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Hypotheticalfox

Get Off My Lawn: Things You’ve Done that Make You Feel Old

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I have a favorite grocery store.

I get excited knowing I'm getting close to being able to pay off my auto loan.

I look at the sugar content and then the fiber content of every cereal box I browse in the grocery aisle.

"Good Lord" and "Goodness Gracious" are slowly becoming part of my vocabulary. The unsavory curse words are still there every now and then. 

 

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Chaperoned a high-school music trip to Williamsburg/Busch Gardens a couple of weekends ago. Rode one roller coaster. Spent the rest of the 10 hours with my husband - walking slowly, sitting a lot to ease my aching joints, riding the tram that goes over the park, riding the train that goes around the park, drinking coffee at an outdoor spot, watching the show in Das Festhaus, then staying there until time to leave because it was SO FREAKING COLD.

 

I realized: I am my parents. I am my parents when I remember them doing the above things while we youngsters ran around like crazy and went on every insane ride.

 

Sigh.

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First time ever feeling old: at brothers house for a party, nephew ran up and stated "uncle adam, can you move the commercial, its in my way"...I was confused, asked brother what he meant, he wanted me to fast forward through the commercial cause they'd recorded the show on their box...I immediately said "boy when I was your......." and went to get a beer crying (was in late 20s)

 

Other sundry times: walking around grocery store realizing I'm humming the store music (every damn time)

 

Find a few gray hairs in in beard. 

 

Second and thirding all the others including: self imposed bed-times, hangovers not worth the drinking, starting to give a shit about my weight...and I have a cardiologist (still 34, which I KNOW isn't OLD, but damn)

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My younger son is graduating high school in a few weeks. He will be attending a college nearby, with my older son. (Yay, good public universities and ZERO college debt!)

 

I can't wait to get off the school email lists. I keep going to events and thinking: "Yay, last high school play ... last high school concert ... only one more parent assembly" and dreaming about what I will do when they finally both leave the house (2 years for older son, cross fingers). 

Mentally designing a "knitting room" in my older son's bedroom. Now THAT is old!

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Yesterday, I couldn't find my phone. I asked someone to call it, hoping it would ring somewhere I could hear it. Turns out it was in the cargo pocket of my pants. Those involved IRL are now sworn to secrecy....

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I bought tickets for the early comedy show, not the late one.

 

I had to explain my "Glengarry, Glen Ross "Coffee is for closers" reference.

 

I had to write about tanning stickers and I did more research than I did when I write about laser therapy.

 

The list goes on.

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About 16 years ago I went on vacation with my in-laws.  I was late getting out, so I met everyone at the beach.  When I arrive there I saw a beautiful young lady in a black bikini, who turned around and said "Hi Uncle Mark!"  It was my wife's niece, who was 17 at the time.  Not only felt old, felt like a dirty old man.

 

I met a bartender (hence someone old enough to drink) once who didn't understand my Blazing Saddles reference.  The same bartender had no idea who Dom DeLouise was.

 

I was once asked if Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings, and if Julian Lennon's father was a musician too.

 

 

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18 hours ago, Mark D said:

I was once asked if Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings, and if Julian Lennon's father was a musician too.

 

 WOW!?!?   That doesn't speak to our age, it speaks to the ignorance of the kids.....  oops... nope, it's our age... :(

 

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I quoted Tolkien to an 8th grade class and got one, and only one "pity chortle."  I was then asked (same day) to put on a YouTube video of the Harlem Shake and thought, "What is this drivel? ... When did I start using the word drivel?"

 

Bonus points if you can guess the Tolkien quote.

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I had a 24yo man ask me if his plaid flannel shirt was "too grunge looking."  I said "Nah, you're not wearing Doc's.  You're fine."  I had to explain   what Doc's are.  I guess I really am 40+.    And I do have a favorite grocery store!

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The highlight of my week last week was my husband getting a non-scary list of things to do from the dentist after not going for a decade. That was really the highlight. Because I hope the word "crown" never enters my house. (Now I should probably do something about the fact that I probably haven't been since 2006.)

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On ‎6‎/‎3‎/‎2018 at 9:47 PM, ilsudur said:

I quoted Tolkien to an 8th grade class and got one, and only one "pity chortle."  I was then asked (same day) to put on a YouTube video of the Harlem Shake and thought, "What is this drivel? ... When did I start using the word drivel?"

 

Bonus points if you can guess the Tolkien quote.

this makes me so sad

my guess:

you_shall_not_pass.jpg?maxWidth=500

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throwing this at peeps to edumacate them.. and realised i havent one iota of an idea what hick's equivalent for de young uns these days is

 

 

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As a teacher, I get these moments all the time, but the best one this last school year was explaining to fourth graders what a phone book was and why it was so important to have one at the time. They stared at me like I was speaking another language. And I'm only 30!

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When I was 18 (back in 2000) my 13-year-old sister was looking through a CD catalog and asked me who Joey MacIntyre was. I just figured she didn't remember his name, so I said, "He's the youngest member of New Kids on the Block." She still had no idea what I was talking about.

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I literally told someone to get out of my yard this week. :hopelessness:

I live in a community with overnight rentals, they were playing in my front yard/creek. I (politely) advised them where the common area is (adjacent to my property) and told them I didn't want to be liable for any accidents on my property.

My sister calls me Mr. Mertle (The Sandlot)

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1. [about 15 years ago] Monday morning and I was one of several women in the Ladies' room before work started. There was general chatter and gossip around the sinks when someone said, "I guess Eileen is already having a bad day; her rabbit died."

"Eileen is pregnant?!" 

"No....her rabbit died."

"So she's pregnant."

"No, her...wait, what?"

Which led to the 30-somethings explaining the Rabbit Test to the 20-somethings.

Me: "So now you know the meaning behind that Aerosmith line, 'can't catch me 'cause the rabbit done died.'"

20-something: "What's an...ae-ro-smith?"

Me: "Don't make me hurt you."

(No, she really did know who Aerosmith was.)

 

2. [a few years ago] Doing group introductions on the first day of training for a group of new hires, and realizing that I was old enough to be the mother of the youngest in the group (he was 23) - even if I'd had kids at a normal age! I didn't even have the consolation of "old enough but only if it were a teenage mistake."

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7 hours ago, Bookish Badger said:

1. [about 15 years ago] Monday morning and I was one of several women in the Ladies' room before work started. There was general chatter and gossip around the sinks when someone said, "I guess Eileen is already having a bad day; her rabbit died."

"Eileen is pregnant?!" 

"No....her rabbit died."

"So she's pregnant."

"No, her...wait, what?"

Which led to the 30-somethings explaining the Rabbit Test to the 20-somethings.

Me: "So now you know the meaning behind that Aerosmith line, 'can't catch me 'cause the rabbit done died.'"

20-something: "What's an...ae-ro-smith?"

Me: "Don't make me hurt you."

(No, she really did know who Aerosmith was.)

I'm 37 and I don't know about the Rabbit Test

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It’s a pregnancy test. They’d inject a rabbit with a woman’s urine. If the rabbit’s ovaries changed the amount (type?) of hormone she secreted it meant the woman was pregnant. I think it was in use through the 70’s. “The rabbit died” meant pregnant. Fun fact, all the rabbits died because they killed them to examine the ovaries.

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