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Eventually I will get through this gigantic quest I have in front of me....


This past spring, I was all set to lose myself in exercise after I had a whole bunch of crap thrown on me.  A year or so before that, I was all set because I didn't have kids for the summer, and I didn't have any excuses.  Needless to say, I'm still in the same position, regardless of what situation I was in!  So, now to make it happen.  For reals.


I have no idea how much I have to lose.  The batteries in my scale died.  That's both a blessing and a curse.  But I know it's a lot.  I also have more motivation now, as I've taken the steps to join The Dark Empire, a Star Wars costuming group.  I want to make a custom Sith cosplay, and damn if I don't want to look good in it!  I'm going to start taking some leatherworking classes (my kids and husband asked which profession I was dropping to take that up ;) ), and I need to actually get to the gym again.  I need to get running again.  I missed out on doing races at Disneyland, since they've canceled them all for the foreseeable future.  I really wanted to do the Tink 1/2, and the Star Wars 1/2.  My husband has said that, if I could get myself ready, we'd see about trying to get to Florida for the Star Wars Dark Side 1/2 there at some point.  My stretch goal is to run the Loch Ness Marathon in 2020, the year I turn 40.  The dance style I have a burning passion for is having their yearly conference next January about an hour away from where I live.  If I want to participate (which I so, so do), I need to get back to dancing.  So, goals!  I have them.  I just need to stick with it.  That is what I seem to lack.


So this is me, respawning again.  I still don't know what chronic illness I'm fighting.  Is it RA?  Is it Lyme?  Is it something completely different?  We don't know!  I'm a "mystery".  The one time in my life I want to be boring and routine.  But regardless, I need to find my fitness again.  To quote the overused and annoying cliche: I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I'm ready to be agile and strong again.

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To respawn is sensible to give up is to slowly die,,, Respawn and become stronger , smarter... PS dance to thefitnessmarshal.org I find it makes me laugh but I dance and warm up to it more fun than standard warm up 

:angel: of the Wilderness Level 1 Archangel Templar order of the NF blazing Light.

 STR 2 - DEX 1- STA 2 - CON 4 - WIS 3 - CHA 2 

Your current safe boundaries were once fears.. Push your boundaries till your last breath.

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How about instead of giving so much emphasis on respawning and goals, you erase those until you've planted your feet deep into the waters of a workout routine being in your bloodstream. When you have one of those days when seemingly everything goes wrong, and even things that can't go any worse, go awry - but you'll still fight through that and won't make a single excuse as to why you can't. 


You can. And, you will. 


My god woman, you've gotten through giving birth and being an awesome parent - which is the world's toughest job and you'll let something as little as working out for 30 mins to an hour daily get you down? 


I mean, [not sure how old your kids are, but this applies if they're 3+ and onwards] - you can start including thema and making working out fun.


Forget the scale, losing numbers only goes so far, your aim is feeling the best you can physically and mentally. 


Then set goals. 


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