• Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

Diadhuit

Diadhuit takes it easy

Recommended Posts




On the plus side yerterday I had a 1.5h call with my crush.


And another one the following day. But things went downhill quickly. He started talking about a girl his 'man in between his legs' was interested in (yep, that term) and I was: go for her! I was so happy that he was happy and so sad for me.
He was talking about having a child with her.

Then, yesterday he texted me that he is not interested in that woman (no, he didn't say he was interested in me) and mismatched some of my words. I corrected him and offered to meet, he texted back with some random bullshit with not even a yes/no (that means no). We kindly avoided each other in the social event we go each week (that is with lots of people, so it can happen naturally) and I texted in the evening that I am disappointed in him and that he is a better person that go sleeping around just because. In the nicest way possible, but I said what I needed to say about his behaviour.

It has been a bit of a rollercoaster with my inner critic, and I had to face it because of snowstorm.

On the positive side, on Saturday I bumped in a girl that was my friend when I arrived in Ireland and then lost track of. We live not too far from each other and work very close! So funny and strange!

Also I invited another friend for lunch and then we went dancing and to prayer together and she really made my day better. If I were stuck home I would have been drooling on him all the time, interad he just jumped to my mind few moments.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I’ve been reading about your crush exploits in @Butternut‘s thread and thought I would visit you here to get caught up for details! I’ve been in the position where I crushed hard on someone, they reciprocated my attention by being basically my best friend and cheerleader, then when I confessed feelings he slept with me but rejected the idea of being in a relationship. :P I also tried to continue being friends with him AND setting him up with my other friends (I was totally His Cool Female Friend Who Wants Him To Be Happy Even If It’s Not With Me), but eventually I had to cut him out of my life and move on.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
19 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

On the positive side, on Saturday I bumped in a girl that was my friend when I arrived in Ireland and then lost track of. We live not too far from each other and work very close! So funny and strange!

 

tenor.gif?itemid=5492932

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites



I’ve been reading about your crush exploits in [mention=49778]Butternut[/mention]‘s thread and thought I would visit you here to get caught up for details! I’ve been in the position where I crushed hard on someone, they reciprocated my attention by being basically my best friend and cheerleader, then when I confessed feelings he slept with me but rejected the idea of being in a relationship. I also tried to continue being friends with him AND setting him up with my other friends (I was totally His Cool Female Friend Who Wants Him To Be Happy Even If It’s Not With Me), but eventually I had to cut him out of my life and move on.


Haha, good to know that I'm not alone. I would be perfectly cool if I knew him happy (happened with my first crush ever, he is married with two wonderful kids and I am happy for him, we are friends even if not close ones) but talking about screwing someone just because it's convenient is just plain disappointing and I texted him that.

I fe#king needed to send that text because I care for him (I first offer to talk in person, he avoided the question). And it says a lot about his maturity that he didn't reply.
I thought for long that he saw me as out of his league and was about to 'fess up. This last few days behaviour is just not the person I know and scared the shit out of me! I miss the idea I had of him though :/ Part of me is 'when he will grow up he will be a catch' and I don't want to let go, but he is 36!

I cannot completely cut him out because we go to the same church. He is in the choir and that means that he's gonna always be in front of my eyes :(
@Butternut, yes Dublin might be a capital of a European country, but it's a small town!
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

Part of me is 'when he will grow up he will be a catch' and I don't want to let go, but he is 36!

I think a study just came out that once you hit the age of 35, your behaviours/values/beliefs are far more unlikely to change. :o

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I think a study just came out that once you hit the age of 35, your behaviours/values/beliefs are far more unlikely to change.
Yes, I believe this is true as an average. But I see many people change rapidly when something happens.
I have seen my aunt kickstarting her life at age 65 when her mom was about to die. She went from staying home doing nothing to travelling around the world, minding children for free (she is retired, so doesn't need the money). She is visibly happier. It doesn't mean that her core values changed, but she got the push to follow her new dreams.
And that's the thing I wish for my former crush, to find out and don't be afraid to follow his dreams, possibly before he reaches that age :)
And no, not with me. I want someone who is crazy enough of me that deserves me! I want to find my dream too, because in this 2018 it looks I am a bit empty hearted...
I reached 99% of my dreams in 2017 and now I could dream bigger, but can't see what I want for me! I would like a career progression, but probably not in this company and not sacrificing my personal life. I would like a house, but prices are going inevitably up and if I change company I will have to wait other 6 months to get a mortgage. I would like to find love, but not as much to compromise who I am and subscribe to dating websites. I sometimes would like a family to take care for, I have so much love to give, but I like my indipendence, my career and my millions of hobbies.
In other words I am very confused on what I want! I think I want clarity on what I want!
Good news of the day, my weight reached point and trend minimum out of 8y and 8months I am tracking it! It's amazing!
I have 6kg to go to reach my big goal! 7kg lost since I joined here last July! Nearly 1kg per month, that is good !
I have to go back on track on few things I left behind.
This challenge is still cancelled, but some habits I developed in it are still brought on, so yeah!
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

Good news of the day, my weight reached point and trend minimum out of 8y and 8months I am tracking it! It's amazing!
I have 6kg to go to reach my big goal! 7kg lost since I joined here last July! Nearly 1kg per month, that is good emoji33.png!
I have to go back on track on few things I left behind.
This challenge is still cancelled, but some habits I developed in it are still brought on, so yeah!

Amazing! This is why it's so important to see how even failures can be successes!

 

6 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

I would like to find love, but not as much to compromise who I am and subscribe to dating websites.

I'm curious, what's your concern about dating websites? Full disclosure: I met my husband on a dating website and have a few friends who met their significant others online.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I'm curious, what's your concern about dating websites? Full disclosure: I met my husband on a dating website and have a few friends who met their significant others online.
Haha, I have nothing against dating websites in principle, I know lots of people that have found love that way. And happy you did too!
I am an in-person girl... I'm not on fb or other social media, nor whatzapp, don't text, email much (to the point that my ex-date took some banter at me for being crap at text-flirting, and I was about to say: 'yeah, that was the aim, I was bored by the idea', he also suggested me to stay away from dating sites, and while it now might seem a jealousy thing, I know he was just observing something true).
This is the only forum I am in! I have too much having fun, going to events to watch tv or texting...
So yeah, not exactly the dating site type :)
And denying that and subscribe would mean I am in a bad place mentally or emotionally. I have been there (about to subscribe) and it's not pretty. No relationship coming out of that would be good because it would start with me self-hating myself...
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

I'm not on fb or other social media, nor whatzapp, don't text, email much

Ah, that clarification makes a lot of sense! If you don't have an affinity for the online world, it can be disconcerting. Thankfully for me, tech-savviness runs in my family... my parents are more active on Twitter and Facebook than I am!

 

14 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

This is the only forum I am in!

And we're happy to have you here! :D

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites



Thankfully for me, tech-savviness runs in my family...


I I am a web developer, my life relies around the existance of internet :D
But yes, probably it's also true!
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Finally I get to the retrospective of this challenge!

 

Main goal: don't stress

Yeah, that didn't happen. Mid-challenge everything went tits up. Mainly my (not anymore) crush broke my heart again and I hated myself for allowing him to. It's an emotionally unavailable person, but it doesn't seem so. It took me a bit to get back on my feet, and now I am. I needed to eat sugars and tons of cheese and keep very busy to deal with it and I did that too. Oh, well, now I'm better and can deal with having to see him each week again.

What worked well? I took a Saturday off everything and went to a "Be still and know I'm God" retreat. Loved it.  I started using the 36 questions that lead to love with myself, and it looks an interesting way to love myself.

Also, 8 March made me stressed about being a woman: work has very few women in managerial roles and my next career move I would be the first. That makes me nearly not wanting it. I have to think about it... In the church we had a discussion about female priests and one of my closest friends said "it would be strange". I took it quite badly. Is there an organisation that welcomes powerful women?!? I still don't know.

What worked well? I had good chats about it, and I think I'm better now. The lead of "Be still and know I'm God" is a very interesting woman, who gave me some perspective. But the next person that tells me that women are sweet and caring will get me shouting at their face.

What will I do differently? I would like to find a way to avoid drowning my feeling in food or todos. If I could find a way to exercise to avoid feeling bad...

 

Food:

This didn't happen either. No food log, no food preparation, no one off cooking class (but I have found an interesting place where to do one).

What worked well? I started acknowledging why was I eating, or at least if I was eating for hunger or not.

What will I do differently?  @zeroh13 made me interested in intuitive eating and I want to explore that. Also I want to schedule food preparation and shopping a bit better.

 

 

Exercise:

I did the one off new class or workshop (dancing on Sundays)

1 Walking to Mordor

What worked well? I did most of it, even if I had to slow down due to snowstorm and laziness.

What will I do differently? I need to stretch before going out!

 

2 Exercise each day

What worked well? I exercised on Thursday and Saturday when possible (snowstorm!). I started dancing on Sunday that was not on the list.

What will I do differently? I won't overcommit. I will consider the Wednesday meditative dance exercise too. I will try shorter exercises to fit in the office toilet

 

3 Physiotherapy

This didn't happen mainly because I would be too tired. I tried in the morning and doesn't work either. What is preventing me to have a 5 min exercise each day?!? I need to do it at home because of the mat....

What will I do differently? I don't know... I have the space ready, it's just takes to do it!

 

Mindfulness:

These are already part of my routine:

- morning acclamation (Good morning, I love you, God loves you) - this is not happening as much

- weekdays morning payg while walking - yup

- lectio on Sunday - yup

- dance on wednesday - yup

- lunchtime 2 minutes (may I be well counting on fingers) - I completely stopped this!

The one off https://www.huffingtonpost.com/hwansan-sunim/how-to-meditate-at-work_b_6630652.html didn't happen

 

1 mbsr formal meditation

What worked well?  I reached the soothe and allow meditation a lot when I wanted to give up everything and was very hurt. It worked better when I took the time to organise which meditation which night, and saw the videos with attention.

What will I do differently? I need not to fall asleep when I do the body scan. It's time to go further with the lessons.

 

2 evening examen

What worked well?  When I do it it's really great! The phone reminder is very useful.

What will I do differently? I want to be more constant on it and remember the meaning of the fingers

 

Potentially I would like to have 8 points so I can count with the thumb on my other fingers to keep where I am:

left 1) Ask God to be present and to guide me

left 2) Think of the best moment of the day, feel it and thank God for it

right 1) Think of people, places and things done, search for God's presence

right 2) Where was I more open to the unexpected?

right 3) Were there moments in which I turned away from God? (note: do not ruminate on this)

right 4) Was there space for kindness to myself or others today?

left 3) Make a resolution for tomorrow. Do I need something from God for this? Ask

left 4) Glory be

 

 

Do less:

I am already kind of doing this:

Write down TODOs in the bullet journal - kind of

For each week find top 3 in the Saturday planning - kind of

 

bi-weekly check what to remove from bullet journal (Tue eve before leaving work and Sat planning)

What worked well?  I did it often

What will I do differently? I never took anything off, but just reviewed things. I need to start tracking all the things and remove some!

 

following a max 5 people here, otherwise I waste all my time checking... always available if you @ me though!

What worked well?  This eased my mind

What will I do differently? If I feel lonely in my thread I can go and follow more people

 

One off: Set up a reading night in

This didn't happen, but I read a little :)

 

Level up my life:

Even if I am not sure I want to buy a house (I want to stay here, so it is rational to, but I see it as the end of my youth, so maybe not yet?) I want to start the process. I want to have the mortgage approval in principle by the end of the challenge, and I want to have contacted some agencies.

 

I did all the tasks needed for the mortgage approval in principle, but it's not in yet. This prevented me to have contacted agencies....

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2/5/2018 at 5:38 PM, Diadhuit said:

Glory be

Diadhuit, I don't know how I stumbled on this post of yours from Feb. 5 (!), but I wanted to thank you for naming your faith aloud on Nerd Fitness, not what you believe so much as that you believe. I've not seen that before on NF, or certainly not much, and it was affirming for me. Thank you. And blessings upon you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites



Diadhuit, I don't know how I stumbled on this post of yours from Feb. 5 (!), but I wanted to thank you for naming your faith aloud on Nerd Fitness, not what you believe so much as that you believe. I've not seen that before on NF, or certainly not much, and it was affirming for me. Thank you. And blessings upon you!


@Mahlak, God works in misterious ways :)
It's rare on the Internet, but I have seen NF people naming their religion openly and be very accepted for it. I think I got the idea from you? @zeroh and @Bean_Sidhe are others that come to my mind for having been very supportive, curious and open about what we all do or do not believe.
Thank you all for creating this supportive and lovely space then!
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now