New Moon Light

[Heidi]

 

Happy February, Druids.

 

This month there is no full moon, as the Snow moon of February was early and ambitious and showed up at the end of January just in time for a spectacular eclipse, leaving this a month for walking in the dark  as I make my way toward balance and harmony, in my life and in my soul.

There is no end in sight to the contentiousness that the universe is sending my way, giving me the opportunity to acknowledge and release my own shortcomings, if I'm up to the challenge.

 

I have worked hard to get where I am; the journey has been a difficult one since this time last year, and the year before that.

I don't expect the Universe will be done with me any time soon, given that I have a lot of Ranger-ish tendencies, wanting to blast through the high growth with a Machete, taking the hill while singing rousing choruses of TeamFightSong.  What's worse, I'm really good at this approach, so finding a still spot within is never my first inclination.

 

At the end of last challenge, I was still working on this, and had just found a profound stillness within myself. This sounds wonderful, but it had its own dangerous element of detachment that becomes the abyss instead of the engaged distance of a balanced perspective.

 

This challenge I'm looking for the path to be revealed. I have a number of elements in that activity to actually do, but this is less about tasks and more about a moment to moment mindset of finding calm in the chaos, of being the still point in the noise.

 

I'm happy to have you along.

Let's see what is revealed.

 

[Heidi]

All possibilities are on the table as I reflect on plans for the future.

It is time to question old habits and behaviors, to search for new and inventive ways to make progress.

This challenge, as we lean through a dark month toward the solstice is  time to make a fresh start, to write possible paths  on a sheet of paper. 

I'm giving myself until the equinox to make a solid choice, but I'm interested in exploring some real Yin energy as I open myself up to receive insight and listen to intuition. This is hard for me, and involves a lot of quiet stillness, not only when things are already quiet and still, but especially when they are not (which they so frequently are).

 

 Ideas, communication, education and transport are looming big as topics to be delved into, as are relationships, in broad terms of unions -- community and business partnerships, especially, the outward manifestation of my community involvement. My physical health and wellness have been in focus in for me since 2015, with a growing sense of substance and form. It doesn't look to be letting up on any front, though there may be some real progress instead of gathering tension. 

 

I'm looking to lean into my discipline, since I believe we fail to the level of our training. My partner and I have considered taking up a weekly qi gong routine, but I don't know if now is the time to add something new. I feel better about looking to see where and how it would fit in the real life schedule of it all, and then make a decision from there.

 

Education continues to be a major focus. I'm almost certainly changing the path I'm on, and it's no longer as scary as that thought was back in November when I first bumped into it. Now I'm at the point of sending out some intentions and seeing where they lead. I'll keep you updated as the messages from the Universe and the Universities come in.

 

 

[Jakkals]

Following along, and wishing you good luck.

[Plazmotic]

Following!

 

4 hours ago, Heidi said:

This month there is no full moon, as the Snow moon of February was early and ambitious and showed up at the end of January just in time for a spectacular eclipse

January stole February's full moon just so it could have two? Show-off.

[DarK_RaideR]

Front row seat reserved.

[Heidi]

Good morning. I just got out of the gym, having put the early morning sauna back into the routine with my partner now that the post-holiday schedule is back in place. (He was having to be at work across town before the gym opened -- it's nice to be able to "sleep in" until 4:30 again.)

 

Yesterday saw a lot of rest and recovery, with therapy and the steam room in the evening before dinner. We have been talking all sorts of options, basically brainstorming more than planning, and it feels really good. Dinner was a lovely salad of fresh greens and chopped vegetables, and a bowl of soup-turned-into-casserole (I made a chicken soup base for chicken and rice, and then my partner added *all* the rice that we cooked -- three cups instead of just one. It can be eaten with a fork instead of a spoon. It's delicious.)

Yesterday I also took care of some bills and paperwork; today's list focuses mainly on the work for the literary magazine (due Feb 14, so I'm in a good space with time management). There is another court case coming up on the 12th, wherein they are going to try to prove that I'm a deadbeat. It might work. I hope it doesn't, and I've done my level best along the way, a story that is evident with a paper trail. Small steps along the right path still have to matter, right?  

 

 

 

 

[Plazmotic]

3 hours ago, Heidi said:

it's nice to be able to "sleep in" until 4:30 again.

Wow. If I woke up that early I’d have to go to bed at 8pm, leaving me with only 2 hours a day to do anything other than work or sleep! How do you do it?

[Heidi]

4 minutes ago, Plazmotic said:

Wow. If I woke up that early I’d have to go to bed at 8pm, leaving me with only 2 hours a day to do anything other than work or sleep! How do you do it?

I go to sleep at 8:30 p.m. 

 

What time do you go to work, @Plazmotic? I find that having the time before work is much more productive, not only for walking and swimming and hitting the steam room or the weights room, (one hour or so, including the shower) but also for writing, reading, and handling paperwork that I'm always in danger of putting off.

 

I also like getting to work as early as the office will allow -- usually around 6:30 or 7 -- and then leaving while there's still come daylight to be had. I do errands from 3-5 and then am at home around 5, sitting down to dinner with the family and playing a game while we eat, talking about our day. Dishes are usually done around 6. It takes planning, but it works, and I love feeling as though I'm not at the mercy of a hostile and uncaring clock.

 

[Plazmotic]

Oh my goodness. Are you a morning person? Your morning routine sounds positively herculean to me.

 

I wake up at 6:30am so that I can be at work around 7:45am (long commute) and for the first 15 minutes I’m literally shuffling around with my eyes closed and hands outstretched to make sure I don’t walk into or trip over anything. I need to be up for about 30 minutes before I’m okay with talking.

 

I finish work by 4pm but I usually don’t get home until 5:30-6pm, at which point I have to cram working out, errands, cooking dinner, family time with my husband, showering, etc. before I go to bed at 10pm. Night is when I come alive, I’ve always been a night person.

 

I definitely feel the tyranny of the clock during the weekdays. But waking up early is just… not going to happen with me. Waking up at 8am on weekends is one of the best things in my life right now.

[SS3TaoMan]

19 hours ago, Heidi said:

I find that having the time before work is much more productive

 

Yeah definitely helps, I struggle once the work day is over, my mindset isn't as clear as it is in the morning.  Your routine seems superb especially with the dishes done by 6, I might have to implement that one.  I should probably read up on how to plan better throughout the day, sometimes I do feel as if I'm at the mercy of that hostile and uncaring clock.

 

19 hours ago, Plazmotic said:

Waking up at 8am on weekends is one of the best things in my life right now.

 

That's pretty decent for not being a morning person! I love waking up early on weekends too.

[Heidi]

19 hours ago, Plazmotic said:

Are you a morning person? Your morning routine sounds positively herculean

It's really the same as your schedule, I think, shifted up by 2 hours, even including the two hours for running around after work.

I wasn't a morning person until I started riding the stationary bike at the gym for 20 minutes each morning. Instead of 20 minutes walking around like a zombie, I pedaled for 20 minutes, and it has changed my life, my attitude and my attitude towards life.

 

[Heidi]

Another morning in the sauna, followed by job applications and breakfast.

 

Life is good.

[Plazmotic]

3 hours ago, Heidi said:

I wasn't a morning person until I started riding the stationary bike at the gym for 20 minutes each morning. Instead of 20 minutes walking around like a zombie, I pedaled for 20 minutes, and it has changed my life, my attitude and my attitude towards life.

This sounds like something I could actually do at the gym! The problem is getting to the gym in the first place. I hate leaving my bed in the morning LOL. The only reasons I ever get out is because either I’m hungry or I have to go to work and not be fired.

[Plazmotic]

3 hours ago, SS3TaoMan said:

 

That's pretty decent for not being a morning person! 

It’s a product of getting older + my husband wakes up at 6am and sweet-talks me out of bed with a hearty breakfast.

[Heidi]

13 minutes ago, Plazmotic said:

This sounds like something I could actually do at the gym! The problem is getting to the gym in the first place. I hate leaving my bed in the morning LOL. The only reasons I ever get out is because either I’m hungry or I have to go to work and not be fired.

I am the same way!

In 2012, it was a matter of getting out of bed so I wouldn't die - my heart rate was way too high, and my stress level from a horrible work environment was literally killing me.

 

The thing that made it easier was a friend to meet me there. If you can find this, it's gold.

Even so, know that I'm interested and proud of you if you can do it!

[Plazmotic]

1 hour ago, Heidi said:

The thing that made it easier was a friend to meet me there. If you can find this, it's gold.

Saaaaame! If I have a workout buddy, I am set. I need external expectations placed on me! This is why I work out with my SIL, she holds me accountable for being present. Just wish I had a friend closer to home.

[SS3TaoMan]

21 hours ago, Plazmotic said:

It’s a product of getting older + my husband wakes up at 6am and sweet-talks me out of bed with a hearty breakfast.

I think my wife would appreciate this "sweet talking" & "heart breakfast" *taking notes* Happy Friday :]

 

21 hours ago, Heidi said:

The thing that made it easier was a friend to meet me there. If you can find this, it's gold.

That is a great point, you ever hear of those folks using that mini trampoline?  Like Tony Robbins?  I heard someone at work talking about how it is great for them in the morning to "loosen up".  I don't know if I'm ready for the gym (and gym buddy) yet but maybe I'll look into this so I can at least get my body used to moving again, and it seems fun (perhaps a bit dangerous).  Happy Friday :]

[MaD MaLKaV]

I'm trying to carve out some time in my morning too.  I was going to bed at 8:30 or 9 anyway, so I figured why not start getting up at 4:40 am.  I wake up pretty refreshed though, when I actually get up, so it's a good time to meditate.  It's a challenge for me to make it a habit though, since it's so easy to just hit the alarm and not get out of bed.

[Heidi]

Good morning.

Last week was filled with weirdness: I still don't have a signed order from the Dec. 19 hearing; my dad called and wanted to see me, which was weird after being treated like a carrier of the Black Death for the past three years; some bills got paid.

 

I was anxious about meeting my dad, but I said yes, setting the date out to Sunday to allow me to go the Meeting first, and to allow him to find someone else to ask first in case he wanted to ask me for money, the only reason he has ever initiated contact. I was hopeful that perhaps he just actually wanted to see me, but pretty realistic about the odds.

 

 The whole meeting was bizarre, reflecting that I'm in a very different spot now. Indeed, he had needed money, but someone else had 'come through' so he spent over an hour talking about himself in breezy anecdotal tones, talking about how he was going to move in with a friend of his in a month or so, never really saying anything of substance and not once asking me anything about me or my life or even how my day was going. He barely stopped talking the whole time, and it was as if I was a stranger he met on the street that he was talking near, not talking to. I was glad Harvey had gone with me so I could ask him his read on the whole event. He said the conversation was like I wasn't real. I agreed. Another funeral moment, hurtful, but more dull than piercing.

 

We went to the sauna afterwards, then I called a friend and ended up helping her with her printer, which was a lovely pair of activities to follow the lunch: self care and community. Then a quiet evening of dinner and watching Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny before an early bedtime.

 

I have court this morning over the support issues and I'm very anxious.

All will likely be just fine, but I am a bundle of nerves anyway.

 

Happy Monday.

 

 

 

[DarK_RaideR]

Sending positive energy and zen vibes your way.

[Plazmotic]

Hope court goes well for you, sending good vibes for a Monday morning.

[Heidi]

Whew.

I made it through court.

All is well, though, again, there were moments that were difficult, that presented themselves as lessons, and I found the  space inside me to listen and to meet the lesson with open eyes and calm heart.

 

I do not think these lessons will let up for the coming calendar year, so it's good to know now.

There is much to be done, and a long way to go, and the path unfolds as we walk it.

 

Love and peace, Druids (and to the random Rangers and Warriors who drop by too.  You know who you are. )

[Sloth the Enduring]

This random ranger lurker is glad things are well for you again. I don’t think I’d have the strength to go through everything you’ve been asked to do.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Heidi]

23 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

This random ranger lurker is glad things are well for you again. I don’t think I’d have the strength to go through everything you’ve been asked to do.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hey there, @Sloth the Enduring! Good to see you again.

Man, I don't think I'd be able to go through it either!  

It's just a case of showing up each day.

 

I confess that this week has held a lot of emotional work all at once. Added to that is the collective-craziness of U.S. relationship weirdness around Valentine's Day, and it's all more than a little nutsy. Sometimes it's all I can do just to do nothing (which sounds weird, maybe, but makes sense from here).

 

Love and peace,

Heidi

[Plazmotic]

13 hours ago, Heidi said:

Added to that is the collective-craziness of U.S. relationship weirdness around Valentine's Day, and it's all more than a little nutsy.

I forgot it was Valentine’s Day until someone mentioned it on the radio this morning. I like my low key Valentine’s Day