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zeroh13

Zeroh, Chapter 1: A Fresh Start

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No word yet about the interview. >_<

 

I did a workout this morning! I downloaded darebee's pocket workout app. And I've been going through them since yesterday. But I couldn't decide which to do, so I just tapped the random workout button. It was one of the stretching ones. Once I started, I pretty quickly realized just how stiff I am. So stretching was a good pick. I was also running out of steam by the third set, so I don't think I would of survived a strength workout. (I have to eat more, but it's like I'm running into a wall when I try to force myself. And it's frustrating cause I'll have a couple of good days in a row where I manage to eat three meals, so I'm like "hey, I'm getting better!" And then I end up doing a complete 180 the next day.)

 

Group therapy was cancelled, cause of the weather. And I was late to my psychiatrist. Because my bus was late. And then the metro was late. And then the metro practically crawled for half of the trip. Like, there's these lights in the tunnel that are more or less evenly spaced. It took four seconds to get from one light to the next. And the driver hit the brakes A LOT. When the train is going the correct speed, it's about half a second between lights. And then when the train finally sped up, the driver was going faster than normal and I was so happy to get off the train.

 

The appointment itself was fine. I asked about the autism spectrum testing stuff. And she had talked to the guy who did the ADHD testing, and he said that he could put a battery of tests together for me, and he was supposed to contact me about it, but didn't. So she emailed him and said she would make sure he got in touch with me this time.

 

And then after my appointment I decided to just go home. It was cold, and pretty miserable out. And I figured tomorrow would be a better time, since it'll be a little warmer and more importantly not raining ice. And then on the metro going home, there was a homeless woman in the middle car who literally made the entire car smell horrid. I'm pretty sure she hadn't bathed in months, if not years, and I wouldn't be surprised if she had gone to the bathroom on herself a few times. (Plenty of homeless people around here don't smell bad, and the ones that do, usually it's more just a noticeable smell, but I can sit a few seats away and not be bothered by it. So it's not like it's impossible to bathe every once in a while.) The driver even made an announcement at one of the stops saying that he was giving everyone in the middle car an opportunity to switch to another car (instead of just leaving the station after letting people on). 

 

Then it started raining (again) while I was waiting for the bus. And by the time I got off the bus, there was a sheet of ice covering every inch of sidewalk. And it was dark, not like it matters when it's all ice. But I walked very carefully (and slowly), and didn't fall. I did slip on one foot a few times, but I didn't lose my balance. Somehow I'm really good at that, even though I'm pretty clumsy. o_O

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This weather tho'. Phew.  It's finally warming up here and we are thawing out...

 

Hoping you hear about that interview soon!!  Waiting can be so nerve-wracking!! (For me at least, ugh.)

 

12 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

(I have to eat more, but it's like I'm running into a wall when I try to force myself. And it's frustrating cause I'll have a couple of good days in a row where I manage to eat three meals, so I'm like "hey, I'm getting better!" And then I end up doing a complete 180 the next day.)

 

This is me lately, too.  I feel like I'm either cramming calories into my face or trying to NOT eat everything in sight.  Feast or famine, literally.  SIGH.  We can do it!!

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16 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

I did slip on one foot a few times, but I didn't lose my balance. Somehow I'm really good at that, even though I'm pretty clumsy. o_O

I'm like this too when I go running in the mud. I'll start to slip, but magically keep my balance. But I'm pretty clumsy in general, so I'm always more surprised when I don't fall. 

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Week 1 (Week 0) Summary: 70% for the week; 14% overall

 

vuZm1ZH.jpg

 

That's so much easier than typing everything out!

 

I added two columns to the end. The first one is how many I can skip and still get a reward. The second one is how many I can skip and still pass. 

 

And I need to play around with my last two goals. And/or come up with a plan.

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Sorry it's been so rough staying warm and getting around town with all the weather delays.

 

Are there any tricks you've figured out that help you get more calories in? I know you are vegetarian, but do you drink milk? Was wondering if liquid calories (of the reasonably healthy kind, depending on your definition of healthy of course) might be easier.

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Week 1 (Week 0) Summary: 70% for the week; 14% overall
 
vuZm1ZH.jpg
 
That's so much easier than typing everything out!
 
I added two columns to the end. The first one is how many I can skip and still get a reward. The second one is how many I can skip and still pass. 
 
And I need to play around with my last two goals. And/or come up with a plan.
Nice :) you have a lovely sheet ^^
And 70% is not bad at all! Good job!!

As for eating more, I'm afraid I can't really help as I'm the opposite and eat everything in sight ;)

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

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14 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

Week 1 (Week 0) Summary: 70% for the week; 14% overall

 

vuZm1ZH.jpg

 

That's so much easier than typing everything out!

 

I added two columns to the end. The first one is how many I can skip and still get a reward. The second one is how many I can skip and still pass. 

 

And I need to play around with my last two goals. And/or come up with a plan.

 

I think overall your doing okay. Yes the last 2 are harder to find time for. I would love to say "Just do this" but those are ones that are more "when can you sneak in some time to do them" depending on their length rather than "just spend 2 seconds doing.."

I love the spreadsheet. it is so much easier to past those than type it all out.

 

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17 hours ago, Xena said:

Are there any tricks you've figured out that help you get more calories in? I know you are vegetarian, but do you drink milk? Was wondering if liquid calories (of the reasonably healthy kind, depending on your definition of healthy of course) might be easier.

I get a bad reaction from drinking regular milk straight. Mostly my throat starts feeling tight. And I'm generally okay with most dairy products. But I get the same reaction from whey protein bars. So I think it's probably the whey.

 

The problem I have with trying to trick myself, is that I know I'm trying to trick myself. So then it gets into this whole "I ate more for this meal, so I need to eat less for this meal (or skip the other meal)". It also doesn't help that I usually find ways to unconsciously sabotage myself. >_< Basically, it's a complicated problem. (I have been working on body image stuff with my therapist the past few weeks, but there really hasn't been any progress yet.)

 

5 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

 

I think overall your doing okay. Yes the last 2 are harder to find time for. I would love to say "Just do this" but those are ones that are more "when can you sneak in some time to do them" depending on their length rather than "just spend 2 seconds doing.."

I love the spreadsheet. it is so much easier to past those than type it all out.

 

I've modified the last two goals. "Instagram" isn't a separate goal, that's been pushed into the to-do goal. And now I have a no snoozing goal. Which should help a lot with being productive. And decluttering has been pulled out of the to-do goal and is part of an "unfuck" goal (@scalyfreak has been working with Unfuck Your Habitat, and it looks promising, so I bought the app to give it a try).

 

Now I just need to fix my spreadsheet sheet, including breaking down the to-do list into smaller things.

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UfYH is indeed great. Only works if you apply yourself and put in the effort, but that's okay with me. That's a part of that whole accountability thing I need to level up in if I plan to ever take on Procrastination head-on again. :)

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5 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

Basically, it's a complicated problem.

 

Yep. You are a very smart person...it would be "solved" by now if it were simple. Keep experimenting and working on it!

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And the to-do list is fixed!

 

LmizXQB.jpg

 

The goal is now 5 to-do items a week, but 7 of the items are Instagram posts, so overall it's a smaller goal. And they are smaller items. So it should be more manageable now. UfYH is 3 times a week. And No Snooze is 5 times a week. And I need to update my original post...

 

 

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18 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

The goal is now 5 to-do items a week, but 7 of the items are Instagram posts, so overall it's a smaller goal. And they are smaller items. So it should be more manageable now. UfYH is 3 times a week. And No Snooze is 5 times a week. And I need to update my original post...

Somehow despite you saying these are smaller goals and more manageable my takeaway from this statement as a whole is "so much to do!" 

 

You got this, Zeroh. 

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3 hours ago, Wobbegong said:

Somehow despite you saying these are smaller goals and more manageable my takeaway from this statement as a whole is "so much to do!" 

 

You got this, Zeroh. 

Well, with To Do list, several of those tasks used to be one task. (The Instagram posts also aren't as simple as they sound.)

 

And the UfYH challenges let you pick 5, 10, or 20 minutes. So it's not a huge time commitment.

 

And if I'm not lounging around in bed all morning, I have time to actually do things!

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On 1/9/2018 at 3:02 PM, zeroh13 said:

 

I added two columns to the end. The first one is how many I can skip and still get a reward. The second one is how many I can skip and still pass. 

I love this addition, and your colors, it's so lively! I may steal these columns for my own! Thanks for sharing.

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3 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

The Instagram posts also aren't as simple as they sound

Do you have an app that lets you schedule the posts so you can at least have some stored up for when you're in a time crunch?

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1 minute ago, J3NN said:

I love this addition, and your colors, it's so lively! I may steal these columns for my own! Thanks for sharing.

I'm finding them really motivating. ^_^

 

2 minutes ago, J3NN said:

Do you have an app that lets you schedule the posts so you can at least have some stored up for when you're in a time crunch?

Finding time to post is the easy part, and only takes a minute or two. Creating the post is the hard part. I have to get the photo from my phone to the computer. I have to try and identify the plant (and/or bug), then do color correction and stuff, then crop it, then add the watermark, and then shrink the image. Then I have to upload it to my Google drive, so I can download it to my phone, and then I can finally post it.

 

 

I crossed off "count inventory" from my to do list today. (And I wrote it down this time.) I'm also getting better at staying hydrated.

 

One of the girls at work today cut her hand on a can lid and had to go get stitches. Moral of the story, if the lid is still attached by a sliver, don't yank it off with your bare hand. (Which should be common sense...) And then the manager went and did the same thing when opening a new can (except she didn't hurt herself).

 

I barely got any sleep last night cause I woke up at 3am (after waking up briefly at 2am) and couldn't fall back asleep for a long time. I'm hoping tonight goes better.

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6 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

Finding time to post is the easy part, and only takes a minute or two. Creating the post is the hard part. I have to get the photo from my phone to the computer. I have to try and identify the plant (and/or bug), then do color correction and stuff, then crop it, then add the watermark, and then shrink the image. Then I have to upload it to my Google drive, so I can download it to my phone, and then I can finally post it.

 

Sounds like a hassle. Can't you post straight from your computer?
Maybe set aside a time in the week to do a bunch of photos and then schedule them?

Just some suggestions. If they're not useful just ignore them ^^

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7 hours ago, Siferiax said:

Sounds like a hassle. Can't you post straight from your computer?

Nope. The uploading and downloading is more just tedious than anything else.

 

7 hours ago, Siferiax said:

Maybe set aside a time in the week to do a bunch of photos and then schedule them?

Doing a bunch at once just changes it from several smaller boxes of time, into one giant box of time (equal to the sum of the smaller boxes, basically it doesn't make it any quicker). I do prefer being ahead of my posting schedule. (And I was for awhile.) Setting aside a morning or afternoon to work on them isn't really feasible (higher priority things are occupying those spots right now). So right now it's more manageable to just do them one at a time. 

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I've pretty much always been described as shy by most people (including therapists and psychiatrists). Except I really don't see myself as shy. And I don't like being called shy because I'm not shy. But maybe I'm just not understanding what shy is and really am shy?

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36 minutes ago, zeroh13 said:

I've pretty much always been described as shy by most people (including therapists and psychiatrists). Except I really don't see myself as shy. And I don't like being called shy because I'm not shy. But maybe I'm just not understanding what shy is and really am shy?

From Psychology Today: "Shyness is the awkwardness or apprehension some people feel when approaching or being approached by other people. Unlike introverts, who feel energized by time alone, shy people often desperately want to connect with others, but don't know how or can't tolerate the anxiety that comes with human interaction." Now that I googled that I'm super confused because I've definitely been telling myself I'm not shy, it's just that anxiety makes me think my existence bothers other people. Were you thinking the same thing, maybe? I think people typically conflate shyness and introversion, but maybe your therapists meant it in the anxiety way?

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Shy =|= Introverted

 

Shyness is closer to a very mild form of social anxiety. The terror of saying or doing the wrong thing that paralyzes until you do nothing, and the mere thought of everyone in a room looking at you all at once, is absolutely terrifying.

 

Thinking on it for a while, I am don't know a lot of introverts who also are shy.... the introverts like being alone, so if strangers or other people don't like them, they shrug it off and go back to their beloved solitude. ;)

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But introverted people can be shy!
Or actually I just have autism to complicate things.
Labels be labels. In this case a description of an experience may be more accurate.
So I would say I'm highly social, but it costs me conscious computing power and so I'm turned off it in favor of alone time.
That is to say this here forum is excellent as I can manage my social time and allow myself consideration and thought before needing to respond.

Maybe find that sorta description for yourself and then give it the label you feel fits it??

As for the Instagram thing. Sorry things are so tedious for you in that regard :(

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

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