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So I created an account and character sheet and that was meant to get my life back under control right? Well what use is a character sheet if you don't have quests to improve it on? and what use a sword unless its taken care of.

 

So here I am, offering myself up to the internet gods to try and get some accountability into my goals and take control of my life back from binge watching tv, eating crap food and generally doing everything in my ability to be the person I don't like.

 

My plan is to post here my wins, my losses, my doubts and my slip ups and hopefully I'll find the will power to keep going no matter how dark this dungeon gets. So below are my goals for the year and the posts after are me tracking my way towards them.

 

Be grateful 2/52

I take alot of things for granted without taking time to really think about it or admire it, I'm head down and deal with the next mob to come my way. This is my way of stopping to smell the roses.

 

Stand up and be counted 11/361

I want to post here every day for the rest of the year. I give up far too easily, momentum creates progress stopping creates inertia and its far harder to get started then it is to stop, so if I don't stop I don't have to get started again.

 

Improve my stats

Below I'm going to create my own character sheet (using D'N'D 3.5 as a basis) and I hope to improve my stats by the end of the year. I don't have a solid target on this as first I need to work out where I'm starting. I do know that I want to get to my body weight (80kg) in dead lift, bench press and squat. That may be an easy target or a hard target, I honestly don't know at this point.

 

Tome of Knowledge 0/30

By the end of the year I'd like to have 30 books under my belt. Fiction, Non-Fiction, books I've read 10 times and books I've never seen, and if I can manage it I'd like to share this quest with my children.

 

Go with the flow 7/156

In order to improve my will power I must exercise my mind as much as my body and thus meditation is my exercise of choice. With that in mind I am aiming for 3 times a week. I feel like if I can build this habit it will make all challenges slightly easier like getting a permanent buff.

 

Water the Lilly

Yes I'm sure this sounds suss but far from it. I know that I get so focused on the mundane things in life, money, house work, work that I don't give my partner or my kids the attention that they deserve. So this quest doesn't have a number, it doesn't have a list, it is an open ended quest to show the important people in my life how much they mean to me. Not in just the big ways, but the small ways, the occasional bunch of flowers (Lilies being the favourite flower in this instance), the impromptu game night and so on.

 

So there we have it, no grey beard giving me quests but something more fulfilling I hope. And while there are other side quests that I will need to complete throughout the year after much thought its these that I know I want to do for me, I want to complete these not to cover rent, not to keep my job, but to improve me.

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Be Grateful - Week 1

 

I am grateful for my health. Over the years I've treated my body poorly, not enough sleep, healthy food water or care. I have jumped from house roofs and over fences, I have self harmed and generally done all the things that I now try to save my kids from. And yet despite it all my body keeps going. I'm bordering on 30 I have a bad back caused by working in an office all day and driving way too much to get there and back. But I can walk without anyone helping me, I can feed myself, I can run beside my daughter as she learns to ride and throw my youngest in the air at the pool. I can sit and watch them at Ballet and sing off key to Taylor Swift as they laugh at me and dance with my partner. I am truly grateful for my health and that I can work towards keeping my body in good shape for years to come and hopefully even getting rid of the back pain. To hopefully be there when my children graduate, get married or any other key moments in their life. Be healthy enough to enjoy retirement, to travel around Australia and the world and see the sites that I've always wanted to. Many do not have that and it is something that I thank the hand I've been dealt.

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Stand up and be counted 4/1/2018 (1)

 

So my first post. At this point after posting my quest and my first Be Grateful post I feel like i'm spamming so I'll keep this short.

 

Today I was exhausted, but for once in a good way, I managed to take my dogs for a run covering almost 7kms in and hour twenty and got my first decent sleep in awhile because I actually exercised. I was able to study on the train into work and start making headway on my final subject to complete my CPA, hopefully getting ahead will make it easier once the semester really gets into gear, especially with my partner pregnant and due in July with out third child. Work was a bit of a drag, but being the start of the year with most of the team out of the office its bound to be a little isolating and slow. Still I need to get better at concentrating on the work at hand instead of getting distracted by every email that comes through, I often feel like I spend more time organising my work then actually doing it.

Home life was good tonight, didn't have any arguments with the kids and it was hugs and smiles all around.

 

I didn't do any exercise today other then the walk form the train station to the office and back again, but at least thats a 1.1k walk each way. I did a quick meditation at work to try and concentrate a little better, it worked for about half an hour and then I went back to being distracted at the drop of a hat. I finally got this thread up and running and now to keep it going.

 

Thats all for today folks. Heres to tomorrow.

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Stand Up and be counted 5/01/18 (2)

 

Day two, starting off right. I meditated prior to bed and woke up feeling refreshed.

 

Had a homemade breakfast wrap (whole meal wrap, bell peppers, spinach and cheesy scrambled eggs)

 

Managed to stick to eating nuts for most of the morning but caved and grabbed two biscuits from the lunchroom tin, on the plus side my first stop was the fruit bowl but it was empty.

 

Dinner will be store brought lasagna and spinach with oven baked chips.

 

Feeling very unmotivated at the moment, but even with a 28 degree day still going to attempt walking the dogs tonight. Exercise tonight is not going to happen, it is way too hot out there

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Stand up and be counted 7/1/2018 (3)

 

So yesterday was a complete fail. I had a terrible night sleep due to weather. Everyone in the house was cranky and irritable. I went out of my skin being locked up in the house because it was 43 degrees and my partner refused to leave the comfort of the AC and if I had of even suggested I was going out leaving her with the kids, or just as bad encouraging them to want to leave the house it would have just ended in an argument. So instead I stayed in the house eating alot of junk food (to the point of having Fish and Chips for lunch) and lost all motivation to do anything. On the plus side I still managed to eat vegetables (frozen home made curry with potatoes and carrots).

 

Today was alot better. Had fun with the kids, managed to get a few things done around the house. had home made schnitzel cooked in coconut oil and veg. Managed to get enough room back in the garage to set up at least some of the equipment in my home gym and got a work out in.

 

3*15 single arm press 7.5kg

3*15 inverted rows

3*10 shrugs 16kg

 

3*15 rows 16kg

3*15 squats 16kg

3*15 good mornings 10kgs

 

Aiming to meditate tonight prior to bed and start the week right.

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Stand up and be counted 8/1/18 (4)

 

Meditated last night and on the train this morning. Still finding it difficult to study, but that's what happens when you're doing something under duress.

 

Food

- homemade breakfast wrap

- Apple

- Homemade Pasta

- homemade chicken fried rice

 

Exercise

- walk too and from train station

- walk at lunch

- foam roller

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Stand Up and be counted 9/1/18 (5)

 

Very tired and unmotivated today, so much so it's 9 pm and I'm going to bed, but still pushed to fill this in.

 

Food

Wrap

4 biscuits

Creamy chicken and mushroom risotto with asparagus

Schnitzel and oven baked chips

Salt and vinegar chips

Burger rings

 

Exercise

Walk to and from the station

Lunch time walk

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Stand up and be counted 10/1/18 (6)

 

Another day lacking motivation, but I pushed through and managed to get a fair bit done at work and trying to get some energy happening on the commute home to get some housework and exercise done. I was able to get home and attack some housework with energy, even cooked for the family since my partner wasn't feeling well and pushed myself to do veggies instead of chips with the steak.

 

Proud of myself, I went out for lunch with some co-workers today instead of sitting in the corner of the lunchroom on my phone.

 

Food

Corn flakes with a banana

Apple

2 biscuits

Fried chicken burger

Marinated steak and veggies

 

Exercise

Walk to/from station

Meditated

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Stand Up and be counted 11/1/18 (7)

 

Feeling extremely tired today, did not have a good sleep at all, on the plus side managed to get some study in on the train and a meditation session.

 

Food

Cornflakes and banana

Chia meatballs and wholemeal pasta

Lasagna and chips

Salt and vinegar chips

 

Exercise

Meditation

Dumbbell weight session

Walk to and from the station

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Stand Up and be counted 12/1/18 (8)

 

Day 8 and doing well today! Bit stiff and sore from the workout last night and struggled a bit with sleep, but feeling good and ready to go with the day.

The weekend tends to be where things fall over for me, I fall out of the routine of meditating on the train and eating breakfast when I get to work, I also have the drain on my will power from the kids and the partner, but I'm really going to try this weekend and at least go to bed at a reasonable time, write my daily post and meditation.

 

Food

Homemade breakfast wrap

banana

apple

Homemade spag for lunch

Curry

 

Exercise

Meditation

Walk to/from work

 

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Stand up and be counted 13/1/18 (9)

 

Day 9 and its the weekend, the two hardest days of the week to keep up my good behaviour. Slept in today and skipped breakfast. Nearly missed filling this in. had a few moments of intense anger due to someone insulting my children and I did not appreciate it, however I managed to keep it in check and didn't let it control me.

 

Food

Family bbq (I didn't track everything)

KFC

 

Exercise

none

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Stand up and be counted 19/1/18 (10)

 

So fell off the band wagon. Life has been pretty crap, my partner has been in and out of hospital. I have very little motivation to keep this going, but I've started to find it difficult to stay calm and not be angry at the slightest thing so I know that I need to get going again. Its times like this I wish I had some close friends to kick my backside into action instead of just binge eating and being a grumpy painful person to be around.

 

Food

toast*2

Chicken, lettuce and cheese rolls

 

Exercise

none for days and feeling it

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Stand Up and be counted 24/1/18 (11)

 

Really starting to struggle with life again. I know it's because I've stopped meditating and trying to be grateful. It's odd how self destructive a person can be, I know I hate feeling this way and I know the things that help me feel better, and yet I allow myself to not make me a priority and so then I feel depressed. The human mind is odd at best.

 

It ended up being a pretty crap day, I'm lacking all motivation at the moment. The only bright is that I started to work on a D&D character for a play by post game that I'm joining. Any D&D fans out there?

 

Food

Breakfast wrap

4 biscuits

homemade spag bowl

Schnitzel and chips

 

Exercise

Meditation

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Be Grateful Week 2

I'm Grateful to have had such an amazing dad. He was divorced from my mother while I was still very young and I was lucky enough that the he raised me. He was always a rock that did his best to raise me. He worked his backside off making sure that I always had a warm place to sleep clothes and food while doing very little for himself. He raised me to have respect for myself and others. And while there were many times he didn't know what to do with me, periods of depression and self destructive tenancies, teenage angst and the occasional outbursts of undeserved anger directed at him he always put me first. He is an inspiration to me and a person that I aspire to be like. He has his flaws and does things that too this day I find completely irrational and while I am often a mans man and find it difficult to show him my appreciation and the love and respect I have for him, I will always hold him close to my heart and will forever be grateful for the start to life that he provided and the ongoing support that he still provides

 

and while he will never see this, here at least I will leave this simple message.

 

Thank you dad, you have given me so much and asked for so little in return, thank you will all my heart

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Stand up and be counted 28/01/2018 (12)

 

Not doing very well at the moment am I? Still I keep coming back and trying so thats a good thing I guess.

The kids got on my nerves so much yesterday to the point I yelled at the oldest, I'm not proud of it , I'll be glad when they're back at school, maybe being amongst their friends and out of the house will make things a bit better for everyone.

 

Food

Bacon and egg sandwich

Raspberry frozen drink

Fish and Chips

Homemade butter chicken curry

 

Exercise

none

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Stand Up and be counted 29/1/18 (13)

 

Two days in a row, woohoo. Back to work after a long weekend and zero sleep, it was nearly 35 degrees in the house last night, ended up pulling the portable air conditioner out to cool down the kids room and my partner and I slept with a damp towel on us to try and keep cool, it didn't work very well.

Struggling to exercise in the heat and lost my motivation to meditate, but I'm going to try and restart the good habits, I haven't completely lost momentum here yet which is nice.

 

Food

Homemade breakfast wrap

4 biscuits

Chicken sandwich (on homemade bread which was a first)

Nachos

Cherry ripe

 

Exercise

Too and from work (coming home in the rain, I made sure to do the walk via the uncovered route to try and become comfortable with being uncomfortable)

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Stand Up and be counted 30/1/18 (14)

 

Trying to get ahead of the 8 ball today. Did not sleep well at all so I was up early today. On the plus side nearly completed my first d&d character in over a decade and I'll be able to start playing again on the play by post board that I called home for a large part of my teenage years. It's a shame that it seems to be dying out as there's really only a core group of about 4 that get in now when there used to be nearly 100, it saddens me to know that it may be coming to an end. If anyone out there wants to play by post I know a great place to do it!

 

Food

Haven't eaten yet but the plan for today is at least one piece of fruit

 

Exercise

Meditation

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Stand Up and be counted 30/1/18 (14)

 

Trying to get ahead of the 8 ball today. Did not sleep well at all so I was up early today. On the plus side nearly completed my first d&d character in over a decade and I'll be able to start playing again on the play by post board that I called home for a large part of my teenage years. It's a shame that it seems to be dying out as there's really only a core group of about 4 that get in now when there used to be nearly 100, it saddens me to know that it may be coming to an end. If anyone out there wants to play by post I know a great place to do it!

 

Food

Corn flakes and banana

Sushi and coke (I know terrible but I needed the caffeine)

Black unsweetened tea

Marinated lamb chops and veggies

 

Exercise

Meditation

Meditation (yep you read that right, twice in one day)

Walk to and from work

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Stand Up and be counted 31/1/18 (15)

 

Another day waking up so tired it feels impossible to get started. I know it's spiral of lack of motivation, I don't exercise so I sleep poorly, I sleep poorly so I don't have the energy/motivation to exercise. I don't know how to break this constant cycle.

 

Food

 

Exercise

Meditation

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Stand up and be counted 19/2/18 (16)

 

Alright let's try and reboot. I added a picture today another way to try and keep motivated. Going to try and undertake my first challenge this time around. Anyone out there want to add in a cheering section for me? Hardest part of trying to keep going us feeling like I'm on my own

 

Food

6 biscuits

Homemade quesadilla (turkey and cheese with salsa)

Beef rissoles and veg

Salt and vinegar chips

 

Exercise

Walk to and from work

Weight workout in the gym

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Stand up and be counted 20/2/18 (17)

 

So today was an amazing day, my partner blew me away by going out and buying a Fetal Doppler so I could listen to bubs heartbeat, I honestly can not think of a day where I was happier, i'm totally blown away.

Truth be told I don't care about anything else right now, but I know I have to develop grit and determination so I can help this baby to be stronger that I have ever been. So here it goes.

 

Food

Corn Flakes and banana (with way too much sugar)

Sushi and Coke

Chicken Kiev with oven baked chips

 

Exercise

Walk to and from work

Meditation

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