarms, two for waking up (in case one doesn't work), one for getting ready for work, and one for leaving for work (the last two have unique ring tones). My medication has a reminder notification, so it has it's own notification sound, and then it leaves a notification on my phone until I tap the "done" button. For other habits, I try to tack them on to other things. Like last night with flossing my teeth, I thought "well, I'm already in the bathroom, I might as well do this while I'm here." It takes a long time for things to stick, but I think I'm trying to make a consistent routine. 

 

One idea I had for structuring challenges was to just have three goals. The first would be a group of habits from previous challenges that I've gotten good at (but if I don't include them I don't think about them and then they don't get done). The second would be a habit from previous challenges that still need a lot of work. And the third would be something new I want to try. (But I always end up wanting to do a lot of new things, so I've never actually tried it even though I think it would work really well for me. >_<)

 

Sometimes when I'm feeling depressed and someone is bugging me for an answer, I'll say "my brain hates me". (Or I'll start getting smart with them and talk their ear off about clinical depression.) If it's my psychiatrist asking, I'll try to find an answer, and if I can't it's just "I don't know" and that's fine (if it is something external, it means I should work on it in therapy, if it's IDK, it's talk to my therapist and keep an eye on it and if it doesn't get better we'll look at changing my medication).

 

I forget words in English a lot (and it's the only language I speak), or I just never learned the word, so I do the describing thing a lot. It can make communicating tricky if I'm having trouble describing it to and it's just "that thing..." (I have sometimes grabbed the thing or a picture of it to just show them "this thing! IDK what it is, but this!")

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Sometimes when I'm feeling depressed and someone is bugging me for an answer, I'll say "my brain hates me". (Or I'll start getting smart with them and talk their ear off about clinical depression.) If it's my psychiatrist asking, I'll try to find an answer, and if I can't it's just "I don't know" and that's fine (if it is something external, it means I should work on it in therapy, if it's IDK, it's talk to my therapist and keep an eye on it and if it doesn't get better we'll look at changing my medication).
 
I forget words in English a lot (and it's the only language I speak), or I just never learned the word, so I do the describing thing a lot. It can make communicating tricky if I'm having trouble describing it to and it's just "that thing..." (I have sometimes grabbed the thing or a picture of it to just show them "this thing! IDK what it is, but this!")


I like the idea of replying to depression feelings with a cause, I never thought of that! I got suggested to see a counsellor for stress and is now on my todo (I need the report first, and I think I will get it tomorrow). The leaflet I received says to create a worrybox: when something worries me I should write it down to worry about in a set time. Then I read all of it together and worry about it if it still worries me. What you say reminds me of a depressionbox, is it?

Regarding the English, I used to have that issue so bad when I knew Italian only, to the point of calling mozzarella tomato because you use them together in the caprese. Or when in kindergarden I said that one teacher was darker and the other was 'finger on the cheek' gesture, that in Italian meant delicious, but I meant my skin color...
I find English easier because if I can rember the word in Italian, chance is that a similar word in English exists, otherwise people will be more understanding because I'm not native. Also, I find that thinking in English slows my mind down enough to reduce distractions and it happens less until I very tired, when my whole mind goes on shut down :/
Not suggesting you to change country so you are speaking a different language, just sharing some of my findings because I find amazing that I struggle more in my native!
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3 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

I like the idea of replying to depression feelings with a cause, I never thought of that! I got suggested to see a counsellor for stress and is now on my todo (I need the report first, and I think I will get it tomorrow). The leaflet I received says to create a worrybox: when something worries me I should write it down to worry about in a set time. Then I read all of it together and worry about it if it still worries me. What you say reminds me of a depressionbox, is it?

This is interesting. I never really write down all the things. I see my therapist for anxiety and depression, so we talk about causes a little there (and if there's anything we can do about it). And that gives me a set place and time to talk about these things. So in a way it's similar. It also gives me someone who will say that it's okay to not have a cause for these feelings (or rather that the cause can just be chemical imbalances in your brain). 

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Data concerning 13-jan-18

#1 Intermittent fasting
13 hours and 15 minutes. That's just what happened.
 
#2 Drink 2 bottles of water
It was weekend. I'm still thinking on the difference between weekdays and weekend days.
 
#3 Walking
Did so Sunday.
 
#4 Therapy
No.
 
#5 Medication
No.

Data concerning 14-jan-18

#1 Intermittent fasting
16.5 hours.
 
#2 Drink 2 bottles of water
Again weekend day.
 
#3 Walking
We walked 4.7km in a fasted state! When my body actually picked up on the fact I was exercising it went really well. Unfortunately the end of the trail was sand instead of solid ground, and my hip disliked it. We walked back on the road instead of the last bit of the trail.
 
#4 Therapy
No.
 
#5 Medication
No.

(Will reply to everyone at a later moment, just wanted to get my updates written before I forget)

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Data concerning 15-jan-18

#1 Intermittent fasting
14 hours. Seems 19:00-9:00 fasting is starting to slowly be mostly consistent. Now to get my intake up, but being a picky eater sometimes makes that difficult.
 
#2 Drink 2 bottles of water
Yes.
 
#3 Walking
N/A
 
#4 Therapy
No.
 
#5 Medication
No.

Yesterday was kinda hectic and social, so I had to rest. Maybe today I can get to replies.
Did spend some time making my sheet fancy :)
Mostly for challenge 14

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My days seem to be really intense. Sorry guys.

Just proved I can get my foot to hurt without a bike!
It is really my quadriceps, as the leg press with my toes is able to get the same effect.
So exerting pressure with my toes/ball of my foot in a downward motion gets my toes all annoyed.

I did some walking and stairmaster. But I was really just not into it.
Gym = Spinning it seems lol.

If only the "Dance Party" virtual class wasn't at 19:30... Pfff I wanna try it out some day!
But it's only that late or super early when I'm normally on my way to work.
Might go another day to the other gym for it. It's only a 10 min bike ride from home.
(We would go there, but it's new and doesn't have spinning yet)
I wanna know what exactly it is.

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Data concerning 16-jan-18

#1 Intermittent fasting
14.5 hours. Stopped eating at 20:00 thanks to gym day.
 
#2 Drink 2 bottles of water
Yes.
 
#3 Walking
N/A
 
#4 Therapy
No.
 
#5 Medication
No.

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Thanks to the power of Google keep. I present you all with responses.

 

 

 

 

 

Let's see what I can remember without quoting stuff.
 Nice I decided against this method lol. 

 

 

 

For triggers, I like using different ones for different things. And it's something I'm still working on. I only have four alarms, two for waking up (in case one doesn't work), one for getting ready for work, and one for leaving for work (the last two have unique ring tones). My medication has a reminder notification, so it has it's own notification sound, and then it leaves a notification on my phone until I tap the "done" button. For other habits, I try to tack them on to other things. Like last night with flossing my teeth, I thought "well, I'm already in the bathroom, I might as well do this while I'm here." It takes a long time for things to stick, but I think I'm trying to make a consistent routine. 
 I have a wake up light for getting up. An alarm for leaving. But in the evening a ton of alarms for doing stuff...Even if the notification stands until done is pressed, I'm that weird person who's like "not now" and presses done

Brushing my teeth has become a habit thanks to always doing it together with my BF.

Other things are a routine already, but unfortunately taking medication isn't one of them. Same goes for PT.

One day I'll write my own task app and it'll be glorious and etc. I'm very picky and generally bump into flaws with just about any task tracking app ^^; (currently using Tasks an Astrid clone on Android)

 

 

 

 

One idea I had for structuring challenges was to just have three goals. The first would be a group of habits from previous challenges that I've gotten good at (but if I don't include them I don't think about them and then they don't get done). The second would be a habit from previous challenges that still need a lot of work. And the third would be something new I want to try. (But I always end up wanting to do a lot of new things, so I've never actually tried it even though I think it would work really well for me. >_
 That sounds like a really great idea!!I currently have 6 habits I want to do.

No snacking, IF, drinking water

Therapy / PT, walking, cycling / spinning

Medication & creativity.

Some are happening more than others. Especially the first 3 feel important.

 

 

 

 

Sometimes when I'm feeling depressed and someone is bugging me for an answer, I'll say "my brain hates me". (Or I'll start getting smart with them and talk their ear off about clinical depression.) If it's my psychiatrist asking, I'll try to find an answer, and if I can't it's just "I don't know" and that's fine (if it is something external, it means I should work on it in therapy, if it's IDK, it's talk to my therapist and keep an eye on it and if it doesn't get better we'll look at changing my medication).
 Yeah, for me if I don't have a reason it usually means I'm just drained. I just need some time to recharge my reserves and get going again. 

 

 

 

I forget words in English a lot (and it's the only language I speak), or I just never learned the word, so I do the describing thing a lot. It can make communicating tricky if I'm having trouble describing it to and it's just "that thing..." (I have sometimes grabbed the thing or a picture of it to just show them "this thing! IDK what it is, but this!")
 Haha yeah. It's just more of not at all knowing the word compared to forgetting it. I feel my word knowledge in English is quite limited if you get beyond the basics for conversations / what I pick up in movies and the like.Then again it's often also words I don't know the Dutch name for, so I allow myself to fail lol.

And often it comes to what describing word goes with this. (Eg the higher resistance thing)

 

 

 

 

 

I like the idea of replying to depression feelings with a cause, I never thought of that! I got suggested to see a counsellor for stress and is now on my todo (I need the report first, and I think I will get it tomorrow). The leaflet I received says to create a worrybox: when something worries me I should write it down to worry about in a set time. Then I read all of it together and worry about it if it still worries me. What you say reminds me of a depressionbox, is it?
 Nice. I know my BF sometimes tries to get me to use a worry box to get to sleeping etc. He would sit down with me and go through everything I have in my mind and putting it in a box and at the end setting it aside saying, it'll be there in the morning and you can open it and deal with it, right now it's sleep time. 

It's hard for me though, because it's a really abstract thing. Hence I have trouble with it.

But writing has helped me work through things before.

 

 

 

 

Regarding the English, I used to have that issue so bad when I knew Italian only, to the point of calling mozzarella tomato because you use them together in the caprese. Or when in kindergarden I said that one teacher was darker and the other was 'finger on the cheek' gesture, that in Italian meant delicious, but I meant my skin color...I find English easier because if I can rember the word in Italian, chance is that a similar word in English exists, otherwise people will be more understanding because I'm not native. Also, I find that thinking in English slows my mind down enough to reduce distractions and it happens less until I very tired, when my whole mind goes on shut down :/Not suggesting you to change country so you are speaking a different language, just sharing some of my findings because I find amazing that I struggle more in my native! 

 

 I don't have to change country to switch my language lol.We play D&D with a nice combo of Dutch and English. It's a mess, but we all understand each other.

I feel it helps we get taught English from an early age.

Thanks to the internet I did do a lot in English so that my mind is not necessarily slower with it than with Dutch. Oops.

In my teens I would have trouble with Dutch as my mind was just reprogrammed to English.

It's more balanced now though

 

May not be the pretties post, but best I could do on my phone/Tapatalk

 

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

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Wow totally killing it today at work.
Finally found my motivation and focus again!
It makes me happy.
I also finished a large project, so that probably helps. It had me dragging my feet.

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

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6 hours ago, Siferiax said:

Wow totally killing it today at work.
Finally found my motivation and focus again!
It makes me happy.
I also finished a large project, so that probably helps. It had me dragging my feet.

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk
 

YAY! :D  Go, Sif~!   

 

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 I don't have to change country to switch my language lol.We play D&D with a nice combo of Dutch and English. It's a mess, but we all understand each other.I feel it helps we get taught English from an early age.
Thanks to the internet I did do a lot in English so that my mind is not necessarily slower with it than with Dutch. Oops.
In my teens I would have trouble with Dutch as my mind was just reprogrammed to English.
It's more balanced now though
 
May not be the pretties post, but best I could do on my phone/Tapatalk
 
Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk


Sorry, I did know you are Dutch, but just completely forgot when I wrote!
I haven't started with the worrybox, nor counselling... kind of drifted out of by head as I was so busy/stressed :(
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Sorry, I did know you are Dutch, but just completely forgot when I wrote!
I haven't started with the worrybox, nor counselling... kind of drifted out of by head as I was so busy/stressed


No it's fine :) after all I still live in the Netherlands lol.

Aw, you'll get there. Counciling is helpful when you're stressed though ;)
Definitely look into going and feel better!!

----

Back to your normal scheduled Sif programming. Lol. Sorry I was away, I just had to spend a LOVELY weekend with my BF in a luxury hotel suite XD
I hope nobody blames me for enjoying myself.
We had all you can eat sushi both Friday evening and Sunday afternoon. Lol the lunch session was a lot more quiet.
Saturday we went for a walk, 7 km!
It went mostly well. Just it was ridiculously cold and a harsh wind.
We went for pancakes that night nom! And watched Star Trek on this huge TV from the huge bed
Unfortunately we couldn't do late check-out. But we bridged the time with some sushi and then went to Star Wars in the cinema :D
After that it was already time to go home.
But I truly had a great weekend!!

I managed to somewhat stay on schedule with my goals :) at least the most important one right now: IF.
Here's my progress:
Intermittent fasting: 68%
Drink 2 bottles of water: 71%
Therapy: 12%
Walking: 100%
Take medication: 17%

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

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11 hours ago, Siferiax said:

Back to your normal scheduled Sif programming. Lol. Sorry I was away, I just had to spend a LOVELY weekend with my BF in a luxury hotel suite XD
I hope nobody blames me for enjoying myself.
We had all you can eat sushi both Friday evening and Sunday afternoon. Lol the lunch session was a lot more quiet.
Saturday we went for a walk, 7 km!
It went mostly well. Just it was ridiculously cold and a harsh wind.
We went for pancakes that night nom! And watched Star Trek on this huge TV from the huge bed emoji14.png
Unfortunately we couldn't do late check-out. But we bridged the time with some sushi and then went to Star Wars in the cinema :D
After that it was already time to go home.
But I truly had a great weekend!!

Oh!  How lovely! :D  Of course, we don't blame you!  That all you can eat sushi sounds wonderful~.  ...and I now want pancakes. :P  It's good to hear you had such a nice weekend. :D 

 

11 hours ago, Siferiax said:

I managed to somewhat stay on schedule with my goals :) at least the most important one right now: IF.
Here's my progress:
Intermittent fasting: 68%
Drink 2 bottles of water: 71%
Therapy: 12%
Walking: 100%
Take medication: 17%

Yay for progress! :D 

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