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Asuka

Asuka takes January to plan 2018

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This is January 8th 2018, I have not yet thought about my "Good resolutions" for the year. I just came back from 2 weeks of vacations during which I did nothing but what I wanted, search for serenity and truth and introspected while trying to identify what I want from life. 

 

I know 2 things:

- Currently my life is NOT what I want my life to be

- It will NOT magically change by itself, I need to plan / think / act in order to get what I want

 

My vacations were good to identify what I want from life (hint: less work, more TIME, the one thing no one can buy), so now I need to plan HOW to get there. 

In 2018 I will likely have to or want to:

- Change jobs

- Change countries

- Find more people who share my values and my sense of humor

- Have time for ME

- Do what is good for ME

 

This is a tall order and I thus need time to see how I will get there. So I will take January to plan how to do that without sacrificing good habits. 

 

As a "side", I also want to get back on track with nutrition after 2 weeks of just "eat whatever you want, see or are offered". I have not dared weighting myself yet, but I am pretty sure I gained weight. 

 

So this first challenge of 2018 will be spent closing down unfinished business and planning for the rest of the year. These are 4 key questions and 1 norm question I should answer:

- (Norm question) What mix of nutritional restriction and exertion do I want to have in my life? 

   * What will be my weight/health goal?

   * How much do I want to restrict food, versus make smart nutritional choices?

   * How much exercise do I want to do on a regular basis and what is the place of strength training in there? Should I try PT?

- What kind of job do I want?

   * What responsibilities, level of management?

   * What type of future do I want to have beyond this  job?

   * What do I like to do at work?

- Where should I live?

   * What country/city will enable me to be happy and have time for me, while not making me uncomfortable? (also offers a job which meets the conditions above)

   * How do I manage to be close to my family, independent and safe?

   * Where can I entertain myself, meet people (see next point!) and learn in the same place?

- How do I meet new people (despite being afraid of meeting new people and having a terrible track record a meeting new people)? (Note: New people is considered as a large group, but I would also like to meet people who specifically share the same values as I do and also have some common ideas regarding humor or having fun, aka people who read but also enjoy music and imaginary worlds)

   * What activities should I try and do to meet new people ?

   * What places should I try to go to meet new people?

   * What should I do to ensure I continue meeting people once I met them for the first time?

- How do I make sure I make myself happy beyond work? (aka happy things)

   * What makes me really happy? (Hint: Binge watching reruns does not qualify, Discovering a new season of GoT may)

   * How do I set time aside to do these things?

   * In an ideal world, how do I share these things and times with people?

- How do I make sure I do the right thing for me? (aka reasonable things)

   * What are the right things? (Especially in terms of nutrition and exercise, but also in keeping or not people in my life)

   * How do I make sure to do them 80% of the time without making myself miserable? (How do I make them work with the happy things?)

   * How do I ensure I do not feel bad, feel guilty or worse ashamed if I am not doing these things?

 

I will try to think about these things and test some ideas out this month and throughout the year, to see what works and what does not, and come up with a plan.

 

 

Weekly goals:

- By Jan 14: Establish norms for nutrition and exercise. Focus on 1 key question and identify answers

- By Jan 21: Test answers for 1 key question and identify answers for a second KQ. Identify people who can help with answers (e.g., professionals such as headhunters and coaches, friends, family members)

- By Jan 28: Test answers for 2 key questions and identify answers for a third KQ. Start discussing potential answers with key people to see what they think

- By Feb 4: Test answers for 3 key questions and start finding answers for a fourth one. Start writing down what it means and how it is shaping up to be. 

After Feb 4, there will be unanswered questions. Live with it. Life cannot be planned :D

 

 

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It makes me so happy to see that you have planned your planning. It deeply satisfies the orderly, logical part of my mind. (If only that part were better about taking charge!)

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January is really a strange month. 

 

I decided not to go to dance class, as I had to miss the first week and it was a song I really do not like. I will go back from Feb 1st. I miss dancing, the feeling of moving my body, of fun rhythms I have to follow. And as I did not replace the twice 90-min workout sessions with another workout (I just enjoy the rest), I miss the workout itself. But most of all, I miss the feeling that I belong. Dance class is one of those places where I am not supposed to belong(I am much older than anyone else, teacher included, and probably too overweight to do it too well), and yet when I am there, I know I can be myself and no one else will say a thing. We all look like nerd when we dance and miss a step, and yet we all have the same non-judgmental fun. 

I don't think there is another place which makes me feel like that, except home with my family.

I did not think I would miss dancing that much, so it feels strange.

 

Another strange thing is how frustrating everything seems to be. I now notice again all the little things I did my best to accept at work, the meetings where everyone is invited but me, the emails I do not receive, how everyone has so much work, but I don't, how much my work is of no importance to my boss. These last 2 have serious silver linings in terms of going home early, which I take advantage of, but the feeling of alienation that I had forgotten resurfaced after my vacations, this time stronger than ever.

And me having to plan the future in these conditions is difficult - everything else feels like it could be so much better!

 

I stayed relatively kind with myself, I did not push hard, neither on dieting nor on exercising. I try to get my daily 30-min bike session and get at least 20 (30 most days). But the heavy burden of "Things Which I Have To Do", which should have lifted last Sunday after my exam still subsides. Getting myself to do laundry or prepare healthy meals is dreadful, although once I start it feels okay. 

 

I feel like I am not in my place and as I am trying to think about a place, everywhere feels strange. So I eat. I eat to get the feeling, at least for a second, that things will get better. Which of course, will not be the case - I will have to diet with extra weight. I need to change my life because all I want to do right now is escape from it. Reading, watching TV, being with friends, imagining a better life, are the only things I want to do. Last week I proudly worked on my last presentation, then learnt that no one was interested in it. Now I keep working on it, but it holds no interest - I don't even get feedback when I send drafts.

 

I think I am just waiting for February to come, when another job will start (my older one mind you, but still better than here), when my life will get a bit easier (no more 3-hour long commute), and I will see people who will talk to me during the day. I know February is only a few days away, but it feels like an eternity. 

 

Still, some early thoughts on the questions which I had:

- (Norm question) I can restrict food, but not much, as it is one of the only joys in my life for now. As for exercise, For now, I have to drop weekend workouts because I am too energy-less. I need all the happy activities I can get, and working out does not rank too high. 

Decision: What I should really do (but it shames be) is write down what I eat. It is a small habit which has a huge impact. And as for exercising, I should try the 10-reps x 5 exercises with my barbell. It is a 3-min habit which turns exercising into a friend little by little, so I do not get frightened again

 

- How do I meet new people: I talked with some friends, and I think I will explore the book clubs in my city. I am sure I can find one with people I can relate to. I looked a bit and found some early leads which I will have to follow up on. I am also trying to reconnect with friends, so that helps too. At one point (when the weather will be warmer, when I will have lost a few kilos) I might start going out in clubs again. They opened a new Hip Hop club next to my house. I just hope it will be here in a few months...

 

- How do I do the right things: Well I am testing the limits of what I have to do and not to do. I have not yet reached the point of not doing laundry for more than a week, but I have been foodless at home. Thankfully there are a couple of healthy options around the house for take-out. I did not do my bed 1 day (I forgot), and mostly I just watched TV and read until late at night, filling myself up with happiness until I dropped from tiredness. Then I sleep on the bus to and from work, but it is obviously not enough. 

 

- How do I make myself happy: Meeting my friends and talking with them, doing puzzles, reading books, singing, dancing, writing, online shopping,  organizing and using stickers - all of these things make me happy. I try to make time for them during the weekend, but I need to make more time during the week. This will be an action item for the future: set aside 45 minutes per day to do happy things BEFORE bedtime (not after and then sleeping 45 minutes less!).

 

Not yet a lot of progress but the strangeness of the period makes it more difficult to move faster. 

 

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45 minutes ago, Asuka said:

I think I am just waiting for February to come, when another job will start (my older one mind you, but still better than here), when my life will get a bit easier (no more 3-hour long commute), and I will see people who will talk to me during the day. I know February is only a few days away, but it feels like an eternity. 

 

Your situation at work, the level of indifference/not caring, sounds quite horrible  :huh:

 

47 minutes ago, Asuka said:

As for exercise, For now, I have to drop weekend workouts because I am too energy-less. I need all the happy activities I can get, and working out does not rank too high. 

 

But going back to dance will help :)

Maybe you could find another workout that is more skills/practice (a bit like dance) than just working out for the sweat of it. Something that inspires curiosity rather than fear. And something you can do at home. Maybe like juggling (not with fire balls quite yet obviously :lol: ) ? or ball manipulation?

 

February looks much brighter. Hang in there! 

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Sorry to hear the year is off to a rough start. The job sounds horrible, and the fact that it takes up so much of your day, between commuting and working, is probably a big part of why your energy is low. Is it worth trying to point out how you feel excluded, or would it cause more harm than good?

 

/hugs. Hope things improve soon, that's a crap situation. 

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Yesterday, I tried to push myself and went out to dinner with colleagues  - one of our colleagues was leaving and it was his farewell dinner. It took a bit of courage, but off I went and I had a good time. when I went to bed, i was feeling more recharged and my heart was lighter. 

 

This tells me that I have to push myself more and instead of caving to my (exaggerated) fears,  I should push and try out things. contrary to what I would like to believe, I do need others to recharge - it is not enough to be home doing things I enjoy. So I will challenge myself in the month of January, because I need to know if I can integrate some of these things into life starting February!

 

For this week (YES, this week), I have to go to the gym and see what type of personal training they offer. I know this gym, they have some of my favorite classes, some of my favorite people train there and it is SO CLOSE to my home ! The only thing keeping me from the gym is the fear (you know, fat girl exercising in public being made fun of), but I already have safeguards in place: 1/ I will change and shower at home (like I do in EVERY OTHER GYM DUH), 2/ I will go Saturday mornings when there are few people, 3/ I will also exercise from home outside of PT time, so I can progress without fear. All I need is 30 seconds of fearless me, just to pass the door (and also some Korean power to explain myself to the reception desk...)

 

For this week too, I should plan 1 social outing. The one from last week was great and made me feel better. Why not plan another? (Rhetorical question of course.) I have a friend in mind I am due to meet, so I will see if she is available! If not this weekend, then we can meet next week, but I should PLAN and HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE this week.

 

For next week, the last of this challenge, I should try and find an online book club which fits my needs. Here there are too few and they focus on genres which I do not enjoy reading too much. So i will first try one online, before I can join one in real life.

 

I started jotting down what I spend and what I eat, so it helps. I will continue. 

I know everything will be alright in February. The real estate agent will stop trying to rent my house to other people ("What do you mean you are not moving now?"), I will go back to dance class and I will be back to a bearable job with social interactions - yay! 

 

In the meantime, I need to find the strength not to eat my weight in chocolate cake and the energy to do the things I like rather than lying down in defeat. 

 

I think I need to watch more GoT and remind myself that Brienne is my favorite character. 

 

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On 2018. 1. 23. at 12:52 AM, Manarelle said:

Is it worth trying to point out how you feel excluded, or would it cause more harm than good?

 

/hugs. Hope things improve soon, that's a crap situation. 

I don't think they do it on purpose. It is just easier for them. And as I will be leaving soon, I do not want to disrupt their habits with change which will not continue. 

 

On 2018. 1. 22. at 7:07 PM, @mu said:

Maybe you could find another workout that is more skills/practice (a bit like dance) than just working out for the sweat of it. Something that inspires curiosity rather than fear. And something you can do at home. Maybe like juggling (not with fire balls quite yet obviously :lol: ) ? or ball manipulation?

 

February looks much brighter. Hang in there! 

I think you are right - I need to find something I can do at home which inspires me enough so that I will do it consistently. 

I thought barbell training was it, but I am too low-energy for that. I will look for some free weight / exercises I can do while watching TV.

Maybe I can do 10-15 min of exercise for every episode I watch? I would exercise sooooo much during weekends hahah!

I will definitely investigate this - thanks for the idea !!!

 

Thank you all for your support! It is incredibly helpful to see all of you reading and offering solutions and sending positive thoughts. I will do my best to improve on this crappy situation and have a better rest of the year!

Thank you :D

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17 minutes ago, Asuka said:

It took a bit of courage, but off I went and I had a good time. when I went to bed, i was feeling more recharged and my heart was lighter. 

 

That's great! And your plan for the end of the month sounds very good as well.

 

13 minutes ago, Asuka said:

Maybe I can do 10-15 min of exercise for every episode I watch? I would exercise sooooo much during weekends hahah!

I will definitely investigate this - thanks for the idea !!!

 

 

You're welcome!  but do you mean doing your exercises while watching or before?
Because for skill-based learning, you need 100% focus on what you are doing. If you are watching something  at the same time, it also means the activity is probably not that interesting on its own. Do you see what I mean? Awards are good, but for consistency, see if you can find something that is fun on its own / creates enough interest for you to stick at it when practice gets a bit difficult also.

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On 1/23/2018 at 9:28 PM, Asuka said:

Yesterday, I tried to push myself and went out to dinner with colleagues  - one of our colleagues was leaving and it was his farewell dinner. It took a bit of courage, but off I went and I had a good time. when I went to bed, i was feeling more recharged and my heart was lighter. 

 

This tells me that I have to push myself more and instead of caving to my (exaggerated) fears,  I should push and try out things. contrary to what I would like to believe, I do need others to recharge - it is not enough to be home doing things I enjoy. So I will challenge myself in the month of January, because I need to know if I can integrate some of these things into life starting February!

 

Grats on a positive experience that is pushing you to go further. It is hard to break out of your comfort zone, but it sounds like the benefits outweigh the risks. 

 

On 1/23/2018 at 9:28 PM, Asuka said:

The only thing keeping me from the gym is the fear (you know, fat girl exercising in public being made fun of),

 

This irks me in so many ways. If you need inspiration to get over your fear, this, this, this, and Steve's answer in this NF article might help. There will always be people better than and worse than you, just focus on you. The occasional times when I notice someone else in the free weights section, it's because they're doing something I don't know about and want to observe and learn. I have a lot to say on this topic, but it starts getting more angry from here. Just go, do your thing, focus on you. There will be jerks, just like in gaming and other nerdy stuff we love. Ignore them, keep doing you. You've got this. 

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So January ends much better than it started. 

 

Mostly because I arrived at the following conclusion: I SHOULD AND I CAN LIVE MY LIFE THE WAY I WANT IT.

 

It sounds so normal, and yet I feel like a new person. I will detail more of this in my next challenge, but the key is that I really want to be more accepting of me and build my own sense of happiness. Once of the things I have observed lately is how much happiness is derived from people I know from arts and crafts:

- One of my friend (who is 27!) cross-stitches (she found an app to make any picture into a cross-stitch pattern, so she cross-stitches singers' faces!!!!!!)

- @Manarelle makes her own clothes and is a badass cosplay maker. Your pictures about thermoplastics were unbelievable. I have never made something solid from my hands. It looks like pure awesomeness!!!

- One of my friend (who is 35) is just now starting to learn to play the piano and loves every minute of it, even if it is difficult

- One of my friends makes boxes in cardboard and paper (a traditional Korean art called Hanmi)

- Several of our Assassins started Bullet Journals

 

Why do I not get that kind of happiness?? Duh, because I don't try. I say it will be hard and I will have to meet new people and then stay home and read books or play games. But failing in arts and crafts is not failing, it is learning how to be better! There is NO downside to trying. And there is no "erase" or "go back" button - you live with the consequences. Scary! But it really is not, it is just life. Living life is messy and sometimes you fail or do im-perfectly and then... you live with it. Preferably happily. No need for M&Ms bag to make you forget. 

 

This is the life I want to live. Less time at work (or more precisely, a healthy amount, you know 9-7/5 days a week) and the rest of the time will be devoted to ME and what makes ME happy (and also chores because clean laundry is good ^^), because even in the perfect job, some things will not be happy (but it's okay, because other things cause happiness). Of course, first I have to find out which things bring me happiness. So I polled my friends and I will: re-start cross-stitching because it always brings me peace of mind (I stopped because it was an "old person" hobby) and I will learn how to play the piano. Learning the piano has always been one of my dreams, but I was too busy and the older I got the more I told myself it would be too hard. Turns out, several of my friends started learning in their 30s and have not been struck by lightning and are enjoying themselves immensely.

 

What is the pattern? I am the one who prevents myself from doing things, because I am afraid, because I heard it was not "right", because I might not be good enough. 

So I am changing that - because this is one of the things I CAN control. I need to find out what I want and set out to get it - and it is not always easy).

 

So my only resolution for 2018 is the following: find out what you want in life and go get it. And f... what other people are thinking, because I am only responsible for MY happiness.

(Also swear less.)

 

And this perfectly aligns with the goals I had set for January! I think I needed the month to really look into myself and find my inner strength to get out of my shell a bit more. Now I am ready to tackle 2018. 

 

Recap for last week and this week: I achieved my goals, even exceeded them!

- Schedule a meeting with a friend: I scheduled 2, met one, and met the second this week Monday (so it counts towards this week, yay!). AND This friend and I will go to a small group, low key party on Saturday where I will be able to meet new people in a relatively safe and non threatening environment. I have been working on being less of a "wallpaper flower" and developed some good social tools, so now I have to test them. AND (so many good things!) because this party is an event organized by an actual club, if this party is fun, I could join the club and meet my goal for this week! It seems that they are a group of age-appropriate English-speaking people. So if any of them has a good sense of humor, it will be a win! (additional points for the club being 5 minutes away from my home.)

- Schedule PT sessions: I visited the gym and got all of the info. Living in Korea, not many trainers speak English, so it came at a steep price. I went back home to think about it. Then I realized that this is not a cost, this is the way to improve my health and body image and went back to register. The gym was closed (it was Sunday). Do you believe in "signs"? I do. This was a sign. Not to give up on improving my health, but to find a better way. So I took a step back and thought: PT is great, but it doesn't help with the bag of M&Ms I want to eat. And as Steve often reminds us "Nutrition is 80-90% of the battle". So I leveled up and I am now on the waitlist for 1-on-1 NF coaching! I am super stoked (and more than a little worried), because There are great chances that I will be coached by Staci (#awesome #famous #rolemodel #liftingheavythings). And at the same time, I cannot think of a better inspiration to make me lift heavier and be a stronger woman (in every sense of the term).

 

AND none of these were the best thing this week. The best was the following: this is my last week in this job! Monday morning I go back to a job which will not suck the life out of me. Boy, oh boy, how much warmer and brighter the sun is and how much sweeter life is when you know you can live it! Let's 2018 really begin...

 

See you next month, with a whole new perspective, an appetite for new experiences and and a (small) piano! ^_^ 

 

PS: I declare January a successful challenge!!! 

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On 1/24/2018 at 11:59 AM, @mu said:

You're welcome!  but do you mean doing your exercises while watching or before?
Because for skill-based learning, you need 100% focus on what you are doing. If you are watching something  at the same time, it also means the activity is probably not that interesting on its own. Do you see what I mean? Awards are good, but for consistency, see if you can find something that is fun on its own / creates enough interest for you to stick at it when practice gets a bit difficult also.

You are totally right. I was not thinking clearly - just thinking about do dumb deadlifts or something. Even Yoga I do without watching the screen (I usually have music videos playing in the background).

I should try sets of complex muscle work. Like deadlift to an upper row to a shoulder press, which requires total focus in order for the barbell not to fall on my foot...

Ball manipulation sounds interesting - I will take a look at it and may add it to my list of new thing to try! 

I think one of the key is to force myself to take breaks during my binge TV watching moments. 

 

On 1/30/2018 at 12:55 AM, Manarelle said:

This irks me in so many ways. If you need inspiration to get over your fear, this, this, this, and Steve's answer in this NF article might help. There will always be people better than and worse than you, just focus on you. The occasional times when I notice someone else in the free weights section, it's because they're doing something I don't know about and want to observe and learn. I have a lot to say on this topic, but it starts getting more angry from here. Just go, do your thing, focus on you. There will be jerks, just like in gaming and other nerdy stuff we love. Ignore them, keep doing you. You've got this. 

I had never thought of googling this - I LOVED these pictures, especially the second one! 

I wish I did not feel that way, but I have always noticed other people's feelings a lot. I actually have to work to make them disappear. I will work on make them disappear, but in the meantime if I really want to focus on my lifting, doing it alone at home is infinitely preferable. In dance class though I am in the FRONT row and I don't care if I am making mistakes. It only took three years!! Hahaha. I understand the urge to get angry, and I know it is weakness on my side. So I will work not to be ashamed of myself anymore and to accept myself, but it is very much a Work in Progress.

 

Actually, being more accepting of myself is one of the reasons why I installed a giant mirror in my living room. I used to avoid reflecting surfaces until I realized that I could not live that way. and now I love to look at myself while lifting - it feels good to get stronger. 

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On 2/1/2018 at 12:27 PM, Asuka said:

You are totally right. I was not thinking clearly - just thinking about do dumb deadlifts or something. Even Yoga I do without watching the screen (I usually have music videos playing in the background).
I should try sets of complex muscle work. Like deadlift to an upper row to a shoulder press, which requires total focus in order for the barbell not to fall on my foot...

 

Exactly! I suppose it depends what you like to do / what feel you have for this or that exercise. I really like deadlifts and they take all my focus, I wouldn't be able to watch TV while doing them for the exact same reason :lol:
 

On 2/1/2018 at 7:52 AM, Asuka said:

But failing in arts and crafts is not failing, it is learning how to be better!


Sport / physical skills are the same I think (unless you are under extreme pressure in a very competitive environment where success is measured on a different scale ?).
When you find something that makes you "click", you are more likely to keep at it, and setbacks are processed differently, there are not necessarily "failures". And talking about enjoyable activities, have you gone back to your dance classes?

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On 1/31/2018 at 11:22 PM, Asuka said:

See you next month, with a whole new perspective, an appetite for new experiences and and a (small) piano! ^_^ 

 

PS: I declare January a successful challenge!!! 

 

Very nice job on January's challenge. Sounds like it was exactly what you needed, and you got a lot out of it. 

 

On 2/1/2018 at 3:57 AM, Asuka said:

I understand the urge to get angry, and I know it is weakness on my side. So I will work not to be ashamed of myself anymore and to accept myself, but it is very much a Work in Progress.

 

Hope this didn't come through as angry at you, it irks me because there are jerks out there who propagate that fear and shame and it's so hard to counter once it gets in your head. For what it's worth, I still have times when I struggle with this, so you are not alone there. 

 

Also, thanks for the shout-out for crafting. I do not think of myself as a bad-ass anything, but you're right that it's something I enjoy. The fact that nifty things come out of crafting time is a bonus, not necessarily the goal. Looking forward to hearing about your experiences with cross-stitching and piano playing. As always, you've got this. :)

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On 2/5/2018 at 12:38 AM, @mu said:

Sport / physical skills are the same I think (unless you are under extreme pressure in a very competitive environment where success is measured on a different scale ?).
When you find something that makes you "click", you are more likely to keep at it, and setbacks are processed differently, there are not necessarily "failures". And talking about enjoyable activities, have you gone back to your dance classes?

You are right - however, I was raised to be extremely competitive and I am always sad to "lift" less than the professional woman teaching on screen, or less than the recommended weights. It took me some time to recognize that I should only lift what is good for me, and if that is half the recommended weight, then I should learn to make peace with it. 

I was telling one of my friends who is a lifting fiend (I saw him lift 60lb with ONE hand, ah Costco 20lb pre-cut frozen fruit bags!), that when I doo chest presses, I can lift heavier with a barbell which has easier balance, than with free weights, so I push the barbell weights and I feel proud of myself. And he sighed, looking sad. Then he told me "you do this to develop your muscles, to challenge them. Why would you want to challenge them with a heavier weight? If it is harder with a different kind of lower weight, then do that - you are less at risk of injuring yourself!" He said that he can deadlift so much that he cannot add to the bar and that it is frustrating because it is both not very challenging and so potentially dangerous that it took all the fun out of it. This seriously made me rethink my "he who lift heavier is better" former idea. 

 

Dance class is THE BEST!!! My body feels OLD compared to that of the 18-yo around but I don't care and just move around! This morning I had to replace my cardio session with some stretching because my muscles ached so much from our class last night. Our teacher does not have a gram of fat - he is all muscle and bones and can teach for hours every day. After a 90-min class I am completely winded. (It does NOT help that he trains us in a room with the window open by -8C / 17F outside...). But I loooooooove waking up and realizing that my dance class / weight session was hard enough to keep my body aching a bit. I added 10 squats and 10 inclined push-ups post stretching because I want to increase my endurance and it felt good. I am cautious now because I am a bit overweight compared to before when I did serious dance class / lifting, so I need not to hurt myself. But pushing myself feels good. 

 

I saw pictures of some of your aerial work and I am sooooo impressed. How did you first start aerial?

 

On 2/5/2018 at 5:12 AM, Manarelle said:

Hope this didn't come through as angry at you, it irks me because there are jerks out there who propagate that fear and shame and it's so hard to counter once it gets in your head. For what it's worth, I still have times when I struggle with this, so you are not alone there. 

 

Also, thanks for the shout-out for crafting. I do not think of myself as a bad-ass anything, but you're right that it's something I enjoy. The fact that nifty things come out of crafting time is a bonus, not necessarily the goal. Looking forward to hearing about your experiences with cross-stitching and piano playing. As always, you've got this. :)

It did not come across as angry, don't worry. And I needed the push. I had not seen the NF article you pointed me towards, so it was really good to be reminded of that. 

I also tend to be too judgmental (of myself and other), and likely I am the one thinking I am the fat girl in the gym, so your second pic got stuck in my head - every time I am judging myself (or others) in a fitness situation, I have Patrick Stewart to remind me that they are actively trying to overcome their difficulties and should be encouraged. So thank you for that! 

 

Oh, you are totally bad-ass. I believe any form of self-sustenance (knowing how to cook, how to saw, how to self-soothe, how to grow fruit and vegetables, etc.) is one of the most awesome skills, because you can actually MAKE things happen and are not always dependent on external factors to provide them. Right now that I am just on the verge of being too big for the XL size of Uniqlo pants (and Uniqlo is the only brand here in Korea which remotely fits my behind), I wish I knew how to saw well enough to make my own pants. Instead I will use that as a motivation to lose weight (which is necessary, so it is a good thing), but I know I am wearing clothes which do not always fit me well, and I don't have the skills to make them fit better. Maybe in the future? A long-winded and round-about way to say that, yes, you totally are a bad-ass, and very inspiring! 

 

And I totally love to see things appear from time spent crafting. Be them stickers, drawings, music, or a giant Mjolnir hammer. How difficult is it to make Mjolnir? Do you think that a beginner such as me could make it, or is it too advanced? Thanks a bunch in advance!

 

New challenge thread: 

 

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It's great that you are back dancing!
 

1 hour ago, Asuka said:

This seriously made me rethink my "he who lift heavier is better" former idea. 

 

Lifting is relative also, at least to body weight. Lifting X kgs does not mean much as an absolute number. But I see what you mean, I also grew up in a competitive environment/mindset, it can be hard to let go of the inner ultra critical/judgmental voice . Lifting can be empowering though, without breaking a world record necessarily.

 

1 hour ago, Asuka said:

I saw pictures of some of your aerial work and I am sooooo impressed. How did you first start aerial?

 

cheers! I just started classes after watching a circus show :lol: For 5 years. And then I had a break (nearly 3 years) and I started again about 5 months ago. But there is no class here, so I have to make do with a small rig. I also started parallettes recently (~9 months ago) using the GMB programme at first, that's more of a new hobby.

 

See  you on the other challenge!

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10 hours ago, Asuka said:

And I totally love to see things appear from time spent crafting. Be them stickers, drawings, music, or a giant Mjolnir hammer. How difficult is it to make Mjolnir? Do you think that a beginner such as me could make it, or is it too advanced? Thanks a bunch in advance!

 

Well thanks for the ego boost. :) The link I posted to Mjolnir was the pattern I'm using, not my creation, sorry if that was confusing. I've gotten the pattern pieces cut out, but haven't had time to work on it further. I am also a beginner, so I will let you know how it advances, but I don't think it's "too hard" to start with. If you don't make it right, call it a prototype - the next one will be better. See you in the next challenge. 

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