ICB Posted February 6, 2018 Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 Hi again, my lovely monks. It's been a weird few months. Back in November, my wife and I went to Hawaii for an old friend's wedding and our own wedding anniversary. While we were there, my company decided to lay off me and 950 of my closest friends. It was one hell of a wacky prank, those mischievous scamps! For those keeping track, this is my scorecard for SUDDEN UNPLANNED JOB LOSS BINGO: ✔️ 2014 ✔️ 2015 FREE ✔️ 2016 ✔️ 2017 ANYWAY. The good news: I'm an expert at getting laid off now My freelance client-base is broad enough that I can just barely freelance full-time, so money isn't a huge problem yet My wife has been beyond amazing and incredibly supportive about this and my uncertainty about my future job plans The bad news: I haven't had a good workout since November 20, and I feel physically awful I haven't meditated since Hawaii, and I feel mentally awful I'm still looking for a new job, and I feel fucking awful And that's when my sponsor, @sarakingdom, called me up and yelled at me encouraged me to attend some meetings while I take it one day at a time. Thanks, Sara. For this month, I'm going to Keep applying for jobs Restart workouts and meditation Grow my freelance client-base significantly I'll go into more details later, including theme. I did Vimes last year, and I think I have Bitter, Cynical, and Tenacious locked down tight. I think this year is going to be a bit more....ceramic. No Gods. No Masters. 1 Quote Link to comment
ICB Posted February 6, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 OK, let's dive in: Keep applying for jobs Goal: 40 points Apply for a job: 1 point Get a job: 1 MILLION POINTS This one is kind of a gimme because I'm drawing unemployment benefits, and as part of those benefits I'm legally obligated to apply to 5 jobs per week. I'm going to double that. I have been getting unemployment, and it's been a really great supplement to my freelance income. When I get paid for an invoice, I report it and I don't get any unemployment that week, but when I don't get any invoice payments coming in....money comes in anyway and my bank account doesn't implode. It's been a huge source of comfort. The trouble is that I only have 6 months of benefits, and I've already used 3 of those months. I think finding a job is pretty likely, but if it's not....I'm going to need to up the number and quality of my freelance clients (that's goal #3). Either way, I'm in the off-ramp part of this unemployment, and I need to make some plans. Restart my workouts and meditation Goal: 60 points Workout: 1 point Meditate: 1 point Physical Therapy: 1 point I basically haven't meditated since I was in Hawaii. Even though I'm doing mostly OK, sitting quietly and being alone with my thoughts is not something I've wanted to do at all for the last few months. Any time I've tried, I've ended up more stressed out and anxious. My therapist suggested starting with a minute or two per day, just to ease back in to the waters. I know it's beneficial, and I've missed it, so that's what I'm going to do. When I lost my job, I started working out. Hard. I was hitting the gym most days, and I started every day with a few heavy bag circuits. And then one day I punched too hard and I sprained the crap out of my wrist in early December. I'm starting physical therapy for it tomorrow morning, in fact, so this is a good time to commit to going to the gym, running (even if it's on a treadmill, ugh), and doing all my PT homework so my wrists can get big and strong. Grow my freelance client-base significantly Goal: 80 points Send out query messages to new clients: 0.5 points Sign on for new work with a new client: 15 points I've been a freelance journalist since college, and I love it. Unfortunately, journalism doesn't pay for beans. (Literally, I can't afford beans.) But last year, I got a message from an ad agency where I used to work, and they offered me some freelance work. Advertising projects take a tenth as much time and effort as my journalism work, and they pay about 7x more. If I could expand my advertising client-base in the way that I've slowly expanded my journalism network, I could actually be strongly, safely self-employed. If I do find a job soon, that's fine. I welcome the benefits and the steady pay, and extra freelance work on the side will help rebuild our savings. If I don't, though, in some ways I find that more exciting. I've never really been self-employed for longer than a few months, and I've certainly never made any decent quit-your-day-job amounts of money at it. And, to cut right through all the bullshit, after losing 4 jobs randomly and through no fault of my own, the idea of being self-employed is pretty dang appealing. Imagine: a job that can't lay me off. A job with no bosses, only clients. A world with.... No Masters. Dorfl, the Discworld's First Ceramic Atheist I love Dorfl, the Ankh-Morpork's golem watchman. (So much so that an artist friend of mine drew a portrait of me as Dorfl years ago) Golems are robotic slaves made of clay and brought to life by magic words placed inside their heads. On the Discworld, Dorfl decided he'd had enough and chose to ditch his owners. There are no words in his head except the ones he put there. No one owns him, he owns himself. No Gods. No Masters. Quote Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted February 6, 2018 Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 4 hours ago, ICB said: And that's when my sponsor, @sarakingdom, called me up and yelled at me encouraged me to attend some meetings while I take it one day at a time. Thanks, Sara. Vun drop vould be vun too many. Glad to see you back, and gah, sorry about the suckitude. On the meditation thing, maybe this is a good time for metta meditation, rather than mindfulness meditation. Sometimes that's a good compromise when your own head is too unpleasant, and job loss is probably one of those life events it's meant for. Or guided meditations, so you can do mindfulness, but aren't relying solely on your own brain's good behavior. This might be one of those situations where a small compromise is the bigger win. Dorfl is an excellent choice, as, indeed, is Mr Pump. Nothing like a golem for a work challenge. Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
ICB Posted February 6, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 8 hours ago, sarakingdom said: Dorfl is an excellent choice, as, indeed, is Mr Pump. Nothing like a golem for a work challenge. It is SURPRISINGLY hard to find pictures or art of Dorfl. For being such a great character, he doesn't seem to have captured much imagination. Maybe it's because he's not very personable? Most pictures I find are of Mr. Pump via Going Postal. I mean, I've got that portrait my friend drew of me, and there are a couple of things on Deviant Art, and then there's By Offler's breakfast, look at those clay hams. Dorfl was my inspiration for work, but now he's my inspiration for lots and lots of squats. Metta meditation is a great idea. I'll try a minute or two of my usual, then a minute or two of metta and see if my mind cracks. Quote Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted February 6, 2018 Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 There's not a huge amount of fan art for the books, and most of that is Vimes. The movies at least have screengrabs. 48 minutes ago, ICB said: By Offler's breakfast, look at those clay hams. Dorfl was my inspiration for work, but now he's my inspiration for lots and lots of squats. That... is some prime golem cheesecake, which I did not expect. But is oddly appropriate for Ankh-Morpork. If you've got a troll stripper, I don't see why there wouldn't be a golem pin-up model. Squats are a pretty good workout, if things involving your hands are out. That removes most upper-body exercises. Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
ICB Posted February 6, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 Dorfl: "Freedom Is Like Having The Top Of Your Head Opened Up." Vimes: "I'll have to take your word for that, Constable." Day 1 went well so far: Applied to a job +1 Physical therapy +1 Physical therapy was really good, I'm optimistic about strengthening both of my hands and being able to hop back in to a solid boxing routine. The job is also a pretty hot lead, since I got referred by an old buddy from college and the HR contact likes my resume. I'm way past getting excited before anything is set in stone, but a good lead is a good lead. 2 Quote Link to comment
Kishi Posted February 7, 2018 Report Share Posted February 7, 2018 I just recently had the chance to read Feet of Clay and loved it. Dorfl is awesome - he strikes me as a fantastical transhuman character, that is, someone who evolves human/sentient characteristics out of the, well, clay. And hey, any inspiration to do more Squatz is probably a good one. Sorry to hear you lost your job again, but it sounds like this is a prime time to get out of the grind and onto self-employment. It sounds like you could make that work, and as long as you've got unemployment coming in to help things stretch, it's probably as good a time as any to get on that. Of course, though, if you get back into the grind, well, that's not bad either. Hope your hands feel better soon! 1 Quote Work like a farmer, train like an athlete, fight like a soldier. 2 Tim. 2:3-6 BATTLE! Link to comment
ICB Posted February 8, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 12 hours ago, Kishi said: Sorry to hear you lost your job again, but it sounds like this is a prime time to get out of the grind and onto self-employment. It sounds like you could make that work, and as long as you've got unemployment coming in to help things stretch, it's probably as good a time as any to get on that. Of course, though, if you get back into the grind, well, that's not bad either. Thanks man! I'm in a weird spot, but at the moment I'm pretty well ready for whatever happens next. I'm just waiting for it to happen. Bit of a missed day today, no new points. I spent some time fixing up my portfolio website before I send it off to agencies, and compiled a list of 36 agencies to target. Wait, wait, I'm doing my PT exercises right now. +1 2 Quote Link to comment
ICB Posted February 8, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 'Is It Frightening To Be Free?' 'You said it.' 'You Say To People "Throw Off Your Chains" And They Make New Chains For Themselves?' 'Seems to be a major human activity, yes.' Pretty good day so far today. I meditated and it was...fine? I did 3 minutes on a chill-out visualization exercise and then 3 more minutes on metta meditation, as per @sarakingdom. It was fine. No real problems, and I felt nice and relaxed just in time for a job interview. Job interview went great -- good money but it's a bit of a commute. We'll see how that shakes out. Meditated +1 PT exercises +1 Apply for a job +1 2 Quote Link to comment
Toshimi Posted February 9, 2018 Report Share Posted February 9, 2018 Yay on the pt!!!! at least one is great, but did you get both in? I know I need to get better at it. I'm supposed to be doing my knee stretches 3 times a day, and my exercises at least once. That being said... off to do my PT exercises before bed! Quote Try not, do or do not- Yoda Link to comment
ICB Posted February 9, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2018 Busy day today, but got 2 rounds of PT exercises in. Also applied for a job and did some work in the garage. PT Exercises +2 Apply for a job +1 2 Quote Link to comment
ICB Posted February 14, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2018 Weekends are always slow, doing-things-you're-supposed-to wise, but on the plus side I did have a job interview today, and that went well. I don't think it will end up being a good fit for a permanent position, but it doesn't have any of the Horror Show Warning Signs. It should be perfectly fine for a few weeks or months while I keep looking. PT was good today, too. We started upping the weights and it's a serious workout. You know what's weird? Spending an hour at the gym and leaving with only 2% of your body VERY tired. Apply for jobs +3 PT Exercises +4 Meditation +1 Quote Link to comment
Kishi Posted February 14, 2018 Report Share Posted February 14, 2018 13 hours ago, ICB said: PT was good today, too. We started upping the weights and it's a serious workout. You know what's weird? Spending an hour at the gym and leaving with only 2% of your body VERY tired. I bet that is. Are you cleared at this point to do the bigger exercises as well? Or have they limited you at this point? Quote Work like a farmer, train like an athlete, fight like a soldier. 2 Tim. 2:3-6 BATTLE! Link to comment
ICB Posted February 14, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2018 5 hours ago, Kishi said: I bet that is. Are you cleared at this point to do the bigger exercises as well? Or have they limited you at this point? I'm still limited at the moment, yeah. I haven't had any wrist pain for a couple of weeks, but I'm not cleared for impact or heavy weights yet. So I'm basically stuck with running and/or swimming. 1 Quote Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted February 20, 2018 Report Share Posted February 20, 2018 Swimming is pretty great, and might do a little subtle strengthening of the wrist. There's a bit of resistance on the hand. Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
ICB Posted February 22, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2018 Well I've totally lost track of all the various points here and there, but I'm still going to get a high score this challenge because +1 million GOT A JOB So that's nice. I don't know, I guess it doesn't feel real? I don't feel relieved or particularly overjoyed. Just like, cool. That's good. Job is better than not job. I know that's kind of anti-climactic for the +1 MILLION POINTS challenge goal, but there it is. After this many sudden job losses, I don't feel like it's worth celebrating yet. Check back with me in 2023, maybe by then I'll feel like it's a stable gig. Until then, it just feels like some money I'm going to get for a while until I move on to the next thing. Maybe that's...actually a healthy outlook for me, since I'm someone who derives a lot (too much) of my self-worth and life satisfaction from my job. PT is continuing to go well, haven't had any wrist pain at all for a few weeks now. I've been about 50/50 for getting my two home PT workouts done every day, but I'm pretty close to 100% for getting at least one every day. 2 Quote Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted February 22, 2018 Report Share Posted February 22, 2018 Woooo! Congrats! That is excellent news. May not be bad to work on setting up a sideline gig to make future job changes less chaotic and worrying. Like they say, Jobs In The Heart Cannot Be Taken. 1 Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
ICB Posted February 22, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2018 58 minutes ago, Jigme said: WOOOO JOB WOOOOOOOO 35 minutes ago, sarakingdom said: Woooo! Congrats! That is excellent news. May not be bad to work on setting up a sideline gig to make future job changes less chaotic and worrying. Like they say, Jobs In The Heart Cannot Be Taken. I Cash Your Paychecks Not Because I Have To, But Because I Have Made A Moral Choice To Do So Quote Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted February 22, 2018 Report Share Posted February 22, 2018 42 minutes ago, ICB said: I Cash Your Paychecks Not Because I Have To, But Because I Have Made A Moral Choice To Do So Indeed, A True Capitalist Thinks Of Benefits Constantly, Albeit In Terms of Denial. Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
Kishi Posted February 22, 2018 Report Share Posted February 22, 2018 13 hours ago, ICB said: Until then, it just feels like some money I'm going to get for a while until I move on to the next thing. Maybe that's...actually a healthy outlook for me, since I'm someone who derives a lot (too much) of my self-worth and life satisfaction from my job. Yup. I wouldn't advise being too wrapped up in it. You aren't your job, and if this one abandons you like the others do then you don't want to invest too much of your sense of self-worth in it anyway. That being said, grats on a new job. Quote Work like a farmer, train like an athlete, fight like a soldier. 2 Tim. 2:3-6 BATTLE! Link to comment
ICB Posted February 22, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2018 2 hours ago, Kishi said: Yup. I wouldn't advise being too wrapped up in it. You aren't your job, and if this one abandons you like the others do then you don't want to invest too much of your sense of self-worth in it anyway. That being said, grats on a new job. This has been a huge struggle for me for years and years. It's no wonder I ended up in a bad state after 3 layoffs, and even this one made me really depressed. I think I have this feeling that if you're going to spend such a big chunk of your life at work, it shouldn't be in some soul-suckingly awful way. And that's true, but then I morph it into, "well then obviously work should be The Best Thing, and it should Give Life Meaning and Give Me Identity, and that's an awful way to be. I'm working on it. Had the first day at the new job today, and it was totally fine. There are some things I don't like, but nothing major. And I think for me, for now, I'm going to work hard at feeling like that's completely OK, and that's all I need. My job has nothing to do with me except that I'm going to take pride at being good at it. 1 Quote Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted February 23, 2018 Report Share Posted February 23, 2018 1 Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
Kishi Posted March 4, 2018 Report Share Posted March 4, 2018 Hey, hope things are going well over here! Quote Work like a farmer, train like an athlete, fight like a soldier. 2 Tim. 2:3-6 BATTLE! Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted March 5, 2018 Report Share Posted March 5, 2018 How's the new job going? Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
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