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PollyannaAgain

Pollyanna Starts Fresh

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I've got a bachelor's in linguistics and a master's in library science. I'm getting ready to enroll in a dog training program in another week or so. I think I want to move into dog training and a dog daycare, but I'm worried it won't work, and, as evidenced by my previous degrees, I'm having trouble sticking to things...
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Thank you all for your thoughtful responses! I really appreciate that about you guys.  I haven't decided what to do yet, but I feel less panicked thinking about it. I think I might need a blend of goals and "see where it goes and adjust"-ness. Which sounds like a non-answer typed out, but I have thoughts that I'm mulling over so we'll leave it at that for now.
 
I had a nice, relaxing weekend, except for the fact the puppies didn't want to do any school...That was unusual and I had time so I had time to think and worry about it. We did fun stuff instead, and I'm trying to chalk it up to them being unused to me training them daily. I've been sick for almost a whole two months, so we haven't been doing a lot. I'm a little worried that Iz will continue like this when I'm trying to do my KPA homework though. :concern:
 
I also discovered that I am pitifully weak right now. I hope it's just "right now" and not for real. Since I'm still having trouble breathing and coughing quite a bit, I'm going to pretend it's b/c I"m still sick for now...Does your mind feel healthy before your body does after you've been sick? Right now, my brain is all like "YES! Let's do it! Let's go!" and my body is all *cough*DYING*cough*Please stop...
 
Anywho, how was your weekend?

Library science? That’s awesome. I almost went for my masters in that so I could be dual certified to both teach middle/high school English and be a librarian, but laziness won out, and I just went for English Ed. There are still days (especially during exam weeks and grading) that look across the hallway longingly (my room is directly across from the school library, wouldn’t you know), but I know I have a good job that I enjoy and am at least decent at.

While you’re in flux, might I recommend using your library science degree to try to become a school librarian? I know it’s not for everyone, but the kids at every level tend to be a lot of fun (especially if you’re not actively having to teach them things), and they love it when you share your passions with them through conversations and clubs. Like a dog club.

Also, someone told me a few years ago when I was laid off “Your job doesn’t always have to define you. Sometimes it’s just a way to get money so you can be who you want to be outside of work.” That helped me. I had always placed so much emphasis on my job being my identity that when I lost it, I was lost. I had to remember jobs, though big, aren’t everything and redirect my emphasis back to finding what and who else I was outside of work.

Double also, don’t be too afraid of failing. Be afraid of being miserable and unsure because you didn’t bother trying.


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9 hours ago, PollyannaAgain said:

think I want to move into dog training and a dog daycare, but I'm worried it won't work, and, as evidenced by my previous degrees, I'm having trouble sticking to things...

 

 

I tend to be anxious about just about everything so I can't blame you for wondering what if it doesn't work. All I can say is that when I'm worried, what sometimes helps is imagining the worse case scenario and coming up with a plan to handle it if it happens. So maybe figuring out how you would deal with it and move on if the dog training thing didn't work (whatever definition you have for it not working) and then coming up with a plan to handle it might help you feel more ready to take the risk? 

 

9 hours ago, PollyannaAgain said:

Does your mind feel healthy before your body does after you've been sick? Right now, my brain is all like "YES! Let's do it! Let's go!" and my body is all *cough*DYING*cough*Please stop...

 

OMG so much this. You are not alone.

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20 hours ago, Hypotheticalfox said:


Library science? That’s awesome. I almost went for my masters in that so I could be dual certified to both teach middle/high school English and be a librarian, but laziness won out, and I just went for English Ed. There are still days (especially during exam weeks and grading) that look across the hallway longingly (my room is directly across from the school library, wouldn’t you know), but I know I have a good job that I enjoy and am at least decent at.

While you’re in flux, might I recommend using your library science degree to try to become a school librarian? I know it’s not for everyone, but the kids at every level tend to be a lot of fun (especially if you’re not actively having to teach them things), and they love it when you share your passions with them through conversations and clubs. Like a dog club.

Sadly, they're eliminating school library positions in my little corner of Coal Hell Country, and honestly, they don't really value someone having that credential. Or teaching credentials for that matter. They actually passed a law in my state to allow anyone with a Bachelor's to teach. Also, my dad was a teacher, and what he went through really destroys any desire to be involved with the schools around here. Though I have toyed with the idea of running for the school board so I could make people squirm and throw a wrench in their idiotic plans when I felt like it...However, I'd have to quit my job to do it b/c state employees aren't allowed to run for office...

20 hours ago, Hypotheticalfox said:

Also, someone told me a few years ago when I was laid off “Your job doesn’t always have to define you. Sometimes it’s just a way to get money so you can be who you want to be outside of work.” That helped me. I had always placed so much emphasis on my job being my identity that when I lost it, I was lost. I had to remember jobs, though big, aren’t everything and redirect my emphasis back to finding what and who else I was outside of work.

Double also, don’t be too afraid of failing. Be afraid of being miserable and unsure because you didn’t bother trying.

Thank you for both of these. I think my job being my identity is part of the problem. My work day and commute combo are so long, there really is no me outside of work. I have a whole four hours each evening before I have to go to bed and start it all over again, and that causes me a lot of anxiety. I only get to see my pups four hours a day, and their lives are so short. I feel like it's blowing by without me. 

 

11 hours ago, Severine said:

I tend to be anxious about just about everything so I can't blame you for wondering what if it doesn't work. All I can say is that when I'm worried, what sometimes helps is imagining the worse case scenario and coming up with a plan to handle it if it happens. So maybe figuring out how you would deal with it and move on if the dog training thing didn't work (whatever definition you have for it not working) and then coming up with a plan to handle it might help you feel more ready to take the risk? 

This is my brain's specialty! Coming up with all the worst possible things that could happen...I like the thought of defining things. I suppose the worst that could happen with the dog training is not making enough money to cover bills or eventually move out of my parents' house. Plus losing my years with the state (influences salary, etc.) and possibly not being able to find another position after I've left...

 

I think the best thing I could do is reduce my debt and build a client base. Perhaps work on getting multiple revenue streams set up. That was the plan when I started making collars--make and sell those to help with money when I'm low on clients (training revenue tends to decline during holiday seasons, but those are good shopping seasons so...). I've really missed the ball on my business stuff lately though. I didn't sell a single thing during the Christmas season, which was totally unexpected, and I got sick so I haven't assessed yet to see what went wrong. There's free business help through the SBA, but I'm afraid to ask because my plan is just pft, you know? And also, crafting and getting clients takes up that precious time I could be spending with my dogs, so I actually resent even the thought of it. It's kind of a rock and a hard place. I want to do something else so I have more time with my dogs, but I have to spend more time away from my dogs to get to that something else...

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This is my brain's specialty! Coming up with all the worst possible things that could happen...I like the thought of defining things. I suppose the worst that could happen with the dog training is not making enough money to cover bills or eventually move out of my parents' house. Plus losing my years with the state (influences salary, etc.) and possibly not being able to find another position after I've left...
 
I think the best thing I could do is reduce my debt and build a client base. Perhaps work on getting multiple revenue streams set up. That was the plan when I started making collars--make and sell those to help with money when I'm low on clients (training revenue tends to decline during holiday seasons, but those are good shopping seasons so...). I've really missed the ball on my business stuff lately though. I didn't sell a single thing during the Christmas season, which was totally unexpected, and I got sick so I haven't assessed yet to see what went wrong. There's free business help through the SBA, but I'm afraid to ask because my plan is just pft, you know? And also, crafting and getting clients takes up that precious time I could be spending with my dogs, so I actually resent even the thought of it. It's kind of a rock and a hard place. I want to do something else so I have more time with my dogs, but I have to spend more time away from my dogs to get to that something else...


I think you are doing great! Your worries are not irrational, and you are taking actions to mitigate if they would arise. That is business acumen!

Yesterday I was just explaining to a friend how I am 'always' happy because I get surprised positively by life over and over as my brain works on finding the worst that can happen and then work to avoid it. To me it looks you are similar, am I understanding correctly?
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2 things.

I totally understand feeling like you are missing out on time with the pups. Is there anything you can do to make sure you have extra time with them on the weekends?

Worries, however silly, are never irrational. This is your brain saying "Okay, so we have a thing, and I am not sure how it will go, so lets focus for a second." That being said, I have had some pretty dumb ones, but it happens. The big thing here is it sounds like you are already taking steps to try and  prevent the bad from happening again.  THat is half the batter. it would be worse if you said "Here is all this bad stuff" and then ignored the fixes for it.

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On 17/1/2018 at 8:55 AM, PollyannaAgain said:

I've really missed the ball on my business stuff lately though. I didn't sell a single thing during the Christmas season, which was totally unexpected, and I got sick so I haven't assessed yet to see what went wrong. There's free business help through the SBA, but I'm afraid to ask because my plan is just pft, you know? 

 

FWIW I think going after some mentoring/advice is a good idea. It might not help a tonne but it's unlikely to make anything worse, right? When I set up my small business a few years ago I got a lot of good tips/advice from online sources (blogs, forums, etc. directed to small business owners) and I found that many local business owners were happy to give advice if I asked. People generally like giving advice! Obviously asking a pizza shop owner or a lawncare services business person isn't the same as asking someone in the same business, but there is a lot common across all businesses, like things about taxes or licenses or arcane local rules (many cities and towns require local registration in addition to state registration). Also, sometimes law schools have clinics where you can get free legal business advice given by the students (supervised by professors) so if you're new a law school, possibly check into that.

 

If nothing else, it's good psychologically to brainstorm and engage with your plan. It helps make it feel real, helps build confidence and a feeling of mastery, and helps keep you moving toward your plan. 

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10 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

Yesterday I was just explaining to a friend how I am 'always' happy because I get surprised positively by life over and over as my brain works on finding the worst that can happen and then work to avoid it. To me it looks you are similar, am I understanding correctly?

 

Mine leans more toward the "Let's freak out about this" spectrum rather than being productive and dealing with it.

 

7 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

I totally understand feeling like you are missing out on time with the pups. Is there anything you can do to make sure you have extra time with them on the weekends?

I jealously guard my weekend time with them. It doesn't help my "rushing away" issue any, sadly. It also means I don't do a lot of social things outside of the house, which is problematic since I would like a human partner also...And it also means I have to be creative about when I work on my business stuff (usually during nap time).

 

5 hours ago, Severine said:

If nothing else, it's good psychologically to brainstorm and engage with your plan. It helps make it feel real, helps build confidence and a feeling of mastery, and helps keep you moving toward your plan. 

Thank you. I should spend some more time on this, and it's something I can do on my down time at work.

 

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In other news, I'm killing the meditation stuff, and even started meditating at work when I start to feel yucky! AND today, I stopped stress eating a candy bar and ate a couple of baby carrots instead! Three cheers for progress! *does happy dance*

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Mine leans more toward the "Let's freak out about this" spectrum rather than being productive and dealing with it.


Oh, I see. Still I think you are dealing well with it...

Thank you. I should spend some more time on this, and it's something I can do on my down time at work.
 
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In other news, I'm killing the meditation stuff, and even started meditating at work when I start to feel yucky! AND today, I stopped stress eating a candy bar and ate a couple of baby carrots instead! Three cheers for progress! *does happy dance*


Yeaaaah! How do you do it? Do you use an app or some tecnique you learned before?
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4 hours ago, PollyannaAgain said:

I jealously guard my weekend time with them. It doesn't help my "rushing away" issue any, sadly. It also means I don't do a lot of social things outside of the house, which is problematic since I would like a human partner also...And it also means I have to be creative about when I work on my business stuff (usually during nap time).

 

 

This is sadly a problem for the ages. I feel the same way about rushing around with Agents some days. Its one of the reasons I made a point to put a goal on there to do something fun with the Agents daily. And I score it like a challenge goal. If I don't spend time with them, it makes me sad and I miss it. Plus, it means we are doing something that it may only be an hug/cuddle time, but it means the world to them and to me.

 

4 hours ago, PollyannaAgain said:

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In other news, I'm killing the meditation stuff, and even started meditating at work when I start to feel yucky! AND today, I stopped stress eating a candy bar and ate a couple of baby carrots instead! Three cheers for progress! *does happy dance*

 

These are all great things.

giphy-downsized-large.gif

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I jealously guard my weekend time with them. It doesn't help my "rushing away" issue any, sadly. It also means I don't do a lot of social things outside of the house, which is problematic since I would like a human partner also...And it also means I have to be creative about when I work on my business stuff (usually during nap time).
 
 
This is sadly a problem for the ages. I feel the same way about rushing around with Agents some days. Its one of the reasons I made a point to put a goal on there to do something fun with the Agents daily. And I score it like a challenge goal. If I don't spend time with them, it makes me sad and I miss it. Plus, it means we are doing something that it may only be an hug/cuddle time, but it means the world to them and to me.
 
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In other news, I'm killing the meditation stuff, and even started meditating at work when I start to feel yucky! AND today, I stopped stress eating a candy bar and ate a couple of baby carrots instead! Three cheers for progress! *does happy dance*
 
These are all great things.
giphy-downsized-large.gif

Ditto with me and my little Bee. That’s why a weekly Mommy Adventure is a goal this challenge. It’s too easy to get caught up in life, and though we play and cuddle, I have to remember she needs to leave the house on Adventures too. My benefit is that I met my husband when I was 17 and married him at 21, so I never had to deal with balancing adult dating with life. We’ve talked about how adult dating (rather than just teenage dating) looks like the worst. More power to anyone that has to do it and especially more power to people who can pull it off successfully.


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These are all great things.
giphy-downsized-large.gif

Ditto with me and my little Bee. That’s why a weekly Mommy Adventure is a goal this challenge. It’s too easy to get caught up in life, and though we play and cuddle, I have to remember she needs to leave the house on Adventures too. My benefit is that I met my husband when I was 17 and married him at 21, so I never had to deal with balancing adult dating with life. We’ve talked about how adult dating (rather than just teenage dating) looks like the worst. More power to anyone that has to do it and especially more power to people who can pull it off successfully.
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You two must have been exceptionally mature to pull teenage dating off!
I didn't date as a teenager, but I think adult dating is easier because you are both more emotionally mature and take away all the movie crap. Unless you are 'desperate' (as my flatmate describe it) and you go for dating apps or switch from date to date. Yeah, that seems tough and you'll meet a lot of creeps before maybe find the right one.
I think that the worst of being a single adult is that you are often judged badly. Just yesterday I was told by a colleague that 'when I will marry my priorities will change', that I found very offensive because assumed that I want to marry and that afterwards I won't be as good as a professional as I am now. I slept on that, but I am still so angry!
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5 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

Just yesterday I was told by a colleague that 'when I will marry my priorities will change', that I found very offensive because assumed that I want to marry and that afterwards I won't be as good as a professional as I am now. I slept on that, but I am still so angry!

 

Sounds to me like your colleague is a presumptuous and tactless sort, who lacks the creativity and empathy to imagine other points of view and other sets of priorities than their own. I think we've all heard comments like that and take it as a signal to keep a distance from those people socially. Sorry you had to put up with that.

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My "life plan" has changed so many times... As an adult, it went something like: make movies (went to community college for) -> be an accountant or financial planner (switched major after re-enrolling after dropping out of college) -> write films and be an accountant or financial planner as a day job (picked up a second major as a concurrent degree) -> make video games (worked on this after I graduated until the business relationship went down in flames) -> own a cafe (food service is the only "real" job I've ever had) -> be a photographer (which I'm working on now)

 

Other than that, I do have interests and stuff I want to work on. Like snowboarding and being able to do a pull-up. And those are kind of more about enjoying life in general. But I'm also stuck with a job (and commute) where most months I barely have any time outside of work.

 

There is such a thing as bad business advice (I worked with someone who could not tell the difference or listen to my advice), so I try to look at a lot of different articles and such, and apply some common sense. But overall, yeah, it doesn't hurt. And it's less painful to learn from someone else's mistakes. Your state should (probably) have a small business website where you can figure out the taxes and licences and such (and lets you apply for those things, or at least gives you directions on how to apply).

 

19 hours ago, PollyannaAgain said:

In other news, I'm killing the meditation stuff, and even started meditating at work when I start to feel yucky! AND today, I stopped stress eating a candy bar and ate a couple of baby carrots instead! Three cheers for progress! *does happy dance*

Great job!!!

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Sounds to me like your colleague is a presumptuous and tactless sort, who lacks the creativity and empathy to imagine other points of view and other sets of priorities than their own. I think we've all heard comments like that and take it as a signal to keep a distance from those people socially. Sorry you had to put up with that.


You are completely correct in your assessment, but that's plenty of people in the industry I work for (IT), I am a similar person too. That doesn't excuse the sexism... Loving coding unfortunately means putting up with that daily... I can only say that I mentioned to my manager with no name in case worse episodes should occour. Better safe than sorry...
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On 1/18/2018 at 5:34 PM, Diadhuit said:

Yeaaaah! How do you do it? Do you use an app or some tecnique you learned before?

 

I think it's where I've been meditating and trying to be more mindful of what I'm doing. I don't have a specific technique. I was just upset working on my class and realized I was reaching for more chocolate, so I stopped and breathed and grabbed my carrots instead. I do keep my carrots on my desk though.

 

On 1/19/2018 at 10:40 AM, zeroh13 said:

There is such a thing as bad business advice (I worked with someone who could not tell the difference or listen to my advice), so I try to look at a lot of different articles and such, and apply some common sense. But overall, yeah, it doesn't hurt. And it's less painful to learn from someone else's mistakes. Your state should (probably) have a small business website where you can figure out the taxes and licences and such (and lets you apply for those things, or at least gives you directions on how to apply).

I used our small business site when I was setting things up. I'm at the point after set up where I'm wondering what I do now...which I thought I knew too, but after selling nothing at Christmas, I started questioning things...I'll start looking at more articles. I did a lot of that before I started, but haven't really looked at them since then. Thanks!

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Despite still being sick (grr, still!), I had a lovely weekend. My sister and I took the puppies to the pet store Saturday, and then yesterday, we all went on our first off-leash hike for the year. It's been a while! My poor baby was limping pretty hard last night (all the running aggravated her partial doggy ACL tear). It's very difficult to regulate her activity when they're both loose together. She'll get plenty of rest this week though because it's still too dark when I get home to hike during the week.

 

Nothing else to report, other than I'm keeping up with my goals, except for that workbook (still). I'm seriously stalling on that thing...

 

EDIT: Also, I got an email from GMB offering me a discount on one of their packages. I bought Focused Flexibility this fall, and the package has Elements, etc. in it. What would you guys do? Originally, I thought I might also get Elements (later), but I wasn't sure about Integral Strength. Any thoughts?

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On 1/30/2018 at 7:41 AM, Bean Sidhe said:

How is your challenge going?

we all have that one challenge we just stall on from time to time. Are you still stalled?

Thanks for checking on me! I'm good. Just haven't had time to check in lately.

 

I'm very pleased with my challenge this time! I did 2/3 goals great. I did start reading the Self-Compassion workbook, but never did anything with it...But the meditating and points were both spot on. A nice side benefit of the points thing has been that I've also been working hard to meet my daily step goal and filling out MFP without the usual grumbling 'cause points.

 

I'm going to brain and start my next challenge today because I'm already working on stuff and don't want to lose any momentum. See you again soon!

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22 hours ago, PollyannaAgain said:

Thanks for checking on me! I'm good. Just haven't had time to check in lately.

 

I'm very pleased with my challenge this time! I did 2/3 goals great. I did start reading the Self-Compassion workbook, but never did anything with it...But the meditating and points were both spot on. A nice side benefit of the points thing has been that I've also been working hard to meet my daily step goal and filling out MFP without the usual grumbling 'cause points.

 

I'm going to brain and start my next challenge today because I'm already working on stuff and don't want to lose any momentum. See you again soon!

 

I am glad that your challenge went so well. And well yeah, you don't want to lose points, so it does motivate you to get moving a bit more.

Glad to hear things went well. I will have to buzz over and check in on your new challenge. See you soon

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