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Diadhuit

Diadhuit's time to regenerate

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19 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

If you find the door, start screaming so I can find it too.

*Hugs* I am sorry that someone had a stupid leak. I have too many people that I know will refuse to have kids. Some have already taken permanent steps. That being said, Some people are just dumb adn refuse to believe that everyone doesn't want what they want or what they have. Thats kinda when I do the "Okay, your dumb. You can go now."

hopefully you haven't killed them yet.

 

I promise that I'll start screaming so loudly you'll hear me across the pond. I love the dismissive tone in your reply... I haven't killed anyone yet, but called my boss apart and expressed that I won't leave opportunities out and that he should call me if he wants to offer some. I quickly said I was stating that because of what happened without naming names, so that if worse happens he will have a note. I also talked about it to a couple of close colleagues, that have been so kind and supportive!

 

21 minutes ago, Athaclena said:

I'm behind on my email and just saw this mention.

 

I have learned to listen, smile and nod or just say "I guess we'll have to wait and see" and walk away.  It really is hard. I know. I do still sometimes let this stuff get to me, but I shake it off (eventually). There is still one guy that I work with that TOTALLY presses my buttons. The best "revenge" I can tell you is to not let it get to you - and shine at what you do. Don't let everyone else take the credit, make sure when it's your work that "makes the project", they KNOW it was your work. And though it sucks, be prepared to find another job when you get locked into a position and can't move. It took me 16 years to get to a position I actually wanted and allowed me to utilize more of my skillset. That was probably 1/2 because I'm a woman and 1/2 because I'm a damn good developer and damn good developers are hard to find so I was "more important" to management churning out code than anything else it was perceived I could do. Take jobs\projects that allow you to stretch and find new skills and most important, make new contacts. Don't be afraid to fail - that's the hardest for women - I know. But it's how we learn. People laugh when I tell people that I fail, I just fail faster and learn from it. They think I'm kidding - but I totally do! Just remember to get up again - ok? Hang in there and we're here if you need us!

 

Thanks for appearing as a fairy godmother when called :D I am very lucky that I have many opportunities, and a good network. I have more than one person that will get me hired in their company as soon as I will ask, I just don't want to move yet as things are going great. I have trust and access to some nice projects.

Friday was tiring, but I'm up and in armor again!

I'm going to have to find out what I want next in my career, but I know that I will get only to some point in this company and the decision to stay will be renewed every 6months (says who just passed probation :D )

Thanks for the support!!

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Week 1 (14-19 Jan) - Celebrations, new experiences and old shit

 

Some highs and lows this week... I passed probation who-hoo! And we celebrated with lunch and drinks with colleagues, so food was not really good this week. Some bad things happened at work, but also some good unexpected things: I had a wonderful Sunday meeting many different friends and feeling energised, I went to a (boring but new type to me) meditation with a friend, I went to a bollywood dance workshop with another friend where I had fun and I also had a very bad foot in mouth moment, I saw a former colleague / friend to congratulate for her leaving the job and to meet after her (would have been future) father in law passed away. Many good and bad things, many unexpected, unplanned things and I got a bit drained toward the end, but I am better now!

I discovered I loved the comedy evening, even if I was on my own. It was funny and awkward. I want to go see other two comedians soon (one at the end of the month, one in November)

 

Laugh hard

Make a list of friends (1 laughing point, this is because when I'm down I think I have no friends, but I discovered that having a list makes me rely on more people without feeling a bother)

Meet friends at least once/w (meeting means irl, skype, email depending on where they are, max 4 laughing points)

Go to a comedy evening (1 laughing point, can cumulate with previous goal)

 

Laughing hard points:  +2 (met a friend for a drink unexpectedly, went to the comedy evening)

Total: 3

 

run fast

Walk to work everyday / walk to mordor (kiu)

Physio exercises (kiu)

Daily dare (kind of kiu)

Pilates on thursday (kiu)

Start the zombie run c25k 2/w 1/w (ideally Mon and Fri-Sat, one running point each started training, if yellow weather warning or worse I can subtitute with a darebee workout)

To help this goal I'll kiu the food regimen I have (2.4+ water, 3+ vegetables, 10- sugars)

 

Run fast points: +1 (Run today)

Total: 3

I have been a bit bad with Physio and dares, should refocus this week.  Not very good with food either, have to be on the wagon again

 

be kind

Meditation dance on Wednesday (kiu)

Examen each day (kind of kiu)

Lectio on Sunday (kiu)

Do an act of kindness each day (1 kind point each, counting at the end of the day) review act of kindness in evening examen. No points

No electronics after 10pm each day and in bed by 10.30pm each day (1 kind point each)

 

Kindness points: +5

Total: 12

I went to a different meditation this week, not my cup of tea...

 

Aww brilliant!

Now I have to redescover what I want

Write down 150 wishes (not expecting to be finished in this challenge, 1 brilliant point each, counting the ones I already have, no duplicates)

Be open to the unexpected review unexpected in evening examen. No points

 

Brilliant points: 0

Total: 21

I removed the unexpected points from last week, and can't check how many wishes until now, I'll do at the end of the challenge...

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9 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

 

I promise that I'll start screaming so loudly you'll hear me across the pond. I love the dismissive tone in your reply... I haven't killed anyone yet, but called my boss apart and expressed that I won't leave opportunities out and that he should call me if he wants to offer some. I quickly said I was stating that because of what happened without naming names, so that if worse happens he will have a note. I also talked about it to a couple of close colleagues, that have been so kind and supportive!

 

 

Okay, for the record, when any of us leave the house, we say "don't kill anyone, I can't pay for the lawyer." in my house. There is also the "If you need help hiding bodies, let me know." What can I say, we are a bit off sometimes.

 

However, I think you handled it really well and I am glad that your getting support about it. And congrats on passing the probation. That is a great step.

 

 

I will say it sounds like your doing the spontaneous thing a bit more the last week or so. How are you feeling about it?

 

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Okay, for the record, when any of us leave the house, we say "don't kill anyone, I can't pay for the lawyer." in my house. There is also the "If you need help hiding bodies, let me know." What can I say, we are a bit off sometimes.
 
However, I think you handled it really well and I am glad that your getting support about it. And congrats on passing the probation. That is a great step.
 
 
I will say it sounds like your doing the spontaneous thing a bit more the last week or so. How are you feeling about it?
 


It's funny, if I ever have a family I'll use it too (I have a dark sense of humor, I might change it to 'don't kill anyone, we don't want a hunted house', but it might be counterproductive)

It is still in the back of my mind (I woke up thinking about it) but doesn't worry me too much as it takes time to forget.

I find it interesting that dropping the spontaneity goal made me more spontaneous! Yet I had a bit of a setback yesterday when I mismatched times for a meetup I really wanted to go to and triple book myself for today... Upsi!
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9 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

It's funny, if I ever have a family I'll use it too (I have a dark sense of humor, I might change it to 'don't kill anyone, we don't want a hunted house', but it might be counterproductive)

 

Its not just us, when chosen family is up, when they do the town run, someone always says "Have fun storming the Castle." Then someone else goes "Do you think they'll make it?" adn then someone else (or multiple elses) Does "IT will take a miracle.

 

9 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

I find it interesting that dropping the spontaneity goal made me more spontaneous! Yet I had a bit of a setback yesterday when I mismatched times for a meetup I really wanted to go to and triple book myself for today... Upsi!

 

 

I know those days. Sometimes it doesn't work when you try to force it, but when you open yourself to the idea, it happens on its own. Good luck with the overbooking

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Congrats on passing probation!!!

 

As for the marriage / no kids issue.

My BF and I decided not to get married and not to get kids. And we kinda made it a sport to surprise people and have them sputtering XD

 

Like "when are you going to get kids?"

"Never"

"Oh...eh...ehm..."

 

It's a fine conversation ender. Some people will react with "you'll change your mind when you get older"

Except that doesn't quite work as I'm already 30

Sometimes they'll say your bio clock will start ringing and I'm just like. Yes it did, it was annoying, I fought it off by making all my characters pregnant and have them do the baby thing. (Seriously there was a phase of writing pregnancy and babies lol)

Also very effective comeback: "there's a kid next door reminding me every day why I don't want kids".

 

Usually what happens is when they realize I'm serious about it, they are kinda dumbfounded and at a loss of words and it's quite hilarious.

It is so much the norm they don't know how to deal with anyone not fitting into it.

 

Another comeback is, well I have two kids and they are quite a handful. Then showing pictures of my cats

 

Anyway. Sounds like you did some fun stuff! And I'm glad you could tell your boss about the stupid colleague getting into your business.

 

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

 

 

 

 

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Okay, for the record, when any of us leave the house, we say "don't kill anyone, I can't pay for the lawyer." in my house. There is also the "If you need help hiding bodies, let me know." What can I say, we are a bit off sometimes.
 


Reminds me of a time I was on the phone with my BF, and I was in a super busy store. And he casually was like don't punch anyone in the face ok?! And his co-worker was looking at him weird lol.
I don't do well with crowded places ;)

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

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Sorry all for disappearing from my own thread. I read your comments but was in avoidance of my issues. Work week went shittier from there: was struggling a huge lot with some things, my team lead went to me and my colleague (female, front end as myself, not in my team though) and said: "you guys give front end a bad reputation". She got angry, I understood it as "Female are bad at coding" and had difficulty working for the rest of the week. I know he meant it as a joke, but it was wrong moment as I was already beating me up enough with all I had to do and was not doing right. Did I mention that washing machine broke, fixer came and was shout at by the landlord because he couldn't repair it? He is now coming today hoping to prove it's our fault to break a 5/8y old machine that the technician defined "very clean, broken by normal wear and tear" to him. I am/was trying not to think about all this.

 

On 21/1/2018 at 6:20 PM, Bean Sidhe said:

Its not just us, when chosen family is up

I wish I had a chosen family... it feels so lonely sometimes... I think right now I am putting my friends hoops to jump through to prove their friendship... so shitty of me, I know...

One of my closest friends did push back meeting me for few months and we have met today, he asked if he could bring his boyfriend I replied no. I understand they have been together 6 months, but for me is nearly a stranger, I had a bad week and didn't want him in my place. Am I that bad?

Yesterday I went out with the other very close friend of mine, she was pushing me to go to this gig because she didn't want to go alone. She thanked me to go and pushed me a little to complain why was I with a sad face (see the shitty week I had above), I didn't really want to talk. Then I met a nice guy, we talked a lot but my friend wanted me to meet her group of friends whom she invited to the gig too (I didn't know about them). When the gig started, the guy was on the other side, and the group of friends of my friend ignored me while not ignoring her, so I was isolated. After a bit I nearly started to cry (to be said that the music is from the area near where my ex is from and suddenly I am missing him a lot) so I went home. I was angry at my friend for not involving me with her group of friends, at myself for being angry and sad and to have turn a potential good night out to a bad one. She had been nice and texted me, I said that I got sick and she had been so nice to me! I feel I should have stayed, but I really couldn't bring me to.

All this to say: I wish I had a chosen family, but if I treat my friends like this, I can't expect ever to have a chosen family. I was talking to my sister the other day and she said that since we have a good family of origin we never needed to have strong friendship (me and my two sisters used to hang out together for play, for going out, for everything) and now that I need it because I live far I struggle.

On 22/1/2018 at 7:37 AM, Siferiax said:

Except that doesn't quite work as I'm already 30 emoji14.png

Sometimes they'll say your bio clock will start ringing and I'm just like. Yes it did, it was annoying, I fought it off by making all my characters pregnant and have them do the baby thing. (Seriously there was a phase of writing pregnancy and babies lol)

I am 33 too, but that doesn't stop anyone in commenting on my life... my bio clock seems to have had a change of batteries in the last six months (since my first kiss) and even if I still am not really interested in sex it looks like I want the alien pregnancy thing in which I wake up one day 9months pregnant... I might have to try a bit of sims pregnancy that might work out...

The thing I noticed is that I am kind of looking for a house and I am searching for one that can be a sharing like university students or a let's have a family and children running around one... very difficult to find one that fits both needs in the city centre...

On 22/1/2018 at 7:37 AM, Siferiax said:

Another comeback is, well I have two kids and they are quite a handful. Then showing pictures of my cats emoji3.png

Ok, don't hate me... I much prefer human babies than cats or dogs. Not a very loving being here!

 

You people are funny and I really needed all this in this week...

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Week 1 (20-27 Jan) - Cry hard is the opposite, isn't it?

 

Shitty work week this one, very shitty! All went wrong, I got out all nights.

Monday: meetup with very successful IT women, but #metoo came up and while important, I couldn't bear it at the time. Laughing hard with one girl though talking about bad UI and make people believe they were hacking the garda (police) website. Unexpectedly, one of the speaker of the events came to talk to me and the founder of Silicon Republic (https://www.siliconrepublic.com/author/aodea) came to say goodbye and she said she knew my face!!! That is kind of an honour! She is such an inspiring woman!!!

Tuesday: Meeting the spiritual director (she wants to be called companion, but I disagree) and cried a lot. Two things she made me notice: 1. part of why I am crying is that 2017 has been amazing and I am sad 2018 just can't top it and she said it is quite a good position where to be in, 2. I am sad and crying, but there is also a feeling of acceptance that it is how I am feeling and that I am not bottling them up or just not rationalising them

Wednesdsay: Sacred dance meditation is back!!! We were 4 (including the teacher) but it is just so amazing!!

Thursday: meetup at work, I put people in contact so I was thanked a lot. I met the girl I laughed with on Monday, and other wonderful IT women. I loved it.

Friday: company drinks in which I laughed hard with some colleagues, I had a nice chat with one that is going to leave the company and I said to him that is not fair that he leaves, because it means that I will have the loudest laugh in the whole company now. It was fun! and other colleagues asked me out for a "girl night out" (not all of them are girls though...) and I think my heart melted a bit. My manager, with whom I had a hard time this week, was in difficulty because he is shy and had to award and speak in front of all the employees, so I had the opportunity to encourage him that is the way I feel better (yeah, I am weird). Then I went to the gig of the post above, that kick started my flirting again, and it was weird because all started by my friend mentioning me going to church and the guy is a religion teacher. Unfortunately no number were exchanged, but I had fun. Until I had not. Oh, well, shit happens.

Saturday: Landlord was ok, will send washing machine on Tue/Wed, moved the existing one so that is in the middle of the kitchen and I can't reach my food, repaid me of the money I paid the fixer. Then I met one of my best friends for a walk, that while it was kind of organises, it was also unexpected. Some things made me angry and tired, but others made me really love him.

 

Laugh hard

Make a list of friends (1 laughing point, this is because when I'm down I think I have no friends, but I discovered that having a list makes me rely on more people without feeling a bother)

Meet friends at least once/w (meeting means irl, skype, email depending on where they are, max 4 laughing points)

Go to a comedy evening (1 laughing point, can cumulate with previous goal)

 

Laughing hard points:  +1 (met the friend for the gig, met other friends, just this is a max 1)

Total: 4

 

run fast

Walk to work everyday / walk to mordor (kiu)

Physio exercises (kiu)

Daily dare (kind of kiu)

Pilates on thursday (kiu)

Start the zombie run c25k 2/w 1/w (ideally Mon and Fri-Sat, one running point each started training, if yellow weather warning or worse I can subtitute with a darebee workout)

To help this goal I'll kiu the food regimen I have (2.4+ water, 3+ vegetables, 10- sugars)

 

Run fast points: +1 (Run today)

Total: 4

Physio, dares, and food went down the drain completely. Walk was allright, but less than usual as I was drained. I think I'll start post the food log here again starting from Monday. I point finger at stress, doing too many things at once, lack of organising the food preparation, mental refusal.

 

be kind

Meditation dance on Wednesday (kiu)

Examen each day (kind of kiu)

Lectio on Sunday (kiu)

Do an act of kindness each day (1 kind point each, counting at the end of the day) review act of kindness in evening examen. No points

No electronics after 10pm each day and in bed by 10.30pm each day (1 kind point each)

 

Kindness points: +??? I will count 10 as I think I have been nearly there but I forgot to track

Total: 22

I kind of kept up the kiu, I am trying to practice this meditation in the morning (https://youtu.be/B49Ls4gl07Y) and a body scan followed by examen in the evening. Often I felt asleep before the end, but it's ok for now

 

Aww brilliant!

Now I have to redescover what I want

Write down 150 wishes (not expecting to be finished in this challenge, 1 brilliant point each, counting the ones I already have, no duplicates)

Be open to the unexpected review unexpected in evening examen. No points

 

Brilliant points: 0

Total: 21

Ok, I think I have still 0 points, but it feels that I am open to the unexpected and having some breakthrough to what I want, nothing very precise yet, but at least I am not in a storm of thoughts.

 

Overall a bad and good week?

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Food log 28/1

Freggie fist: 0
Protein palm, fat thumb: 4
Whole carbs: 0
White carbs cups, junk thumb: 15
Water: 2

So, first, today food log was an expected one. Mainly white bread, that is ok when I have crochet.

Many unexpected things today and mostly good ones. I am on a high so much I wonder if I am bipolar... should really call that counsellor...
Anyway! The plan for today was: walk to crochet, leaving 3pm, walking home, folk dance 4pm, walk to mass and back.
Instead this is how it went: bus to crochet as I was late, one of the girls might set me up with a friend of her by my request (I only have seen a pic, and named him turkey guy, that is usually not me!), about to leave at 3pm when one of the women got stuck in the toilet, so as an organiser I had to wait and it took 2 hours! I was freaking out more than her! So I needed to pee, but decided to avoid that loo... no folk dance direct to church, where I saw 'the guy who broke my heart' (remember the guy I had a crush on before my ex? Him, didn't really but the nickname sticks) had a 1min chat, then met of very great people and talked deeply a lot, was so happy evening. My plans for the week might have just exploded... anyway
Then I arrived home and received a text from the guy that says 'I had you in my thoughts as I sang tonight' and the song was one love from Bob Marley and he said he is here for me?!? Is it just me here overthinking? Ok, goodnight for now

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Food log 29/1

Freggie fist: 1
Protein palm, fat thumb: 5
Whole carbs: 3
White carbs cups, junk thumb: 5
Water: 2

Mmm.. yes, I am overthinking, yet he wrote 'I am here for you.. let me know when you need to talk& I will make time for you!
Any thoughts that can give perspective?

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2 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

Mmm.. yes, I am overthinking, yet he wrote 'I am here for you.. let me know when you need to talk& I will make time for you!
Any thoughts that can give perspective?

That kind of thing always goes over my head. Like, if someone is flirting with me, I'm always the last person to know. And that's if someone is kind enough to tell me. So I'm not much help here. >_<

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That kind of thing always goes over my head. Like, if someone is flirting with me, I'm always the last person to know. And that's if someone is kind enough to tell me. So I'm not much help here. >_
Preaching to the choir here! I only know he liked me because they told me, and my ex asked me out with me not having a clue he was interested until he texted asking me out!
Oh, btw spring is coming as he too texted me. friendly tone, but still we exchanged 5 texts in the last 5 months, so why now? ... I really don't know what to think :/
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That kind of thing always goes over my head. Like, if someone is flirting with me, I'm always the last person to know. And that's if someone is kind enough to tell me. So I'm not much help here. >_
I second this sentiment ^^;

For me and my BF it was just a straight up question after some dates (we met through online dating). Are we boyfriend/girlfriend now?
Lol.

So yeah sometimes being blunt / straight forward helps.

But yeah maybe just talk to him a little, see how well you fit? Are you interested? Then if so, you can ask if he's interested / he likes you?!

I dunno, I'm just pulling things out of my empty hat XD

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

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On 1/27/2018 at 12:04 PM, Diadhuit said:

Sorry all for disappearing from my own thread. I read your comments but was in avoidance of my issues. Work week went shittier from there: was struggling a huge lot with some things, my team lead went to me and my colleague (female, front end as myself, not in my team though) and said: "you guys give front end a bad reputation". She got angry, I understood it as "Female are bad at coding" and had difficulty working for the rest of the week. I know he meant it as a joke, but it was wrong moment as I was already beating me up enough with all I had to do and was not doing right. Did I mention that washing machine broke, fixer came and was shout at by the landlord because he couldn't repair it? He is now coming today hoping to prove it's our fault to break a 5/8y old machine that the technician defined "very clean, broken by normal wear and tear" to him. I am/was trying not to think about all this.

 

Okay, first, no sorrys. We all have life happen and its okay. And with idiots at work, that can seriously damage some calm.  Good luck here.

 

 

On 1/27/2018 at 12:04 PM, Diadhuit said:

I wish I had a chosen family... it feels so lonely sometimes... I think right now I am putting my friends hoops to jump through to prove their friendship... so shitty of me, I know...

One of my closest friends did push back meeting me for few months and we have met today, he asked if he could bring his boyfriend I replied no. I understand they have been together 6 months, but for me is nearly a stranger, I had a bad week and didn't want him in my place. Am I that bad?

 

not bad, worn down yes. And sometimes its time to take a minute and admit that the meeting wouldn't of gone as well with him there considering the day you had.

 

As far as the flirting thing.. yeah, no help here either. I never noticed until someone would hit me in the face with what was going on. In fact, I generally argued with them when they told me since I am me and who would think I was cute?

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I second this sentiment ^^;

For me and my BF it was just a straight up question after some dates (we met through online dating). Are we boyfriend/girlfriend now?
Lol.

So yeah sometimes being blunt / straight forward helps.

But yeah maybe just talk to him a little, see how well you fit? Are you interested? Then if so, you can ask if he's interested / he likes you?!

I dunno, I'm just pulling things out of my empty hat XD

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk



Thanx! With my ex had been the same (answer: nope we never were). He even had to told me twice he wanted us to kiss because I mentally added 'on the cheeks' the first time. Since it happened with 3 days between I managed to had the doubt he didn't mean that, so second time I was ready to understand! And what I really appreciated of him is that he would declare things. Regarding him I am worried he is now lonely as he texted me apologising for not replying for a month saying I should think he is the worst person of the world. I see anxiety there, but he will never admit that, and I have no idea how to offer friendship without seeming a desperate ex or emotionally hurt myself.

Back to the other one: he is very kind, offering help, promising to be there, sending 3 texts in a row... He is all I dreamt when I was 16, fits all the boxes, but he did hurt me with mixed signals in the past... I am not sure if he is interested in me as a friend, as a love interest, if he just wants me in the choir. And we went out once (I invited) and not sure if it was a date or not? He paid, we had a lovely talk, but then we went to Mass so didn't really spoke? And I thought it went well, but then nothing really went on? I did invite him again and always postponed? To me that means: not interested... I won't ask that by text, because I need to read someone face. He looks at me with shiny eyes and... I really don't know. When I talked about him to my ex I named him 'the guy who broke my heart' meaning he could have had my heart in his hands, and that without his mixed signals I would have never given a chance to my ex. To be honest I kind of went on my first date with my ex to forget about him.
And now I have two men I have some feelings for.
Sorry for the brain dump there... it makes it easier when you see it writted down.
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not bad, worn down yes. And sometimes its time to take a minute and admit that the meeting wouldn't of gone as well with him there considering the day you had.
 
As far as the flirting thing.. yeah, no help here either. I never noticed until someone would hit me in the face with what was going on. In fact, I generally argued with them when they told me since I am me and who would think I was cute?


I forgot about all that story. Thanx for reminding me. And I am happy to say that he is very understanding and while I wasn't at my best (nearly snapped at him because he asked to do something, I said yes, but didn't want to, so got angry at him :rolling-eyes: ) so well done him!

I was glad that my ex asked me out by text because I chuckled, stared at the phone tried to decide if he was taking the piss! The people around me asked if I was allright because they saw me getting pale! Upsi!
I think I was ruined by Italian guys, they are over the top in expressing their 'love'. but I depise their behaviour.

 
Okay, first, no sorrys. We all have life happen and its okay.


I love you using the same reasoning as I write to you :D
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13 hours ago, Diadhuit said:


I love you using the same reasoning as I write to you :D

 

 

What the logic is sounds.

And brain dumping is completely fine. It happens and it is not a big deal. I have done it. Sometimes its like going to your friend and explaining it to the and while your forming the ideas and words, the picture of what is going on and how you feel gets clearer. Does that make sense? So I am willing to listen whenever.

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Week 1 (28 Jan - 3ish Feb) - Diadhuit's fight for mental balance allows use of all resources

So work week is not really getting better, a male colleague sometimes comes to me and rubs my back by surprise, that really trigger my fight or flight response. The team I am in at best ignores me, or openly mocks me. My boss observes loudly that I look / am stressed and I nearly started crying in front of him twice. I have a good female colleague that sits next to me and it's a good comfort. I have been texting the "guy who broke my heart" all week nights because he is good at cheering me up. I asked him out for "a fun night with no thinking" but he declined. Oh, well, at least I have a text buddy. My ex reassures he is fine, juggling between work and studies, but I'm not sure if believing him. Asks how I am, don't really want to reply with the truth and kick in his caring instincts. But I am also tempted to.

Got lots of emotional support and given some. Bailed on some friends because I couldn't face them. Finalising the list of friends has never been so difficult.

Meditating helps so meditating it is.

 

Laugh hard

Make a list of friends (1 laughing point, this is because when I'm down I think I have no friends, but I discovered that having a list makes me rely on more people without feeling a bother)

Meet friends at least once/w (meeting means irl, skype, email depending on where they are, max 4 laughing points)

Go to a comedy evening (1 laughing point, can cumulate with previous goal)

 

Laughing hard points:  +2 (list of friends, meet friends)

Total: 6

 

run fast

Walk to work everyday / walk to mordor (kiu)

Physio exercises (kiu)

Daily dare (kind of kiu)

Pilates on thursday (kiu)

Start the zombie run c25k 2/w 1/w (ideally Mon and Fri-Sat, one running point each started training, if yellow weather warning or worse I can subtitute with a darebee workout)

To help this goal I'll kiu the food regimen I have (2.4+ water, 3+ vegetables, 10- sugars)

 

Run fast points: +1 (Run today)

Total: 5

Physio, dares, and food went down the drain completely. Walk is back.

 

be kind

Meditation dance on Wednesday (kiu)

Examen each day (kind of kiu)

Lectio on Sunday (kiu)

Do an act of kindness each day (1 kind point each, counting at the end of the day) review act of kindness in evening examen. No points

No electronics after 10pm each day and in bed by 10.30pm each day (1 kind point each)

 

Kindness points: +??? I have no clue

Total: 22??? maybe

I kind of kept up the kiu, I am trying to practice this meditation in the morning (https://youtu.be/B49Ls4gl07Y) and a body scan followed by examen in the evening. Barely made it to the examen, sometimes I skipped the body scan...

 

Aww brilliant!

Now I have to redescover what I want

Write down 150 wishes (not expecting to be finished in this challenge, 1 brilliant point each, counting the ones I already have, no duplicates)

Be open to the unexpected review unexpected in evening examen. No points

 

Brilliant points: 0

Total: 21

I really don't know what I want, I am a bit more open to unexpected, like today a pigeon shat on my chest when I was start running, and I got angry at first, and I walked back home in disgust, but then changed and went back running. I kind of want to force some things, I wish I could put up with a work bully with a smile, but that's not really possible, isn't it?

I think I want to learn a bit about tai chi, but not adding it for now.

 

This challenge I tried a bit of bullet journaling and establishing morning and evening routines.

It did help to have one off goals, those are a satisfaction. I might bring back the weekly top 3 priorities in next challenge.

It didn't help that I had too much on my plate. Also, I had few peculiar goals, but they were difficult to track.

Next challenge I want to keep pt, daily dares, running, keep laughing, keep it up with mbsr and the other meditations, I want to try a review each evening, focused on kindness and unexpected openess.

Stay tuned!!

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58 minutes ago, Diadhuit said:

So work week is not really getting better, a male colleague sometimes comes to me and rubs my back by surprise, that really trigger my fight or flight response.

You should really complain about this guy. Because that is definitely not okay behavior. (It's actually the kind of behavior that falls under sexual harassment.)

 

59 minutes ago, Diadhuit said:

Oh, and next challenge I *need* to add a "do less" task (yes, the irony of add a do less task is not lost on me)

It makes good sense to me. :)

 

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You should really complain about this guy. Because that is definitely not okay behavior. (It's actually the kind of behavior that falls under sexual harassment.)


I am aware of it, but at the moment is one of the two people with ability and will to help me when I am stuck. And he is oblivious of it. So while it makes me shiver, as a whole he is one of the best colleagues. The others plain straight obstaculate my work, so I take friendly shivering back rubs any time. Luckily I have plenty of support from people in other departments :)
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Since the forum for the next 4wc is not up and I want to run 0 week  from tomorrow here it is.

I want this challenge to be less stressing but as a rebel I always want to do too much.

 

Main goal: don't stress

 

The multiplier is a thing to help me tracking the goal during the challenge: I calculate the percentage (e.g. I ate vegetables 2 days out of 4 passed = 50%) then multiply for it to get the final result (50*1.2=60%).

60% is the passing grade

90% is the loot grade

 

Passing the challenge => all quests is 60% or more

Getting the loot => all quests is 90% or more

 

Food:

 

keep the log, aiming for min 4 veg, min 2 water, max 9 crap per day. The only exceptions the two Sundays where I have crochet. I want to have a really strict policy about it, as lately I am up and down. If I fail one of the three, all are failed.

 

multiplier 1.3

 

As I had been slacking off on food preparation, aiming to cook for the week at least once per week (starting today).

Portioning frozen veggies and nuts on the weekend is important to remember, I'll link it to preparing medicines for the work week.

 

One off: book (if possible as well do it) a cooking class

 

Exercise:

1

Keep Walking to Mordor (min 7km per day, covered by work on working days, go for walks/runs on weekends), tracked by app and spreadsheet.

Remember to do the sitting fix exercises to stretch before going out!

 

2

Exercise each day choosing from :

Darebee hero's journey - Edit: I wanted to start carbon and dust as it should have started tomorrow, but has been postponed again :(

Running (at least Saturday)

Pilates (Thursday)

Darebee Abs anywhere (in the office toilet when busy day)

 

Tracking with habits, multiplier 1.3

 

3

Physiotherapy (cat-cow, plank, warrior pose) Ideally to be done before the meditation

Tracking with habits, multiplier 1.2

 

One off: Trying a class or workshop or

 

Mindfulness:

These are already part of my routine:

- morning acclamation (Good morning, I love you, God loves you)

- weekdays morning payg while walking

- lectio on Sunday

- dance on wednesday,

- lunchtime 2 minutes (may I be well counting on fingers)

 

1

mbsr formal meditation every day

Reminder: before starting breathe out as much as possible and then relax the muscles 3 times

Tracking with habits, multiplier 1.3

 

2

evening examen while walking back from work, while going to bed if I didn't walk in the evening (e.g. weekends)

This failed multiple times, but when it worked it was amazing! So I'm chaining it to the walk back from work as a destresser too.

Potentially I would like to have 8 points so I can count with the thumb on my other fingers to keep where I am:

left 1) Ask God to be present and to guide me

left 2) Think of the best moment of the day, feel it and thank God for it

right 1) Think of people, places and things done, search for God's presence

right 2) Where was I more open to the unexpected?

right 3) Were there moments in which I turned away from God? (note: do not ruminate on this)

right 4) Was there space for kindness to myself or others today?

left 3) Make a resolution for tomorrow. Do I need something from God for this? Ask

left 4) Glory be

Tracking with habits, multiplier 1.2

 

One off: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/hwansan-sunim/how-to-meditate-at-work_b_6630652.html

 

Do less:

I am already kind of doing this:

Write down TODOs in the bullet journal

For each week find top 3 in the Saturday planning

 

bi-weekly check what to remove from bullet journal (Tue eve before leaving work and Sat planning)

no real tracking for this, just do it :)

 

following a max 5 people here, otherwise I waste all my time checking... always available if you @ me though!

 

One off: Set up a reading night in

 

Level up my life:

Even if I am not sure I want to buy a house (I want to stay here, so it is rational to, but I see it as the end of my youth, so maybe not yet?) I want to start the process. I want to have the mortgage approval in principle by the end of the challenge, and I want to have contacted some agencies.

 

 

Week 0 top 3

- Set up habits and reminders for challenge

- clean the bathroom

- wash the running jacket

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