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Bean Sidhe

Bean Sidhe Vs Chaos - Back to the path

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1 minute ago, Wobbegong said:

I hope you're able to exercise anyway! I feel this way about cleaning, I have a lot of trouble doing it if anyone else can witness it happening. I don't have any suggestions, but I'm rooting for you!

 

Thanks. I think its the whole "No one wants to see me do that atm" (Same reasons gyms are out, I jiggle too much)


So far, I have been able to get some cleaning done, some rearranging done and other random things. In fact, I was feeling all super productive and I made serious progress in the basement, and then I went up and folded some laundry and decided to bring down this basket of clothes and things teh Agents said they didn't need anymore.

Bad idea.

As I was sorting into the "go to charity" and "keep cause htey loved it so it means something" I started to notice some of the clothes smelled... off. By the end, I sorted 2 piles. One to wash and give to good will and one to wash and keep if I can make it not nasty. Why is it nasty, I am starting to wonder if Agent Feline used it as a litter box during one of his last 2 stomach issues. It smells kinda like cat pee but not quite. SO after sorting all of that, then no matter what I felt like I smelled so I changed clothes. (No shower because too many people).

I am glad I found it, but its making me more worried about Agent Feline. Its not like him to do that, but who knows. The basket is out of the hallway, so maybe it stops. I mean it didn't smell recent if that makes sense and nothign was still wet. So I am thinking it happened a bit ago since I didn't smell anything until I started to empty the basket.

So I feel productive, but not. I mean it was just suppose to be 2 loads of laundry to get it all done before family comes and I can't do laundry for 3 days. And I don't want to freak anyone out since extra people and this could mean Agent Feline isn't in as good of shape as I was hoping..

and yes, I had another "add another thing to the list" to deal with. Upside, I probably have enough stuff I sorted out today (before the laundry) from cleaning a few things to do another run to Charity.

 

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OMG.... Guys... I am like completely speechless.  Something completely awesome has happened.

So you know we have a weekend of all the people in our house, the fairly OCD people who make me nuts because goodness forbid there be a clump of dog hair. Usually at this point (ie, less than 12 hours out) we are scrambling to make the house presentable let alone deal with the dog hair. I mean seriously presentable. Like Excuse me while I spend 3 hours cleaning the kitchen for both of us..

Today we had to run errands and get dinner. We came back about 7 pm and With the help of Eldest Agent, Youngest Agent and Hubby, We are over 90% done. Hubby is finishing up a few things in the kitchen (cleaning the stove top, sweeping, toliet) and we are done done. Everything is cleaned and put away. its not going to be a in a magazine anytime soon, but I got more cleaned than I usually do. I was able to do a bit deeper clean in some areas, and I am happy to say that if the family came into the house right now, I would not be embarrassed.

Which means, this is HARD PROOF that my goals to keep those few surfaces clean is working. There is no "OMG, put away all the crap that has been living here" before we can even clean the counters.

 

tumblr_omx0i9oPqq1uztscio1_500.gif

 

So IT IS WORKING. Blarg can take that. I have proof that all my little 5 minute jobs is doing something at least as far as the cleaning goes.
 

I am off to do the rest of my chores and maybe even have a cider. No late night cleaning sessions here.

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12 minutes ago, Bean Sidhe said:

Which means, this is HARD PROOF that my goals to keep those few surfaces clean is working. There is no "OMG, put away all the crap that has been living here" before we can even clean the counters.

 

tumblr_omx0i9oPqq1uztscio1_500.gif

 

So IT IS WORKING. Blarg can take that. I have proof that all my little 5 minute jobs is doing something at least as far as the cleaning goes.
 

I am off to do the rest of my chores and maybe even have a cider. No late night cleaning sessions here.

 

The UfYH method works! :P

 

Seriously, great news and good for you. Enjoy the great feeling of a job well done! High five!

 

And what do you mean, "maybe"? You EARNED that cider!  :applouse:

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Okay I apologize in advance for making a giant post where I respond to a zillion things.

 

On 2/1/2018 at 8:54 AM, Bean Sidhe said:

(the woman once got me a pink shirt (I can't stand pink, never have and she knew that) that spelled mom out in laundry. None of that was me.).

 

This is...weird. I know a lot of mothers and I cannot think of one single person who would want that shirt.

 

On 2/1/2018 at 12:12 PM, Bean Sidhe said:

My mom got on my case about "Did you see the new Mutant show on FOX" Mom, Between school work and kids, I don't watch much of anything. "Well you need to. Mutants are your thing after all...." Then 20 minutes of why I should be watching it.

 

This reminds me of the time that @LoganW's mum tried to convince them that they should be watching The Big Bang Theory because she heard it was about nerds and we're nerds so clearly we need to watch it. She was bizarrely invested in the idea. Like, she got offended when Logan wasn't interested, or thought Logan was being difficult, or something.

 

I actually like getting recommendations from people on things they've read/listened to/watched and want to share with others, but only if it's presented as an optional thing. When people get too pushy about it, it immediately makes me want to not read/watch the thing.  

 

On 3/1/2018 at 11:30 AM, Bean Sidhe said:

Here is the day in review. I need to get back on track. I just don't want to today. I Just don't care, but that won't get me any farther on the path

 

Just wanted to say that everyone has days like this and I hope you weren't too hard on yourself for it. Something I like to remind myself is that it's not what our best day or our worst day looks like that really matters: it's the average day over time that determines our health and productivity. Focus on the average, and let the blips even themselves out over time without discouraging you. 

 

On 3/1/2018 at 3:29 PM, Bean Sidhe said:

Okay, so I am about done with people today. I sent out Invites for Youngest's birthday A MONTH AGO. 1 month. I asked for RSVP in the form of text or phone call. Not hard I thought. Before today I only had 3 RSVPs, (1 mom told me when we did a sleepover, one mom texted me YESTERDAY, and my MIL). My own parents never RSVP since they just assume we know they are coming. and MIL let me know about her mother  (so at this point, I had 2 kids plus my own RSVP and 6 adults TOTAL)

Seriously, is Planning becoming a superpower. I don't know how much easier I can make this. I mean the party is SUNDAY and your just now thinking about telling me. Ordering cupcakes and things isn't a 1 day thing. at least not when you have food allergies to consider.  

 

Argh, I feel you so so much on this. I know several people (some at work, some friends, some family) who are just really really really bad with scheduling and following through on things and getting back to people and it drives me nuts. I try not to have unrealistic expectations but like...who schedules a party for 6pm and then calls you at noon to tell you it's now happening at 2pm? Oh right, my in-laws. Or they call us on Friday night to invite us to something Saturday. And they get so affronted if you can't make the last-minute time, like we're supposed to be on call or something. Why do people do this?? I honestly find it hard because I tend to interpret it as a lack of consideration for me/my time, and I get offended. But then I try not to be offended...what a mess. These other parents are lucky you're doing all this extra work to compensate for their thoughtlessness, IMO.

 

On 4/1/2018 at 10:27 AM, Bean Sidhe said:

We think we figure out what happened:

So the spot that got ice in it is the corner of Youngest's room. She had piled her stuffed animals in this corner (So they acted as insulation and blocked warm air from moving that way). the part that made this an issue is that corner is 2 exterior walls, and sticks out over the side of the house, so there is cold air effectively below it and on both sides. We THINK that what happened was the warm hit the cold wall and condensed some moisture. From there, the moisture traveled down the wall to this hidden cold spot and then froze. The warm air couldn't get to it due to the pile of stuff animals. Because once I removed all of those and found the issue, it eventually melted away last night. So the good news is that it didn't seem to come in from outside. At the same point, this is still a bit of an issue and once the spring comes up, we will need to figure out of we can add some extra insulation to that area. So yeah, hopefully we don't have to pull the siding or anything to do this, but that may be a thing.

 

Uggggggh. I really hope you don't need to do repairs. But yeah there might be moisture trapped inside the wall so there could be mould growing. Sometimes home ownership really sucks.

 

Does your state/city have any programs to help with home weatherization? In Massachusetts there's this thing where you can get a free energy efficiency assessment from the electric company, and they make recommendations about where you could add additional insulation or whatever, and they you get a credit for a certain amount of free insulation as part of the program. 

 

Anyway I really loved the story of how your family worked together to get everything cleaned  :)  And a huge YAY that your approach of keeping surfaces clean made it work. It's always nice, after we design these challenges and expend brainpower/willpower on following through, to see them actually having a positive impact in a concrete way.

 

You're awesome and have been trudging through a lot of difficult situations without getting defeated, so hats off. And keep on going!  :D

 

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5 minutes ago, Severine said:

Argh, I feel you so so much on this. I know several people (some at work, some friends, some family) who are just really really really bad with scheduling and following through on things and getting back to people and it drives me nuts. I try not to have unrealistic expectations but like...who schedules a party for 6pm and then calls you at noon to tell you it's now happening at 2pm? Oh right, my in-laws. Or they call us on Friday night to invite us to something Saturday. And they get so affronted if you can't make the last-minute time, like we're supposed to be on call or something. Why do people do this??

 

I can tell you why my in-laws do it to us. Whether that helps you deal with yours or not, that's a different story.

 

Initial necessary info about myself and the husband: We are both strong introverts. One full-time job each. No children. All adult friends have left town, due to work commitments and life happening. No high-profile volunteer commitments, no involvement in sports leagues, no big group activities in our lives that are clearly visible to others. We don't run marathons, we don't volunteer at public events, we're not in local rec leagues for any sport, we don't host social events at our house every chance we get... because, as mentioned, introverts.

 

Introvert also means we don't volunteer details about ourselves and our lives to anyone, regardless of who they are, unless the details actually impact them somehow. For example, my in-laws don't know that I have stared Stronglifts. Why should they? It has nothing to do with them, and there is no reason for them to know. Obviously I won't hide it from them if they ask, but it has honestly never occurred to me to tell anyone outside NF about Stronglifts (aside from my husband of course). What would be the point of that?

 

Now, combine the above with the fact that the in-laws is a family dominated by energetic extroverts, and you get this: It honestly never occurs to them that we might have plans. That "plans" can involve just him and me and what we have decided to do, and still be plans that we can't or won't cancel on short notice. In their extroverted world, introverts who by their standards don't have any social commitments, are seen as sitting home by ourselves, waiting for someone to call or visit and give us something to do. Not only are we expected not to mind receiving a phone call on Saturday afternoon that invites us to spend most of Sunday with them, we're actually expected to be grateful for a chance to get out of the house and meet people. (Newsflash: We're not.  Because introverted.)

 

And when we aren't, their feelings are genuinely hurt, because they see this as a rejection of them personally, because they don't get it. We have tried to explain that just because we're not planning to go attend a big county fair somewhere doesn't mean we don't have plans, and that we are not capable of dropping everything on short notice, but I have no idea if we're getting through to them. We keep trying, because they're family, but it remains a frustrating source of tension between us. They are offended that we don't drop everything and come socialize, because they genuinely believe that if we wanted to spend time with them we would (and that's why they take it personally). And we are irritated and offended that they refuse to see us as adults with a life of our own, who can't just drop at a moment's notice just because they are suddenly feeling needy, because we believe that if they actually cared bout us at all they'd make more of an effort to understand and respect our point of view.

 

Catch-22 of introverts and extroverts not understanding each other. 

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55 minutes ago, scalyfreak said:

I can tell you why my in-laws do it to us. Whether that helps you deal with yours or not, that's a different story. 

 

Yeah, I think a lot of what you wrote holds true for us. My in-laws have certain types of obligations that they regard as valid, which basically boil down to work, other family events, or events to which you have tickets. If you can't come to something because you're attending a concert, or working late, or babysitting your nephew, they totally understand. But basically anything else they regard as negotiable and able to be abandoned if the chance to spend time with family comes up, because they think it should take primacy. So we're planning to go see a movie, or have dinner out, or play board games, or go for a run or whatever? We're expected to cancel or reschedule if they decide to schedule a family lunch last-minute.

 

Of course, we don't. But then we get grief for it. And god forbid our 'plans' be just hanging out at home reading, or spending time together, which they view as sitting around and doing nothing. On our last vacation my MIL joined us at the house we'd rented for a couple days (we invited her because we were trying to be nice!) and made a whole bunch of comments about how lazy we were for just sitting around. On our vacation.

 

And yeah, there end up being hurt feelings on both sides. It's unfortunate!

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Following along!

 

Glad your cleaning goal's going well, it was really nice to read about the family pitching in to get everything done.

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Proper responses to everyone later. The family came in for christmas today didn't tell us they were coming in late until AFTER we cleaned last night so we did a whole bunch of stuff this morning to keep us from doing the "what are we forgetting" as a result, I forgot to get this up.

Yesterday went well for the most part. I got a ton of deep cleaning type stuff done. We were ready for everyone last night. I did get to bed about 15 minutes late because I forgot I needed to take a shower before bed, and I Forgot to wipe down the sink after because it was cold and I wanted a warm bed. neither are good excuses.

And they just pulled up. Of course.

One good thing, proof that everything is working and my agents time was cuddles.

Now if people could plan or let others know the plan, that would be good.
 

Goal

Description

1/5/2018

Nutrition

120 oz water

y

Strength

Leg lifts

35

 

sit ups

55

 

Reverse sit ups

15

 

Push ups

16

 

Balance Ball push ups

6

Flexibility

Wrist Extension Stretch

y

 

Upward dog/Child pose

y

 

Butterfly

y

 

Ballet/toe Touch

y

 

Meditating Groot

y

Life and Family

Spend time with Agents

y

 

One good thing

y

 

Plan

y

 

Be in bed by 11:30

n

 

Check seedlings

y

Fight Chaos

Pennisula/Island

y

Clean all these daily

Table

y

 

Desk

y

 

Bathroom up

n

 

Bathroom down

y

At least 5 minutes per room (at least one)

Bedroom

y

 

Computer room

y

 

Basement

y

 

Clean Half wall

y

Walking

Walk 10500 steps

10794

 

Walk 15 minutes a day

y

 

Walk to Mordor

y

 

Total points for day 13.8/15

Total points for entire challenge 91.4/105

 

Bonus Goals

1/5/2018

Eat dried apricots

y

Eat Banana

y

Eat yogurt

y

 

Total Bonus points for day 3/3   

Total bonus points for entire challenge 20/ 21

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3 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

Now if people could plan or let others know the plan, that would be good.

Mood. 

 

Have fun at your second round of Christmas! This one is found family, right? Close friends etc? 

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2 things that are running around my head today.

A) I got a text from one of my chosen sisters last night after the family (blood) went home. We got to talking about my weight and hers (She is bigger than I am, but now expecting) and she kinda tried to talk me into weight loss surgery. She was going to do it, but the baby put that on  hold. I feel kinda... hurt. Like she didn't think I could do it otherwise, and at the same time sad because that was the first answer she went to. I mean, I really want to do this in a way where I don't have to live a restricted life after (weird diet due to surgery, constant acid reflux issues). and I want to believe I Can do this. I want to think "Yes, I can do this, it may take time, but it will go somewhere."  I am sad because she sees no other way, when part of her thing is she only wants to do the fun things. I don't. I just have issues with time and with money. I would love to see a nutritionist like she suggested (shes diabetic so that's a normal thing) but my insurance won't cover it unless I become diabetic or get something else that requires it. I just don't like the idea, but is that all she thinks? I can't do this, and what if she is right and then I get into the "Am I wasting my time and energy" and then Blarg gets going.

B.) The weather is suppose to get nasty today and today is Youngest's party. We already had the grandparents we scheduled this around cancel, (which I understand, I do, but now I need to find time to schedule dinner with them for her get her presents and I am slightly mad I could of done this later this month and given myself breathing room). and now I am worried how many others may call off. Oh and some food was coming with that set of grandparents, so I hope I have enough other stuff

So that's just random stuff rolling around. I am not functioning like I would like to so far. Mostly because I have a case of "Why bother" but I am hoping I can shake it. I need to update my challenge for yesterday (Spoiler, not much got done) and I need to respond to all you wonderful people. I have been reading them. Just not replying, and I need to play catch up everywhere since I know people have been busy. I have about an hour before people start arriving, I should be productive somewhere.

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So yesterday went well once it got where it was suppose to be. It was the last blood family Christmas and the Agents had a blast. However, once it was done, I got this weird sense of "now I have more stuff" since again, about 1/4 of the stuff needs returned since they bought stuff they didn't tell us about, and stuff they did buy us we knew about, someone else bought so yeah, more returns. This is why I make the list, and why I ask people to tell me. I have about 20 things to return to at least 6 places Not counting the return we did yesterday.  All that takes time (and we have almost no receipts) so we get that added hassle. It just feels like more work for me to do and I Don't know how I will do it. Hubby has offered, but he works out of town, so only way to do it is weekends, and oh yeah, we are booked till feb. At least the last Christmas is the fun one.  (and these are the inlaws that don't like animals so FIL likes to tell Agent K9 to go play in the street)  (that is Hubby's to deal with)
 

In a try to make yesterday seem good, this was a "Lets see what happens when I don't try" day. I literally didn't look at my bullet journal or my spreadsheet. I just did what I Could and checked today. It seemed like I could of done better, but I got more than I thought. so taking that as it is.

In good things, The we all had a good time with the family. Aside from a few comments and the present thing, everyone got along and we had a great visit. . The did return some stuff we sent to my nephew (apparently he outgrew it) so I have a huge box of stuff to sort through. Sadly, that got "stashed" in the basement till I can deal with it. My biggest fear is Eldest will get upset if I try to send it to charity when he was fine giving it to nephew.

 

In time with Agents, Youngest kinda 'forced" (walked up, started handing out dice and paper and said "Now we are going to play" ) everyone to play her made up game which is kinda a weird version of D and D. Its things like last night we came across a set of Christmas lights that became our friends and A baby vampire that had no teeth so as soon as you touched it, it became a regular baby. She did well dealing with the grandparents who don't understand gaming but we had a ton of fun.

 

Here is the spreadsheet. All in all, for not trying, it could of been worse. Could of been better too.

 

Goal

Description

n

Nutrition

120 oz water

10

Strength

Leg lifts

15

 

sit ups

53

 

Reverse sit ups

0

 

Push ups

0

 

Balance Ball push ups

y

Flexibility

Wrist Extension Stretch

n

 

Upward dog/Child pose

n

 

Butterfly

n

 

Ballet/toe Touch

n

 

Meditating Groot

n

Life and Family

Spend time with Agents

y

 

One good thing

n

 

Plan

y

 

Be in bed by 11:30

y

 

Check seedlings

y

Fight Chaos

Pennisula/Island

y

Clean all these daily

Table

y

 

Desk

n

 

Bathroom up

y

 

Bathroom down

n

At least 5 minutes per room (at least one)

Bedroom

y

 

Computer room

n

 

Basement

y

 

Clean Half wall

4376

Walking

Walk 10500 steps

n

 

Walk 15 minutes a day

y

 

Walk to Mordor

n

 

Total points for day 6.8/15

Total points for entire challenge 98.2/120

 

Bonus Goals

1/6/2018

Eat dried apricots

n

Eat Banana

n

Eat yogurt

y

 

Total Bonus points for day 1/3   

Total bonus points for entire challenge 21/ 24

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Oof. What a couple of days. FWIW, I don't think your friend pushing the surgery really has anything to do with you at all. She could be projecting because she's disappointed she can't do it right now, she might think she's being really helpful because since it was an option for her she thinks it's a great idea for everyone, maybe she just doesn't understand how important it is to you to do it yourself. I don't know her so I could totally be wrong, but I do know you and I think you're doing fine. I know it's not going as fast as you'd like but the fact that you're keeping up with what you're doing right now despite the busy schedule and the general bullshit life tends to send your way is awesome. There are plenty of people who would just say "I'm too busy, this is too much, I just won't do anything until it all settles down." (been there, done that.) You're miles ahead of those people. You know what your goals are. And you'll get there no matter what Blarg is telling you, so you should punch him in his stupid ugly face. 

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2 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

A) I got a text from one of my chosen sisters last night after the family (blood) went home. We got to talking about my weight and hers (She is bigger than I am, but now expecting) and she kinda tried to talk me into weight loss surgery. She was going to do it, but the baby put that on  hold. I feel kinda... hurt. Like she didn't think I could do it otherwise, and at the same time sad because that was the first answer she went to. I mean, I really want to do this in a way where I don't have to live a restricted life after (weird diet due to surgery, constant acid reflux issues). and I want to believe I Can do this. I want to think "Yes, I can do this, it may take time, but it will go somewhere."  I am sad because she sees no other way, when part of her thing is she only wants to do the fun things. I don't. I just have issues with time and with money. I would love to see a nutritionist like she suggested (shes diabetic so that's a normal thing) but my insurance won't cover it unless I become diabetic or get something else that requires it. I just don't like the idea, but is that all she thinks? I can't do this, and what if she is right and then I get into the "Am I wasting my time and energy" and then Blarg gets going.

 

This hit home for me, because someone who has been a good friend for 10+ years recently told me that she's thinking of doing gastric bypass. In her case, her parents (who hate that she is fat) have offered to pay for anything not covered by insurance. They're pressuring her to do it. They suggested it to her years ago too, and back then she was offended and told them no, but now after a couple years have gone by and she hasn't been able to lose the weight, I think she's been worn down because now she's thinking about it. Anyway, it makes me sad because I know how many complications there can be and how it leaves you in many cases unable to lead a normal life - one of my former coworkers had the surgery and she can't even drink a full glass of water at one time without pain from overfilling her stomach. And I know my friend is only considering it because she's kind of desperate. I didn't try to talk her out of it, exactly, because I don't like to interfere with people's medical choices and it's got to be her decision. But I tried to get her to talk to me about her reasons and what she thought about the risks. And basically what it came down to is that she is so miserable being fat and so hopeless about her ability to make changes on her own that she's willing to take basically any risk for the chance to be smaller. Which to me is scary, and not a good mindset for making decisions. Sigh. I'm sorry your friend is in a similar position.

 

I think obviously for some people in some cases, the surgery might be worth it. But my friend is in a situation like me, where a lot of her eating is emotionally motivated. Having surgery might change the biological situation of stomach size or whatever, but it won't fix her reasons for wanting to overeat. In some cases people can get themselves in serious medical trouble if they keep trying to overeat despite their stomach no longer being big enough, and I'm a bit worried that might happen to my friend.

 

Anyway as for your friend, I doubt she is recommending it to you because she thinks you can't do it on your own. More like she wants other people to do it with her so that it feels like a more normal, less scary thing to do. And if other people think of it as the only way to lose weight, perhaps she feels more justified seeing it that way. It might just be hard for her to know someone who is trying to do it through diet and exercise, because if it works, it means she should have tried that too. 

 

Just listen to your own intuition and follow your own principles. You have to do what's right for you. Your friend will make her own choices, but what she believes and what she chooses doesn't have to affect you.

 

2 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

So that's just random stuff rolling around. I am not functioning like I would like to so far. Mostly because I have a case of "Why bother" but I am hoping I can shake it. I need to update my challenge for yesterday (Spoiler, not much got done) and I need to respond to all you wonderful people. I have been reading them. Just not replying, and I need to play catch up everywhere since I know people have been busy. I have about an hour before people start arriving, I should be productive somewhere.

 

I know I've said this before but don't let responding to people become an obligation. Do it if you have time, but don't worry if a few days go by where you just don't comment. Everyone understands. We all do it from time to time. It's better to take breaks when you need them than to let the forums start to feel like work so that it's just one more duty on your list.

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So I am finally getting to responses. I am going to try and catch up. I may be about 1/2 half dead since I still have one kid here from the party and the last of the clean up to do. Especially since I have only kinda been gone 2 days and it feels like its been 2 weeks.

 

On 1/5/2018 at 8:33 PM, scalyfreak said:

 

The UfYH method works! :P

 

Seriously, great news and good for you. Enjoy the great feeling of a job well done! High five!

 

And what do you mean, "maybe"? You EARNED that cider!  :applouse:

 

 

I was quite happy since normally its a huge endeavor to get the house clean enough I don't feel like a slob. But no cider was had since I got on the treadmill then I didn't really want one. Tonight... probably.

 

 

On 1/5/2018 at 8:43 PM, fleaball said:

YAAAAAAAY!!

 

Not going to lie, I am rather happy and not shocked how little things can cheer me up.

 

 

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On 1/6/2018 at 1:28 PM, Severine said:

Okay I apologize in advance for making a giant post where I respond to a zillion things.

 

 

No worries. I do it to, and I am never mind when people bring up old topics either.

 

On 1/6/2018 at 1:28 PM, Severine said:

This is...weird. I know a lot of mothers and I cannot think of one single person who would want that shirt.

 

 

That was my thought. Honestly, it was really goofy but she thought it was the cutest mom shirt ever. I thought it reminded me more of laundry I needed to do.

 

 

On 1/6/2018 at 1:28 PM, Severine said:

This reminds me of the time that @LoganW's mum tried to convince them that they should be watching The Big Bang Theory because she heard it was about nerds and we're nerds so clearly we need to watch it. She was bizarrely invested in the idea. Like, she got offended when Logan wasn't interested, or thought Logan was being difficult, or something.

 

This I have had happen. And especially with that show. I can't do it since it feels like its proving the stereotypes I had to fight as a kid. but its weird how someone feels that someone else has to like or what not the same things. Even the Agents understand that people can have different opinions.

 

On 1/6/2018 at 1:28 PM, Severine said:

I actually like getting recommendations from people on things they've read/listened to/watched and want to share with others, but only if it's presented as an optional thing. When people get too pushy about it, it immediately makes me want to not read/watch the thing.  

 

I don't generally mind people giving me ideas. The problem is right now, TV is almost non-existent for me. SO its even worse when they keep pushing like "You have time, you just don't manage it so I am going to continue to push the idea because your just not listening" No I listen, but I don't have time.

 

On 1/6/2018 at 1:28 PM, Severine said:

 

Just wanted to say that everyone has days like this and I hope you weren't too hard on yourself for it. Something I like to remind myself is that it's not what our best day or our worst day looks like that really matters: it's the average day over time that determines our health and productivity. Focus on the average, and let the blips even themselves out over time without discouraging you. 

 

I eventually got better about it. I am trying to have the days average better than not, but sometimes, especially when I am so worn down (and/or hormonal) its not as easy to remember that overall, I am doing better. Those are the days that I am wasting what time and energy I have, and I could use that exercise time for tv or more homework. (and then the cycle repeats).

 

On 1/6/2018 at 1:28 PM, Severine said:

Argh, I feel you so so much on this. I know several people (some at work, some friends, some family) who are just really really really bad with scheduling and following through on things and getting back to people and it drives me nuts. I try not to have unrealistic expectations but like...who schedules a party for 6pm and then calls you at noon to tell you it's now happening at 2pm? Oh right, my in-laws. Or they call us on Friday night to invite us to something Saturday. And they get so affronted if you can't make the last-minute time, like we're supposed to be on call or something. Why do people do this?? I honestly find it hard because I tend to interpret it as a lack of consideration for me/my time, and I get offended. But then I try not to be offended...what a mess. These other parents are lucky you're doing all this extra work to compensate for their thoughtlessness, IMO.

 

The last 2 RSVP on Thursday night. Youngest Agent was happy to have all her friends here, but yeah, I seem surrounded by people who can't plan. Usually its not a big deal, but when you get in times like this where every day is booked, you can't just assume I am going to have time to work around what you think is the correct timing.

 

On 1/6/2018 at 1:28 PM, Severine said:

 

Uggggggh. I really hope you don't need to do repairs. But yeah there might be moisture trapped inside the wall so there could be mold growing. Sometimes home ownership really sucks.

 

So far, not too bad. I am a bit worried about moisture in the wall but it seems to have dried okay. That is now an issue for Spring me. not for current me.

 

On 1/6/2018 at 1:28 PM, Severine said:

 

Does your state/city have any programs to help with home weatherization? In Massachusetts there's this thing where you can get a free energy efficiency assessment from the electric company, and they make recommendations about where you could add additional insulation or whatever, and they you get a credit for a certain amount of free insulation as part of the program. 

 

I don't think so. We don't qualify for much, but I may see if we have any. We know the windows are bad, but it is a matter of funds. this is the first year we have had real issues, so who knows. I think its just a matter of "and there is one more thing to add to your pile"

 

On 1/6/2018 at 1:28 PM, Severine said:

Anyway I really loved the story of how your family worked together to get everything cleaned  :)  And a huge YAY that your approach of keeping surfaces clean made it work. It's always nice, after we design these challenges and expend brainpower/willpower on following through, to see them actually having a positive impact in a concrete way.

 

This did help and I am so proud of them all, but it was a great boost of "It may actually be working" which is always nice.

 

On 1/6/2018 at 1:28 PM, Severine said:

You're awesome and have been trudging through a lot of difficult situations without getting defeated, so hats off. And keep on going!  :D

 

 

I keep trying to move forward. Some days are easy, most aren't. If I keep waiting for things to be perfect, it will never happen.

 

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On 1/6/2018 at 2:13 PM, scalyfreak said:

 

I can tell you why my in-laws do it to us. Whether that helps you deal with yours or not, that's a different story.

Catch-22 of introverts and extroverts not understanding each other. 

 

This makes sense. My MIL is a complete Extrovert. She likes working retail and likes being out there to do all the things. Shes the one who will call and be like "I am stopping by because I was in town" without warning us. One day we were out of town when she tried.

FIL and step MIL aren't extroverts, but more they forget that other people plan. We only see them a  few times a year but they are retired and have all the time in the world. We don't.

I dunno, right now, I am just going to move on and deal with it later.

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On 1/6/2018 at 4:29 PM, Jarric said:

Following along!

 

Glad your cleaning goal's going well, it was really nice to read about the family pitching in to get everything done.

 

Its glad to have you following along. The whole plan is to have a house I don't hate all the time. its a slow process, but days like the other night prove it might be working.

 

16 hours ago, Wobbegong said:

Have fun at your second round of Christmas! This one is found family, right? Close friends etc? 


This was Christmas number #3. Well technically #4 if you count the one where its just us as a family. This was't chosen family but blood family thus the confusion. And it was the uber clean pick 1 piece of lint off the tile floor family which adds a bit of stress.

 

Next weekend is chosen family so that is the one that can take some stress to set up, but then we are good to go and I can actually relax instead of being hostess. Because once chosen family gets here, they clean the house, we hang, and they clean before they leave. Often the house looks better when they leave than when they got here. Which is why I love them and I don't mind the 30 people in my house.
 

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3 hours ago, fleaball said:

Oof. What a couple of days. FWIW, I don't think your friend pushing the surgery really has anything to do with you at all. She could be projecting because she's disappointed she can't do it right now, she might think she's being really helpful because since it was an option for her she thinks it's a great idea for everyone, maybe she just doesn't understand how important it is to you to do it yourself. I don't know her so I could totally be wrong, but I do know you and I think you're doing fine. I know it's not going as fast as you'd like but the fact that you're keeping up with what you're doing right now despite the busy schedule and the general bullshit life tends to send your way is awesome. There are plenty of people who would just say "I'm too busy, this is too much, I just won't do anything until it all settles down." (been there, done that.) You're miles ahead of those people. You know what your goals are. And you'll get there no matter what Blarg is telling you, so you should punch him in his stupid ugly face. 

 

You are probably right. I Think she is trying to do the "here is an answer". The problem is, I don't see it as an answer unless last resort. I see it as more problems that I will have to live with forever, and how would I even get it done. I can't even get sick for more than 10 minutes since I still have to keep going.

I am trying to try, which sounds dumb, but I don't know for a fact that I am getting anywhere, but I am going to take it as a step and hope it is. Do I wish it would go "poof" overnight, hell yes, but its not going to fix anything till I deal with the issue that caused it.

 

 

3 hours ago, Severine said:

 

This hit home for me, because someone who has been a good friend for 10+ years recently told me that she's thinking of doing gastric bypass. In her case, her parents (who hate that she is fat) have offered to pay for anything not covered by insurance. They're pressuring her to do it. They suggested it to her years ago too, and back then she was offended and told them no, but now after a couple years have gone by and she hasn't been able to lose the weight, I think she's been worn down because now she's thinking about it. Anyway, it makes me sad because I know how many complications there can be and how it leaves you in many cases unable to lead a normal life - one of my former coworkers had the surgery and she can't even drink a full glass of water at one time without pain from overfilling her stomach. And I know my friend is only considering it because she's kind of desperate. I didn't try to talk her out of it, exactly, because I don't like to interfere with people's medical choices and it's got to be her decision. But I tried to get her to talk to me about her reasons and what she thought about the risks. And basically what it came down to is that she is so miserable being fat and so hopeless about her ability to make changes on her own that she's willing to take basically any risk for the chance to be smaller. Which to me is scary, and not a good mindset for making decisions. Sigh. I'm sorry your friend is in a similar position.

 

I think for her, it was "I need to be thin for all these reasons" and having gone through 2 divorces didn't help that. She has medical things that make it harder, but I think it is that hopeless that having her slew of issues will never let her get there. I worry about her doing it, but if she is sure, the great, but right now, shes in a good place with some other things, so I think it is off the table.

 

3 hours ago, Severine said:

 

I think obviously for some people in some cases, the surgery might be worth it. But my friend is in a situation like me, where a lot of her eating is emotionally motivated. Having surgery might change the biological situation of stomach size or whatever, but it won't fix her reasons for wanting to overeat. In some cases people can get themselves in serious medical trouble if they keep trying to overeat despite their stomach no longer being big enough, and I'm a bit worried that might happen to my friend.

 

I had a friend who got it because he was actually so heavy that his legs were giving out (hes also ex military with bad knees to begin with) and they wouldn't do the knee surgery until the weight was gone. but yeah, that wasn't the same issue. He needed to get some weight gone so he could get better so he could exercise. And the surgery has caused him a ton of other issues I don't even want to think of. But its a matter of looking at how you got there and making sure you won't make the same mistakes.

 

3 hours ago, Severine said:

Anyway as for your friend, I doubt she is recommending it to you because she thinks you can't do it on your own. More like she wants other people to do it with her so that it feels like a more normal, less scary thing to do. And if other people think of it as the only way to lose weight, perhaps she feels more justified seeing it that way. It might just be hard for her to know someone who is trying to do it through diet and exercise, because if it works, it means she should have tried that too. 

 

This makes sense.

 

3 hours ago, Severine said:

Just listen to your own intuition and follow your own principles. You have to do what's right for you. Your friend will make her own choices, but what she believes and what she chooses doesn't have to affect you.

 

I guess the hardest part is this is the friend that got us into the urban homestead /gardening thing. Shes the one who gave us canning supplies and goes out to play in the garden with Youngest and I and who makes her own cheese and  things. Shes part of why I don't want pills if I can do it though real food, If I can control what I eat by growing it myself (not getting chickens, she can have those and the goats) then why eat the stuff from the store that has additives in it. I am not the "OMG.. it has salt" but I am a believer in grow and make what I can, and use real ingredients not things that are more chemical than organic. (and no, I don't usually buy the organic food for the record).

 

3 hours ago, Severine said:

 

I know I've said this before but don't let responding to people become an obligation. Do it if you have time, but don't worry if a few days go by where you just don't comment. Everyone understands. We all do it from time to time. It's better to take breaks when you need them than to let the forums start to feel like work so that it's just one more duty on your list.

 

Thanks, no these were conversations I wanted to have. And I wanted to see you all. The last few days have felt like weeks with everything going on. And challenge is off today because well, I am done. Like If I eat dinner I am calling it a win cause bed....

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In order to avoid doing anything for a bit longer, and so I can mark off my NF chore (what, its not a challenge one, but its in my bullet journal) I am going to get this done.

Sunday went well for the most part.

Youngest Agent had a blast at her party, except one set of relations didn't want to travel in the (It never hit) snow. That means I add another Birthday to the list of things to scheduled. (side note, I tried to schedule it with said relation after a "We need to do this as soon as possible and the weather holds" I sent our availability and never got a response. (and yes, this is one that NEVER PLANS).  I got a few lovely remarks from my family ("learn to say no and you will have time for us", "if you didn't eat so much.." then asks me to hand her some olives because she doesn't want to stand up from the chair 2 feet from the food). I also learned that I have another Christmas on Weds that I was unaware of and we are supposed to be at. I have no idea how that will work since Weds are our bad bad days. Ugh.

 

Other than that, things went well. Youngest loved her droid builder kit of R2D2. I haven;t sorted for duplicates yet, I saw a few but returns are a thing anymore. All the adults left with over an hour before the scheduled end of party leaving Hubby and I with 8 kids running around. Eldest's friend came over and kinda crashed the party, but I always have enough food and things so it wasn't an issue. The boys all had fun.

After the party and the clean up and the last child went home, I collapsed. Like I melted hard and fell into the couch and did nothing. Like I think I drooled on myself a bit. Hubby kinda put me there and got everyone fed and to bed, including me. So it was a good day, but I did nothing for the challenge. This is all stuff that got done, but I didn't even think of challenge for it.

One good thing that happened is I did have one adopted sister that came. I love her and we don't see as much as we would like since her boys are sports kids and do state and interstate meets for their sports. Not only did I see her but she hugged me and said "I think you lost weight." I told her I didn't think so, but I would take it. Shes also the super nice one who will always make you feel good no matter whats going on.

I spent a ton of time with Agents getting ready and then during the after party collapse. Youngest Agent snuggled up with me and determined I was hers so it was a thing.

 

Update for the day then I should go do something productive. I just don't wanna. But I know once I get going, I will be fine.

 

Goal

Description

1/7/2018

Nutrition

120 oz water

n

Strength

Leg lifts

0

 

sit ups

0

 

Reverse sit ups

0

 

Push ups

0

 

Balance Ball push ups

0

Flexibility

Wrist Extension Stretch

y

 

Upward dog/Child pose

n

 

Butterfly

n

 

Ballet/toe Touch

n

 

Meditating Groot

n

Life and Family

Spend time with Agents

y

 

One good thing

y

 

Plan

n

 

Be in bed by 11:30

y

 

Check seedlings

y

Fight Chaos

Pennisula/Island

y

Clean all these daily

Table

y

 

Desk

y

 

Bathroom up

n

 

Bathroom down

n

At least 5 minutes per room (at least one)

Bedroom

n

 

Computer room

n

 

Basement

n

 

Clean Half wall

y

Walking

Walk 10500 steps

3627

 

Walk 15 minutes a day

n

 

Walk to Mordor

y

 

Total points for day 5.85/15

Total points for entire challenge 104.05/135

 

Bonus Goals

1/7/2018

Eat dried apricots

n

Eat Banana

n

Eat yogurt

y

 

Total Bonus points for day 1/3   

Total bonus points for entire challenge 22/ 27

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Updated part B list since I haven't shown progess in a bit.
 

Challenge 1-4 Part B

o   Watch roof leak

o   Ice in the house??

o   Dentist apt #1

o   Dentist appointment #2

o   Mail Christmas letters that were suppose to go out before now

o   Christmas #2

o   Christmas #3

o   Christmas #4 (Because blood family is a pain that wants us all to work around them)

o   Chosen Family Christmas

o   Finish Christmas gifts for Chosen family

o   Wrap chosen family gifts

o   Set up kids gift exchange

o   Watch Youngest Friend day 1

o   Watch youngest friend day 2

o   Schedule dentist appointment #3

o   Try and set up something with family that didn’t make the party

o   Sort Birthday presents

o   Gift for wedding

o   Kids Dentist apt

o   RETURNS All the returns

o   Kids return to school

o   Update list of doom

o   Fix Drain upstairs Bath

o   Clean wall next to my desk (no idea how it got filthy)

o   Fix insurance headache

o   Get wet food for Agent Feline

o   Jan Calendar for Agents

o   Tear down Christmas decorations

o   Outside

§  Roof

§  yard

o   Inside

§  Tree

§  Stockings

§  garland

o   Semester starts

o   Set up Binders for semester

o   Fronts

o   Tabs

o   Get books for semester

o   Girls weekend

o   Youngest Dr apt

o   Wedding

o   Wedding present

o   Find homes for Christmas gifts

o   Help in Youngests Class

o   Sign up for Youngest Party Valentines

o   Sign up to help at school for school wide functions all spring

o   Set up challenge

o   Figure out challenge

o   Set up Spreadsheet

o   Set up bullet Journal

o   Change signature

o   Decide what we are growing

o   Order last of seeds

o   Set up new Calendar with birthdays

o   Determine if we have seed starting supplies

o   Start seedlings

o   Start peppers

o   Start tomatoes

o   Start hydroponics

o   Youngest Birthday party

o   Find decorations

o   Arrange cake

o   Arrange sandwhiches

o    Get the Cake and sandwhiches

o   Prep food for party

o   Finish wrapping

o   POKE RSVPS (is this becoming a lost thing?

o   Come up with scroll to use wax seal on

o   Last of presents

o   Goodie bags

§  Inventory Good bag supplies

§  Fill goodie bags

 

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1 hour ago, Severine said:

You're getting a lot done!

 

I am trying. but today I seem to have hit a wall. I am just not doing what I know needs done.  Especially with the world of activities and things returning tomorrow. I wanted to be in better shape, in some shape of order and ready for routine. It isn't happening.

however, I had this pop in my head while talking to Hubby. We both know I am tired and overwhelmed. He told me I stopped today more because my body and mind needed the break. but I told him I had to keep moving. But I couldn't run or crawl anymore. He said he would carry me which is quite the geek love comment. 

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