Plazmotic and the Audacity of Change

[Plazmotic]

Hi, NFers. I’ve decided to come back but I’m not sure how involved I will be as of yet. I have some goals in mind but I’m trying to take it slow. The last few months of 2017 were so busy I was up to my eyeballs in stress. Things have calmed down a little, so here I am!

 

Diet: go back to an eating window of 10am to 8pm; I was pretty good with this while I was away so it shouldn’t be too difficult. Sooooo it's confirmed I'm pregnant, which explains suddenly being ravenous all the time, therefore I'm going to attempt to improve my fruit/vegetable intake for this challenge.

Exercise: walking 1x a week + OCR place 1x a week; I basically gave up on the OCR place in October after I felt really dizzy and unwell after my workouts two weeks in a row.

Life:

• Need to update my resume and start applying for a new job closer to home; I can finally do this now that I’ve found out I passed my licensing exam and am certified!

• I’ve had to very faint positive pregnancy test results in the past couple days, so I’m going on for bloodwork to confirm and to make sure I get help and monitoring because as history shows my body sucks at this.

 

So that’s where I am right now. Will probably spend most of this challenge adjusting to the idea of job searching and actually having a baby.

[Plazmotic]

Yesterday was supposed to be a workout day with my SIL but as I was driving to her house I realized I’d forgotten all my workout clothes, so we mutually agreed to cancel (she had a migraine as well). Thankfully, I had to shovel a fuckton of heavy, wet snow when I got home, so I got my sweaty workout after all.

 

Managed to eat within the window yesterday too. To be honest I was so anxious all day at work that I didn’t have much of an appetite.

 

Totes forgot about doing resume stuff last night, woops. I was just so tired after shovelling. And I went in for a blood test at the clinic this morning to confirm if I’m knocked up or not, I should hear back from them this afternoon. I don’t doubt that I am, I just worry that I’ll hear “it’s positive BUT ______”.

[Plazmotic]

Yesterday I went to my usual café to do some writing. I didn’t write my novel, instead I worked on my resume and got it updated and tidied up a bit. Also was STARVING so I ate a delicious mango chicken wrap loaded with all kinds of veggies, yum.

 

Clinic called back yesterday confirming I’m pregnant. Now I have to go in every other day for blood testing to make sure everything is proceeding well. I’m also going to be on supplements for the first trimester. Happy and super freaked out at the same time.

[Vibrantella]

Congrats and best wishes!

[Sloth the Enduring]

Congratulations!


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[Plazmotic]

Had to work late yesterday but despite my tiredness, made sure I ate some pasta with veggies for dinner. Also, two bananas! The step tracker on my phone says I walked more than usual too, which is a plus.

 

Started hormones supplements yesterday but totally slacked on job searching, gah! I keep forgetting!!

[Plazmotic]

Yesterday’s food: ramen + noodles with veggies for lunch, home made ham & egg fried rice for dinner. Also had a banana. Definitely too much carbs and not enough fruits/veggies still. But carbs are such a good flavour medium!

 

No exercise or writing yesterday, I just wanted to come home… got news from the clinic that my hormone levels are dropping, which is 99% sure sign the pregnancy is not viable. So even though I’ll likely miscarry AGAIN (wooooo I’m the 1% that’s experienced 3 recurrent MCs) I’m going to continue with improving my veggie and fruit intake.

[J3NN]

1 hour ago, Plazmotic said:

I just wanted to come home… got news from the clinic that my hormone levels are dropping, which is 99% sure sign the pregnancy is not viable. So even though I’ll likely miscarry AGAIN (wooooo I’m the 1% that’s experienced 3 recurrent MCs) I’m going to continue with improving my veggie and fruit intake.

I'm sorry about this news. My mom was like you, I was the miracle baby... it can happen! The only one, but here I am after all this time. Hugs and here's hoping for your best.

 

For fruits and veggies, in my diet I've been learning how to incorporate veggies into places I would never have thought of...  like carrots and kale with breakfast. You can sneak them in and get your freggie count up pretty easily if you do a little planning. Bananas ftw though because they are so darn convenient! And if you need dessert, they transition well to that and still count as a fruit!

[Plazmotic]

32 minutes ago, J3NN said:

My mom was like you, I was the miracle baby... it can happen!

This is good to hear! Although I do think 4 MCs will be my ultimate limit, I don’t have the patience to put myself thru more suffering than that.

 

I do miss kale, but I find it very hard to eat fresh veggies and fruit during the winter because they are usually cold by nature and I need warmth... maybe veggie loaded soup is what I need right now.

[J3NN]

Completely sympathize with your sentiments.

. 

I made this recipe on Monday when it was raining, it was so good: http://www.nourishingmeals.com/2012/01/adzuki-bean-and-sea-vegetable-soup.html I couldn't find the wakame so I just left it out. I added twice the mushrooms and the flavor was delicious! We think adding a grain like cooked rice or quinoa to it would help make it a bit more hearty...

 

Also, this is the breakfast one I've been eating: https://www.copymethat.com/r/Sd5PUdZ/turkey-kale-and-carrot-hash/ (ignore the picture, it was the closest thing I could find...)

 

[Plazmotic]

I really need to use my crockpot to make more soups!

[Plazmotic]

Three day summary: Tried my best to keep up the veggie intake, although it felt like a lot of the time the world was working against me. For example, on Saturday I had to go to the mall and had to grab lunch in the food court. I wanted warm food with veggies and saw a nice bowl of stir-fry displayed at one of the restaurants, and when I got it was 60% rice with a fewwwww carrots and green peppers thrown in for the bare minimum effort of balancing the carb mess out. But in any case, tried my best otherwise.

 

Like I said, Saturday had to go to the mall, so that was my walking effort. Sunday we took down all the Christmas decorations inside and outside, plus I vacuumed and did laundry, and chores are totally a kind of exercise!

 

Didn’t get any time to look for jobs, boo. Took another blood test on Saturday morning that confirmed for sure pregnancy is not viable, I’m supposed to go in for another blood test this Saturday to ensure my hormones are going back down to zero.

[Plazmotic]

Monday summary:

Ate pretty well, but feeling pain and cramping from the MC meant I wasn't moving that much.

 

I went to SILs house because its our exercise day but told her I wanted to take it easy instead. Besides, I'd been feeling absolutely wretched all day about my body's inability to make babies, so I knew that the cure for such feelings was to go cuddle my nephew for a bit. It totally boosted my mood, nephew was eager to show me his toys and puzzles and curled up in my lap to watch Wheel of Fortune together.

[Vibrantella]

I am so sorry you are going through this!  @J3NN is right, good things can and do happen!

Spoiler

I empathise, but I don't want to share my experience as it's not encouraging.

 

[Plazmotic]

3 hours ago, Vibrantella said:

I empathise, but I don't want to share my experience as it's not encouraging

That's okay, I like hearing people's experiences especially when it's not the "expected" outcome.

[Plazmotic]

Ooof, missed a few days there while my body did its sad, sad thing. But I’m back now.

 

Diet: ate very poorly Tuesday and Wednesday because I was home alone and barely had the energy to climb out of bed much less feed myself. But thankfully on Thursday I felt so much better, had my homemade taco pizza for lunch. For dinner I was supposed to bake a new recipe (meatball pie) but oh my god fresh pizza dough is the devil and I COULD NOT get it to work… had to throw out the dough and make meatball casserole instead.

 

Exercise: needless to say, have not been active lately. Yesterday even walking/standing made me dizzy. One day, I will have actual strength and stamina.

 

Life: Gragh, still haven’t worked on my job hunt, and it’s been a while since I did any creative writing.

 

Honestly if I totally fail this challenge, I ain’t even mad. I’ve been going through all this bullshit, a little bit of failure is expected.

[Vibrantella]

17 minutes ago, Plazmotic said:

Honestly if I totally fail this challenge, I ain’t even mad. I’ve been going through all this bullshit, a little bit of failure is expected.

Yeah, I think I reached that realisation myself too!

 

23 hours ago, Plazmotic said:

That's okay, I like hearing people's experiences especially when it's not the "expected" outcome.

FWIW, I had 2 MCs from IVFs.  We didn't continue after that.  Gave it the old college try, didn't work, life goes on.  We have a huge extended family, so some of my genes will be perpetuated for another generation or two...

[Plazmotic]

12 minutes ago, Vibrantella said:

I had 2 MCs from IVFs.  We didn't continue after that.  Gave it the old college try, didn't work, life goes on. 

This sounds eminently reasonable to me! I am suuuuper on the fence as to whether to do IVF or not.

[Plazmotic]

Weekend was alright. Friday afternoon I wasn’t feeling too well so I left work a bit early, but by the evening I felt okay. Went out to dinner with husband and kicked the “moar veggies” thing up to 8 by ordering a Lettuce Bun Burger. Basically the burger buns are replaced by two halves of a whole lettuce head LMAO. Saturday I ate alright as well, spend the evening with my in-laws so home cooked food was on the menu. Sunday I had a really fancy brunch with my family that included brie with honey, roasted lamb, fruit tart with edible gold flake, and rosé champagne.

 

Tried to be active on Friday and Saturday by going to the mall, walking compensated a bit for my lack of activity during the week. Hopefully I will be back on the wagon starting today.

 

Saw a friend reference a job posting I might be interested in, need to message him later. Job search first, creative writing later.

[Plazmotic]

Yesterday’s results –

 

Tuscan soup for lunch and a vegetable laden homemade dinner (because I went to my in-law’s place in the evening and MIL had cooked for my vegetarian SIL.

 

Went for a fast-paced 45 minute walk after dinner, it was great! I really needed it.

 

Not enough resume posting done for the day. But I did add a chapter to my current fanfic of choice. Working on it here and there, hopefully I get it out of my system and can get back to writing my novel.

[Plazmotic]

Ate pretty decently yesterday. Dinner was a turkey avocado ciabatta sandwich, yum. Been wondering if I should be drinking more water; my sister and SIL say drinking 8 glasses a day has changed their bodies (better skin, easier digestion, etc.) for the better but I don’t notice any difference when I up my water intake. Maybe I’m not doing it right/drinking enough to make a difference?

 

Yesterday I had to do a lot of walking around at work, which helped get my steps in for sure.

 

Applied for a bunch of jobs yesterday. After I was done I realized that on the cover letter I’d sent to one of the better jobs, I’d submitted the wrong letter that had [insert company] text instead of the customized version. FACEPALM FOREVER.

[Plazmotic]

Yesterday was not the best but not the worst either.

 

Did a lot of walking since I had to kill 45 minutes at the mall before an appointment. But I didn’t eat the best: canned soup for lunch and pizza pops for dinner.

 

Didn’t do any creative writing or job searching. Maybe today.

[Plazmotic]

Yesterday: okayish.

 

Food-wise I didn’t eat the best (leftover fries and chicken fingers for lunch, pierogi casserole and Mexican rice for dinner) but at least dinner was homemade? Husband liked it so much he took seconds! \o/

 

Wasn’t super active yesterday either, except for late in the evening where I watched a load of kpop choreography videos and pranced around my room like a crazy person trying to imitate them, LOL.

 

Didn’t do a lot of writing or job stuff. But I bookmarked a bunch of postings that I’ll take a look at tonight.

[Plazmotic]

Friday – Sunday update

 

Friday afternoon I abruptly had to go to my in-laws house for an emergency that ended up never happening. On the plus side, had a veggie-riffic dinner courtesy of my MIL. Didn’t do much activity otherwise, but I did do some writing on an original story (not my novel) that suddenly regained my interest.

 

Saturday ended up making slow cooker chicken tikka masala! But so much for being healthy, went to the movies after and split a bag of popcorn with my husband. Walked around a bit doing errands but wasn’t as active as I could have been. But I applied for a couple more jobs at least.

 

Sunday I managed to eat pretty healthy. Lunch was fresh bread and cheese with corn & spinach quinoa salad at the very least. Wasn’t as active as Saturday, plus didn’t do any job stuff or writing, mostly handled chores and such.

 

---

 

New thing I’ve decided to do: no juice during weekdays, only weekends. I noticed my husband only treats himself to sugary drinks (at home) on weekends, so I’m going to do the same.

[Plazmotic]

Monday update.

 

Started a new thing where I chug watered down lemon herbal tea all day long. Keeps me warm and full! Otherwise did pretty well food-wise. Lunch was my husband’s homemade creation: spinach and corn quinoa salad with a ham and cheese ciabatta. Also ate cheese and almonds as snacks. Dinner was courtesy of MIL: sautéed okra, shrimp rice, plus cucumber and beets.

 

Went for a 45+ min walk with SIL, felt great after.

 

Didn’t do any writing or job stuff. Feeling nervous again that I’m going to be fired before I get a chance to find something new.